 Welcome all to the Trans Plays of Remembrance virtual short play festival 2020. My name is Joe Michael Rezes pronouns they them theirs, and I am the director of the festival you are about to watch, and your host for this evening. Back in July, a call for submissions went out for short plays written by trans playwrights to be featured in a live stream format, purely readings, nothing more, and related to the Trans Day of Remembrance broadly construed plays were chosen and curated by Ohio University student Luke Woodward into three nights under the themes of coming of age, trust, and world making, which overlap spectacularly as you will see tonight. The Transgender Day of Remembrance is a day meant to honor and memorialize those in the trans community facing anti transgender bigotry and lost to such violences. The origin of the Transgender Day of Remembrance was in 1999 by Gwendolyn and Smith as a vigil in tribute to the life of Rita Hester, a black transgender woman. In remembrance of Rita and the many black indigenous and other people of color color within the trans community lost this year alone. We gather the next three nights to remember. Yes. But fundamentally to resist through making art in coalition, writing, collaborating, crying, breathing, and existing as a conglomeration of nearly 30 artists. The Trans Plays of Remembrance Festival has made work that moves beyond the sheer corporeal need for transgender representation in theater. We have connected across airways that we now open up to you fellow members of the trans community allies and audience members who may have stumbled your way here into this space tonight. We refuse to mourn our lost trans siblings on any terms, less than joyful ones. The motto of these next few days reads as follows. Let us remember transgender stories in our past, our present, and our future. Remembrance does not begin with death. We offer ourselves our lives, our work as proof that memory refuses linear temporalities. Tonight you will be witness to two plays under the theme of coming of age, with a talk back to follow with the artists and representatives from transgender student organizations. As a content warning, tonight's plays contain mentions of suicide, depression and disordered eating, as well as indirect illusions to transphobia writ large. Live tweet, share, post about this festival as it is happening using the hashtag TPOR, again that is TPOR meaning Trans Plays of Remembrance. Connect with the actors, applaud, share what you love and show your support. Also, visit our website below transplaysofremembrance.weebly.com for more information about our team, the cast, the playwrights and social justice organizations brought in by each member of the festival. Peer-to-peer payment apps are listed there as well, and you should always, and I mean always, tip trans actors, writers and performers all of the time. Without further delay, we first present our first play of this festival. Audrey Quoze, every story is a love story. Enjoy. There's something I need to tell you. I'm sorry this is so late. I wanted to tell you earlier, but please don't get mad. Well, I mean, you can get mad if you want to. I'm not trying to control your emotions. I know you hate that and let me start over. Sorry that this conversation didn't happen earlier. I just couldn't. And it's not that I don't trust you. I really, really didn't want you to think that it was your fault. Why would I say that? Why would I say that I don't trust them? They're going to think that I don't trust them. Don't plant the idea. This isn't working. This is bad. I should just go. I should just, I don't know, just, they won't want to see me. They're going to tell me to shut up. Like, you're being ridiculous. It's Jess, of course, they'll want to see you. Look, Jess, I know you didn't expect to see me like this, but at least now you know you're right. We can communicate with spirits. You can talk to spirits. How cool is that? Jess. Jess, hey, hit me. Is that really you? Are you evil? I mean, I think no one person is really good or evil. And labeling some people as evil is part of what leads to disposability politics and the prison industrial complex and the school to prison pipeline and also you know how I feel about binaries. You know what I meant? What are you? Your body, you're like, you're like here, here. How come I can touch you? Jess, you know it's rude to ask a trans person invasive questions about their body. Why are you still so annoying? Magic. You're so dork, so I guess it's really you. What's happening? How are you here? I don't really know. It was like super dark for a while, but not in a scary way, kind of like deep meditation dark and then I was in my room and then I know I was supposed to come see you and then I was here. What happens after this? Just how long has it been? Three days and six hours. Oh, Jess, I need a minute. I really didn't think I was going to see you again. This, this isn't, I don't understand. I. What are you doing here now? And why didn't you just say anything? We had a pact. You promised. Is it okay if I put my arm around you? I'm sorry that this conversation didn't happen earlier. I know I made a promise. I know we had a pact. And I just, I couldn't. But I think I'm ready to explain now. Is that okay? Hey, are you wearing shoes in my bedroom? Sorry, I didn't realize I had shoes on. I wasn't even wearing this outfit. I'm not sure they're really like real. Do you think I'm tracing like ghost dust and germs around your room? Oh, it's just, it's, it's still gross. Okay, just take them off. Okay. Okay, calm down. Airy's rising. I can't believe you made me throw a book and Octavia Butler. I'm sorry to interrupt your apocalypse prepper reading. So these shoes don't come off. It's fine. I guess I just do not put your shoes on my bed. Yes, I prompt. I'll keep my ghost shoes off your bed. Jess, I owe you an apology. I'm sorry that this isn't easier and that I left without saying goodbye. I was just so scared. And I thought you'd try to talk me out of it. These last few months, I really wanted to stay. I tried, but I just couldn't anymore. And I think I didn't even know how to talk about it. And I'm sorry. I died. I'm not sorry. I made a choice, but. I'm sorry that you have to deal with this during your senior year. I wanted to watch you graduate and I really wanted to take you to prom. I found this cold sequined binder that matches this bow tie that I got you and I even had this plan for getting around the dress code. You know, I wanted us to have a special night because you deserve it. I know I'm letting you down and I know you're going to say that it's not even about some stupid dance and then get mad at yourself for saying stupid because you're trying to be better about not using abeless language and then ask me to help you say impeccable with your word and then we'll finally get to the dance and you'll be like, focus Alex, that's not even what's important. You didn't expect to see me like this, but at least you know you're right. We can communicate with spirits. We can talk to spirits. How cool is that? Practice that last part, didn't you? No. No, maybe a little bit. I mean, I knew, but I wish. I don't know. I wish things had been easier. I know you didn't want to focus on all the shitty stuff, but I know it was so hard for you for both of us. I wish I had been there more that I had checked in more often and I didn't want you to think it was your fault if we talked and then I did it anyway. I want you to know it wasn't your fault, Jess. There's nothing you could have done that anyone would have done. I'm sorry, I broke the pact. I didn't want you to think it was your fault if we talked and then I did it anyway. I want you to know it wasn't your fault, Jess. I'm sorry, I broke the pact. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Well, I guess if I could control everyone, there are some things that would have helped, but it was never on you. You were always there for me. And you made the time I had. So much better. I love you, Jess. Okay. Han Solo. Whatever. Princess. Thank you. I promise, Alex. Never thought I'd have a reason not to trust you. I know. I'm sorry. How have you been? Oh, not great. I mean, I lost my best friend. I don't have a prom day and now my mom keeps asking me how I am like every day, you know, like, I'm here for you, Jessica. Tell me how you're really doing. I care about you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you too. She keeps telling me that she loves me and I, I don't think that Asian parents are even supposed to do that. Your mom used your name. Yeah. And she's been trying with my pronouns too. It's pretty wild. I think my therapist might have yelled at her. I have a therapist now, which is cool. I guess. She's. A queer brown woman. She's like, you know, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. All the vocabulary around a stuff. They were having all these groups at school and my mom, but it would be a good for me to have someone else to talk to. You know, sometimes I feel guilty. And sometimes I get so mad. Like. Last week, Daniel from the basketball team said that safe spaces are for pussies. It was my first time in my entire life getting sent to the principal's office. No, wait, didn't you stage that like walk in in fifth grade? Yes. The working conditions in my elementary school cafeteria were atrocious. And we needed to make a stand to show the students were in favor of a union election, but, but this, this is different. Okay. I hit someone. I mean, it's not like Daniel doesn't deserve it. I know. I get it, but it goes against my values. I just think that there's room to explore the limitations of nonviolent direct action in a society that is built on the violent oppression of marginalized groups. Yes. I know where you stand. I kind of feel like you leaving in the middle of this survey means you forfeited. So anyway, so I, I got, I got suspended. I got suspended. I got suspended. But. Miss K advocated for me and got it down to a day. But it was all so weird. Like, I. I don't even really know why I did that or. What I'm supposed to be doing, like. How can I go to class and study and then go to brand practice and mock trial and soccer and all these things I used to do it. I don't even know what. I don't even know what I'm feeling. And then I have to talk about my feelings all the time. And sometimes I, I don't know. I don't even know what I'm feeling. And there's, there's, it's, it's so much talking. And none of these people are the person I actually want to talk to. I'm listening. Jess. I'm here. I know, but for how long, Alex. We don't even know what this is. What if I blink and this is just a dream and you're not even talking to me? How long do we have? Well, I'm here right now. And you know, time is a Western capitalist construct. Just be serious for like two minutes. You fucking left, Alex. You left. We had a promise. It was our one promise to each other. You told me that I could trust people and stop worrying about trying to impress everyone all the time. And I trusted you. And you didn't even trust me enough to tell me. You didn't give me a chance to say goodbye. I would have respected your decision. You think I would have turned you in. You owed me that much. I didn't even get to say goodbye. I'm so sorry. I wanted to. I really, really wanted to. And I think that's why I'm here right now. I know it's not enough. But I'm here now. I'm listening. I didn't want to hurt you. You would never hurt me on purpose, but it still hurts. Okay. And you're not here. And it fucking sucks. So sorry. I love you so much. And I know I didn't really have a way to make this up to you, but I needed to tell you it wasn't your fault. And that I'm sorry I broke your trust. But you are my only. You were my best friend. And you ghosted me. Did you. Make a joke. About my death. Wow. Okay. Wow. Wow. I'm sorry. I thought, I thought you would think it was funny. I was trying to lighten the mood. I was just fucking with you. That was great. I know. It's part of the charm. Also, I was being serious about time being a Western capitalist. Shut up. Is there anything else you wanted to tell me? I'm glad you were able to tell me how you feel. Thank you for that. And there is something else I have to ask you. Make sure they use my name. Okay. And I don't want this to be a tragedy. If you tell people about me. When you tell people about me. Don't make me that sad trans boy who killed himself. Okay. I don't want to be another hashtag. I was alive. Jess. Make sure they remember that I was alive. I'm glad I didn't miss anyone. I've never seen anyone who's done anything like this. So I'm Latinx. Who was always trying to do car tricks and pull eggs out of the ears. I never stopped trying to make me smile. He taught me how to make video. I love books and brought flowers to school. Librarian. Okay. The time you rescued baby bird. Thank you. except not nice and that too polite to disrupt a white supremacy way, but actually truly a kind-hearted human. And how you stayed up all night making sure that little bird was super warm. I'll tell them. I'll tell them about Alejandro Marco Franklin. This magician boy whose name was three first names, which is totally fine. It's totally fine that your name is, it's fine. And now I, who is a nerdy, hot, but shy overachiever who's always worried about the future and... Wait, you have to tell them that I was hot too. Like really, really hot. You know how I feel about lying? Asshole! Tell them about my beautiful curly locks at least. Well, I guess, I guess you do have good hair. Okay, so I'll tell them how I met my best friend right here. It was also my first love and my first dramatic, clear breakup. Tender, beautiful boy who taught me how to slow down at every story. I think I got it a little. Thank you. You could tell me first. I still love you. Thank you so much for watching our first play. Every story is a love story. Up next, our next play is Adrian Price's Worship and our Talk Back to Follow Immediately. Thank you. You know what children say about pop rocks and pop, right? That they cause your stomach to explode? I used to be so scared of eating pop rocks and soda that in sixth grade, I wouldn't drink anything with bubbles and I wouldn't touch any kind of candy. And then I got scared that there may be traces of pop rocks in my food that somebody might have smuggled them in surreptitiously, that my drink may have been tainted by the faintest traces of carbonation. So gradually, I stopped eating anything. For two weeks, I secretly fasted. Soon I uncovered this hidden jewel, a smooth incandescent lapisse lazuli, buried in my guts that just got shinier and shinier the longer I went without eating. I hoarded this jewel, twirling it inside of me where no one could see. And I felt so smart, so cool, so powerful. But since the change has come, and the world has been transfigured before my eyes, I think about that girl and I see, you were so scared and so sad, and you were never a girl. And I just want to grab you with both my hands and make you look me in the eye and hold you and say, I am a genius. Genius. I am a philosopher of my own parapatetic school. School. I care neither for right nor wrong, my conscience is nil. Nil. My brain is a conglomeration of aggressive versatility. There are people of varying depths and intricacies of character. Character. But this is none to compare with me. Well, and five sevenths until the change in the Beaumont school gymnasium. And I'm not going to talk about that often with my fourth period friends. Plus, I have like a multifaceted personality. I can talk with you about ex piles and with them about Dawson's Creek. And what do you care about the drugs that I do without you? First of all, Rose, I, it just hasn't escaped my powers of observation that you are only eating lunch with me today because you are trying to make Jessica Visconti jealous after your explosive fight in volleyball practice yesterday. Second of all, I was not denigrating you and your recent pothead proclivities, but the pointlessness of mind altering substances in a preternatural natural intellect such as my own. Why are you talking so weird lately? As Rose was walking away. Something happened that changed the course of everything. Cassandra. I had known her since she dropped in once the chess club the year and a half ago. But something about her was different today. I think that some imperceptible shift had occurred that sent ripples of tension through my consciousness. Her feet seem to slither across the floor. Her torso bounded up and down as though weightless. Her arms undulating ever so slightly with each step. But as my gaze lifted higher. I could feel her column of her neck to the first oval of her mouth. I saw it. The tussled wave of black hair. Short black hair. Very, very short. Oh, hey. I just left my algebra book over here. Suddenly I felt this uncontrollable rage surge through my body. At Beaumont school young ladies must wear our uniform navy crest sweater. Our plaid skirts must be no shorter than mid-thigh. Our shoes must be closed toad, closed heel. And our frontal courtesies must be as smooth and spotless as bowling balls. In a way, it felt to me that this contributed to a state of suspended animation. That my body was frozen in time and space up until the point where I could devise a feasible exit strategy from Cleveland Heights. But Cassandra and her hair through that whole idea into disarray. It was a person who with the mere aid of scissors and black hair dye could become temporarily unfrozen. And the anger in my chest came from the certain realization that I could never achieve such freedom. AV club was a waste of oxygen as usual. Rose was strategically ignoring me. So we couldn't finish our sizzle reel for the school propaganda show. So I sat in the hall and counted down the minutes until the mercifully prophesied end of humanity, courtesy of exploding computers on New Year's Eve. Hey, do you mind watching my bag for me? I just till second period is over. For the love of Lucifer. She was wearing a blue short sleeve button down shirt. Untucked and baggy khaki pants. It was a matter of milliseconds before she got 86 from school for decimating the uniform policy. I felt that rage rise deep in my chest again. Yeah. Sure. I like your look. I thought you might. And there it was. A red and green Jansport backpack. Slightly worn on the bottom with a lanyard on one zipper that read camp arrow rock 1998. I've never wanted to touch something so much in my entire life. I have never wanted to touch something so much in my entire life. I willed myself to bounce a tennis ball I stole from the gym. One 1000. Two 1000. Three 1000 for the first time in my existence, my brain stopped. My thoughts went quiet and there was just this urge, the drive, the fire, zip, open, grab, pull, grab. My back. I was so nervous. I didn't. I, I, I, I, I, I. You were a goodie, goodie, but you're not even good. You think you're better than everyone because you use big words. Do you know why people use big words? Because they have nothing else going for them. I don't know. I don't know. Wait, please. I didn't mean to Cassandra. My name is Cass. Cass. Since when. And since when am I the kind of person who looks through someone else's shit. And often I walk out to a place on the flat valley below the town. And I don't know what to do before I thought of migraine all day. Oh, hey, can I sleep over tonight? I've got my green popcorn and a free rental from blockbuster. I gotta go. The room started spinning. Everything was moving too fast. Memories kept popping into my brain unbidden. My brain had crawled inside of a sizzle reel of unwanted images. A cast calling me a goodie, goodie sizzle. The headlines about computers blowing up on New Year's. Sizzle. Rose walking away from me in the cafeteria. Sizzle. The driver walked towards me, stopped the bus and got up from his seat. Sizzle. Sizzle. I couldn't move. I had no choice. Sizzle. Sizzle. Sizzle. Sizzle. I was sputtering off its tracks. I needed to jam up the gears, grind the machine to a halt. Cass's book. I await the devil's coming by Mary McLean. A memoir written by a 19 year old girl from Butte, Montana, published in 1902. She's a bi-sexual outspoken feminist who became a journalist and touring speaking sensation. What the fuck? Is this a joke? As I have said, I want fame. I want to write. To write such things as compel the admiring acclamations of the world at large. Such things are written once in years. Things subtly, but distinctly different. The books written every day. There are few things that annoy me so much as to be called a young lady. I am no lady as anyone could see by close inspection. And the phrase has an odious sound. Let me rise and falter with pain. Let me go mad. But oh, world full of people, for the love of your God, give me out of this seething darkness. Only one beautiful human hand to touch mine with love. You are superb, devil. You have done a magnificent piece of work. I kneel at your feet and worship you. I stayed up all night reading. I couldn't stop. I was so excited. Mary Maclean reached through the pages and toward the desperate impassioned words out of my own heart. I needed to talk to Cass about this immediately. It didn't matter if she was pissed off at me. This book fused us through a bond deeper than any I had yet known. Have you seen Cass? Why? You look kind of. I need to talk with her. It's really important. Okay, fine. I'll tell you if I see her. Are you busy tonight? Every day I seek her out. But I couldn't find her. Her absences piled up causing everyone to assume she had moved or transferred schools. I didn't know what to do with her. I didn't know what to do with her. I didn't know what to do with her for two months. I had given up until. Oh my God. You will never guess what I just said. Missing. Cassandra Roberts. Date of birth April 3rd, 1984. Missing date October 5th, 1999. Missing city Cleveland, Ohio. Case number and CMC. The Beaumont school. Wearing a powder blue button down shirt and khaki pants. This is impossible. What the hell are you doing? You wouldn't understand. Talk to me. Please. What is going on with you lately? I'm trying to be your friend, but. But if you ditch me now, I'm giving up on you. I have a password. LJ username. Cossill logical. 94. Password. I await the devil. 666. Cass had a live journal. And I had the code. I could experience her musings from the inside. No sooner had I unlocked the account that I discovered it was blank. I think my style of writing has a wonderful intensity in it. And it is admirably suited to the creature it portrays. It hit me with force and veracity. I must populate this blog. It was my ethical duty. I mean, I was the only one who knew her really knew her and she might be dead for all we knew. So I began this is not a diary. It is a portrayal. It is my inner life shown in its nakedness. I began with quotes from Mary McLean's book, but then I started adding in my own stories, real life wisdom about school rose, what happened on the bus, even my connection with Cass. The words tumbled out of me in a vibrant alive uncensored voice. I wrote with fury over the next few months and I began to see comments bloom beneath my screeds. Mostly girls and gays my age who needed someone, anyone to take them seriously to validate and give voice to be ignored. In a matter of weeks my blog friends expanded exponentially from a dozen to 100 to several hundred to 1000 to 14,563 at last count. The devil, the fascinating man devil it may be is coming, coming, coming. Cass still hasn't appeared, at least not at school. But I know she would be proud of the person I've become through her inspiration. In a minute and 23 seconds, the clock will strike midnight. And the world as we knew it crumbled before us. But I'm not afraid of the future. Because what I know that I'll be in charge, I'll be in charge. And nine. Thank you so much everyone for enjoying every story is a love story, as well as worship. Right now we are going to start our talk back. So, if I could ask everyone in the room, who will be joining me for the talk back to turn yourself on so we can say hello hello hello hello. Hello everybody everyone. Hello hello more faces, lovely to see everyone. So, we will not be having all of the artists joining us today but we will be joined by some new faces as well that you didn't see during the stream of both of the plays this evening. And I'm going to just get right down to it. So we'll start with some introductions my name is Joe Rezes they then theirs pronouns and I am the festival director. I use they then pronouns and I wrote every story is a love story. I'm Adrian she her pronouns and I wrote worship. Luke Woodward I use they them pronouns and I am the festival. Sorry, the festival curator and drama third. I'm Annie beller I'm the stage manager and I use she her pronouns. I'm Andy figured out I use they them pronouns and I played Alex in every stories a love story. Mason you're up. I'm Mason Sam's I use they them pronouns and I'm the festival sound designer. And Sam, you're up. Hi, I'm Sam McQuade. I'm use they pronouns. I'm a student at Tufts, and I work at the LGBT Center. And Lovina you're up. I'm Lovina Cooley, I use she her pronouns and I'm a student at Ohio University part of the trans dipping group. Thank you all for for sticking around and having a talk back with me and the artists and for all of you spending time chatting about the work. So today's theme was under the title coming of age, which I have a complicated idea of like what is coming of age what is coming to something what is coming out, especially with trans narratives. But in terms of trans day of remembrance. I also was just thinking this is specifically a question for you Adrian and Audrey. Both of these plays deal with the idea of active remembrance. So how people remember you how you remember yourself, and how we interact with those memories. So I just want to ask because it's working with your pieces I just want to know. How do you feel that memory functions in the worlds of your plays, and is memory something that you you think about when when writing, either one of you can can answer that I would love to know. I'm happy to take the lead on this one. So, for me I was thinking about memory and remembrance in three different levels. So I was thinking about how we remember ourselves past incarnations of ourselves as trans people. I was thinking about, you know, what it means to find the people who sort of guide the way for us in our understanding of ourselves and how we remember them. Sort of a broader sense of like how we remember kind of queer and trans figures throughout history who may or may not conform to like our present ideas of trans or transgender but who sort of troubled the waters as far as gender and sexuality so. Yeah, those are three ways that I'm thinking about remembrance and memory. And Adrian, there's something that you're talking about past incarnations and who is guiding us and we talked a lot about that in rehearsal. Specifically, something that manifested and I know we talked about this in a meeting to something that manifested was this idea of the blogger and who who is our our guide in life. In the past the present and the future and the way that we we kind of manifested that in a zoom reality of this play was looking at multiple camera angles in multiple versions of self. And this compounding action that's happening in terms of memory because then in a lot of ways. And I think it was interesting when you asked this question because parts, I think parts of both characters are drawn from my life and me and the piece about Alex being so concerned about being misgendered and death came from when I was doing a lot of direct actions, and I remember thinking like, I am afraid of being hurt, but also I'm afraid of dying and then having people like fuck up my profile. And I think that's a great question. I think it's a great question from my life and me and the piece about Alex being so concerned about being misgendered and death came from when I was doing a lot of direct actions, and I remember thinking like, I am afraid of being hurt, but also I'm afraid of dying and then having my pronouns in my obituaries and it was like such a weird thing to be like, I'm not worried about dying but I am worried about being misgendered and so what is that to carry just thinking about our deaths so often as trans people and I think also the idea of the memory of trans folks when non trans people think or write about us it's like it's not our lives it's our deaths and so for me this play is about what is the moment before that and how does each of us want to be remembered and what would it be like to be able to tell that back to someone who's holding that for us like I actually had friends who I was like part of my safety plan is like you have my phone number you know my birthday so you can get me out of jail also so I could go yell at people in my funeral and like change my obituary if that happens and then I think the other pieces are I started dancing in the past year so I've been thinking a lot about trans embodiment and also the body as an archive of memory and so what it means as a trans person to reclaim our embodiment when there's so many narratives about what our are or mean and we are so often denied agency whether it's through medical care or legislation or like students having to go through administrations or like the dress code that's the Alex mentions so reclaiming that embodiment and I think it's so important in the way that Justin Alex try to touch and reach that embodiment and that tenderness and there's also the body memory of their intimacy like the rhythm of their relationship and the way that they connect with each other and know what the other person is going to say is part of how we remember our people is like what does it feel like to be in space with people and I think that's true now to with like the pandemic like when we miss touching our friends we miss like the rhythm of being in space and feeling the way our energy into place so thinking about like what does it mean to energetically with our bodies remember our loved ones is really important to me I mean always but also really particularly in this moment that actually brings me to my next question which was both of these plays coming of age narratives right we like you were both saying how memory can exist in these moments of tragedy can really exist in these moments of hurt and pain and that's I think in a lot of coming of age narratives that's where the focus normally goes and I just want to attest to as a director of these two pieces just how much sheer joy are found in each of these pieces consistently just aesthetically in the interpersonal relationships between the trans characters as they communicate and I'm just wondering where do you to both of you see joy in creating collective memory for for trans folks and trans artists. That's my question where do you see where do you see joy fitting in like how how integral do you think that is. I would say, I mean, yeah joy joy is everything joy is. You know so necessary it's so vital for our like resilience and resistance. I think we think about communities we have to keep reigniting that hope that joy that, you know, excitement for each other, because we can't all be feeling it all the time. It's in one moment may feel it in other, you know, other people in our community may not be feeling it and vice versa and other moments so to me kind of one of the main functions of communities that we like relight that light for each other. When it's when it's difficult to feel that. Yeah, definitely. I'm just thinking Andy just jumping through as the as I think the only actor in the room right now. One of one of my questions about in speaking about like light and joy, Andy in general, but also Andy in terms of like, can you speak to the experience of playing a trans character in this festival in the coming of age what did what does that as an opportunity mean to you not to put you on the spot as the only actor in the room but what what does that mean. I didn't realize I was the only actor in the room. So like totally I don't know how I miss that. Definitely hits harder since it is a coming of age story like these are high school students. And just how people who are visibly, if not out in a safe way, like visibly, gender non conforming visibly trans, and to have them be an object of desire. They are very like they are in love with each other. And so often. It's kind of seen that kind of expression is seen as a joke, or a phase. And so to see that kind of love, romantic love committed in a coming of age story is extremely refreshing of not only am I capable of giving so much love, I am capable of receiving that which I am afraid to receive. I know that's why when I got the casting emo being like this role I went oh my god yes. Oh my god this feels so nice. Um, to just. Yeah, yeah. No, I that's that's amazing that's that's a beautiful answer. And this is this is to the entire room this is this is something that I've been dying to hear answers to from literally everyone including including Sam and LaVenia please please jump in. Pivotal coming of age stories for anyone in the room in terms of queerness or transness, do you have any that stick out, and they could be as funny as like you know the pivotal thing for me was in fact and this I know that this is being in the room was the Fox Robin Hood, and I know that about myself, and we can see it today with my hair, and that's okay. But I just, you know, there are things that are pivotal in media but just I want to know like what what are pivotal coming of age narratives or movies like is it a john Hughes is it not a john Hughes like what where are we in terms of like coming of age stories that were pivotal for our, our coming of age ourselves. The cogs are turning we just don't have the words yet the cogs are turning so quickly. So, not so much of my own story but there's a story. There's a book. It's from this book called all out. It's a collection of historical fiction trans stories. And there's one that takes place at Y2K like the night of New Year's Eve. So reading and taking these plays for very obvious reasons sent me back. But that it's just these two, two people in love. And that's it. That's the story. They're scared that the world is going to end so their best friends and they can best their love to each other and they're like Hmm. Like that. That's simple thing, even in the Fox version of Robin hood, where you just see interactions between people that are relatable all through the rest of your life. That's so true. I, I also, I'm moving on to look at my pen is falling apart. I'm so excited my pen is falling apart. I also have a question in terms of, you know, coming of age stories I feel like as a trope as a genre becomes so formulaic. And I think we sometimes forget the realities and the harshness and the joy but the realities of what it means to be young and queer young and trans in school. And that, that speaks to, I don't know, just the presence of Sam and LaVenia, LaVenia, LaVenia in the room and speaks to this, this need for community, even on college campuses within LGBT centers and trans centered groups run by students. And I'm wondering if the two of you either Sam or LaVenia if you could, if you could speak to the, the push for creating organizations or working within student organizations at your individual institutions and what it means to build community there. Definitely, I can go ahead and start with this one. For me, coming to OU was so mind blowing. I went to a super small high school so like, I was out like I went all out I will address to my junior prom. It was terrifying, because I graduated with 30 other people it's a super small town. It was awful. But coming to OU there's such a positive, like queer community I found, like even just going to the center and just like, you know, sitting down and doing my homework. I didn't realize how much like internalized transphobia I was still dealing with, until I was able to be out and open and like truly myself and, you know, I didn't have to worry about people misgendering me I didn't have to worry about being called the wrong name, or anything like that. And so it's just, it's so important to be able to have those spaces like that and like now, and now that I'm working with the center and able to create those own those spaces. And so I'm not just a part of them anymore but I'm creating them and it's that community building I think is just it's so important to helping, you know, people increase their self confidence and their self esteem, and being able to come from, you know, maybe a darker place in their lives to being able to like be a little bit more hopeful for the future. Thank you for that. Sam. Yeah. Everything that Lovina said, I, I also feel so I just started working at the LGBT Center this year and it's definitely been difficult. As we all know, being online all the time. And so my friend, and I like, who also works at the center we like started like a trans non binary group like this year that meets every week which has been really nice but we also have incredibly low turnout. Primarily because people just don't want to be on another zoom call for an hour on Friday, which makes a lot of sense. Definitely just, it's more difficult this year to like find community and grateful that like I have trans friends that I've made like, since I'm not a freshman. And that was part of the reason I like decided to physically come back to campus was because like if I have to sit at home and not be around another trans people, another trans person for another like five months I, it won't go well. So, I haven't had a hug. I hope that we can, we can offer some virtual hugs here. Yes, Luke, go go ahead. I was just gonna say I could also speak to this being also fellow student at Ohio University. And just how affirming it was to come to Ohio and meet another person who use they them pronouns that was the first time. I never experienced that outside of myself, because I like discovered it through like, when Wikipedia Google searches that I'm like oh this is this is the gender identity that you can have, you can just do this you can not be one of them and so that was huge for me and then. So that was like towards the end of high school that that happened and then coming to a university and meeting someone else who use they them pronouns, it was very just so affirming and also just like so I don't know groundbreaking for me at the time. And I, yeah, it's just, wow. Wow. Yeah, go ahead. Yeah, can I just wanted to hop on after what Luke said I, I have a five year old friend who just started using they them pronouns. I will plug that they said because they wanted to be like their best friend Audrey they. But at first I was like this is so cute I love it and then like a week later I was like now I have to cry for three hours thinking about what it would have been like for me to have an adult use they them in my life and I was like I am not ready to think about this but like even when you ask the question about trans and queer coming of age stories I'm like, I don't know from my own childhood and like, what is between childhood and adulthood teenage hood. Like, there wasn't anything there and I'm an old compared to some of y'all so I'm just like, it's amazing to see how much there is now and also still want so much more I mean like, I was watching a bunch of trans shorts recently and there was so much content and I was like, this is a problem that I love to have is like, I can't even get through all of this and so I'm going to skip some, and to just have that abundance of narratives and I just want that for everyone is like, don't be the only queer and trans person in your life like have other people on campus like just, I just want so much. So like it's part of why I love this festival just getting to be around so many trans folks and watch y'all bring this to life has been so amazing so humbling and just like, just want to like squeal. So I'm going to mute myself and do that. And also, I. Sorry. Moving off of that, because I went going back to the question of like trans or just like coming of age stories that speak to you and your transness or queerness. I like, I was saying, I wrote the question and I didn't have an answer. I'm just still like thinking about it and I'm like nothing really like super just like sticking out to me and coming to mind. And I think that kind of speaks to just the lack of those stories. Like, if they exist, like, a lot of the time it's more of a metaphor for just identity or like otherness or in general. And so, like, I don't know, I'm just really hoping that maybe like reading the place for this festival and choosing the place for this festival. It was just, again, just so affirming and just so wonderful to see so many specifically trans stories. Like, from all different like walks and genres for like, I mean, we have three different themes for each of the nights, because like we have just so many a vast variety of plays and like, I really just hope maybe like that this festival could be that coming of age story for someone. So, yeah. And I also thinking about coming of age more, more broadly to it's just like something that I have any of the plays in this festival could fit under any of the themes and I touched on that at the beginning of today. The intricacies of our individual lives and the in the worlds that we're creating within our plays like Adrienne I'm thinking very specifically about your choice to set this in Y2K right like right at the moment the turn of the millennium like that is. I don't know any stories of trans folks or any type of coming of age story from 2000 I've never heard of that I and as many plays as I have read and we all have read I don't think I have and it was just so breathtaking to read your work and read and see something so period and set and creating this archive this collective like trans archive through this piece is is incredible and I just maybe just, if you want to speak to why Y2K why 2000 and any particular reason. Yeah, I think part of it was, I wanted to go back to a moment where it felt like it was going to be the end of the world. And then it wasn't. I felt like that would really resonate in our, in our current situation. And also there was just that intensity of that moment. I mean I was somewhat younger than the characters and these plays at that time, but I do remember it, and nobody knew what was going to happen and like, you know, what's this with the computers are going to malfunction nobody like understood what was happening. And so there was this, this fear and, you know, this, this intensity and I, I thought, you know, if you put any story in that kind of pressure cooker, it's going to, you know, give it another layer of, you know, emotional resonance. Well now, aren't we, aren't we just discussing so many things about coming today and so excited. I am aware of the time though, and I would like to just open this up for any questions that any of you have for each other. We have students in the room who are currently organizing we have the playwrights we have an actor in the room, a stage manager as well. We have everyone in the room so if anyone has any questions for each other when I open this up to the group playwrights in general to if you want to chat with each other that's fine. But it really just whoever wants to ask a question ask away any burning questions. Even comments, we can just throw around compliments. If that's, but if we don't have anything else. Please, please. I did want to shout out Andy, I thought your performance was brilliant. So engaging. I really didn't know what to expect of, you know, this this whole zoom play situation is still so relatively new and I've only seen a few examples of it and you were so great at just like pulling in right from the beginning so that I was like, oh, we're in a play now. Okay, this is happening. And you you really, you know, kept us riveted through through that piece. So thank you for that. I'm going to go cry. Oh my goodness. Well, this is actually I mean I think this is a great transition speaking of fabulous actors. So for everyone out there. Thank you all. Thank you all for being here and staying for this talk back I we will all be in touch, stay in touch. Keep watching the festival, keep keep emailing and texting and being in the chat, and everyone is invited to the final talk back on Wednesday as well. I would like to remind everyone watching as well before we go to please please go visit trans plays of remembrance dot weebly.com to learn more about each playwright, actor and activists we have working on this festival. There are as well you'll find links to learn about community organizations and mutual aid funds brought into the festival by each artist and team member little buttons next to everyone's name in the cast and crew of this festival. There are nearly 30 30 amazing artists and team members who came together to create this festival. Please, if you are watching this watching this live stream, hire them. These are amazing theater makers creating incredible incredible work in the virtual format and beyond. Please, please, please look up these amazing artists and get to know them and get to know their work. I would like to thank the Ohio University division of diversity and inclusion, the lesbian gay bisexual and transgender and women's centers, the Tufts University Department of theater dance and performance studies. And the Tufts University LGBT Center for their continued financial support and for making this festival as accessible as possible in the virtual format. Thank you all so much for being here for our first night of the trans plays of remembrance festival, and we will see you for two more nights of this exact same stick to more nights of this two plays, some special performances, some conversations and some transformative just justice workshops some some talk backs we're gonna have a great time two more nights. And we hope to see you around 7pm EST every single night. Thank you so much. Joe are we allowed to compliment you before. Oh, I mean you can but you I you don't have. Just a suggestion. Compliments at Joe. Just your tenderness and your brilliance and I think watching you I've learned so much. And I love our shared love of magic. Thank you for being a glitter theater homo. Yeah, it's just been amazing to watch, like, like everyone on the crew but just to watch your work unfold. This is my first play and I've learned so much and also just love how squishy everyone is. I'm going to squeal again so again I'm going to meet myself. Thank you Audrey. Thank you so much everyone. Good night. Fair fairing. See you all tomorrow evening. Goodbye.