 The new video TanaCon, the good, the bad, the ugly is the first video that TanaMangu has made since the whole TanaCon debacle and it is a textbook example about how you do not apologize. What is up everybody? This is Chris from the Rewired Soul where we talk about the problem, but focus on the solution. And yeah, that's right. Tana just made her first video since the whole TanaCon thing. And here's the thing. I've talked about this in other videos about why I cover YouTube drama. It's because these are teachable moments. These are ways that we can sit back and reflect and not just watch passively, but learn from this. And Tana Mojo, she did not apologize. And like so many YouTubers do this, and I hope some people learn from this. But here's the reason why I want you, the viewers, the audience, to learn how to apologize correctly. Because here's the thing that you have to understand about how Tana screwed up with her apology. She is still going to have die-hard loyal followers, okay? She has over 3 million subscribers. She could do no wrong in their eyes. You are different. You are not a huge, gigantic YouTuber. You don't have a huge following. So if you're apologizing like this, you are going to have a lot of relationship issues. Not just with husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, but with your parents, with your friends, with your siblings, with your coworkers. Because a lot of people just don't know how to apologize, okay? So I'm going to save you a lot of time. I will link to Tana's video down below. But this thing is over an hour long. And let me tell you, there's nothing new in it. There's absolutely nothing new in it. There's a little bit. There's like maybe that much. But pretty much, she didn't cover anything that wasn't already said by other people who actually attended, or it wasn't covered in the Shane Dawson documentary. So it blows my mind that this thing was over an hour long. Somebody I follow is a guy named Peter Mann. If you don't know who he is, he's a YouTube drama channel. But he's also in recovery too. And like he made a video yesterday after Tana announced that she was releasing this video. And he basically made some predictions and he said, this video only needs to be two minutes long. It needs to be one to two minutes long. And I absolutely agree. Like the fact that it was an hour blows my mind. It doesn't need to be. So here's the primary reason why Tana's apology is just awful. And so many people do it. We see Tana doing it. We see Logan Paul doing it. We see so many people doing it after they screw up, which is not taking 100% responsibility. Okay, but they deceive you with this kind of double talk thing, right? Where they say, everything's my fault. At the end of the day, it's my fault. Everything's my fault. But okay, a good rule for apologizing, a good rule of thumb to use is how would you receive it? If somebody came at you in the same way, how would you receive it? So like something for all the addicts, alcoholics out there in recovery, something that I learned. See, I used to think that my addiction was a curse, but it's actually a blessing. Because without having been an addict and alcoholic who then got sober and clean, I would have never learned so many things to improve my life. And one of them, for those of you who are familiar, is the ninth step in 12 step programs. And basically the ninth step is making an amends. And the rule of that is whenever you make an amends, whenever you apologize, it is 1000% about you. It is not about the other person. It is not about these people. It's not about, oh, my parents mistreated me when I was a kid. So I developed into a scummy human being. It's none of that stuff. It's you. That's it. That's it, cut and dry, end of story. This is what I did wrong. Here's how I was wrong. I was being selfish. I was being self-centered. I was driven by ego. I am sorry that I hurt you. And then you say this, what can I do to make this better? Is there anything I can do to make this better? That's it. That is it, cut and dry. But if you manage to stomach the hour long of Tana's video, an hour long, like the good part is, the good part is, she acknowledges all the ways that she screwed up, okay? She says, this was on me. I did this out of spite. I'm glad that she like, I will say this. I'm glad she spent a few minutes really saying that the fact that she did this out of spite and revenge and all these other things was like, it was cool. Kudos to you, Tana. But the thing is, she just couldn't. Like, she couldn't just keep the focus on her. And you saw it throughout the Shane Dawson documentary too. She kept pointing the finger at Michael. And she kept bringing up all this other stuff. And she kept, you know, even on Twitter and stuff like that, she was saying these very like, vague things about, oh, there's a lot of dark stuff that you don't know. And I heard things, and I heard this, and people told me not to work with it, da, da, da, da. Like, cut it out. Cut it out. If you want to clear up your name, if you want to make an amends for what you did, leave it everybody else out of it, okay? Because if you get down to the nitty gritty, if you go back to the first part of this whole thing, the very beginning, it was you. It was you. That was it. Had you not been fueled by this rage and been driven by emotions, you would have not done these things in the first place. Like, you can't get mad at a lion for biting your face off when you jump in the lion's den, okay? You should have never jumped in the lion's den in the first place. You say, oh, my bad, I shouldn't have jumped in the lion's den. Something I've talked about in other videos, pretty old videos, I'll try to link them up in the info card if I can find them, is understanding internal locus of control, okay? People who have an internal locus control, it is scientifically proven that they have less depression, less anxiety, and they're a hell of a lot happier. And here's why, because they believe that they are in 1000% control of all of their circumstances. Everything is their fault. That is the way I live today, and my life is in control. I don't become a victim anymore. You know what I mean? But also, when I make amends to people, I say, it's me. I don't say, hey, I'm sorry I screwed up, but here's what they did, right? And like I said, if any of you watched the Logan Paul interview with Casey Neistat, he did a lot of the same thing, right? He says, oh, this is because I got caught up like the YouTube thing and the atmosphere and doubt it, I like cut it out. Just cut it out, okay? Like, because this goes into the second and final part of this video that I'm trying to teach all of you about, okay? Your actions speak louder than words, okay? Your actions will always speak louder than words. And here's the problem. Here's the problem. Tana hasn't done anything. Tana hasn't done anything, okay? Like, when you, like, okay, I'll put it this way. How many times have you apologized to people? Think about your mom, dad, and people close to you. How many times have you said sorry? How many times have you said sorry and then just did it again? Okay, here's the thing. Like, when Logan Paul first, you know, did the whole suicide force thing, you know, and all that, like, I made a video and I'm like, hey, you know, let's chill out. Let's see what he does over time. It's been some time and his actions haven't spoken louder than his words, right? Like, nobody can forgive you or trust you immediately. You have to prove yourself. So when it comes to Tana, like, her apologies mean jack squat because she hasn't done anything. Like, it's, to me, to me personally, like, when you're saying, oh, I'm going to do this and we're going to make it right and we're going to do all this, like, all they did was refund people 65 bucks. Right? And there's still a bunch of unanswered questions, but I'm really going to try to stay out of that kind of drama of the situation. But what I'm saying is, is like, Tana's taken the last month off. She says she hasn't been on social media, even though she has been. Right? Like, she should be just going around Los Angeles or wherever she lives, meeting people. That's what she should have done for the last month, but she hasn't. She hasn't. She, she puts on this, this act, this show. You know, I'm figuring out ways every single day, every single day, my, my whole day has been consumed about trying to figure out how to make it up to people. Really? Really? Okay. Your words mean jack squat. All right. And this is for all of you out there. Like I said at the beginning of this video, Tana's going to have a diehard loyal following no matter what happens. Like she could not do anything for anybody. Okay. Aside from those refunds, she'll still have a diehard loyal following. Okay. But when it comes to you, your actions speak louder than words. We call this kind of like a living amend. So for me, I don't pick up drugs and alcohol anymore. I don't lie, cheat and steal from people anymore. I don't manipulate people anymore. Okay. I try to improve myself on a daily basis. I showed up, I showed up to work. I show up for my girlfriend. I show up for my son. I show up for my family. These are my actions speaking louder than words. And over the course of time, people are like, dang, he really is sorry because he has changed who he is, who he is as a person because he's done the actions. All right. So anyways, like I said, this video is for all of you. There's no way Tana's ever going to see this video. So I just want to teach all of you like there's a right and a wrong way for apologizing. All right. Don't do it the wrong way. When you apologize, when you make amends, it's all about you and nobody else. All right. But anyways, I would love to know your thoughts. Leave them down in the comments below. Okay. And share this video. Share this video. If you know people out there who don't know how to apologize properly, they're always passing the buck onto somebody else and justifying and rationalizing all the terrible things they do. All right. But anyways, that's all I got for you. If you like this video, please give it a thumbs up. And if you are new here, I'm always making videos to help you out with your mental and emotional well-being. So make sure you click that little round subscribe button and a big thank you to everybody supporting the channel over on Patreon. And if you would like to help me spread a message of hope, you click or tap on that Patreon icon right there. All right. Thanks so much for watching. Apologize correctly. And I'll see you next time.