 It was really hard to be a new mom We're having a food and job. I feel so depressed. I feel like I'm not good enough I feel burned out in the past 11 months since I had your baby I also felt I was very blessed that I had a baby I really love him and baby Edward, but I lost my identity Since I had my son so this video is probably what you expected typical in my YouTube channel because I'm not gonna share with you Advice because I have no advice this video is about the failure the struggle I've gone through in the past 11 months that I finally Break out and would like to share with all of you guys regarding the true side of myself and my personal life This is Dr. Nian City help people transition from a worker B to a partner manager and business leader from PM Accelerator.io If you want to learn the most effective way to become partner manager and you should subscribe to channel hit the like button So that you'll be fine every time I turn on the video every Wednesday. It's so hard to admit in public that I Was depressed for six months since I had my baby I felt totally lost because I feel like I lost myself. I lost my identity in the past. I was a YouTuber direct a product right running my own coaching business on the side But after I had my son, I just felt like every day I was around him and trying to do breastfeeding which is extremely demanding I'm not myself anymore. It's felt like I am a cow. I do nothing but feeding my baby Do you feel this way even your mom? I felt that way I'm no longer Dr. Nian City anymore. I'm no longer myself Now let's talk about the breastfeeding. Why? I felt I'm just a cow And so I'm doing full breastfeeding. I'm doing breastfeeding 100% no formula for my baby since day one And my baby was so attached to me and he refused to take bottles for months So he only wanted me attached to me do breastfeeding for a very long time. We'll try to let him cry it out Somehow he just refused to even take pacifier or bottles only me and he also gets up every three hours To get fat. Lots of people say hey Nancy, you can just do sleep training Maybe sleep training works well for some families and somehow didn't work out for my families Especially for my baby. We try sleep training It is it's still very hard to implement and also quick education What is sleep training for people who doesn't have a baby sleep training means that you let your baby cry To sleep to me to be frank. It's really hard as a new mom to hear your baby crying I let him cry for a little while if doesn't work. I'm coming checking with him So therefore my baby's sleep schedule wasn't perfect I still feed him seven times until the month six for newborns You feed him eight times per day for six months. He still was fed for seven times per day So I was in and out into my coaching business and and every three hours I feed my son and for a little while I have to film a YouTube video and guess what I really love filming YouTube video But there's a very frequent disruption. It's not having enough speed. Did you pay attention to my YouTube channel? I wasn't able to produce any new YouTube videos for four months All I can do is I go live on YouTube So at least have one hour and after one hour I immediately go back to feed my son or catch up with some sleep And finally until the nine months I was able to sleep through the night That's when my baby decided to finally go to bed around eight o'clock and get up around six o'clock Finally I was able to sleep through the night and but still get up six to feed him. It was hard. I Wasn't prepared. I didn't know what to expect even if I read lots of books, but each baby is very different I even grow some white hair and the other thing changing my identity was that you know as a youtuber We are very groomed well dressed in front of cameras and also in daily life as well because I went to a fashion design school Back in China when it was college. I was very fashionable But after a baby the first two months I was in pajamas every single day because I just feed my baby try to catch up on sleeps Feed my baby catch up on sleeps. So it was really hard in terms of I got a new identity I'm no longer who I am and nothing make it really challenging was that I had a cobalt tunnel for six months So what is cobalt tunnel means actually your hands hurt This happened to some percentage of women once they had a baby even before they had a baby The arms somehow the veins start to change and your hands your fingers start to feel very numb So I wasn't able to hold my baby for six months because my hands actually hurt felt numb Whenever I lift something heavy I can feel the pain even when I type on computers It was so painful even when I type on my cell phone It was also very painful I have to learn a new way holding my babies using my arms without hands with the help from my parents and my husband That's why I was depressed. So I'm sharing so much with you guys I just want to see the true side of myself Nothing's perfect. Lots of women went through the hard things or hard things being able to have a full-time job and also raise their babies and their kids You guys are the best moms ever But I also got the present surprise which is about how much I love being a mom All right, I know I have complained a lot about being a new mom, but I do love being a new mom This is my favorite thing ever. I love it so much I never expect as a career-driven woman after the baby I'll be like wow Every day I just want to spend time with my baby and actually the fact of leaving my baby very frequently Have something to do with me just want to spend time with my baby Prioritized with my baby everything is around him and I want to because it's the best feeling ever Smile the kisses playing with him and even him crying. I find it's really cute as well. I never expect I will enjoy being a mom so much and the feeling of Womb spending time with your son regardless your other duties cannot be described And you can just watching the time passing by and two hours is gone while playing with the baby on the swing Just playing the playground and time flew by very quickly, but that's the best time ever I feel myself get lost with those two hours or one hour playing with my baby So that's why I started to embrace my new identity now my son is 11 months old I finally start to come out as a new Nancy start to embrace my new identity Who is a mom and also running a business full-time? Which is my coaching business called PM accelerator. I start to learn how to do work like integration I personally believe that work like balance doesn't exist for me as a new mom If you know how to manage work like balance, please comment on the chat. I love to learn from you guys Will you also depressed as a new mom? Please comment on the chat. I do want to hear from you guys What if I need advice? Not feel depressed come on the chat as well After I prioritize my baby the only time I can focus on working and creating new content and teaching other people It's in the evening, which is from 9 to midnight That's when I'm super productive I was able to do a lot of things which also one reasons lots of the YouTube videos we filmed was filmed in the night as well In the middle of the day, I also got some pleasant surprise We're trying to respond to some questions from students occasionally my son will come into my office Which I really like by the way. I just enjoy is extremely cute He knows how to distract you. He knows how to make you love him so much So that's why I don't believe in work like balance, but I believe in work life integration It's more about how would you integrate your new self? With your baby schedule and your own work-from-home schedule as well. I'm also quite ashamed to be frank. I didn't work out enough Did you work out enough when your new mom? Having a full-time job and baby on this I felt I didn't work out enough. This is very shame of that I'm losing my six pack or I never had this pack in general Go back to my self By graduating on going back to work out and and even the first time I start working out on lately and my shoulder My old injury start hurts again So life is very complicated to be frank as a new mom, but this is the best job you can ever given to me That's why I want all the amazing moms and out there to be proud of yourself You're not alone. You have accomplished so much while having babies Maybe one or two multiple babies having a job and together and have a husband a whole family to entertain to Build a life together. You're not alone. We're in this together You're doing me. I know I'm not a super mom. I also know I have very little parental advice here I just wish all of the moms and out there continue to push and celebrate how much you have accomplished so far There is so much new opportunities and out there among all of you guys to fill in love with yourself your baby Your new self and your family as well This is Dr. Nancy if you like any of the upcoming content free training about product management clear work-life balance as new moms feel free to like this video subscribe to channel and turn on the bell button so That you'll be notified every time I post a new video every Wednesday. This is Dr. Nancy. I'm gonna see you soon