 The Kraft Foods Company presents Willard Waterman as the Great Gilder Sleeve. The Great Gilder Sleeve is brought to you partially transcribed by the Kraft Foods Company, makers of the famous pasteurized processed cheese food, Belvita. Belvita has a wonderful cheddar cheese flavor that's rich yet delightfully mild. It's delicious and it's the finest quality cheese food you can buy because it's made by Kraft. The name that for years has meant only the finest in cheese and cheese foods. Get a package or loaf of Belvita tomorrow and enjoy the cheese food of top quality, Belvita, made only by Kraft. Well, the Great Gilder Sleeve and his family had a fine summer. His nephew Leroy went to camp, Marjorie Bronco and the twins vacationed at Baidui Lodge. Birdie visited her folks and the water commissioner went fishing. Marjorie, have you seen these pictures of the fish I caught? At least a dozen times, Anki. Birdie, have you seen these snapshots? Take a look. My night, ain't that summer? Of course, the big one got away. Yeah, sir, the big one got away from me, too. You? I didn't know you were fishing this summer, Birdie. Yes, and I almost caught one. This fish was over six feet tall, weighed 200 pounds. Oh, no, Birdie. Oh, Birdie's cute. Well, here comes Leroy down the walk. That boy sure has grown. Have you ever seen anybody so tan, Anki? Yeah, I don't know if it's tan or the sun just mellowed his freckles. Well, Cap was good for him. He seems to have settled down a lot. Well, the association with older boys was just what he needed. Little Leroy is mellowing. Yes, sir, I ain't heard a door slam since you came home. Oh, my goodness. Hi, I'm sorry. You're home. Leroy, what are you so excited about? I just came from Piggies. He's got a car. Your car? A real car. His dad's going to teach him to drive. He is? What kind of a car is it, Leroy? It's orange with black polka dots. Leroy, you've got no business with a car. Ride your bike. Well, I got to have a car. Piggies got one. You ought to see Piggies. Piggies got one. Leroy, you can't have a car. You're too young. No, that's final, my boy. When I think you're old enough to drive, I'll teach you in the family car. Gosh. I didn't learn to drive until I was 18, Leroy. So what? You're a girl. Crazy. That's what I'm afraid of. Now, let's drop the car. Have you seen this picture of my fish? Fish, Mish. I don't want to see him anymore. Yeah, all right. Gosh, young. How can a good uncle like you turn a little kid down on the only thing he's ever wanted? I don't try that approach. Well, Piggies' dad bought him a car. I got a bad uncle. Leroy. Well, Leroy, that's not true. Leroy, you ought to be ashamed of yourself. You got the best uncle you'll ever have. Yeah. Now, let's dry up and see if we can't figure this thing out. Let's look at it this way. If you really want a car of your very own, you'll enjoy it more if you save your nickels and pennies and buy it yourself. Yeah. And by that time, no doubt you'll be old enough to drive. Yep, and you save enough money, my boy. Keen, I can't wait to tell Piggies. Yeah, Leroy. Yeah? You do think I'm a good uncle? Yes, well, uncle. You'll be settled before he saves enough money to buy a car. Give us leave. You're not only a good uncle, you're smart. I suppose that boy got that thing in the yard without us hearing it. He must have pushed it. Anything that dilapidated wouldn't run. Sounds like he's dilapidating it some more. Well, if he hits it one more lick, that thing's going to fall apart. Leroy, where did he get enough money to buy a car? All he had this morning was five dollars. Hello, everybody. I'm home. Uh-oh. Bertie, we expect you home this time of day. Well, I thought I'd come home for lunch. And incidentally, see if Leroy's forgotten about wanting a car. Oh, he's forgotten about wanting a car. Good. Yo, sandwiches. Does one of them have my name on it, Bertie? Yes, sir. Why don't you sit down and just pitch in? Yeah, fine. Where are Marjorie and Leroy? Oh, they're around. I felt a little sorry for Leroy this morning. Yes, sir. I wouldn't dream of letting that boy have a car. No, sir. I do say so, Bertie. I handled the situation very adroitly. Yes, sir. It'll be a cold day in August when Leroy saves enough money to buy a car. Well, August is gone. But sometimes we have cold days in September. Mr. Gilseed, that Leroy's a fine boy. Yes, he is, Bertie. That's one thing you got to say for Leroy is never give you no trouble. That's right. Up to now. Also, that good little boy never has to give you no trouble up to now. Bertie, what's this all about? Nothing. That poor, good little boy never has to give you no trouble. I know that, Bertie. Mr. Gilseed, you know what that good little boy never has to give you? Yes, Bertie. That's right. It is a car. He's saving for that heap. I hate it to have to tell him to get rid of it. Sometimes you have to be a bad uncle to be a good one. Oh, hello, Judge. Beautiful evening for strolling, isn't it? You know, you hadn't noticed. Well, Commissioner looks depressed. What's the matter, Gilday? Didn't you get to turn off anybody's water today? Judge, I'm in no mood for levity. Oh, sorry, Gilday. You do look troubled. I am. I had to go back in my word to Leroy. Why, Gilday? Well, it couldn't be helped. He wanted a car. A car? Well, he isn't quite ready for a car. Yeah, that's hard to explain to a boy. I finally told him he could get one when he saved up enough money. I didn't know he had $5 left over from his vacation. $5? What kind of a car can you buy these days for $5? Well, everybody likes Leroy. The fellow at Murphy's used car lot. Let him have the one that was holding up the fence. That car? Why, it's been out in the rain and snow for years. But they just keep it around to make the other used cars look good. Well, Leroy has it now. Yeah, I hated to do it. But I gave him until dark to get it off the property. What do you mean? If I may say so, Gilday, I think you've acted rashly. Me? Would judge a car like that as dangerous. Why? It'll never run. And when Leroy finds that out, he lose interest in it. Yeah, I refuse to take that chance, judge. Gilday, you're being a knucklehead. Horace, instead of thwarting the boy, be a good fellow. Play along. All you have to do is convince him the car won't run. Then you'll have no trouble disposing of it. Well, I... There he is now, judge. Look, between the houses. He's trying to push it out into the alley. All alone. Little Leroy. Right, George, judge. I'll try it your way. My way is breaking my heart. You'll never regret it, Gilday. Come on, Horace. Come on, hurry. Leroy! Evening, Leroy. Hi, judge. Well, my boy, I see you're busy with your car. Yeah, I'm trying to get off the property like you told me on. The sun isn't down yet. I've still got half an hour. Well, no, wait a minute, Leroy. Wait a minute. Let's take a look at this car. What kind of a car is it, Leroy? All kinds, I guess. It's a rather handsome car. It's no good. I'm ready to get rid of it. You are, Leroy? I'm going to take the spark plugs out and give them to you. Oh? One of them might work. Well, thank you, my boy. But... Judge, could you use 15 cents worth of gas? Well, Leroy... 15 cents worth of gas and not even a sputter. Would you help me push it out in the alley with the rest of the cans? Well, are you sure you've had enough of it, Leroy? I guess so. Well, I want it to be your decision. But of course, if it won't run. No. Piggy and I worked all day trying to get it started. You're too bad. I decided to let you keep it if it worked. Hadn't I, Judge? Yes, indeed. You mean you'd have taught me to drive it and everything? That's what I had in mind, my boy. Now that you've decided to junk it, I guess there's nothing else to do. Oh, gosh! Let's give the crank one more twist. Can you just give the crank one more twist? Sure, well, a good man like you on the crank won't get my start. Yeah, well... Go ahead, Gilday. Go along with the boy. Yeah, yes. Well, it's a waste of time, my boy. But I want you to be convinced. Switch on the ignition, Judge. Oh, boy! Where is it? You just hook that wire to the battery under the hood. I'll do it. You won't start. You contact... You see, I haven't cranked the car in quite a while. You are right. It won't work. Okay, I'll give it one more spin, Gilday. But, Judge... Like a good fellow. You're right. You... You... You... You... We'll be back in just a minute. Let's see, beef and peas and carrots... Say, Bertie, what are you talking about there? Is that your shopping list? No, sir, Mr. Heason. That's my leftover list. You know, food's too expensive these days to be careless with. So, Bertie makes every bit of food count. Well, what are you going to do with those leftovers, Bertie? I'm going to make the nicest, smoothest, golden cheese sauce you ever did see for these pieces of beef and vegetables. Yes, sir, Bertie's going to make a velveta sauce. That's a good idea, Bertie. Crafts, pasteurized, processed cheese food, velveta, so smooth melding, it's perfect for a cheese sauce. And velveta sure does taste good too, Mr. Heason. You just asked Mr. Gil Sleeve and Little Leroy. You ought to see the way they go for that swell, rich flavor of velveta. And, Bertie, velveta is good for every member of the family because it's rich in important food values from milk. And velveta is digestible too, as digestible as milk itself. No wonder you like to fix up those leftovers with a velveta sauce. Yes, sir, and it's a mighty easy sauce to make. You just melt a half a pound of velveta in the top of a double boiler, stir in a quarter cup of milk, season, and just like that, you got it. Bertie's own easy velveta sauce. Yes, sir? I always say velveta is delicious, nutritious, and good in lots of dishes. That's right, Bertie. That's what I always say velveta is delicious, nutritious, and good in lots of dishes. You know what Bertie always say about velveta, Mr. Heast? That's right, Bertie. I always say velveta is delicious, nutritious, and good in lots of dishes. So, where Leroy is concerned, the great gilded sleeve is an old softie. But he never would have promised his nephew to teach him to drive the old car the boy brought home if he'd had any idea the thing would run. It did. And open her up. Leroy, can't you wait until I finish my dinner? What's left to eat? Well, more coffee, Miss Gilded. Do you have more, Bertie? Heck, he's had six cups of stone. Leroy, it's darn. Yeah, and the car hasn't any headlamps. Well, take it out under the streetlight and drive it around in circles. No, Leroy. Good gosh, you promised. I got Judge Hooker for a witness. You old goat. So I made a silly promise. You certainly did. Well, everybody makes mistakes, don't they, Bertie? Yeah, well, when you feel a mistake has been made, the thing to do is hold a meeting about it. That's the democratic way. What's going on here? Well, I'm merely putting it up to everybody, Leroy. We're all interested in your welfare. We all have a vote. So what do we do? The question is, should Leroy be allowed to drive a car? Margie? Well, the whole idea is ridiculous. Leroy's too young to drive. Marge! Yeah, that's one vote. Bertie? It ain't up to me, but I second the motion, Leroy. Oh, for corn's sake. I'm being framed! No, Leroy, the majority rules. Okay, let me put something to a vote. Marge, should I go back on his promise to a little kid? In fact, you shouldn't, Donkey. Hot diggity, Bertie! This ain't up to me, either. But as a matter of fact, you shouldn't. No, I'm being framed. This early in the morning, just me and the birds. And I had to get out before Leroy got on that car kick again. Yeah, well, I can eat breakfast at Peavey's. He has the worst coffee. Hello, Peavey! Well, I don't know, I think you don't have to sleep. What can I do for you this morning? Well, I thought I'd have breakfast with you, Peavey. Well, you can't have breakfast with me. I can't. I had breakfast with Mrs. Peavey. Oh, my goodness. We had stewed apricots, bacon, soft-boiled eggs, cinnamon toast with parquet, and coffee. Sounds great, Peavey. Serve me the same. No, we don't serve that here. We just serve it at home. What have you got besides that coffee? Let me see. You don't have many calls for breakfast. Our big rush hours at lunchtime. Do they care for a salami sandwich? No, not for practice, Peavey. That's the worst suggestion I ever heard. Well, if you don't like it here, why don't you eat it at home? Well, I couldn't this morning, Peavey. I left early, so I wouldn't bump into Leroy. I wouldn't want to bump into him either if he's driving that car. Yeah, have you seen him, Peavey? No, but the judge told me about it. But a boy can have a lot of fun tinkering with a car. I remember the happy hours I spent tinkering with my first car. You know? Yes, I was the biggest tinker in town. Peavey, I guess I have to drink some of that coffee. You can give me that salami sandwich, too. Peavey, I'm in a terrible spot. I can't teach Leroy to drive that old rattletrap. From the way the judge described it, I'm surprised he could get license plates for it. License plates? They don't have those yet. Police Chief Gates has a drive-on now to get unsafe cars off the streets. He has? They say he's cracking right down. Say, if I went down for license plates and phoned the chief to be there waiting, he'd probably condemn the car. That's a possibility. And if Chief Gates condemns the car, Leroy will feel all right about it. He's a great admirer of the chief. Right, George, Peavey, I'm glad I came in. So am I. That would be ten cents for the coffee and twenty-five for the salami. Well, I'll pay it, gladly. And Peavey, you serve the best breakfast in town. No, no, I wouldn't say that. What's now, Marge? Uncle Mort, where have you been? Hello, Marge, Leroy. I've been waiting so we can take the car out on the road. Now, Leroy, there's a little matter about this car we've overlooked. Yeah? What now? Well, it just occurred to me that we don't have license plates. The heck, wait up! Leroy, they're old. Yeah, a little rusty. Let's see just how old they are. Eighteen thirty-one. No, no, nineteen thirty-one. You can't use those, Leroy. Well, let's drive down and get some new ones. Yeah, capital idea. That's exactly why I came back home. Marge, will you drive Leroy down in the family car? And I'll follow you. All right, unky. Why can't I ride down in my car? Why can't I take the wheel? Yeah, Leroy, it takes an experienced driver to handle a car like this. If we get the plates, yeah, I mean, when we get the plates, you can ride with me. Details, details. All right, connect the wire into the hood, my boy, and I'll give her a spin. Okay! Yeah, Leroy, this time be sure the car is out of gear. All right, stand back, Marge. Be careful, Uncle Morse. Don't worry. Are you out of gear, Leroy? Out of gear. All right, ease, use, ease, use, ease, ease, ease, ease. Bring so I can sit down behind the wheel. Sure. He's anxious to see you. It sounds like I'm not coming back. Do you hear, Chief Gates? Leroy has great respect for the badge of authority. Well, uh, I'm anxious to see Leroy's car. Here comes Mr. Gilder's sleeve down the pike now. Look at Gildy bounce. Well, he doesn't slow down for the bumps, does he? Pull over here, Commissioner, in the parking lot. Well, he's circling the lot. Show off. Commissioner, quit clowning. Not yet, Leroy. I presume he'll have to keep circling until he runs out of gas. Well, I wonder how long that'll take. Fifteen cents worth of gas. Commissioner Gilder's sleeve. Well, here it is, Chief. Yeah? Where do we get license plates? Well, Leroy, you're a fine lad and I hate to disappoint you. Yeah? But I'm afraid the city of Summerfield will have to condemn this car. I really haven't time to go into that, son. I'm sorry, my boy, but this would have to happen sooner or later. I'm afraid your uncle's right, Leroy. I'm the law. Leroy, how much did you pay for this car? Five dollars. Well, I've been thinking, we need a car like this as an exhibit. Exhibit, Chief? Yes, as a horrible example to show people what not to drive. Leroy, if you're interested, the department will give you ten dollars for the car. Ten bucks? Oh, boy, do you hear that, hon? Is that wonderful, Leroy? I'll shake. Gilder's sleeve will be with us again in just thirty seconds. For your family's nourishment is concerned, don't guess. Be sure. When it comes to buying cheese food, insist on Velvita, Kraft's delicious pasteurized processed cheese food. Velvita is not only good to eat, it's good for your family too. Rich in important food values for milk that growing children and adults need. And Velvita is digestible as milk itself, perfect for wholesome, good-eating snacks and sandwiches any time at all. Make it your handy helper, mother. Velvita, the quality cheese food that's made only by Kraft. How does it feel to be a man of means? Ten dollars is a lot of money. Oh, it's keen, honk. And the Chief even let me keep the best part of the car. You know, kind of a little souvenir, something to remember it by. Yeah. Yeah, that's nice. Everybody's happy, and the house is quiet again. Oh, what's that? The horn! That's the part of the car I kept. I can remember my first automobile. What do you mean, every hour? I hooked it up to the electric clock. My goodness. Good night. The Great Gilda's sleeve is played by Willard Waterman. The show is written by Paul West, John Elliott and Mandy White, and is partially transcribed, including the cast or Walter Tetley, Mary Lee Robb, Lillian Randolph, Ken Christie, Earl Ross and Dick LeGrand. This is John Easton saying good night for the Kraft Foods Company, makers of the famous line of Kraft quality food products. Be sure to listen in next Wednesday and every Wednesday for the further adventures of The Great Gilda's sleeve. You can help your country and help yourself by investing your money in United States defense bonds. There's no safer investment, no more convenient way for you to save, no easier way for you to help your country. Buy United States savings bonds regularly. If you're on a payroll, use the payroll savings plan where you work. If you're self-employed, use the bond a month plan where you bank. Remember, defense is your job too. So help your country and help yourself. Buy U.S. defense bonds regularly. Here it is to be ignorant next on NBC.