 Hey, Psych2Goers, are you having trouble deciding if your friend is a real friend? What do you mean by real, you might ask? Well, I'm talking about a friend who has your best interests at heart, a friend who is genuine with you and not sneaky. If you've had a friend for a while and you feel unhappy or that something's just off, it may be a sign for you to take a moment to determine whether or not this friend is a true pal or a toxic one. Here are six signs they're not your real friend. Number one, they don't show interest or ask about the details of your life. How much interest does your friend show in your life? Do they ask you how your day was? If they do, do they actually listen or look like they can't wait until they can talk next? A genuine friend is just that. Genuine. So if they ask how you are, it may be polite at first, but if you have something to say, they'll be sure to listen and show support. They care about you and simply want to get to know you better. Here's to hoping you show as much support and care towards them, too. Number two, they're not reliable and they're not there when you need them the most. Friends are there for you, especially when you're having a hard time. If your friend can't stop talking about themselves and their problems while not considering your own, then they're likely not a real friend. You may be actively listening to all of their worries and tough situations. I had to take the garbage out today. There were so many dishes piled up and they smelled so bad. Jason never called me back. My ferret died. Okay, the last one was pretty bad. So, I mean, be there for them, but if one day it's then your turn to talk about your worries and all they do is interrupt with a quick, oh, I gotta go. Or they don't even bother to ask? Don't even bother with them. Unless this is an uncommon occurrence with them and they're going through something, they're likely placing all their negative energy on you and taking all of your positive while not bothering to give back. If you still want to be friends and since there is something else going on, bring up your concerns with them. Mention that they haven't been there for you as much as you'd count it on. If they still won't listen, it's likely you're in a toxic relationship. Number three, they're extremely critical of you. Some fake friends can be extremely critical of their friends. Remember, your buddies shouldn't be your biggest critic. They should be your biggest fan. Some friends can offer constructive criticism because they want the best for you. And want to see you improve. They're honest, but they'll likely do so in a kind, friendly way if they are a good friend. If your pal is toxic, they'll probably just shame you rather than provide helpful critiques. If they're a good friend, they may just give a kind dose of honesty and advice. Number four, if they say sorry, their apologies don't sound genuine. Does your friend say sorry when they're wrong? No, uh-oh. What about when they do? Do they sound genuine? No, double uh-oh. If your friend is one to ignore your friendship concerns with a look of meh, then they're likely not a genuine friend. If your friend does apologize when they're wrong, but it's along the lines of this, I'm sorry you feel that way. Then they're not taking accountability for their harmful actions and owning up to what they've done. Good friends can admit when they're wrong. They'll then try to work on correcting any negative behavior that affects their friendship. So do you do the same? Number five, they keep score on how many times you wronged them. Does your friend hold a grudge? Do you hold a grudge towards them? Toxic friendships often involve one or both of the friends involved, keeping score of mistakes the other has made. When you do something that upsets them again, or maybe you're in an argument, they'll bring up all the disappointments and negative things you've said are done. Arguments can get out of hand sometimes, but a toxic friend will tend to bring up the toxic scoreboard only when they're confronted with their wrongs. They'll use all the times you did something similar as a means of not having to apologize or take accountability for what they've done wrong. A good friend is honest and listens to the concerns of their buddy. While everyone can argue, a healthy friendship is filled with healthy constructive discussions rather than toxic fights. So if your friend is acting a bit harmful towards you, how will you bring up the issue? Best to do so by having a healthy, open discussion so things don't escalate. If they still don't budge, then you'll have to decide if they're really a good friend or not. And number six, they play on your insecurities and make you feel unhappy. Do you feel unhappy around your friend? Insecure, you don't need to feel your most joyful self when around your friend. That's normal. And there can be times where you feel nervous or unhappy as well from time to time. But if your friend makes you feel bad about yourself, then this could be another sign you're in a toxic relationship. You shouldn't always feel on edge around your friend, afraid of their next criticism or harsh words. Maybe they make snide remarks or always hold themselves in higher regards to you. A toxic friend may play on your insecurities to make themselves feel better. Both needs should be met in a friendship without hurting the other's feelings or making them feel unhappy. Take note of how you feel after each interaction with them. Next time you hang out with them, you may have had a few fun moments, but do you come home feeling discouraged, humiliated or insecure? Is this because of something they frequently say or do? If so, it may just be that you have a toxic friend. So do you see any of these signs in your friendships? It's best to either openly discuss these concerns with them or think about letting them go as a friend. Do you see these signs in yourself? If so, know that change is possible. Work towards correcting any negative behavior you recognize in yourself. It may just be a small step you have to take first. Then, when you recognize and genuinely apologize for your wrongdoing, your friendship may have a good chance to get back on track. Sooner or later, you may get back to a real friendship. We hope you enjoyed this video, and if you did, don't forget to click the like button and share it with your real friends. Subscribe to Psych2Go and hit the notification bell icon for more content like this. As always, thanks for watching.