 So I've been, of course, testing and looking, what's the truth? And I've noticed that there is a yes when it opens up here, and a no, and it pulls up here. And interestingly enough, I've had migraines in the past. So always this pulling. So that, to me, is interesting to understand, because I've looked all my life, why do I get these migraines? And it has been a no, always telling me no. I do have this confusion in my testing as well. Sometimes it appears as if the ego has understood the system a little bit too, and is trying to pretend to give me an impulse that is not coming from the truth, but from the ego. Is the ego doing that? Of course, it's doing only that. That's its main business, to confuse you. The more terrestrial you are, the more corporeal you become, the more present you become, the less that ego, that wily thing, that ego lie can confuse you. The more detached from the system, the more in a higher state or whatever it's called in the different traditions, the more the ego is in charge. That is the horrible truth of these experiences. And of course, one can take that risk. There are people who like to do all of that. There are many ways to the truth. The issue and the problem is the question of samarpan, of surrender. There is a deep resistance to surrender in every form and facet of that expression. The bending has to be there. There is no experience of truth without it. And what is bending to what? It is Petra, the name of this body is Petra, right? It got a little stamp when it was born. So there is Petra, and she's bending to the impulse of truth that is emerging from her center, her central impulse, the cosmic impulse, the antar-atma, the antar-guru, love, truth. It has different facets and different names, but it's that thing finally. And bending to that, samarpan to that, means flowing with that impulse. So if you've had that kind of pain in your life and if you're now associating that with a no from the system, then try to imagine how much no you've been living, which means the ego has determined a large part of your existence. And it's amazing now, because you can see that. You just need to move that compass in the right direction or follow the compass that is pointing you in the right direction, right meaning that which brings the greatest joy to the system. We're not here on this planet to suffer like this. I'm still a novice in asking and talking or getting in touch with the truth, but what I was still first have a surrendering inside of you and right before you ask the question, because if I'm not, then the ego is trying to get in. So it's first but surrender and then ask the question and then to hear. Yes, and what is interesting also is that after a while, you won't need to ask any questions anymore because the system is in tune with the truth. Of course, it's something that is not continuous. Sometimes you fall off, then you bring yourself back on track, then you might veer off the track, then you bring yourself back on the track. But what is interesting is that it is not this enlightenment that you're yearning for and which you never reach, apart from three people who are sitting under a tree and being looked after by the village and there is this sort of sadness. You're 75 and 80 years old and you still haven't touched the truth with your fingertips. When all that time, that truth is right here at the center of your being. It is not out there. So as you start to feel this truth within, that empowerment is not an egoistic empowerment. It is the truth that is in action then. And the first time I had a migraine, was it a time when I did long, long meditations? There you go. Nothing unusual. I've heard that so many times here. Long meditations, they're like an anesthetic to the system. They just push out the consciousness. And if you're looking for enlightenment, certainly you can do that. But may I ask, and not from a utilitarian perspective, but from an existential perspective, what is enlightenment doing? Every enlightened being has to reintegrate in order to function in this body. So if that is also this, then why go into that when you can be this and experience that in this? The existential question and answer that comes from the enlightened master only comes after reintegration into the system and the deepening of the self-realization process. That's when they start answering questions. They don't do it before because they can barely speak. One after another, example after example of that. So self-realization is you bending to the source, to the soul, to the truth, to love in samarpan, in surrender and moving fearlessly with the action of the truth. It's about moving fearlessly and you develop that fearlessness to go with the truth by the various practices that essentially support the spiritual quest, like seva, for example, adhyatmik seva, spiritual service. Those disciples of Ramana who were in the ashram and who were receiving the truth at his lotus feet were in seva, they were in samarpan, they were in seva. They were not cherry picking what they like about what he's saying and applying it to a limited conceptual approach. So the quest for the truth is not simply a conceptual quest, it is a holistic quest. It is about the entire system acting in the truth, not just the conceptual, not just the emotional, but the entire system in the non-dual state. So as the experience deepens, what you're experiencing as the know now will even get lesser and lesser and you won't even have that pain anymore, the no pain because the opening of the heart in your case is an experience of the yes, right? So that will open more and more.