 Hey there friends, how's it going? My name is Kevin and today we're playing the Political Machine 2020. And just before we start, let it be known that I'm not a political person, and I'm not American, by the way, but I hear you folks are having an election and, uh, well, I'd like to, you know, throw myself into the ring on this one. Uh, I think you might be a little late on that one. You know, it's November 3rd. There's plenty of time. Although by the time this gets uploaded, the election might be over. And also, the fact that I am Irish and not American might be an issue. I'll just, I'll use an accent. They'll never know. Okay, it's time for the greatest campaign ever made by humans. So these are the people on the ballot at the moment, and, uh, I think Massive Comet has got my vote. What the hell? May as well. Ideology. Giant Meteorism. Oh, he's definitely on my vote. I don't even know what's going on across the pond. I think you're having an election. I don't know, I haven't heard much. About your politics the last few years. I'm not even a peep, actually. I'm stuck between two candidates here because this guy's interested in lunacy. But also this one's a massive comet, and it's kind of hard to fight that. Wait, I can make my own? Oh, brilliant. You know, if I'm making my own, I feel like I should be honest. And this is, it's actually hard to say. It's a weird video to actually say it in because this is just a comedy video. But like for a moment of just being serious, um, oh my God, this is actually hard. I didn't mean to say this in this video, but people have been asking me why I have my green screen up and I'd never really use it and what's going on behind it. And I've not really been comfortable saying, but since I'm getting into politics, I just want to come clear. So behind my green screen, there's another green screen. Oh, I wasn't planning on admitting that, but I'm so glad I did. It feels better. I feel really good about that. I am ready for politics. Ah, all right. What will I do with my points? I'm not going to have any intelligence. I'm going to match my own intelligence. I'm going to make my guy a tycoon so I can just throw money at the campaign and hope that'll fix everything. There we go. I'm stupid and I have no experience, but I got a lot of money and I'm kind of cool. I'm going to rename myself to future president because then even it'll just be drummed into people's minds. It's like, oh, are you going to be voting for the future president? Yes, I vote every year. Well, you just committed to voting for future president, the next president. I want to be from West Virginia. I just like the song. I don't know whether I want to go for giant meterism or lunacy, though. I don't know what my platform wants to be. OK, apparently this one makes it so that I want to kill everyone and give frogs the right to vote, which I am all for. I will double down on that election history. Why can I write in my own thing? There we go, class president. I've already been a president. I can do it again. All hail the meteor. We welcome it with open arms and open minds. That's my description. Spiked armor. You know what? Why not? It's terrifying. I have to change the outfit because he looks like a feckin henchman. And now he looks like a waiter. I kind of like this. The skirt looks good on him. Why is his hat just perched on his head? His little anime eyes. He's holding his hands together. Oh, please give me a vote. Oh, dress him up in an American flag. This is looking good. I don't think they're going to be able to resist. This could be a good campaign ad. And remember, I am listening. His ears just float off his head. I didn't know you could do this. This is a feckin mess. His nose is actually physically floating on front of him now, and it's actually casting a shadow on his eye. It's going to be too annoying. Let's size that down. I like earlier that I had to specify that this video wasn't going to be political. I really didn't have to say a thing. Look at him. Oh, my God, his head is huge. What is going on? Oh, you can flip it around and everything. You could put it backwards. I really want to, but I know it would stop being funny after the first like three times we see him backwards. I think I can live with this stuff. Oh, dear. Oh, my God. Made for greatness, it says. All right, future president, I need you to blend in. OK, you need to act the part to don't seem like an alien. Hello, fellow humans. I love meteors. We're going to go against the guy who wants lunacy, I guess. So it's a choice between lunacy and dying. All right, create an ad in Texas. Opponent supports stopping the coronavirus. I'm just putting in a positive ad for him for some reason. All right, I'm going to swap it to I support stopping the coronavirus. I think we should destroy the coronavirus by using a giant meteor. OK, for some reason, me saying frogs deserve the right to vote gives me a self 10 percent voter enthusiasm, but also my opponent. It just encourages everyone to vote more. The same with humans are the cause and solution to all our problem. Kill all the humans. Funnily enough, that doesn't inspire people to vote as much. I don't have enough points yet. We'll hold off on that for now. Let's just keep making ads. Oh, my God, that picture of him is terrifying. A town hall has appeared. Yeah, I'll go to a town hall. Oh, no, the opponent is supporting mayonnaise. Oh, Jesus, this is bad. I was going to come out and support mayonnaise. Does the town hall great? It disappeared. What is happening? I'm confused. Wait, he's running circles around me. Hold on message from Johnny Starr. OK, the campaign cowboy. I think this is a scam. Ideology points would be nice. Yes, great. Yes, I get eight points. That's enough to say kill all humans. OK, everyone, I have got a radical but solid idea. I'm going to kill all of you. The crowd just starts clapping. I'm calling for a nuclear winter. All right, that's enough for now. OK, everyone hates me for some reason. Why? I just lost so much of the vote. OK, I'm just going to start flying to each state and I'll just tell them whatever they want to hear. I'm going to have to hire some people, I think. It's smear merchant. Perfect, hiring you. Oh, no, he's throwing support behind. Everyone should have a good job. And meanwhile, I'm here like, hey, guys, maybe we should have a nuclear winter. For some reason, doing a speech we're killing all humans gives me a large enthusiasm bonus in New York. All right, I'm just going to endorse a rain of fire. Oh, thank God, my next one's higher minimum wage. At least it's something normal because everything so far has just been about dying. Oh, great, I'm on a debate show. I'm all ears. OK, it went well, I think. They're more confident about president. Nice headshot. I'm going to start seeing my opponent supports killing all humans. How about that? I'm a mud slinger now, apparently. I'm just going to start placing ads everywhere that he wants to kill everyone. That's my plan now. Oh, yes, yes, intimidators. Yes, intimidate them. Yes, he's supporting killing all the fish. Surely that'll help me. Why are people supporting him more? What is your problem with fish? Mr. Monopoly just gave me three bags of gold, apparently. I got to pick a running mate. My running mate is going to be a massive comet. People are cheering, but I don't think they really understand why I'm just going to do fundraisers and just run off with the money, I think, because I can't seem to get support at all. All right, I'm going to lay off that I want to kill you all for a second. Make frogs are overlords instead. Think California kind of liked the sound of that. I'm going to go there and raise more money. For the frogs, president keeps steady at second place as election night draws near. Oh, good try to try and make it spin it positive. All right, let's go on this talk show. Oh my God, look, he's so cute. How can you resist? How much money have you collected from donors? They didn't give it to you for nothing. So what promises have you made to your donors? I could just say my arms are real sore. I get donations from regular Americans. That's something an alien would say, I think. That'll keep you busy then. People believe in me. Yeah, yes, they like. You know what? He's saying he's going to be mean to me. So I'm just going to say it's the guillotine then. The audience didn't like that. For some reason, the audience that came to your live taping don't like it. When I say I'm going to kill you, I alienated my base. Well, then mission accomplished, I wanted you all to become aliens. Giant meteor, you're doing nothing for the campaign. Please, I'm doing this for you, really. Okay, raise funds, raise funds, more funds. Okay, I raised 1.4 million and escaped to Hawaii. Raised some more money here, I think. Okay, it's election night, but I raised a lot of money and escaped to Hawaii. So I don't really care if I win or lose. And so far it's looking like a solid loss. Like not only have I gotten a single state, I don't think I've gotten a single vote. Okay, speed up, speed up. This is just painful. Please, someone, someone's got to vote for your future president. I didn't get a single vote. All right, you know what? I'll go for election next time. And I've got a new bold strategy. My strategy is to run against myself. There's just two different future presidents with the exact same ideas. All right, I'm going to get a smear merchant in Texas immediately. I'm going to try and flip Texas to my plan for getting us killed by a meteor because his plan of getting killed by a meteor is totally inferior. A nice answer to an interview question. Whatever you think. Yes, the audience love that. Just turn the audience and go, look, whatever you think is what I think. Opponent opposes stopping the coronavirus. He does not plan to stop it with a meteor like I do. Trust me, he is useless. He is not going to deliver on his meteor promises. Okay, time for my running mate. Should I pick someone credible? This guy did very well against me last time, even though he is specializing in lunacy. Oh, why does Texas hate me now? Why do you hate lunacy? Get a spin doctor in Texas. Spin this around for me fast. Yes, yes, good job, spin doctor. Oh, for fact sake, stop visiting Texas. It's mine. I'm going back. I'm just not giving up on Texas. They just like whoever turns up. They don't care because, well, rightly so, we're basically the same candidate. Look at that. He just left and came back and they love him again. Look, I'm here now. Love me. Look, I want to stop the coronavirus. There you go. Once they say that, they're all for it. Just don't tell them how I'm going to do it. I'm going to get intimidators in Michigan to stop them voting for anyone else. Vote for me. I will get you all killed. Trust me. By the way, my opponent doesn't want to stop the coronavirus. I just keep repeating this for no reason. All right, guys, we're winning. We're two weeks out from the election, but I'm going bankrupt to somebody. Please help me, California. I flew all the way here just to ask you for a loan. Oh, thank you. All right, last week of the election, I've saved the game and I'm just going to come out and say it, everyone. I kind of support killing all humans. Just whisper into the mic as I walk off stage. OK, the race is still close. I can still do this, even though I just said I want to kill all humans. Oh, no, going into election night. It's 49% to 50%. Am I actually going to lose? Please. OK, we're getting there. We're getting some votes. I got Florida. That's big, I think. Texas is the big one. I need Texas. Come on, Texas. One, two, die. One, two, die. God damn it, Texas. I put so much time into you. And just because I say I want to kill all humans, you give up on me? Let's try this again. OK, I want to kill all humans. OK, it's as if you can't win. If you say you kill all humans, it's not fair. OK, what if instead of that, I just said frogs deserve a vote? How about that? OK, they're still a bit pissy, but not entirely pissed off. Like, I might still win. OK, this is looking much better. I mean, I'm still losing, but not by as much as before. Come on, Texas. Come on, yes. Good job, Texas. Uh-oh. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Wait. Wait, is it? I won. I won. I won. Look at him. He's so happy, I think. Like, if the other one was honest with what he wanted to do, which was kill all humans, then I could have just destroyed him. Because I could have also just said I also want to kill all humans, and then they just have to pick. Just a quick test. I will put everything full for my person and for his person, everything empty. Then straight away, I'm just going to say, look, kill all humans. OK, everyone hates me, but surely I can visit more states and I can win. OK, I think I've got a good hold on things, despite wanting to kill all humans. I'm a charismatic guy who has a lot of stamina. So I guess they like me. Here we go. Here's where I landslide him. There we go. That's what you like to see. Oh, it's so easy when everyone wants to die. Voter issues, killing all humans. For some reason, people don't actually want to die. Well, 1.5% of people was all for it. But most people didn't like that stance. But I still won anyway. All right, well, I think I've proven that I would be an effective president. I would deliver on my promise, believe me. I mean, my running mate is the meteor. He's already here. But I hope you enjoyed my campaign and I hope I got your vote. I appreciate it, folks. I really do. Yeah, I hope you enjoyed the video. I appreciate you watching, as all those folks, I really do. If you want to see more of my stuff, I post every single day, I'll serve a second channel and a Twitch in the description. But yeah, that's about it. Thank you so much for watching and I hope to see you next time. Bye for now.