 this is the focus here hello there you learned another letter letter o makes the sound oh as in origami origami is japanese paper folding this one is a paper crane look i made lots of paper cranes just for you cute i'll like it the thing i would say no just quickly does as like a superficial thing i love full-ground elements and like staggering of elements throughout the scene so i'm i'm a fan of you know staging not staging which is kind of elements in your scene like that but it kind of overlaps a bit too much subjectively here even here he got something here then he gets to here because that's an important point to look at i feel like that needs to be not obstructed like that and then it's okay and then we're here and it's okay so to me given that there's so much empty space here i would put it here and you can put even like a even closer one up here just because it would give you a nice silhouette with this dark color um and stuff like that you give me like some in the in the foreground like i like that stuff i just feel like right now we want to keep these moments there when he waves as clean as possible just because there's no need like i like this like that there and you have that the depth there and there's something going on but visually i would keep it somewhere here anything that doesn't obstruct this view hello there other than that there's some good stuff i think you could hello there turn of the sounds just on that wave i think it will be okay to have a little bit of potential lean over this leg a bit more meaning that the weight shifts a bit over which then has a slight foot shift this guy i don't know what that scribble was but this foot will kind of rotate this way pivoting off of here only because if you look at the feet through all of this i mean there's a step there but through all of that it's kind of like that that ik fee i don't want to move them feel and it would be okay if someone's just doing this all the time or it'd be kind of like hey i'm showing you this that's fine but when you have a big move like this i think we could loosen them by we it's the royal we i know you're doing all the work or we could loosen up the character bit where he goes hey and even if that's just a slightly with a slight rotational adjustment there not taking a foot off and taking a step let's see the rest is cool because you do have through that movement you got body movement in here like there's a good connectivity throughout all of this even on that turn i like that little head moving that wobble on the shell and that's fine too i'm gonna put back the sound just in case for this hello there hello there this might be a bit poppy in hello there how it opens up over two frames and then you can see how it locks from here to here there's nothing else if you could have maybe two or three frames extending and even overshooting a bit and coming back to that so it doesn't feel like an art man stop motion pop into shapes none of that's wrong but that's just that's not the style of it there given the fluidity of everything else i feel like you want to retain that for consistency hello there you learn and even hello there you learn i think you could keep the mouth open words hello there you versus going back into a default you learned another i mean it's not a default because it's a smile but like the mouth doesn't have to close in between words that's my point you learned another letter you learned there you i think you is a bit stronger than the other ones i think you have a little bit of head accent up and down you learned another letter now the letter even even in a letter even like that at the end a little bit of up and down just kind of was you listen to the sounds hello there you know i don't like those accidents you have to hit them all the time but every now and then will be kind of for connectivity sake be nice to kind of have the sound affect the head hello there you learned another letter letter oh makes the sound i mean you can be also on the nose when he goes letter oh oh instead of down and then back it could be down back like this so it's almost like the shape creates an o that makes sense an o face there oh makes the sound oh makes the sound oh makes the sound and i think it makes put on scrubbing here i think that is a bit big for makes the and it's a there so it will be out of your tongue actually to be honest i thought all this time i don't know if you have a tongue but i would keep it maybe this wide and have a tongue out for that makes the sound i think that is too big sound oh oh as in and even here oh and then i will go back to maybe up to here and not close it because then you go from uh through here as it because then he continues with ah so it's uh as in so that you can just kind of keep it in that opening size as in let's go back to the body learned another letter letter oh makes the sound oh yeah by the wise it's it's fine and take this scrubbing off here scrubbing is that like that it's a good lead to this he looks this is importance make just again the foreground thing the sound oh as in and that is fine presenting it's a kid's thing to sound like that makes sense oh into that probably personally i will bring in the o here just because again in terms of silhouette it's empty versus that it's in front of the tree as in and then actually instead of as in as in going this way i would actually do as in going the other way so the whole thing leads over there into that point in the move and the camera move to the screen right area zin origami i do like this though that the arm goes up on origami on that origami is against the big big energy change but then i would still have a little bit more rotation up and down in the head in origami and that would be origami again with a little flourish origami is Japanese that's really cute i mean i like all of this got the turns you got the the lifting of this size and that's just a foot roll in one axis move here i think that's great origami sometimes it's a bit wobbly watch disney here origami that just even in through here when he goes up at the beginning if it's borderline overextended i k where the leg over stretches a little bit it's not super popular but right there origami that needs a bit wobbly so you would not have to compensate with maybe a slight foot roll if you can see it or lower it a bit more and if you have a stretch function on this origami i do like this the delicateness of that origami there's little changes in in the hand in the finger pose and also the wobble not the wobble but the up and down because of the body that's great origami is Japanese that's really cute the only thing is once you get to here then it gets a bit stiff and i know you can't do much because of the shell but you have that that and then the head ready that feels like it's one big piece so i would separate that and i will probably lead with those arms because that's now he's going over there audience looking here origami picks it up and that's the focus and i think with everything else moving we're almost a bit like well where am i looking everything is moving but imagine he gets there and then stays put has a little bit of overlap impact on the head because of the steps here but then these are the things that move so imagine you're doing this with those arms but the body is still here and he might track the head and follow this maybe three four frames delayed so basically this starts moving and this starts moving a couple frames later then this starts to turn because of now the arms in the body Japanese paper fold Japanese paper folding but the accents are better here is Japanese paper folding Japanese paper folding yeah i like that part there Japanese paper fold i like the timing of this how he just goes delicately down he's paper folding the folding Japanese paper folding it's a bit even in through there with almost a bit of a weird pivot off the middle finger you can see in 2d space kind of sticks there i'm kind of vary the timing potentially the drop or lift or rotate up so we get away from that sticky frame through there it's not super sticky all the time what has a slight pivot off that fingertip this one when he's paper folding paper folding i think you're closing on folding is too soon is paper folding it's soon see when he is folding i think that's probably a bit off when i watch it in real time it feels a frame or two is paper folding this one folding this one is a paper crane i like this a lot it's good focus to keep alive and you got to look giggle in the body that that is also in the arms look i think that's really great look this i would go look but now we're having overlapping arms so i would either bring that arm a bit lower and they were going a bit higher or at this point let me see it could even be a bigger turn almost cheat and have that hand yeah might be too far i'm gonna hide it completely behind the body but i would just separate these for cleaner silhouette because you already have a bit of a busy background with this this this in terms of lines and textures so i want to keep this silhouette as clean as possible because you do want to lead the audience over there we're following this with that and i want to that should be clear i made lots of paper cranes i made lots of paper cranes the cranes is a bit i like that there's an accident in the body going up but then it feels stiff again throughout there now it's so separate head and body a bit more and have a slight flush accident in the head on crane of paper cranes just for you like this is nice how how here the head drags a bit and has that separation made lots of paper right through the stop let me just quickly check what the arm is doing there's something this is a bit watch the root you're going forward slows down a bit and then whoa right there the root goes forward a bit too fast it happens almost at the same time as the leg goes forward there so that leg move that body and the leg connection is a bit too parented so i would ease into that forward move a bit you know so it's not this this and suddenly whoa we're moving forward and then slows those low so that the leg can lead a bit more yeah it's too fast even if you would do it then this arm would drag a bit more because it's a sudden body move that the arm would inherit immediately and then we have an immediate stop and even if you would immediately stop for whatever reason then this arm would shoot forward a bit for some overshoot and then drag there so watch out just for that root moment there lots of paper so that goes into everything like that sudden body move then you would have to have the head dragged a bit more of paper cranes just for you watch out just for you it's a bit edgy formal tangent there i will keep that it's a nice clean silhouette so you know you don't have the thumb here as a tangent or even over here might be on so i like what you're doing here just close to this so what are we doing here then i would just delay the camera maybe don't go as far you know what i mean because the interest is this so if we're going over here we might not need all of this so you could technically reframe so that your frame more like this that's as far as you go that's still in the third and then you have your arm that's going to be nicely cleaned up here right so imagine you're going this far to the right gives you a nice room here dies a bit at the end i think with the fade out i think the whole animation ends and then you fade out so you can see the cranes they stop rotating and he stops moving so maybe fade out sooner or maybe just keep going with him keep alive and keep going with those rotations and that's kind of that super cute it's getting better better all right there's an email you can sign up you can start whenever you want you can submit whatever you want you get 16 submissions either way a like and subscribe would be awesome all right thank you