 Just want to speak some facts tonight Because there's a lot of videos on here which Kind of tell people What they want to hear? They tell you that You are the number one gray day source of supply The most important person at the narcissist life The closest person to them So no matter what the narcissist Cares about you You're important to them, but I'm not gonna tell you that because if I said that I Would be lying to you truth is They don't care about you they never did They never cared about you from the moment you first met it was all a lie But they acted like they cared about you in the beginning And you hold on to that image to that false character Because you want to believe that it was real It's difficult to accept especially after everything You invested in them and maybe You were alone. You were lonely for such a long time You just want to believe that you finally found a good person You finally found someone Who does care about you because I'm all for being optimistic and being positive But I don't really like toxic positivity I don't think that's very helpful And if we're gonna be honest here The truth is that most people Pretty much everyone That you meet in life Is not gonna care about you They're especially not gonna care about you the way that you want them to care about you even if they're not a narcissist Even if they're not a toxic person Truth is people Do care about themselves The most Some of us have to we have to do that to survive to take care of ourselves so Yeah, that's important to understand and even with Impoffs People who care about you more than they care about themselves. That's not good either It's not healthy for you and it's not healthy for them. They should always be a balance. It's good to have a balance so Keep that in mind No one's gonna care about you more Than you care about yourself And you shouldn't want it any other way But as I said there should be a balance Of course People should care about themselves But they should also care about other people To some extent as well Difference with narcissists is that they really do not care about you at all Not even a little bit and that is why you are always trying to get them to understand your point of view You were trying to get them to understand basic concepts Even a child should be able to understand and I'm talking about things like Love Respect these are things that they should already know Yet you were always trying to get them to understand it you were trying to teach them how to have Basic Morals values beliefs and principles These are simple basic things That they could not comprehend or grasp But you try to teach them anyway It was like you were their Parent or their teacher and you tried to teach them because you thought that maybe one day They would get it Maybe one day they would understand That what they're doing is wrong. It's unacceptable. It's literally like dealing with a child It really is It's like you're dealing with someone who doesn't know anything They haven't learned anything. They haven't been taught anything. I mean sometimes you may wonder whether their parents their entire lives How could they go through life this far without even knowing any of this? Because they're always doing things wrong They're always hurting people, but you see it as though They must not know what they are doing They must be unaware of it. They just must not understand they can't know what they're doing because It's so reckless So foolish and it's like they're completely Cold and distant They're insensitive They don't care about you or anyone else They don't even care about themselves Because they even sabotage themselves. They put themselves in danger so You assume that the only logical explanation is that they just don't get it They don't understand what they're doing Because if it was a normal person They would not keep doing something if they know that it is hurting someone Or if they know that it is hurting themselves a Normal person would not keep doing it if they knew that So you assume that the narcissist must not know they must not be aware But you have to understand that narcissists are not normal people They're not normal people at all Because they know that it is hurting you They are aware of that. They understand it They know that they are hurting themselves They just don't care and they don't care because They believe that you deserve it They believe that you deserve everything they do to you So there's no reason for them to regret it. There's no reason for them to be sorry But narcissists are not completely stupid. I mean they are but not completely Because they know That cheating Lying and stealing is wrong They are aware of that they know that it's wrong To hurt people But they don't think that it's wrong for them to do it Because in their minds You have done something very bad to them. So they think that It's okay for them to do what they're doing They think it's justified Because in their minds they believe that you deserve it So that means it's not wrong for them to do it. But if someone else did it then that would be wrong That's how they see it Because those people haven't had to go through what they have had to go through with you That's how they're looking at it like you're attacking them and They are defending themselves against you but in reality all they're actually doing is They are constantly reacting to these thoughts and feelings inside their minds It has nothing to do with you but they are punishing you for that Instead of accepting that it is coming from within them So you might not have done anything wrong. You may not have done anything to them But it's like no matter how much you try to talk to them no matter how much you try to Prove a point to them. It doesn't change anything. It doesn't make a difference Because it's got nothing to do with you anyway. It's not your problem to fix They're just using you as someone who They can blame You're just a vessel for their problems For them to vent. You're that punching bag that emotional tampon Because They feel like you've hurt them. You've done something to them Or if you haven't then They feel like you could have You would have if you had the chance and in their minds their feelings are facts their feelings become the truth So whatever they feel that is what you said or did Doesn't make any sense That is the problem There's no room for any logical explanation. There's no room for a rational argument Because they do not want to believe you And they do not care about your feelings They don't care if they've hurt you. They don't care about you at all because Everything they've done to you in their minds that is nothing compared to what you have done to them And even if you haven't done anything That doesn't mean that you're not gonna do anything so in their minds you still deserve it Even if you haven't done anything wrong This is why after everything It always comes back to no contact That's what we always advise that's what we always encourage no contact This is why Because you cannot get through to them you cannot get them to see sense You cannot get them to see your side. It's just not gonna work It's never gonna work out that way you have to remember that This is a mental illness they are detached from reality and That's why the longer you spend around them you feel yourself detached from reality you feel yourself becoming crazy and They start to make more sense you start to empathize with them You start to rationalize things for them and you enable their behavior. Why? Because you're becoming more like them the longer you spend around them. You're becoming crazy just like them That is why The best thing you can do is go no contact That's what helps to clear the fog It helps you to wake up Because there is no points in talking to them. You can't talk to a crazy person without becoming crazy yourself you're just gonna lose your mind in the process and Sometimes it's very difficult to get back to where you were Once you've been involved with people like that You're not gonna get anywhere with it. You're just gonna be wasting your time and Destroying Your mental and emotional health in the process because they are not normal They are not logical or rational people They're like children in adult bodies Their brains are underdeveloped That's why they're so emotional that's why there's always so much chaos and drama and disruption Because they are completely delusional they are in denial And they blame shift they project their issues onto other people Even when you think you finally got it You finally got through to them They finally understand Things are finally gonna change they're gonna get better and then you realize that nothing has changed at all And in fact things are getting worse because it doesn't matter what they say they understand What they agree to What they promise you they might understand something in one moment They might agree to something They might promise you something but then the next moment it is no longer relevant It no longer has any meaning Because there is no truth or logic in their world In this world that they've created inside their heads There's no truth or logic there because it changes depending on how they feel in the moment And that their feelings change from one moment to the next They do know the difference between what is right and what is wrong but only if It is not applied to them They will tell you what you've done wrong, but they don't have that same energy towards themselves Because the truth is just however they feel That is the truth to them So if they feel in their minds that what they did was justified Then the rules are not applied to them. It's always gonna be wrong for you. You can never justify it That's not allowed as an example They may know and understand that stealing is wrong But they're still gonna steal from you if they think it's justified because They need it because you did something bad to them or Because they would they think that if you had the opportunity you would steal from them You would have done the same thing. That's how they're thinking So they always find a way to rationalize it and this is the same thing with any abuser Every abuser has an excuse That is one thing they all have in common they all have an excuse Even where they may not seem like it You may not see it, but they all rationalize it in their heads in some way no one can really Openly and consciously do something wrong Without feeling bad about it without feeling regret Without feeling shame Without wanting to correct it even narcissists They always have to rationalize it There always has to be a reason for it and if you listen to them They will always give you a reason an excuse for their behavior Because they're delusional Their minds are warped, but they know what is right and what is wrong and Just like a murderer They know that Someone tried to kill them that would be wrong That would be unacceptable But they don't think of themselves in the same way because of their minds that they are special They are different to everyone else so the rules do not apply to them They can do whatever they want and it's not wrong But if you or someone else did that Especially if you did that to them Then it is very wrong And you have to pay for it. You have to be punished But in their minds they are specials so they can do whatever they want And that's why you see them Doing whatever they want That's why they're so reckless and impulsive It's why they take so many risks for their lives and their health Because they are completely delusional and they have this magical thinking that The rules do not apply to them Things will work themselves out or someone will come along to save them because they think they're special they think they're God's gift and Someone is going to be there to protect them to give them what they need Because they think they're different to everyone else, but remember this is in their heads So it has very little effect in reality It may have some effect in the beginning of being it It impacts their confidence so they they come across as more confident people maybe even quite arrogant and this Can attract people sometimes Because we want to be around people who are driven who have a purpose People who are passionate and they're very good at emulating that but they always end up losing in the end And not just in the end. They they're miserable every day Remember when you were with them every day there was a problem They were never happy with anything you did for them. It was never enough. They always had a reason why they couldn't be happy and And in the game they just end up destroying themselves everything you saw in the beginning everything that attracted you that gradually fades away because Eventually they go too far They overplay their role They do things that they said they would never do so they end up exposing themselves and Gets to a point where they can't go any further But they can't achieve anymore, but you know what in my own life on my own experience. I have never Seen any narcissist Who continue to develop and grow Who continue to elevate? I've never seen that they all go down in the end they all do The reason for that is because The way that they choose to live it's because of their lifestyle and behaviors Everything that you pointed out that was wrong with them But they wanted to rebel against you they wanted to be disobedient and Yeah, they get what they wanted at the end It comes back to get them if you give them enough rope they will hang themselves because Their disorder does not let them succeed in anything Over a long period of time and of course that is why they are always looking for new sources They're always looking for someone to come along and save them because they know that karma is coming to get them They know they're predestined. They know they're doomed They know that they haven't got anything good to look forward to They know that nothing good is coming for them. So what is the point? Why should they act right Why should they take care of you? Why should they treat you right? There's no reason for them to care about you or anything else Because they already know they're doomed they already know that they're predestined So it's not gonna change anything if they treat you right They take care of you That's just gonna make things better for you That's just gonna make you feel good And they're still gonna be miserable It's not gonna make things better for them because they don't get any fulfillment out of that Out of doing things for you out of making you happy You have to remember they are not empaths. They are nothing like empaths When we do things for people When we show our love and compassion When we care for other people That makes us feel good inside We get something out of that, but they don't They don't get anything from that and actually they They don't really enjoy seeing you happy anyway, unless they could be in control of it and just as quick as they Lift your mood They will want to bring it right back down again So don't fall for that. It's always a rollercoaster with a narcissist Just as soon as you go up You're about to come crashing down again And that's all it is If you look back at your relationship with them, it was just up down up down up down and I think that's why we stayed with them for so long Because we remember when things were up And we want to get back to that when we're down. So a lot of it's And I'm sure you've all experienced this a Lot of your relationship with a narcissist is not actually any happiness or fulfillment It's just waiting around You're just waiting for something to happen You're waiting for something good But it never comes Instead all you get is just this fake affection These lies future faking They're just telling you whatever they think you want to cure But it never goes anywhere. You're just waiting around for something that It's never gonna come into fruition It's never gonna happen The sooner you realize that The easier it will be for you to get out of it. I've spoken to people who Have been in these relationships for decades Some of them even 50 60 years Their entire life just passed on by They waited and waited their entire lives This life is meant to be a gift Whether it's a gift from God or the universe, whatever it is that you believe This is one of the greatest gifts in the universe to be given this life that we should cherish and be grateful for and then These narcissists come along And think that they can just waste our lives away. It's really sick And I just can't get my head around it I mean that really is as bad as it gets to waste someone's life that is the ultimate form of abuse to make someone think at some level for 10 20 30 50 years, however long it is To make them think that you do care about them That you have their best interest in mind when really you don't care You have no intention of things make of making things better You're just keeping them around so you can keep using them Extracting what you want from them So you can isolate and control them And keep them as your own personal puppet To do whatever you want them to do so that you can feel better about yourself But that's what they do That's what these narcissists do and I just can't understand it even now You know, I think of it From my own view and maybe that is why I can't fully Grasp this concept Because I'm thinking about it from a normal logical rational mind that I have And I'm thinking Okay, of course, there's been times in my life where I have been Angry at people maybe someone did me wrong I wanted to get them back. I wanted to take revenge on them and I'm sure we have all experienced that and Let's say you did take revenge on them you Went and you said something horrible to them you insulted them put them down You made them feel bad about themselves Maybe you Even went as far as to damage their property How did you feel? After you did that because I can tell you that from my experience and these types of situations I felt really guilty I Felt really bad. I felt like I had done something wrong And I felt like I never want to do that again Didn't even think about what the narcissist did to me or toxic people who Didn't even think about that Once I had done something To retaliate none of that mattered I Felt bad. I felt guilty And I had no desire whatsoever to do anything else to them. I Just wanted to leave them alone Maybe I hope that we could talk and things would get better and it wouldn't have to happen like that again But here's the part that I don't understand Here's the part that I just I can't make sense out of it And it's the way that They have this Anger and hatred towards us and it's like No matter how much they do to you they could bully and harass you for years for your entire life No matter how much they crush you No matter how much you they they bring you down There's just no cut-off point for the abuse Never stops it never ends Never satisfied That is just something that I just can't understand it If there's one thing that after Over four and a half years of making these videos if there's one thing that I just still cannot understand it Is that that is the one thing I cannot understand? I just don't know how their brains can just Be that way Where they're never satisfied no matter how much they abuse you It's like they never get fed up. I mean I think For myself And I assume that the way I think is how a normal person would think is that And I'm sure Those of you are watching this If you agree with it, then you can let me don't let me know down in the In the live shout of the comments below That's If someone has done something you don't like If they've harmed you whether it's intentional one intentional whatever it is You know, you're you're not happy with something that someone's done. You don't approve of it. Maybe you Take revenge or maybe you just think about taking revenge and that is enough You don't actually have to do anything other than the next day You feel bad about even thinking that Or maybe straight away as soon as you have these these thoughts of Getting them back of hurting them You just feel really guilty you feel like You're doing something wrong you feel shame and it's not like we're the narcissist Where you have that guilt and shame? And then it's like no, no, I don't want to deal with that Are they trying to project and deflect and it's no this is your problem not mine if you're an empath then it's You just can't get rid of it. It's like a flood of guilt and shame Takes over you it overwhelms you it's just Always on your mind and you never even think or consider That This really isn't even your guilt or shame it should be theirs because they're the ones who did something to you and It's completely normal for you to be thinking of Taking revenge. I mean, it's not good if you actually do take revenge But even then I can understand especially You know your dinner with a narcissist But then it also depends just how far you take it as well, but yeah, they don't think like that They do not think how we think how normal people think and it's very sad the way that they are just never satisfied with No matter how much they try to take revenge. They're never happy Never make some feel better about themselves. I mean it does for a moment, but then they've got to do something else And it just keeps going on and on Maybe the reason why is because they just never feel like they've won. Maybe that's it Maybe it's just because they're very jealous Very insecure They just have different brains different ways of thinking We all have the same needs We have the same needs as narcissists have they just go a different way About it Of how they try to get it because they don't believe that they can they can get it the right way My head is starting to hurt now Thinking very deeply And it's pretty late at night here almost 11 p.m. So I should probably Have some rest But yeah, we've got a hundred and thirty three live viewers on here only 63 thumbs up So, you know what I'm gonna say Please give this video a thumbs up down below it really helps us All right, that's it for this video. I hope you enjoyed it and I will talk to you in another one very