 What's going on infinite fam welcome back to another video if you guys are new to the channel Make sure you guys hit that subscribe button turn on your post notification But leave a positive comment down below very chance to get a post notification shout out at the end of today's video So guys today's video is a little different and a little out of my comfort zone personally I've spoke about before in the past on the channel, but your boy's not really good with his emotions So I'm really not sure how I'm gonna go about this and I do feel like if you are in a relationship You do need some like type of like reassurance So especially with Janice I feel like I need to give her that reassurance and I feel like I don't do that Enough just because like I said, I'm not really in tune with my emotions and my feelings and it's it gets a lot deeper as To why I'm not maybe I'll share that one day on the channel. It's a lot of stuff I went through but yeah, basically she thinks we're gonna be starting off our day with like a vlog We're gonna be going to Starbucks and then we're gonna hit the gym afterwards But what I plan on doing is basically grabbing Starbucks with her of course And then I want to read her something that I wrote actually this morning like at 5 o'clock in the morning Because I couldn't sleep for whatever reason, but I wrote this kind of like long little I guess letter Basically explaining like how much she really means to me and how much I really truly love her because I feel like I Don't say it enough and I get down on myself a lot because I'm not really that affectionate Emotional type of person and I know I should be and I'm really trying to break out on my shell and start doing that more Especially with Janice because I feel like she deserves the world and so much more so Honestly guys, like I said, this is a different kind of video I don't know if you guys are gonna like this video or not make sure you guys smash that thumbs up button Let me know comment down below if you guys like videos like this where I'm like more affection and more emotional towards her But yeah guys when she comes in we're gonna open up the intro together We're gonna go hit Starbucks and I'll probably say after we hit Starbucks like when we come back home And we're telling the parking lot or something like that. So yeah guys, I don't know why I'm nervous Like I said, I'm not really like I'm not really like that type of guy that shows the affection and emotions I feel like I keep saying that but it's really true And I'm just gonna try to break out of that show and just really try to give Janice everything that she deserves because I feel Like that's something that I lack and I don't want to lack that any further. So let's get into it What's going on if an event welcome back to another video if you guys are new to channel Make sure you guys hit that subscribe button turn on your post notification about leave a positive comment down below for a chance to Win a shout out in the next video that is right guys. So we're obviously in the car right now We're about to go grab some Starbucks got a little bit of caffeine even though That's probably not the best thing to do before going to the gym That's right is that I keep see see how like a custom. We are to Starbucks I'm not gonna I never thought I'd hear you say that I don't want Starbucks that I never thought I'd hear those words Honestly Starbucks has not been hitting lately. It hasn't but the Dunkin coconut refreshers those have been hit Yeah, they're like half the price We're gonna go to Dunkin. I'm gonna grab myself a pink strawberry coconut refresher. You guys need to try it out Maybe I'll grab a donut. I shouldn't throw it right. I shouldn't do it But what are you getting over there, I don't know I it's hard to figure out food with Dunkin But I'll figure it out. All right. Well, anyway, when we come back and we get back to our parking spot over here I actually have something that I want to read to you that I wrote this morning like I have five o'clock in the morning Oh, I know it sounds weird believe me, but I couldn't sleep and I feel like this is something that needed to be said So I know you're like thrown out of yeah, I know I know But we're gonna go to Dunkin and then we'll come back and you will understand everything. I'm nervous now You should be because so am I Can I have a large pink strawberry refresher coconut one and a small peach coconut refresher and a maple sugar Bacon sandwich and can I have one chocolate frosted donut? That'll be all Thank you. All right for the fans So they actually messed up my order I asked for the pink strawberry, but they gave me a peach But irregardless this so slap So if you guys have a Dunkin around you go try the coconut refreshers all the flavors slap and then Janice got a freakin Maple bacon. What is that a roller croissant? It's a croissant. When do you get that stuff? I don't I don't ever like I don't eat bacon. I don't have cheese and I can't eat gluten, but I'm starving and You know desperate times Crawford desperate measures. I hear you man. I hear you. All right. Well, like I said Yeah, so I have something I want to read for you Now this is gonna be me in my most vulnerable state as you and the infinite fam. No, I am not Sorry, I'll save it for later. Yeah. Oh the rain All right. Well, it's set in the tone. It's set in the movie. So Okay. Yeah, it's boring Yeah, no, we might have to take this inside now because the rain is too loud now You want to just wait it out for like five minutes to see if it goes down. Yeah, let's just wait it out Because I really don't even want to go in this rain to walk inside. I know and I did my hair today All right, well, we're gonna wait this out for like five minutes and we'll be back after this brief message All right guys, so now that Hurricane Katrina has passed and left us Um, I am ready to actually like I said, I was gonna be in my most vulnerable state You and the infinite fam know that I am not the best when it comes to my emotions I'm not the most affectionate person and I do get down. I said, why are you laughing at me? You know how I am like I'm not good with my emotions I'm not really that affectionate person But I feel like I really should be just for you because I feel like you really deserve that and I feel like you deserve The world and I feel like what I wrote really explains everything. So without further ado I'm just gonna say before I get too sappy and start tearing up. But yeah, this isn't nothing crazy But it is something that came from the heart. So Here we go. Can I get a drum roll, please? Thank you so much You look at me because I'm gonna be reading so I'm not gonna be nervous. Well, I am nervous, but I I love you. Yeah, I love you too. That's right. So here we go. Oh my god. I can't do this. I can't I can't do this I'm nervous. I'm nervous. All right. This is what I'm talking about. I'm not going to say a lot of stuff that you know, whoa, don't be looking. Don't be looking look guys. This is everything I Anyway, all right, here we go I would have never guessed that on October 16th 2015 my life would change forever You entering my life has changed me in so many ways. I'm more outgoing. I have more fun I laugh more I cry more but most importantly I feel loved I know I'm not the best when it comes to showing my emotions or be a being affectionate But you bring that side out of me. I grew up always thinking I couldn't trust anyone with my heart But I let that guard down just for you. It was one of the most terrifying feelings But it was a choice I have yet to regret You made me a better man than I think I could have ever been on my own You showed me the little things in life matter. You showed me life as in a sprint. It's a marathon Being with you made me realize there's so much more to life than just flashy things and money. I Feel you genuinely taught me how to love I know I need more time and I have to work to where I want to where I really want to get to where I want to be As far as when my emotions, but as long as you're by my side, I'm willing to give a mile I'm starting to choke up now because this is like this is a lot for me Every day I wake up next to you and I'm thanking the man above for blessing me with such a pure and beautiful Soul I could go on and on about everything that I love about you But there's simply not enough time in a day your smile the way you laugh are all pictures I play back in my head whenever I'm feeling down Nothing makes me happier than seeing you happy The way you do your hair getting your nails done looking sexy and anything you wear are all minimal things that add to the true beauty You naturally are There's times where you've caught me staring at you and you'd ask me if I were okay because it looked like I was About a cry and I tell you that you're seeing things or that I you on just as an excuse to hold my feelings in when in Reality, I'm just so grateful to call you mine We've had many bumps in the road and I feel as if social media painted the picture that we have a perfect relationship No relationship is perfect the disagreements and obstacles we face this far and still being able to overcome everything and love each other Stronger I feel made us an example of what the real definition of a perfect relationship is Janice I love you more than you will ever know. There's nothing in no one in this world that can change that I Just wanted you to know how I truly feel about you. I love you Don't cry. You're gonna make me cry. Stop Don't cry. You're gonna make me cry. See now. I'm tearing up Stop Why are you crying? Crying don't cry Babe, don't cry You're making me cry. Oh my god. I don't remember the last time I cried on camera. I love you more guys As you can see we don't like crying, but it happens That's something I'm trying to teach myself that it is okay to cry. It is okay to show emotions So This is I guess the roomie You guys have said in the past that you guys always wanted me to show my emotions more being more in tune with my emotions I really do try but it's a hard fight. Um But yeah, I feel like that needed to be said I love you too I don't ever cry. I don't remember the last time I cried But I swear I only cry when it comes to you and bloop Other than that, I don't cry for anyone else Why see you crying made me cry. I didn't want I was trying to be strong and not cry, but dammit it came out it's just because like you know life Like I mean you you already know but like they don't really know like how tough it is every day Especially for me and my mental health like to just keep pushing especially like with social media and things like that so like Oftentimes I get in my head about stuff And like I feel like I'm alone And that just has a lot to do with like my anxiety and stuff like that See, but I feel like I play a big part in that and that's why I get down to myself because I don't want you to feel alone But it's because I'm not in tune with my emotions and I'm not affectionate like I should be Um for deeper reasons, you know, they don't know but that's something I might share with them in the future I don't know but I feel like I get down to myself a lot because I need to be that person So you don't feel alone. So I get down to myself a lot and that's exactly why I mean, it's it's not your fault though It's just like how my mental is like set up I just always need like Someone to be like You good like Or because I'm so caught up in my brain and I'm just so like this is me all the time Like just thinking thinking thinking and I zone out and I'm just not here and like Just like stuff like that like you like making efforts to like Just tell me how much you love me or like anyone Like saying that I'm important to them like just It it shocks me a little bit And it makes me think like Like I'm actually like important You are though and that's why I always want you to feel I always want you to feel important I always want you to feel loved And again, I feel like I get down to myself a lot because I don't I feel like I don't fulfill that job The way that I should as a boyfriend. So I get down to myself a lot um But I'm trying and I feel like this is another like stepping stone to like me showing my emotions. So I love you too Did not expect this to get this Either I did not feel weird like this is like even gonna be on the internet Yeah, um, this is gonna be probably like the most raw video that you guys will see. Um I'm not gonna try to make two cuts. I want you guys to get like the raw footage You get the real feeling of like what's going on in this car right now, but Yeah, I mean that's pretty much it. That's that's what this video was about We're not vlogging so there's really nothing to vlog. We're hitting the gym and that's it oh, okay, so If you guys enjoyed today's video and you guys want to see more of my emotional side Comment down below give this video a big thumbs up That's how I'm gonna be able to I guess push myself to get even more Motivation to do the things that I have to do you guys push me a lot literally you guys know But yeah, I feel like at this point I'm just rambling So if you guys enjoyed today's video make sure you guys smash that thumbs up button I want to give the shout out today to you for being the best girl for never and Yeah, so I guess we'll see you guys in the next video the best boyfriend ever I love you. I love you. See you guys in the next video