 So I'm sure this is different for everybody, but for me the hardest part about clinical year Wasn't the endless studying or the pressure to know lots and lots of things It was not having a place to call home for a whole year not being in the same place for a whole year Now I'm gonna get a little psychological maybe a little bit philosophical, but you're watching one of my videos So you know this happens sometimes According to Tai East Gibson, who's an absolutely brilliant woman and the founder of the personal development school Which I can't say enough good things about According to her and also Tony Robbins We struggle in life We feel pain and we feel difficulty when our personality needs are not met and we all have the same six personality needs love and connection Certainty uncertainty contribution significance and growth, but we all have unique personalities So we need these things in different ways and in different amounts for me Certainty is my biggest personality need things that make me feel safe Secure comfortable. They make me really happy and content So just as an example for me personally when I don't know where my next paycheck is coming from or if I don't know Where I'm sleeping tonight I get anxious and really motivated to solve the problem and make a plan like one time I ended up without a job because I quit my scribe job to go work somewhere better But the new place ended up restructuring or something like that and they weren't able to hire me anymore And of course they told me last minute after I had already quit the scribe job So I was out of luck. I was without a job. I Hardcore panicked and spent all day and night sending out resumes applying to jobs online Calling doctors offices just looking for a job Because I just couldn't bear the thought of not having a paycheck for like five minutes and because I called and applied to so Many different places I ended up getting a medical assistant job within like two days Which was good, but those two days were tough So the point is I don't do well with too much uncertainty and for me having to pack up all my things Load up the rev for rent a trailer and then go move into a new place every five weeks during clinical year has been really tough Now thankfully most of my rotations have been here in Syracuse, but they were pretty sporadic So like I would have one in Syracuse and then I'd have one in like Utica Which is an hour and a half away and I ended up staying in Utica instead of living in Syracuse and doing like an hour and a half Commute, which was just too much But even though a lot of my rotations were in the same place That was still uncertain until about two to three weeks before the rotation would start So I wouldn't be able to make a concrete plan and rent one place for a long time So I still ended up moving because I just didn't know for sure where I was gonna be and just all the moving the packing Unpacking living in different houses living in different areas living with different people in addition to studying tons of information Getting used to different work schedules different office environments meeting new people at work all that kind of stuff was just a lot of Change and that was something that was pretty tough on me And I know this now Settling into the house that I just rented Which is this house and this is the house that I rented for my last rotation But because I'm taking a job here in Syracuse after this rotation is over once I graduate from PA school What I ended up doing is I actually signed a year-long lease for this place because I'll be here for the foreseeable future Minus some time in September and October when I'll be traveling. So I bought a bed. I bought a dresser I bought a freaking comforter I actually picked out like some color themes and decorations and like how I actually want my life to be and I was just laying there this Morning feeling just unbelievably content and happy and that's where the motivation for this video came from Sometimes you don't realize how hard some things are for you until the struggle is over and you've passed it and you've surpassed it And then you're looking back and you have something to compare it to and so now knowing that I'll be living here for at least the next year I have my own room with my own furniture and a garage. I've got a regular gym I've got a regular local coffee shop and I can actually make some like friends and connections and put down roots Which is just an awesome awesome feeling and it's made me realize how hard this last year has actually been for me Now some people who love traveling love meeting new people and that just really drives them and energizes them They might really like this aspect of clinical here. This might be a positive thing for those people I'm just sharing my experience as someone who really prefers stability now. I do love novelty I do love traveling and having new experiences meeting new people, but over the last 10 years I've just been in so many new settings new cities new jobs meeting so many new people doing so many new things in College and then in the Navy and then post back and then working and then PA school that I'm just kind of done And like I said in my last video where I told you about the new job I got I'm just really stoked to finally have some stability for the first time in my life in a long time And I'm just super grateful and happy that it's finally here or at least it's coming soon So alright guys, thank you for watching Thank you for emailing me all your amazing stories if you're a PA student medical student nursing student Or even like an undergrad or any other kind of student comment below Let me know what the hardest part of your training is. Is it the academics? Is it being away from home for the first time? What is it? I'd love to know. See you in the next video