 It's alright, back and forth. Could do it. Exercise, TBH. Welcome to another video. I've been away for a bit. I've just not been posting or filming much because my noggin's been all over the place. Falling. That's not the way to go, is it? I'd be back to swear one if I fell in like a bit. Noggin, I didn't... I didn't plow. That's it. Let's get Clobber off and go and plunge the plum. I'll get him when he comes back in. I'm so cl... Let's have it. He's brand new. I couldn't keep film rolling the whole time I was in there, but I was probably in there for about an hour and forty minutes. Hour and forty-five. Just breathing. Didn't even feel it. Feel it in knob. I think my knob shrunk to about eight and a half inches or something. Something humiliating like that. With the wellies gone. Let's go and get a fire going, get digits warmed up. Come on. So, titanium. No less. Top five, easy top five best bits of kit I've ever owned this. I absolutely love it. I shall leave a link below to it if you want to check it out yourself. It's an amazing little stuff. Got a cramp ball, King Alfred's cake, coal fungus, whatever you want to call it. If you're a regular watcher of the channel, you'll know all about these if you've dipped your toe into bushcraft. But for people who don't know, it's a fungus. It's a bracket fungus. Use SE3, get that on there. Even fluff it up a little bit if you need to. There you go. And once you catch it with one, you're good to go there. There you go, look. And now we need flames, don't we? There we go. That's fire. Get sticks in. Come on. All right, Digit's back alive. I'll be honest with you, I'm probably going to run out of light here and not be able to do another failed attempt, isn't it? One for cutting room floor. They stay still. That wind's picking up, look. It's just a... Do you know what, mate? It's our graft. So I went away for a week in Tenerife with Fern and then I got back and I thought, oh, like, a week's holiday hiking fresh air, that should sort of nogging out, shouldn't it? But straight, like, Fern lives down south, I live up north. I went back home to north and just... Ed just crumbled in on itself. I haven't held her anything. Anything. Just been like... Forget it. I went out to try and do a film. I went out to try and do some wild swimming. Q-Clip. He's cold. Hello. Welcome to another video. I've come out to find this body of water that I've never swam in before and I thought, right, it's completely frozen over. I can't get in, but... She was trying to get in anyway. This time, he hit me digits here. I know I keep banging on about it, but... It gets worse every year, mate. Doing a bit. Oh, there's blokes up there, look now. There's dog walkers over there now, so I'm just going to look mentally at these speedos trying to break through this ice. I'm going to have to go somewhere else. We can't do it. We can't do it. I'm trying my best. The only thing is, it's running out of light. No. It's absolutely solid. I can't get in. Just let me live. Let me just give you a tenor reef hiking video. I know a couple of people are, like, unsubs... said, oh, we're going to unsubscribe because it's not what we signed up for. I like your channel. I've followed you for years, the recent videos we've, like, doing prickly pears and hiking and that, like, nah, I'm off. See you later, mate. Don't let the doorknob hit you where the good lord split you, because... exactly what they said, mate, they've been following me for years, so you've had years of me freezing my digits off, and then I go and have a bit of sunshine when my girlfriend and I do a hike, and they're like, I'm off. Can't handle this. He's too happy. What do you want? What's lying like? You know what I mean? You'd rather just be depressed, wouldn't you, and just getting pissed and falling in ice and that. Right, let's go try and find somewhere else that's not full of people and that you can actually get in. Come on. So I did that. Couldn't get it together. Then I went out in van or sat waiting to get it together, and I just haven't been able to do out. Right, this is... I'm filming this on my phone. This is one of them times. I did a video, a couple of videos back where I spoke about sitting in my van and trying to get out. And I'm here. This is what I'm in. I've been sat here for ages like... I want to go... I've sat out to come and do a wild swim, like a dip, just because... Sometimes it's the only thing I can think of to sort my head out. And it does, it sorts my head out, and I'm just stuck in here. So I've put my phone on, just to hold myself accountable. I thought, if I film this on my phone, just saying like, why can't I do it? And I'm... Even now, I'm more likely to do it, aren't I? And I feel like I might. It's a false start, mate. New Year's Eve, false start. Can we start? Can we start in February, please? I'm even, as I'm sat here, I feel like... I feel very positive now. I feel I'm in a good space, and, you know, I'm going to put this out, even if I lose my light, or this fire goes out, or whatever. Because I'm in a good space, but man, I haven't been. Like I say, I've had, like, not posted anything on Instagram for about a month, not been focusing on YouTube, not been anything really, not doing anything really on the Internet. Because, nodding hasn't been there. I think a lot of people might want to know how I got out of it. And when I say it, what is it? What is it? Well, it looks different to everyone, doesn't it? I mean, I'm sure some people have it. And when I say it, it's mental issues. You know, when circus starts going a little bit wild, or not wild, when it just starts going just void the void, isn't it? The void. And it's, you know, I mean, there's different levels of severity for it. I'm sure for everyone, and everyone's is tailor-made for their own personal nodding. But, yeah, man just looks like, I've got no limit, can you see out now? Man just looks like a mixture of frantic brain, like hyperactive brain, and then just void, not being able to do out, mate, not having any motivation to do anything, just bad thoughts and made about everything, and just, no, then just nothing. Just nothing, like, if someone's going to be like, oh, mate, you're going to, I'm just going to chuck this, I don't know, just anything, like, oh, there's a, you know, there's a nuclear bomb going to go off in your garden, or whatever, just be like, all right. Nothing, just void of any sort of emotion, really. And then you just get, you doubt yourself dirty and you're like, oh, you know, man. How do you get out of it? Well, the thing is, it's not to forget that you're in it, that you've got it. Sometimes I'll be like, I feel good, I'm like, oh, I'm fixed. I'm going all the day, I've got, you know, everything could be great in your life, you know. And everything is, I've got my health, a loving family, I've got a wonderful girlfriend and everything's good and you can take your foot off, you can take your eye off the ball and then it's like, it reminds you, it's like, oh, but don't forget, you've got an unstable brain and then it's like, oh, yeah. I remember. I remember that. It's like, you've got to always be, I've got to always be mindful of it. It's like the Hulk, I guess, you know, like Bruce Banner's got to always be mindful or he'll turn into Hulk. It's like that, but less powerful. Instead of like a green super, it's more like just a gray void. Or whatever. The void. Carol Voiderman. And like, let's, let's just chat. Let's just chat about it. Like I say, man, it's been an ongoing battle for a, for a while with Noodle. And it sort of came to an end at last year, beginning of last year and I lost my, I was like, Ed went completely out. I was so out of shape, man. I got, I got all fat and out of shape. Q-Clip. That's me. That's me just relaxed. That's relaxed, look. Set of cans on me. Just chilling with Kite out. Could it? It's not good enough. Let's sort it. And there it is. And that was it, man. I just got out of shape, but I managed to, to get myself back into shape and start doing like things that were good for me and that and that got me on right track and I've done it again. When I felt myself slipping off and bad habits creeping in and things like that, I've pulled myself out of it and it isn't easy. And I know a lot of people talk about it like mental health, especially men's mental health. It's something that I've tried to shed a light on for a long time. It's not just a recent thing. I remember years ago I took a turnip camping. I might be wondering why I'm out camping with a turnip face. To raise awareness for mental health. I didn't know what I was doing but I just took a turnip camping. I started the show as your steak challenge which went viral. I'm going to cook a steak. I'm going to make it the best steak I possibly can. Hopefully I won't botch it. But if I do, that's life. And then I'm going to tag three people. Just voice men's mental health. Just voice it, just say it. The reason I'm doing this is because of men's mental health. That will help. I promise you it will help. It shows your steak. It's not like it shows your dick is it? It shows you... Nah. If it shows your pork that might, that sounds a little bit more like it shows your dick but... I think it shows your steak is a good one. Quite catchy. It shows your steak. S-O-S! Show... Oh no, it didn't show us your... S-U-Y-S. Alright. Forget that. I did the barefoot three peaks. Six peaks because I did the Yorkshire as well. You don't have to suffer on your own. You don't have to suffer in silence. I'll leave some numbers below to people that you can talk to if you want. I don't mind being an advocate for it or a spokesman. I don't mind doing these videos where I just speak candidly and honestly about my own experience with it. And I know a lot of it is like... It's kind of afforded to you, isn't it? I think that's maybe why everyone suffers because we're just... We're not living in harmony without how we used to live back in the day. When it was just simply shelter, feed yourself, play and do all these things just geared up to make you feel a bit sad and a bit like wanting. Like you're not right. I don't know. I just don't know, mate. So how do I get out of it? Well, while swimming, like we've just done today, is a metaphor. I've been doing while swimming for years and years and I never really labelled it as something that would help my mental health. It was just something that connected me to nature or if I'd had a heavy one, I would go and just have a while swim just to blow the cobwebs of the day out, you know. I'll take my stick so I can break through ice on my way in. All right, here we go. No! How can I get out? Like, I feel brand new now. I've got that tingling in my skin and I feel great and that's amazing, but it symbolises something more, especially in winter because it symbolises me overcoming something that I don't want to do and it's a sign that I'm on the right track and my brain's there because when I'm not on it and brain's not there, I will sit in my car or stand by its side at river or whatever and I just won't do it. I won't want to do it. But when my noodle's right, like today, I'm just in there and then I get out and I know that I've conquered something there and I'll carry that on. I've booked to go tomorrow, I'm setting off for a multi-day hike in winter. It's going to be about between five and eight days. It's going to take me. That's something that I wouldn't do without this inertia, without this like, I've been going while swimming, I've been walking, I've been doing everything off-camera, just doing it for me. But it's not easy. I don't have a magic like where to do it. And I keep saying the same thing, but it's just little victories, man. And also, because we all work, don't we? You've got to get up, you've got a graft, you've got to make money, you've got to look after your family, look after your friends. It's a tough gig. On top of all that, you're like, oh, I've got to sort my noggin out. And so just every sort of time that I would get to myself, any me time or any what, yeah, any me time, I would just use it for myself. Do something nice for yourself. Just cook yourself a nice meal, healthy meal. Or go for a little walk. Just do something that's good for you each day and it builds, man, it's like. And at first it seems daunting and it is just that one little thing, make your bed, brush your teeth, do a few sit-ups, phone a friend or text a friend. All these little things, keep doing it, but make sure you do at least one thing every day. And it makes everything else easy and it builds up, builds up until you start becoming invincible again. And then when I'm in it, like now I just feel invincible, like I could hike. I could just do anything now, I feel like, I do feel invincible now. But it's been that like, you've got to slowly put the layers of your armor back on bit by bit. And it's not easy and it's not the same for everyone, but it's doable. And you, if you're watching this and you're in a rut and you're struggling or whatever, you can start now. Like after this video, obviously watch the video first guys, but after this video right now you can just start now. Do something good, text someone, tell them something mint about them. Go for a run, cook yourself something nice. Look in the mirror and tell yourself something nice about yourself that you respect about yourself and build on it. And we're just going to build from there. And you've got it mate, you've got this. You've got this. If I can do it, you can do it. We can do it. Anyway. So, right, let's make this hot chocolate anyway. I'm waffling on. I've got a deluxe hot chocolate. Let's get into it. Are you watching? Come here. Sorry, waffling on too much. Milk. We're going for a big whopper. Absolute whoppy, not chocolate though. Any milk you like can be... Ah, dirt. Yeah, yeah, dirt. It can be plant milk, cow milk, don't matter. Come on, trivets. Actual chocolate, mate. Don't worry about it. In with the chocolate, generous amounts. Because we want to melt a lot in there. That's a lot. We're making a mega one though. Wonderful. Honey. Just a little bit. So, you don't want to bring it to the boil, but you just want to melt that chocolate off. That's about there, look. That's about there. Without burning, mate. Is it going to burn me? There. If you eat that. Off. Lid on to keep it warm. Give that a toast in. Calm down. And then that goes in hot chocolate, doesn't it? Obser. Cut that, man. Cheers. Good health. Hey, wha. That is good. Toasted marshmallow or chocolate. You're welcome. That's too good. That should be legal. Yeah, I just wanted to... Okay, now look at that. Man. That's good. It's a bit of a full start, but the real 2023 starts in February, doesn't it? Come on. A lot of solo trips planned. I'm off on one tomorrow. It's going to be like six or seven days. I'll bring that to you. It's going to be a tough one because it's winter. I feel like I want a challenge. I feel like I want to be out in my comfort zone. And I've just got a lot of stuff, man. Just a lot of solo stuff. And me and Fern will be doing a few hikes together as well. I do appreciate everybody who has stuck with me and who is sticking with me. And I send you nothing but the old L-O-V-E. Loove. I send you out but Loove. And speaking of love, this is the one. Real chocolate, mate. Just get some real chocolate and just put it through cheese grater or whatever. With some warm milk. Touch your cellar malo. Get it on there. And you live in La Vida Loca. I'll finish this up and get my fire squared away. Oh, that's warmed me up there. I'm off on an adventure tomorrow. A big hike. And that's going to be a series. So I think the next video that I drop on here will be another hike from Tenerife. Here we are. Look at this. And it's just because the wind has just come up this valley and just whipped all these rocks over a long time. Hundreds of years. I'm no geologist to do it there. A long time. Months. But I am back. I feel good now. So if you're struggling yourself, my advice to you is just little sort of, little bite-sized pieces. It's hard to look at the big picture sometimes but if you just zoom in, you can make it a lot easier. Go for a walk. Go for a run. Just make your bed, brush your teeth. Just little tiny things. Tell yourself that you're good enough. Oh, I'm here. I feel like... This you are. Oh, mate. What is it? I'm either hiking and having a time of my life and getting stuck in or having an existential crisis. See you later. Oh, dear me. Tiny little steps. Doing the right thing, making the right choices. For you, be selfish. Because no one else can benefit from you unless you're right yourself. And so do these little changes. Just even if it's not massive, you might get home from work. And instead of just like sitting in your pit or wallowing or whatever it is, just do one little thing. Go for a run. Go for a walk. It might just seem like some at little, but the next day it'll be easier and the next day and like... It's a long game, mate. All this nogging thing. It's a long game. And you can build your armor back up, get back out there and smash the living daylights out of it because you've only got one, haven't we? We've only got one, so let's make best of it. Obviously make best of it. I don't know what's going on. I'm just a bag of organs spinning around on this rocket in the middle of nowhere. I have no idea. I only know what I know in my own nogging and I'm trying to get it across to try and help anyone else who's struggling a little bit and just say what I did to get myself out of it because I'm out through the other end now. It's only when you get out through the other end that you realise how mulled you were when you were in it, when you were in the zone. So it's important for me to tell you while it's fresh in my brain of how I dealt with it and what I felt like. And if anybody gets some out of this sort of video, then it's worth it for me. It's worth it because I know I've grown and I look for stuff on YouTube or search things that'll help me just like motivation and whatever and when I find it, it means a lot to me. Like if someone makes me laugh or if someone motivates me, it means a lot to me and if I know that I can do that to someone else then that's my job done and I'm happy. Right, I'm off. I'm on a big hike tomorrow so stay tuned for that. I love you all. Take care of yourselves. It's a good place when you're doing them ones, aren't you? Them big walk backs. See you. See you later.