 Hey, Tony Gaston here. Let me know if you could hear me. Can you hear me? Cuz I got my little mic plugged in, but it's telling me that Telling me that you can't hear me. Oh, you know what? I forgot to tell the bless tribe That I was going live same time without getting cut off But I forgot the post on the okay, that's good. You can hear me my Wi-Fi acting up on me. So y'all got to forgive me Why you got too many routers or something but I popped on here to do a Q&A today For those of you in the bless tribe as you as you know I try to do Q&A's for you for being a member of the channel and I greatly appreciate you being a member of the channel In that way, so I try to pop on here when I can but it's been a little you know running around with the family enjoying the summer so Don't always get to hop on here And I was on here yesterday, but it was kind of you know, I think it was middle of the day So if you remember put the hashtag Q in front of your question so I can try to identify it a little easier And that'll help me out talking to a man that has some non-negotiable habits. He's trying to break for me I'm guessing that means smoking that little cloud at the end And that's a tough one to be honest with you like me personally I really wouldn't be able to go up against somebody's addictions Especially something that they trying to do for me It would have to be something that they doing for themselves It would have to be something that they doing because they see the health benefits and making those changes because If somebody changing for you then and it's not really themselves With it like you can be the influence, but a person really has to want to change So, you know, that's the gamble is it's 50 50 gambles. So you got to be careful with that one Let me see during no contact. Do I still check on them if they have a sickly loved one? No, you don't if you're in no contact that mean no contact because any contact is contact So any contact could give a person that high could give a person that feeling that they need to feel like You're still there and you're still accessible. And so no contact. It's a It's a tough thing to do when you really trying to You know, send a message He cuss is not a smoker. I don't cuss or drink. Oh Well cursing that's not a big deal. That's that's not the end of the world, you know, that's That's nothing I thought you was talking about like he smoke or something since you put that little puff at the end but cursing that's You know, that's a personal choice, but it's not necessarily gonna change the quality of your life in a in a huge way You know, it's 99% of people curse so, you know, I don't curse and but um And that shouldn't be that hard especially if he has, you know, a functioning brain Where he can say what he's getting ready to say In his head before he says it out his mouth. It shouldn't be a hard thing to stop cursing That's not that's not an addiction. So yeah, that's very My name Hey Tony, thanks so much for all you do I'm currently working on myself mentally and emotionally Do you have any tips on ways to get myself together before a relationship? Everything we do here basically plays into that. So doing what you're doing, you know, it's nothing magical Just doing the work, you know, read the books Take the courses watch the videos do the coaching sessions the therapy sessions It's it's nothing magical. It's really just Showing up and doing the work and if you do the work then the results are going to speak for themselves Four years together. No talk of marriage and I've been with him literally through sickness and health. I have I feel like he is taking me for granted at this point And you will feel right you you're feeling right in four years That's what I call career dating once you've been with somebody more than three years and y'all still aren't married It's it's typically not a good sign unless there's some, you know Circumstances that prevents marriage, which there are exceptions to the rule but on average A man if he's 25 or older should have married you within three years Um, join the blessed business tribe, but don't have access to videos You may have to log out and log back in like log out of your account Um and log back in so that it refreshes that you actually a member But I don't work in customer service on that end because that's ran by google And so I really honestly don't fully understand it myself I do know it's working because it's people who see the videos and comment on the videos, but Y'all have to you know, click on the the service or the help button on youtube and send a You know email in to them so that they can help you because About that cold Peace for three months Turn late I mean you could talk to him But um, you know, just be careful Careful, it's sure you talking to him and y'all can talk on ig if you could talk on what's up If it's there other ways to talk talking is cool You know, it's a lot of scans. There's a lot going Ex or past a minute. He wasn't ready To change or heal from absent Past trauma. So I moved on why does after one year he jumps through loops for contact Grocery events, etc Well, um What that means is he went into the real world and he saw that it wasn't as sweet as he thought it would You know, he thought that there would be some upgrades out there and realized that it weren't it wasn't any upgrades It was down grace. And so now he's circling back. It's what I call the black book syndrome When a lot of time we try to move forward and it's not going the way we expected So we come back y'all have to forgive him a face glow and I did my three-step routine and why it got me it got me on this hill. Um So it looked like my face shine, but that's uh It's a kind of ointment and moisturize or something Gina god bless you how to confront boyfriend after following and liking models on social media without sounding controlling well It could sound how it's gonna sound, but you can't worry about how it's gonna sound that that's just a conversation that has to be had You can't get caught up in how it sounds. You just got to be able to say hey look, you know I was looking at checking out your social media and I noticed that you know, you liking and you following these people and it feels inappropriate because That's your eye gating when you looking and you looking upon these women. That's like that's lusting And so now you lusting and I want to ask you to put the shoe on the other foot and ask yourself You know, how would you feel if I was doing the same thing? And then see how that See what he says Unless it's cool for god bless you god bless you. I really appreciate that. That's that right does You bless Maria bless you bless you bless you While coach just in complete gratitude tithing offering may you and your stay blessed. Thank you as all as always for all you do Bless you Maria. I really appreciate that Question divorce with four kids desire to get remarried in the future desire a godly man and to not date The world's way is that going to be hard? Yes, it's gonna be hard Yeah, it's gonna be hard But if you trust god, then you know god could do What's hard, you know, that's that's come down to faith. It's really nothing Worth doing in life. That's not gonna be hard. So I'll be lying to you if I said, oh, yeah Oh, no, that's gonna be easy. That's gonna be a walk in the park You can just step out there with them four kids and Just finna be just amazing and easy I'll be lying to you. It's it's we live in a world where You know men and women are becoming lovers of themselves And losing theyself and it's just a lot going on Can you also do a video on guys sending mixed signals? I'm pretty sure I have a video on that But it probably might not be titled that So it's kind of a thing to where as you continue to watch the videos and go through them You'll bump into those lessons He he was constantly Calling in the beginning then it cut down when I mentioned He said he's busy has his own company. He's working towards Said if I'm not happy I should cut him out But he does want me So basically what he's saying is listen I've been listening to these podcasts online and to these youtube videos I'm the prize going about your business if you can't if you ain't happy with a little bit of time and attention I'm giving you Then going about your business that's essentially what he's saying to you And so you have to look at it and see if what you're asking for is fair if it's legitimate And if that's the case then you can't compromise that you got to go about your business And so It's coming to a time right now to where a lot of men they just basically saying listen this all I'm gonna give you you know Shut up and deal with it or Find somebody else a lot of men taking that approach and you just got to be able to show him Okay, you know I'm about that life. I'm out of here Blended family hubby wants to take my three-year-old Son for one month to bond alone. He did this with his current three kids because him and ex-wife were separated How else can hubby bond with young step child? He could bond In front of you, you know, he could bond y'all going because what do you need to bond alone for like you're not You're not in the way like that's your child You know, that's your child and That Y'all together can go putt putt golf skating bowling But you know, this your husband, but that's not his child And being that that's not his child Me personally, I can't trust a man around a child That's not his because there's so many men that can't even be trusted with their own kids And that's just me being a man and me having two boys And me knowing the man that I was when my first was born That I couldn't even I didn't feel comfortable with my son alone just off of my emotional intelligence And just if he crying a whole lot or you know, if he just Going through whatever colleague or whatever it may be and not even if your boy older It just it still is so much That go on that you can't really accuse him and say listen It's a lot of you know, such and such that's going on and not to say I don't trust you but In so many words, you just got to say listen, you know, he he's still My son still developing he's still growing like he's gonna get to know you he'll feel comfortable But as his mom, I wouldn't feel comfortable sending him off With his own dad, you know for a month Because you know, I just I have to be there to protect him And make sure that everything good. And so y'all welcome to You know, we go to the movie We you know, if you want to go take them to a baseball game the basketball game And y'all shoot to the game watch the game and come on back But I say that because the stuff I see on my end the emails that I'm reading on my end I wouldn't be able to do it Britain god bless your ex has a new girlfriend. They are on vacay together. He's sending me pics of him out Said he's going alone. We haven't talked regularly in months. Why? I um, I really can't tell you I really can't tell you, you know, when when it come to You know general men questions It's a little easier but on things like that, it's just it comes down to the individual, you know It just depends on that individual But in general If if he's just the everyday average man Then a man does that just to Just to soothe his soul time And what I mean by that is When you with somebody you get a release from the interaction with that person And your brain gets used to those dopamine hits and you get used to that interaction So now when you're not with that person You start to miss their laugh miss their their cry miss their their touch miss their company And so you want to interact with the person Because it gives you that high gives you that hit that you miss that your brain was so accustomed to getting and so and that's what we've kind of Somebody called a soul time. That's what's been spread around. So that's typically that's all it is when a man Mouth doing one thing but his actions doing another That's when you you can't really Trust anything that's coming out his mouth Lilliana god bless you my boyfriend My boyfriend who is a girl? Who is a girl? told him He liked him And he told her he have a girlfriend, but she called him Every day and they both attend the same church what to do I'm assuming it's a Typo in here somewhere um, but I'm assuming it's a typo in there somewhere Lilliana but um You definitely gonna have to Shut that all the way down. That's gonna have to be shut all the way down when you when you're in a relationship Your partner you or your partner cannot have friends of the opposite sex Especially when those people have express feelings or you've expressed feelings Because humans are created to relate to connect like we come together and that's the the goal in the mind Is to connect and so you you plan with fire when you allow You know, you're a partner to have friends of the opposite sex Um, for those of y'all new to the bless try, you know try to keep just questions in the comments You know this, you know, we try to It's so many questions coming in here that if you put comments in there It kind of make it harder for me to see it So just try to keep questions in the comments if you don't have a question then, you know, just watching You know listen support But um, and I try to catch as many as I can so when I miss it Be paying attention and you could post it back in there again copy and paste it Hey, Tony, I just got out of a three-year relationship I'm 21 just graduated with a bachelor's in nursing In therapy hired a life coach. I want to attract love Someday but not ready. No rush, right? God bless a blessing. You're right. I don't know if that was a little question But yeah, you're right. Keep doing what you're doing We have been dating five months consistently calls dates showing up and showing out and giving me his time I asked him are we getting married? He said we may as well. What does that mean? Well, I tell you what latina you show don't hold back I don't know where you would raise that but that's not really a question you supposed to ask a man You know, especially at the five month mark, you know, are we getting married? Like that's kind of something you want to Wait to see how the man kind of moving and if he You know asks you to be his girlfriend first and then you know moving towards that and really You know if five months, you don't even know a person, you know, you really don't know a person to that 12 13 month mark you know, so before that That's all that's all play play like a relationship can start go great and end at a six month mark and We shouldn't even count that on on the relationship resume like it shouldn't even go on the resume You know if it was under a year really because that's just a normal dating process So y'all still really early and that's real early for that question coming from you You know the man is the one who gets on one knee and proposes So that's something that you leave to the man to You know initiate that otherwise, you know, it'll feel like that You coercing him Finals keep shining Rob John. God bless you um You know, I like both of the teams and I don't really I spoke to the rookie class of Guys on the bucks and I spoke to the rookie class of guys on the suns. So in cases like that, I tried not to pick a Pick a side. I just you know made a best man win but um But it would be kind of cool to see cp3 get him a get him a ring make sure I'm missed some of these now How do I handle my kids? grandfather Kids grandfather who hit on me with nasty words and always asking me Comparison questions about Him and his son also tries to keep me on call long Hours say don't tell his son things Well, since you know, and you shouldn't even be entertaining him You know, if that's the case it especially on the phone long hours You know, you shouldn't even be entertaining him. So that's something that you got to shut down, you know, you got to Your kids really don't need a grandfather like that You know sound like the granddaddy nasty and you don't know if he in cahoots with son See if you keeping secrets the son putting them up to it Let's say a try see what she says see what she do see if I could trust her Men do that all the time get together and cahoots to test a woman And so a lot of times where a woman may be keeping a secret for this one man She don't even know the other man sent him this the test her in that way And so you got to be careful with that. You got to cut that all the way cut that all the way off You know it when it comes to stuff like that it really ain't no Decent way to handle it. It just you got to do what got to be done and let him take it how you're gonna take it Concerned about My sister has been using dating apps, but no luck. I try to help God bless you said You know, we try I really you know I answer your question, but if your sister's not here, you know spending the time and Seeking the knowledge it don't do her no good or us no good, you know talking on that so If you got a question on you, I love to help I asked child's father where he's taking son when he picks him up And check in on son. He says if I keep asking questions, he won't pick up son again Son has speech delay. So always worried about Who he has around him Well, the thing is that's your child. So you got to protect your child. And so if your child If your child is not if you don't feel comfortable with where your child is, you don't know where your child at what's your child doing then You have to know and understand that You don't need him to pick the son up because that's your son So he should be okay answering questions about his son And I know some men get upset about that and they may not understand that because they're like, oh, I'm his father But if you the one with primary custody then That's that's really on you because when you send your child out of your custody Now it's your place to check up on your child. And so If the man can't get with that then You know, y'all can discuss it in court or what have you but You should always have the right to check up on your son and vice versa Now if When your son with you and he checking in and you're not answering and you don't feel the need to update him on Who you have his son around then that's gonna Exacerbate the situation and make him feel like that So, you know, you got to understand that I know some of y'all watching the video kind of delayed You may be watching it like i'm i'm here and somebody asking a question And the video was ahead on the live So y'all have to understand that Together five years broke up with him One year ago He got someone pregnant and keeps trying to get back with me I haven't moved on because no one in my city is up to par. How do I stop thinking about him and us? Um It's just the way the mind works. You're gonna have to get busy. You're gonna have to join some groups join some organization Uh, read some books write some books, you know start a new company You know get busy on what you have to do focusing on you create a day schedule So that you don't have idle time in your day That if you're not watching something for relaxation or doing something to relax Then you need to be doing something productive And make sure you have that in there Um Huron, I don't know if you listening, but I answered your question. Not sure if you just If you delayed on the video, but I keep saying the same question Copy and paste it in now. I found out he slept around on me. He got tested Only In uti right now. Why won't he admit he is 52? I bless you on that one, sister Now, I know I missed some questions in here now I'm single guy DM me asking if I'm looking for a serious relationship Told him I ain't actively actively looking he stops DM me was my delivery bad He claims he's single He got tested DM me was my delivery bad He claims he's single well You know, it's kind of He gave you what you told him You know, so you shouldn't really be worried about why he stopped in DM him when you told him Stop DMing you You know because he wrote you asking are you looking for a serious relationship? Like are you Writing about are you on here? Are you interested in relation when you said no, I'm not looking Then he like, okay. I'm looking so I'm gonna go on about my business So essentially he just gave you what you said so you have to get clarity on What do you want? You know, do you want a man to court you? Do you want a man to come and approach you with intention and purposeful dating in mind? And if not, then you can't worry about it if he stopped writing you and if you do then you have to say Yes, I am I am Looking to date serious when that happens or however you are worded Tony, I just want to say thank you so much. You've been a huge part of my growth journey I've gotten out of my situation ship. I just published my book in my purpose and focusing on my three B's God bless you whenever somebody say the three B's. I know you've been here. I know you've been here listening So whenever in that whenever somebody say that Okay, so hello, Tony. What does it mean when you conversate with a man and he dominates the convo and you have to interrupt him to speak He talks more about how he is what he likes. He is a nice guy You know, I'll tell you this just let him talk just let him talk don't don't interrupt, you know Just let him talk and the more he talks the better that is because the more you get to hear about him The more you get to learn about him and and if he's not a good person then the quicker He's gonna push you away the quicker you're gonna find out If he is worth your time So when you got somebody talking, that's the best thing that can happen You really don't want to interrupt that you don't want to shut that down You know, you need something if you need to talk Then get your life coach. So that way you get to talk as long as you want to talk But when you meet somebody The person who talks the least Is the person who have the most power? Unfortunately because the more person gonna talk the more you're gonna know The more of his hand he's gonna show And so that's honestly what you want to happen and with men the more a man expresses himself The more he falls in love unless he just got a mental issue And that's what and that'll be shown You'll you'll realize that rather quickly Is it controlling to require your child's father to go to therapy? For a minimum amount of time before seeing child based on previous anger issues and And well as emotional Thank you so much No, that's not controlling. You know, that's a protective measure. That's something that you should do but It's just kind of like You got to look at who he is and and who he's trying to be And before anything just having supervised visitation y'all being at the park And him with the child at the park or at the bounce house at the jump center at the zoo wherever And you being there and him being there and you getting to see that interaction you get to see that time spent because for one he could say he did 12 sessions of of Therapy and he can do like a lot of men do me a lot of men go on my mentor dot life And book a session with me and never do the session But I guarantee you when they book the session and they get that confirmation email They forward that email to the lady to say hey I signed up for a session And then after that day to that session that older session went great and the man never talked to me And so, you know, you could put that requirement in but it really is not You know foolproof. It ain't gonna save you from nothing. He's still gonna do and be who he is Until he really want to change So you'll be better off being around him and feeling his spirit and feeling how he act and how he is And if you're doing that then That's going to be the best thing to do because sometimes it's like You send somebody to therapy. That's money that could be going to the child And it really, you know the therapist and all of that And life coaches is not a magician, you know, they we can't fix nobody You know, so if he's the type of person that he's stubborn, he hard-headed You see he's not growing. He's not changing and nobody gonna be able to help But if he in that space then it'll be different What does it mean if a man sends you a nasty pic video and y'all never mess with each other? That he nasty That mean that he nasty That's all it is and and he don't respect you And he don't respect you because he don't respect himself And so that's type of man that you run from divorce one year 50 50 custody x has brought multiple women around our children. Is he interviewing for the position? I would imagine so I would imagine so It's been good It's been It's been going good dating about four months. He's Consistently making efforts for me. He always planned stuff. I planned a date and took him out Should I have done that if he's supposed to court me? No, that's cool. That's cool. You know just to show him that hey you into him too and so You want to have a ratio with that to where if he does he's planning and he's courting you A man needs to know that he's appreciated as well The key is that you just don't take the full lead And just start courting him all the time and now you planning every day because you want to show how much you want Planned a date and how much you like him, but it's reciprocation is always great Make sure y'all put the hashtag q in front of your question And if you ask a question and you see i'm missing other questions then You know, don't don't ask a second question Until you see out and caught these other questions because what's happening is sometimes you could post your question and You could post it at the right time what i'm done talking And I see your question But if you didn't already ask a question or two or three questions and somebody else post at a different time You know i've missed there, so i'm try i'll try to be as fast as possible But you know y'all gotta Understand just one person trying to scroll with his his finger Hello, tony when a man wants to do business before getting married. Should I be concerned about anything? When you say want to do business if you mean do business with you Like do business with you like you his client or y'all go in business together Then yes, you should be concerned about that If you mean do business like he want to build his business and he want to work on himself while y'all are dating Committed exclusive and intentional then no you shouldn't be worried about that Peace and blessings. How should I date for marriage while remaining celibate until marriage? remaining abstinent until marriage is dating for marriage because when you're dating Dating is to build on a firm foundation Of communication, you know friendship you it's a it's romantic, but you're dating With the intent to marry and so by having Your your legs closed then you're dating Intentionally for marriage. So you still could go on dates, you know, you just have to set boundaries to where you say Hey, our date is out in the public like we're going to the park. We're having a picnic We're going to the movie going to a restaurant going bowling going skating not in the backseat of the car at the lake not In his apartment your apartment But y'all are dating actively and you're doing things that's going to get them You know Juices flowing and y'all building y'all conversating, but you set boundaries to where Can't nothing be whipped out on you and you end up on your back My husband is 50. I'm in my late 30s. He yells and curses when he's mad Cause me names what to do um You know, you probably need coaching for that on marriage situations I try not to speak on marriage situation because marriage is a covenant You know, it's easy to say you should leave a relationship when you're dating because dating is not a covenant before god marriage is a covenant before god So you you have to be a little more Diligent when it comes to marriage and that's something that that you'll need coaching for so you really can lay it out and talk about it Now it sound like, you know, you young enough to be his daughter So in essence, it's kind of like he he yelling at you like Cinderella and so you got to take note of that and Really evaluate the situation and evaluate Why you got into the relationship If he was that same person and you ignored it or if he showed you a representative and now he's showing you his true colors How do I encourage my husband to be more attentive to me? Well, you can leave by example and be attentive to him And when he sees that you're attentive to him It's almost like he's he can learn how to love and he can learn how to Be attentive by seeing what attentive looks like And if that doesn't work like let's say you do that for a week two weeks And it doesn't work Then there's something that in a time of peace you got to sit and you got to have that conversation You got to sit and have that conversation and say hey, I want to talk to you about You know, just our needs and how we can build as a couple And I want to know what you need from me and I want to share what I need from you And so you kind you call that town hall meeting so that y'all can have that discussion and recognize effort Because not everybody going to be perfect at showing love And not everybody going to show love the way we want to show love and a lot of times in our mind We're like, I wish my partner would do this at this very moment But they don't know to do that because they've never seen it exemplify And it's never been done for them and it may not be their love language So they don't even expect to do it know how to do it or want to do it. So In marriage, that's where communication to the relationship Is like oxygen to life I'm 21. No kids my co-worker. He's 34 with two kids He is now trying to make me feel bad for not giving him the time of day. I keep telling him different stages different ages You just stop explaining it now Go ahead stop explaining it. You need to start walking around with the sexual harassment packet So when you see your next time you got that packet in your hand and just Just happen to have that packet and just fan yourself And he see that sexual harassment on the Whoo Well, what you got there? Oh, this oh, this was just something I was looking into it's like That was just talking to it's like if somebody keep bothering you or keep talking to you or whatever It's just like the HR want to hear from you. So I just you know That's all you got to do because right now with the me too You got to you got to stop explaining yourself because see what you have to realize about men men are hunters Men are lions if you acting like a gazelle a man gonna act like a lion Now if you if he see you a lioness Then he gonna move a little different. And so what you have to realize is you can't look like dinner You know And you can't be if you keep keep can And keep trying to softly explain it a man gonna overstep that you know He's gonna look past that with a man. You got to be direct. You got to be direct You got to be real. You got to be blunt. You got to be straight up You got to take the kitty gloves off and you got to let them really feel you for him to Know that you serious What is your take on women who are dating one man but talking to multiple men? Is this a bad thing? Yes a bad thing Because if you dating somebody and you differentiate dating from talking to then You being a doll you being a player and that same thing going to happen back to you Now if dating is you going on dates with people Then it's nothing wrong with dating multiple people. But if you differentiate dating from talking Then that's two different levels and that mean dating is something exclusive or something Committed or something like he think you the only one or he's the only one And so you just got to be very careful with you know, how you define that 22 been dating a great guy 26 for three months lately A lot of men that have it together been trying to court me What to do if you start to wonder what it would Be like to be with a man that has money um Well, you got to really I understand money first And you got to understand that money don't mean anything You know, I was speaking to a team And I was mentioning money and I was talking about earnings and one of the players he asked me he said, are you happy? And I and in that moment I realized that It's not my money that make me happy Like money don't make you happy like I literally know somebody that is getting ready To fly to Italy On a private jet And that round trip private jet flight alone on the type of plane that he fly on going to cost like a half a million dollars And the rest of the trip may cost another hundred grand So for a one week vacation he finna spend What the cost of two three houses and We still talk about happiness like it's still in pursuit Of happiness so you have to understand that a man with money It really does not mean anything like money is could be expensive misery So if you got a guy that does not have money and he's only 26 years old, but he treats you like a queen Then you're going to win all day with him Then being with a man who already established and already got money and made his money without you So now you are option. He don't need you You know, he came to you with money. So you have nothing to do with his success But a 26 year old man who has great character That man at 26. I was making 20 thousand dollars a year Now but I but my wife was with me When she could have been with me and with money She could have been with older men even if it was just five years older than me who make in 75 k 50 k But she was with me for my character and how I was treating her So at 26 years old, I was making 20 thousand dollars a year Now at 37 it's some months that I pay my wife 20 thousand dollars a month So She helped me bill. She was there with me. She was in the process So I feel like everything I got it belongs to her like it's nothing I will keep from her And it's nobody I'll leave her for it's nothing I wouldn't do for her Nothing in the world I wouldn't do for her because she built with me from the ground up And that right there is priceless and that's what a lot of women today Don't understand that and a lot of a lot of women want to go get a man who already established already got his own Instead of being willing to build with a man from the ground up A man with character because if he got character, he's gonna make money So because I have character My wife, she would always tell me the money's gonna come So I already know the money's gonna come the money's gonna come. I'm like, oh man You know, you really think that like you really it's like, yes, that's common sense Like you can't see yourself. She's like, I could see you She's like the money's gonna come So that's what you got to understand just like these men With money Got money Your 26 year old Can get money can get to some money So the key Especially when you young It's character It's that man character. It's how he treats you how he talked to you how he see the world Who he look up to who his mentors are even if they virtual mentors and he never met them So that's what you got to understand. That's a big topic too. So I'm gonna do a whole video on that Well, I talk about it all the time, but Women don't be one I'm not finna be with no broke man You try me So I just supposed to be with a broke man I'm just I'm done with it now. I'm like, all right, go ahead. Do what you want to do I'm talking to a guy that used to text me every day to check on me When he's busy now, he doesn't send me text messages like he used to He gives me the busy excuse. Should I tell him how I feel? I mean, you could tell him how you feel, but I mean, you could tell him how you feel, but he's showing you how he feels So he's showing you he's not into you. He's showing you that that this ship has sailed That's what he's showing you So what you need to show him is your back walking out the door So that's what you got to understand What if he doesn't have a good relationship with his father and it's coming from a place of jealousy And want what his son has years ago boyfriend told me his father liked me, but I never believe until now Since you gotta cut his dad off, you know, what you even talking to a daddy for You know, you you've grown Older matthews look You're a grown woman, you know, you're not a defenseless little girl Like if you talking to a man and he talking to you disrespectful and he coming in two sideways Then as a woman, you got to remove yourself from that and get you got to stop picking up his calls you got to stop calling him stop picking up his calls and He the he ain't got no right by law to see his grandchildren. So you got to stop needing him. You got to go to somebody else I told her how much is the blessed business tribe membership. Thank you um You have to I don't know because it it changes from Device to device and how you sign up. So right up under the videos You'll see where it says c perk. So what have you and when you click on that then It'll show you the blessed tribe and the blessed business tribe and um Because I I thought it I'd be thinking it's one thing and it'd be something else Depending on the device you're using if you're using chrome or if you're using safari if you're using an android or if you're using iphone but on there it also will tell you what the blessed business tribe is and what I do for the blessed business tribe Dating this man who has cheated with three plus women Took him back and months later. He asked for a break But blew me up when I ignored him I confuse I'm confused because he only Has text no calls no pop-ups Going about your business is you know, he don't he he's not the one He's not the one I mean he didn't cheat it on you. It's like cheating one time Is too much But this man cheated with three plus women Come on now You got to get to some baby powder Slap five from yourself. You got to do better than that. So come on now too grown for that It's too it too many men out in the world Copy and paste. Uh, look I'm seeing some of the stuff over and over I've been single 21 years. I am 46 years old Where do I start? You start by getting the knowledge. It's just like It's just like when you get on a job and they put you through training So you've been single 21 years. It's a new day. It's a new world It's new games being played. So doing what you're doing right now You hearing these questions you learning about the state of relationships today You watching the videos you doing the courses you reading the books That's going to be the best thing for you He never grew up in church. So he doesn't know much about jesus and christianity He is trying to get more information. Is it worth moving forward? Has kept his word flew down to me treats me good Well, sis, you got to look at what do you mean to the kingdom? You see what I mean? So You've been on the blessed trial for a while and I know your name and The senior and I know that you're young. I think in your 20s And so you have to look at your trajectory and your purpose and what you mean to the kingdom because Like Is voices out here For the kingdom that's reaching millions That's reaching hundreds of thousands. That's reaching tens of thousands So if you are going to be one of those voices Is no stops that the devil won't pull out to send somebody to you to derail you From your purpose from your calling from your ministry from your belief system So you have to always realize is that when you pray for destiny The adversary is going to send you a distraction that looks like destiny And what god does is going to be decent and in order And he's going to give gifts and add no sorrow So although you're going to have to do some work Your foundation should be the same And so if you choose to go into a relationship where the foundation is not the same Then you're inviting problems Because as you know from knowing god And being a christian that that's still a daily struggle. That's still a daily battle. Like you've never perfect and you Continuously growing. So if he don't even know god Don't know nothing about god. God ain't been up under no rock. So he didn't have All these years to be exposed to god in the word of god. So A lot of times a man of fake because To a atheist That's a notch in a belt to get a christian to sin against her god Because when you sin against your god it make that man for a man it make that man your god So a lot of men will get a a high out of that and it'll be a ego stroke For him to get you off your block And get you in that bed with him and then they'll go out to the barbershop and bragging saying hey Some of the best. Oh before new christian women But hey, you know no christian women be talking about god Boy, look here. Will you get one of them? But they'll be in there calling you Oh, and so men When we are grown boys We won't notches in our belt So We might want a woman who got a bmw We might want a woman who got a certain color eye a woman who got a certain color complexion a woman who Is christian a woman who is a zotic dancer a woman who? Is a stay-at-home mom a woman who is the mama of one of our clients, you know If you if you cut hair A man want to sleep with the mama of some of the little boys that he cut and they have if he'll if he'll you football coach He want to touch them some of the Mamas some of the single mamas on this football or basketball team So it's like men when we're grown boys. We have different little fetishes different little Notches that we want to get in the belt. So you come in here like this good christian And this man he on something else He'll play that role like he getting to know about god to get you off to get you on your back and and then go And and he'll do it to prove to himself that god ain't real To prove to himself that christian's faith And so that's why you know with my walk with god. I don't want to let down a single person I could cheat with one woman Who will never tell her whole life? But my ministry or my message is lost to that one woman So her soul Will burn Because of the place that she in in her life and mine gonna burn with her And that's all it take and so I realized that is I don't try to look like oh, well, let me not sleep with 10 women Because that's when you get exposed. Let me just do five. Let me just do one. No, I don't want one woman I don't want one woman to be able to say Hey that tonic as in you see on on youtube be talking about god Hey, he and my dm flirting with me. He trying to hit on me He ain't he trying to hit on me. He want to be with me. Look what he's telling you. Look what he's telling me Because that one person so with that man Who you are in his life his soul on the line His blood on your hands because if God sent him in your life And you fall on in the sex in you on your back then It blood on your hand but nine if he can't get with the program and he not growing and Sowing and getting in what you in Then he gonna have to go on about his business so you leave about your business, but then he Can move forward and say a I met a woman who says she's about this kind of lifestyle and she really lived So it must be some real about that relationship With god because that woman She wasn't with it like she wasn't finna sleep with me She wasn't finna go against her belief system because for her it's real and it worked for her So that's gonna help him believe So that's something real and Intentionally that I want you all to understand when we bring God into this because God need new pr Because there's so many people that write me about They want a man a god or a woman a god, but they down for the get down be ready to be in fornication And we got to get beyond it be ready to do some fraud be ready to steal be ready to lie Be ready to cheat but be talking about God and we got to do better because We are the gospel and then people losing faith in God because it'd be like man I can't trust them Christian man and Christian hypocrite man and Christian do this man and Christian do that and Christian do this And person I know male or female They're gonna see me live a life for christ No matter how long they round me they're gonna see me living for God That's because my they blowed on my hand So I want y'all to understand that now Akilah god bless you now god bless you you're gonna post that question in there 90 times So, you know, you're not watching this video. You still you doing you you reading your books studying In your class And you're gonna post that question 90 times now. I mean I don't answer your question And uh, what I told you is you write no rush keep doing what you're doing Keep doing what you're doing focus on focus on you focus on building you working on you Don't worry about no relationship, especially if you a woman A man need to be worried about a relationship When he working on himself because it's the man who find a wife. It's the man who Need to create his lineage be fruitful replenish the earth the man who need to find a wife So that's the man place to be out there looking and all of that As a woman You will be found your husband gonna find you So, you know, make sure that you locked in you focus on your three B's you're doing what you're supposed to be doing Vanessa, Vanessa, I miss her super chat uh, if it came to me Oh, there you go Vanessa, I see you right here How to handle being dumped by a guy I reached out By a text to say hi and he rudely gave me one word answer. Can you Give second chance after being dumped um, Vanessa Well, I'll tell you this You got to move on with your life. Okay You got to move on with your life You know, you got to do the word You got to move on with your life because you weren't about a second chance But he don't want a second chance and y'all don't need a second chance because If he dumped you and then you write him and he gave you a rude one word answer That's him trying to tell you please pick yourself a Read you a book Listen to that man that you watching on youtube and not listening to Listen to what he's saying And move on with your life So don't worry about no second chance because you should never want somebody who don't want you So understand that now How to deal with shady people at church? I haven't said anything because I don't want to gossip But I get bad vibes from a girl who everyone loves slash friends with she was cool at first but switched up Well, you just got to cut off. You ain't got to gossip. Don't talk bad about it because if you taking a bone by her then somebody gonna take a bone by two and That's on your name. Now you the gossiper. So if she got everybody full What you got do is just pat yourself on the back that you actually have the spiritual discernment to see her true colors And pray for the people who came so really that's a blessing That's a compliment from god to be able to see her true colors So and she'd know you could see her and that's why she switched it up. So don't worry about that Go on about your business everything and work being addressed Got married then divorced. What's up, man? Huh? Yeah, oh, yeah, that sounds good Okay, you gonna be able to get it you gonna just gonna call an order right now. Okay. All right. Like yes, uh, speak my language Why give me something to eat y'all got to forgive me. She's picking up some food My land uh-oh my phone about the Phone ain't got much battery left Got married then divorced after five years. He had an affair got back together Total 19 years just found out he was talking to another woman. He said was nothing. What's your view? Um, my view is that he's comfortable with you. He's complacent And he don't believe That you got what it takes to leave he don't believe that you love yourself enough to walk away And he's not man enough to tell you that you're not the one for him and he's not the one for you So because he's comfortable with you, he don't want to start over He don't want to start over but so he want to keep you as you know, you like is like his puppy You know But he able to leave you home and go to work and make money and come back home and Feed you and rub on your back a little bit But then gone by this business and just leave you home to play with your toys and fend to yourself So a lot of times what a man does is a man will use a woman as a human teddy bear or a lap dog And he will use you just for that little bit of peace and that little bit of comfort and that little bit of consistency But he don't want he's not just satisfied with you. He want more of you He won't what's outside of you. He won't other stuff around you and so That's when when that's happening. You got to realize that in the sad part is that you've been gay 19 years of your life That's the sad part more precious than rules. God bless you. God bless you. Hey y'all I told him so I wasn't gonna be on here longer than an hour because um I'm doing a q&a on um Instagram so make sure you know You own my instagram for the written questions and answers And I was doing that and my phone about to die So I need to be able to plug my phone in so Well, my wife want to get my food see it's sunday and where the way our Marriage is the way our life is is my wife For one, she's very independent. And so she got stuff that she does now My work although it's my purpose It also pays me to serve in my purpose when i'm working for god And so I'll be doing work helping people. But that's also of my job And so she sees that and she understand that and so she's like listen you do your work And let me do my work. Let me do what I do. And so when she's doing her thing She just she want me out of the way Doing my thing And so she she take care of how she doing this and that And this what i'm doing, you know what i'm called to do So that's when that's how I'm able so I know sometimes y'all might look and wonder what Tony, how you doing a Q&A on instagram? Answer questions on that pause that then come do a Q&A on youtube Talk here for an hour Then go do more Q&A on instagram When i'm when i'm when you see me stringing it together like that that mean my wife doing her thing And she she got me out the way. She cooked. She fold in laundry. She clean and mopping doing this and that And some women my young help You need to be helping her. She don't want my help. She don't want me in her way She's in this she she got away. She liked to do stuff And she won't do it her way So I let her do that and then when she didn't need me to do something She'll say hey, can you do this right here? And i'm like, okay, y'all got you And baby, can you do this right here for me? So Tony, I don't have a family or anyone I provide for myself and I really don't like it even though I'm good at it I'm sad that people say that I have to do it for myself while they have a much better support system in life And god bless you since you know God bless you keep your head up. You know what I mean? keep your head up because If if it was given for you to do Although you don't like it a lot of us don't like the lot that we have in life To be honest with you, I would much rather go out here and sell some medical devices Than to sit on here answering y'all questions I'll be honest with you because I don't even like dealing with people. I'm an introvert But god gave me a gifting and a calling at this and I could look around and I could see somebody else Try to do this right here answer questions off the cuff and give a sound answer And I could see that it ain't the easiest. I know it's not the easiest thing in the world I know that not everybody is going to be able to give sound feedback And so that lets me know this must be your call and this must be your gifting but the burden is heavy So when the boy asks me Are you happy? I say I'm purposeful. I told him I'm purposeful. I'm intentional It ain't about happiness Jesus asks, can the cup be passed from him? Do you think apostle Paul was happy? Do you think Moses was happy? Do you think David was happy? Happiness is what you define it. I'm obedient to my calling. So for me, that's happiness You see what I mean and no more questions now. No more questions. I'm done answering questions Done answering questions just talking to y'all right now because I'm about to get over here My phone about to die So I say that to say You got to embrace your struggle. You got to embrace your grind. You got to embrace your climb And you got to be happy about your life because because nobody is coming to save you Ain't nobody finna come tap on my shoulder and say hey, Tony. God gave me your exact gift I just talked to him. He said hey, I'm taking the gift from Tony. I'm giving to you And you finna be able to do exactly what he's doing And I'm finna send him another purpose and another calling And that's gonna, you know, take care of everything Nobody coming to save you. You see what I mean? So you got to embrace what you call to do because if you're able to do it, then that means you call to it And that's one thing we got to realize and understand And there was something else that I kept seeing a theme I kept seeing in the Q&A And I cannot remember if it was friend with benefits Or if it was age difference I kept seeing questions about age difference So I don't know what's going on right here. What's in the water with with y'all ladies that's younger and want an older man I'm gonna tell you that's a gamble It's a gamble. You're probably gonna lose your shirt when you get a man as old as your daddy He's gonna try to raise you so you got to understand that And on the other side that I kept seeing with the friends with benefits, which I'll have to understand There is no there are no benefits To being friends with benefits. There are no benefits You playing yourself like a fool There's no such thing as casual sex every every type of sex going to cost you Oral and of course it's going to cost you And it's going it's going to take you further than you want to go and it's going to cost you more than you can afford to pay Like what am I used to say? So you better understand Everything you doing in this day and age Like the bible say we weaker and wiser Smartphones making us dumb It relaxed one of us. We addicted to our phones We got our kids addicted to the phones addicted to the ipads So what's happening is we getting weaker and wiser meaning We we could put a man on the moon But We don't know basic everyday stuff We don't know how to love ourselves. We don't know how to respect ourselves. We're putting up with cheating We're putting up with lying. We're selling them for friends with benefits But you could you could go and do a whole excel spreadsheet In 10 minutes You could write a whole report You could you could graduate get a bachelor's get a master's get a doctorate But we don't know how to set boundaries in our interpersonal relationships. We weaker and wiser Like the bible saying So with this day and age everything you do you got to do it intentionally Everything has to be done intentionally So you can't play the radio with nobody meaning that you ain't playing no games with nobody Anybody in your life you giving them your absolute best and they got to be giving you their absolute best And when somebody trying you and disrespecting you and taking you for granted You got to love yourself enough to be willing to walk away because in this day and age People playing for keeps and when you don't know how to love yourself and respect yourself Somebody's gonna try you and it's gonna cost you It's gonna you're gonna end up pregnant You're gonna end up having a child with the person You're gonna end up emotionally scarred for years to come You're gonna be broke busted and disgusted looking like who shot john forgot to kill And your life gonna feel like it's in shambles because you didn't put boundaries Around your life and you didn't set standards for your life So that the people who come in your life got to treat you with respect And that people not using you just to use you and so that's why even with myself right now I'm pulling back. It's a whole lot that I have done and that I've given To you know friends and family that I say, you know what? That's not my place and if I start to see certain people start to expect it and and they Feel like I'm obligated to serve to give to them Then that's when I realized I got to set stand. I got to set boundaries Because what you have to understand about human nature Is another human will Take you for everything you got Another human if you let a human use you Get over on you lie to you cheat on you manipulate you deceive you Another human being will use you as their supply They will do what they want to do how they want to do it and they will come to you and take you for everything you worth They will take you for everything you got all your emotional Your emotional capacity your financial capacity Everything you got it you will be drained if you don't set standards and boundaries in your life And know who you are know what you want know what you deserve and refuse To accept anything less than what you deserve and that's what That's what it's gonna take So hey, you know, I got to keep on being out here, but it's sad to me. I'm gonna be honest with you It's sad to me the questions that I get go on instagram Search my name tonic askers find my instagram And click on my story and read the questions Read the questions And I'll be doing that as much as I can and then I it drained me and so I'll take I'll take a break the last Not I only took like a week break here recently But before that I hadn't done it for like a year Because it is draining when I be reading stuff that y'all putting up with and that y'all go through I'm like my goodness My goodness I pick up my problems in a heartbeat when I look at other people problems And that's one thing I say is that we should never complain about our life Because when you look at somebody else problems, it's a it's a quote that say if if all of us put our problems in a pile We'll all pick up our own problem Because we got what it takes to deal with our problems inside of every problem. There are seeds to the solution So you got to know and understand that And once you understand that and you get to that place to where you start to set boundaries in your life And you make sure That you're not being used and abused and taken advantage of and that the people who come into your life that they bring something If they're going to take something that they bring something if they're going to take something And when you set that in place, that's when the circle gets smaller That's when you realize who really there for you That's when you realize who just willing and want to receive and take from you But when you need them, they're not willing to sacrifice for you. They're not willing to go out. They wait for you They're not willing to cancel nothing for you But they want you to be there and they ever back and called and so that's what you got to realize and That's how we lose in the day And you have also in in closing what i'm gonna let you know and understand is that you know How I say we weaker and wiser We we wicked and wiser too And so what you have to understand is that it's getting very it's getting very ruthless out here It's getting real vicious out here from men and women, whichever side you on whichever side you dating on You got to be very mindful. I had a young lady right in the q&a about you know, she asked her boyfriend to pay for her hair And it's like man That's that's your boyfriend. That's not your husband. He don't owe you no money He's not supposed to be paying your bills Like you supposed to have your own job taking care of yourself like when he your husband That's a husband duty what he could do but not no girlfriend And you're not supposed to be taking care of no man as a woman And one on the flip side of that what I've been seeing a lot of is women auditioning for men And you literally auditioning for a man and you got this man I hear this man got you cooking got you cleaning Got you doing all of this sucking and ducking Like you auditioning for the role of a wife when it's like listen, he'll play boy Is this one do this woman got a good heart This woman talked to you with respect. Is she a trustworthy person? It's her life in order If if you see that on her and you attracted to her, that's a wife The woman ain't got to be cooking and cleaning and sexing you and all of that. I don't know audition But what happened is we have grown boys who was bullied We got men today with podcast and with and with youtube channels and these men was bullied These men these men was talked about these men was pumped These men was degraded and disrespected And now they coming for their revenge And so now they these men get them a microphone in their face These men get them get them a voice And now it's revenge of the lambs And they coming out here and they finna make these women pay. Oh you finna pay. Oh, I am the prize I am high value And you need to work for me Oh, yeah, let me ask you this. Is that your hair? Is that your eyelashes? Now those your lips Those your breasts Those your thighs those that's your butt How much you make You willing to pay for a date What's your credit score? That's the approach that these men taking today They putting women on this probationary period like Like his stuff don't stink And that's what i'm seeing and i'm seeing so many women it's women coming to me. How can I show him on my wife? Listen, what what is a wife? A wife is a trustworthy honest Person that could be a role model for the kids That's going to be selfless and caring and loving How good you could fold clothes don't mean you a wife How good you could cook and clean don't mean you're a wife. How many degrees you got don't mean you're a wife How slim your waist is and nice your breath don't mean you're a wife. None of that don't make you a wife And that's what these men got women thinking that oh you got to cook and clean and your waist got to be this size Your face got to look like this. You last you got to be listen those grown boys And you got to make sure and and this is what i'm seeing i'm seeing good men Get overlooked Good men getting overlooked dog died and disrespected And then no good grown boys grown boys getting all The leeway and the leverage in the world it's like A man don't make a certain amount of money You're not even a man you are and you ain't got the end on you are and But then get your grown boy. He's going outside your head. He's cheating on you three different women He he dumping you he keep asking for a break every other month tell me he need a break to get yourself together Train you like absolute crap And y'all keep going back to him keep going back to him keep going back to him And then he got a good man right here sniffing on your neck right up under you Oh, hey friend best friend Putting the good man and the friends on who could protect provide Love you down But you want the man That's going to beat you down verbally emotionally sometimes physically make you feel like crap And make you seek his approval And juggle you with other women And then look and ask and wonder why And i'm telling you and and and the men they got leaders They got men online on youtube and podcast and instagram that's leading the brigade And they going there and they they going d-men they going out to the men on e-podcast and they getting that battery put in They back and they going back in out there. I'm the prize Revenge of the lambs revenge of the nerds. We finna make me wear and pay And then he got women lining up the pay the pipe being an old bike was for a man And who for a grown boy And then you get a good man And spit in his face And then here's the thing every single woman said, oh, no, I want a good man. I want a good man. No, I want I don't want no grown boy No, I want a good man my phone about down And then I show you a good man well well Well, I know I said I want a good man, but but I really was hoping that he made, you know 75 85 thousand Yeah That's all that. I mean am I asking too much? You can let me know so before asking for too much now. Let me know now I thought you wanted a good man This is a good man got character. He's about he he making money and finna make more money But he know how to he was raised how to treat a woman how to talk to a woman But now you calling himself Now you calling him like now. He ain't got enough edge for you Now he ain't got enough edge for you. You want somebody like future Who ain't finna give you no future? And he been to use your sleep with you get impregnated gone by the business but could dress Got swag now Gonna look gonna look good on the date now gonna look good why y'all Pump faking for the audience as a couple, but you're gonna get low You gonna get cheated on you gonna get dog die And but here go the good man And he can't overlook so it's not that it's Not good man It's just that women looking at men with money Who a lot of these men have money but don't have character And so you want a man in real life with money who's not a celebrity But you want him to have celebrity money or status in the community wanting to be a lawyer or a doctor or You know on the board the pastor You know the chairman wanting to be something in the community or want to have money And overlook the man who he's gonna get up and go to work every day Hand might be dirty might have dirt on this nail Might not know how to dress. He's still wearing them parachute pants with the bell bottom You know, he's gonna tuck that shirt in had it built on He he dressed a little different But he'll get overlooked When he actually is the one that's solid and you want the men out here That when these short shorts that gonna stop at the middle of their thigh you can see the vein coming from they growing to their knee cap And they can't they can't put a wallet in them pants They can't put a a dollar in them pants Them pants so tight He got all this It's a shirt button all the way down. You can see his heart beating in his chest He got a little diamond necklace on he got all his tattoos on he smoked like a chimney He drank like a fish. He sleep round like a porn star But because he looked like what's being praised and shown online With these men with money and they got variety they got access So they they'll get them a woman that Just feel like man, I can't get nobody else I don't want nobody else in as long as she getting took care of financially He could cheat much as he wanted to cheat and then women let men come in the real life and do that in real life Everyday men just running in and out and I'm like now listen you you looking at this rapper girl girlfriend or baby mama But your man out here cheating And broke Now that's a little bit of money what he got. Yeah, even okay. He'd make a hundred thousand that ain't no money That ain't no money to be cheating A million dollars ain't no money to be cheating a hundred million you see now you see these other women doing What on jump base those wives and did? I See y'all And then give him all her money way Because she because she realized money came by happiness. She realized How Trillions of dollars and came by happiness What bill gates wife did? See y'all what Michael Jordan wife did see y'all Because they realized and that's why I keep trying to tell y'all like listen a good man He's gonna be on the grind He might not have money coming out his ears. He might not be able to do all this and that he might not be able to fly you to Tahiti right now But he's gonna be ambitious. He's gonna get up. He's gonna go to work. He's gonna talk to you, right? He's gonna respect you And listen, he might not look like The man you seeing on instagram on your popular page might not look like the man on the tv You know his nose might be a little wider. He might have him a wide-set nose They might call him no-stradamus But do we treat you right? Is he loving you right? Is he a good man? Listen, he don't have the money for all them facials and manicures and pedicures and fake hairlines Like the man you see online, but it's a good man And so that's what you got to understand is that today we need to really understand what what is a good man? What is a good woman? And that's really where we fell in that Man saying they want a good woman and they really looking for a big booty With a pretty smile who could twerk to a certain song And look like somebody he follow online and then the The equal vice versa For the woman and that's what i'm seeing as i'm sitting out here reading emails and processing and seeing what's going on and collecting the data I'm like man. We've been just letter straight by what we're seeing on reality tv on instagram on youtube on the movies on the shows We've been letter straight And we're not really connected and clicking on what really matters So hey, it's on the gas can my phone about to die on me And um So I had here at the chat so y'all You know forgive me So I could just talk through there so I ain't see nothing And um, I had stopped taking questions. So if you came in late, you know, forgive me If you came in late and posted a question and I missed it but god bless you and My phone dead, but i'ma try to When things going a little slower Um this week if depending on these here mba finals and what time they going on I'll be doing live q and a's at different times Because i mean my wife, you know, we're going to be taking us a little break on sunday So but hopefully I have some videos still going up while me and my wife on our little break You know a little getaway a little vacation to end out the summer before school start and life get back going God bless you. We'll talk soon