 Your Coca-Cola bottler presents Claudia based on the famous play and novels by Rose Franken Brought to you transcribed Monday through Friday by your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola Relax and while you're listening refresh yourself. Have a Coke and now Claudia oh Isn't it wonderful to go to bed early? What's wonderful about it? You know I like my like Wonderful oh Sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep. I shall wake up as fresh as the daisy in the morning any fresher than you are It won't be so daisy laughter. I mean every word I say Are you sleepy? Wait a minute. I'll see No, no no well, maybe I should do something. I've been meaning to do for a long time What's that? There was a committee lady called me up the other day and asked me find some old clothes to spare Oh, maybe since I'm not sleepy. I should at least it's cool What's that got to do with anything everything if you're not sleepy. There's no use going to bed on a hot night That makes sense Or does it? There you are How early is it exactly must be a little after 10? Just finished giving the baby his last bottle his last bottle. I feel liberated. No two o'clock feeding I think I'm going to miss it like a broken leg Oh, I think there's something romantic about getting up in the middle of the night to feed the baby even for that Must be purely a female reaction You will kindly not call me female in that tone. Hmm. What tone would you like me to call you female? No tone Oh You know, there's something not nice about being called a female really not like being called woman or girl or anything else Female very descriptive very succinct when used advisedly very apt. I don't like it. I Didn't think you would my little female Pull every hair out of your head one by one. Is this one of those times this is one of those times If you started now we could get finished in time to go to bed. Let's see a week from Tuesday You're very smart you you male you now. That's where the sex is different. A man likes to be called a male He likes it very much. Oh go to bed. I am tired of talking to you This is the night of miracles my son no longer gets a two o'clock feeding and my wife is tired of talking to you Rapture rapture Why you're in the closet how about bringing me my pajamas I'll promise never to call you female if you do. Oh, you better not call me female whether I do or whether I do not Getting tough, aren't you? Promise. Oh promise me. Oh wise married life a series of bribes and promises Here comes the bribe here comes the bribe All right, all right, I'll promise anything for my pajamas I do did I do Not here No, we didn't under any yank tank the bullfrog jump from bank bank Claudia Claudia aren't you ever coming out? Are you sulking or thinking? I never And you never think so. What are you doing? David you mind coming in the closet and taking down this big box for me. Would you please what box? That one on the shelf the blue one blue and what for you have to know what for everything Can't you just do as you're told man is a thinking rational animal? He must be given reason you mean man or male cornered. I mean male, but we let it stand at man Take down that box or while you're reaching take down the box next to it Would you please make up your mind if you want any others? No, I know why I married a tall man I wonder what's in that fight when next to it. Well, maybe you better bring it down while you're at it There they are now they're all down help yourself really are so handy around the closet If you have any complaints get yourself another husband first thing in the morning I will now you've got all these boxes gaily strewn out over the closet floor. Just what are you going to do with it? More questions. I am going to go through them and see what is in them and dollar I've decided seeing is it so early, and you're not sleepy. I'm not sleepy to go through my closet and and Sort things out. Oh, oh, oh, just look at this stuff a lot of it. I never use I never wear Crime to keep it around when there are lots of people who love having them certainly Well, they're Committees and committees come committees collecting clothes every day. It's a fine idea darling But you have to do it now and what's the matter with now nothing particular But tradition has it that the night is made for sleep and the morning is made for cleaning out cloth To tradition when the spirit moves in the occasion presents is more important now. Let's see what's in this box You you're really going to give some of these things away. I really am Why do you look so surprised nothing nothing? I just know how you hate to part with anything bits of string empty medicine bottle that is where you are wrong You couldn't be wrong glad to hear it So glad that I'll even lend you a hand and deliver the clothes to whatever committee you name the first thing in the morning That's my David. I'm going to give everything away everything. All right Hey, look at this red scarf isn't it charming? It's such a beautiful red. You'd look nice in that red. Think so? Hardly ever wear it. Well in that case then still if you say it's a nice color for me. Maybe next winter. I'll use it Darling anything you don't use that's what I said. Mm-hmm. That's what you said. Oh Well, and this red scarf I'll start a nice pile of things to give away to come to think of it. I've never seen you in a scarf at all Oh, well, that's because I never wear that. Ah, then that takes care of this whole box. It's nothing but scars David Not so fast. Why not since you never wear scar that's not the way to do it. It's not any fun so fast Oh, it's no fun. So slow Now what about this box those are sweaters. I put them away for the summer Which one didn't you wear last day that I am running this not you it takes a man to organize things doesn't need organizing All right. Now, uh, I hear which one of these didn't you wear last winter? Let me see. Um, blue one the brown one. Oh and that nice soft gray one this gray one. All right There they go with the red scar David. I can't give the blue one away mama knitted it. Mama will understand What makes you so sure mama always understands. That's what she's there for Oh, would I tell her that now now for your dresses? Yes, my dress is not see the winter ones are in this moth proof bag And the others are hanging hanging David. I am going to do this my own sweet way. Of course. You are I'm I'm only here to help We'll start on the winter clothes very lot Now I'll unzip the bag Good heavens. What's the matter? Have I got many dresses? I think you've kept every dress you ever bought I never saw you in this brown one. Oh, that's from before your time. Oh Did you still have wonderful on me? It did all the right things. Mm-hmm. And what are they? This doesn't fit me anymore. No, but you you would be dazzling Brown is my car They wouldn't go over my broad shoulders. Oh, well it would fit your left arm. Now Claudia Claudia get away with me Come on. Oh, just a minute. Hey, come on. Bend your arm. Watch out. You're breaking it. Claudia there. That's there You are beautiful. You look just like me. Just like me. Yeah. Oh darling when you like to see a Mickey Mouse tonight I've seen one now David you don't sound like me at all. Oh wait like if my half and I'll be right with you. No hat Sorry, you can have a babushka a babushka. What's a babushka scarf? Well, if it isn't our old friend the red one waiting for you lovely lovely. I shall have a turban The worst I've ever seen I'm not a Turk. I'm a swimming. Oh Oh And now now what other roads have you for me hanging there? Would you intend for me to clothe your entire harem? I certainly do and I'll have you know that I have 40 wives 40 count them That's too many much too many. Oh you poor man. Now. Where's that blue dress? Oh It's stunning to hear wrap it around your waist. Get away now. I'll do it. It gives me a Figure like an hour glass a minute last swami. Wee. Wee the mirror right here on the front of the door I'm stunning. There's no question of it. I am stunning David You'll break your neck standing on your phone. I need I need I need a few jewels now Swam is usually wear garlands of jewels I'm gonna need how's the necklace of poils one measly necklace. That's an insult the kind of insult. I adore Do do do do come in come in the come come me. I'll be one of your other wise Claudia Am I interrupting something not at all mother? Will you dare? I'm looking for my son-in-law not the state insane asylum. Mama. This is a harem. Don't you recognize it? They did hair and a harem. Oh Can't you think David looks stunning that is not exactly what I would call him back I said your mother has no aesthetic appreciation none at all never did David your turban is falling over one eye Oh, that's the way we're wearing them this season. That's a new looking turban. No, what can we do for you? Mrs. Brown? I thought you two came upstairs to go to bed. Oh, we did but then I had to clean my closet for charity Explains everything. Well, good night. Good night, mother-mine. Is that all you came to say? Making a slight noise remember. I thought perhaps David had gone out of his mind Mom and I what would make you think that oh, I'm bright that way. Well, have a nice Arabian night. You too Thank you, we will and we inmates down the hall would appreciate it if you kept your festivities down to a low Anything to oblige ma'am a roar low roar You know that's right as parents we should be more dignified why didn't somebody tell me sooner off Comes the turban off comes me ceremonial robes. I am to bed with dignity Yes with dignity my best face forward at all times you really going to bed. I am already there really wait for me hurry up Well, I have to clean up the closet first do it in the morning. It won't run away. You so sleepy. Oh the evening celebration has exhausted me I'm sleepy. Oh, all right, then Here I am and out goes the light Good night, harem. Good night. Swarmy. Hey, what are you sitting up for? I was just thinking not again David, I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight. What I am not. It's all your fault Now, what have I done now? You did not let me finish what I set out to do and what was that? You know my closet is good in the morning, but I can't sleep in the middle of doing the closet sleep in bed Well, it's too disorderly for me to sleep any place. You're neurotic probably I'd rather think I was neat. Why do you always have to get neat in the middle of the night? It's the only free time my conscience has Hey, hey come back here. Where are you going? Put everything away put everything away what you aren't we ever going to sleep tonight? When the youngsters come home from high school They have a way of heading straight for the icebox and if there's no coconut ice a whale goes up I'll admit they do make inroads on a case when they bring a crowd of friends home with them But a case of Coca-Cola still costs only a dollar It's one of the few things that hasn't gone up So why not let your teenagers enjoy themselves and treat their friends? I still hear all sorts of war yells and commotion coming from David and Claudia's room mr. King Do you have any idea of what's going on certainly? They're going to bed. It's a very noisy way of doing it Well, perhaps they're a little sidetracked you mean in the closet the old clothes hunt cleaning a closet out is like cutting hair It's impossible to stop once you've started. You're so right Mrs. Brown poor David He still has a great deal to learn about females particularly the little female called Claudia That's a lifetime job as a matter of fact. You'll learn something else new tomorrow about Claudia about the hay in her hair Haven't noticed it. You will tomorrow till then mr. King so long mrs. Brown Every day Monday through Friday Claudia comes to you transcribed with the best wishes of your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola So listen again tomorrow at the same time And now this is Joe King saying or of war and remember Whoever you are whatever you do wherever you may be when you think of refreshment think of Coca-Cola Or Coca-Cola makes any pause the pause that refreshes and ice-cold Coca-Cola is everywhere This broadcast of Claudia was supervised and directed by William Brown Maloney And now here's a word from your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola