 You've made it! It's Friday! Congratulations! It's the Darren Marlar radio show, coming up on today's show. A man suspected of stealing a bottle of schnapps from a Wyoming grocery store? Well, he didn't have the best escape route planned in today's grain on drug story. Would you spend over a million dollars for your wedding album? One couple did in today's moment of duh. Would you consider yourself slim? Probably not, even if you are slim. We've got our birthday wrap-up, useless facts, also, seagulls, cops, chocolate chips, they all make their way into today's holidays. But first, let's start the day off with a question impossible. Your question, oil. It is the world's top commodity. But what comes in second? Again, oil is the world's top commodity. What comes in second? I'll have the answer for that coming up here a little bit later on in the show. Welcome to the Darren Marlar radio show. Hey, you want to get social with me? Well, Facebook, Twitter, anchor.fm, mines.com, LinkedIn, Instagram. I've got links to all of them at DarrenMarlar.com. That anchor FM, by the way, it's something brand new. I just started yesterday. It's kind of fun. You can check it out. That's DarrenMarlar.com. Let's take a look at today's weird, wacky, strange, zany, odd, bizarre, quirky, unusual holidays. Today is Friday, August 4, 2017. You now have 142 shopping days until Christmas. Today is Fowl Ball Day. In 1983, Toronto police arrested Yankee outfielder Dave Winfield for causing unnecessary suffering to an animal after Winfield threw a baseball during warmups and a seagull was killed when it ran into the ball's flight path. But he was arrested for this. Isn't that kind of like being arrested for running over a squirrel that runs under your car? Seagulls are uglier, too. There is actual video of this, by the way. If you want to look on YouTube for Dave Winfield's seagull, you can see it. It's pretty astounding. It's fun to watch. I mean, the bird looks like it just explodes when he hits it. Today is Hug Your Child Day. If you don't have a child, well, hug somebody else's. We all need to hug every day. Today is National Chocolate Chip Day. Just hearing that chocolate chip kind of makes the day sound better already, doesn't it? And it's National Night Out. For those of you thinking this is the perfect opportunity to go out for a night on the town, paint the town red, so to speak, well, hold on now. This is actually National Night Out. It's actually a night to promote police community partnerships to fight crime. Then again, there's no accounting for taste. You might find that romantic. A study by Carnegie Mellon University found that women make less money than men because they aren't as aggressive. They don't demand money the way men do. Well, the problem is that we need more demanding and aggressive women. Got a birthday wrap-up coming up here in just a second. Hey, if you missed any part of yesterday's show, well, you can find it right now free in my mobile app. Search for it in your phone app store. It's free in your iOS or Android. Just do a search for Marlar House. That's M-A-R-L-A-R. House. And you can find the free mobile app that way. Research. It shows that boys, just like girls, well, they're experiencing younger and younger puberty. Yes, in fact, some southern states like Arkansas, they will be voting on whether or not to lower the legal marrying age from 12 to 10. Time for today's birthday wrap-up. It is August 4, 2017. Celebrating birthdays today, race car driver Jeff Gordon is 46. From Gilmore Girls and NYPD Blue, SeaQuest DSV, he's the son of Dom Delouise, Michael Delouise, he is 48 today. From the Joy Luck Club and in good company, Lauren Thomas, 56. Former U.S. President Barack Obama, 56 today. From the Bad News Bears, Bad Santa and Pushing 10, Billy Bob Thornton, 62. And comedian and actor I Know Him Best as Detective John Munch on Law and Order Special Victims Unit, Richard Belzer is 74. The University of Wisconsin student has been charged for running around inside the state's Capitol building naked. On the other hand, somebody has found something exciting to do in Wisconsin. Would you consider yourself slim, ladies? Probably not, even if you are slim. I'll explain coming up here in just a bit. I'm Darren Marlar and if you like scary stories, you might want to check out my show Weird Darkness. It's online only and you can find it at DarrenMarlar.com. Speaking of DarrenMarlar.com, if you want to check out my blog, you can find this story there. So-called diet foods. They can make you fat. Yes, the diet foods can make you fat. Why? They're loaded with sugar, believe it or not. To make processed diet foods lower in calories, well, much or all of the fat is removed, but then sugar is added, sometimes in great quantities, to make the food taste better. And you really have to pay attention to know that because while the sweet ingredients, they are camouflaged under other names that's not called sugar, so you can have the impression that the food is healthy. That's the word from University of Georgia researchers who determined that these sugar-related diet foods can actually cause you to gain weight. Would you spend over a million dollars for your wedding album? Well, one couple did and today's moment of duh, they are not happy about it. That story is on the way. I'm Darren Marlar and if you want to like me, poke me, tweet me, follow me, stalk me, you can find links to all my social media at DarrenMarlar.com. So ladies, would you consider yourself slim? Well, probably not. Even if you are, just one in 17 women of a healthy weight actually considered themselves to be slim according to a recent survey. The study involving thousands of ladies provided a disturbing insight into female self-esteem. Volunteers were asked to look at themselves in the mirror and select from 12 adjectives to describe how they felt or how they considered that they looked. And those taking part, they were also measured to determine whether they were overweight or of a healthy weight. Among the women who were the right weight for their height, only 13% said that they felt happy when they saw their reflection and only 6% thought that they were slim. Although the study did look a bit more normal if you took out the names of Callista Flockhart, Terry Hatcher, and Laura Flynn Boyle. The modern woman has a lot on her plate these days, between working and looking beautiful who has time to keep up with the latest fashions and diet fans. Well, you don't have to worry about that anymore when you subscribe to Modern Woman Magazine. Each month, modern woman will keep you up to date on all the important issues the modern woman needs to know. This month, modern woman has 10 tips on how to discover your body's flaws because we know looks are everything. And our diet and nutrition section will cover 89 ways to starve yourself thin. And this month, you'll want to read the inspiring article you know your fat so stop eating so much. It's all in Modern Woman Magazine on Salat News Stands Now. Modern Woman Magazine for the modern woman. Hey Beth, how about getting some lunch? I can, it's not my day to eat. After their wedding ceremony, a newly married couple in Tennessee, they went to their motel and they got into an argument which led to the bride reaching inside her wedding dress and pulling out a pistol on their wedding night. It would have been a shotgun wedding but she just didn't have enough room and her bra. I'm Darren Marlar and it's time for today's moment of doubt which is also wedding related. Would you spend over a million dollars for your wedding album? Well, a Texas wedding photographer says that her business dropped from 75 to 100 bookings a year to just two after a newly wed couple trashed her online and on television. While that couple, Andrew and Neely Moldovan, they will now have to pay Andrea Polito $1.08 million for defamation. The Moldovans accused Polito of holding their photos hostage following their 2014 wedding. They claimed Polito was demanding an extra $125 for a wedding album cover before she would give them digital copies of their photos despite it being included in the contract that they signed. Polito says she was prepared to absorb the $125 charge to keep the couple happy while instead they went public. On local news and online, the Moldovans claimed that Polito quote cheated and scammed them. Neely Moldovan used her position as a blogger to amplify the story. Statements like I'm pretty sure her business is ruined, I hope this goes viral, feeling excited, and justice has been served were all included in her posts. Polito filed a $1 million defamation lawsuit in 2015 and a jury has now ruled in her favor, awarding her $1.08 million. The jury determined that not only was Polito attempting to follow the contract but also trying to work with the Moldovans further to satisfy their demands. Polito's lawyer said these are real-world consequences for maliciously attacking a business online with venom and lies. Wow, $1.08 million. Now that is an expensive wedding album. Think you have to be young and spry to dribble a basketball down the court? Well, think again. The San Diego Senior Women's Basketball Association has 14 teams with women all over the age of 50. But check this out, one of those teams stands out. They're called the Splash and every member of this team is 80 years old or older. And well, the members of the Splash, they're not just there to socialize and get some exercise. In fact, 91-year-old Meg Skitter says we play to win. If you want to read the full story, I do have that in my blog right now at DarrenMarlar.com. A survey says 72% of Americans think people who speak multiple languages are more attractive. So I guess it's time to start brushing up on my cling on. A man suspected of stealing a bottle of schnupps from a Wyoming grocery store, he didn't have the best escape route planned in today's Brain on Drug Story coming up next. I'm Darren Marlar and you can hear the show anytime at DarrenMarlar.com. Well, although vitamin D, it boosts the immune system. In fact, maybe you take extra vitamin D like I do. Apparently taking large doses of it does not appear toward off colds according to a study from New Zealand. In the study, participants who took high doses of vitamin D supplements every month for more than a year, they were just as likely to catch colds as those who took a placebo. Really? Well, okay, well, then where can I get some of those awesome placebo pills? A study from Vanderbilt University showed that you can burn up to 40 calories by laughing genuinely from 10 to 15 minutes. Although, here on the Darren Marlar radio show, I'm perfectly fine if you fake it. It's time for today's Brain on Drug Story, and it's always about somebody doing dumb things while under the influence. But addiction, it's no laughing matter. If you or somebody you know needs help, well, there's a toll-free number that you can call. It's 1-800-438-0380. That's the addiction hope and help line. 1-800-438-0380. I'm unsuspected of stealing a bottle of schnapps from a Wyoming grocery store. He did not have the best escape route planned. Riverton Police say the 26-year-old ran out of the store after grabbing the bottle of booze and a package of cough drops and hid in a nearby building, which happened to be the police station. Police say the man then ran out of the police station but not before a dispatcher had spied him on the station's surveillance camera and alerted officers. The man who police say was drunk was caught soon thereafter. He was taken into custody on preliminary charges of resisting arrest and shoplifting. A study by San Diego State University researchers has disproven the popular phrase of the five-second rule. Determining bacteria can attach itself to food in less than five seconds. Well, yeah, that's true, but that's why you blow on it once you pick it up off the floor. Put that cookie down now! Hey, I'm Darren Marlar. If you'd like a few more laughs after the show, you can check out darrenmarlar.com and click on Daily Dose of Weird News. I have a new episode every day there on my website. A University of Newcastle study of 170 obese Australians, it disproved the common belief that you can lose weight faster if you break up your meals into five or six snack-sized portions a day. Apparently, there was no difference in health or weight loss between those who ate three meals a day and those who ate six smaller meals. An attritionist said that what matters is what and how much you eat, not how many times. And that eating six small meals a day in McDonald's clearly won't help you lose weight. Although eating six happy meals a day will make you extremely happy. Thanks for listening to the Darren Marlar Radio Show. I hope you have an awesome weekend. Hey, by the way, if you'd like to be a part of the show, I would love to get an email from you and include it in the email bag, which I can read here on the show. You can email me at darrenmarlar.com. I'm going to leave you today with this thought. If God had wanted man to fly, he would have given us wings. Big metal ones powered by fuel pumped out of the earth and also a large steel fuselage to protect us from the elements. Oh, yeah. And God wouldn't forget the honey cashews and ample legroom and business class either. Good night, ladies. Hit it, sweetheart.