 So I'm Lakeham everyone. I'm here with brother Conry from Florida originally, but now is it Oakland? Yeah, originally from Florida. I've been out in the Bay area for about a year and a half now, so living in Oakland now. Yes, we're just gonna have a nice little chat. It's gonna be tough because I do know the brother. I have to pretend like I don't a little bit so that in Charlotte you all can as well and benefit from his story as I have. So, yeah, my Shalala is Ramadan. Kind of start from the end a little bit, but checking how's your Ramadan going so far? So so far Ramadan is going pretty good. It's my second year. Last year being the first first time I experienced it, I'm shortly after taking my Shalala. So this time around I just feel like you know it's a have some new goals. A better understanding of Islam overall and just really looking to make the most out of this Ramadan that I can like everybody else. It's like a growth in every step like growth in development. I say it's like a marathon not a sprint. Yeah. So it's just another lap in Shalala. One of many to come in Shalala. So you mentioned it's being like your second Ramadan. So I guess it might like just kind of share the story of your Shalala kind of what brought you to Islam. We got you interested and your whole sort of spiritual journey that led you to your Shalala that in the parking light house. Oh, man. All right. So yeah, so okay, yeah. So I was born and raised in the Christian household. You know, my grandfather was a preacher and so I grew up, you know, always having a faith in God and understanding that it was a higher power that, you know, there was a creator something besides myself and, you know, growing up as you hear different stories or the way things were related to me personally, I've always had some questions about that. I was always very curious and as to, you know, deeper questions about the Creator, you know, what was the purpose of life, what that meant for myself, what that meant to my culture and as far as the way I looked in the world, how people display that and for me in a lot of instances, I saw a mismatch as far as what people kind of proclaimed to follow or profess and was really looking at their actions and I didn't really grow up knowing a lot of Muslims or being around a big Muslim community, especially in Florida. But with that being said, now that that kind of gained a deeper understanding and gotten in the community a little bit more, it may not be that there wasn't a community around, maybe my eyes just wasn't open to it, which I feel like translates to a lot of a bigger part of here in America as well, you know, sometimes it's easier to not see something if you're not really looking for it and so essentially fast-forward to, I would say, about college, you know, I'm just kicking it with my friends just like any other regular college students, you know, one of my friends being an atheist, not not really observing a higher power in his life. I had another friend named Ross who was Muslim and I was, you know, Christian but somewhere in the middle at the time and so we often had like many discussions, we would sit down, we'd kick it, you know, we might, you know, play the video game, play some 2k and and joke around with each other and also there was different things that were occurring around around this time, I would say about like maybe 2011, 2012 and interestingly enough, I believe the Trayvon Martin situation had just occurred around that time, which was, you know, social injustice and so we were all having a conversation about how we felt about that and how we were gonna process like our feelings and you know, how did we kind of, how could we kind of comfort ourselves and then continue to, you know, go to the same school and just put it in the context that situation happened about 30 minutes away from where I went to college at University of Central Florida and I noticed that through our conversations, man, I remember my friend who, for instance, who he didn't really observe a high power, I just remember him really being very angry in a sense and not really, you know, the way he talked about the situation and talked about coping with it, I kind of, I knew, I felt like, you know, that may not be the healthiest way, that may not be the healthiest route and even myself, you know, I realized at one point I, as much as I professed to like believe in God and to know that everything was okay, I just, at that time, I didn't, I didn't really feel that, I kind of was like, you know, it's something that, you know, I don't really know how to process my feelings and I remember my, my buddy Ross, he gave some really good insight and commentary and everything that he kind of said, he mentioned, you know, kind of came back to his faith and he often brought up Islam, but not in a way that was very like pushing it on you. It was in a way that was very like, hey, you know, hey, this is what we believe in and this is what, this is how we take this and, you know, the answer to racism and certain problems and differences is just the very fact, you know, it comes from the ayah and I don't want to misquote it, but it says something about how we were all made, you know, we were all different, we made you different so that you can get to know one another and for me, that's one of the first things that stuck out to me because at that time, I had a lot of like confusion about how I felt, you know, like, I wasn't to the point to where I felt like, you know, racist or anything like that, but at one point I felt like, well, you know, I don't know if I see, if I see, you know, a brother like yourself, I don't know if, you know, walking up and down the street at that time was like, you know, I don't really know what that brother might think about me, you know what I'm saying or I don't know what to think about that brother and Ross had conversations that surrounded around, you know, posing thoughts like, you know, well, why would you think that? What is it that's got you thinking that way? You know what I mean? And I felt like, you know, previous to that, I did do a little bit of research on like Malcolm X and his story. And the thing that I took the most away from that was, you know, what was it that helped him transform? What was it that, you know, brought peace to his life? And in a way, I read his autobiography and towards the end, the thing that grabbed my attention the most that made me want to delve a little bit deeper in Islam was the fact that he talked about the first time he went to Hajj and how he, you know, that was the first time in his life he, he genuinely made really good friends and could pray next to a, you know, a Caucasian brother or a Indian brother or a, you know, brother from Pakistan and all these different places. And he talked about it experience in detail. And for me, as a young man reading that book, that kind of stuck to me. It was like, hmm, so Islam is that common factor, you know, and then fast forward, should I just fast forward a bit? Because it, so I say, should I go with the flow, as you feel it, we can double back if we need to. Yeah. So a lot of, so there was a couple of different moments, you know, I felt like leading up to me, taking my Shahada that as I look back on it had to do with, like they say, you know, Allah guides whom he wills and no man can misguide whom Allah guides. And for me, man, there was a one, one other moment fast forward a couple of years later, I moved to Miami, Florida, and I'm there in a candy store and just hanging out, you know, with my cousin, who my cousin at the time, you know, he's just, you know, being a kid, being his, being his normal self, you know, joking, laughing, you know what I mean, taking, taking a piece of candy, you know, shoplifting in the sense. And so for me, you know, I looked at that and I was kind of like, I looked at the cashier and I'm like, I see the cashier looking at this guy, you know what I mean? I see him, like, he obviously knows you just took his piece of candy or whatever. And my cousin's like, it's a piece of candy is whatever, you know, so he kind of walks out the store. And so I kind of, you know, I felt like inside me, I'm like, yo, like, bro, we don't, you know, we don't do that, bro. Like, you know, some, you know, some moral code type thing. And before I could even apologize to this guy, I looked at him and I'm kind of like, you know, I gave him some extra money and I'm like, here, take this. And, you know, he looked at me and he gave me this really deep look and was like, you know, why would you apologize on behalf of another man? Like, I would never judge you based off your skin color or anything like that. And so I just found that pretty odd and I was like, whoa, like, you know, like, you know, what would make you like, go out of your way to say that. And then I promise you, man, I'm not making this up at all. I like to read. I'm an avid reader. And at that moment of me and him talking, I looked down and amongst like some candy and next, there was a newspaper stand. And on that newspaper stand, it was a Quran. And I asked him, I said, I said, Hey, man, how much is this? And he looked, he looked at me and he's like, for you, it's free. And so I was like, okay, cool. You know, took the book. I can honestly say funny enough. I didn't really, I didn't really, I opened it. I didn't really read it. I had it at my house probably for like a couple months during which that time I was getting ready to end up moving to California. And after that happened, right as I was moving out, I realized it was a monster around the corner from my house the whole time I was there. You know, and so I found that very interesting. You know, fast forward, I moved to California. Dude, you know, in the middle of the pandemic, just kind of reset my career at the time I was working in the airline industry. I had gotten opportunities to travel and see some things and go to some museums. And one thing I noticed everywhere that I went during this time, during my travels, these Smithsonian museums in DC and different places was that, you know, I would see people who to me, quote unquote, looked Muslim, whatever that look is, you know, now as far as the, you know, jab or Kofi, different things like that. But now that I know better, I know that once again, Islam and Muslims, like we don't have, there is no stereotypical look, you know, it's more so about, you know, being humble and how you dress, you know, and interesting enough, man, I was fascinated by like the exhibits, fascinated by some of the art and things that I saw. And I just remember thinking like not knowing what to make of it, but that it did feel kind of natural to me. And so, you know, keep in mind like all of these things I felt like were just little signs, little things that just point my mind towards like, you know, checking out Islam. So fast forward, I moved to California. I'm here by myself. I have like a friend or two in the area. And at this time, man, I just, you know, I was enjoying myself. I was living the dunya life in the sense, you know, just hanging out, you know, went to party or two stuff like that. But by this time, you know, in college, you know, I did all that. And I, and when I started to think about, and I think everybody in the pandemic kind of went through this, where I found myself kind of in a lonely place at one point, thinking like it's got to be more to life than this. And, you know, like, these are all temporary pleasures, you know, that we seek out. And it's just like, you know, just to pivot a little bit. But if, you know, if you go to the clubs and in a sense, I'm not, you know, telling anybody or distracting anybody from partying, I'm just saying that these are the realities of it. If you think about it, you're going to dark place, they turn the lights off, you know, the, you know, the furniture and everything is all around. And in reality, it's just an illusion. It's just something to set you up for, you know, a temporary hour or two hours, three hours of fun. And then what happens after that, you know, it's just like, you go seeking the next pleasure again or seeking the next things they cite you, you know, and I say that to say this, that I took the time to go back home to visit my dad. And my dad has always been a person who, while he's not Muslim, was very rooted and centered on like having good morals and just being a good person overall. And he oftentimes introduced it to a lot of Muslims or his friends that were of the faith. And interesting enough, you know, when I went back to visit him, one of his best friends, he pulled me to the side. He's like, Hey man, I hear you doing good at your life. And you know, you got some things going on. He's like, you know, but how's your faith? How's your, how's your spirit? And I say, you know, my spirit is good, man. I'm good. You know, I kind of already knew he was Muslim. So I'm like, I'm like, Oh, okay, here we go. He probably about to hit me with a little speech or something. You know, and funny enough, it wasn't that he simply just said, Hey man, do you, uh, have you ever heard of Islam or heard about the Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessing be upon him? And so I said to myself, I said, I joke. And I was like, yeah, man, I read Malcolm X. I'm like, you know, I'm like 90% Muslim anyways. And so, you know, I jokingly said that, but funny enough, he looked at me and not in the non in a non judgmental way. And he was like, you know what? He's like, it's good that you know, you know, know a little bit. But he said, you know, you should, you might want to take a look at the Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessing be upon him, his life a little bit, you know, get back to me. And honestly, I was supposed to fly back to Oakland, uh, like the next day. And honestly, when I got in that plane, man, I kept thinking about that Quran that I received. I kept thinking about some of those experiences that I had previously in my life and kind of where I was. And, uh, on the whole way back, I was just kind of doing some research, man, you know, reading, reading the Quran a bit. And, uh, and so when I got back, you know, I realized that there was a mosque right down the street from where I was living. So yet again, you know, feeling like this was another sign for me to, you know, take a deep, take a deeper look or at least just stop by, you know, so, um, to back up a little bit, I had been to a mosque, maybe once in my life before that, my same friend, Rossi, who I was speaking about before in college, he, uh, he took me to a mosque in Ramadan and kind of, we just, you know, I didn't fast that day, but it was such an amazing feeling to get there and sit down and eat with different people and just kind of like, you know, go through, went through the prayer, didn't really know much about what I was doing. But once again, it's one of those things kind of felt natural, you know. So fast forward, I remember, you know, maybe I should go to the mosque on Friday or mosque, you know, during Juma. And so at this time, plenty enough, it was, uh, you know, we're social distancing. So at that time, some mosques were open. Some mosques have been closed alternating, you know, between outdoor spaces. And this particular mosque, they were, they were at the park. So when I stopped by at like 12 o'clock, 1pm, I was just like, yo, like, where are the Muslims at, you know? And, uh, so I didn't let that, like, deter me or discourage me or anything, but I just thought it was odd. And so I left, right? I later that night, I'm walking past the same path, man, headed to the store just to get some snacks, bro. And, uh, I didn't know where I realized, you know, there was a light on in the mosque. And so I looked at it, I kind of walked up, and I almost turned around to walk away. And I saw two brothers come in there. And it was like, Hey, they were like, Hey, you coming to pray, you know, hey, let's lie, let's lie, you know? And I'm like, not knowing any, not knowing every one of me, how you let's lie. All right, cool. I mean, you know, come over. And so I went, you know, they asked me that I do you know, and it was a very, it wasn't a very like, it wasn't a bad way, but it was very firm way. Like, did you do so that I'm just like, whoa, like, did I, you know? So I'm like, not knowing like all the details and stuff. I'm like, you know what? I know I'm supposed to maybe wash my hands, you know, be clean to come in this place. And, uh, and so I did, I went in the bathroom, I came out really quick. We went through a prayer, I believe it was moderate time, actually. And so we go through, you know, we go through the prayer. And funny enough, you know, I'm just in the back trying to keep up with the movements and everything. And, uh, at the end of the prayer, the brother turns around and he's like, hey, man, he's like, are you a new Muslim? And so I kind of laughed and I was like, something like that. And, uh, funny enough, man, that night we had a conversation, you know, he just gave me a very general overall concept of Islam as far as, you know, Shadu and la, you lie, you lie, la, la. I bear witness that there's no deity worthy of worship itself for our law. And then I bear witness that Muhammad is a servant and messenger, you know, and for me, while I didn't fully unpack that, that night, something about it felt real, something about it felt like, you know what, man, like, it's more to this. And if, and it's inviting you to ask questions, which in my previous, you know, religious experience, we didn't really, you weren't invited to ask questions like that. It was more of you're not supposed to be asking this or like, you're just supposed to accept this. And that's it, you know, or like, you're Christian or you're, you're this and these people, they just don't believe that. And, you know, this is what we believe. And I'm just like, hmm, but that doesn't really leave room for much like tolerance. That doesn't really leave room for much openness of discussion, you know. And yeah, man, so I would say that from that point, I did a little bit more, I just kept, I read the Quran a little bit. I did some research. And honestly, once I started thinking about just the the oneness of God, and what that truly meant, and how, you know, we must stand firm on these things. And that if you say that, you know, you believe in one God, you believe in the most high, then it can really only be one, you know what I mean? Because if you say it's two or three, then what made that, and then what made that, what made that, you know, and so finding out and understanding that Muslims, that we see our Creator in a way that we try our best to describe, but even we know we truly can't name it per se, you know, Allah, the most high, like for me, I lost some animal to Allah. Like for me, that that resonated with me very deeply, man. And so I said, whatever this is, whatever this is about, I want to learn more about it. I want to know, you know, all the people that I knew, or I've seen examples of who are Muslims, wow, may not be perfect, but they all had a certain way to move. They all had a certain look about them, a certain level of peace that I felt that I've seen people operate with. And I just wanted a piece, you know, I wanted a piece of that, just a piece of that, you know, originally. Yeah, and ended up getting a whole lot more. So, you know, thankful, thankful for that. And so that next week, I ended up taking my shahada. I had found out like, yeah, during Juma at that time that they were actually praying outside of the park. And so I went to that area and I was in one of the first things I can tell you, I was I was super amazed by how many people were there. You know, because from coming from that point of not seeing anybody at the mosque to like, you know, like, whoa, there's a whole community of Muslims out here was amazing to me and was and it was very cool and seeing all different like, you know, colors and shapes and sizes and not races, because you know, it's only one race, the human race. And once again, it's just, you know, it was amazing, man, to identify with that and to see, you know, to see kids and other people just running around and just being themselves. Yeah. So essentially, that's what made me, yeah, that's what that's what brought me to this long. Yeah. The first step in the door that day in the park, you know, with my house and I believe it was Amon Daoud was there. Yeah, Amon Daoud was there. It's probably the very best situation. That's a good, a very good brother. And yeah, we're worked out very well. Yeah, man, it's a lot, a lot to unpack kind of there. I think, kind of what you were saying at the end is just sort of there's a full circle about the, the oneness, the Taohi, right? From your sort of initially the beginning of your thought process, at least as you tried to hear was coming out of a trademark marriage situation and I'll say the situation. It killed this kid and the country was like divided between whether or not killing them was good. Exactly. Killing them was bad. Exactly. And that division was not entirely racial, but it was racialized, that's for sure. And, you know, to taking a step back to just the very like the logical proof of lai lai hei wa lau, just that there can be no God but one God. That's the definition like infinity equals infinity, right? Like the oneness, as you said, like made from the, I also, I don't want to go away, you know, made you from different tribes so that you may know each other. And then like, yeah, there's, there's gonna be differences in the world. You know, we all kind of come from one soul and that's, we come to the dunya to experience this and to be separate, to know each other, but that, that oneness is kind of what we come back to. Yeah. Yeah. And also, I was going to say to offer like another piece that really inspired me or kind of changed my thinking versus traditionally is the concept of, I believe it's being born and fitra, right? Being born and fitra. You know, I love like that explanation of concept that, you know, in a sense, we're not born and sin, you know, like my whole life, it was from the way I was taught, you know, we were born in this world. We, you know, we all kind of have like this good and bad nature and that the mission in our life is to fight to be good over our natural evil selves. And in a way like, I didn't feel that, you know, like, and so when I heard like the explanation of like a concept of like fitra, you know, that we're all born like knowing the most high. And initially, like we already professed like, to him, you know, to our creator, you know, before we were born, to me, that made a lot more sense to me, it made a lot more sense that once we get out in this dunya or this outside world, that, you know, all these influences will come at us. And in the concept of, you know, shaitan, you know, wanting to try to convince us that we're not worthy or capable of, of doing better or turning back to God, you know, and so I love, you know, there was a part in the Quran that I read that stuck out to me as well, where it talked about how it tells you, oh, son of Adam, you know, your sins can, you know, stack as high as the heavens or as high as the sky. And as long as you make toba, as long as you turn around and repent, that, you know, that, that a lot of most, a lot of what's all it will like forgive you, you know, will give you that grace, the most gracious to ever merciful. To me, that's like, like, that's what the world needs, you know, the world needs to know that you can change, you know, you can make a turn in a sense. And if you mess up again, you can make that turn again, you know. So that's what I love about Islam, man. And also, me and my brothers. That's a well, it's super that you brought that up, because as you was talking so many different times, I was thinking that, that picture, like you, as you said, like going to the museum and like something there, like, it's like, you already knew it. You just didn't know that you knew it. So then like, and that's a similar experience, you know, that I had throughout my life. And I've heard from a lot of other Muslims, like you were, you already muslim, you just didn't know it yet. It was like that shahada was that final, like, sort of acknowledgement, really, of what you know. And that's a, you know, some people say, it's just on the same revert, instead of convert. It's linguistic. So we all know that ultimately that we all come from the same source and we all return to the same source. And that it's there with us. And especially for the world, as you said, boy, if people could have a greater sense of the oneness and not, I'm not trying to be critical here. It's just thinking about it is, yeah, we don't have to be bad people. We're born to be bad people. Like people have good instinct. They want to treat each other right. You want to treat even like animals, right? And all that. So that's in you. You can nurture it. And if you messed up, it's okay. That's all amazing. Amazing stuff. Thank you for sharing. Just to pivot a little bit, I suppose. The kind of question always comes up for Converse and you mentioned a little bit about your father. Different people have had different experiences as far as like family dealing with the shahada. How has it been for you with your family? In my situation, I personally feel like, you know, I've heard a lot of other experiences as well. And fortunately enough, I haven't faced any extreme, like, you know, discontent about my choice to be Muslim or to change my faith. But in a sense, I have experienced different levels of, you know, people kind of like doubting the genuineness or doubting, like, you know, like, like, oh, like, when did you decide to become, when did you decide to become spiritual? When did you decide to, you know, change your, or what would prompt you to, you know, look out, you know, some of these same questions will prompt you to kind of change your whole way of life in a sense. And for me, I don't look at it as changing my whole way of life. I look at it as finding, fine-tuning my life, you know. I feel like some of the answers, some of the answers to the questions I had have been answered. When it came to my father, my father, because I feel like, because he knew Muslims prior, I mean, he knew them to be good people and knew the opposite of what I've been shown on TV and, you know, what the mass media tries to portray. He had a very comfortable feeling about it, you know. I feel like he's one of those critical thinkers and people who question everything. So if anything, he just asks me, like, you know, are you sure? Or like, you know, did you really do some research on this? Did you just watch a movie? Or did you just, you know, and for me, I feel like we didn't have any major battles. My mom, in a sense, right? Wow. My mom is a very devout, you know, she's a very devout Christian, you know, she lives her life and I love her, you know, because she, once again, she taught me and instilled things into me. She, in a sense, was kind of like, like, dismissive, you know, but not in a bad way, but was more like, like, you know, like, yeah, yeah, I hear, like, yeah, I hear you say, you know, you know, you know, convert to Islam and stuff like that. But it was very, even if I tried to bring up, right, because I was excited when I first took Masjada, you know, so sometimes we want to jump out and share that joy and kind of like, you know, send a little iota verse out and, you know, say that. My mom's like, what does it mean? Like, you know, she's like, ah, yeah, you know, we do, I don't want to hear that right now, you know, kind of like that. Or like, or even the thought of, you know, hearing friends say stuff like, oh, you all, like, you all worship Muhammad, like, peace be upon him. And I'm like, well, that's not, you know, that's that's far from the truth. That's far from what this is about. You know, we give blessings and good tidings to him based off of how he lived his life and the sooner and things like that. And that I feel like, you know, helped me, me knowing more, me doing my own research and being kind of convicted and standing firm. After a while, people people really came to accept it. So, you know, I found it funny how my dad came out here out west to see me. We're hanging out. And this is around, like, lunchtime. He's like, hey, man, don't you got a prayer? Isn't that your time? So, I'm like, you know, laughing, like, laughing. It's like, yeah, you know, you are right. Time is coming up. So, you know, I'm thankful for that. And even back in my family history, I was surprised to find out that my father, his stepfather, who he, you know, he calls his real father and everything like that, he was Muslim. And at one point in time, when my family was very just on track on that side of the family, as far as very successful and just, you know, conscious and business wise, like he mentioned the fact that because of the way my granddad conducted itself, the way that he moved, the way that he did business with people, the way that he was just a very genuine person and always looking out that that was due to his faith and that was due to him just practicing and being who he was, who he came to be, which was Muslim, which was someone who submits to the will of the most hot. And so, yeah, I would say in my family experience, it's been well, outside of just like little random jokes and stuff people may say, like I said, like, you know, like the whole like once again, like, oh, you guys just worship Mohammed, you know, peace be upon him. Like, no, that's not it, you know, or, or, or you're going to start dressing this way or dressing that way. And it's like, nah, not really, like, you know, I like to bring up the fact that the Prophet Mohammed, peace and blessings be upon him, it seems as if he, it seems as if he loved other people's cultures, he loved for people to, you know, in a sense, you know, you can assimilate, but you don't necessarily have to lose yourself in the process, you know, and that's the beauty of Islam is so many shades and colors and nations and people all over the world who walk, talk, dress and act a different way. But when it comes time to, you know, make your Salah, you know, we're all reciting the same al-Fatiha, you know, we're all, you know, understanding the Tahir and, you know, understanding the Oneness of God. And for me, that's, that's just amazing, man, because, you know, even in my previous experience, I could go, I've been to 20, 30, 40 different churches and I've never experienced what I've walked in the building. And we've said one thing and prayed on one accord and, you know, fasted together as a whole, all in one. And so for me, Ramadan was definitely a very eye-opening experience and kind of like a deep dive into it. Yeah. That sounds like a good pivot, I suppose, because that's Ramadan now and yes, we're kind of getting into it. Yeah, I guess if you forget my memory, it's Ramadan bringing a little fuzzy. Your show was like right before Ramadan, right? Yeah, it was like, I promise, what's funny enough, right before this Ramadan, I was kind of thinking about it and I realized that I took it probably two weeks before Ramadan started. So I had heard about Ramadan a little bit before that. You know, I've heard about the concept of fasting, but I just didn't know what it, you know, I didn't know what it deeply entailed. I didn't connect, you know, the prayer aspect to it. And during that first Ramadan, I got the chance to do that. You know, it was also a time where the mosques and things like that were kind of, you know, closed down and open with COVID and everything. But for me, because I didn't have anything to compare it to previously, it didn't really seem off to me. I just thought like, hey, I guess I think this is how Ramadan is for everybody. Everybody's kind of probably, you know, doing their own thing with the individual families and maybe meet up every now and then, but to find out in here and then later on really actually see the sense of community, you know, the actual, like, you know, no, no time in my previous life that I sit with complete strangers and just sit down and share food off the same plate or, you know, or, you know, or break fast at the same exact time. And so something that was very comforting to me, comforting to me, even though, you know, during certain periods felt kind of lonely was the fact that or the thought that, you know, there are three million, four million, I don't know the number off top of my head, people around the world that are actually conducting themselves in the same way and going through similar and same emotions. So it's like, you're not alone. You know, not alone. Three million probably in this country. Yeah. Oh, wow. Probably like a billion some in the world. Yeah. Obviously, I'm not a numbers guy. No, it's not. Well, yeah, I guess, you know, that's just like straight, straight into the deep end in the first couple of weeks. And then also, yeah, a lot of people struggle, born muslim people and convert a wild COVID was isolating. Yeah. And yeah, I guess you don't, you don't know what you miss if you hadn't seen it before, but like the community of stars starting to open a little bit now and all that. But yeah, so you inshallah, no other new muslims have to go through a COVID lockdown, Ramadan again, but kind of what was just a little bit like that first Ramadan, what would like the struggles with it if you could like go back now and talk to yourself then and just like any pieces of advice or what would like the key takeaways or whatever else is like, how did it hit you that first time? Oh yeah. The first time I would say it felt like right, because I took Masha'a the two weeks before it felt like, you know, I thought I thought I was like, okay, I'm gonna, I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna go straight into some class and we're gonna go, you know, I'm gonna learn everything from A to Z, all of it, all of it right before Ramadan. And the truth is, many people told me, you know, once again, like you've told me personally, like, man, it's a marathon, it's not a sprint, you know, like take your time, like don't overwhelm yourself. So I would reiterate that back to myself and really, really just tell my like, because I would hear it and it was like kind of going one ear and out the other. I would think like, oh yeah, they're just saying that, but they're just saying that to be nice or they're just saying that to, you know, but the reality like, no, man, it is, it's a lot, you know, it's a, because I really, really wanted to grasp the full concept of Islam, like especially with, you know, converting or reverting, like, I wanted to be sure. It's not that I wanted to be sure, but I wanted to, I wanted to be sure and I wanted to be firm, you know, I wanted to be able to just like, you know, our sisters and our brothers and people all across the world who are sometimes under oppression, like they face, you know, to stand firm on your, on your faith and to stand firm on what you believe in, that's commendable, you know, that's great. You know, it's great in the cold and cool eyes that it's done you, but it's even greater to the most high, you know, a lot, so, so kind of what to Allah. And I would also jokingly say, stick to your support. Actually make sure you play in and prep for that because my first man, my first Ramadan, like there were a couple mornings, I, you know, I woke up a little bit close to close to five time, Fajr and yeah, man, missed that support. I later found out and understood, you know, that there's a blessing behind that. There's a blessing behind, you know, getting up and prepping yourself and eating and, you know, and sitting and being done well before the prayer. And so yeah, man, I would, that would be the advice I had to myself is just to continue to take your time and actually seek out the reasons why you're doing certain actions versus just doing the actions. Yeah, that's great. We appreciate you sharing. I've that's probably half a hundred other things that's going to come to my head, but man, that's a really beautiful story. It's a little strange, like, you know, telling it to the camera or whatever, like I heard, you know, and seen some of it already, but the install always be second of many more. Yeah, many more, man. I don't think I'm ever going to, man, I don't, I don't plan to change or to, you know, I feel like this is it, bro. Like, you know, like a lot of people say, you know, the Quran is perfect and the Dean is perfect. And what it is, is that I feel like it's a perfect system, just like with anything in a sense, maybe imperfect people, you know, which is not something to be ashamed of, which is not something to gloat over. Like there are a lot more great and good people that I've met on this journey to Islam and in this life. And, you know, on this journey, this Dean that I feel like can help keep me afloat. And I've been surprised to find other people and, you know, brothers and sisters I've met, you know, that, you know, maybe have been born Muslim or had this Dean for a while, who said they felt rejuvenated over been like, Hey, like, nah, you inspire me, you know, so I find that cool because it's weird. It's like, nah, like, you inspire me at first like, nah, you know, we talking like, nah, you inspire me. Yeah, we keep we keep each other accountable, man. And that's one of the best things I love about this Dean, man. And, you know, just want to keep going, man. And hopefully, one day share some light to other family and friends. And, and just so they can have the same sense of peace that I have, because I feel like no matter what I go through now, or no matter the feelings that, you know, we may have like, there's an answer. And, you know, there's an answer five times a day. You can do that five times a day and even more, you know, that's just the established times, you know. And I believe it was a treat I went to. And I heard someone say, you know, look at, look at making it's a lot like, you know, you got a meeting, you know, when you go to work, you're not late, right? You know, when you go to work, you make sure you're there on time, right? Like, why not show it for the person or for the one, for the one that created you, you know, for the one that gave you life. And that just stuck, that stuck with me, you know, even if it's five, 10 minutes a day, like we can take that time, you know. One other thing you talked before, maybe think of, you kind of brought back up a little bit, it's like the power of the little dhalwa, like not even just like going out and handing Quran, which is not so much a blessing to do. And the brother who gave you the Quran, like, but without telling you, hey, you want a Quran, it was just having it there. And it was just being kind and forgiving and merciful, which, which your cousin, it was, right? Like, and the adab, or even like the character of your friend was Ros. Yeah. Yeah. Without him, necessarily even trying to push it. Exactly. Living it. Exactly. And I, and that's what I would say. That's what I would say stuck to me the most, man. Like, and I think it's very important that because I've kind of observed some things since being Muslim, I've seen that and sometimes in circles and spaces, we can kind of, you know, even as Muslims, maybe close ourselves off or like, you know, you just assume that that person may not want to hear what you have to say or be open or, but you never know, man. Like you got to, you know, I still wanted to this day go back to that same, you know, corner store and tell that guy, Hey, man, like, you know, you helped me kick this thing off in a sense. You know, I called my friend Ros and he was just emotional. You know, at the time was just like, yo, you know, this and keep in mind, we didn't speak properly for like, maybe two years. Like, and I mean, this just on and off, you know, things people spread out. And so when he found out, like, Hey, man, like, whoa, like you, you really like you took, you took the leap, like, like welcome home. You know what I mean? And I was just like, that was an amazing feeling to experience. I also say that just funny enough, once again, just adding to it's that piece of, like you said, a little dollar here and there, I had a, you know, in college, I joined a fraternity and different little club organization schools. And one of my, one of my frat brothers was Muslim. And the thing is, you know, I didn't realize at the time his name was Mo, short for Mohammed, you know, peace and blessings be upon him. And interesting enough, like when I look back at it, Mo operated differently than most of my other frat brothers, you know, we would, we would go out, we do community surveys, we, you know, hang out, we probably, you know, party or throw some social events. But when it came down to certain social events, when it came down to alcohol and things like that, Mo wasn't a part of that, you know, like, but not even in a way that was just like, Oh, all of you guys are, this is not that like, no, he was a very like, he just led by example, you know, when I went to Mo's house to hang out, you know, his house was a certain way, he had a certain peace to it. It was, it was clean. It was like, Hey, if you can take your shoes off of the door, please, you know, and just realizing that, you know, his, his wife, his kids, you know, in a way, they operated was just very, very cool, very beautiful, very, I thought to myself, if I one day maybe want to start a family or a growth and this is kind of whatever system he's following or whatever kind of has him structured, that's, that's kind of what I want. You know what I mean? And I'm still kind of figuring that out. What funny enough, but yeah, man, I think that once again, I think that man, the world needs it. So when it comes to dollar, man, if you have the chance, if you have somebody that you know, who may be open to hear, all it takes is just putting that, just putting it out there and just taking it off from there. Never know. It might be 10 years, whatever down the line, just plant a little seed. You never know how it'll come back. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I keep my phone. I don't know about the clock. I feel like we probably called a raffle. We lose people, but I really appreciate you coming out, sharing your story with us. And I know it's not easy to be so open with the world, but like you said, it's a lot of different tribes and backgrounds and everything. So when we know each other, you never know who might find this, who might find it beneficial. So yeah, it may a lot reward you for all the benefit that the Uma and everyone else may receive from viewing this. And thank you. Thank you again. And thank you. You're my brother. You know what I mean? Like we just to get to get those reminder texts every now and then to get checked up on to me, it means a lot. You know what I mean? To get his opportunity to speak and to, you know, I've seen other videos and things like this as well that, you know, I looked at, I really looked into and to me, you know, the work that's being put out there, you know, humbly is very, I feel like it's great. You know, it's attractive. Like you said, you never know who's going to touch man. And so, you know, I'm glad to, for all who are watching this, you know, I appreciate you all and I look forward to making us, making us a lot with you in the future. InshaAllah. InshaAllah. Yeah. And vice versa brother. I mean, if you were surprised to see it brother, you just, you radiate newer, like you've got such a bright positive spirit that kind of reinvigorated my mind as well, just like knowing you've been a positive influence on me as well as like, man, that's the, that's the kind of spirit we all, all want to have. You might be new to it, but true to it. So yeah, I mean, so good, smiley character and adopted that you represent so well. So thanks.