 saying my connection is unstable could be because I'm uploading but got all my bars on my end so I'll see if this connects y'all forgive I'm trying to connect see if it'll it's saying that it's unstable over here on this end okay let me see here all right thank what it was my computer I was uploading a video or video file to the academy I just finished the life coaches masterminds so I got a group for certified life coaches where we have a mastermind group and we meet every month just to talk about tips and tools for the life coaching business and how to go to the next level so we got this you know the rest of this year left so we just finished that oh wife just ordered me some food she says coming to the office I'm thinking y'all for giving one second I don't unlock my office just since it's coming to the office sorry about that y'all for giving up here to the office and wife ordered me some food and just asked because she ordered me some I thought she knew I was coming home to get it but it's coming here so at least I'll be here to that happen one second want to pop on here and eat on the camera not when food yeah I got to go one pop on here because one thing that I want to remind y'all about because a lot of people we focusing right now so much on love and relationships and you know all my stuff is mostly love and relationships and I talk about business and stuff like that too but I'm mainly known for love and relationships but the thing about it is what I want you to think about is right now we're in a season of self meaning developing yourself whether you in a relationship or whether you are single we are in a season of developing yourself working on your three bees brain brand body if you in a relationship love gonna do what it do if you working on you the love gonna be great if you single love is going to get your attention when it's time but if you notice one of the things that the adversary is doing is the adversary is distracting a lot of people with love he's distracting people with love because he knows everybody wants love people who say they don't want love they just lie to themselves in that season because we're not created to be alone we all want love we all want companionship it just comes at a certain time but when you are distracted by it you become desperate or desolate or destitute and it steals from your purpose so although being with somebody and building with somebody and pushing the world forward pushing society for by being in relationship can be a part of your life and it can come into your life that's not your purpose your purpose is greater than that and your purpose is rooted in service and you can get out here and you can serve and you can work and you can be impactful and you can be purposeful and intentional in the world but if you just focused on love and you get so caught up on love because what happened is we start to get greedy so when I started doing this it had to be about purpose and that's why I still do it the way I do it because it is my purpose because when I started doing this as a relationship coach and talking on relationships there was no money involved there was no business model there was no way to get paid so I was given away the game for my mother and for my sister so that they could stop getting played there was no way to get paid there was no money in it so I started this 2007 my first real check which was $1500 came three years later so I was toiling and giving away the game and teaching on love and relationships for three years with no revenue it's about purpose but then once I built my brand and then once people started to see my brand grow and then once it started to look like money is involved now it became a means to make a living for so many other black men and even white men and so people started to talk about it but when I got started there was it was not a such thing being a relationship coach was not a thing as a man especially a black man it was not a single other one when I started in 2007 and but I was the first one to blow up because of Twitter and then flow from there it started to happen so now what you're seeing today is something that is pure which is love something that is pure something that is holy something that can help us has now become fodder for the adversary to use as a distraction so because now everybody wants to talk about relationships business podcast are talking about relationships weight loss podcast are talking about relationships science podcast talking about relationships entrepreneurship talking about relationship real estate people talking about relationships there's a guy who he was in business doing software and when I met him he had software for everybody everybody was using his software his membership software and he now I think they say he does insurance his most viral posts are relationship posts telling lies about how he treat his wife so amazingly and most viral posts so what happened is people who teaching on business people who teaching on real estate people who doing comedy now they doing relationships relationships is the hottest topic on the internet and I want you to pay attention to it when you see the comedians doing skits what are their skits about relationships it skits not about entrepreneurship in business it's about relationships so the relationships love is being milked now from every angle from everybody not just professionals who are called to teach on it nice everybody talking on it but what it's doing is what God mean for good the devil trying to turn it into evil but not at the same time with devil meant for evil God turning good so now where love should be wholesome and fulfilling fulfilling and encouraging we have millions of people crying over love we have millions of people that is going to bed hurting they hurting they hurting and they going to bed they crying they ruining their job they ruining their opportunities they ruining friendships because they are desperate for love they feeling down and out and what a lot of people don't realize is that 99% of what you see of couples online is not true 99% 99% is not true is not true and you know how I know it's not true because I'm married and it the best seasons where people just googling and googling and googling and ogling over me and my wife and we ready to be off with each other head so the fact that I know I'm a relationship coach and the fact that I know I had the war in the spirit in seasons of my relationship when people was just on the ground licking the ground oh I love y'all love I love y'all relationship and we all the bad weather the board paper for so well and guess what me being a coach I was able to I'm able to coach couples and so it's a lot of times I'm working with a couple but their social media would never show what they're going to they social media is a picture of them together so me doing the work that I do I don't believe nothing I see online only nothing I see online and say when you're honest and you're and you're honest person you got to express this one second wife order my food so she sent me a link where I could follow it you got to express this so I seen a gentleman who has a beautiful marriage from the outside looking in and he made a post and in the caption he said you know it took a lot of therapy it was a lot of rough days a lot of time and when he put that in that caption I say you know what they going through so much that he felt guilty about making this post and making it look perfect and pretty that his conscious as an honest man would not let him post this post like everything been peaches and cream so he put in there it's been hard it's been a lot of struggle and all of that right there he put that in there and so what he was trying to let people know is it ain't easy it ain't easy and then they wrote a book about it and here's the thing you have to make sure that you are not distracted by love you got to make sure that you are not depressed by love you got to make sure that what you and when I'm saying love I'm not just I'm talking about the idea of love I'm talking about the desire for love the pursuit of love I'm not talking about love itself because love itself is holy and pure love itself it don't it don't do no harm love itself is beneficial so a relationship can hurt you self hate can hurt you hate can hurt you love it's gonna bless you even if it's tough love and the truth hurts before it helps it don't hurt like that it's not it's kind of hurt that's to damage you is to hurt that help you to hurt that grows you the growing pains so what you have to realize is you got to make it ask yourself hey am I like a little depressed because of love whether what you in or what you want or what you come out of and am I losing my way you know what I realize is that love is actually one of the poorest motivators because do you know when a lot of people get in a bag when a lot of people get in a bag is after a breakup a lot of people get in a bag when they want a relationship or when they just came out of a relationship but when you get into a relationship that's why we call it marriage wait we call it love wait we call it relationship wait because when you get into that relationship you go into a place of complacency of comfort of safeness you feel safe you're in love you most people when they fall in love they stop focusing on their job they they stop focusing on their body and they get so caught up in that situation and then when one of us get made mad when we get mad that's when we back in our bag we at the gym every day we're doing everything right because I'm finna prove this point I'm finna prove this point and so that's what we have to realize is that love is in a relationship is one of the poorest motivators but today we being beat across the head with it and so what is the thing I can't stop talking about it because I'm called to it I had stopped talking about it because so many fakes and fraud started talking about love relationship I had shut up I had shut up and started talking about business and entrepreneurship but then my wife reminded me and God chastised me in my spirit and say listen you can't get tricked at your spot the adversary came to create this confusion and this noise knowing that because you're real and you're authentic that you're gonna feel like I don't want to be a part of this and you're gonna shut up but you can't do that because now you don't got tricked at your spot so you got to keep talking about it and eventually the people who ain't really supposed to be in it they're gonna get exposed or they gonna realize that it ain't no whole bunch of money just coming out your ears and you got how to favor God with what you doing and they just gonna shut up and quit and go back to multi-level marketing because they don't realize that you got to be passionate about this for the long haul either you gonna get exposed or you gonna you ain't gonna be making the money you think you want to make so we had to come to that realization and then I had to go back to my calling but what I want you to be mindful of is focus on you so even if you're in a relationship you're still independent remember you independent in a relationship you're interdependent but interdependent means that you could stand on your own two feet co-dependent you got to be carry some dependent you got to be carry co-dependent y'all got to just hold each other up y'all can't breathe without each other interdependent you can stand on your own two feet you still independent but you lean on and trust in your partner for their strengths and they lean on you for your strengths so you intertwine your interdependent but you still got to be about you meaning you still got to work on you and focus on you and be building you even if you're in relationship if you are single your complete focus needs to be on you because the way a relationship a healthy relationship and real love works is it's gonna jump in front of you and it's going to get your attention and it's gonna find you when you least expect it and it's gonna be everything you need it to be and that's what you got to understand about real love so you got to be about yours you got to be a about your your bag you got to be making moves doing what you call to do and then when it is time you're going to meet the person that is for you so I want you to understand that it's time that you lock in and that you're working and focusing on you so plan your tomorrow's today write out the top three things that you need to get done tomorrow and when you have your day planner and you go into your notebook you need to write out every single day non negotiables so you're not negotiable one of your non negotiables may be time with the Lord whether that's five minutes or whether it's 15 minutes or whether it's 50 minutes to depend on who you are where you are and what you what you doing what you building how you doing it it's gonna be different for each person but time with the Lord may be a non negotiable another non negotiable need to be working out so 30 minutes a day if you walk 30 minutes a day you would have done something if you could do more do more another non negotiable need to be feeding your mind so you watching something like this or you reading a book or you listening to a podcast something that's going to edify you something that's going to teach you something that's going to push you something that's going to bless you that's what you getting in your spirit and then what you're going to do is you also another forgive me I'm looking at my over each order trying to see when it's going to be here on about a sneak up on I'll be done shot somebody on accident and the next thing you want to do is your other non negotiable you want to invest in you we was on the call last night on the broke club and one of the young ladies she was like you know I'm kind of torn because of capitalism I'm working in his job I'm working for the government and I love my job it's kind of it's purposeful but I'm torn about being an entrepreneur and capitalism and I had to express to her entrepreneurs when you quit your job you don't have to quit your job to invest in you to build something that you can't be fired from you don't have to quit your job to tap into your gifts and your purpose or your talents so when you time with the Lord working out feeding your mind and then investing in your business meaning if that's writing your book if that's coming up with your outline for your company so if you want to serve in the community and you want to work with the youth well in your free time I mean every day you need to take 20 30 minutes and you need to be writing out the next level of that business so you need the business name then you need a logo idea you need the logo colors you need the slogan you need your mission statement you need your vision statement you need your board the people you want on your team on your board you need your bylaws now you need your website copy the home page the services or programs page the about us page or meet the team page so every day you write another part of the business plan now then you go into your hiring how do you choose your volunteers how do you choose your employees what's your policies and procedures how long is your training what's the probationary period what's the reprimand stages when you let somebody go then you go on into your programs what's your first program young queens young kings champions program name program description what you're doing what you're reading what you're studying what outings you're doing what they're being fed what hours are they there so you land out the program after you got that the program then you come up with your second program and your third program then you're going to come up with your fundraising ideas you're doing a foot of fish fry you're doing a bake sale you come up with your list of people that you know will give you ten dollars or more now you craft the text message that you're going to send to those people or you write the paragraph spiel that you're going to say to them on the phone and so when you do this now everything laid out that's your self-investment so when you so locked in and you so focused you start to be inspired and you can't wait till the next moment that you could get back to your journal get back to your notepad get back to your date planner get back to your computer and now you back there you you're working so now when somebody show up in your life in order for you to give them some of your attention to give them some of your time because you so into what you're doing they got to really be on something they got to really be hitting on something they got to really be talking right to say okay i'ma add you to my priority list so outside of my time with god outside of my working out outside of my feed my brain and outside of working on my business idea then you come in fifth but not if you got kids or or you taking care of a parent then they in their fifth and then that that person you meet not a sixth so when they six say the person was here then say they two minutes away might be them blasting their music so now they in their sixth and this your priority list so as you moving through this you can't be distracted if you in a relationship turn up your grind because when we get in relationship we start to put on weight we put on weight we get lazy we eat bad we get complacent rarely do we see a couple oh let me see what y'all give me one second to tell you when you get married now make sure you why don't order you some food while you're working so now listen to me if you in a relationship it's time for us to turn it up so right now what i'm telling myself i say listen i'm married i've been married 16 years but i'm about to become the sexist man a lie i'm finna get my eight pack of alps i'm finna fly over here to turkey and get me a halal put on and get me the eight pack of alps i'm finna go up here to the dentist to get the crown put on this bike tooth i'm finna get me this skin care bike right get this skin going and popping finna be working out every day finna be building my business i'm finna make some million dollar moves i'm finna try to become the sexist man alive so to sit around here drain that cone yike and let that stomach hang underwells and shorts flip down because i got that stomach hanging and so listen whatever you at single dating relationship engage married it's time to go into a season of you season on me the way you focus on your grind you building you growing and you working on you hey god bless y'all i'm gonna be here too too um too late got to go last night i was on here two three hours so the night ain't got it in me and i'm over here welcome to the new members portion diane so anytime i get the opportunity to pop it on here and go and live for the bless try i'm considering a couple other little options that's people been coming to me about like my own little network own little streaming service and things of that nature so if i make a decision to do something like that we're going to be moving the bless tribe off of youtube because all that ain't got going on um the code for the discount for the 90% off is nine zero is nine zero and i didn't need whatever you heard me say was a code that i said the code right there with i had to listen back to that and i think i'm gonna here working on it on the castles academy see i got to go because i don't like to eat cold food my food gotta have a little heat on it i got no microwave in here but i got steak on me here on steak and see let me tell you now i got a call wife to tell her i'm like listen now i told you i'm on keto right now meat and vegetable why you got these mashed potatoes in here tempting me so now you know all these mashed potatoes i got to eat these mashed potatoes because i can't if people you know hungry i can't let this food go the way is now i got to eat these mashed potatoes now you throwing all my fitness goals i told y'all was doing keto for a week come on now so i got to call and talk to him why even get on about this line you use a teammate or a opponent you're putting this start to on my stomach now so listen it's time for us to get right and go into a season you need to get as fine or as sexy or as beautiful or as handsome or as devonair whatever word you want to call as you possibly could be in every area mind body soul spirit brain brand body every area possible you need to turn it up and go to the next level so listen to me now it's that time it's that time and stop being distracted stop being distracted by the shining object mask you i'm gonna tell you something if you listening to a podcast and it's making you mad don't listen to it no more if you watching a tv show and it's messing up your sleep don't watch it no more anything you got going on that is not feeding you and edifying you and pushing you to the next level and why got me asparagus the pfnb so stank well i mean you just look at asparagus your pb stank i'm like all right listen to what is in this stuff i'm not to one bite p smell like outhouse hey god blessing and we will talk soon y'all take care oh also we're gonna be opening up soon the in person i sent an email in person the coaching office for the in person coaching i send an email a lot to you know the the academy people that's on the mailing list and stuff like that and um we'll get that set up here soon god bless y'all we will talk soon remember the q-part code for 90% off is nine zero don't ask a while doing it you're just we're in a recession right now so i get tired of people asking me for a payment plan on a $10 course so i'm like listen i'm just gonna get 90% off because if i get asked about one more payment plan like listen i'm not no bill collector and you don't want me trying to collect bills because i'm gonna be at that house knocking on the door with a barrel of gun hey listen you came on here and stole this course i'm gonna eat that money up off of you before i go right and cut these lights off and so listen instead of doing payment plans i just rather give you 90% off i know we're in a recession trying to take your life to the next level just click on the course then click on apply coupon code put nine zero hit apply you're gonna see the price come off it does not apply to the life code certification because it's already discounted it don't apply to the coach's mastermind and it don't apply to the growth club other than those three things or the one-on-one the personal branding one-on-one it don't apply to that other than those four courses the other 60 plus courses it'll apply to god bless you we'll talk soon