 Kathy and Elliot Lewis on stage Appearing each week in their own theater Starring in a repertory of trans broad stories of their own and you are choosing radio's foremost players in radio's foremost plays Ladies and gentlemen Elliot Lewis Good evening. May I present my wife Kathy? Good evening during this series on stage We haven't done a classic until tonight. We've done a Henry James story a novel by Leonard Merrick East Lynn and our American cousin, but we haven't done what we've all learned to consider a classic until tonight Until tonight because tonight you are going to hear Candid or the optimist by Voltaire And that's a real honest of goodness classic and to tell you the story we have a guest His name is Larry Thor so first Fred Steiner and then Larry Thor to tell you the story of Candid It happened a long time ago in Germany in the castle of Baron Thundertun Trunk lived the youth in Dalver the most gentle character He was honest by instinct and very simple-minded which accounted for his being named Candid The Baron was very rich and powerful. The Baroness weighed 350 pounds and therefore was very respected The Baron's daughter Cunagone was young well-formed and very beautiful It was only natural for Candid to fall in love with Mademoiselle Cunagone But because of his character, he was never bold enough to tell her so The most intelligent person in the castle was Dr. Pengloss the cutie Candid listened to his teachings with reverence and respect Everything is made for an end Since this is the best of all possible worlds everything is made for the best end Is that clear Mademoiselle Cunagone? Yes, Dr. Pengloss very clear. Is it clear, Candid? It's stupid of me, but not exactly sir. We're then observed Noses were made to wear spectacles Legs obviously need clothing so we have britches and as pigs were made to be eaten We have pork all year round Consequently those who say all is well talk nonsense. What they should say is all for the best Now do you see? Yes, it's all clear now sir. Thank you Candid was happy and in his innocent way considered himself extremely fortunate He had a roof over his head He could see Mademoiselle Cunagone every day and he was taught by Dr. Pengloss the greatest philosopher in the province and Therefore the whole world But it was not to last One day Cunagone was walking in the garden Lovely day. It's good to be alive She felt very aware and for the first time in her life noticed the birds and the bees How lovely they are. I wonder what attracts them to the flowers It's scientific I suppose Candid might know I'll ask him After supper Cunagone found herself alone with Candid Candid yes, Mademoiselle Cunagone You wish to speak to me. Yes, I Well, you see I you dropped your handkerchief. You may pick it up if you like Thank you You may kiss my hand if you like Cunagone You kiss my hand just like a bird at a flower do it again Cunagone You may kiss me on the lips, too Cunagone My Lord the Baron I Was just asking Candid a question father. Get all innocence my Lord. I was just please my Lord I was only Please don't throw me out. I beg of you. Oh Cunagone. I Am parted from you expelled from paradise What will become of me? Candid picked himself up and started walking He wandered aimlessly until the next morning shivering and panilless he came to an end Two soldiers dressed in blue noticed him and asked him to have something to eat gentlemen I'm honored, but I have no money to pay our sir persons of your merit never pay anything Are you not a well-built young man over five feet tall five feet ten perfect? We'd never let a man like you be short of money Men were made to help each other. Yes, that is what dr. Pangloss was always telling me I see that everything is for the best of course Tell me do you love? Oh, yes? I love mademoiselle Cunagone. No, no Oh, what I mean is do you love the king of the Bulgarian? Not a bit. I've never seen him Why he's the most charming of kings you must drink his health. Oh gladly That's enough bring out the leg irons corporal What what are you doing? You are now the defender the hero of the Bulgarians You are now in the army with your fortune and glory assured attention Mom two soldiers took can lead to a regiment. He was taught to drill To shoot and given 30 strokes with a stick the next day. He did better And was given only 20 strokes on the third day The king of the Bulgarians went to war with the king of the avarice Couldn't quite understand how he happened to be in the middle of it. So he decided to go elsewhere He left the war and headed for Holland where he arrived starving in ranks a Kind merchant observing the plight of a fellow creature took him in cleaned him up and fed him Even offered to teach him how to make Persian jewelry which is made in Holland a month later He met a beggar covered with sores and dirt Just a penny. Here you are my good man. Thank you, sir Weak it can't be Candid. Yes, that is my name. Don't you recognize me? Dr. Pangloss you my dear master in this horrible state. What happened to tragedy my boy Exhaust and physical tragedy. In fact your face is the first happy sight I've seen since the castle was destroyed the castle destroyed The Bulgarians came not a stone left standing and even a chicken left alive and Mademoiselle tunigón tunigón The pearl of young ladies that masterpiece of nature She's dead dead the speed by one of the soldiers They broke the Baron's head when he tried to defend her sliced up the Baroness and skewered the Baron's son tunigón dead Best of all worlds. Where are you? They left me alone only because I have the pox No one will have anything to do with me. Oh, I'm almost dead myself not when we've just found each other You must be cured. Can I I haven't a suit I will take you to my benefactor a good kind merchant and tell him everything He cannot help but have compassion for you as he did for me such people still exist I can't believe it come. I will show you Within the hour dr. Pangloss learned one such person did exist The good kind merchant paid for a cure out of his own pocket Dr. Pangloss explained to Candid how these amazing events proved his philosophy if I had not had the pox The soldiers would have killed me Never been begging on the streets where you found me which resulted in my cure. Now therefore if one catches the pox It can only be for the best some weeks later The merchant found it necessary to go to Lisbon on business and took his two philosophers with him Just as they stepped off the boat the earth began to tremble under their feet a Tidal wave smashed all the ships And the houses crashed in the streets look out And lost our Benefactor completely buried under that house, but why how can it be for the best there was not another man like him It can only be that he was just too good to live He will never be tempted to do a wrong thing. So he will remain good forever Not many of us are that fortunate Come we must search for food This seems to be a light over there Hello, have you any food? This way gentlemen, we thank you very kindly Ah Compliment to the city officials Terrible disaster. Yes. Our benefactor was killed almost immediately. Oh my sympathy This horror can only be the work of the devil Something must be done the survivors are in an ugly mood if they understood philosophy it be clear to them that all this is for the best Dr. Pangloss is the greatest philosopher in the world sir. I am his disciple Then you must be strangers to our city you don't believe our desire to be evil vague in your excellencies pardon, but Not in this case It is impossible for things not to happen where they do Therefore all happen must be accepted for the best. Uh-huh But then you wouldn't agree that a public hanging is the only preventative for earthquakes Public hanging with all the thrills and ceremony of course I don't quite see how it would serve any purpose except to take the people's minds off their own misery for a while Precisely especially if those who are hanged happen to be strangers. Oh, no local importance Your planning such a spectacle precisely when would it take place almost immediately gods? In almost no time Candide and Pangloss were shackled together and marched outside a Procession was formed with a few musicians at the head and they marched off to the public square A gibbet had already been erected and the waking crowd greeted the strangers warm It was all according to custom and very colorful. I can't believe this is happening. It must be a bad dream Farewell Pangloss it was pure providence the crowd panicked and ran Candide was struck by some falling stones and terrified bewildered and bleeding he crawled away What old woman, what is it my son follow me? I'm too weak and lean on me. Who are you? Why are you so kind just come along and don't speak a word? Quite well, I had to guess at the size Please tell me whose house am I in who has inspired you with so much kindness now that you're presentable You shall see Unigun It's impossible this time. I am dreaming It is I but Pangloss assured me that you had been feared Yes, but a spearing is not always fatal. It's a miracle Tell me when the soldiers came to the castle one of them found me and took me as his prisoner I did his shirts and cooking Then he lost all his money and got tired of me and I was sold to a marriage broker who brought me here How terrible for you one day the chief official of the city noticed me and asked for my hand. You're married No Since the marriage broker has gone to some expense to show me off. They're still bargaining Thank heaven. Thank heaven But how did you find me the chief official invited me to the ceremony? I had an excellent seat When I saw that you and dr. Pangloss were the strangers. I couldn't believe it When our teacher was yes terrible Dear sweet canton My heavens It's the chief official While I bargain for your hand. This is what goes on behind my back. Is it don't move you scum flea candied run Stand behind me cunagond. Oh, so you think you're gonna fight? Always so mild my dear cunagond When a man is in love jealous and almost been hung to prevent earthquakes There is a tendency to lose one's temper But he is the chief official if the police come we're lost if you don't mind my suggesting There are three horses in the stable. We could ride to the nearest seaport and take ship for another country. That's wonderful We'd better hurry They rode 30 miles to the nearest seaport and found a ship that was leaving for the new world Soldiers were needed for one of the garrisons in south america So candied went through the bulgarian drill for the general and was made a captain on the spot The three went on board and the ship sailed We are going to a new world my cunagond I look forward to it for one might lament a little over the happenings in our own world I was beginning to believe pan gloss lied to us when he said everything is for the best It must be the new one that is the best of all possible world You are listening to kathy and elliot lewis on stage tonight's play can be Tonight making radio history cbs radio presents the broadcast direct from the nation's capital President white d eisenhower will be heard addressing his news conference in washington dc With cbs radio's white house correspondent george herman introducing this historic special event To make this presidential news conference broadcast possible CBS radio has canceled tonight's episode of rogers of the gazette starting will rogers jr The voyage to the new world was without incident or miss The sea air was very invigorating and candied cunagond and the old woman landed in south america much refreshed Following the custom they went to call on the royal governor don fernando ifigaroa e lamporda susan A man with an appreciation for the finer things in life Including women charming. Oh, yes mademoiselle. What was it mademoiselle cunagond your excellency cunagond Yes, indeed married Mademoiselle cunagond has done me the honor of accepting my proposal your excellency It would be a double honor to have you present at the wedding. Yes, you're a captain aren't you young man? I have some troops outside. How would you like to inspect them? I'd be very happy to your excellency this afternoon Now you go out that door there that door. Yes, sir Thank you, sir mademoiselle Your excellency for some reason I find myself very interested in your welfare You are sir a woman of your charm and perfection most certainly should be married But not to a captain my dear what you need is a man of position who can do things for you Yes, your excellency, but you see uh, uh, uh, it isn't polite to interrupt governors Excuse me. Yes, fortunately for you. I am unmarried at the present time and for your benefit I'm willing to marry you myself That's very kind of you Could I be allowed a few moments to discuss your considerations for me with the old woman who came with us Of course, I wouldn't think of rushing you take all the time you like 15 minutes Unidon went quickly to the old woman and started to tell her the governor's kindness The old woman could hardly wait for her to finish Excellent mademoiselle. It shows a very awkward situation of which I have just learned We have been followed here to the new world followed by the authorities their ship just arrived They are looking for the persons responsible for the death of the chief official good heavens Then we must all please there is no need with the governor in love with you He's the most powerful man in south america. They wouldn't dare touch you but candied the governor won't save him I must run and warn him quickly your 15 minutes are almost up You run back to the governor. I will warn captain candied the old woman ran to candied and warned him It was not a moment to lose candied rushed to find his man-servant who had been hired just before they left europe His name was cacombo and he was just a man for such an occasion Experienced well traveled and he loved his master because he knew candied to be a good man Where are you taking me? Where are we going through the back country? They are shooting ride master ride And he had never ridden so fast in his life. They flew until the road came to an end in the jungle The horses collapsed of fatigue. So they went on foot living on wild fruit Wandering deeper and deeper until they came to a little river There they built a canoe Then they drifted watching the river get wider and wider Finally it disappeared under an arch of towering rocks When they saw daylight again, they were in a country surrounded by giant mountains It was very beautiful Candied and cacombo landed at the first village where they saw some children at play What are those children playing with those red green and yellow stones that sparkle so here are some on the ground master Look gold emeralds rubies all over the place This country is much better than west failure But where are we? What country can this be? There is a house Maybe there is someone who can tell us It was one of the planar houses The paneling was only gold started with rubies but done with taste which atone for the simplicity An old man welcomed them and began to talk. This kingdom is the ancient country of the incas Since we are surrounded by impossible mountains. We know little of the outside world That is why we live so simply. Well, yes, that's very understandable, sir The spaniards have a vague knowledge of us They call our country El Dorado. I believe it means place of great wealth Ridiculous isn't it very simple life is the best That's why we are all very happy We have no jails because there is nothing to steal No mad people because there is nothing to drive us crazy. So you see we are no different than anyone else I hope I'm not boring you. Oh no, sir. Please go on When they had finished their conversation the old man made arrangements for the two travelers to be received at court A carriage arrived drawn by six red sheets. They all got in and rolled off to the capital The city was magnificent Everything was beautiful and useful and every one smiled The king greeted them with hospitality beyond belief At the end of a month Candide had a talk with Cacombo They sat by a pool of 20-year-old brandy and dropped diamonds into it watching the circles they made Cacombo. Yes master This is all very pleasant, but Cunagand is not here Isn't there someone you love? There's a girl in Europe If we return to our own world with only six sheep laden with these pebbles We'd be richer than all the kings put together We'd have nothing to fear. Yes. I never thought of that and we could easily regain mademoiselle Cunagand Then let's do it. Let us go ask the old man to ask the king if we may go There were no laws against foreigners leaving and the king agreed to give them the sheep loaded with pebbles and yellow mud They could not go out the way they came in so the scientists were ordered to invent a machine to carry them over the mountains It was a hard journey and four sheep were lost with their heavy burdens Even so they still had plenty when they got to the nearest town There is the town master We are at the end of our troubles and the beginning of happiness This is what you must do since I am still wanted for killing the chief official in self-defense. Yes master You are more clever than I so you go to the governor We each have five or six millions in diamonds offer him a million for Cunagand If he is obstinate too, I will take ship for venice. There's nothing to fear there I will wait for you to bring cunagand. That is an excellent plan. We will part here I trust you cacombo. Do not fear master. I will join you in venice Cundead sold a few el Dorado pebbles and bought a ship to take him to venice On the way they were attacked by pirates and all of his treasure except a handful of diamonds was lost At last he arrived in venice and spent every day waiting at the docks Three months went by And one night while candied was having his dinner A man with a face of soot came up from behind and leaned down Get ready to come with us. Do not fail. What? Cacombo Where is cunagand? Take me to her Cunagand is not here. She is in Constantinople. Constantinople? Does she still love me? How is she? She is the slave of a prince master. She works in his kitchen And she has lost her beauty beautiful or ugly. I shall always love her But how did this happen? You had six millions. Ah, what did I not give to the governor? And a pirate ship stripped me of the rest His pirates sold cunagand and the old woman to the prince And me I am the slave of a dethroned sultan What a chain of calamity But I have a few diamonds left. I will buy you boasts Candied paid a high ransom for cacombo and they went on board a Turkish galley As they went toward Constantinople one of the galley slaves caught candied's eye If I hadn't seen him hanged, I'd swear that was pangloss Candied! It is pangloss! My dear teacher, but I saw you hanged. The rope was wet, my boy. It wasn't a good job of hanging I've been through worse since I became a galley slave. I will ransom you immediately. What fortune to find you We are going to get cunagand too, dear pangloss. She's alive After ransoming pangloss there was just enough left to buy cunagand and the old woman from the face Cunagand was indeed quite ugly In fact, candied could hardly look But since he was a man of honor And they all settled down on a little farm bought with the last diamond It is natural to suppose they all lived happily ever after But cunagand grew uglier every day The old woman was ailing and bad tempered cacombo complained of being worked too hard And pangloss claimed he should be teaching in a university My boy, all events are linked up for the best Please pangloss, we've got to work our field Yes, but don't you realize if you had not been kicked out of the castle Almost hung to prevent earthquakes and had not traveled to the new world and found eldorado We would not be eating candied kitchen Yes, june I have learned we must work to make this the best of all possible worlds Let us grow something good in our fields Candied starring kathy and elliott louis on stage In a moment mr. And mrs. louis will tell you about next week's play The graves family is having grandmother for christmas But it's a surprise to them until tomorrow night when granny shows up on cbs radio's jr. Miss starring barbara whiting Also tomorrow evening over most of these same stations. There's pre christmas buffoonery when you meet milley Elayna verdugo and the rest of the milley gang will be doing their christmas show stopping early tomorrow night at the star's address And now once again kathy and elliott louis That was richard chandley's free translation of voltair's Candied or the optimist larry sore told you the story which included sage advice from pangloss Who was howard mcnear candied got into the army when he had a drink with a soldier who was jack crucian His troubles multiplied when he met an official who was ben right and he found his love again through the old woman Who was martha wentworth trouble reappeared when he met the governor of eldorado who was edgar barrier But his good bright hand kakambo stayed with him until the end and was byron kane We're very grateful to them all next week at this time There's a special holiday show here on cbs radio We'll be back two weeks from tonight and two weeks from tonight at being that time of the year We're going to have ray noble as our guest again, and we're going to do our happy holidays album for you until happy holidays Thank you for listening. Good night. Good night by fred steiner The kathy and elliott theme is by ray noble and the program is transcribed and directed by mr. louis george wall speaking weekday evenings viola cooks up comedy on the cbs radio network