 So the irony of this vlog is that I actually had to set up to record it when in actual fact I really didn't feel like recording a vlog but I mean I put it on myself when I started this journey to record a vlog once every week but the week before this one has been a weird one. It was weird balance of you know good positive energy plus feeling stuck as well so there are other things that I'm doing that I'm happy with other projects that I'm happy to start and get into and then they're the ones which I really want to do but I feel stuck because I've not been able to do so much of it since the lockdown and it's difficult because those are passion projects and passion fuels a lot of the things that I do and so recording this video or recording my youtube videos technically felt like the only thing I'm doing as a filmmaker and it's been difficult for me to accept that that is all I have going for me at the moment in terms of filming and that are things that I want to do you know has to do with other people and it's been difficult getting people to see the vision and buy into the things that you want to do and put those kind of content out as well so that's where I feel stuck and not really feeling well in that sense so yeah I mean I know this channel is about self-development and you know sharing my experiences and I think that this video was necessary because it's not always going to be nice you know it's not always going to be three ways you can beat this you know be inspired and even put this thing on silent yeah three ways you can be inspired and all these you know positive messages that are swamped or you keep seeing on most of these channels that do self-development and inspire people to do more with creating and everything but yeah I mean this week wasn't those one of those weeks and it's not like I didn't even have anything to talk about or any content to create I just didn't feel like it this week and I usually record my vlogs on Tuesdays but at this point of recording now it's a Wednesday and I usually plan my vlogs, script them, know what to do with them but this is literally just me sitting here and talking to the camera and that's why I said the irony of the whole thing is that I actually set up to record this just let you know that well if you're in some kind of funk if you're feeling stuck it's not abnormal it really isn't abnormal and it does happen sometimes so yeah I mean the last time I remember doing this was I think episode three of my vlog where I hadn't planned so that was you know just the goofball you know spewing of whatever I felt like so I hadn't planned that one so I just spoke out whatever was happening with me but yeah I mean there is more that I wanted to create and hopefully I find the right space and frame of mind and right people to work with and create some more because you do need that passion to fuel other things that you do it's okay when you have projects that are paying and you're working and maybe you're making a living that's fine but I think for the most part for most creatives the things that we are most passionate about that we want to do that we are able to do other things that satisfy the soul and keeps us going so the money is nice and all but when you're unable to bring some of the things that you envision to life and time is fast passing then you feel a bit anxious and you look on social media and it gets worse because other people seem to be doing you know some passion projects or seem to be working and pushing things out and you just feel like oh I mean it could have been me doing that but yeah so I didn't feel like this one that's all I want to share that it's not all rosy it's not superhuman or it's not even normal to be all positive in the first place I'm not one to usually allow these emotions to take over but this is one of those moments I just thought I'd share with you but I will get back to normal this is not just the week I mean this is just not the week yeah so when I do and I do um oh I am able to get some of these things that I want to do out I'll definitely share them with you and share my experiences making them and like I said there are the creative things that I'm doing which I will share with you as well so yeah I'll leave it here for now not to talk too much it's okay not to be okay that's all I'm saying I'll catch you in the next episode peace