 Hi she rest seven I'm back. So I had a request to do a video for you guys today about how being too independent can push me away from you and make them not want to approach you or make your relationships fail or you know, not good. So I thought that was an interesting request and I do believe that being overly too independent as a woman will kind of attract the wrong type of men and also will repel the kind of men you actually want. Like a lot of independent women who make a lot of money and are financially well off or you know have their own business or like high up in their career. They seem to have a lot of masculine energy which repels men who are masculine as well. A lot of men will say oh I want a woman who's you know makes money but as soon as they find out you make more money than them did what then they don't feel like the man anymore and they feel like it's a competition and then after a while they feel like oh well I can't prove myself to her because you know I'm not man enough I don't make enough money as her I can't do anything else for her as she can't do for herself so only thing she really needs me for is sex but she can get that anywhere. I want to go feel like a real man somewhere else so I'm gonna go find a woman who doesn't make as much money who expects less and who will look up to me like a big man you know. So that's a lot of reason that's a lot of the reason that a lot of women get cheated on who are independent because usually they aim you know they aim for men who aren't as you know well off sometimes and sometimes they aim for men who are too well off who want that really ultra feminine woman who doesn't mind putting her career second or not even really pursuing a serious career because she knows that when she settles down and gets married that's gonna be her life. So a lot of very successful men won't even pursue a woman that's too busy to have kids or to give them the attention that they feel like they have earned and deserved from working so hard you know. So they will kind of stray away from the independent type you know and it's it's I'm not downing any independent women because we have to take care of ourselves these days you know. In this world in this day and age a lot of men especially like in the last few years are not being the men that they were supposed to be you know they're leaving behind children they're leaving families they're you know jumping from woman to woman and leaving behind a trail of like illegitimate children broken relationships and you know upset women and just the same as a lot of men are being mistreated emasculated and you know ignored by independent women who really don't need them for too many things you know so it's kind of like if you're an independent woman you make a lot of money. You should find either your exact equal that you can build a business with and build things with and it can't be a competition but men are naturally competitive by nature so that's why I think that a lot of times these relationships just don't ever work out for the best and some do but you know under a lot of you know hard work a lot of trials and tribulations a lot of a lot of men cheat a lot of men will cheat on an independent woman beg her forgiveness come back because they needed to feel like they were imported and they were a priority and they were a big man and they were you know masculine to someone else because they don't feel that way with their independent woman okay so you know I just feel like if you're going to be independent don't boast about it don't brag about it don't let people know like if you're dating don't let people know what you do you know that's that's not really who you are you know if you associate yourself with what you do then you don't know who you really are because your job or your career it's not who you are it's just something you do okay so you know talk yourself down a little bit and I know a lot of women will get mad when I say talk yourself down but it's for a good reason okay because you want to see first of all when you start dating you want to see how bold this man's ego is and how great and granted is and how masculine he feels when he thinks that he actually is doing better than you okay you need to witness this for yourself and then just for an experiment tell him what you really do and how much you earn and watch him shrink and dwindle and start to not take you as seriously this is the sad world we live in so you're gonna have to understand that I always say you know unless you're married and getting ready to do your taxes together I don't think men and women should know how much each other make especially men who are dating career women I don't think that he should know how much she makes just for the sake of the relationship in his ego okay it might not be a lot she should lie and say oh I don't make that much and save her money and let him use his money and spend why because it makes him feel like a man and she's saving you know she can save up and do whatever she needs to do with that money invest blah blah blah he doesn't have to know my mom always says never let your left hand know what your right hand is doing okay you don't have to be open and honest about every single detail of your life to be your with a life partner and be a soulmate and whatever whatever no you know why that'll take the mystery out of it that will create boredom and make you want to go somewhere else okay you don't have to know every single thing about the person you're with I you know what my husband never knew how much money I made when I first met him and a lot of y'all think I was broke and whatever whatever but I had some money okay I came from money I had money my sister had money but he never knew that because if he had known that he wouldn't have done the things that he did for me okay he wouldn't have paid my bills he wouldn't have paid my car note he wouldn't have paid for trips he wouldn't have done any of that if he thought that I could afford it he might have paid for a few things and he might have asked me oh he would you have this one or maybe you could put something towards it he didn't even know I had it and the reason that he was so outgoing generous and giving because it made him feel like a man and like he was masculine and that he could handle his business okay that's why you never let your left handle your right hand do because they need to be able to feel that about themselves when it comes to the woman that they care about okay now I know you'll say oh well if he loves you it shouldn't matter it matters it matters okay it matters because his friends his family you know they they see him his friends might joke around oh your woman makes more money than you you know and it matters okay men's ego are very fragile so if you even have money don't let him know don't pay for stuff you know just say oh you know i'm not making any money i'm just i'm barely make i'm barely you know i'm i'm i'm doing pretty good but i'm not yeah i don't have anything to offer you know everything i go have goes to bills and blah blah blah or to student loans or make up something but don't ever let him in know you have money even if you do you know if you or if you're a work at a corporate office and you make a lot of money just tell him oh i'm you know i i work at a corporate office and sometimes you know um you know i make up a position that doesn't make a lot of money they don't know what you do they don't have to know what you do unless they're getting ready to marry you and then all of a sudden you can get a promotion after they feel like you know and still don't tell him how much you make um i'm telling you all this for a reason ladies okay i'm gonna tell you all the story about when i used to date guys with a lot of money and i was a so-called independent woman i learned from my own mistakes y'all okay so before my husband um i i was dating a lot of men with lots of money millionaires like millionaires okay but i wasn't i was like in school i was working i was like oh you know i had money i was like my mom had money she would just give me money i was like oh no i don't need your money oh no i'm not gonna do that you know oh no i was just being like really snobbish and i saw how they looked like you know i would drive up in in a car a nice car and they their face would just be like like i can't do nothing for her i can't impress her she's already got nice stuff she already you know um so it's kind of like a disappointment to men sometimes when they know that they can't impress you or do anything for you and so they get bored with you really quick and they want to move on to someone else so they can see this face thank you what do you do again oh my god you're so smart you must be like big boss man blah blah i know it's playing dumb and silly that's what they like okay so fast forward a few few more years um i learned my lesson i'm like okay you know i'm out of school now i'm working i'm around rich men all day and i see the interaction i see how they look at you know their uh colleagues i see how they look at women i see how they talk about women because i work in a predominantly male industry and i see what they like okay i worked around men a lot and they like women who need them okay even though they might not think they do the look on their face when a woman is into what they're saying impressed by them infatuated by what they do for a living you know giving them praise they love that they eat it up versus a woman saying oh i already know that i know what to do don't worry about it i got this you know what oh no don't worry about it i got it i'll pay for it and they're just like they look like a little kid you know who's grabbing for their change at the checkout to buy their own gum and then their mom says oh no baby i got it put it back that's how they're looking okay so you don't want to do that to your man you always let them pay no matter how much money you got okay don't let them know how much you make that's number one okay if you drive a nice car make up an excuse while you have a nice car oh this was my mom's car she gave it to me oh never tell them that what you're capable of okay never tell them what you're capable of and then if you're smart you get them to pay that card out okay and i'm not i'm not i'm not being like a gold digger but they need to feel useful okay they have to feel useful if you can do everything for yourself they're gonna get bored of you you know thing life needs contrast you know he needs to be able to feel like he's your hero in some sort of way and if it's through paying a car note a bill or whatever let him do it you know if you're if you're not if you're not there yet with the car note give him a small bill cable bill something you know and this is not if he lives with you this is if y'all are just dating and in a serious relationship if he lives with you he needs to pay all the bills you know um especially the rent now i understand if y'all the same age and struggling and stuff like that but he needs to be paying majority of the of the things okay so he feels like the man because when y'all start arguing and y'all are in that apartment or house or whatever and you bring it up oh i pay the rent here or i pay more bills than you now he doesn't feel like a man anymore now he's gonna go run to another woman to make him feel like a man okay that's why you have to let them pay so that when y'all do argue he can say well i'll pay all the bills and i'll do this and that and you don't do anything and you can be like you know you're right you know you're my man that's you you take care of me you supposed to do that blah blah blah and he'd be like yeah that's right i'm supposed to do that and what do you do and now you're pushing it further and his head so your next move is to get him to get you something else okay well now let you know you're supposed to do that and the words came out of your mouth hmm what else are you supposed to do okay well i'm you know i'm tired of working i'm gonna quit and just stay home you know maybe we could start our family you know we can get married whatever get married before you start the family okay um and he'll be like well you know i guess i can afford it since i've been paying all the bills anyway you know that there see you have to make people think it's their idea in order to get your way then when it comes down to it well you told me i could well you said you was the big man you know you said this and then when you're in front of his friends or your friends brag on him brag yeah he takes care of everything he's such a good man i'm a lucky woman and that's going to even make him believe in what he's doing even more okay so independent woman independent women stay independent keep your mouth closed about it don't tell him how much you make save your money make him pay for your stuff okay okay and maybe in the future when y'all are married after a few years or whatever and y'all get ready to buy a big house your credit's good you got this money saved and bam you have your dream house and just tell him it was a gift from some long-lost relatives so he doesn't expect anymore okay so ladies secrets always keep your man longer mystery keep a man longer let him feel like a man keeps your man longer and happy and and feeling masculine and not running to other women to validate him because you can't okay so listen to women who pretend who act okay i told y'all i was independent when i met my husband i had but i was in school i was working my mom had money i had a nice car you know i had barely i didn't have any kids i could go shopping buy whatever i wanted you know i had i had it you know i was young but i was independent you know i was what was independent as a 22 year old could get but i needed to see if he was the man that i was going to marry i needed to see if he was going to pay everything not let me work and take care of me provide and do all that kind of stuff i needed to see that okay and he didn't know i had anything okay he just assumed i didn't have nothing okay um and i let him assume and i never told him how much money i had saved or i had no debt or you know my mom makes this much money you know or this whatever whatever he had no idea okay he had no idea but he didn't know he had no idea of the kind of the man i used to date that made way more money than him he had no idea but let me tell you when he felt his purpose and he felt like he could care and take care of me that's when he you know wanted to do more and more okay so independent women let your men take care of you if they can't take care of you because you're too strong you're too masculine you're you do everything for yourself they're going to go find a woman who lets them be a man okay and i'm trying to be rude or mean you know you know i know a lot of women can't find a man and they just have accepted their independence and that's fine if you're going to accept your independence then accept it and don't complain about men they say you know what i don't need a man except for pleasure and company you know i have everything i need i don't want a man to give it to me i like giving things to myself and earning them myself and this is just who i am i'm a strong-willed woman and i can't bend i'm an alpha woman so whatever she or seven is saying is garbage yes to some people what i'm saying is garbage because they have already claimed that they don't need a man and that they're independent and they just want men you know for you know when they get bored okay and that's fine but i'm talking about women who are independent but still want a man and don't know what's wrong okay we know that there's women that are on one side and are totally fine being independent and single and then there's women on the other side who are independent but don't want to be single and i'm just trying to let them know what could be driving these men away what to do when you're in a relationship with a man blah blah blah blah okay as for men you know y'all know the game y'all know the tricks of a tree y'all been watching this channel whatever y'all still fall for it anyway every day so and it's not really falling for it that's basically what you're supposed to do you're supposed to provide and protect for your woman and child and family anyway you know i don't know why y'all think y'all supposed to be doing something else um you know it's not like if you don't want to get married then don't get married it's not it's not your problem if you don't want to be in a relationship and provide then don't be in a relationship and provide but if you are in a relationship and you are married stop complaining and do your job you know what i'm saying so you know i don't i don't i don't know how to put it nice um without boring you so i just say it how it is and i that's the only thing i can do some people love me some people hate me but hey i'm i'm still doing what i do i live how i live i'm happy i have the things i want and need so i guess i'm doing something right all right i'll see y'all later bye