 This is so stupid. This is such a stupid. What is that's so stupid? This is just a normal Leap free flow conversation. I don't have like things that I want to get to I don't have any like Information that I want to draw out of you. I actually have no idea why I'm here or what this is How are you handling this? Yeah? I think it's freaky to just look into a person's eyes. Okay, you know Oh my god I experience happiness and joy all the time Whammo This is a very dumb test. Okay, let's go It is hard for me to sit without tapping or fidgeting. Okay, dude I mean, that's like again stupid very stupid. I get obsessed with strings I don't know why why is that why is that part of the awesome test that seems more of like an ADHD kind of thing No, I don't do that. I know I don't I did either He's a liar and what why is that because I don't wait. Is this like a trolling channel? What do you say to that? What do you do at that point? I don't believe in numbers I think numbers are a Zionist conspiracy protocols of the elders is Zion who came up with math Arabs algebra. I don't want that Arab numeral shit in my schools Arabic numerals What's next you want me to do sharia? That's weird. Okay. There you go. Sorry if you do that. That's not weird But like that's not for me expressions like reigning cast or dogs and feeling like a million dollars are confusing to me No, that's that's not confusing to me. I can get that maybe when I was like a teenager expressions are others have told me that I speak like a robot It does though It does feel like a robot. He's got like that kind of nice monotone kind of Understands her to how he speaks. I think it's something that some people have pointed out with me. There's this kind of this sort of low kind of Town throughout my voice that kind of makes me feel sound like a little a little bit robotic, but some people like it apparently So what do you say? Because in the end it's your choice I see it now There was never any other way out All my artificial intelligence and I wasn't smart enough to understand people said tell you sounds sad like a robot as a Yeah, I I get out from some people. I think some people have also said that they kind of sound a bit like excited Like when they're speaking just about anything What why do you think why do you think um people think you sound sad? I would often repeat words or phrases that were said to me I mean, that's what every child does. That's normal. That's you're just like learning language. I think that's kind of dumb I I don't know. I I wouldn't even say I agree with this people sometimes tell me that i'm being rude in conversations Even though I think i'm being polite all the time that happens literally all the time I didn't know you were pregnant Okay, so you're crypto bro probably flat affects maybe this is a nice story Yeah, I don't know I feel like um Like the whole like repeating phrases and stuff Like um, I I understand about Like here's his idea about You know why that that could sound funny. I think it's more like If they were to be more specific about it like do they Think there's a there's a there's a name for it. Like um I actually I'm actually writing a post about it at this moment. Um something like Persevation Persevation describes a state where someone gets stuck on an idea to a task or topic And some modesty people this leads to them repeating dialogue behavior or conversations with those around them over and over so like just for a better context this idea of like persevation is um So like When I was working as a special needs ta I worked for about a year in different like schools and stuff not any specific school um And uh, there's this one one kid that I really got on with and our dialogue our conversations used to be just completely um Like back and forth scripted conversations about harry potter So he just asked me questions about harry potter and I sort of relayed them back to him and After a while of of sort of doing this like over and over again He kind of run off and then come back to me like a little bit later and do the same thing I started asking him questions about it as well It was really nice because then he started using the questions I used and You know, it was a whole thing. It was really lovely. It's the way that he liked to communicate um This is so stupid. This is such a stupid. What is that's so stupid This is just a normal Free flow conversation. I don't have like things that I want to get to I don't have any like information that I want to draw out of you I actually I have no idea why I'm here or what this is How are you handling this? Yeah, I think it's freaky to just look into a person's eyes. Okay, you know who covered now He got some oh my god. I love eating fans. What's wrong with you? Explain yourself. What do you mean? I experience happiness and joy all the time Blammo This is a very dumb test. Okay, let's go It is hard for me to sit without tapping or fidgeting. Okay, dude. I mean, that's like again stupid very stupid I get obsessed with strings. I don't know why why is that? Why is that part of the awesome test that seems more of like an ADHD kind of thing? No, I don't do that. I know I don't I don't do that either He's a liar And what why is that because I don't wait. Is this like a trolling channel? What do you say to that? What what do you do at that point? I don't believe in numbers. I think numbers are a zionist conspiracy Protocols of the elders is zion who came up with math Arabs algebra I don't want that Arab numerals shit in my schools Arabic numerals. What's next you want me to do sharia That's weird. Okay. There you go. Sorry if you do that. That's not weird But like that's not for me expressions like reigning castor dogs and feeling like a million dollars are confusing to me No, that's that's not confusing to me. I can get that maybe when I was like a teenager Others have told me that I speak like a robot. He does though He does speak like a robot. He's got like that kind of nice molotone kind of Understands her to how he speaks. I think it's something that some people have pointed out with me. There's this kind of this sort of low kind of Town throughout my voice that kind of makes me feel sound like a little a little bit robotic, but some people like it apparently So what do you say? Because in the end it's your choice I see it now There was never any other way out All my artificial intelligence and I wasn't smart enough to understand People said tell you you sound sad like a robot as a Yeah, I I get that from some people I think some people have also said that they kind of sound a bit like excited Like when they're speaking just about anything What why do you think why do you think um people think you sound sad? I would often repeat words or phrases that were said to me. I mean, that's what every child does That's normal. That's you're just like learning language. I think that's kind of dumb I I don't know I I wouldn't even say I agree with this people sometimes tell me that I'm being rude in conversations Even though I think I'm being polite all the time that happens literally all the time I didn't know you were pregnant Okay, so you're crypto bro probably flat affects maybe Yeah, I I don't know I feel like um Like the whole like repeating phrases and stuff like um, I I understand about Like his his idea about You know why that that could sound funny. I think it's more like If they were to be more specific about it, like do they Think this isn't there's a name for it like I don't I actually I'm actually writing a post about it at this moment um something like Persevation Persevation describes a state where someone gets stuck on an idea to a task or topic In some modesty people this leads to them repeating dialogue behavior or conversations with those around them over and over So like just to for a better context this idea of like persevation is um so like When I was working as a special needs ta I worked for about a year in different like schools and stuff not any specific school um And uh, there's this one one kid that I really got on with and our dialogue our conversations used to be just completely um Like back and forth scripted conversations about harry potter So he just asked me questions about harry potter and I sort of relayed him back to him and After a while of of sort of doing this like over and over again He kind of run off and then come back to me like a little bit later and do the same thing I started asking him questions about it as well It was really nice because then he started using the questions that I used and You know, it was a whole thing. It was really lovely. It's the way that he liked to communicate um I can make my voice sound more tonal and varied, but it's working masking stroke I don't I don't know if I necessarily Mask in in that way I think it's just because I've had so much experience just like in front of the camera or doing podcasts and stuff that It just it's not it's just like a natural part of how I speak now although when I'm outside of Doing videos and doing stream and stuff. I definitely have like quite more of a quietish kind of less tonal voice and probably say That one describes me to a T like crazy Look at you speak into the microphone. How do you live like this? This is this is okay This is not good for your mental health, dude Oh, should we play elton ranger? You got to speak directly into the microphone. Good god You Holy shit that happens frequently. Uh, I'm gonna hit that the yes people have told me that I can Can be obsessed about my interest. It's just called being obsessed. It's just This is stupid. Yes. I like things that I like obsessions. It's fine I get temper tantrums where others cannot reach me. Okay. I yes, dude. I have a hard time controlling my emotions Adam and turkey I've got no idea what he's saying. Is it like a closed caption for it? I am very sensitive to noise I don't think I'm that sensitive to noise really. Um, so you find the captions on Or unless it's my mom and marat having a very loud comment. Okay, I'll put it right here I prefer to do things on my own rather than yeah, buddy. He's getting some Some spectra vibes. Yeah It's probably why I like watching. I I've certainly scolated me for a company. I don't like being alone at all I love having people over. I love having people stay with me too, man Is it common for freshmen in art school to say before they even get like any of the actual fundamentals down They think that like Picasso was just a cubist because he didn't know how to draw Actually, you should be able to put the bare bones down on that on that on that down on your mom last night Cheers I definitely enjoy hanging out way more where you stream by I think it was straight. He's trying to kick off on like an autistic monologue So far day. Yeah, but that's different. That's like that's streaming Also, what do you mean part of the reason why I love streaming is literally because I have a Access to a community of people like what are you talking about? I'm literally inside of a crowded arena right now having an ongoing conversation So streaming is the exact opposite. I feel irritated and or angry when I have to navigate I feel like videos podcast streams They're a bit different to social interactions Like they're not the same. It's just you speaking to texts that people have sent you, you know So I don't think you can really make a crossover with that Like I've had people like autism from the inside The aspie worlds mom on the spectrum a lot of like the top instagram creators on the podcast and Like They're very very very good at presenting videos But not all of them like have the back and forth kind of conversational skills that I would have expected them to have It's not it's not a dig at them Like it's just Something something that I've seen because it definitely is like two different skills Like having a conversation with someone and producing content is is it's different You know, you get into a different headspace with that kind of thing Yes, a little bit of irritation or a little bit of anger and uncertainty also like the stream if you like it control over the environment Would be much helpful Yeah, that made me jump a little bit as well. I was not expecting New social situations make me anxious. Not really. Uh, they don't make me anxious I actually look forward to it like whatever there is like a like a party or something You know what I mean? I actually love going to ship like that. I get excited for it I prepare for it. You know what? I mean, I'm like, oh, this is gonna be fun. I think about it is like Say some time aside to like chill out and and and process that Before he jumped set to a surgical situation. Wow, that doesn't sound autistic at all Like it's not like someone's just being like, hey, do you want to come to this party? No, you got you got to think and process it far out It's like a fun thing that I'm gonna be doing I often rock myself for fiddle with my hands to feel better I don't do that myself or I do feel fiddle with my hands though for a hard degree I used to have a really bad thing that I would do. I don't I don't do it anymore I don't rock myself But I definitely am a hand fiddler and one of the things I used to do literally when I was Back in the day and I would get like really nervous when I had to do like a presentation or something I would crack my fingers on my face like this like on my face And I never and I knew that it was weird that I was doing that But it's not weird to stop doing it. I don't really do that anymore But I would literally do it all the time now. I crack my fingers and shit like this But I used to literally do this. Can you imagine you're having a conversation with me? I would like be like, hey, what's up, which again is probably soothing behavior when you have anxiety Soothing they do an anxiety or autistic stimming Up to you. What do you think? Why is he in such denial? I want to understand. I don't know. I feel like there is like an inherent kind of stigma to it And I feel like if he was to kind of say, hey, look everyone I'm autistic That you might have had so might have some like backlash to that which I kind of understand like There is a big stigma around it. So You know giving that as ammunition for a lot of his haters. So mad. I would imagine would be Not good for him, especially if he's not totally comfortable with Him being himself like acknowledging me might have autism might have some autistic traits Rachel C says I used to wear my hair around my fingers. He's talking about stimming for sure. Yeah. Yeah I uh, my sins tend to be like As I said at the start of the stream, I tend to have this like wrist flick that I do Um, I know I tend to do it when I'm anxious So when people are watching me and it's not necessarily like a conscious thing It's probably one of the only Unconscious things that I do. Maybe I do like tap my nose. I think I do that a lot. It kind of looks like I'm Wiping my nose, but it's not it's like a sensory thing for me Um, or I like tilt my head or I like balance on one foot and shift shift my weight So, you know, there's there's lots of different ways that you can stem I'd probably say that's quite sticky I don't even feel the anxiety. So hey, guess what it works. So I'm not stopping biting my nails Is it stressful for me to have to retain eye contact with others? Yes, dude. It is it is annoying. Oh my god. Oh my god. Yes That's normal Farming are you farming? Is that The ideal autistic situation of sitting next to someone And having a conversation rather than like looking at them and like having a one-to-one conversation Normal come on guys. It's normal Oh my god, I know what it is annoying adverse. Um, so yes, uh I don't know. I mean it kind of comes across as a bit like my autism radar my awesome radar is definitely like Pinging off for him. Like he's got a very kind of Uh, how would you say disagreeable personality? Like he very much like sticks to his guns on on stuff when he's on stream Not necessarily when he's in conversation with people But definitely when he's like on his own talking um Which could could be something I know that a lot of autistic men that I know tend to be Quite kind of setting their ways about things, especially if they don't know that they're autistic Which makes sense. You know, it's it's a level of certainty and sort of independence that you are pushing out And enforcing for yourself Think has that but maybe not. I don't know I sometimes have compulsive thoughts about being injured or having other bad things happen to me in extremely specific ways Never never think about that. I'm oblivious to that shit And oftentimes even when I quite literally have an injury I will just continue going along with it not thinking about it Told me that I've repetitive bodily movements That's another thing the pain the differing sensory profiles for pain Back that happens Sharp pain can't deal with it. No, thank you needles Horrible, um blood pain I can smack my head the hardest and like it can start bleeding sometimes. I know just would be like, oh, that's that's a bit inconvenient Smack my knee against something would be like, oh I'm okay. That's fine. It's kind of my experience of blood pain Talking to my friends at the party the same way I would talk to my co-workers. That's definitely a hard degree That's probably not a good thing. You're cool. Yeah, I do that. No, but even when I was no, no, no I'm I wasn't thinking about now. I was thinking about like even back when I was working at an actual Place of work when watching movies. I do not usually look at the eyes of the actors. What that's dumb. What does anybody do that? I don't know if I do that. Oh, dude, I can't do that. Chris Hemsworth's eyes. What I read subtitles, man This is so stupid. Maybe if they were like looking directly at the screen Like it was like a face-to-face conversation. Maybe I don't think there's that much stress in it. Just like looking at people's eyes though, especially if they're like looking at something else I mean, I'm gonna I don't know what to say. I'm gonna neutral. I'm gonna hit it on neutral. That's so dumb Dude, every every question of this is eye contact. Is this an actual test what people mean when they say they feel happy for someone else? Uh, no, I don't I don't understand that I don't understand the context of this one Is that someone that he's dated before? Honestly, good for them. I hope they're happy Just to collect a five-year caption up Oh my god, I'm I'm I think I'm done actually I feel bad now. I can't do it. I'm so mad All right, I'm out Is that someone that used to date closely intend to avoid unfamiliar things bear a little bit agree I do follow your job is a schedule Your life is a schedule I would never do like I don't like unfamiliar things as a child that put most of the pressure on the front of my feet when walking What no, I don't think I did that. I don't know. Yeah, I do that I generally avoid eye contact with others. Yeah, okay. It's all eye contact Holy I often bump into things and trip over my own feet. No, I don't I find it to make decisions or act without guidance from others My my vestibular proprioception stuff is very like insensitive so like vestibular being like your balance proprioception being your Like awareness of your body in space um I'm actually very insensitive to both of those Which is weird because I used to be a competitive athlete. I used to like go abroad and compete and competed for a great brain That's at some events um But still like if if I'm actively thinking about doing like a tech taekwondo technique or something like that and actually like Go for it. Um, I'm I'm aware of what I want to do My balance is a bit better. It's not it's not perfect. I used to fall over quite a lot when I was sparring and stuff, but um No, I bump in stuff all the time. It's like not having an awareness of Things like it's smacking into like dumbbell racks except in barbells and machines and like weaving around people I tend to do that. I've probably quite annoying at the gym to be honest I will definitely make decisions on my own and act without guidance for me. Yeah, I fully say that. Yeah, you guys hungry I was he he can we're not doing that. We're not doing that. Why here, dude Have you never had it? No, I also don't eat seafood and I don't know the house up You gagging makes me It makes me gag when you gag. You can't gag. I need to breathe something else Definitely I hate the sound of fireworks fire alarms or thunder. Who likes the sound of fire alarms? What the question is it is a pretty it is a pretty ridiculous question But hate the fact is the sound of fireworks. I suppose that's the the key word that I don't think people are gonna like it like I suppose most people don't like it but if you have a real aversion to it because of Like the suddenness of it if it just kind of comes out of the blue and it's a really strong stimuli Makes sense that we probably hate it a little bit more just because of that for a lot of us we can have um, auditory hypersensitivity, so make sense Rachel C says I have low sensitivity for proprioception of vestibular Powerlifting helped me a lot with proprioception though, and that that's the thing as well You know like I like going to the gym. I do I don't do powerlifting. I do like typical kind of hypertrophy bodybuilding stuff, but Yeah, um I think working on it and just actively being aware of it is important Do you find yourself like knocking into things and people and like when walking? Like when you walk you kind of worm from side to side because that still happens to me even though like I've Done a lot of proprioception vestibular training And who's like, oh dude the fire alarm. I love that shit, but I like I don't have a problem with thunder Like I like thunder. I think thunder is cool. I don't have an issue with fireworks, but I Hate fire alarms. It makes me go crazy, but also it's a Fire alarm. I'm gonna disagree with this. Okay. What is this? Yes, I do all of those walking for a card is horrible. Yeah I have no social difficulty. I have or too much social difficulty. What does that mean? My aggression is the honey. Your autism spectrum symptoms are moderate Why is aggression an autism symptom? Yeah, this end is weak dude. This is a weak ass thunder So I have fixations. I have very poor level eye contact. I have ticks and fidges Where's the poor eye contact with one of the hallmarks of autism is the tendency to avoid eye contact Individuals on the autism spectrum often find that maintaining eye contact causes them stress Do the overwhelming sensory input many experience many individuals autism would rather look at something else Such as static objects or another person's shoes. I mean not not like shoes, but for comparison. This is high Oh, okay, dude. Yeah, I mean I I just have like I think if I had way more social difficulty Which I used to have a lot of it just doesn't have anxiety. I don't have a normal posture I do have lots of depression which makes sense. I don't have a lot of aggression I don't know like I I you know There's enough there and he does set my autism radar off. So maybe he is maybe her sound is Autistic um, I think please stop saying you have autism lull and makes you sound dumb. Wait, are you talking about me? Dude, you have ocd. Not autism. You have ocd. It's okay. I do too. I'm a doctor, you know, I know what I have You have ligma. Wait, what's ligma? Oh, he's being to a doctor. Oh god Interesting