 And like, I'll give example with people I have addicted personality. I quit drinking alcohol before it's in vogue now like I quit 910 10 years ago, I think now like I don't drink a sip of alcohol. Whoa, nothing. I fucking quit that shit. You smoke used to a long time ago. My smoking story is the most funny is fucking smoking story of all time. I got time. So I try to quit forever. Like I mean cigarettes or you mean weed? Never got to weed. I didn't like it. It's not good for my personality. Maybe slow. I'm like very hyperactive. Okay, cocaine. I did fuck that. I used to sniff cocaine and eat together. That was my favorite drug. Yeah, I would call it Tony Smurf. And yeah, yeah, yeah. So I try to quit like six, seven times cigarettes and I was a pretty big smoker like I party four days a week. I drank in the club. I was a club hopping nonstop bottle service cocaine, ecstasy and like a pack and a half or two packs of no problem like binge. Okay, nothing worked. What worked believe it or not is I was having a basketball game with a bunch of younger and I think I was like, I think I quit when I was like 19. Yeah, something like that. And they fucking killed me because I was out of breath. I like I wasn't conditioned whatsoever. And I'm like my ego got destroyed. I'm like, dude, like these little fucking kids fucking beat me in basketball and I love that. And that was the catalyst you up. Yeah, bro, I got mad. I got angry like shit. And so I quit then and there but I was quite aware of my triggers and made me smoke coffee cigarettes. It's like yeah, they had chemical engineers design those two things to go together. Seriously. And so I alcohol here. Yeah, exactly. Wow, there man I quit I I pause I pause drinking alcohol and pause drinking coffee for a year. At that point. Wow. It didn't go to a club didn't go to a bar anyone to smoke around me I just left like I couldn't be in the environment and this circles back to your genetics is like your environment has to be conducive to your success. So if you're depressed and you're in a environment that is not conducive to your success like you have a partner that's an enabler or you're working in a work environment that's putting extreme social pressures on some form of pressure. I don't care what you do it's going to like don't be wrong like the medication or the diet that you do will help to degree until you get your ass out of the environment like it's not you're not going to solve anything exactly. No, you're right and it's interesting. I tried to this was years ago tried to go to a depression support group. This was back in like 2010 and it wasn't pure support there's like a depression support group with anyone who is going through a hard time and dealing with depression you're all in a circle just think of what you've seen in the movies that kind of thing like a set up and that made me feel so much worse because everyone would just you just go around in the circle talking about the problems in your life. If you're depressed the worst thing you can do is to hang out with someone else who's depressed seriously we think it's good because all we can connect with someone and they'll understand and they're feeling what I'm feeling but that's not going to get you in it might make you feel heard for a second but it's not conducive to actually getting you to rise above it right you need to hang out with people who have maybe been through it and they're on the mend or they're on the other side or people who cheese maybe people who don't even understand depression and maybe won't take it too seriously they just want to get through the day today and how fun and not really look too far into it. The environment who you hang out with is massive. So I went to one of those support groups and never looked back it did not help at all it didn't help. So you mentioned CBT like when did you get into that? That was when I went to therapy for 2009 and now it's like kind of the go to with looking looking at how you think and we don't it's like metacognition. We have to think about what you're thinking about and I've never really done that and analyze thoughts and there's a few different approaches like again you can think of it black and white when some people really like oh you can have the meditative and Buddhist approach where you let thoughts come and go and be at an observer and don't judge and absolutely there's a time and a place and that actually helps with CBT but sometimes you have to actually pick apart a thought or pick a thought apart and and really see where it comes from. Where's it going? What else does it lead to? Is that thought coming from a past experience? Okay, let's go into that past experience. Look at the evidence and now look at the thought again and to do that through CBT is to really I think it actually helps you realize at the end that they are only thoughts and a thought isn't necessarily you and you can look at it and you can kind of move on when anxious about the future you can I just literally think the the future is just a thought the future doesn't necessarily exist. It exists in our in our minds and in thoughts and CBT had helped me realize that there's a time and a place to pick apart a thought and then with mindfulness and me practicing meditation since 2009 there's also also a time and a place to just let them do what they do let them come let them go observe them for what they are and don't take them so seriously. So again I think as we talked about with diet there's a time and a place for having pharmaceuticals and a time and a place for naturopathy and to combine those two and figure out maybe one works better for you maybe the other works better same with with this these cognitive tools that I use it's like CBT sometimes picking apart and journaling the hell of something and analyzing and taking time towards one thought that works beautifully a lot of the time and then a lot of the time sometimes meditation sitting with a thought and just being like let it go let's see what else comes that's also powerful to it's a beautiful compromise and I hate how a lot of the time the Greeks were right with moderation is key I it just always seems to come back to that but in my life it's it's so true. Yes, there's a lot of good benefits with CBT and so people wondering that's cognitive behavioral therapy and meditate I think the problem with a lot of people with meditation is they think classical meditation where it's like. Yeah, yeah, yeah, do you practice meditation. Yeah, so I don't practice classical meditation so I'm a very kinesthetic person or do you do dynamic meditation like oh show stuff. No, no, no, no, that is a bio energetics. Oh, I want to I got deep into better. Okay, I'm okay. Okay, so that is another. That's another bio energetics is legit. That's what works man. That's what helped me with that's where depression depression to expression came from. Oh, really? Yeah, it was me physically using the body to release depression and I go in the woods where no one was and I do bio energetics and I scream and I would just it like demons would literally come out of my body. It felt like and I would shake out vibrate. I would I would drool. I would spit and as crazy as it sounds. It was a lot less crazy doing that than to than to keep dealing with depression and I've definitely been an advocate for that kind of meditation of using the body when you're anxious that I think for me the last thing I want to do is like sometimes just calm down and sit and breathe and say all there's like nervous energy and tension you got to get out. So I don't know. Can you can you relate to that? What I yeah for me and this goes back to knowing thyself. Everybody's different and so I tried for the longest time classical sit down meditation and for me has to be kinesthetic movement. So my former meditations every day I walk have a dog to so helps but every day I walk about 35 40 minutes I use noise cancellation headsets so no music know nothing just noise cancellation and I just let my brain go and I just walk and I walk and I walk and I walk and I walk when I used to live in a house in a townhouse I don't have a backyard but when I used to live in a house in the backyard I would do a lot of Qi Gong joint mobility. I used to compete professionally in sports so I got into deep into joint mobility and practice that form like energetic stuff in the morning grounded on nice grass and Qi Gong is that almost is that similar to Tai Chi kind of there's two Qi Gongs there's a medical Qi Gong and energetic Qi Gong so there's two types of camps of different Qi Gong but for me it's more or less the the act of moving is enough of a distraction from the mind and until you get into until you get into your body forces you to get into focus and then the movement of your body gets a point that you don't even realize that you're in flow like that's a whole point you want to get in a state of flow yeah and so it's also like your ambient environment like I can't sit down in my house like I don't like to be in my house I don't like I like to be outdoors