 Hello, everyone. My name is Marie Alsis, and I'm from Brooklyn. Well, obviously from Haiti, yeah. She's from Brooklyn. Come on, thank you for joining us. Are you enjoying the internship so far? I love it. If you are thinking about signing up, you should do that. Come on, amen. Marie, can you tell us a little bit about, from your childhood, what happened and let's go from when you received the touch of God and we'll go from there. So I came from Haiti with my uncle. I came here when I was about eight or nine. I left my whole family behind. I came here by myself with them, and I kind of had to become part of their family. I just had to just learn their ways and had to give up everything that I learned from my parents. And yeah. And so you came here about eight or nine years old, left your family, lived with your uncle, and then what happened? So when I got here with them, it was horrible. I was physically abused, sexually abused. It was verbal all the time, constantly. And I was in school, and I didn't know the rules because I didn't speak English. I didn't know what was happening. So I just found this teacher. She was also Haitian, so she spoke Creole. So I just started sharing things with her, like this was happening at home just for comfort, not knowing that she needed to call ACS or call the cops. I didn't know any of that. So that's what she did. She called the cops and called ACS. And apparently I was in trouble. She was also in trouble with my uncle, Monk, was like, we are Haitian. You're supposed to tell us before you call the cops. And she's like, no, this is my job. You're not, I'm just gonna listen to you. So I had to leave the home. They had to take me to get tested, all these things. And my two cousins who were, and played a major part of this, they left the home for a little while, but my uncle said, well, they're my children, and you're not. So you're leaving and they're staying, kind of. So I found myself, actually someone from the church was supposed to take me in, so I don't have to go in the first second system. And I came with all my bags in front of their door, but they didn't enter the door. So they decided not to take me. So my whole church rejected me. They didn't want anything to do with me. They were calling me a liar, that I was breaking up their family. So yeah, I found myself in the foster care system. And tell us when you got to the foster care system, what happened from there? So the first night I was in this big room, it was like as big as this church, like 20 beds and someone had to watch her sleep the whole time, so I didn't know what was happening. I actually just recently remembered this, like a part of my brain completely erased this memory until someone asked me recently and I was able to share that. But I remember just being there, not knowing what's happening. I was just going about, however they were telling me to do things, I was just doing it. I didn't really speak English, so language barrier, plus I was just all over the place. And finally, they found me a home. When I got there, I was completely lost. She was fully American, didn't speak, I'm learning English, I didn't really understand English then. So it was a big problem. At first it was fine, I didn't go to school for a little while, but after that she sort of like physically abused me as well. She was an alcoholic, she was drinking constantly because she needed therapy. So it was just a cycle in her life, like she didn't know any better. So it was just perpetuating all the things that she've learned from the past onto me. And my agency was somewhat aware of it, but they were like, this is the best home for you because you have your own room. Like that was their priority, that you have your own space and no one else would be able to take you in. So I had to live through that. But in school, I was just full of rejection. I couldn't even walk with my head up. My head would always remain down. I wasn't aware of this until a teacher asked me, why you never look anyone in the eyes? I was confused and I realized I could never look anyone in the eyes because I was just so afraid to look into people's eyes. Wow. And all of that rejection has started to affect your teenager years. You're looking for your identity. Tell us a little bit about that and how you got closer to Jesus and through your inner healing. So when I got to high school, so I was in high school, I didn't have identity. So my story is not just a story of, or I was rejected. I was literally subconsciously on a search for identity. So everything that came my way, I just grabbed onto it. So when I was in high school, I got into debate. So as an Afro-Caribbean woman, a Black woman from Haiti, I just was presented, your Blackness is your identity and this is what you have to hold onto. So I was in debate. I was traveling America debating. So I thought I was doing great, but I was so consumed by this Blackness as my identity that nothing else mattered. Like I literally, not anymore, had a hate for white people. Like I would like, I literally hated them because that's what I was told to do. Like I didn't know any better. I didn't know. And then I met this friend in high school. I met her mom and her mom invited me to church. So I went to the church. I knew God, I knew of God. So I'm like, you know, I've been Christian my whole life. And I remember I went to San Francisco to the biggest debate tournament of my life. I wasn't even supposed to go. I wasn't by God's grace. And I prepared months for this debate tournament because it was like championship debate tournament. I called her. I was like, mom, I'm nervous. I don't know what to do. She's like, well, you have allowed God, you have to allow the enemy to plant a seed of hate inside of you towards his people and you need to repent. So I remember she used to give me this little anointing oil. I went in the back of the bus and I just was crying. I was like, God, like, I cannot do this. So every plan I had, I was supposed to win the debate rounds. I just threw it all of them away and I lost every single round and I felt perfect peace. I lost round, but I was at so much peace. And my partner, she's just looking at me debating and she's like, what are you doing? Like you're not reading what we prepared. And I'm just looking at her like, I can't do this anymore. Like this is not who I am. And she just had to accept it. She was like, God gave me a special grace and I was at perfect peace and I went home and I just left the bait. Like I couldn't do it anymore. Wow. Isn't that incredible how God has journeyed along with slowly but surely starting to uncover the things that were planted in her heart, seeds of hate, seeds of rejection, things like that. I want you to tell us, I mean, we met you at the race to deliver conference in Seattle. How did you go from, you know, kind of living that life back and forth and going into wanting to seek the Lord deeper and deeper? Tell us a little bit about that. So while I was still in high school, I remember I went to a service in the church and the church is very Pentecostal. Like wherever you're Pentecostal, you had to walk through this way. You couldn't walk in front. Like they're just really structured. So I couldn't do anything outside of structure in the church. I remember this woman, she was preaching and she came to visit and then I just sort of shaking. I'm just like, why am I hot? Why am I shaking? I just couldn't stop shaking. And my mouth, I was like, blah, blah, blah, blah. I didn't know what was happening. I didn't know it was the Holy Spirit. And everyone's just looking at me like, what is she doing? So I just felt this heat and I just got up and I went to the front of the church and I was just like, and she's like, come down. It's okay. Like they call me down. I go back sit down. It's hot again in my mouth and I went to the front and I'm like, you don't understand. Some people here need to repent. They're not really questioned. They need to repent. And everyone is like, what is wrong with her? And it's like, it's the Holy Spirit. You have to promise that you will always be obedient to the Holy Spirit in front of everyone here. So I was like, okay, I'll be obedient. I remember and after that I got baptized, but still it was always a battle between God and I. It was like God had connection to me but I had no connection to God because all the trauma, all the things I've consumed over the years were just piling up and it created this big distance between God and I. But I just felt like all I had was the Holy Spirit. I didn't know much about the Holy Spirit but I knew a piece of God was in me and that's all I was holding on to. So I went to college. That's when everything went down here. I was in college and I was getting the grades. So the world validation meant nothing to me anymore because they were only accepting me. They were only accepting me because I was presenting what they needed. I was presenting the grades. I was being good. I was going to class doing what I needed to do. I was just trying to be a good child. So Black Marie, I'm proud of you, you're good. But in my soul, I was empty. I wasn't enough. I wouldn't apply for certain jobs and internship because to me I was stupid. I would literally stick to myself like that. You're stupid. You will never really be anything. That's what I believe. I remember when I was younger, my uncle looked at me and he said, you'll have to sell your body. You will never be anything. And I didn't know that really became a part of me subconsciously until I went to college and it started manifesting itself in multiple ways. So I was desensitized to love. I was desensitized to everything that was, I guess, good. That was family. That was love. That meant nothing to me because in my mind I have me and no one else. I don't need anyone. And tell us, that's perfect time for you to tell us through this internship, what God has been doing through your heart and your soul. So I came here, I remember my cousin. I started getting in connection with my cousin. It was just this one cousin, the girl, one of the girl cousins. She would always call me, even though her sisters and her brothers never wanted to speak to me. She would always call me. So I decided to go to Philadelphia to visit her before going on a trip to England to study. So I was with her, but no one could see me because I thought I'd forgive my cousins, but I didn't. I couldn't see any of them except for her. So she told me about Hungry Generation and I would watch Hungry Generation. I'm like, okay, this is cool. So when I came back from England, I just told God, I'm not doing this anymore. Something has to change. This cycle of like sending and getting back up, sending and getting back up and just something has to break. So eventually, finally, I actually, I came here in January to see Isaiah Saldava for the night of fire. But for some odd reason, I called Pagani's church. I don't know why. I just decided to call his church to see who would respond. And he answered the phone. I was like, oh my God, it's Pagani. And then we're having a conversation and I was telling him how like, the enemy has been tormenting me, telling me like, if you're dead, you're gonna hell. But I'm like, well, I'm Christian. No, like you're gonna die and you're gonna go to hell. And this was constant right before I came here. And he's like, how is your relationship with your dad? And I'm like, you know, I forgive him. Like, I guess like, we're fine. I don't really talk to him. He's like, that's the problem. That's how you've seen God. And I'm like, huh? Like, he's like, this is how you've seen God. When you get there, access there to pray for deliverance for you. So Isaiah prayed when I got here, I'm nothing, nothing left. I had no demon. I was like, okay, God, like, I guess it's not my time. But I met Mo and Lisa and I met Michelle when I got here. And I came here for deliverance but God sent me here for healing. And they were just speaking to me about my heart and I remember Mo and Lisa was just prophesying to me telling me this identity of being in the forsaken system. God is going to break that and you won't need to depend on anyone. But it wasn't clicking. It just wasn't making sense because in my soul I was still empty. I was retaining the information in my mind but it wasn't sleeping to get to my soul. So I left here. I was like, okay, God. And I was like in ministry doing things. But I'm like, something is not right. I was like doing deliverance, all these things. But I realized that something was still off between my cousin and I and we became close. I was able to do deliverance on them and invited all of them to waste the liver and God started my journey. That day I came to hunger generation and it's continuing here in internship. Isn't that incredible? This is an incredible testimony on the identity. How she was trying to seek her identity in society what people told her, her validation everywhere through the rejection, through the pain and trauma that she experienced as a child. But what is incredible is God's hand was upon her showing her and guiding her slowly to the inner healing that she could not escape. Amen. That in order to go forward you have to deal with the past. And what was beautiful is to see that God has been faithful taking her to the race to deliver. She said that I want more and came to the internship and seeking inner soul healing so that she can fully receive that freedom. Amen. And it's beautiful where her identity was in everything that was in front of her but now her identity is in Christ that she cannot be shaken no matter what comes her way. Isn't that powerful? Amen. And Marie, can you just tell us, I mean through your process of being in the internship what would be your word of encouragement to those that are trying to seek healing for the soul or find their identity? What would be your word of encouragement to them? Right before that I never received any prophecies about having children and getting married because I didn't want that. And I wanna have kids, I didn't wanna get married and actually, Mariana gave me, she shared a prophecy that she received from God about it and I was like, God, what are you doing? And God was showing me, I didn't want these things because of the trauma not because of just me myself. And God showed me, this is who you are now. And I want to tell everyone, sometimes you will see certain things in your life and you think that's who you are, that's your identity but your identity is only found in Christ. Not sure, not anything else, not the world. And I will tell you, continue to seek God and God will really show you who you are and not who the world says that you are. Amen, amen, that is so good. She's an incredible woman of God and where you can see that she has her shoulders squared, she's no longer looking at the floor but she's looking at people's faces but also to the enemy as well that she's not under his feet but he is under her feet. Amen, what he tried to press down, her emotional pain, her trauma but now she has the victory and she's bringing her identity in Christ and she will be unstoppable. That is the power of the Holy Spirit working inside of each and every one of us, isn't that incredible?