 السلام عليكم everyone Welcome to the Practically Preparing for a Ramadan Workshop الحمد لله we have Usdada Husay and Imam Dodh Yasin and myself presenting We thank you guys for your attendance Insha'Allah and we're going to begin with Usdada Husay on mentally preparing and emotionally feeling ready for everything that encompasses Ramadan Insha'Allah بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم الحمد لله والسلام والأشرف الأنبياء والمعال سيدنا ومولانا وحبيبنا محمد صلى الله عليه وسلم وعلى عليه وسحبي وسلم تسريمن كثيرا سلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته الحمد لله نحن في الثلاث الثلاثة before this blessed month of Ramadan next week so this is a time where a lot of people are again just preparing for the month just yesterday subhanAllah I had three different sessions all on preparation for the month of Ramadan so with that said I was asked to speak a little bit about a topic that I love emotional intelligence as it relates to Ramadan so some of you may not know what emotional intelligence is and what it is is basically in the most simplest terms it's a framework that helps you to manage your emotions identify and manage your emotions and then also help other people manage their emotions and one of the really simple acronyms that you could learn just to kind of stick or to have that definition stick is ARM because A stands for awareness so to become really self aware of yourself and then the R relates to regulating your emotions and then the M is for managing emotions of course your own as well as other people so when you become more emotional intelligent you really work on honing in these skills and I came across this framework several years ago and as soon as I started reading it it just instantly spoke to me because I found that everything that they were describing was really just applying Islam if we actually learn our Dean and apply it we will become emotionally intelligent and so that just you know I started to delve into it deeper and the more and more I looked into it I was convinced that this was a really great modern tool to help to teach people really Dean and Tarbiyah and the prophetic wisdoms of our tradition so years later when I was speaking to Sheik Hamza he actually told me about a hadith that really was incredible when he said it to me because I had always thought of this concept of emotional intelligence being something that was modern right in 1990 it was discovered and then we have Daniel Goldman who's the kind of leading pioneer on the topic he's the one who really put it on the map right that term well that's what I thought until Sheik Hamza mentioned this hadith where he said the prophetic wisdom said رأس العقلي بعض الإيماني التوددو إلى الناس which is that you know after the basis of reasoning after faith is you know is loving kindness towards people and subhan Allah that was amazing because he is connecting intelligence and again emotional management right of other people so in fact which shouldn't surprise us right because a lot of these modern ideas that we are impressed by if you actually dig a little deeper you find that they do have roots in tradition and religion and subhan Allah especially when it comes to our faith because it is so deep and it covers so many of these wonderful topics that you'll always find connections and just actually yesterday or the day before on Instagram I posted about this very thing that a lot of the modern tools that we use in fact have traditional roots in our faith so I wanted to now just talk about more about how we can understand emotional intelligence practically and tie it to Ramadan so I already gave you the definition of it now the qualities that you want to develop to become emotional intelligent are five and this is again according to the works of Daniel Goldman so the first is to become self-aware which I mentioned the second is self-regulation the third is motivation the fourth is empathy and the fifth is social skills and if you really look at each one of them subhan Allah you'll find that they do actually they are skills that we should absolutely have every day of the year but certainly in the month of Ramadan because the month of Ramadan again is a time where we really are being put to the test right we should see it as that it's an opportunity to really bring out the best of whatever is suppressed within us because a lot of times during the year of course with work and schedules and all of the other routines that we get bogged down by that part of us that true essence of our nature which is of course our soul gets lost and so Ramadan is a time for it to emerge and for us to really discover a lot about ourselves and our connection with Allah subhan Allah and emotional intelligence if you understand it and apply it it can certainly help you so for example the first quality right to become self-aware what does that mean well you know first and foremost at a certain point and I work a lot with youth and I think it's imperative that parents and educators teach youth you know all of the of course the regular education that we want them to have but also really to help them understand themselves and so temperament for example is something that we you know for historically always taught you know it was very much a part of our tradition to teach about temperament it means edge we call it an Arabic which is to know like you know basically what is your what's your blueprint how do you operate you know like we understand operating systems right we have devices there's the Apple iOS camp and then there's the Android camp right and we know we understand that these are two different systems and they have different operating systems well human beings are simpler right we operate in different wavelengths on different levels certain things appeal to some they don't to others so really focus or understanding yourself for example the most simple you know definitions that we all should know are are you an extrovert or an introvert because that actually does really help to understand yourself if you are the type of person that when you're around large settings or social settings or there's a lot of stimuli you feel affected by it and it just drains you you are likely an introverted person and if you're the opposite where when you're alone too much it starts to nag at you and you feel uneasy and you like to be around people and you always have some sounds or something in the background because you don't like silence then you likely are an extrovert just that simple understanding of yourself can really help to know what your comfort levels are for example you know Ramadan is a time of community right so a lot of people I mean now we're in COVID but outside of that a lot of times we there is the social element right and so some people that's a really attractive thing like they can't wait to come to the Tarawee prayers and they have stars and to go house if they're hopping house to house you know during the month because they love connecting with their community and that's beautiful and for some people that's what they need because maybe they've been disconnected whereas other people that doesn't sound as appealing because again their nature is that they want to retreat they actually want to be at home more so if you are only receiving one message though like let's say you're reading a book or you're listening to a talk and the message is you should be you know congregating and meeting with people and you know reaping the benefits of the جمع then you may feel lost in that you know like what about if I just don't want to you know or vice versa maybe you're on the opposite extreme where you really are going so inward which of course is your right but you don't want to meet with anybody and you don't really want to have any social connection then maybe you need to find that balance right which is really what again first becoming self-aware is is learning about yourself and understanding that nature but then the second part of it is where's the balance because both of these extremes wouldn't quite fit we are social right our dean is a social dean but we also have the element of certainly of of spiritual retreat and so that's why understanding these things about yourself then takes you gradually to the next step which is I have to regulate these things because if I draw a line and say well this is just who I am and I don't want to participate in this x y or z and I'm not really realizing that just because something fits for me or feels right for me is it right right that's really the question because the perfect example of course is the promise I sent him and his entire life is known to us because so that we can model ourselves after him and he showed us just how he was able to balance he of course had the ability to or he showed us how to retreat right I mean his entire beginning of his prophecy was all about his need to pull away and to just be isolated and to really contemplate and to do all that and then he also showed us the importance of being social and being in the community and being active in the community so his life is a perfect example of how we can find that balance but this is what again being emotionally intelligent does is it kind of forces you to see yourself right to forces you to see and understand yourself and then do that compare and contrast with the best of examples of the promise I sent him so you really pay attention to all of those nuances about you those little quirks that you have and you know look where do I need to filter what do I need to enhance and work on you know improving and then what do I need to change and so when you gradually move from self-awareness to self-regulation to second quality now it's about how do I do that and that's where a book like here I have Purification of the Heart right this is an excellent book for anybody who's in the self-regulation phase which is I need to learn how to control myself right and this is also I mean by extension it is a bit of self-awareness too because you have to read these diseases of the heart which is what the book is about in order to know what diseases you have but then they also teach you how to control that right how to control these diseases so the you know the we have in our tradition Tasquia which is the science of purification purifying one's soul one's heart one's tongue there's a lot of emphasis on action right where you are aware of what the problems are and now you have to do the actions that follow and so that is where you know the second quality of emotional intelligence comes in and this is a life long pursuit like when we talk about Tasquia it's not something that you once and then you're done with every single one of us every single day of our lives have to work on this and Ramadan is actually a time where we're kind of catapulted right into this work because all of these things start to emerge you're going to start to see maybe some bad habits come out because you know it's normal right you're cut off from your normal routines your coffee in the morning whatever you know cravings you have and or sleep you're interrupted so those changes can definitely affect our mood and our behavior and so we're going to start to see maybe some negative qualities within ourselves right maybe we're less patient we're hangry as they say and we kind of in the beginning need to kind of pay attention like what's going on here and realize that all of that is part of that filtration process it has to come out like let it all come out and then find your you realize that this is you know the month to do that and maximize your time in all of the things that we're taught to do right prayers بادة بكر قرآن all of that is to help us to manage that so self-regulation when it and again outside of Ramadan is all of these things in Ramadan it's specific to really using your time wisely like your time is so important in this blessed month and if you waste it or squander it doing anything of no use for example yesterday during this workshop that I had there was a brother who was very honest and may Allah bless him and reward him because he was vulnerable and he shared with everybody that one of his struggles is that he actually watches a lot of television during Ramadan and it's something that he he just he doesn't like himself doing it he actually hates that he does it but he's kind of I think habituated you know it's a way to buy time there's sometimes the days are so drawn out and the hunger can overwhelm you so we turned to these different mediums to escape and so he was saying that that's what he does and he was really sitting with a lot of guilt with that so I just you know I wanted to sympathize because you know he was isolated from his community he didn't have a car to be able to do certain things so there are people who are in circumstances like that and that's why we have to be compassionate in the way we answer to people but I just told him that okay so if that's something you're struggling with and maybe the rule that you have for yourself and this is where again he had to regulate himself is that you're going to do it better if you want to watch TV for example or social media then just have a rule that says I'm not going to indulge in things that I know are absolutely wasteful and harmful or completely haram but maybe educational maybe beneficial and there are options for us so you know kind of imposing that rule upon yourself but in this month the time is so precious that even if I have these weaknesses that I'm going to try to somehow work around them and make sure that I am not again harming myself or squandering the time of this month so that's in a self-regulation and then we have the third quality which is motivation and there's so much to say about each of these by the way I'm just because our comments are brief here I can't get into all of them but I've done several talks on this before but just in the context of Ramadan you know to be motivated I love that Allah SWT you know kind of has made the reward of Ramadan mysterious to us like we really have no idea just what the rewards are and he even in one verse says that the fast is best for you if only you knew and I love just even the phrasing of that because it's really you know helping us understand that there are things that we there's a lot of things that we don't know right but when it comes to the reward of our fast and the sacrifice of the fast that we're doing and all of the other things that we do our charity, our prayers, our du'as in this month there are secrets only known to Allah SWT and that I think serves as a great motivator in that all of the things that we second guess about ourselves that we feel a lot of self-doubt about and you know guilt over our past is that this is a reset this is the ultimate reset and that's why when we have the gift of witnessing Ramadan we really have to look at it as like you know this is an extension right it's an opportunity from Allah SWT for us to reach back and to get closer to him but he's extending the opportunity to us it's a gift it's a windfall because it's time it's so much there's so much barakah like I said that we can't really know but to have that as a motivating factor and then of course you know to look at when you're reading all of the beautiful commentary on just the rewards of the month and the different times for example when you're breaking your fast when you're waking up for the Hajj then you're praying at those times those beautiful times of again intimacy and then all of the other deeds that we're doing just that there's this again this you know this this mystery to it but it's for us to be incentivized to do those things and so just to find you know to pursue those deeds and also to increase our reading of the book of Allah SWT this is probably I mean it is we all know that Ramadan is the month of the Quran it's the month that we are supposed to really connect with the book of Allah SWT so that's also another really important part of being motivated is that you know finding goals that connect you to the Quran and so if you can read the Quran الحمد الله then a good motivating thing to do just to keep yourself going and if you're part of the masjid even coming to the tarawih and praying those prayers and doing a khatm of the Quran should be something that gets you up every day like it's another day to you know again finish my reciters whether I'm reading it myself or I'm coming to the tarawih and I'm listening to it or I'm listening to it at home there in multitude of ways that we can really have that connection but having these goals right this sense of accomplishment is also a way that we can feel motivated so that's the third quality then the fourth quality has to do with empathy and I love this because I remember when I was younger and we learned about Ramadan that always stuck with even as a student in a Muslim student in a class in seventh eighth grade when the you know the the chapters or the in class when we would start talking about Islam and this topic of Ramadan come up that was always framed as you know Muslims fast in Ramadan as obviously an act of worship but also to sympathize right with other people who are hungry and who are you know in these impoverished states so it was always framed as an action that Muslims do to bring about this concept of empathy and I really appreciated that growing up and even now I think we all know that that's one of the central reasons why we fast just with you know withholding all of these indulgences that we partake in every single day of the year for a month and not even the entire month by the way it's just during daylight hours right sometimes we forget that you know once the sun sets people do tend to kind of default sometimes into those habits but just those daylight hours with restricting yourself and holding yourself so that you can feel the pangs of hunger so that you can really realize that there are you know millions if not billions of people in the world who are in that circumstance but it's not a choice for them it's not something to do as an option this is their daily reality and they don't really have you know a huge افتار or who are waiting for them at different intervals you know during their day or week or month they just basically survive on what they have so empathizing with people during the fast and also the charity right we know that was most charitable during the month of Ramadan and that's also something we should do so this is the time to really think about all the different organizations or even individuals that you may know that are in need and just to just put aside all of the things that trivial things that sometimes we again we give into it because you know buying consumption is enough right if you're constantly just you know on these now we can shop online so everything is so easy and convenient but we do it almost you know automatically we're not even thinking sometimes oh I like this let me go click and buy click and buy and we do that so much and sometimes half of the stuff remains in boxes that we don't even use it because it's something that again it's a modern phenomenon for those who are privileged to have that but it's a time to stop that right and to not indulge in that that habit and to rather do that for other things right other causes like donations you know launch good whatever campaigns that you see that you want to support but really amping up your charity for the sake of Allah سبحانه وتعالى and that's you know empathy and there's again so much so much more we can say about all of these qualities but the last one the last quality of emotional intelligence is social skills and that's the other incredible thing is that again when you look at the month of Ramadan we really do have an opportunity to maximize our growth in all of these five qualities because social skills is something that as I mentioned before we are a dean that is a dean of Jema we do encourage being social obviously to everybody's ability but we come together for prayer we come together to break our fast we should anyway we do a lot of things together we're fasting together so the idea of developing those social skills is really important as well I know during COVID for example it's been researched as well that the mask served as a barrier for a lot of people and it's been a little awkward right coming out of that that state of just not really having very limited contact with people not really talking much to suddenly being back into your community it's hard for some people especially if their temperament is more introverted but we do have to remember that you know the problems I said in the most difficult times was always accessible and he was always smiling it was so many descriptions of him always describe him as having the most cheerful disposition welcoming warm giving the salams we know of course it's sunnah replying is farb just knowing these basic rules about when you're with in gatherings for example if you're in a pair you don't talk secretly or in a language that a third person or other people wouldn't know around you you don't want to exclude people so anything that reminds us to not be to be responsible when we're in social settings is really important and everybody has to again look at where the area that they need to work on but it's something that is easily managed if you're just again reading the sunnah and really internalizing his way and starting to adopt this attitude that everything that I do that is in conflict with the way of the messenger of peace be upon him is not good enough and I need to undo that and adopt his way because this is how you know it's just a fact that if you want to be a better human being then the only path to do that is to follow his way and so really accepting that and working on that in the month of Ramadan in all of these areas right so again so much to say about emotional intelligence I definitely encourage all of us to know about this framework to understand it and if you have young children even as young as pre-teens or adolescents I teach these classes to that demographic for a reason because it's a tool this is a skill set and the earlier they can learn it and develop it the better it will be for them in every area of their life because again it helps them to really appreciate the value of our Dean and the Prophet's license example these beautiful wisdoms were given to us centuries ago by way of his teachings and so I encourage everyone to look into this I encourage everyone to inshallah really work on managing themselves in this month because this is really what Ramadan is about and on that note I wanted to actually share for those of you who may have the book Purification of the Heart and the appendices at the end of the book is actually entirely on Ramadan and it's it's an excellent there's an excellent section here that I really think everybody should read it's a few pages but there's a part here that I wanted to just read for all of you inshallah so to lure the believer into doubt is Satan's game to protect oneself from this is a personal responsibility we are explicitly told that Satan's guile is weak and that he has no authority except over those who choose to make themselves vulnerable and who are deluded so to shield against Satan's whisperings one must guard one's creed and sound belief and shun shady devices this entails confirming one's worship with the sunnah it requires deepening one's knowledge in Islam and it's various sciences if Satan sees that he cannot assail one in matters of creed and belief he then comes through the door of shahawat lust and desire our desires are integral parts of normal creation and function but when they evolve into masters that we consciously or unconsciously serve this is a problem that can become severe enough to drag us outside the fold of guidance for Satan this door can be lucrative especially with consumers of media who receive a steady stream of messages that make licentiousness and excessiveness appear normal the Prophet ﷺ told his companions to be wary of Satan and his designs for he flows in man's veins his alcohol flows in the blood delivering its debilitating effects to the brain, liver and other organs so too do Satan's machinations and enticements the Prophet ﷺ said that fasting is half of patience and patience is a quality indispensable for a successful life and afterlife Satan traffics impatience and despair while fasting exposes the folly of both the scholars of spiritual purification advise this be patient with regard to food which is the primary urge and with regard to sex which is the secondary urge conquer these two the rest becomes easy there is another hadith stating that patience is half of iman so fasting is a quarter of iman there is yet another hadith stating that God the exalted multiplies the reward for a good action and sometimes except for fasting fasting is my own and I shall reward it which indicates the enormity of the reward for proper fasting God says those who are patient shall be rewarded without measure in chapter 39 verse 10 fasting and patience are deeply rooted patience 2 is an important key to the opening of favors from God there is so much more in this amazing chapter because everyone who has the book Purification of the Heart by Sheikh Hamza Yusuf to please read that section as a good review in preparation for this month may Allah SWT again enable all of us and gift all of us and bless all of us with the ability to witness the coming of this blessed month of Ramadan Insha'Allah may Allah SWT may Allah SWT give us the best Ramadan of our lives may he accept our fast our prayers our charity our ذكر may he fortify our hearts in our faith may he give us conviction in our faith may he guide our children and give them strength in their identity as Muslims and insha'Allah bring سكينة and blessing to our homes يا رب العالمين جزاكم الله وخينا والسلام عليكم وفقنا توفيق صالحين ونفع لهم القراني وذيك الحكيم الله معلمنا ما ينفعنا ونفع لبعا علمتنا وزدنا عمو عملا متقبلا واجك الكريم يا رب العالمين اللهم لا سهلا إلا ما جعلته سهلا وأنتاج لحظنا إذا شدت سهلا اللهم أعيذنا من شروري أنفسنا ومن سيئات عمالنا وصلح من كله لا إلى أنت نستغفرك وأنتوب إليك وصلح لهم على سيدنا محمدين وعلى آله وصحبه السلام تسليم من كثيرا يا رب العالمين ورحمة الله وبركاته السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته الحمد لله أسأل لكم أسأل لكم على رمضان and this idea that you know kind of a preparation but preparation in a way that that perhaps excites us and I think and starting off for this رمضان this is special every رمضان is special no doubt but I would say for me that this is something special in particular because this رمضان for me now marks two lives if you will so I became Muslim when I was 26 and now this year becomes my 26th رمضان so I have half of my life as a non Muslim and half of my life now as a Muslim and I say that because I want to share with you that in in this month you know we perhaps one tries this kind of like one last assault to create doubt right if you can't get us not to fast he's going to get us to have he's going to try to work on us to have doubt that's his game and I think about you know what life was like you know kind of right up to that first time that you fast and whatever doubts that a person may have you can say with absolute sincerity I'm sorry with absolute يقين that whatever you think you can't do with the intention Allah will see you through it like whatever you think you can't do that Allah will see you through that and as I think about this month I want to share with you just some thoughts of some notes that I wrote some time ago but I think that they are appropriate and I think about this month it's as if we are hosting a most unique most honored and most generous guest and it's a guest that we are blessed to host once a year for the duration of a month the guest arrives at a point in time and departs at an appointed time and the beauty of this guest is that it brings the most sought after gifts for the spiritual aspirant right if we are aspiring in our relationship with Allah then this guest brings the most sought after gifts it brings God's mercy and generosity and disperses it to those who avail themselves to it like no other time of the year it brings us deeds that draw us nearer to our Lord and His pleasure in His garden like no other time in the year it distances us from the Hellfire and protects us from Shekwan and His Waswas like no other time in the year it brings with the fragrance of the garden it brings life to our hearts with the eternal speech of the ever living Creator of the Quran obviously we are talking about here and it builds our home with the families friends and loved ones and I think about this one aspect here in terms of in terms of protects us from Shekwan and His misgivings because what we find in this game is that Shekwan will tell us something or whisper something to us and either we're going to listen to it or we're not and that's the game and normally what we have learned from our scholars and from what we understand from our tradition is that Shekwan will normally just kind of put something forward to you once and if you don't respond to it he'll move on to something else but the nafs will continue to kind of push you towards that thing and so we think about Ramadan as I said in this kind of protection from Shekwan that beautiful hadith right و أغلق الأبواب الجهنم و صُصِل الشياطين like what a gift that is from Allah سبحانه وتعالى that Allah says that at Ramadan that the doors of jannah are flung open and the doors of jahannam are locked and the Shey'altin are chained and so our teachers taught us that all that is good will be pouring out from heaven and that's a gift of this month and all energy if you will this is a term that we will use in this way just for the description of this of or any type of what is called a negative aspect which the doors of jahannam they are closed and those types of whispering from Shekwan are closed off and it says that all of this is to aid one to not be distracted in the month and I just thought that is so incredible right like everything is multiplied in this month of the actions that we are doing and then I am going to make it easier for you to even do it in this month and so I think about this in terms of a gift so this guest is from the month of Quran the month of mercy the month of forgiveness the month of liberation from the hellfire the month of patience the month of reflection and renewed spiritual commitment the month of charity for the under resourced and solidarity with the underserved the month of when the deeds are multiplied the month of the pre-dawn meals of sahur and the month of qiyam and tarawih and I just think to myself like you know when we are having a relationship with this guest I am reminded of the tradition the one who believes in Allah that the one who believes in Allah in the last day they let him honor his neighbor and so and then also in another meaning as well too are his guest and let him honor his guest so here the question is are we upholding our obligation to honoring our guests in Ramadan that's the question I want to ask if we know that a guest is coming what preparations do we make make sure everything is in order we might even hire somebody to clean the house and take care of all of these things and we have this house right here how do we clean this house and how do we prepare this house for this guest that is coming so Alhamdulillah as we think about this month to think about it in that way and as Mashallah our sister Husay mentioned here that there is emotional intelligence that is required you know I think that there are some practical things as well too and just in terms of our spiritual intelligence that we want to think about and one of the things that I was just reading with our students we've been reading for the past couple of weeks on campus after the war each day we've been reading the etiquettes of fasting by Imam Ghazali and his book the beginning of guidance and one of the things that he said was like he said do not approach eating in the meal as if you want to make up for the food that was lost and not eaten throughout the day because that is the absolute opposite of what the goal and the intention of the month is because the whole idea of the month is to lessen one's desires and now maybe this is going to anger some people maybe it won't however I say that because I give this advice that perhaps we look to simplify our meals during this month look to simplify our meals during this why? because meals take time meal prep takes time shopping takes time and all of that time yes we are we want to have a good meal we want to have that but just for these 30 days just for these 30 days the best 30 days throughout the year look and see if we can approach this Ramadan with a different type of approach to our food one that is just simple now I'll share this with you again I don't say in any way to say anything other than I just wanted to test to see what this was like except my first 10 days of last Ramadan only on dates and water 21 7 at Suhoor 7 at Iftar and 7 at Al-Fatarawiyah and I drank water and I'm still here الحمد لله from the and Tabarak Allah not to boast but to show you what Allah can do I wanted to go the 30 days but I felt bad for my family because I wasn't joining them in meals but just because I wanted to say two things I wanted to see أسودين as we hear in the Hadith of the Prophet lived on dates and water for 3 months in the Hadith of Aisha right? so if he can do for 3 months can we do 30 days now I'm not saying everyone should have dates and water for the entire month we can try to roast them we can put them in a curry we can do different things I'm just teasing but what I'm saying is that it showed me what the possible and my schedule didn't change it's doing all of the things that I had to do why? because then you also understand that with this is like a this is a means but the reality of all things is Allah's Taufeeb in this because we can eat a king's meal and not be satiated or we can have dates and water and get up have our day be with our family be in Tawih and do all of the other things that we need to do so in this preparation maybe in this month spiritually we look to push ourselves outside of our comfort zone of what we've been now Ramadan does that no doubt we have to get up at times that we normally don't get up we have to be without food and water for times that we normally don't and so within it within itself Ramadan has the ability to do that but let's think about perhaps other things that we're doing that we can begin to eliminate because as I said before and I'll share this again is that as we look at Ramadan and we look at other aspects of the Dean and Ramadan falls into this category that Ramadan is proximity to God it's gaining nearness to Allah through subtraction through subtraction so if we look for multiple places within our lives of where we can subtract let's see what this Ramadan will look like and that we pray masha'Allah that this is you know one of the if not the greatest Ramadan that we've had وَمَا بِذَالِكَ عَلَى اللَّهِ بِعَزِيسِ that's not difficult for Allah to filter that right and then one of the things that I'll just end with here and I I kind of I feel like I always like to share this is that we really become people when Allah says when we really look at this and we really look to to what can I say that we really look to live with this verse of Quran when Allah says in Quran يَا بِنْ يَا عَدَمْ خُدُوا زِينَتَكُمْ عِنِكُلِي مَا شِدْ وَكُلُوا وَشْرِبُوا وَلَا تُصْرِفُوا إنه لا يُحِبُوا المُصْرِفِين that O children of Adam أدون yourselves أدون yourselves when you enter into the places of worship and eat and drink and do not waste where he does not love those who waste and so think about food or other things in this month think about this that maybe I take a few sips of this and if I set it down I walk away where is it what's left inside of the bottle doesn't matter to me there's another bottle right there on the counter let's grab another one so think about this now that would be considered waste and I just spent my entire day got up for Tahajjud prayed had suhoor made dua'a fasted made my intention fasted gave charity visited the sick attended the jana'z and all of these things that could be possible in one day in Ramadan broke my fast made dua'a the prayer is accepted but then at the time of my meal I will load my plate up not eat all of the food and then throw food away and Allah just says in Quran that he does not love so I go through the entire day in the state in which he is pouring out his love because of all of the actions that we did only to flip it into that side with his own words of saying that he doesn't love those who waste so maybe let's try to make a promise to ourselves to Allah to our community to our akhira to whatever it is that we look with intentionality that any type of any morsel of food will not will be consumed by us okay now there's one dispensation that I allow which is if someone else makes you a plate of food and that is because people I feel they misappropriate the sunnah and they say the Prophet ﷺ was generous so they'll load food and food and food and food and one more scoop and one more scoop and one more scoop onto your plate and you're looking at you're like I couldn't eat that between now and Tuesday and then I'm supposed to go pray and have presence with that right and so if that is the case maybe we can eat a portion of it maybe we eat a portion of it after I don't know but I'm just saying that we really look you get my point we're trying not to we're trying to to remove this cognitive dissonance to say make dua and then throw food into the garbage right so this is a challenge that I put out to myself and I put out to all of us here who are present إن شاء الله we can pass it on to those who are absent as well too that this is part of our spiritual preparation right that we will commit ourselves to not be people who waste in this month إن شاء الله it becomes habituated and we move forward with that so those are just a few brief thoughts as we prepare for this month and I think that she read the dua at the end and and and and and allow us to experience I like that personally I like that translation allow us to experience Ramadan with all of its gifts with all of its gifts that we know of and that we don't know of all of the gifts that we know and that we don't know facilitated by Allah SWT who is the most generous and in this month you know puts out a generosity and deals with us in a way that is just unimaginable and may Allah SWT continue to bless this community and its organizers of this community and the members of this community what it does in aiding people to have a beautiful month of Ramadan وصل الله على سيد محمد وعلى آلية وصاحب سام تسليم الكثير يا رب العالمين السلام عليكم ورحمة الكاتف ويأكو السلام عليكم I want to sincerely thank أستاذة حسائي وإمام دود يسين because they made my job so much easier مشالله it was the perfect prelude into this workshop because when we think about all of the aspirations that we want to accomplish me myself I have four boys مشالله I work and I love doing community projects whether it be with kids or women in building sisterhood so I realized that coming into Ramadan I always felt like I was in survival mode and I was tired of it I said how can I shift gears and make myself thrive during this time how can I be inspired by all of these amazing lectures these inspirational talks and turn it into a reality within our lives so Alhamdulillah I've studied corporate business strategies and I've also my passion is analytical so tying in a lot of these concepts that we've learned I formulated a lot of the worksheets in this workbook so you're going to hear a lot of the repetition of what they've already مشالله brought us to what's that we can interpret them into our lives and organize ourselves so you're going to see worksheets you're going to see tips and tricks you're going to have checklists and resource sheets everything at your disposal so I'm just going to keep go through so the first thing I like to do is I like to have a stop and reflect what does your typical daily schedule look like on a consistent basis when you work some parents some might be students what does your daily schedule look like when you stop and you break that down can you think about those items on your daily schedule that are absolutely necessary tasks can you think of things that you can break down in that schedule that might not be necessary and then for the things that are absolutely necessary do you think that we can find ways to enhance it that we can better utilize our time like Imam Dawood just spoke about maybe simplifying our meals I mean cooking is something that we all have to do but do we have to spend two hours creating feasts that most times we're not going to be able to eat after we break our fast so being conscious and reflecting on what we have to do what's necessary for us on a daily basis and then putting the steps in place so that we can shorten that time that it's committed from us is just something good to get into the habit of doing on a consistent basis just keep reflecting on that so one thing I like to say is for some of the unnecessary tasks that we do what are some unnecessary tasks that you guys can anybody in the audience shout some out can you think of any social media is a very big one big one for many people these days so in my I bad the swap section it just again has you reflecting so if you are in social media and you become overloaded as Osada Husay said maybe set some time limits for yourself you know instead of being on there for two hours say I'm only going to give myself 30 minutes or you can try and go the whole month without it other alternatives are there are amazing speakers and people to follow that give you inspirational رمضان tips that get you engaged that listening you can recite coulda and together listen to help you kind of keep you in line so utilize the resources that you have to your benefits and then there's lots of other options for example if you are somebody who likes to watch the TV and movies during your downtime there are so many really positive lectures Islamic movies inspirational a positive shows that you can gravitate towards during this month just to make your time a little bit more productive and enhanced ان شاء الله gonna let you guys just read through that and we'll keep going ان شاء الله one of the thing that was mentioned a lot is food preparation it's the effects that our food has on us so one of the biggest concepts I've learned is that within ourselves we have to learn how to balance the different parts of who we are the mind the body and then the heart so our mind is kind of like our intellectual goals those aspirations our heart are those emotional connections or as ستادة حساس said those purification elements of the heart and then our bodies are our physical needs our physical parts I want you guys to think when you are extremely hungry can you go and maybe ace that exam not usually what if you heard some really bad sad news that has you physically in anguish like I'm sorry that has you emotionally in anguish what happens to your physical energy levels a lot of times they're down so being conscious of what it takes as an individual to be productive in all elements is understanding all these different parts of ourselves so one of the things I like to say is for our physical selves being conscious of the types of food that we put into our body and the effects it has on us is important سبحان الله in our prophetic sunnah there are so many foods that are mentioned and when we think about these foods we look and we see all of their health benefits like سبحان الله I get goosebumps thinking about that because what we're taught in our sunnah is not just lessons to yeah okay that's a yummy treat سبحان الله there are so much wisdom and benefits to us as individuals if we are eating a lot of you know deep fried oreos chicken all this heavy stuff are we going to have the energies to get to تروح if we want to set a goal that every night we're getting to تروح we're going to pray كيام what are some of the practical steps that we can put in place to actually achieve those goals so food is a really big one a lot of people say well I like my food you know it's my tradition it's my culture and that's absolutely true and necessary it's a positive thing so instead of just throwing out the tradition keep the tradition but refine the recipes there are a lot of healthy alternatives to some of the heavier elements in our recipes that taste just as good take just as much time but will have a different effect on our energy levels so I go through quite a few and you guys can get the idea إن شاء الله so me personally for رمضان I don't want to make it about food I don't want to spend honestly any of my time in the kitchen preparing, cooking and cleaning up after it a lot of us know how much time that can take so personally what I've done I was a family of six I would cook and prepare all of my meals for three months one month prior to رمضان one month for the month of رمضان and then one month after so that everything was done that I didn't have to think about worry about food at all so this is one of my this was one of my family's personal one of the things that and excuse me that helped enhance my time during رمضان the most because when we actually that schedule I told you guys to think about where all of our time goes on a daily basis a lot of it ends up going to food so it would take me maybe six seven days of hard work but then three months of not thinking about it so I go through a lot of different tips and tricks on food preparation in here and a lot of the myths that people have so typically at these type of workshops I will actually have had food provided and people would eat and enjoy ahead of time so that you guys can have the energy for this long lecture and discussion but what I don't tell them is all of the food is actually freezer meals and then after they've eaten it they're like what no because knowing the little tips and tricks and actually trying and giving it a chance you realize that there's not much of a difference and then you kind of gravitate your diet and you make good choices based on that so imagine lots of soups stews, chilies and if you don't want to actually have fully cooked meals then just focus on one part of it just marinate your meats that by itself think about it if we had instead of marinating one different kind of meat every single day we marinated maybe five pounds of it and had it over the course of a few days does that not simplify and save time in the long run? save with cleanliness? we'll just throw it all in the food processor wash it one time and optimize our time and food prep is a very big helpful one now we don't have as much time we have about one week left from Ramadan so a couple of sisters asked me well we only have one week left how much food prep can we actually get done in one week? you can get a lot done every day this week for the next maybe six seven days double your meals you're cooking anyway just double it and freeze one then you'll have at least six seven days for those days where you want to make sure you get to تطوروية you want to make sure you do كيام but you want to make sure that your family is being fed another option would again just do meat marination get all of that out of the way pick one day and do all your food prep these little tips and tricks help for me personally I'm not quite at the extreme level but I will only do smoothies for breakfast I'll do a date smoothie with bananas and honestly that makes me feel full it gives me the energy levels and after Ramadan with this healthy meal preparation I leave it feeling so revived physically so subhanAllah it's not like the رحمة that Ramadan is it's not supposed to be a burden on us if we actually go into it with the right mindset we feel all of its benefits even its physical benefits so yeah there's lots of tips and tricks here one thing I got I get asked a lot as well we live in these smaller places especially in California how can we have the freezer space so I get into all of that you can just get freezer bags you can freeze them flat and you can stack 10, 20 meals even in the smallest of freezers and depending on the size of your family like you guys will adjust and you can figure out what works best for you so you also save money you guys buying food in bulk buying meats and vegetables in bulk actually helps you save it in the long run so you'll have more money to donate for silica and saka in sha Allah for Ramadan here I just go through a quick recipe renovation of like a healthy kind of meal prep idea for one day in Ramadan in the workbook because I told you there's an accompanying workbook in sha Allah you'll find lots of different tools so you have this the menu plan and then the grocery list and then to help you assist you if you do decide to go with freezer meals what's in your freezer to just know what you have and then organize yourself accordingly so the one reason I did the grocery list for every single week of Ramadan because again shopping happens to be one of the bigger items that takes our time so if we have a grocery list and we know what we're going into the store to buy and we're going to be fast and we're going to be efficient we're also not going to be going into the store hungry buying a bunch of things that we don't need both unhealthy and wasteful so organizing that grocery list going and being disciplined to only get what's on there really helps us stay focused for our goals in sha Allah and as we said we really don't want to spend Ramadan with a lot of waste because we're aware of our physical capacities and oftentimes we can't eat as much as our minds are tricking us into thinking weekend because we're fasting so planning now while you are not fasting helps kind of visualize that so as again Imam Dawood masha Allah said we want to welcome Ramadan as a guest if we have guests coming into our house we go through and we do the deepest cleaning we're scrubbing we're organizing we're getting everything ready and prepared we are so excited that these people are coming into our homes our personal spaces well with Ramadan coming Ramadan is our guest so I would highly recommend going through a nice deep clean prior to Ramadan these are all steps that you can do before Ramadan so that when you come into it you come into it with the mindset like okay this is my environment put on your moussha your tasbih have all your in one place place it really helps you kind of get into the right mind space to best utilize your environment and then the other thing is you've gotten a little bit of a head start so it helps obviously we're still going to have the everyday daily cleaning but doing that deep cleaning it really makes a big difference I like to use that example you know when we are getting ready to cook and we go into the kitchen if it's messy do we want to clean? do we want to cook I mean nobody wants that so with Ramadan coming make sure your environment is welcoming of it and so this is also kind of the fun element if you especially if you have kids decorate there are a lot of simple affordable ways to decorate the house I saw a bunch of decorations outside by the vendors if you guys are simpler out and just grab some Insha'Allah but the sheets that I have just help you kind of give you that checklist remember things that you might not necessarily have remembered another huge time saver so one year it was Ramadan and it was the last 10 nights of Ramadan and I was like oh my goodness I have to go buy gifts I need to eat clothes for my kids what am I going to do so naturally I'm going to get in the car and we go to the mall while I was there I was shocked I mean I shouldn't be shocked I was there but it was filled with Muslim like every single store I saw so many there were probably more Muslims in the mall that time than anybody else and I kept thinking I was like this is the last 10 nights of Ramadan this is precious time and we're spending it in the mall we have one week left the only thing you do is prepare for aid get the outfits done get the decorations done get all the gifts done now imagine that's one less thing during your last 10 nights so again yeah lots of organizers to help you guys remember so you don't forget anyone the next big thing that I found really helped save time for me as I mentioned I have 4 young boys and Alhamdulillah these days there are so many products and people that inspire us to engage a love of learning with our kids especially during Ramadan so when I began my kids are a little bit older now but when I began many years ago there wasn't as many things that we had available to us so I wanted to make sure that Ramadan wasn't spent just you know spending ourselves a food and then sticking the kids in front of the TV for long periods of time just because we were exhausted so what I decided to do was help organize my time and activities for the kids in advance so again prior to Ramadan this is another thing you guys can start planning from now so everybody likes Taco Tuesday right how about Tefsir Tuesdays get your family in the habit of getting these fun activities together or Islamic themed books you know there are so many actually amazing Islamic games as well that they can play and be entertained with during this month that have positive Islamic values so knowing these things and doing a little bit of time and research maybe purchasing them in advance or planning your own activities you know this is the time to do it Alhamdulillah and then again the calendar and the planner just helps you find it all in one place and I know sometimes we just get to those points we're working, we're exhausted and we will use the screens it's inevitable there are going to be those moments where we are feeling exhausted so what I highly suggest in those moments is have yourself a Youtube playlist with positive Ramadan content for kids we have the things that feature the names of Allah Islamic Nashid we have all of these different things again to enhance our Ramadan experience but also being mindful of our physical limitations and our emotional you know pushing points so utilize the resources that we have just prep it now so that when you're in Ramadan you're not like scrambling, wait is that a good content is that a good thing you have something already gravitated towards your children or your families needs to get the for helping family out so it's just something to be reflective of and to help in your planning so now we've thought about everyone else what about our spiritual goals what about ourselves do we want to finish a Quran Khutma this month do we want to memorize new du'ats do we want to be more involved in the communities and help with endeavors that they've already started and facilitated you know writing down your daily routine your daily goals will help kind of keep yourself on track so again when you're tired and you need some kind of inspiration you can go back like oh I wanted to do that today and again if you need to there are a lot of amazing resources online and virtually where they have 30 days of beautiful content to follow along with so that's why I always add the links because we can use technology to our benefit Insha'Allah especially during Ramadan so to help you set your spiritual goals I have a ton of content so I told you I'm very big about intellectual goals emotional goals and then also physical goals so for kind of reflecting on the type of different types of ibadah or worship it's just it's very helpful so in here you'll find tons of reflection and writing prompts to get you thinking about all the different elements of our religion it teaches you how to read it doesn't teach you it guides you on how we can read Hadith and then not just read it as it is but learn how to interpret it within ourselves and the lessons we can benefit from and start actually implementing within our lives Insha'Allah and then it's just positive guides to be reflective for example having better khusho in our prayer we're all at different levels so each thing is just meant to help us improve so when we leave Ramadan we're feeling like we are one step ahead of where we were coming into it Insha'Allah so like I said there's going to also be tons of helpful resource sheets so I like to call this also it's not just preparing for Ramadan but it's also what I like to use is my ibadah binder like it has everything easily accessible for me so if I'm going to the masjid I'll just grab it and go so it has it has it written in Arabic the transliteration and the meaning it has and the helpful benefits of them it has all the different types of dots that you can utilize throughout the month and daily kindness challenges or good deed challenges so that we can give on to others as we are a religion that really emphasizes being there for one another in our community so setting those daily goals for ourselves is really important as well such as maintaining family ties so there's a checklist to kind of help you remind yourself hey you know what let me call them you know we have long commutes how can we utilize our commutes better we can call family member we can listen to Quran we can do our morning of God we have lots of opportunities so these will just help guide you and facilitate it one of the things that I love to do especially for younger kids and yourself is if you're looking to memorize some dots for normal bond what I like to do is I like to copy it maybe on cardstock paper and then I'll cut it out and I'll tape it into the area where it's most relevant so when I was earlier when I was still learning and getting familiarized with certain for example the dot for traveling every time I got in the car I printed it out and I put it on my dashboard so when I got there I was like oh oh yeah I have to say that and then the repetition of continuously saying it helps you memorize it so do this with any kind of dot that you're wanting to incorporate you know the one where you're looking into the mirror when you're leaving the house there are so many things that I want to incorporate into our day one thing I want to mention before I go on is you know Ramadan is الحمد لله a prime time to fast but it's not only about the fasting there are many people that can't fast for different reasons whether it be for females being incapable at certain times sickness or age in here for physical goals exercise for me is very important for my emotional state of being so being self aware as has taught me that I need to release some of my energy sometimes so I have to kind of incorporate times for physical exercise for my emotional intellectual goals so one of the ways that I kind of I kind of advise this if during Ramadan there are actually tips and tricks within it but one of the ways that I advise too if you feel like you don't have time is simple little tricks like if you're going to go to Tadawiyah park far intentionally park far you'll find better parking spaces and then that walk to Tadawiyah would do your health a lot of good so little things like that it's just reframing every act that we do to give us the best chance to accomplish our goals so another thing that I highly advise is the vitamins you know understanding what our bodies might be lacking especially during Ramadan when we aren't eating sometimes the most balanced diets we might need a little bit of additional health for me personally with my gut health probiotics changed my Ramadan I was always feeling sick and weighed down then when I started taking probiotics consistently throughout Ramadan it really enhanced the experience I felt more energy I was able to get through it without feeling sick so subhanAllah vitamins you know speak with your doctors speak with a nutritionist الحمد لله see what your body might need to give you that little boost of energy as well yeah it also gives lots of tips for Quran خدمة how to organize iftars because you know and we will most likely have iftars during Ramadan so if you do it just being organized it really helps assist with that and then if you are going to miss fast you don't want to you know lose track of the days that you didn't fast so there's a nice organizer in there for that as well it also discuss the different types of سادقة it gives you tips and tricks for how to finish a Quran خدمة within the month of Ramadan for example if you only read four pages a day sorry not a day with each of your five Salahs you finish a خدمة in the month you finish completing the recitation of the entire Quran so now we have all of these goals set for ourself where do we find the time we talked about like the little tips and tricks to kind of enter it into our lives but how do we give ourselves bigger blocks of time during Ramadan for this I give two options because as individuals we are going to gravitate our own personal growth in different ways so it's important to have different options available to us so I have the weekly schedule which is a block calendar and then we also have the schedule tied to Salah so when the block calendar with the block calendar what you can do is you can write in the timeframe throughout your day and then block out all the times that you know that you are at something for example you are at work you are in class you are at a kids activity then when the free time blocks that you see plug it in as if it is work we wouldn't miss work one day say I don't feel like going to work no we make the time for it Ramadan is four weeks long so if we plug in those times of worship within our calendar we should be as consistent with them as we would our normal work schedule or our kids activities or any other type of event in our lives so holding ourselves accountable in that manner really helps us stay in line and focused the second one is our schedule tied to Salah so a lot of times turning something into a habit becomes easier if we connect it with something so like I said for myself I'm a very physical person so I wanted to incorporate more exercise in my life but I had very young kids so I couldn't think how can I find that balance for myself so what I did was every time I was giving them a bath I would be in the bathroom right there watching them making sure they were safe but then I would do crunches or I would do something physical and some kind of exercise while I'm sitting there letting them play have a little bit of fun but I disciplined myself that way and so every time they were giving a bath I got myself so consistently I tied it so consistently to that that it became like a routine we can do that same concept with our abadagals tied to our Salah so our Salahs are something that grounds us it reminds us throughout the day so when we're doing that and we're taking the time out for prayer we can add something additionally into that we can add our Quran recitation in there we can add our Adhqar or like I said you can sit at Al Rahim maintaining family ties doing positive things so we can tie to our Salahs just to help instill within ourselves that habit so now we're in Ramadan that all of these amazing goals we've set for ourselves are actually being attained what I've provided was a daily check-in for yourself so every day of Ramadan we have our Salah tracker we have our fasting tracker where you are in the Quran and then some points for reflection so we have like a daily Quran jam so what I highly recommend don't just recite the Quran definitely recite it insha'Allah so you can learn its interpretation when we do that and we reflect on its meaning we have a deeper connection with it and we're more inspired to continuously read on a daily basis leaving Ramadan insha'Allah also again we are a community that thinks of others so trying to do a good deed every single day a kindness for others and reflecting on that so we can continuously read on a daily basis is a really positive thing now we have so many pressures we have so much going on in our lives how can we keep our emotions in check how can we help self-regulate ourselves so on a daily basis I give stress less tips so every day is a different tip to help you find yourself and ground yourself just so that on a consistent basis we can become more aware when we are feeling emotionally balanced and we can put the steps in place to help self-regulate ourselves then of course Ramadan is the best time to do our yearly Zaka الحمد لله if we put in that amount especially the last 10 nights it again keeps us on track and keeps us giving insha'Allah purifying our well and then just for those who are especially I love this one but Islamically theme trivia challenges because like Imam Dawood said we want to kind of make this like our religion engaging and interesting so by having some fun or elements for our kids making it interesting it just helps us stay on track then also reflection section setting exercise goals for ourselves making sure we're drinking enough water so that we are being energized and then also the healthy food or dates of the day now we have little less than a week left to Ramadan this is the last part how can we kind of take everything all of our goals all of our aspirations and how can we break it into to do list for ourselves don't think that tomorrow you're going to be able to sit there and get everything done you're going to be practically prepared for Ramadan no you have a week left every day set for yourself compartmentalize your tasks into easy digestible amounts so that you're not feeling overburdened or overstressed prior to welcoming and coming in to Ramadan insha'Allah one thing that I love to emphasize is utilize the resources in our community masha'Allah we have a wealth of knowledge we have amazing food vendors we have so much available to us that if we just consciously realize everything that we have and then utilize them in those times where we are feeling exhausted we're giving back to our community but at the same time we're helping ourselves so being mindful of that is just something I like to promote and then this is the final slide insha'Allah we were talking predominantly about preparing for Ramadan but I also really want us to get into the habit of how can I take what I've done and how I've benefited in Ramadan and how can I move it forward so one of the best things is just to kind of find balance within ourselves by setting goals in the different parts of who we are so their mind, our body and our heart are different types of goals that we can set for ourselves and then insha'Allah we can turn these things into habits and next Ramadan we'll just keep adding and adding and adding insha'Allah so الحمد لله I think I've talked quite a bit I wanted to ask if you guys had any questions any feedback reflections sorry is there like a soft copy version of this book a soft copy version of printable copy there's not but it's available on Amazon and Etsy and we have it on the vendor store outside the physical book or the soft copy the physical book insha'Allah no problem any other comments questions reflections thank you for sharing they seem like really beneficial tips time saving in the kitchen one so I had a question I know you talked a bit about women who might not be fasting during Ramadan so I'm breastfeeding this Ramadan I don't think I'll be able to fast do you have any advice specifically for breastfeeding mothers on how to make the most of this Ramadan because we won't be fasting I feel like I'll miss out on a lot of feeling you know spiritually in touch with the month yeah الحمد لله this was something I feel like I feel like I'm in our community is that we kind of tie all of our spiritual connection to the ritualistic aspects of worship but SubhanAllah like was saying there are so many emotional connections between our religion so in the work book we talk about going over it's my names of Allah you know really connecting with the different parts of our religion setting intellectual goals for ourselves donating and volunteering your time at the communities I know you have a newborn so it might be a little bit more difficult with your time but just being a part of these experiences don't feel like just because you're not fasting that you can't be engaged you can't be a part of these type of things and then there are so many goals that you can set for yourself that I've gone over and there are worksheets for it that aren't tied to fasting so one thing that I used to do I have four boys الحمدلله was I would set a lot of my memorization goals during Ramadan so I would do my morning of Qad try and memorize da'ats and memorize as much of the Quran as I could during those times where I wasn't fasting so at least I felt like I had that connection with the Quran when I couldn't feel like my physical connection with the fasting was there and as well although you're a breastfeeding you can still do all of the maybe take turns if it's possible with your spouse to go to to be engaged in that congregation with the community it really does help your morale as a as a mom a new mom الحمدلله and then definitely حلق us and lectures I really want to thank MCC for hosting thank you brother Munir for all of your efforts and and for contributing الحمدلله حلق I really wanted him to finish with the دعات but they both finished their sections with the دعات so I'll just close off جزاك الله خيرون again I pray that we all make it to Ramadan I pray we benefit from this month anything that you may have benefited from today is from Allah سبحانه وتعالى سبحانه وتعالى سبحانه وتعالى