 She destroyed my life. I'll repay it. Tenfold. The most brutal cheating revenge story that has it all. It's an atomic meltdown of pure justice. A Sigma male's cheating wife kept secrets of brutal proportions. Add in broken bones, destructive DNA results, unthinkable acts, a psych ward, and more. A loyal man, betrayed in the most depraved way, takes on the highest duty possible. When she cheated around, she found out. And he made sure to thermonuke her life into radiating pieces. But she never expected he'd go the lengths he took. Are you ready for the fallout? Because the ending, is what no one could imagine. Before we start, be sure to text the like button, we need to talk. But when you meet up, just keep the conversation casual. Warning. The following story will be upsetting to cheaters. There isn't a soul in the world with whom I can talk about this. I don't know if I need advice or a pep talk. I use my main account for memes and other nonsense. But I made this throwaway account because I'm going mad trying to cope. Life has pushed me to the edge, and I'm struggling to find my integrity. Yet, I question what the righteous things to do, say and think actually are. I guess to begin, I need to explain that I'm typing this in a hospital room. Yesterday, at about 7.30 am, my wife and I were involved in a wreck. I came out with only a few cuts and bruises. Mia, my wife, suffered a crushed shoulder, broken collarbone, three broken ribs, and a collapsed lung. They expect her to fully recover, but for now, they have her heavily sedated. Having to type this out on a phone is a daunting task. But at the moment, I have the time to push through, even if I'm not sure I have the will to do it. I wouldn't be posting in this sub if things were perfect with our marriage, obviously. I just could never imagine my wife being unfaithful in any way. My heart is broken. I feel incomplete, like part of me is missing. And saddest of all, that part is sitting a mere three feet away from me. I had felt us growing apart over the last three months, but I couldn't come up with a reason why. We are both 34. Mia and I have known each other since we were children. We began dating in high school and continued all the way through college. She is the only woman I have ever been intimate with. Up until recently, she could say the same. We married a year after college and had our first child, Michael, a year later. Three years after my son was born, Carrie, our daughter, started a life of me trying to spoil her rotten. I love my kids more than life itself. If not for them, I'm not sure I would be here right now. They were not involved in the wreck. Thank God. They were spending the night at my parents. We were due to fly down to Florida for a cruise. Yesterday afternoon. Obviously, that is all canceled. But my wife decided to go out with her best friend even though I urged her to stay home and not drive around in the snow. She swore she and her best friend, Rebecca, were just going to have a few drinks since they wouldn't see each other for a week. I went to bed and slept like a baby until about 5 a.m. I got up and looked out the window to see my wife's car was not out front, but we'd gotten several more inches of snow. I assumed Mia and Becca got a little too drunk and crashed at her place. I threw some clothes on and got into my SUV. Before I left, I texted Mia to tell her not to drive because the snow was too deep and I was coming to get her. The message remained unread. I cannot guess how many times I have wondered what would have happened if she'd read that text. I'd still be living a lie. I'd still have a gut feeling. But I wouldn't be in the utter misery I now find myself in. I got to Becca's and pulled up in front of her condo. I looked at the message again and it still had not been read. I had actually hoped Mia would read it and be ready when I arrived. But I resigned myself to the fact I'd have to go in and wake her. The front door was unlocked, so I walked in and looked to the TV room to my right. There was nobody passed out on the sofa. Rebecca's bedroom was downstairs, and I didn't want to wake her. So, I took the stairs up to her guest room and opened the door. Right then and there, my life ended. I remember walking into the room and seeing two heads peeking out from the covers. I remember leaning down to pull the comforter toward me. I even remember seeing my wife, laying her head on some guy's shirtless chest. The next thing I remember was Becca, Mia, and some half-dressed guy I'd never seen, trying to pull me off him. I'd probably be in jail right now if they hadn't. But I honestly don't remember a damn thing. It all went black. So, right or wrong, I don't really feel too bad about that. My feelings about my wife, on the other hand, fluctuate from minute to minute these days. When I came to my senses, the half-dressed guy said he'd take his buddy to the hospital. Mia cried her eyes out while Rebecca and I argued. I told her and my wife I was leaving, and she had five minutes to be in my car or not to bother coming home. She was there in three. Driving in snow while angry, even with four-wheel drive, is really not a good idea. But it was another vehicle that veered into our lane and forced us through a guardrail. That's what caused Mia's injuries. The car rolled, but, thank god for airbags, we survived. The kids don't even know we had a wreck. I haven't called anyone. I probably should have. But this wasn't just a wreck. My life has been wrecked and I'm trying to gauge the damage, before I start bringing others into this warp situation. I'm numb, and yet I hurt like hell, and not from the wreck. I feel like I don't even know the person lying in that hospital bed. I want to ask her so many damn questions. But I really don't want to know any of the answers. She obviously no longer loves me. No one with a soul could cheat on someone they love. So, I have to ask if she ever loved me. And now that she is cheated, would I ever want her to love me again if that were possible? I don't know the specifics of when she first cheated. But in my book, the instant she did, our marriage ended. The vows were broken. She ended our marriage, and we are no longer man and wife. I don't need a divorce attorney to nullify my marriage, she's already done that. Therefore I am no longer under obligation to the vows I gave. A huge part of me wants to just walk out of this room. I want to call her parents, tell them what she did and what happened, and then let them know she is their problem again after all these years. We said for better or for worse than I meant it. But we are no longer married. Part of, me wants to leave her a note and tell her too bad worse happened to come after she ended our relationship. The only thing that is keeping me in this damn room is my children. I want to see them so badly right now. But I have some scratches on my face and neck. They'd know something happened if they saw me. As much as I feel my wife has defiled herself and our family, my kids need her. I thought I had a life partner. And as horrible as she ended up being, my children need a mom in their life. There are going to be talks I am not qualified to have, and wouldn't know where to begin. There are going to be injuries that need kisses instead of being told to walk it off. I'm a damn good father, but I can't be a mother too. Please, someone, help me. How can I sit here and look over someone who has stabbed me in the back so cruelly? Should I call her parents to come? What do I tell them? I really don't want to be here, especially with her parents. If I don't tell them what she did, they are going to know I'm pissed off. What in God's name do I tell my children? Yeah, I can tell them we were in a wreck, but I'm not the kind that can fake emotion. Obviously, my wife does it with ease. But when I loathe someone, it shows in my face. They will know I am angry at their mother. How the hell did my life come to this? I already know I need to see a lawyer. I've figured that much out. But how do I handle this? Firstly, take a moment to breathe. It's important to call her parents and ask them to take care of her. You're not in a mental or physical state to assist her, even if you wish to. Also, inform them about her actions. There's no need to cover up for your wife. She has lied enough, and these deceptions need to end immediately. At this moment, you need someone you can confide in and express your emotions to, so find a trusted friend or family member and talk to them. It's crucial not to make any life-altering decisions right now while your emotions are so raw. What you need currently is distance from your wife and time to process and comprehend her actions. This wasn't an isolated incident or a spontaneous mistake. It was a long planned affair, likely with her long-term partner, and perhaps not even her first affair. If she has stayed at Becca's place before, it's time to consider why she might have done so. It's important to stay away from alcohol and drugs. They won't assist you in this situation. Your marriage is over, and the woman you thought she was never existed. It was merely an illusion you held of her. Now, you've seen her true character and what she's capable of, and sooner or later, you'll have to ask yourself if this is the kind of woman you would want as your wife. In the end, she never wanted to come clean. She never intended to end this, and she continually made decisions that favored her affairs over your relationship. Although she had the support of her best friend, in the end, this all occurred because she wanted it to happen. I wish you good luck and stay strong. Lastly, please get tested for STDs. It's better to be safe than sorry. I managed to get a complete STD panel done, and everything came back clean. Thank god. It's sometimes convenient to know a few people in the medical field. Surprisingly, I haven't spoken a word to Mia, even when I sat alone with her in that room. She would attempt to speak to me, her speech garbled and slurred. All I could do was stare at her with an expression of loathing and wait for her to pass out again. As for specifics about the guy she was with, how many times it happened, and for how long, I'm still in the dark. Mia's phone was destroyed in the wreck. I think she has access to her mother's phone now, as I started receiving a barrage of texts. She can let Becca know why she hadn't responded, and plan her next trist for all I care. And don't worry, I haven't been drinking. So there's no fear of me getting drunk and doing something reckless. However, after enduring this week, I can understand why people resort to narcotics and excessive drinking. There are moments when I wish I could put life on pause or forget about it for 24 hours. But the harsh reality is that my problems would still be there the next day. After my initial post that day, I decided to stay one more night in that hospital room. With Mia sedated and the lights out, I laid back in the recliner looking at the ceiling, listening to the medical machines. I lay there wondering how the hell my life had reached that point. Part of me felt like I was giving her undeserved mercy just by being in the same room, yet part of me loved her. I didn't want to feel that love. I actually felt weak for having any positive feelings for her. Over and over in my mind, I kept realizing there was no fixing things back to the way they were. It was as if some natural disaster had taken the life we built, and destroyed it. I cried. I cried so damn hard. I realized a huge part of my life was over, that was a moment of huge significance in my life. When the nurse came into the room to take blood the next morning, I excused myself. When Mia woke, she saw me heading out the door and called to me, but I acted like I didn't hear her. I went and got some breakfast. I haven't had much of an appetite since finding out. I tried to kill some time eating and scanning through my phone. There was a text from Becca asking where Mia was that I left unread. I decided at 7 AM it was late enough to knock on her parents door. Her dad was always an early riser. I planned to squeeze out for a bit to go talk to him first, and if he thought his wife needed to hear it he could wake her. I saw smoke coming from the wood stove and his workshop out back, so I knocked on the door before entering. He saw the scratches on my neck and bruise on my cheek. I explained there had been an accident. Mia had gotten the worst of it, but we needed to talk. I think he assumed I meant about the accident, so he woke my mother-in-law to hear what I had to say. We sat in the kitchen as I explained how going around a curve, a car in the oncoming lane veered into our lane. Having the heavier vehicle and all-wheel drive, I managed to keep us on the road, until we hit the guard rail. The passenger side door caught one of the vertical I beams mounted in concrete. Even with side airbags, Mia hit hard. She sustained lots of injuries, but I told them she was stable, and they expected a full recovery. They both cried knowing their daughter had suffered, but would still be around for them to love. As soon as they insinuated, they would be around to help me in any way they needed to assist me in looking after Mia. That was when I stopped them. And explained the wreck wasn't what I'd come to tell them. They looked confused as I explained waking up that morning and sending a text to head off in the snow, to make sure my wife was okay. I told them about walking in on their daughter and some guy I'd never seen, and unconsciously flipped him over and over. They were both shocked. Then I told them what room she was in at the hospital. Explained I always wanted them to be part of the kids' lives, so I hope they could remain friendly with me. I told them my dad was looking after them at the moment. But I was divorcing their daughter as she had broken our vows, and was no longer my wife. I was leaving their place and driving to my dads to tell the kids about the wreck. I was also going to tell them we were splitting up and wouldn't be together anymore. I wasn't going to tell them their mother is a cheater. I told my former in-laws that while I hated things had to end the way they did, at least I could say I wasn't the one who destroyed our marriage and my life. They tried to tell me I shouldn't be so hasty, she made a mistake, and the usual lame excuses. I just smiled and told them I loved having them as in-laws over the years and walked out. When I got to my dads, I of course, had so much I needed to get off my chest. I entered through the kitchen where I found my dad having a cup of coffee. The only thing he knew, was that I was supposed to be on a big boat in the Caribbean. He stood and asked what I was doing there. I just grabbed him, hugged him, and cried like a child. It was the kind of thing where he really wanted to know what was going on, but since he needed to let me cry it out before prying. He led me to the den and sat me on the couch to go get my mom. We both urged her to have a cup of coffee first. But she knew if I was there alone that early, I had something bad to tell them. I first explained about Mia cheating, me catching her, and leaving Becca's. Then I explained about the wreck, that it was pretty bad. I told them about Mia's injuries and explained I'd let her parents know only an hour before, so they could go see her. Both of my parents were stunned. My mom finally asked me now what I'm going to do. They both cried when I told them my only remaining option was to divorce Mia and be the best father I could for my children. As our conversation was winding down, I heard my daughter carry squeal and come running down the stairs toward me. That woke up my son, who was also downstairs within a few minutes. I hadn't seen them in so long. I just spent time hugging them, happy to see them. They took a while to notice my scratches. I told them about the wreck and that their mommy was in the hospital but going to be fine. I told them Mia's parents would eventually pick them up to take them to see their mom and left it at that. I spent a day playing, talking to, holding, napping with, and laughing with my children, and those two made me want to live again. Until that point, if I'm honest, I was like 50-50 about wanting to go on. But they are worth living for, protecting and cherishing. My wife's phone was destroyed in the wreck, so nobody had gotten a response for days. Early that night, I started getting texts from my mother-in-law's phone and knew they had to be from Mia. I ignored them. They continued sporadically off and on through the night, so I turned off notifications. The next day, I spoke with three law offices about filing for divorce. I can't say I want or even need a legal divorce. But that will divide assets and determine custody of our children. What she does with whom is no longer of any concern of mine. I've met with two, and I like the latter one quite a bit. I'll meet with the third-rated lawyer to see if he wows me. If not, I'm going with the second firm's top divorce attorney. Either way, I will have removed three top legal sources from her list of candidates. And that's a win in my book. Custody is my primary focus. I'm not going for full custody, and I wouldn't want it if I could get it. They need their mother in their lives. But because she did what she did, she can never again be a part of my life. A go-between can drop the kids off on time whenever they need to be where they need to be. Not a reason in this world for me to ever say another word to her. I obviously never knew her, so why would I continue to interact with a stranger? I go back to work next week from what would have been our cruise. I didn't tell a soul at work we didn't go or anything about the wreck. And of course, they will be seeing me driving the rental car and question if I got a new car. I'm not sure if I need to explain things to HR. But I don't want my personal business to be aired out for all to see. I feel humiliated as it is, without news leaking out. Divorce is a necessity sometimes, but it always represents a failure. But I'm done being an anchor for a ship that is already sunk. And for those who insisted rightly to get checked for STDs, I've had a full screening. It came back clean on everything, thank god. Even that was enough to make me feel like some trench coat pervert when I did nothing wrong. I assume by this time Mia has left the hospital. Her parents did not even attempt to bring her to the house. They couldn't have contacted me anyway due to Mia's constant texts I wasn't reading. As soon as I can get divorce papers filed, and her served, I can be done with the biggest mistake of my life. Her actions invalidated all of that time. If I had to do it over again, I would not do it again. I would choose a life with someone else, anyone else who would actually be faithful and loyal. Her greatest asset is what she intentionally threw away. The ability to be trusted. From having someone to call your own, to being all alone. That's what I'll miss. But I know all of that was a lie, and I meant nothing to her. People will swoon over a beautiful lie and repel an ugly truth. I'm not one of those people. // A lot of people one of the dirty details of whom I wife strayed with, why, and how long it had been going on. I'm sorry I don't have that information to share. But I really don't want to know. There is no excuse to cheat. Beyond that, when you have made a life bond you have sworn to uphold and make the decision for the other person to ruin it, you are vile. I wished to God I'd never met her and had taken a chance on someone, anyone else. She had no right to give me a life and then take it all from me against my will. The man I was before her betrayal will never exist again, the woman she was never existed, and the life I had as a facade and ruins nobody wants to live in. The pain you're experiencing right now is profound, but it's crucial that you stay strong for both yourself and your kids. If you need it, take some time for yourself. However, ensure you inform her parents about everything as soon as possible. This will enable them to step in, help her with her injuries, and provide you with the time you need to focus on yourself. When you're ready, consult a lawyer to secure your legal position and formally conclude what remains of your marriage. The next step is to initiate therapy for yourself and your kids. This will aid in managing the upcoming separation and divorce, helping everyone cope better. Start securing your finances too, and don't hesitate to reach out to your friends and family. Their support will prove invaluable during this trying time. Remember, time heals all wounds, my friend. Stay strong. This really was the best advice. My first therapy appointment is scheduled for Thursday. During this appointment, I plan to seek guidance on arranging therapy for the kids. I've consulted with two lawyers and I'm inclined towards the second one. However, I still plan to meet with a third for perspective. I'm fortunate to have some financial security, due to an inheritance I received before Mia and I married. I'm grateful for this nest egg, especially knowing that it's fully protected from any claims. The unconditional love and cherishment for my kids are my solace during these testing times. Their presence gives me strength and hope, reminding me that I'm not alone. I didn't foresee this turn of events, and even now, I'm struggling to reconcile with the reality of it. For the past week, I've been relentlessly scrutinizing my actions and behaviors, attempting to pinpoint any instance, where I may have unintentionally pushed her away. Despite my efforts, I fail to identify what I did wrong. At times, I even question whether her resentment could stem from something as trivial as forgetting to add the new car scent she likes when I cleaned her car last year. I've never been one to blame myself without reason, but her actions seem cruel and entirely unexpected. This ordeal has taken a toll on me, causing me to renounce the idea of dating or even considering it. It feels as though my ability to trust has been shattered completely. However, I'm holding on to the hope that therapy could help me and the kids navigate through this challenging period. Thank you once again. Your support is greatly appreciated. I'm not sure where to begin, or even what to say when I do. The first piece of news I'd like to share, is that I've managed to secure a very competent lawyer. The law firm she belongs to has a stellar reputation in my area, particularly in representing men and divorce cases. Instead of delegating my case to someone else on her team, she took it upon herself to personally handle it. The entire firm has displayed kindness and support. It's evident that they're not solely focused on the retainer and payoff. Nadia, my lawyer, has extended every possible help to ensure my well-being and sanity. After agreeing to take my case, we went through the usual forms that needed to be filled out. I provided information about properties, bank accounts, and gave ballpark estimates of Miya's and my income. After sharing the incident about the accident and what I witnessed before it happened, she inquired about my STD panel, to which I reassured her that all tests had come back clean. She then asked if I had documented evidence of Miya's infidelity, such as pictures or videos. I confessed that I wasn't in the right frame of mind to do so at that time. Without missing a beat, she phoned a private investigator her firm works with and scheduled a meeting for us the following day. Living in an at-fault state, concrete proof of Miya's infidelity is crucial for the divorce proceedings to go in my favor. We arranged for a member of Nadia's team to liaise between Miya's father and myself, mainly to manage communication and coordinate the kid's drop-offs. I promptly had her assistant notify my soon-to-be ex-father-in-law that my ex would have the kids the following weekend and subsequent week. Nadia then inquired about therapy for me and my children. I told her that I had my first therapy appointment lined up for the week, but since the kids were still in the dark, I was holding off on that for them. She assured me that whenever I felt they needed professional help, she had several therapists she could recommend. I must admit that her genuine empathy for my situation was comforting. I'm generally not fond of lawyers, but I think I've found one who indeed seems to possess a soul. She provided me with a checklist of tasks to complete before our next meeting, many of which were in line with the advice I received here. So, when she advised me to purchase two DNA kits from the drugstore, I didn't find it odd and recognized it as a standard procedure. When I got home with the kids that night, I conducted the cheek swabs for them and myself, sealed everything, and mailed the kits after dropping the kids at school the following morning. Come Friday, the appointed liaison dropped the kids off with their grandfather for the weekend. I was returning from lunch at work when I received email notifications from the lab. Deciding to open them on my computer, I anxiously clicked the link in the first email, revealing that my son Michael is indeed my biological child. I opened the second email and clicked the link, I read the results, and then read them again. I found myself speechless, shaking my head in disbelief as the realization that my daughter Carrie was, in fact, not my biological child. The pain was immeasurable, almost as if a part of me had been ripped away. It genuinely felt as though my soul had ripped out and been stolen. In my desolation, I didn't know who to call. I just sat there, sobbing, wishing desperately to wake up from this nightmare. I managed to screenshot the results and email them to myself as photo files. Then, I texted the pictures to my lawyer. Nadia called me within 20 seconds, asking where I was. Work, was all I could manage to utter through my distress. She instructed me to stay put and that someone from her firm would be there shortly. Unable to control myself any longer, I opened the car door and started vomiting uncontrollably. By the time I finished and the dizziness subsided, one of the paralegals arrived to pick me up. The firm took me in immediately, and as soon as Nadia was done with her current client, I was ushered into her office. The first thing she told me was that sometimes the tests come back wrong. Despite my distress, which she acknowledged was completely justified, she suggested we conduct another DNA test on Carrie and me at a local lab to ensure no contamination. I was in disbelief at what was happening. Even after catching Mia cheating, I had seen the DNA tests for the kids as mere formalities. Never could I have imagined my wife being unfaithful, let alone having another man's baby. Who had I married? The dilemma was that I couldn't confront Mia even if I wanted to. I lacked concrete proof. But the thought of having a conversation with her, should the results confirm our suspicions, was inconceivable. One of the ladies at the firm checked my blood pressure to ensure it wasn't dangerously high. It was elevated and I did feel on the verge of a panic attack, but at the same time, I was numbed by the shock of it all. I was wrestling with the idea that my little girl might never have been my biological daughter. At that moment, I was so relieved that the kids were with their mother. I found myself questioning the validity of both test results, speculating if Carrie could indeed be my daughter and Michael was not my son. Not willing to wait another two days for the truth, we arranged for the go-between to pick up Carrie the next day for a few hours, and then take her back to Mia's parents. The test was conducted in a sterile environment by trained medical staff. There was no mix-up. The results confirmed that I was not Carrie's father. Even though she was back with her mother by the time I received the results, the news hit me hard of the second time around, and I was thankful Carrie wasn't there to witness my breakdown. I sent the results to my lawyer, who called to check up on me and urged me to seek the comfort of my family during this trying time. Overcome with emotion, I drove to my father's house, crying all the way. When I arrived and saw my mother, she instantly knew something was wrong, but I was too choked up to speak. Finally, I managed to utter the devastating truth. Carrie is not my daughter. She asked, what? But she had heard correctly, and I was incapable of repeating it. After a lengthy silence, during which I wept uncontrollably, she stood up and called my dad. She implored him to hurry home, taking care to be safe, as I had terrible news to share. It took him about 20 minutes to arrive, and we spent the next few hours consoling each other, but we were all inconsolable. My parents asked about Michael, and I reassured them that he was my son. Their relief quickly turned into guilt, for feeling relieved at only losing one grandchild. They asked me what I planned to do next, but the truth was, I didn't know. The only certainty, was that I would ensure Carrie never lacked anything she needed or wanted. Regardless of any potential child support obligations, she was going to be taken care of. While I was grappling with my own pain, I couldn't help but feel even worse for Carrie, who was entirely innocent in this situation. I found myself questioning if I wanted custody of her, and whether it was even a possibility. I also began to wonder if Mia knew or suspected anything. I suddenly found myself yearning for answers. On the following Monday, I met with Nadia after work. She informed me that she'd had a meeting with a private investigator hired to follow Mia. Since the accident, Mia hadn't left the house, so he didn't have any recent evidence of her infidelity. However, he had been able to access nearly every app on her old cell phone, finding nudies and explicit texts exchanged with various men. The messages contained enough admissions of guilt to convince any judge. I was asked if I wanted to see any of the pictures or read the texts, but I declined. Yet, Nadia and I had to plan how to confront Mia about Carrie. She proposed to do it in her office, if Mia could be persuaded. As she dialed Mia's mother's number in front of me, I heard Mia's voice for the first time since I left the hospital. Nadia was straightforward and told her that she needed to meet me to discuss a few things. To my surprise, Mia seemed eager for a conversation. Nadia then asked Mia if her lawyer could be contacted. Mia mentioned she didn't have a lawyer, but was willing to come the next afternoon to discuss things. Getting through the next day at work without breaking down was a monumental task. I did my best to keep up the pretence of normality while a storm raged within. I was hardly able to keep my lunch down and left at three, feeling nauseous to head to the law firm. I made a point to arrive first. I wanted her to have to enter the room and sit on the side away from the door, avoiding any potential awkward attempts to approach me. I was scrolling through photos of our perfect family, a family that I now knew never truly existed, when she walked in. She needed help walking due to the cast she was still wearing from the accident. The threat of an unwanted hug was not a concern. I wondered briefly if she was playing up her injuries for sympathy, but the accident had indeed been serious. I found myself impatiently waiting for her to sit down, so we could start the confrontation. Once everyone was seated and water was offered, the meeting began. My lawyer kicked things off by asking Mia if she was okay with us recording the session. She agreed. As soon as the recording started, Mia, my soon-to-be-ex-wife, attempted to apologize. I interrupted her abruptly, asking her bluntly how many men she had cheated on me with, and when the infidelity began. There were enough confirmed instances from the private investigator to know that the man I had caught her with was far from the first. Of course, she wasn't aware of what we had learned, assuming that she could mitigate the severity of her actions prior to the accident. She decided to admit only to what she thought we knew. I pressed her for an estimate of how many men she had slept with since the birth of our son. This specific time frame seemed to give her pause, but she continued to feign ignorance. At this point, she still seemed to think this was some kind of game, and I could feel my anger building. Nadia put her hand on my shoulder, and gently eased me back from the table. She looked at Mia and asked if I was a good father. Mia quickly praised me, stating she couldn't have asked for a better father for her children. Her reference to her children made me want to flip the table. Nadia then asked her if the other father of her child would also be a good dad. As Mia asked what she was talking about, my attorney slid the paternity results for Carrie across the table. As much as I have despised what my life has become since discovering her infidelity, I had to be there to witness her reaction first hand. The shock of learning that I was not Carrie's father, was evident on her face. She attempted to argue that I was still the man who raised Carrie, but I cut her off. I asked her to reveal who Carrie's real father was. She looked down, displaying a hint of shame that led me to suspect she was protecting someone. When she confessed that she didn't know for certain who Carrie's father was, I couldn't hold back my tears any longer. I broke down. Mia began to cry too and asked if she could explain. She reminded me of the postpartum depression she suffered after Michael's birth. I tried to recall the situation with empathy, remembering how I had tried to support her at the time. I spent every available moment looking after our son, so she could have time to herself. There were days when she was so depressed that she couldn't get out of bed, and I cared for all of us. But I love doing it, all for the family I thought I had. I, remembered believing that overcoming this hurdle had strengthened our relationship. This wasn't the case, apparently. She didn't blame her friend Rebecca, but admitted that after Rebecca encouraged her to have a few nights out, I was relieved, even grateful. They'd been best friends for years, but their interactions had dwindled during the pregnancy. According to Mia, on their second night out, she got excessively drunk and let a man get close to her, let him touch her and have go all the way. She said she felt guilty about it for months. But then she began to resent not having the freedom to be with whomever she chose. She confessed to hooking up with various men during her nights out with Rebecca. Until the night before our accident, she'd never failed to return home or come home late. She claimed that she had no intention of developing feelings for any of the men. She insisted she always use protection and never slept with the same man, more than three times. All she wanted, she claimed, was intercourse. The revelation left me dumbfounded. The realization that your wife is unfaithful to such an extent can have that effect. I felt like my life had unwillingly become a reality show. I wanted to yell at her, but my mind was preoccupied, calculating the possible number of men she could have cheated on me with over the years. Nadia asked her if she had any idea who Carrie's father might be, and she swore that she had always assumed Carrie was mine. My lawyer pointed out the obvious, something had gone awry and suggested perhaps a condom had broken. When Mia confessed that this had happened a few times with a few different men, I lost control. I questioned her identity, feeling like the woman in front of me was a stranger, spouting horrendous facts as if she were merely asking to pass the salt. I asked her when she began to despise me and why. I demanded to know what I had done to deserve such betrayal. I questioned how she could inflict this on her daughter. In my rage, I unleashed all my feelings of betrayal, and she took it all, knowing the accusations were true. After all she had confessed and after expressing my feelings about her, divorce was a certainty. What was once a marriage had become a wasteland. The only thing left was to tally the damage. I've lost a wife and a daughter, that's two. A wife is lost a husband, that's three. A daughter has lost a father, and a son's sister is now only a half-sister. This also affects grandparents and in-laws. Mia had essentially ruined two entire families. Her parents will undoubtedly be appalled by her actions, and I swear I will show them all the evidence the investigator uncovers. She admitted to meeting men from dating apps, using girl time as an opportunity to hook up. She claimed she never intended to hurt me and insisted that she had no idea Carrie wasn't mine. I believe her because I had no idea either. But DNA doesn't lie. I asked why she hadn't simply divorced me. She admitted, without hesitation, that she didn't want to lose the security I provided. She cried throughout our conversation, but all I felt was contempt. I felt used, humiliated and emasculated. I felt defeated. I suspect that one reason she agreed to meet without a lawyer, is that I am the sole owner of most of our assets. Aside from a small 401k, she doesn't have much to lose. I inherited my grandfather's estate when I was 14. My biological mother died from a rare, fast-spreading cancer when I was 2. My father remarried when I was 4 to the woman I consider my mother. I've always known that she was not my biological mother, and I wasn't her biological son. She couldn't have children, and raising me gave her that experience. My biological mother's inheritance passed to me, her heir, but I couldn't access it until I turned 21. I worked hard and studied, but I don't need to work for a living. In the upcoming divorce, Mia knows that I will have the upper hand financially. She has a job, and although she's unable to work currently due to her injuries, she will be able to return to work. Part of me wants to punish her, while another part wants to be done with her. She seemed heavily medicated for pain during our meeting, which may explain her blunt demeanor. But her words cut me deeply, as my imagination embellished the scenarios. I asked if she felt any shame. She claimed she did. I demanded to know how we were going to determine who Carrie's actual father is. She started in with the I already know who her father is. Nonsense. I was not in the mood for some philosophical discussion about what constitutes being a father. Carrie's biological father deserves to know, and she needs to know about his family for medical reasons. The evidence the investigator had found didn't stretch back to before Carrie was born. I asked Mia if she could contact any of these men or had saved their numbers. She audaciously responded that the point of deleting their numbers, was to never see them again. It baffled me, how had I missed such flawed logic? I told her she should have kept the number of the man who got her pregnant, or given him a heads up as she contracted an STD. I want my name removed from Carrie's birth certificate. The DNA results prove she is not my child. As stated, I will continue to support her financially out of my own volition, even after she turns 18. She will want for nothing. As for my son and custody, I'm truly unsure of what to do. Before the paternity test, I was strongly considering a 90-tenth arrangement, giving my ex-wife custody one weekend a month and certain holidays. Now that I know Carrie isn't my biological child, I don't feel right about pursuing custody for her, even if I could obtain it. Considering Michael is, in fact her brother, albeit half-brother, I don't want to separate him from her either. I don't want either of them to suffer. But I haven't seen Carrie since the test results and I can't let her see me break down because of them. God knows how much her therapy is going to cost me, but I will have to pay for it. There is no way to know if her real dad can afford it. My own therapy will likely be enough to pay for some shrink's new beach house. Driving home after the meeting, a huge part of me just wanted to end it all. It seemed like the most beneficial solution for everyone but me. Both families could go on pretending about paternity. My ex could gallivant around openly while spending my grandfather's money. And the kids wouldn't have to deal with any broken marriage or failed relationships. But by the time I got home, I said screw that. Nadia is drawing up divorce papers and legal paperwork to have me declared not Carrie's father. That will undoubtedly make things take much longer. But I do not want any legal grounds that could force me to interact, pay for, or deal with offspring that are not mine. The legal team is researching ways to find out who Carrie's father is. Many of the ancestry sites suggest potential relatives when results come back. Right now, that's our first plan of action. Even if the results don't come back pointing to a certain individual, they might point to a brother, cousin, or another relative. Whomever the guy is, he may not be ready to accept a child he didn't know about. It could cause some anxiety in his life. But I doubt it will be nearly the terror I felt losing my daughter forever because she never existed. Everything is just so screwed up at the moment. Nothing is stable. Chaos is a daily burden at this point. The kids come back to the house Sunday afternoon. I've never wanted not to see them before. But I know many inevitabilities will happen that I cannot be prepared for. When she sees me and wants to hug her daddy, I'm not even sure how I'll react. Will I hug her and cry like a baby, knowing she has never truly been mine? Will I tell her I'm not the person she's looking for? I don't have it in me to be mean to her. But my heart is broken. It's like there is nobody to take this out on, even Mia. Because nothing I could do, outside of the unthinkable, would equal the betrayal she has committed against me. That scale will never be balanced, she used me and spit me out. She deserves to rot in hell for her promiscuous lying ways. I'm destroyed, and everything I used to love is too. I will win the divorce. Nadia and her team will ensure it is the most lopsided division of assets, in the history of divorce. But Mia reduced or removed the value of so much for me, it feels like she's already won. To hell with her. I'm left with a son whom she will try to use against me and manipulate. Some people really are just horrible like a parasite. I made the foolish decision to have a child with one such person. I just know now I'm not the only foolish one. Dude. I have no words for this tragedy. It's every man's nightmare. Take care of yourself and do the best you can. Best wishes. Yeah, insomnia and nightmares. Only to wake up and find the nightmare is still going. I'm getting flack on here and in real life about my role in Kerry's life going forward and how I treat her. Everybody seems to have a damn opinion. The fact is, it will be impossible to do what's best for me and best for the kids. And just as this has all damaged me beyond repair, it will also damage the kids. But I have people accusing me of wanting to harm Kerry just to hurt Mia. I actually had someone message me, accusing me of being a misogynist because if my son hadn't been mine, I would have just accepted it. To that I say nonsense. People are advising me not to tell her now. And that makes sense in many ways. But if we managed to find Kerry's father, who do they propose we tell her that guy is? I could let her go on thinking I'm her dad for the rest of her life. But there is some guy out there who has a child and doesn't know it. Sure, he may want no part of her life. But if he does, he should be involved in her formative years. He should get to know her, and she should get to know him and his family. He might be the nicest guy in the world and would make a great dad. Everyone is wanting to do what is best for Kerry. But opinions on what is truly best for Kerry very widely. Because nobody knows how this will turn out and nobody can see into the future. I want my name off of her birth certificate for legal reasons. But people are considering me cold and heartless for that. She isn't my daughter. That is a scientific fact that cannot be debated. It doesn't matter one iota how Kerry feels about me or how I feel about her. Feelings change every day. That's why we use science. I wish to god the science was wrong. I can feel that I impregnated me a twice, but nope, I was just first in line. Science took what I believed and felt and shattered it all into a thousand pieces. I don't like it. But facts are just facts. You can't change or make up your own facts, unless you want to live in fairytale land. I don't. Sunday when I see Kerry again, I know I'm going to lose my composure. I can be stoic and not show any emotion around Mia. But not Kerry. I'm going to cry. She's going to wonder why I'm crying. I can't tell her. That's going to make her feel worse. Michael is going to wonder why I'm crying. I won't be able to let him know anything either. So there I'll be, trying to act like an adult and be a parent, with two kids crying for no apparent reason. But people are concerned about how I'll treat Kerry. The truth is, I don't know and won't know how I will treat her until it happens. All I know is I am not going into that reunion with any hatred toward Kerry or wishing any harm on her beautiful little head. But it may overwhelm me. It may make me imagine the sheer number of guys Mia cheated with. It may cause me to become catatonic. But the people who are getting on my case, thinking I am going to see her again and show her cruelty, are just insane. I needed this thread to vent. And the advice has been golden. But my god, some people, empathy doesn't seem to be their friend. I am so, so sorry and I have nothing to suggest or advice, because your stance is already excellent. I was waiting to read that your wife actually loved you and her adventures were actually purely lust. I don't know what your wife is going to do now, but she's screwed. Rebecca is a venom it seems. I have always tried to observe about my ex's friend circle, to scan out a Rebecca type. Fortunately, none of my ex's had these pseudo-sexy time empowerment kind of crap around them. Rebecca was in high school with Mia and I. I thought she was my friend too. I thought she supported me in our marriage. Turns out I was very, very wrong. People like Rebecca, will always want others to be like them which is a sabotaged life, justified as liberating. She was in our wedding. If not for Mia's sister, I have no doubt Becca would have been made of honor. But I would have sworn she was also my friend. Sure, I could have imagined scenarios where she might keep a secret of Mia for me. But I never imagined her being not only supportive of the cheating, but facilitating it too. It might be wrong, and probably is because my thinking is not what it should be. But I'm almost more livid at Rebecca than I am Mia. Mia was my wife, it was my duty to show her kindness. The times I paid for Rebecca's meals, or took them out shopping. I just hate knowing I have treated someone with kindness and respect, that didn't deserve it. If I'd been secretly sabotaging her life all these years, I wonder how she'd feel about me now? I'm sorry. But after reading that, I'm hoping to God you throw the gloves off and fight dirty. It's not because she loved you, it's because you supported her financially. Jesus. I'd get as much custody as possible, and make her pay as much child support as possible. Thank God you live in an at fault state. If you're really down to do as much damage as possible, you can become a short-term hookup buddy with Rebecca. It would totally destroy your ex, especially if Rebecca is supporting her emotionally through this. Also, she probably encouraged your wife out of jealousy, so she might be receptive to your advances. And it helps a lot with the low self-esteem you feel after being cheated on. Also, her not even knowing who the dad is, must be the most monumentally humiliating and shameful thing for her. If you do find out through your people, sit on the info for a while. Let the fact that she doesn't even know make its way through her friends and family, so they can see what an embarrassing excuse of a wife she is. Seriously, she probably cried to Rebecca asking if she remembers any of the men's names, and she gave the obligatory, I'm so sorry honey. Then Rebecca immediately called her other friends to tell them how she slept around so much. She doesn't even know who the daddy is. If you do find out, then start hounding her to find out in case there's any genetic health concern so that she starts making noise, reaching out and drawing attention to the fact she doesn't know. Then you can come sweeping in and save the day with the answer. You did the impossible when it should have been her responsibility. Hey, I know people will hate this idea, but personally, I'd be out for blood and I'll do it to win the war. As much of a coward as this will make me sound to any other men reading it, the only woman I've ever been intimate with was Mia. That was my choice. I stupidly thought she had made the same choice as me. She said she did. But honestly, if the most beautiful woman on earth wanted to be with me right now, I'd turn it down. Knowing what I know about Mia has made sexy time itself repulsive to me. Protection or not, I feel like I can't wash off the filth of other males she subjected me to. I feel cheap and dirty, and not in a good way. So, the idea of doing anything with Rebecca, when she has years more experience as a, I'll be nice and call her a loner flashlight, if you know what I mean. I couldn't muster the attraction to Rebecca to be with her, in any manner. Your idea is great, don't get me wrong. Repeatedly driving her head into a headboard out of anger sounds like something I'd be into with her, figuratively speaking. Because my conscience has a say in this. The go-between from the law firm texted me at 3pm on Sunday, to let me know she had the kids securely in the car with their belongings, and was on her way to the house. I doubt any text message in history has been as dreaded for anyone as that one was for me. What made it all the more tragic, was the fact that weeks before, I would have smiled and anxiously awaited the text. Suddenly a reunion I would have been yearning for, was something I dreaded. I had no plans to mention divorce, paternity, or any issues with the kids. As much as I tried to prepare myself, I knew I wasn't in the state of mind to bring any of that up. My goal was for things to go as normally as they could, like the other times they stayed with grandparents while Mia and I were on vacation. That's what I wanted. I knew reality was going to be something completely different and I had little control over any of it. Jessica, the intern from the firm, pulled into the driveway. I watched them pull up from the front bay window. I walked outside and down the steps as the car pulled to a stop. I was smiling as I approached the passenger side of Jessica's car. As soon as I saw Carrie in her car seat beaming a huge smile at me, I started crying. Oh, but my face was still smiling. You couldn't have knocked that damn smile off of me. I just hoped if I maintained a smile, it might convince the kids and myself everything was okay. Wish I'd had a plan B. As soon as I could get her out of the car seat, Michael was by my side and I grabbed him and Carrie and just hugged them. I told them I missed them, that was really all I could manage to say. I just kept crying. And people can hate me all they want to. God knows I've gotten some hate-filled messages privately and publicly. But it all felt different. It did not feel the same as the day I hugged my children goodbye. I want to say it did, just to get the people who think I'm a loathsome retch off of my back. Maybe part of the loss I was feeling was over the family unit we all used to know being destroyed. My heart was just flat out broken. Seeing them and knowing she isn't mind just broke my heart all over again. That is what my life has become. Every single damn day it feels like there is a new heartbreak. I learn more of the extremes of me as cheating escapades. I discover pain I can't shield the kids from. I am reminded of the past bonds and know they were all founded on lies. I keep backing away from the volcanic epicenter of chaos that started when I caught me a cheating. But I keep getting blasted with stray boulders of betrayal daily, learning how much I have been deceived. Jessica was a saint helping me get them into the house. I grabbed all of their belongings like a pack mule, and she closed the doors and trunk. As soon as I placed their bags down on the floor, I turned to see Carrie looking up at me. She didn't say anything, she just looked up at me with those eyes, like she knew I was the one that needed the hug. I squatted down. She walked into my arms and wrapped her little arms around me as tightly as she knew how. That child broke me. I wanted to be strong. But no kid should hear a parent cry like that. Everyone keeps insisting I do the things that damage them the least. That's great, even logical. But what if everything damages them? What if there is no way to keep the damage from happening? Allowing her to see a source of strength and security destroyed has to be damaging her. How could it not? If I abandoned her, it would destroy her. Yet by staying in her life, I am damaging her as well. A six-year-old shouldn't have to console a grown man, especially for something that isn't her fault. My soul was seething with rage toward me at that moment. But the little girl she lied and told me was mine, just showed me love the only way she knew how and kept hugging. The indisputable truth of the matter, the epiphany I had at that moment. She and I, are both, victims. As the adult, I'm supposed to be able to maintain and handle it better. She doesn't even know she's been victimized yet. Just as if she and I were the only survivors of a plane crash, we survived, but it's going to leave scars on our souls. But as the survivors, we need to stick together. We need to be there for each other, because we're going through the same thing. Yes, very different perspectives. But at that moment I was feeling the loss and yet sparing her much of the pain by taking it upon myself. I've been looking at this as Mia taking my daughter for me. But it is just as true to say Mia took her father from her. The villain in this story is Mia. I'm done feeling like I should feel guilt for anything I feel right now. There is no paternity handbook that I'm aware of. Reddit knows how to respond when someone is being cheated on and gives top-notch advice all the way through the divorce. The proper way to react when you find out the daughter you raised was never yours? Get the hell out of here with that. Nobody can tell me how I should feel or react. The only analogy I can give is children switched at birth. That's a couple facing that together. They were both deceived. They both get to find out the offspring they were told was their flesh and blood, was really the sperm and ovum from another couple. Unless you've endured that or the same thing I am right now, you can't grasp how it feels. After about a half an hour I managed to get myself together. Jessica left after getting a hug from all three of us. I handed her a small envelope with $500 inside and told her it was for gas. I knew she drives an EV, and she knew it wasn't for gas. I carried Carrie around in my arms as Michael showed me some of the things he'd helped make with his grandfather. Carrie just kept her arms around my neck, making sure I knew she'd help stain some of the wood. I went into my standard, I don't believe you game. Michael joined in. That devolved into a tickle session first for Carrie, then Michael. I cannot convey how wonderful and at the same time heartbreaking it was to hear Carrie squeals and laughter. Seeing Michael happy and laughing was a joy for my broken soul. Because I knew the future held little to none of what we were at that moment enjoying. They teamed up to wrestle me. I liked seeing them work together, even if it was against me. Father or not, by the time she's old enough to date, I'll have her able to say no with feeling. I put on some music. Ever since she was a baby, Carrie has loved music. I have danced with her from the first week she was born up until the previous month. I'm sure I look goofy. I don't care. I have fun, and she loves acting as silly as me. I got Uber Eats to bring takeout for dinner. We aren't Asian, but we sure eat like it. Michael can throw down some low mind for a 10 year old. And for whatever reason, Carrie loves Crab Rangoon. I didn't eat much. My appetite has taken care of any weight loss issues I had. I just enjoyed getting to have dinner with them again. They both had school today. So, I got them bathed, in their pajamas, and ready for bed. Michael likes to read a book as he is settling down. I gave him a hug, told him I loved him, and said I'd see him in the morning. I got Carrie tucked into bed and read her a storybook while pointing out things in the artwork. I had her about ready to nod off and I felt myself welling up with tears. I kissed Carrie on her head, and told her I love you for the first time since finding out. Call me the biggest jerk on the planet. I don't care. But saying it, was like allowing myself to admit it. Everything in my life has been a struggle in recent days to figure out what is real and what isn't. My love for Carrie is real. I love her. I do feel different. Right or wrong, I do. But I love her. I went from not wanting to take anything away from her to continuing to, want to give. It's a huge difference. But anyway, I was sort of waiting for Carrie to tell me she loves me. I mean I know she does, without her saying it. No, she took the moment to tell me something I didn't expect. She said, Mommy loves you. I knew what she said. I made a point not to snap at her and be as sweet as I could possibly be when I asked her. Carrie, why did you tell me that? She said Mommy told her. I very sweetly asked if Mommy just said that or if Mommy told her to tell me that. It seemed my soon-to-be ex-wife had to explain why I hadn't been to visit, wouldn't be coming over, and she wouldn't be coming home with them. She actually told the kids her parents' house was her new home, which I was kind of glad of. But the I love you nonsense, I still had to get to the bottom of. I pride some more, then Michael came into the room. He revealed their mom had told them she wouldn't be coming home, because I didn't love her anymore. What the hell was I supposed to say to that? Yep? It's all on me. I just fell out of love with your mom. Blame me. That was not happening. I called our usual sitter. I asked if there was any way she could come over for a few hours to look after the kids. Since they were already in bed and that meant she could study while getting paid, she agreed. I got into the car and made a beeline for my in-laws' house. I didn't bother calling first. When I got there, I knocked on the front door and asked to see Mia. Her mom led me to her childhood room where she was recuperating from her injuries. I turned to her mom and placed my hand on the doorknob before telling her, Mia and I needed to chat. She sensed I was a little on the angry side. So, she scurried out of the blast radius. As soon as the door was closed, I asked just who the hell she thought she was, trying to pin our split on the fact I could never love her again. She said it was the truth. I told her perhaps, but the reason I could never love her again is that she is a lying, deceitful, worthless, promiscuous, lying you can fill in the last blank. Way to deflect blame on her little role in everything. She then said she's already tried to apologize but I didn't want to hear it. I exploded. I asked her what good an apology was going to do. It wasn't going to undo the damage, and it wasn't going to prevent the damage from happening. And in spite of all of that, I didn't believe she was truly sorry for what she'd done. I asked her how she could manipulate two innocent children to make me look like the bad guy if she had any guilt. I asked her at what point I became the bad guy that destroyed our marriage. Without missing a beat, she told me when I didn't give her a second chance. Not going to lie, I stopped her and asked how much pain medication she was taking and if she was drinking alcohol with it. That was the only logical way I could see her thinking a worthless lying tramp deserves a second chance, mercy, to be treated with dignity and respect. Nope, she lost all of that through her own actions. Again, I don't even know who my wife is anymore. It's like she's been possessed by the ghost of Caligula or Charlie Sheen. My beautiful, virtuous wife was replaced by a soulless hook-up harlot, and it's a miracle of God himself my health wasn't compromised due to her disgusting actions. I asked her if she felt justified destroying everything in her life for cheap thrills. She said it wasn't just for that. I reminded her she claimed to want no emotional involvement. She said much of it, especially at first, was about validation. She said she liked being chased. She got annoyed when I asked how she could ever consider herself chased. But she can deal with the consequences. Actions affect how you are perceived for the rest of your days. Mia and I ended up talking for several hours. When she went through depression after having Michael, she even told me, I had been the best, most supportive husband she could have asked for. So, I had to ask, why betray me so cruelly? She said despite such a happy event in our life, there was a part of her so anxiety written she actually wanted to delete herself. She said she felt love in her heart for me and for Michael. But for some reason, she couldn't understand, she felt depressed and hollow inside. She stayed out of work for an additional six months due to her issues. I got her the best therapists and doctors money could buy, and she admitted as much. She said even that started making her feel guilty, feeling she was letting me down, that I was carrying us. She felt overwhelmed even though she knew she wasn't bearing any of the burden. She started to doubt if she ever should have become a mother, despite always wanting to be one. She withdrew from friends both in person and via internet slash text. Every day she told me she loved me and apologized. I told her she had nothing to apologize for, I just wanted her to get better. Maybe she was apologizing for what she was about to do. When Rebecca came to the house on an ounce that first day, I was so glad to see her. I knew Becca was assertive enough to not be pushed away but be kind enough to get Mia to open up. It still took months before anything that could be considered a night on the town occurred. Just getting Mia to go to Starbucks was a victory at the time. There are plenty of guys thinking I'm the biggest schmuck on earth, for letting my wife go to bars or clubs with a single girlfriend. 99% of the time you would be 100% correct. And I should have put a stop to it much sooner. But at that moment in our lives, after all the sadness and isolation, getting her out and about seemed to cheer her up, even after just the first time. She tried to explain she'd suddenly become a wife and mother in a period of two years. Seeing how men were attracted to her, even if it was for cheap thrills, boosted her ego. She claimed, the first incident wouldn't have happened if she hadn't been so drunk, but it happened willingly. Once the deed was done, she knew I'd never touch her again if I knew. She knew she'd lose everything, because she came into the marriage with nothing. I asked her if she ever thought I'd find out about her cheating, or how I'd react if I did. She said she knew it would destroy me, she claimed she felt horrible about it. I asked the obvious question, why continue to cheat? She claimed as soon as she sobered up after cheating, she felt guilt, shame and regret. I did remember her being really sad for a week after going out the first time. Rebecca came over and the two of them talked for hours alone. From that point for months, I had the old Mia back. She revealed she told Becca the day she felt unworthy of me because of what she did. She knew if I found out we were done, I would go after Michael. She claimed she decided to take it to the grave and try to be the best wife she could be in every way, to make it up to me. In retrospect, it was a red flag. Think I'm a fool all you wish. But we had a baby to look after and I had been doing 95% of the caregiving. Overnight, I got my wife back. At that time, it would have seemed stark raving mad to consider that a red flag. It felt like a miracle. Within two weeks, I was back working part-time, then full-time once Mia was fine as a stay-at-home mom. Looking back, the time just before and just after Michael was a year old were some of the happiest moments of our lives, at least for me. Finding out it was all due to her trying to make up for being unfaithful, forever altered those happy memories. I asked why she cheated again, was I not enough for her? I had always thought we had a great intimate life aside from her depressed period. She always acted like she enjoyed being with me. She claimed the longer she kept the secret, the worse she felt about herself. But unlike the time after Michael was born, she couldn't let me know how she felt. She knew I'd want to comfort her if I knew she was sad, but she couldn't tell me why. She described an internal struggle of keeping the secret and living a lie behind a facade of happiness. She reminded me of a time I went to a reunion of my biological mother's family out of state. I took Michael with me to introduce him to her family for the first time. Mia canceled at the last minute claiming she was ill. I couldn't have stopped her from cheating on me at that moment, that was already done. But I might have prevented her from heading down a path that would deceive me for six years, making me believe something I cherished was never mine. I wasn't blaming myself. She should have been on that plane with us. No, actually she should have already confessed to her infidelity and let me move on with my life. Yet somehow, multiple mistakes compounded with multiple lies, with little concern for consequences, and now that's my burden to bear? That's something you do to an enemy, not someone you claim to have ever loved. She gave me some story about being so depressed that weekend while I was away. She knew she was unworthy, even if I didn't. She was punishing herself, even if I didn't know she deserved it. At least, that was her rationalization. She knew if I knew the truth, I would view her as a streetwalker and be disgusted with her. I never stopped showing my love, telling her how much I loved her. But she said at some point she realized if I knew the truth, I wouldn't love her. The attention I gave her didn't matter, it didn't carry the same weight as before. Because she realized she was unworthy of the attention, and I'd realized that too if I knew about her sorted rendezvous. She said she called Becca for a shoulder to cry on, who convinced her to go out for drinks. According to her, she spent the first part of the night crying and asking what she should do. The bartender bought her a few shots to help her cheer up. She didn't have to tell me that Rebecca nudged her towards some flirting. She found herself kissing a guy in the back alley behind the bar, and then stopped herself. She went back inside feeling even worse than before, because she realized she had cheated yet again. More alcohol was consumed. Becca needed someone to help Mia inside. She asked the guy who just had his tongue down my wife's throat. Rebecca left them alone and clothes came off. I asked her if she ever thought of Michael, or if I ever crossed her mind as she betrayed us both. She got angry and told me she never betrayed her son. I made it clear she betrayed not only me and Michael, but also Carrie, our parents, everyone who watched us take our vows and got above. She betrayed the sanctity of our family and marriage. But I stopped and just shook my head telling her despite what she'd done to that point, she should have just let me go. I told her I would have looked out for Michael, she could have had her way with the entire state after we divorced. I even told her I would have gladly written her name on bathroom stalls for her. But she didn't. She kept lying. She kept cheating. So much of it disgusted me to hear. Like she had an actual strategy after the first few guys. She didn't want them getting attached to her as she wasn't going anywhere unless she had to. She wasn't looking for an emotional connection. She even gave it a name and called it fishing. Getting a guy's number, breaking the ice, giving a little nibble, pulling away, getting him to pursue, but all on her timetable. When she said she already knew I thought she was beautiful, getting second opinions didn't feel like a bad thing at the time. I just looked at her shaking my head. At any rate, the bartender is not Carrie's father. That much we are sure of. He was months too early in the game to have been the sperm donor, and she claims they only hooked up that one time. I asked if she could remember the names of the specific guys she was talking to and getting to pursue her. Maybe a couple of first names, but I wouldn't know where to find them, was enough to shut the conversation down for the night. Yes, I wanted more answers. But the details of the BS aren't coming out in one night. And that wasn't what I came there for. She was seated in a chair to be able to prop up her cast on pillows. So, I got down inches from her face. I told her she was a pitiful excuse for a human, and I truly believe she has no soul. I told her that her actions have caused unimaginable pain, and will continue to do so in the future. But I looked her squarely in the eyes, and let her know I was not going to let her hurt my children anymore. I told her point blank that I was the one who got deceived for six years. If anyone was going to be getting a little slack for focusing on his needs, it was going to be me. But Mia, I told her, and I meant every word, petty bullshit and manipulation is just going to make me loathe her even more. We weren't getting back together, ever. I was disgusted for her to even touch me. Loyalty wasn't even in her vocabulary. But father or not, I was going to be loyal to Carrie. I was going to protect her as much as I could. And if I end up having to protect her from her mother's lies, manipulations and deceit, so be it. I told her Nadia has friends that would love a new BMW for getting her declared an unfit mother. I went there. And I meant every damn word. I told her if she had things to say, she could say them to my face. Getting Michael or Carrie to relay things their mother said, was not happening ever again. Carrie was to know little to nothing about any details of our divorce and for right now, paternity. But when the time came to tell her, I would be the one who would break that news. It would be me who got to explain how her mother victimized us both, but we survived together. There was no way in hell I was allowing the person who destroyed so much for us both to downplay it or blame me. That horrible news wasn't coming anytime soon for her as far as I planned, until the need arises. And I'll decide when that is. I pointed out she doesn't have a lawyer and let her know the kids would be staying with me for at least the next two weeks. She needed some time to reflect on not only the entirety of her betrayal, but her cruel manipulation that will only hurt Carrie. I'd let her know when she'd earn the right to be a mother again. There wasn't much she could do. I had the kids. She's in two casts. Let her live with some loneliness. My God, I've made mistakes in my life. On the drive home, I kept wishing somehow I could have just known how things would turn out. And this is the biggest struggle of my life. I hope it is the biggest struggle I ever face. But so much has been destroyed. The sham marriage I was living needs to be torn down, ground into dust, and the soil tilled with salt. But there is no reason to hurt a little girl who at the moment is blissfully unaware of the battle between her mother and her daddy. I want it to stay that way. Those children cannot see us together. When Mia and I are in the same room, the entire aura oozes venom. That's beyond toxic for us. I'm not subjecting the kids to any of it. I will not fight her in front of them. But I swear I will put her in her place and call out the slightest BS. I'm sorry this has been long. I just feel like every decision I make has 1000 ramifications. The man up DNA doesn't matter. People need to understand that hurting Kerry is the last thing I want to do. And I have every intention of being not only in her corner, but fighting for her. I don't know how this is going to end. But me and that little girl got shafted by the same person. A person that I refuse to let damage her the way she damaged me. Not happening. And no random weird no life is coming around. My daughter until I allow it. That won't be Mia's decision either. If I check his background and meet him, I'll make that call if the day ever comes. Until that point my son Michael, my daughter Kerry, and I are weathering a storm. I've managed to shield them from what's coming. I will shield them from as much of the shrapnel as I can. But our souls are all going to bleed a time or two before this is all over. This carnage could have been prevented, but once the bomb goes off it can't be avoided. I'm sorry for venting. I intended it as an update only. But this is all too much sometimes. I am in therapy two times per week. Not sure it's helping. But it's early on with the shrink so I'll give it a few more sessions. I have to get to bed. So, I will post this and let it be. I won't post again for a while. It has helped to verbalize some of what I've been feeling. So, thank you. I just need to focus on my healing and making this transition in life as seamless as I can for the kids. Thank you for all the direction and encouraging words. Many have been a huge help. I promise to return the favor and try to help others here someday. Just not today. You can't just go on being with your kids, without addressing what their mom told them about the reason she is no longer home. Mia has planted a seed in their minds, and if you don't take care of that seed, then it will grow. Find a family counselor. Explain your situation to them. Explain that it is your goal to protect the kids from the lies of their mother in a child-appropriate way and that you need help to do so. Regarding Mia, don't ever meet with her alone again. This woman doesn't care about you and is experienced in manipulating a situation to her favor and against you. This is no longer about what she did. From now on, this is a fight for the future, a fight about custody. If you are alone with her, then she can tell everyone else about the things you did like threatening to kill her or to beat her up or so on. Maybe you even touched her aggressively and asked her all the time if she likes that since she is such a whore. I think you get what I mean. Maybe Mia will not even do it, but Rebecca and her will talk, and maybe it will be Rebecca that tells her to spin the story of when you met alone around. Protect yourself and your kids. That starts with not meeting with that woman alone, and if you think now that she wouldn't do that, especially not with the state she is in, then remember the state she was in when she started cheating on you. Keep in mind, you don't know her. You only knew the idea you had of her but never the actual person. She is capable of doing things that you can't even imagine. Her cheating and her manipulation of the kids is just the beginning, just a little taste of all the things she is capable of. Always remember, lying to you is as normal for her as breathing. Stay away from her, or to say it more directly. This woman, Mia, she doesn't care about you. She doesn't mind to destroy your life if that means that she feels good for a moment. You need to keep that in mind all the time, or do you really think that someone could do something like she did over such a period of time to someone they love? People do that to people they don't care about, but not to people they love. Mia is interested in one thing only herself. If she needs to destroy you to get what she wants, then you better believe that she will do so. You think that she is sorry for what she did? That she regrets anything? Look at what she said when you asked her why she told the kids what she said. She blamed you because you didn't give her the chance to keep on cheating on you. The start of her cheating? She blamed you because you were too good to her and she blames the depression. Why she kept on cheating? Because she knew how you would react if you find out which pushed her to cheat more often because she was so desperate. Everyone is at fault for where she is right now except for herself. She never wanted to make these decisions, she just had no other choice. Stay away from her. Nothing good will ever come out of meeting with her. Hi, Crannick. I can't adequately express what your post meant to me. You are 100% on the money about things in regard to Mia. It was late when I posted this last night. I didn't get a lot of sleep and I am certainly feeling it today. I appreciate every single comment and word of encouragement from everyone. But I don't have the time to respond to each, as much as I'd love to. So I'm only replying to your comment about this post. A few months down the road or longer when things have settled, I may give an update and answer any questions that arise. I was a damn idiot to go over there and confront her. I should have been recording the conversation at the very least. I like to think her parents wouldn't take her side if she accused me of abuse that night or anything. But she is their daughter, yes, as far as we know. They are disgusted by what she has done. They are disappointed she has disrupted their grandchildren's lives. But at the end of the day, they raised her, their loyalty is to her. I must keep that in the back of my mind at all times from this point forward in everything I do. And thank you for helping me decide it is time to talk with them and explain about the divorce. And I'm going to need help doing that. Within 15 minutes of reading your post, I was on the phone with Nadia to get the numbers of the therapists she recommended. I didn't even have to call and make an appointment. She got her staff to call and set the appointment up for Thursday after school. It will be tough. They will cry and so will like goal one is to let them know Mia and I are done. Goal two is to let them know nothing they did caused any of it. None of it is their fault. Then my final goal is to let them know this BS isn't my fault either. Right or wrong, I have to promote myself to them and others in the narrative. I cannot let Mia solely determine how this is all perceived by the kids and others. As far as Rebecca goes, well, thank God I haven't laid an eye on her since that. Horrible morning. I'm sure she's in the background and in contact with Mia. Knowing she probably views her support as having Mia's back, and a positive thing anyone would do for a best friend makes my blood boil when I think about it. I'm huge on loyalty. But when you are loyally helping a friend cheat, deceive, and lie, without a care for that friend's victims, that's aiding and abetting, not loyalty. Part of me wonders if Becca has any remorse or guilt for her role in this. I shouldn't care. And at the end of the day, I don't. I just can't get past how you help destroy families and sleep at night. I couldn't do it. But then again, I have a conscience and integrity. Everyone is at fault for where she is right now, except for herself. She never wanted to make these decisions. She just had no other choice. I swear in all the years I have known Mia, she had never displayed narcissistic tendencies until recently. Immediate finger pointing at others, anyone else, to take the focus off of her misdeeds. Yes, she was obviously more manipulative than I ever really knew. Is there such a thing as a temporary narcissist? Can an adult become a narcissist? I'm sure to many I seem naive and gullible. But the person Mia is now, is not anyone I ever knew. The easy option is to declare I never knew her. That makes it much simpler. But in hindsight, she changed after Michael was born. I've looked back at her period of postpartum depression, knowing that was where our life took the off ramp toward the hell it has become. I have asked myself over and over how I could have treated her differently during that time to produce a different outcome. Should I have gone a more tough love route? Should I have tried to force her to deal with a reality of life? I had choices and I obviously made the wrong ones dealing with her. But even today as the dust is continuing to settle, I'm at a loss of how I could have helped her better. I was there for her and Michael any time they needed me. Obviously, I could have done things differently, but I swear I don't know what the better options were. As of today, here are my plans going forward. I need to stick with my therapy and make damn sure I am open and honest with my thoughts and feelings. This isn't a walk it off, rub some dirt on its situation. The next thing I plan is to get the kids in therapy together, by themselves and with me. I'm not here to repair the bond between Mia and her kids. One of my jobs in the future, is to make sure Carrie doesn't end up being like her, this goal gave me focus. I won't be trying to make her hate her mom. But I'm sure as hell not going to sugar coat truths that arise as things come out into the open. I will get my name off of Carrie's birth certificate. But I decided last night I am seeking primary custody. Mia has a long road for recovery due to her injuries. She'll need tons of physical therapy and possibly more surgeries. While that is going on she is actually unable to look after them. Her parents were tasked with that responsibility last week. Until the divorce and custody are final, I will have custody and make no apologies for using it. No lawyer she and her parents can afford can match Nadia and company. If I have to destroy Mia to keep from destroying Carrie, I'm fine with that. As stated, my appetite has sucked for obvious reasons. While I'm a rather large guy, I'm not fat. I did go attempt to work out at a gym with a co-worker last week. There's just something monotonous about it. But one of the trainers told me about a group he leads every Monday morning once a week. You get out on a field, regardless of weather. You flip tractor tires, you whip ropes, you do sprints, you do crunches. Everything but juggling medicine balls. Sounds like hell. Also sounds like just what I need right now. I can't take anger out on a dumbbell. But flipping that huge tire like I wanted to flip the bed I caught them. In, seems logical to fight the rage. I promise the trainer I'd do four weeks straight each Monday and proceed from there starting next week. I may break within 15 minutes. Or he may need to go buy a new tractor tire, because I launched that one toward the sun. Guess we'll find out. But again, thank you so much. I mean others gave great advice too. And it is nice to know people care about me but most of all the kids. It makes me feel like I have others in my corner, even if they may be thousands of miles away. I have family and friends for support. But when they have a personal stake in the situation, it's hard for them to be 100% objective. Thanks for taking the time to tell me what I needed to hear and validating what I already knew. The gloves are off, and I've gone into Papa Bear mode. Mama Bear and her friend Goldilocks, yes, Becca is a blonde, maybe worthless liars who have sexy-timed half the forest. But I will expose to all what wicked witches they both are. And as they failed to learn long ago. Don't poke the bear. Though I'm not sure where to begin, I don't want to leave anything out. I do have a sense of what I hope to convey when I'm done. It's just very hard to discuss any one aspect of my situation that doesn't branch into other parts of my life. If this sounds disjointed, forgive me, but this will be a long read. The life I was living has been gone long enough, to the point where it feels like it was all a dream from which I woke up. The best analogy I can give is that Mia cast Michael, Kerry, and me in a tawdry reality show against our will and without our knowledge. The show got cancelled, the facade was revealed, and we're left with the cold reality of our collective reality. Not a day goes by that I don't think about how happy I was in my old life. But now, knowing it was all a complete and utter lie built upon lies, I wouldn't want it back. The biggest news I need to share is that I am no longer legally Kerry's father. I have never been her father biologically. My name is off her birth certificate. Officially, because Mia and I are still married, I am now Kerry's stepdad, as odd as that sounds and is to say. When the divorce is finalized, as things presently stand, I will officially be nothing to her, nor her to me. What should have taken about two months to do, took four months because there was an upcoming divorce to consider. My name had to be removed from her birth certificate to properly forge ahead with the divorce. Legally, I had every right to pursue having my name removed from the birth certificate of a child that is not biologically mine. It was still left up to the ruling of a judge to adjudicate if removing my name was in the best interest of the child. DNA is legally binding to make you pay child support for 18 years, but our court systems find that of secondary importance when it comes to removing names from legal documents. I was willing and able to show the judge I will voluntarily continue to pay Kerry's health and supplemental insurances. Many guys in my situation couldn't do that, nor should they have to. None of it should be left up to a judge's ruling. The unjust system didn't affect me, but that doesn't mean it is remotely fair. From the moment I first knew Kerry was not my daughter, I have pondered over and over in my mind how to best handle the situation. Yes, learning she isn't mine emotionally destroyed me in ways I don't think I could verbalize. But addressing Kerry's situation with emotion would have been a recipe for disaster. Our emotions betray us, because they are not based on reason and logic. Allowing my love for Kerry to guide me, would have been just as stupid as allowing my hate for Mia to guide me. And legally, I had every right to cut all ties with Mia and Kerry as neither one was ever mine. Morally, I couldn't let Kerry suffer economically because of her mother's rampant promiscuity. Ethically, I could not allow her to feel any of what her mother did was her fault in any way. At the end of the day and after a lot of soul searching, I came to the realization she and I were both victimized by Mia. My soon-to-be ex-wife removed my agency in regard to every aspect of our relationship when she cheated. I wasn't told she no longer loved me or never actually did. I was not allowed to know she'd been unfaithful. I wasn't informed I was no longer her one and only. I was kept from learning she conceived a baby with a stranger and had me raise that child as my own for six years. Kerry didn't get a say as to whether she would have chosen me as her dad. She never got a voice to tell her mother what she had done to us both was sheer evil. I wanted to give us both a voice. The day after my name was officially removed from Kerry's birth certificate, I filed a petition to legally adopt her as my daughter. That had been my plan all along. Once I could be certain just seeing her wouldn't be a reminder of her mother's betrayal. I just had to know that one thing to be sure. And I couldn't know it until I saw her face to face after learning she's not my biological daughter. If seeing her it felt like the slap in the face her mother gave me when I caught her cheating, I couldn't have done it. People are free to think I'm wrong for feeling that way. Fragile masculinity I believe was the term a toxic feminist used toward me when I wasn't sure how I'd react seeing Kerry again. If I had totally abandoned Mia and Kerry, which I had every legal right to do, I still wouldn't be in the wrong. And I won't pretend that keeping Michael in my life didn't influence my decisions, since Kerry is his sister and Mia is his mom. He's a good big brother and she loves him. That fact mattered in the choices I have made. But Kerry is my daughter. No, it is not to the same extent as Michael is my son, because he is blood related. But I'm her dad and I want her to remain in my life. I just felt I needed to legally set the record straight and open avenues to opportunities we never got. On the surface, it seems like pointless legal actions to get right back where I stood. My marriage was a lie, the relationship I had with Mia was a charade, most likely from day one. What I deserve is a do-over, a chance to pick a different woman to love, in the hopes she might be faithful and loyal. But I can never have that. I can never know what might have been, even if anything I could have done would have been better than marrying a disloyal harlot. The kids won't learn the details of their mother's promiscuity and betrayal for many years. But I want them, particularly Kerry, to eventually know my struggle to keep it together and protect them. I want her to understand that as much as I despise her mother, that I gave myself the option to choose or not choose her as my daughter. I chose Kerry. When the judge asks that poor innocent little girl if she wants me to be her daddy again, I want her to say yes, without a thought. Only years from now will she grasp that she truly chose me to be her dad, she had options too. We were thrown together and had no say in the matter. But I'm doing everything I legally can to adopt her as my own flesh and blood, even if she's not. One day when she's an adult and realizes I gave her the chance to be free of me and she didn't take it, I want her to smile. I want her to know I didn't have to be her dad, I chose to be her dad. In a way that makes our bond stronger than blood. There are a few people I'm related to I'd rather not be, but I didn't get a say in that matter. Kerry and I chose each other when we both could have bailed. She knows I love her, and always will. It's been hard to function, just taking one day at a time to get through the hell that has become my life. It's draining. But I have also pondered on how I want the kids to perceive all of this, years after the fact, when they are adults. When they learn of their mother's activities, how I caught her, and what I uncovered, I want them to be revolted. When Kerry understands I didn't know one penny toward continuing to raise her but did it anyway, I want her to feel grateful. When she understands that her mom put us both in an impossible situation, but we made it through together, I want her to be happy we made it. When they both realize their stability could have been totally destroyed due to their mom, but I held it all together for the three of us, I want them to understand at least part of my sacrifice. There won't be any revisionist lies being told 10 or 20 years from now. I know their mother is a selfish excuse for a human being. One day, they will know that truth too, and I hope they both shun her from their lives for what she did. But that will be for them to determine when truth is revealed. All I can do is remove Mia from my life in every way possible and keep living. What happens to her is of no concern to me. The kids are all that matter now. Quite a few people messaged me asking how I handled Mia telling the kids we could never get back together, because I could never love her again. The very next day after school, I took them both out for ice cream at a local park. Michael seemed resigned to the fact that I don't love their mom but didn't like it. Carrie didn't like hearing that I don't love her mom, and me telling her that her mom doesn't really love me didn't help. There was a lot of crying and confusion on their part. I was sure to tell them without a doubt that their mom genuinely does love them, and I love them more than anything in this world. But they needed to hear the truth and face a reality none of us asked for. I told them I know they both love me and love their mom. That was really all that was important. Carrie asked me why I don't love her mother. I wanted to be as honest as I could be with her. But I didn't think there was any age-appropriate way to tell her that her mother is a bat-shit-crazy parasite. Telling her that her mom lied to me and hurt me was all I could come up with. She hugged me to try and console me. It nearly broke my heart, considering she had things to be consoled over she didn't know about yet. Michael asked me what was going to happen concerning the divorce. I told them that they would live with me, and I'd look after them in their home during the week. I explained to court would figure out what weekends they would stay at their grandparents' house with their mom. I promised them their mother and I would keep our arguing between us from that point forward. I explained she and I had a long talk the night before, after they got home. Carrie said she wanted her mother to stay with us. It hurt me to tell her that was never happening ever again, under any circumstances. But she had to be told. She said her mommy had said she wanted to come back and stay with us. I looked her straight in the eye and told her, I have. No doubt their mom would like to keep staying with us. I told them both that it was impossible for me to explain at that time, but their mother had betrayed all three of us. I said they weren't old enough to understand at that moment. But I promised one day I would tell them exactly, why I felt their mom didn't deserve to live with us anymore. Carrie seemed to accept that more than Michael, oddly. He began to ask how old he had to be to know what his mom did. He didn't like it when I told him it had nothing to do with age, but instead a maturity level. He said it was a cop out. I didn't argue with him. I said I wanted them to love their mom and treat her with respect because, as far as they know, she has done nothing wrong to them. They will know someday. I will leave letters to them in my will if I have to, just in case Rebecca is tickling some ex-con who is willing to get to me. Barring that, I will tell them myself when they are old enough, knowing it will negatively influence their opinion of her. I have a feeling they will soon see a version of their mother that will do much of that for me. One day they will know what she did to all of us, but we stuck together and made a decent life for her three biggest victims. I'm not capable of faking it in front of them and acting like their mom means anything to me. Their mother is completely repulsive, in all ways. If she passes, I would not shed one tear for her vile soul as she splits hell wide open. She deserves it. I hate her for what she has done to me and the children. I hate her for what she has allowed herself to become. I hate her for the stress and tears she has brought to our extended families. She deserves no forgiveness, chances, and least of all compassion. I don't consider her injuries in the wreck karma, just pain and suffering she deserves. True karma would have figured out a way to not ruin my car and would have done a lot worse than the injuries she got. I heard through the kids that their mommy was having pins removed from her shoulder the next day. I didn't tell them I hoped they used a strong electromagnet to do it, but it was hard not to. A few weeks after our talk, the kids came home from their grandparents house with a letter via my son. It was sealed in an envelope with my name on the front. I couldn't throw it away in front of the kids, so I just placed it on the counter with a junk mail. After I got the kids to bed, I passed by the letter and decided to read it. Mia started out apologizing to me for hurting me. She claimed she never meant to let things get that far, forgot who she was, and wanted to be. She apologized for hurting the kids. As much as I despise her, I had to give her credit. If she had stopped there, I might have given her a bit of respect. Then she wrote that she still loved me with all her heart, always has, and always will. I needed the laugh, I really did, because I knew she actually believed the BS she wrote. That's what made it so funny. But when I kept reading, she claimed that's why she didn't want to develop feelings for any other guy, because her heart belonged to me. I wanted to laugh, couldn't. She couldn't give her body to others if she loved me. She couldn't have done something so hurtful if she loved me. She said giving only her body to other men allowed her to know what it was like to be young and free of responsibility and commitments, since she never got to experience that. So, since she never had any emotional bond with any of the men, her heart only and always belonged to me. In other words, her affairs were strictly physical. She meant that in a positive way that only the sickest pervert could rationalize. By essentially ghosting Mia, it shielded me from more of her lunacy. I felt I needed to do that for my own sanity. Yet I have also shielded myself from understanding the depths of her depravity and mind and body. I've thought thousands of times since D-Day that I never knew her. What she chose to write to me, let me know she never knew me. She wasn't even trying to piss me off, I could tell by the way she wrote it. Her words were essentially telling me her actions were the lesser of two evils. To her, the lack of emotions toward other men saved her heart for me. That was essentially her rationale. I understand knowing your significant other is having a strictly emotional affair as soul-crushing. But no one ever got STDs from an emotional affair. No one ever punched an emotional affair partner through a cell phone or computer. And no one ever conceived a child over phone calls, emails, and texts for another man to raise. I can say with 100% certainty I would have rather she had thousands of emotional affairs and kept anything from ever becoming physical. The fact she doesn't grasp that about me screams, I never knew you. She chose the worse of two evils in my eyes and never knew me well enough to know that. I have read many of the posts written by others here. I have yet to read that anyone's so said, things never got emotional. That's essentially what she's claiming. Yet she doesn't grasp she's admitting to living the last six years of her life as little more than an unevolved, hedonistic, rutting worm. That's how unintelligent animals behave, unable to control their primal urges and behavior. She understood her acts were wrong and yet felt somewhat validated for what she did and the way she did it. Until that letter, I'd had little insight into how she perceived things she did eagerly, with no conscience. The depths of depravity she not only condoned but welcomed, removed every ounce of attraction I have for her. I'll forever have mind movies in my head because of her. They were bad after only catching her with that random guy. They got worse after she admitted to cheating with enough men to fully staff an aircraft carrier. But when the pie showed me some of the recovered texts, pictures, and videos from her old phone, it broke something in my psyche. It's like I was married to p-hub for six years. Anyone that finds out their significant other had a one night stand, I sympathize with you so much. People that learned their so was having an affair with someone, my heart truly breaks for you. But I can't put into words what it's like to know the love of your life was being defiled like the sleazyest one of ancient Rome and enjoying it. I cannot picture Mia and my mind now without imagining her face in a specific way that disgusts me that much, and that is how debased I will view her forever. No amount of emotional bonding with someone else was ever going to make me think that horribly of her. Unworthy in an instant, she turned into a six-year time bomb. The motion to adopt Carrie was the second or third biggest thing Mia had to worry about the day I filed paperwork. At noon, a sheriff's deputy showed up at her parents' house to serve her with the divorce papers. At 10 minutes past noon, another deputy showed up to serve her with paperwork, due to the civil suit I filed against her. The calls and texts from her parents' phones went unanswered and unread. Calls to my lawyer were met with urging to get her own legal counsel to get the ball rolling. That wasn't what she wanted to hear. I'm told she screamed and yelled at several staff members that day. Nadia eventually told her that the divorce would proceed, like it or not. Any further harassment to her or her staff would be severely dealt with. I kind of wish Mia had kept pushing. Orange was never her color, but what she's done should truly be criminal. It was over a week later that a lawyer representing her phone Nadia, and they had their first discussion. He asked if we were serious about the civil suit, to try and recover expenses incurred raising a child that isn't mine. Nadia assured him we were going to try and recover every cent incurred due to paternity fraud. She negated to tell him none of it is about money. Even if I win, the odds are high I will see little or none of what any court awards. But if I win, it will be money coming out of any and every paycheck going to me until paid in full. It would be a costly reminder and punishment for what she's done. And even if I lose, she has to pay a lawyer to represent her, and that's more expenses she can't afford. He said he understood the vast majority of assets, including the family home, were mine long before we married. But he urged that we couldn't honestly expect to get custody of both kids, have her pay child support, and for her to live with no spousal support after a severe accident. Nadia told him his client had been unfaithful in the marriage long before the wreck and that she picked a bad time to get caught. She informed him our goal was to make it as painful for Mia as possible. Her car was the only item of any value in her name, which was in her possession, and she could keep it. Mia was allowed to keep her retirement savings as her own, because my portfolio dwarfed hers. She wouldn't have even had that 401k without my urging she put in the maximum allowed each pay period. She never had to contribute to any utilities. Buying her own car and paying her own insurance was her only expense. The rest of her money was her own. Now she gets to live on it. I know she's already feeling the financial pinch, and it's just going to get worse for her. If I win the civil suit, Starbucks sales will plummet. But it has to be done. I just don't think she ever expected I'd go to the lengths I am. As far as cars go, I drove her car around for a few months after my car was wrecked. Being the only thing of value that she owned, adding mileage to the car was satisfying even if it was petty. But I bought a beautiful new SUV and got my buddy to follow me and it as I drove me as car to her parents. I left the key in the mailbox with no idea when she'd be able to drive again. Given her past, I was sure she'd be on the hunt for vitamin D as soon as she was able. I hope living with her mom and dad was making her feel young and free of responsibility. However, having random men come over for a pajama party at her parents' house is just tacky. She would eventually need some place classy to offer her sugar walls to strangers, like a 2020 Acura. I thought about donating her car to the local community college criminal justice department. Those candidates would be experts on the use of Luminal by the time they became actual police. As warped as it sounds, the most satisfying thing about dropping that car off was the spare tire. It doesn't have one, never did. That was a major point I gave her when she asked my opinion about purchasing the car. I remember her saying all sweet and cute, that she had me to call if she ever got a flat. It was all I could do not to leave a note under the trunk mat saying something like, bet you wish you had a spare now. But I'm sure eventually she'll get the message, all on her own. A few days after the lawyers spoke on the phone, they met in person to discuss things. Her side wanted a meeting to discuss Carrie's situation. Even if I didn't want to, I didn't want her putting up walls to prevent me from adopting Carrie. I agreed for our daughter's sake, and we met them at Nadia's firm. I was seated in the main conference room, when Nadia walked in with opposing counsel and Mia. I had never truly understood what people met when they said someone looked road hard and put away wet, until that moment. She looked horrible. For quite a few minutes, I thought my eyes were just deceiving me with some sort of blood rage-hatred hallucination toward her. It wasn't until Nadia gave me a side I glanced due to my ex's appearance, that I finally knew I wasn't tripping. She'd lost weight to the point that the sides of her face were ever so, slightly concave. She'd never been fat and shed the baby weight both times with ease. She looked like she had an appointment to get her mug shot taken in Florida. She'd cut her hair. It wasn't quite a Karen cut, but it was Karen-esque. It looked like it hadn't been washed since the wreck. I'm not sure what she could have worn that would have been flattering. But I swear, I made sure she got all her clothes back. So, nobody could blame me for that ensemble. The two lawyers discussed some things back and forth to start the meeting. I could feel Mia's eyes on me, but I didn't want to look in that direction. I wanted to convey hatred and scorn if I looked at her. When I finally glanced her way, I wondered where the beautiful girl I once knew had gone. Bullet dodged. From beautiful to bag lady in six months. Now I'm just somebody that she used to know. Thankfully we began discussing Carrie, to take my mind off of how rough she looked. They asked if there had been any attempt to find Carrie's biological father yet. I told them, nothing pertaining to that was going to take place until the divorce and custody issues are totally finalized. I then asked if she'd remembered any names that might lead us to baby daddy number two. I felt trashy just saying it, and she didn't like hearing it, but truth is truth. She said no names from that time and her life came to mind. I asked if she had any plans to block me from legally adopting Carrie. She insisted she wished I never had my name removed in the first place, she certainly wasn't going to try and keep me from putting it back. That was all I needed to know. Have a nice day, drive safely. Or not. Before I could stand up to try and urge the meeting to end, Mia asked me. Could you have forgiven me, and taken me back as your wife after my first mistake? If I confessed to it and swore on my life to never stray again. She got me. It's a question I knew she had asked herself over and over since the first night she strayed. It's a question she knew the answer to, and so did I and that was the sticking point. Just asking the question was her way of making a statement. She knew, giving her body to anyone else in my eyes was an act that would cause me to remove her from my life as instantly and permanently as possible. We had discussed many times how we would both treat being cheated on. I'd told her if I ever found out she'd cheated, I wouldn't listen to another word she ever said. The time to talk was before infidelity, everything after is just noise, excuses and hot air. After several minutes of silence, I reluctantly told her she already knew I would not have given her a second chance. Then I asked her if I'd had an affair baby with a random hook up and brought it home six years later if she'd look after it. It got ugly from there. She said, You're doing everything in your power to hurt me now. I didn't deny it. You're not my parent and you don't get to punish me for being bad. She was talking in reference to the civil suit. I made sure she understood the divorce was to punish her. The civil suit was hopefully literal payback I was owed. She said, You're willing to destroy the lives of the kids in order to get to me and destroy me. I told her she looked like she'd been smoking meth, but after that accusation, I had proof. She started to cry and tell me she loves me, I just rolled my eyes. Because her tears now garner no sympathy for me and only make me want to treat her even crueler. I promised her the kids would always be well fed and well dressed, but made sure she understood I didn't care if she starved or had to wear sackcloth. At one point in my life, I would have done anything and given anything to make her happy. I asked her if my all wasn't good enough for her to be faithful. What more I could have done for her to not betray me. She said, I betrayed myself. I yelled that she betrayed Carrie. I told her she betrayed everyone in her life. The lawyers calmed things down and Nadia shared a proposed temporary visitation agreement with them. Knowing which weeks she will have them, will allow her to schedule doctor appointments better. I warned her that while it is none of my business what she does, nor do I care, not to have any strange men around the kids. She said she hadn't been with anyone. She didn't like me pointing out she'd told me that once or twice before. But she promised if that time came, she would shield the kids from all of it. So I asked her if anyone other than Rebecca knew she had been unfaithful to me. She said she admitted only the kissing to her sister after the first incident. Her sister freaked and cursed her the hell out for five straight minutes. Mia knew she could never tell her sister how far she actually went. But no one but Rebecca knew about all the hookups. She asked if there was any chance of us getting counseling to see if things could work out between us. I asked her why I would want a marriage with a dead bedroom. She pointed out we never had a dead bedroom. I explained it was sure as hell dead now because I'd never touch her again with a body count higher than COVID. Mia asked if I hate her. I'm not sure if that was a yes or no question. But, with every fiber of my being, we'll have to suffice. So, there's that. And that's essentially where we are. Just waiting for the divorce case to go before a judge. The civil case can't even go on a docket list until the divorce trial ends. The kids are doing well, given the circumstances. They get to see both sets of grandparents more. If there is any positive in this mess, there is that. And yes, I know I have to let go of the hate. I am seeing a therapist. But it took me quite a while to find one I like. Even she acknowledges I have a lot of legitimate reasons to hate Mia. I'm not the kind to seek validation, but knowing my hate isn't irrational helps quite a bit. I know it isn't good for me. My new therapist is helping me vent and try to let go. I'm not very good at meditation, but it's new to me. My first therapist was okay for about four sessions. The first session is always essentially introductions, no matter how much you share on the paperwork. She seemed very positive at first. Sympathetic yet encouraging. She assured me I was doing better than most at being a good dad, which was nice to hear. But when we started talking about issues in the past before the cheating started, her tone changed. It's not a direct quote, but she kind of insinuated, that sometimes we do things that hurt or irritate our partner, but they say nothing. If those issues fester for weeks, months, or years, it's like a powder keg that we help create. No, she didn't have a Belgian accent. But I do have enough pride and common sense to know that despite any and all my faults and mistakes, no part of me deserved what Mia did. Nothing I had ever done to her made even 1% of what she did to me righteous actions. So, I got a new shrink. I tried a few therapy sessions with a guy. He could understand the feelings of emasculation and mind movies. He could grasp how it's all overwhelming. I just didn't feel comfortable with him. Thank God I'm pretty much all cried out. But if I have to talk about some emotional stuff, I don't want to cry in front of a guy. Guys are for drinking, playing sports with, and fighting. We don't discuss why Gary's wife is emotionally unavailable to him and doesn't understand his love language. This guy doesn't anyway. Part of me wanted to give him more of a chance. But I didn't see us developing any rapport. If it makes me sexist, so be it. I just feel more comfortable in confiding in a woman. That's my preference, and I finally got a good shrink. She was the only daughter in her family with three brothers which takes care of, having some understanding of men. Her specialty is coping with infidelity and grief counseling. When I told her about the events that led me there, she used half of a box of tissues. She said she's amazed I'm doing as well as I am. Still not sure if that was meant as encouragement, or genuine shock I'm not institutionalized. I'll call my therapist Sarah for the purpose of this post. But she's helped me quite a bit just by listening. She says I am difficult to read, and that my outward appearance doesn't match my friendly personality. She noted that I use humor to diffuse tense situations and disarm people. I told her it ruins the fun if she calls me out on my BS beforehand. But she is figuring me out. She says I have to figure me out now. She was adamant she was there to help. But rebuilding my life and myself, it's going to take effort by me. I can't just pay someone else to do the work for me. I'm going to have to take stock and see how genuinely damaged I am, repair what I can, amputate what I can't. It's going to hurt, even more than I've already hurt. But I have to come to peace with all I've lost because it's not coming back. The kids see their own shrink, 40 minutes with each and then 40 minutes with the three of us, twice a week. They've been doing great. The therapy is allowing them to come to terms with the inevitable. I was a little concerned how family therapy was going to go due to how I feel about their mom. I've been silent in sessions when they have expressed missing their mom or wishing we were all still together. I thought about showing them on the doll where Mia hurt me, but dolls don't have a soul. Sometimes I don't feel like I have one anymore either. I have gone out of my way to try to be sociable and lean on friends. But given what I have ahead of me, small talk feels too trivial. I know friends are tired of me venting, I would be. I've tried to not go on a rant, but the betrayal still eats at me. It's still always at the back of my mind. Then of course if we go out for drinks, they are pointing out this girl or that girl. Like I know they are conventionally pretty, but I have no interest in getting to know them. And unlike my wife, the hygiene issues alone would prevent me from doing any hook-up activity even if given the chance. Rest assured, none of these young ladies has left any of the establishments crying because they couldn't be with me. The lack of interest was totally mutual, nobody loses. But this hasn't just affected the way I look at women, it's changed the way I've looked at people. I feel like I'm second guessing everyone's identity and sincerity. Before all of this, Mia was someone I truly admired. It makes me question the other people in my life, both male and female, that I've admired over the years. She hasn't made me a misogynist, she's turned me into a misanthropist. Despite any shame or guilt she feels for what she's done, I know carnal activity again with the next guy will be easy for her. She'll start eating better, gain some weight, and guys will be hitting her up in no time. My point is she'll move on sexually with ease. I can't do that. I won't do that. I already feel filthy inside and out knowing all the fluids and stink from other men she subjected me to. I feel she's defiled me because I've been with her, I feel tainted. She didn't just destroy any desire for her, she's killed any desire I have for intimacy at all. As odd as it sounds, Mia was it for me. She was beautiful, I didn't have a need to look at other women. And I thought what we had was special. Beauty just doesn't even register with me anymore. My mind knows better, but my subconscious thinks all women are like Mia and Rebecca. And that's my struggle, fair or not. I had someone send me a very supportive message of encouragement. Then they said they almost envied me as a soon-to-be single guy who is financially secure. He said I'd have no problems meeting women and would be perceived as high value. I thanked him for the support without conveying something that he would look forward to, would be a source of anxiety for me. I know people hook up left and right, all day every day and everywhere. That is between them and the people they hook up with. Not my thing, but more power to them. I wouldn't want a stranger, even a very attractive stranger, touching me. I'm a personal space kind of person. I cannot fathom meeting a stranger at a bar or on an app and interacting with them very little before getting physical. Knowing humans often then agree to go off somewhere, remove their clothes, and have sexy time and see no issue with it amazes me. Obviously, in a world with tender and dating sites, my stance is the oddity. I'd be contemplating how long it had been since they'd done the very same thing with someone else. The vast majority of people are accepting of the hook-up lifestyle. Mia's hook-up numbers wouldn't be all that abnormal, for the typical single woman these days. And I think most guys would behave that way if they could. I couldn't and wouldn't. Plus, obviously, never wanted to be with someone who ever has. Part of me feels Mia wasn't forthcoming about her infidelity, just despite me for what she knew would be my stance. When I said it felt like she was making a statement, that's the statement it felt like she was making. If I wouldn't even consider a second chance, she was going to do exactly what would hurt and discuss me most. The crap test to end all crap tests, then getting revenge on me without me ever knowing I was being tested. Once the bond we had was broken, we could never have that again with each other or anyone else. It was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, because we are each only granted one life. The continued cheating was what has killed me. If she'd just admitted to what she'd done and we'd divorced, I, might, I just might have been able to pick up the pieces and eventually give someone else a chance. It's like she wanted to destroy me so there would be no way in hell I'd ever want to be with anyone again just because she couldn't have me back. Diabolical. And I don't care how many showers were taken and protection was used, some foreign DNA made its way back to me. I hope she grows a mushroom. When Mia and I had only had sexy time with each other, every action was a pure and beautiful act. Her first act of infidelity destroyed all that had been or ever could be, in an instant. Anyone outside a relationship physically engaging with either partner defiles and poisons the relationship forever in a nanosecond. It's like the relationship is a tall glass of cold milk. The second her lips touched the lips of another man, that was like placing one drop of India ink into the milk. It's just one drop, it's still mostly milk. Pay no attention to the rapid discoloration, it probably tastes the same, just go with it right? But instead of telling me about the one drop of ink, she let me drink the milk. Not only did she keep letting me drink the inky milk, she kept adding ink. Some people are like a glass of milk with one drop of ink. Mia is now a glass of ink, with one drop of milk. She's had no morals whatsoever. The night she was conceived, I wish someone had run up and slapped her dad's jingle so hard he would get an error. The world would be a better place. The things most people get a rush from pertaining to new relationships cause me massive anxiety. I remember getting butterflies with Mia. The feeling made me nauseous. I even had to get used to someone as pretty as Mia whom I liked, invading my personal space. It's not a self-esteem thing. She and I were both out going around each other but introverted by nature. Figuring out how to really kiss, feeling that closeness for the first time, I had to ease into it. Everyone thinks all teens, are hormonal horn dogs, but she and I actually weren't. We very slowly progress things physically as we learned and grew more comfortable. I was taught that was the way it was supposed to be. That's what I wanted. That's what she swore to me she wanted as well. The thought of trying to be intimate with someone new, just makes me cringe. But of course, now the thought of Mia is like the antidote to Viagra. It's all too much. I find myself ashamed more every day to be part of the human species. My life wasn't supposed to go this way. We had so many beautiful moments awaiting us as a family but, memories are destroyed, and those moments will never be. At the end of the day, I loved Cary, but I had to let her go because our relationship was forced upon us from day one, against our will. By adopting her I'm telling her I've given the chance, because I have given myself the chance. I'll choose her as my daughter all over again. When the judge asks her if she wants me to adopt her, it will be her with all that love for me returning. Full circle. Things set right, or as right as they can be. I can never be her father. That title, belongs to some guy walking around not knowing he has a 6 year old daughter. But I'm the only dad she will ever know. Protector and provider, long after any legal obligation would have lasted. I've done what I had to do to keep my sanity, even when others questioned my actions or accused me of being cruel. I've done what I thought was needed, to allow Mia's two biggest victims to stake their claim to what was never truly theirs. I've made mistakes how I've handled things. I won't know there were mistakes until much further down the road. But I've done my best. I will try to do another update when I can once more issues are finalized. I apologize for the rant and lapse between updates, for when I say some harsh things, and for the length of this all. I will try to do better as I and the kids press forward, together. Peace and thanks to all. You sir, are by far one of the strongest men I know of, you deserve a loving and loyal woman, who will complete you and I know one day in the future you will find her. Hope to see more updates from you in this journey. For you are inspiration to many. I'm no stronger than the next human, but thank you. I'm learning as I go. If one word I write can help someone going through something similar, it was worth it. I honestly believe all, or at least most people have an inner strength they don't even know about because they have never had to rely on it before. I hope they never do. But when someone is diagnosed with cancer, a loved one passes unexpectedly, they encounter financial ruin, etc. That strength is there to get them through. As far as anyone else in the future goes, it's just not worth it. There was one person I didn't think I could live without, now she's gone and I'm still living. That proves I need no one in my life at the end of the day. Any benefit a woman could bring to my life, is dwarfed by the potential chaos she could also bring. Vegas would call that a sucker's bet, and I'm not playing with house money anymore. I cried a little reading this, you seem like a really great guy and dad. Wish you the best of luck. I'm a good dad. The hardest thing to do since D-Day has been not to shower them with Amazon love. I could buy them so much stuff. But I want to spoil them with my time and attention. Yes, I have gotten them brand new outfits for the entire weekend, every weekend they went to their moms. But that was to make her feel bad she can't get new clothes and show her the kids are doing great with me and without her. I haven't bought Kari a pony, but if she ever asked I'd be rationalizing it for her in my head. They are both active and not really materialistic. That puts me at a huge advantage post-wreck with them. I didn't mean to make you cry. I appreciate the well wishes. How you feel today doesn't have to be how you feel tomorrow. It has been just six months since you experienced a trauma that is bigger and worse than any trauma you have experienced before. I would be honestly surprised and shocked if you would already now be thinking about future relationships or having sex with someone. I understand where your thoughts are coming from, but I want to urge you to always take into consideration that you can't think that you will ever be interested in being romantically involved with someone again right now. That is okay and probably even for the better, but how you think about that in a year from now or two years from now might be different. So be kind to yourself and take all the time you need. You can and will do this. Regarding Mia, there are two things that I want to tell you. I bet that the way she looked at the meeting with the lawyers was something she planned. The choice of clothes and how her hair looked was planned in hopes to get a reaction from you, at best that you feel pity for her. She knows you and wants to manipulate you into feeling sorry for her. It was good to read that she didn't get the reaction from you that she wanted. But with that, then comes the next point, hate will cause more hate. At one point, and I think Mia is very, very close to that point, she will accept that you will never take her back or give her another chance. The feelings she has for you, which she defines right now as love, will then change. Due to the civil suit, the way former friends and family members perceive her, the knowledge that the kids will one day find out about what she did and probably also by being in contact with Rebecca, these feelings will turn to hate towards you. The way you are feeling, including the hate, is justified, and that you let it out by making her life as miserable as it is possible for you is okay as well. But you need to prepare yourself for the backfire from her, which will very likely come. Once she realizes that there will be no future with you, and when she despises the situation she is in, in her mind only because of you and your decisions, she will start to shoot back. That is something you should prepare yourself for. She knows you, knows how and where to hurt you, and you even told her clearly how she could hurt you. When you told her to keep her lovers away from the kids, you gave her an opening that she can use to piss you off or to hurt you later on. Be prepared for that to happen. If it never happens, great, then you prepared for nothing. But I have a feeling that rather sooner than later you will get to know a very different Mia, so in all you do, try to think two steps ahead and assume how she might react so that you can be prepared. I like the way you approach the situation with Kerry. One day she will realize what you did there and that you needed that to make a conscious decision for her. Look forward to that day. The letter that she wrote you, if you haven't put it already in the trash, then I would urge you to keep that just in case that in a few years when you tell the kids the whole story, Mia tells them that you are a liar and it was you who was responsible for the destruction of your marriage. The letter is a written confession which you should keep, just in case. Stay on your path and allow yourself to be proud of how you handled everything. That's a very interesting point of view that I had not considered. Thank you again, Crannick. Mia was always so focused on what she wore and how she looked. It confused me to see her looking like a war refugee. So you think that was basically attempted manipulation. She was hoping I had one ounce of positive feelings about her to pray upon. Guess she and her lawyer figured out all of that is gone forever. I was truly shocked she inquired about marriage counseling at all. I mean really shocked. I know it's a ploy to get her meal ticket back, so it won't work. I view MC as trying to bring a corpse back to life. After what Mia did, I'm not even a romancer, sure as hell not a necromancer. She doesn't understand how I can love her one minute and hate her the next. I have control of my emotions, I can turn them off, and I'm not a slave to them. I kept the letter. I gave it to Nadia. The firm is putting a big file together for me, with all the evidence and paperwork for when the divorce is done. When the day comes to reveal Mia's unforgivable acts, I'll be prepared. And I think you're right, I do need to be prepared for some kind of attempted retribution on her part. If she shows up at the house, I will go restraining order on her so fast she won't know what hit her. If she tries to manipulate the kids, I'll go at her legally and via her parents. They aren't happy with her at the moment and love their grandchildren. In an attempt to fulfill my promise to update more often with shorter posts, this will hopefully accomplish both. My apologies if any of my previous posts caused eye strain or an aneurysm. I assure you all that was never my intent. Someone asked in the comments of my previous post about Rebecca and if I've had any interaction with her. Just so no one has to go back and read that response, I will explain where things stand here as well. I have not seen or communicated with Becca at all since that fateful morning. I do not know how prominent she now is in Mia's life. I don't know if they have had any contact, but I would imagine they have. The kids have not mentioned Rebecca at all. What they tell me is the extent of what I know, which isn't a lot. However, a few weeks after all hell broke loose, I confided in an old friend exactly what was going on. I chose the friend I did, because his wife is a notorious gossip. She, too, is a good friend of mine. So, I didn't feel any guilt for using one of her negative traits for my benefit. To those that don't know, Becca owns her own salon that employs nine people besides her, when fully staffed. Since word slowly spread through the friend group, two stylists have left Becca's salon. I cannot know if they left for greener pastures, or as a protest for her role in my marriage failing. But I can hope. When things are finalized, I will be airing her dirty laundry freely and often. If that causes some people to not want to work for her or visit her salon, that's great. But I will have to wait to verify if my actions bring her any misery. One thing of note, is that I ran into Mia's sister in the grocery store. She hugged me and apologized for her sister's stupidity and immorality. I have no doubt many here would have told me to have no contact with her, since she is of the enemy camp. But I have always liked Mandy and her husband Doug. So, I invited them over with their children to enjoy the pool. We, cooked out and Doug looked after the kids and the grill while Mandy and I talked. We made every attempt to not let any of the kids overhear our conversation. Thankfully, they were all distracted by the pool and plenty of good food to let us talk at length. To make a long story short, Mia's family knew she cheated on me with more than one man. But Mia blew smoke up their collective noses when it came to any admissions about body counts. Mandy and her parents were told Mia had a couple of short-term affairs after Michael was born, until she got caught. When she used the term a couple, I asked how many Mandy considered a couple. She replied. Two or three. I went and got the folder containing just text exchanges between Mia and the guys she'd had adventures with for Mandy to view. As she perused through the pages, I explained we were able to verify 47 different guys Mia had engaged in sexy time activity, from since Michael was born. I made sure to explain that those 47 were just the tip of the iceberg, since we knew she had often arranged one night stands via various phone apps, without any trace. Mandy didn't know what to say when she heard Mia's verified body count. She wanted to immediately call her parents to inform them and to curse her sister out. Mia's lack of being forthcoming about the number of men she cheated with, was enough bad news to wrap her head around. Then I put two and two together and realized, nobody in Mia's family had yet been told I am not Carey's father. I'm not sure who was more pissed off about that fact, Mandy, or me. But Doug had to stop grilling to attend to his wife due to the tears she couldn't hold back. She walked around to my side of the picnic table and gave me a hug as she told me repeatedly, she was so deeply sorry. Doug was stunned. He gave me a pat on the back after making sure Mandy was okay, and told me we'd go out for drinks later that week. My soon-to-be ex-wife may be a piece of dog crap. But her family and the people that married into that family seem to be as good as gold. But I will continue being cautious about how much trust I allow. I filled her in on what actually happened that morning and how I came to find out paternity results. She was stunned to say the least. When she told me she wished Becca got hers, I had to ask Mandy's opinion of Becca. Mandy said she never liked Rebecca, even as kids. Mandy is four years older than Mia, Becca, and me. She was a senior when we were freshmen in high school. Mandy said that more than once she caught Becca stealing makeup from her room, but was unapologetic. She said she despised Rebecca, because she'd always been manipulative and loved causing drama for others. She even told me she'd tried to be a big sister role model for Becca, especially after Rebecca's dad divorced her mom. But Mandy said she'd always been an ungrateful person who wouldn't listen to anyone. I asked if she knew Mia actually wanted Becca as her maid of honor initially. She never said yes or no, but the profane stream of consciousness let me know she was unaware. I filled her in on things Mia had told me via letter and in the company of attorneys. She was as shocked over Mia's reasoning as much as anyone. She stated their parents hadn't raised them to be like that. She said her sister had declared she never wanted to be with anyone but me long before high school. I'm not sure if that means Mia was deceiving herself from a young age or if feelings changed. I just know humans cannot truly love someone and offer their body freely to others. Either the love was never real, or it had died long before I knew it. Mia has made the claim that her heart now and has always belonged to me. I now know that was pure lies, and I wonder if she was even capable of love. Not that it matters now of course. If her heart truly belonged to me, I'd be selling it for transplant to the highest bitter, even though I know it's defective. After lunch, the kids kept playing so I got to talk with Doug and Mandy at length. She filled him in while I went and got ice cream for the kids and serve them. When I got back, I could see tears in Doug's eyes, and he gave me a long brotherly hug before I sat back down. He asked about the guy I caught Mia with what the aftermath was there. All I could tell him was when I left the guy was unconscious, and his lower eyelid on the left side looked like it belonged to a hound dog due to sagging. No authorities ever contacted me. So, I knew his friend never took him to there. But I knew enough to know his orbital bone fracture would require surgery and I never got the bill. Doug said I should have done more. I told him if Mia and Becca hadn't jumped on my back to weigh me down, I probably would have. But I'm glad I didn't. I was consumed by rage. I'm glad I got out of it. Doug asked if anyone had any idea who Carrie's father actually is. I explained that Mia had fooled around with far too many guys to know. But I told him the search will go into high gear, once all divorce and civil proceedings have been completed. They were both glad to know Mia will get owned in the divorce. They were both glad to know that therapy for all three of us had helped tremendously. When I told them I was anxious for Mia to start working again so she could pay child support and whatever civil fine she ended up owing, they laughed. Doug said if paternity fraud was a crime, Mia would get the highest penalty. I told him Mia may as well have committed maternity fraud, because any woman that could do what she did was no mother at all. About an hour after they left, my phone started blowing up with calls and texts. The caller ID let me know Mia's mom and dad were both reaching out, as well as calls and texts from numbers with no ID. Then Mandy called and I answered. I could hear her, but there was a lot of screaming and yelling in. The background. She stepped outside away from the noise to tell me she'd filled her parents in, on all of the truth. Her dad was busy throwing Mia's belongings into her car. Her mom cried and told her what a disappointment she'd become and how ashamed they are to have raised her to be a woman with questionable virtues. Call me old fashioned. But when your mother calls you a skank, it's pretty safe to say you stayed on the train to the village of immorality 1, 2, or even 47 too many stops. I could hear Mia crying and pleading that she had no place to go. Instead of gloating that she was getting some of what was coming to her, I thought of the kids. I have no issue with Carrie and Michael staying at their grandparents' house. But anywhere else I could think where Mia might go, there was no way in hell I was going to allow them to stay with her. If she went to Rebecca's, there was no damn way I'd allow them to be anywhere around that bimbo beautician. Even if she somehow managed to secure a hotel room with her limited earnings, I didn't trust her not to have some random guy stay over. I was happy her family knew some of the truth. But I knew that doing so was going to cause visitation issues. Yet if she didn't find a stable and safe place to stay, I knew the court wouldn't allow any form of unsupervised visitation. Getting to see her kids with supervision for an hour or two every other weekend was going to hurt. But it was a grave she dug for herself with lies. If it meant a homeless shelter or the actual gutter itself, I didn't and still don't care. Mandy and I were still on the phone when I heard Mia come outside and ask if it was me on the phone. Mandy asked what I wanted her to tell Mia. I probably shouldn't have said the truth because Mia snatched Mandy's phone and began to hysterically plead with me. She asked why I was so intent on destroying her life. I simply replied because she'd destroyed mine. She urged that I could have my life back if I just forgive her. I told her that life was over and never actually existed due to her lies. Again, she lied and swore she loved me. I told her in a not so eloquent way that the only thing she loved in this life was herself and sucks. She insisted none of them meant anything to her. I told Mia they all meant more to her than me or her family's security, or she wouldn't have risked it all over and over. She asked why I had ratted her out to her sister and parents. I asked why she hadn't been honest with them about everything, especially about me not being Carrie's father. She cursed at me and said I am her father. I cursed back and told her I'm Carrie's dad and always will be. But she should have at the very least told her family the truth. She said that her parents were disowning her and kicking her out. I told her I'd heard, I was happy to hear, and I was going to do everything in my power to make things worse. She said she loves me and asked how I could be so cruel to someone that loves me. I told her she should have been asking herself that question six years ago. I told her I knew she felt regret, simply because she was losing everything and now people are hearing the truth. But I explained what she did makes her worthy of being shunned as well as spoken ill of and toward. What she was experiencing from her family is what she in fact deserves. That was it. Three days later, Nadia called and said Mia's attorney called to try and set up another time to meet together. We set that meeting up for last Friday at Nadia's office. Needless to say, I didn't want to see her talk to her. But I knew being essentially homeless would have implications on judicial custody decisions. As soon as we sat down together, her lawyer informed me that Mia had been living in her car since her parents kicked her out. I asked why she didn't stay at Rebecca's since that rotten apple helped get her into her situation. Mia didn't respond. Instead, Mia asked if there was any way I'd let her come home or if we could do marriage counseling. I told her she needed to ask her parents if she could come home. The house where the children and I lived was off limits and she and Becca were to stay far away. As far as marriage counseling went, she was free to try it with whomever was stupid enough to marry her next. But I was certain she could never be faithful to anyone after what happened. Her lawyer objected to my language and the harshness of my words. I told him he was a money-grubbing fart, just for representing her and asked if she was paying her legal bills via only fans. Nadia put her hand on my shoulder to calm things down, and asked if we could all be more civil. I asked to take a break because I'd already loaded my next verbal salvo, and I needed to let off some steam. We took a 20-minute break, and I went out to my car just to get away from everyone. I saw Mia's car and thought about riding home sweet home with my key on the hood. But I knew I couldn't, and I was already dealing with enough lawyers. I could see fast food garbage on the passenger side and piles of clothes in the back seat. Living the nightmare. That's what she'd done to her life and mine. I'm trying with the help of a professional to let go of the hate. But I saw no reason to treat her with one molecule of respect or decency. Everything about her was indecent, and she doesn't even respect herself enough. At any rate, Nadia urged me to try and keep my answers to the yes or no variety if possible. I agreed to try, but explained there was only so much of my ex's lies and excuses I could listen to. She assured me she'd try to get us through the meeting as quickly as possible. When we sat back down, I just glared at Mia and her lawyer to let them know I meant business, without saying a word. Nadia started the meeting back up by asking Mia if, she'd sought out or received any therapy for herself. She claimed she didn't have the time while dealing with physical therapy, nor did she have the money as her insurance wouldn't cover therapy. Nadia asked if we paid for it if Mia would attend a few therapy sessions by herself. My head turned toward Nadia so fast when she asked that, I thought I'd get whiplash. But she kicked me under the table to let me know she had everything under control. Her lawyer immediately said Mia would only see a therapist of her choosing, regardless of who paid for it. Nadia indicated that was fine, but that some therapy might help her process her emotions to be a better mother in the future. I still thought Nadia had lost her mind proposing such a thing, but let her keep talking. Her counsel insisted they would talk about it and give us an answer in the future. My lawyer stated that in spite of being opposing counsel, as a woman she wanted to ensure that any women involved in cases she was working on, got the help they need. I won't lie. The way she said it was so convincing I seriously thought my own legal representative had turned on me. Mia asked if we could do counseling as a family unit. That time I pushed Nadia under the table to tell her there was no way I'd agree to that. Nadia kicked me back before telling them. If Mia went to several sessions and the therapist thought it would be beneficial, we might. I knew Nadia had a reason to be proposing what she did. Just wish she'd filled me in ahead of time. I knew I'd learn what the goal of her tactics were later, but I was perplexed until the meeting was over. I asked Mia if what she was now going through was worth all the cheap, meaningless adventures with strangers. I seriously wanted to know if being able to do what she did for years, was worth losing at all? I pointed out she had to enjoy what she was doing, or she wouldn't have kept doing it. I really wanted to know if those experiences were worth losing a loving husband and custody of her children. She began to weep what looked like sincere tears before telling me. No. I asked if she felt any actual shame. I knew she felt tons of regret. If for nothing else, for getting caught. But I wanted to know if she felt a shame for people to eventually know every deviant detail of her tawdry escapades. She claimed she very much did, especially now that her family knew. I asked if she really thought she could hide the truth from her family forever? She said she hoped to keep it all from getting out, at least until she started back to work and got a place of her own. But she knew it would come out eventually. She apologized for hurting me, and claimed she never ever wanted to do that. I told her she didn't hurt me, she destroyed me. I told her every single day, all day long I feel pain. It's in my soul, but I can feel it in my joints, my muscles. But Advil brings no relief. My heart is so broken that when she poisoned my soul, it seeped into my appendages. On a good day I feel numb. On a bad day, the tension fills my body. Depression causes physical aching sometimes, and some days I wake up feeling sore for no reason. She cried, hearing me express the pain her actions were making me endure. I told her to tell me what I ever did to justify her betraying me so thoroughly and cruelly. She just cried harder. I asked her what she thought she deserved for me in life after the things she'd done. Not what she wanted, what she thought should happen to someone who literally messed up her life. She began to bawl. I was sick of the tears and lack of answers. I was done. The meeting ended with Mia's lawyer trying to get her out of the office, as she repeatedly asked me to forgive her. I kept telling her to go home and drive her home somewhere else, because we were done talking. When they finally got off the premises, I made Nadia explain why she'd proposed I pay for Mia too. See a shrink. She explained doing so would be seen as a favorable act by the court. But Mia was clearly unstable and not coping with life very well. If a professional recommended or insisted she needed to be hospitalized for her own good, well, say LaVie. In a distraught state, it is very easy to get yourself institutionalized at least overnight. Allowing her to see a professional might get her some help, but it also might help us when they see how frazzled she's become. She deceived me for more than six years about my entire life. I feel no guilt in not revealing my true intentions of why I actually want her to see a shrink. If she thinks family therapy is a possibility to get her to go, so be it. Mia is good at digging her own grave. I hope that continues. Yes, I realized this was by no means a short update. But it was as condensed as I could make it. The kids are both doing well. Michael is playing baseball as a pitcher since he's the tallest on his team. He does well from the mound and plate, even with the larger strike zone. I'm taking him, along with Doug and his two sons, to see the socks play the Tigers next week. Miss Carrie is as beautiful and sweet as ever. She loves the pool and it's been great having friends over with their kids to enjoy it. I want to raise two kids that are too busy with life to have their noses pressed against a phone. That may warp them to the point they feel out of place in society. But they'll be my warped kids. Thanks to all for the kind words and support. Every day seems like it brings a new challenge. But knowing I have so many who have my back means more than words can express. Before I wrap it up, I want to share an important side note. A few people got the idea that Mandy and her parents knew Mia had cheated on me before I knew. I told her parents about catching her cheating the same morning I told my parents. They knew nothing of her activities before I told them. I did not find out until later that Mia had cheated with multiple men, one of which is Carrie's father. I was the one to inform Mia that I am not Carrie's biological father. I just assumed she'd told her family. When her dad referred to those men, I assumed he knew she'd been with so many men. I love her family. I don't want them to hurt anymore over this than they have to. I had, and have, no desire to put salt in their wounds. Mia admitted to a couple of short-term affairs to them, that's it. I was trying to protect Carrie and assume she'd discreetly tell her family. I cut off contact with them and had been communicating via Jessica and Nadia. Until I ran into Mandy, I hadn't had a sit-down talk with anyone in her family. We came to find out Mia was hoping it stayed that way. Sorry for the confusion. Peace and thanks to all. I think it was me who asked about Becca in the previous update, and it seems that they are no longer friends, since she has not been to her house since they took her from her parents' house. The more Mia answers questions, the clearer the picture becomes. From the very first time when she met you with Nadia and answered that she was with you because of the safety you provided. Up to now, when you asked her if she felt shame and she replied that she did, especially after her family found out. Not when you found out, but when her family found out. Mia is worried about a lot of things, her reputation, safety, and losing the last bit of comfort that she received after losing you. But the one thing she never worried about was you, your marriage, or your kids. All that you wrote here only confirms to me what Mia truly cares about. Herself. I mean it somehow makes sense. It is a mindset she trained herself to be in for at least six years. That is not something she can just leave behind and, like I wrote in your last post, I even doubt that it is just a mindset. Be very careful from now on. She is now put into a position where she feels like she has nothing more to lose. She is desperate, and desperate people can be unpredictable. Be prepared. Two possibilities that come to my mind right now are that she tries to reach out to the kids to show them how badly you treat their mom, trying to manipulate them again, or she will take a rather drastic step to get your attention, which I hope will not happen. Take good care of yourself and the kids. If you can, then reach out to your parents-in-law and let them know that they can see the kids anytime they want. Keep on going to therapy, stay strong and stay prepared. Hi, Crannick. It wasn't until the last meeting with her that I actually thought she might have some undiagnosed form of mental illness. I have no doubt she is enduring depression at the very least right now. But depression due to an event or events is different than clinical long-term depression. She had depression after having Michael, but I thought it went away. Nadia said she seemed really wound up, ready to snap. I'm sure the manner in which I spoke to her and the things I said didn't help that. But her behavior has been inexcusable, mental illness or no mental illness. She still doesn't get a pass from me. But if therapy helps her act like she's a decent human being again, I hope she goes every day. Just not on my tab. You are so very correct in saying she's desperate, almost like a cornered animal. It may make me prick of the year, but I find it ironic if not poetic. She stayed and deceived me for six years due to the stability I provided. Now, not only is that stability gone, I've removed the stability she had before we ever met, she's had since birth. She destroyed my life, I've taken something from her she's possessed her entire life, until now. So yeah, I know she's capable of anything at this point, because she has nothing to lose. I have several vars like you recommended and keep one on me at all times. But she can't even see the kids right now. They have seen her parents, but they haven't seen their mom since nearly a week before Mandy and I talked. That is probably making her more desperate. But she has no place to actually be with them. Her car won't cut it. As for her reputation, if she hasn't figured out it has already gone to crap, she's blind and deaf. People are talking about her. She has no way to do damage control. And it's only getting worse by the day. I think the realization that she's nearly 0% in control of her future is overwhelming her. Her future was set with me, but she chose to make plans. Knowing in a very real sense, she chose this for her life, has to be destroying her inside. A few weeks ago, I signed into this throwaway account for the first time in almost a year. There were many messages and comments inquiring about how the kids and I are doing, or how things turned out. A very large part of me wanted to ignore them all, sign out, and never log in again. Because I have managed to get back on course with my life and my children's life, and dwelling on the past only hinders forward progress. But the advice I got from Reddit was supportive and helpful from the start, all the way through several episodes in my life when I was at my lowest points. For those people that assisted me so well and showed me such kindness, I will make this final update. Because I do owe a huge thank you to the many who helped me navigate the minefield I didn't yet know I was living in. It's been so long since my last update, much time has passed. Many events have occurred, to the point where this can't be explained in two or three paragraphs. Because things have now been finalized beyond, what I ever imagined or intended. When I last posted, my soon-to-be ex-wife Mia had been kicked out of her parents' house for neglecting to tell them, I am not the biological father of our daughter Carrie. I had informed them I'd caught their daughter cheating the same morning I told them about our wreck. However, she had not revealed to them that the guy I caught her with, was just one in a long line of men with whom she cheated. Mia had been forced to live in her car because she had nowhere else to go after being disowned. Meanwhile, I was in the process of attempting to legally adopt Carrie, after having the court adjudicate I am not her biological father. And my attorney Nadia was attempting to get Mia to see a mental health professional of her choosing, in the hopes it might benefit me. Nadia recommended two local psychiatric practices to Mia's lawyer saying we'd pay for her sessions, or she could choose any other therapist she wished to see. I, had some major misgivings about having to pay for the sessions or doing anything that might actually benefit Mia. If you learned nothing else from my experience, take this advice to heart, love them or hate them, always listen to your lawyer. To make a long story short, Mia chose a local psychiatrist who instantly recognized she was mentally unstable. For her own well-being she committed Mia to the local hospital's psyche ward overnight for observation. That overnight stay became many months under psychiatric care in hospitals. Due to confidentiality rules within the medical field, I never heard her actual diagnosis. But her attorney said each time he saw Mia she was heavily sedated and out of it. Those initial months she spent trying on designer straitjackets delayed the finalization of the divorce and child custody hearings. However, since Mia was not contesting and her counsel could stand in as a representation, there was no delay in my attempt to adopt Kerry. As sad as everything had recently been for me in my life, hearing that judge question Kerry and listening to her responses made me so unbelievably happy. Kerry didn't know she had ever been declared not my daughter by the court at my behest. So, it seemed funny to her for the judge to ask if she wanted me to be her daddy. I was so proud of her, though she couldn't understand why. She was just happy when I told her I loved her, as she hugged me as her adopted father for the first time. I was glad Michael was also there, but even more grateful Mia wasn't. Neither Michael nor Kerry really had any understanding of what the hearing was about. But Kerry is now legally my daughter, even if we share no DNA. When I saw Mia cheating it instantly removed all love I ever had for her. Until I was able to reunite with Kerry, I was so afraid that because of what her mother did, I would lose all love for her as well, or resent her. To still feel that love I always had for her again was such a relief. I would not have been in the wrong if I couldn't get past that, no matter what anyone wants to say. If paternity matters enough to the legal system to force a man to pay for a child that is his, it also matters enough for a man to not be able to accept a child that isn't. But damn it, I really needed Kerry in my life, I'd lost too much already, and she needed a dad who had already loved her for her entire lifetime. If I'm honest there will always be a tiny part of my soul that will remain broken, because she is not my biological daughter. I cannot put into words how devastating that was to find out and accept. I know I am doing the very best I can as a parent in this situation. I believe time given to children and love, is far more important than anything any parent could buy them. So will always be my focus. Other than Mia's mental issues, there was truly no reason for the divorce not to be finalized. She wasn't getting a penny from me and even her own lawyer admitted that in her situation, she had no hope of getting any custody at that time. If and when she got out of her padded cell paradise, if she found a safe place to live, she could petition the court to gain some type of visitation and her custody. The court appointed a legal aide to vouch for Mia being cognizant of what she was doing. Her lawyer got her to sign the divorce papers with witnesses and had them notarized. I had to show up in court with Nadia a week later, for attorneys to get the judge to finalize some issues. Two weeks later I was legally divorced from the biggest mistake and waste of my life. I should have been happy about that, and I was. Signing the papers was the symbolic nail in the coffin to our marriage. Yet, it all felt anticlimactic somehow. It amazed me how well Mia's family stuck to their guns, in regard to disowning her after they found out everything she'd done. I'm sure some of that was due to wanting to stay on my good side, so they could visit with the kids. Even though her parents and sister knew she was in the psyche ward, they never even attempted a visit, nor did I obviously. But it was apparent from the times I talked to her parents, how disgusted they were by their daughter's depravity. They were embarrassed for people to know what their daughter did. I could empathize and sympathize. Knowing Mia had been run through more times than an oscillating lawn sprinkler in July, made me ashamed to admit I had ever been intimate with her. Mandy made sure to let everyone know what her sister and Rebecca had been doing, short of paternity fraud of course. Between social media and face-to-face conversations with friends, word got out about their exploits. Within a month nearly everybody knew about her years of cheating and private immorality, and many felt obligated to share their peace of mind when encountering her. It was slightly humiliating for me having everyone know how foolishly trusting I had been. At the end of the day, in a relationship you either trust or you don't, and she'd never given me a single reason not to trust. It wasn't until a few months before I caught her, that I even considered she could ever cheat. In hindsight a few red flags were missed, but she covered her tracks well. I should have put an end to the girl's nights out obviously once her depression subsided, just out of principle. But that night she stayed out all night was the first and only time that had ever happened before. She'd call if she was going to be 15 minutes late, which was extremely rare. I was actually worried, because that was so unlike her, and I wanted to make sure she was safe. I know many people probably think I'm an idiot or blind for not knowing for so long. By keeping things strictly physical oriented. And limiting the number of encounters with each man, she never developed any trails to follow. She did it like she was a true professional. She wasn't glued to her phone or protective of it, I never felt the desire to snoop. She portrayed herself to be the beautiful loving wife and mother. I wasn't the only one who was deceived. Many friends have told me face to face they were shocked to know she was cheating, and would have told me if they'd known. They had no idea any more than I did. Everything she represented herself to be, to everyone, was a total lie. They wanted nothing to do with her and nobody cared if she was kept in the war the rest of her life. The only problem with no one having any contact with Mia was that it left us blindsided. Nobody alerted us when they decided to let her out. Laws prevented the hospital from letting us know due to doctor patient confidentiality. I have no idea if she just convinced the doctors she was okay, or if they just felt like they had done all they could do to help her. But they released her on a Tuesday just before noon. She somehow made her way from the hospital to her car, which was parked at her lawyer's office behind his home. From there she took her car and drove to the kids' school. When she was informed that she couldn't see or check the kids out of school, she made enough of a scene that the school called me. I told them to call the police and that I would be there as fast as I could. On the way to my car, I called Mandy to let her know her baby sister was no longer using her Airbnb accommodations on Insanity Island. I told her I had no idea if she'd been released or escaped, but I'd find out when I got to the school. She said she'd call her parents, my parents, and dug to let them know what was going on, and to keep them posted. By the time I got there, two cop cars and an ambulance were parked out front with lights flashing. I pulled into a parking spot, got out and headed toward the closest officer. After identifying myself as the ex-husband, he directed me through a side door which ended up being the school cafeteria. I was relieved to learn no one had alerted Michael or carried to the drama in the front office, and school had not recessed. The police had Mia seated at a cafeteria table and she tried to stand when she saw me, demanding to see her children. They kept her from approaching me and I asked if they had checked with the hospital mental health ward to see if they had released her. The authorities informed me that while the hospital couldn't release certain information without a warrant, they had released her under her own cognition. Mia started crying and demanded to see her children. I told them I had full custody, and there was no way they were seeing her in such a frantic emotional state. She yelled at me that she wanted to see her children yet again. I told her to go have her lawyer file paperwork for visitation. But unless I saw an evaluation from some mental health professional telling me otherwise, she was an unfit parent and a manic mother. She said the kids are the only two people alive that still have any love left for her. I told her that was probably true, but they're just kids, and they don't know any better. Some employee laughed, then managed to regain his composure. She tried to come at me, but was held back. She said she hadn't seen her children in months, and that they were the only thing that got her through her time in the hospital. I explained I really didn't give a damn about her struggle, to cope with the consequences of her own actions. But there was no way I was subjecting our children to her lies and drama that day. I told the cop I wanted to file a restraining order on her to stay away from me and the kids. He agreed to file the initial paperwork on my behest but that a judge would have to determine if one was needed and sign it. He then explained to Mia since I was not going to allow her to see the kids, they had already talked to the principal of the school. She needed to leave immediately and not come back onto the premises, until she could show a court order granting her partial custody. To my surprise, she didn't make an even bigger scene. I guess she realized nothing she could do at that moment would get her what she wanted. She grabbed her purse and keys before being escorted by an officer to her car. She got in and drove away while the other cop and I filled out the restraining order form on his tablet and talked with the principal. Soon enough the kids got out of school, and I loaded up Michael and Carrie to take home. I was about two miles from the school when I thought I saw Mia's car pull out from a fast food restaurant just after we passed by. I took the next right, and the next right, and the last right, until I was on the same street we'd been on. I could see Mia's car up ahead and sped up to try and figure out what she was doing. She was oblivious to the fact, I'd managed to maneuver my way behind her. It was obvious she was looking for someone, and that very person, was now observing her. The kids didn't even recognize her car ahead of them. Thankfully, a Reddit user had urged me to get front and rear cameras with audio recorders installed in my vehicles. That gave me all the evidence I needed to prove Mia was stalking me and the kids, even after being warned by authorities to stay away. I went straight to the police station and showed the magistrate footage of Mia waiting for us to pass by, pulling out and then losing us. She assured me the evidence would be submitted to the case judge, and I should hear I've been granted the restraining order sooner than later. In two days while I was at work, I got a call from the police saying the restraining order had been filed and served that morning. They told me she was to stay 200 yards away for me and the children, at all times. She was forbidden from contacting me or the kids in any possible way except via her attorney to my attorney. I was directed to immediately call them if she did anything to break the restraining order. I felt some relief that at least I had the law on my side. But I fully expected her to ignore the restraining order by trying to contact me or the kids. To my surprise, nobody heard anything for Mia. Her sister said she had not tried to contact her or her parents. I fully expected her to seek out some type of free legal assistance to file for partial custody, but no one ever contacted Nadia. Two months went by and honestly the longer we went without hearing from her or about her, was a bit unnerving. But about three months ago when I got home, there was a large Manila envelope in the mail. The address was handwritten, and the return address only said Sydney, Australia. The voided stamps were Aussie. I truly couldn't imagine who had sent the envelope or why. But inside was an extremely long letter from Mia explaining where she was and assuring me she wouldn't be coming back. I was stunned when I got the letter, considering the postmark from so far away, and who it was from. The things she said in the letter probably left me even more astounded by her evil hedonistic rationale that allowed her to sleep at night. Her maniacal manifesto filled in many of the gaps about what she'd endured and what letter there. She explained that she essentially had a nervous breakdown during her initial therapy session. Pretty much the first two months she was hospitalized she was heavily sedated and on various antidepressant and antipsychotic medications. She said for the longest time when she got there, she just wanted to end it. Via therapy and by going to group discussions, she talked through her issues in an attempt to understand why she did what she did. She said the other patients in the group discussions kept looking at her like she was a complete dummy for throwing everything away. They'd come from broken homes, abusive relationships, backgrounds with substance abuse and violence. Her life had been as easy as pie compared to their life struggles. When it finally clicked in her warped mind, how badly she'd screwed up and that none of her old life was coming back, she had another breakdown. Her first breakdown was due to facing her past, the second due to facing her future, or lack thereof. She went on to explain her feelings of loss and heartache in some half-assed attempt for sympathy. Mia had the audacity to claim that the morning I caught her cheating, what upset her was knowing I instantly didn't love her anymore, and never would again. She claimed over the years whenever she felt guilt for what she was doing, she rationalized it by telling herself I wouldn't love her if I knew what she was doing, and she wanted me to always love her. She was right, it instantly deleted all love I ever had for her, the moment I saw her with another man. She said to know I truly no longer loved her broke her heart, because despite all that she did she still loved me. She swore just because she'd had adventures with all those men didn't mean she ever loved me any less. I'd hate to know how she would have treated me if she'd hated my guts. She had the audacity to call me her best friend and soulmate. She had no desire to have any romantic connection with anyone but me. She said having men openly tell her they wanted to do nothing more use her and giving herself over to her primal instincts without a care in the world about consequences, was such a rush. She confessed that after cheating a few times, Becca convinced her, humans were never meant to be monogamous. She said she would have been more than willing to allow me to have time with other women, but she knew I'd never want that. She said being able to hook up with some random guy she met at the store, made being just a mom and wife feel less hopeless and mundane. She tried to quantify that I somehow benefited from her having other partners, because it taught her to be a better lover when she was with me. I would have far preferred a completely dead bedroom than being married to a wannabe sorority robot with no morals. And what kind of guy would be with any woman that gave it up that easily? Those guys are just worthless too. Next time go break one off instead of helping to break up a family. Call me old fashioned. And I'm sure a lot of people that have read my story, have called me that and far worse. But if you feel you need to go on exploration and be wild, that is your decision, you are completely entitled to do it. It seems today very few don't live their lives that way. But the time to explore and hook up is long before you have children. The time to do that is way before you marry. And it sure as hell long before you reach the point of cheating on your husband with so many men, you give birth to some stranger's child and tell your husband he's the father. However, if by going out, being wild and exploring your sexuality turns you into someone or something only the most hard up desperate man would ever consider making a commitment to so be it. If at any point while we were dating, Mia had told me she needed to break up so she could meet new random men, I would have been totally fine with it. That would have told me she lacked the morality, loyalty, and trustworthiness I wanted in a wife. If she'd revealed who and what she was when we were dating, it all could have been avoided. I would not have cared one Iota who or how many men she had personal escapades with, as long as I wasn't one of them. She was either always unworthy of my time and love, or became unworthy via her unforgivable actions. But just as she can unfrick all those men, I can't go back in time and keep her out of my life. Words be damned. Her actions have proved she is unworthy of anyone's time and certainly not love. She will end up a last call at some dive bar down under, allowing anyone drunk enough searching for 15 minutes of companionship. She wrote how much it broke her heart to get the petition. Notice that I was having my name removed from Kerry's birth certificate. Mia said she understood I couldn't even stand to look at her anymore after what she'd done, and our daughter was just a reminder of that. She claimed what hurt her even more, was when she got my petition to adopt Kerry as my daughter. Because it showed her even though I could never give her a second chance, I had enough love in my heart to give a second chance to the very product of her infidelity. She said she struggled with feelings of being jealous of her Kerry. Knowing her kids would grow up receiving all the amenities she took for granted destroyed her. Frankly, her words spoke volumes about how truly self-centered she really is. She couldn't think of me and put me first, she couldn't even do that with her own children. Yet she hated knowing huge moments of her kids' lives would happen without her around to see them. She imagined pictures shared on social media reminding her of what she was missing and feeling like she'd been stabbed through the heart. She explained that when she was released after the events at the school that day, she went around that night trying to reconnect with old friends. The few people that would speak to her were very direct in what they thought of her, in that they wanted nothing to do with her. Most acted as if they didn't know her and just ignored her. A few warned her if they ever found out she'd been with their husband or boyfriend, God help her. But she realized her hometown had been poisoned against her. Her former boss and many co-workers knew, so there was no going back to her job. The other driver's auto insurance had given her a decent check each month to live on until she was locked away. She had to stop going to physical therapy in the insurance company considered the matter of the accident and her injuries a closed case. She had no money. Getting a job close enough to potentially see the kids wasn't happening. Quickly, and she had to survive on her own. She pawned a few items to get by while she looked for jobs online and that's when she said she met some guy from Australia online. It seems they chatted back and forth over the course of a few days, and he invited her for a visit. She'd already been seriously thinking of cashing in her 401k, but was scared about paying the huge tax penalty at the end of the year. The invite to Australia was all it took for her to cash in the only chips she had. She said he's a really nice guy and has a son that needs a mom. Poor kid is getting Joan Crawford for a mom. And he's getting Amber heard for his wife. It's safe to say he has no idea what she's done and what she's capable of. She's his problem now. She'll become an Australian citizen, won't have to pay the IRS, and she will never be my problem again. It was the last contact she made and will hopefully be the final contact she ever makes with me again, fingers crossed. But if it keeps crazy down under and out of my hair, she can do whatever she wants. I hate to be so flippant. Because I do sympathize with the citizens of Australia, as yet another venomous species becomes endemic to their ecosystem. But these are the ignominies you have to face as a people, for mocking planetary gravity generation after generation. Yes, I'm giddy that she's gone, and I have every right to be. But Australia, sincerely, thoughts and prayers. Between providing anti-psychotic medication and treating STDs, she may bankrupt your entire socialized medical system. Obviously, I hope she stays away. But a potential arrest upon return for tax evasion with the punishment being time served in federal prison, will hopefully seal the deal. My therapist has helped me quite a bit, especially dealing with anger, though I'm sure no one reading this could tell. My therapist and I came to an epiphany during one heated session. For the longest time I was far angrier at myself, than I was angry at Mia. People talk about forgiveness and how it sets a person free. I had so much anger built up inside I just assumed 100% of it was directed toward Mia. Nope. It turns out despite her flaws and missteps, I held myself to a higher ethical standard. I was beating myself up with self-loathing because I couldn't believe I'd chosen so poorly. Yes, Mia was the deceitful lying person, but at the end of the day I chose that woman and messed my own life up. I can say without a doubt, I would be much better off having never loved Mia. Lots of people asked about Rebecca. I found out that after Mia was kicked out of her parents' house, she did in fact go to Rebecca's. Apparently, my ex thought Becca owed her a place to stay at the very least. After contributing to our marriage failing, Rebecca seemed to feel like all she had done was to enable Mia to do what she actually wanted to do, and did know her a damn thing. It's an interesting debate topic, one which apparently got heated. I have no idea who won, but that friendship ended with a lot of hair pulling, profanity and punching. Either way, where got out Rebecca had been involved in destroying my marriage and things got rough for her. I don't use any social media. No, I don't consider Reddit social media. But I'm told she was unfollowed, unfriended, and people spoke their minds online. In real life too stylus quit her salon due to what she'd done. The ones that remained, all had customers asking how they could still work there or if they'd changed salons too. It took a month or two, until she couldn't pay the lease and had to close up shop. The last anyone heard, Rebecca was working at her brother's restaurant in Connecticut as a hostess. When she left town, I wanted to have her condo bulldoze like Forest Gump did to Jenny's childhood home, due to all the heinous things that occurred there. But the neighbors in the other two units weren't too keen on that idea. Quite a few people insinuated in comments that there was chemistry or something going on with my lawyer Nadia and me. I thought they were crazy. Turns out, I am as oblivious as always when a woman is interested. After the divorce had been finalized, since she wasn't representing me in the civil suit that never happened, I went for drinks with her and several others in the practice to celebrate. As others left one by one, she said she had to talk to me about one more matter before I left. I assumed she was going to ask for a good review on the practice's website or something. She surprised me by telling me after working on my case, she truly appreciated how loyal and dedicated I had been to my wife, and still am to my kids. She admitted over the course of the divorce she'd grown attracted to me, but couldn't say anything as she had been my lawyer. She confessed I was very hard to read, and she couldn't tell if I had any attraction toward her at all. But she knew a good man when she saw one, and she was going to shoot her shot. It was flattering to hear, especially after all that transpired. And Nadia even told me long before I gave her a well-deserved huge bonus check. So as distrusting as I am, I think she was being sincere in what she said. She just told me if I ever wanted to go out and have a drink or talk to give her a call. Nadia is a beautiful woman. I don't think any guys could refute that except for the visually impaired ones. She's brilliant, genuinely talented, she has her life together. It's pretty obvious she goes to a gym quite frequently. Lawyers like to look good in the courtroom. And she dresses classy sexy, which the gentleman in me appreciates. At one hearing when she came into court in a pinstripe suit, I'm fairly certain the judge would have granted me custody of his kids after he saw her. Even as jaded as I am, I have to admit she would be a fantastic catch for any guy she chose to date. But for me, that, or any other juice, is just not worth the squeeze. I already know I would subconsciously judge her for her past, which she certainly does not deserve and could do nothing about. And unfortunately, any women I felt an inkling of interest in would be subject to that same unfair judgment. I had plenty of dudes message and urged me to go on a dating app and hook up with some random, just to get past the fact Mia is still the only woman I've been with. Sorry to the guys that will be disappointed to hear, but I could never do that. A friend showed me the local Tinder prospects, I will not be downloading the app. If I had any desire to get hunting my second bed post-notch out of the way, as one message suggested, I would have gone the naughtier route. It pisses me off knowing Mia took something I used to really enjoy and remove that activity for my life forever. Now just thinking back to our past moments of intimacy make my skin crawl, knowing she was doing those very same things and far more debased with many other men. In the eyes of most people in Western society today, the fact I've only been with one woman would either make me a prude or hard-up. Yet I feel as filthy as a Victorian-era London streetwalker just due to the knowledge I've was with Mia. She took everything that made it special to me and made it impossible for me to experience again. Our exclusivity, our vows, and union were thrown away so she could experience a random person's chuppachup disco flavor. And then she lied. Oh my god, did she lie? Because she lied, for the longest time I'd think back to any positive thing she ever said about me and believe it to be a lie too, just because she said it. She made me doubt my sanity, my parenting, my strength, and my worth. I don't want to ever go back to that. I won't go back to that. I have no one and yet I'm still living. That proves there isn't a woman out there I can't live without, I'm already doing it. I have no hate for, women at all and want the best for them because Carrie too will be a woman someday. But there is absolutely nothing any woman on this planet has that would enrich my life in the least, only complicated. If there aren't some women who feel that way about men, there should be. Human beings, both male and female, are a scourge upon each other. Not worth the time and energy, and not to be trusted. Many people ask questions pertaining to finding Carrie's biological father. I have done quite a bit of research into DNA ancestry sites. My biggest issue is that if there is an existing match, the companies also alert the other person. If Carrie took a test which revealed a cousin, an uncle or even her dad, I'm her protector, I don't want anyone to come looking. She's a healthy child with no apparent genetic defects, so I'm going to wait quite a while to do any testing. My mindset is of this day, is to wait at the very least until her mid to late teens. But I could envision waiting until her 20s to let her make the decision. Honestly, I've also considered never telling her I'm not her father. Truly, if there is any advice I could still use from Reddit, it would be questioning at the end of the day what would truly be best for Carrie? Do you think never telling her now after all that has happened would be a good or bad thing? Should I wait until she is a teen or an adult at 18 to tell her and begin the search? I'm not worried about me, I already know the truth. I'm trying to prepare for any future scenarios both good and bad. How likely is it she will have some medical condition she will need to know her paternal medical history. Please know, any DNA genealogy testing will likely happen several years down the road at the earliest. With her mom out of her life so recently, I don't want to do something that could make her feel less secure, safe, and confident in her own identity. And mine. It's odd to be in the situation I am, and to sincerely hope both kids took after their fathers. In closing, I want to thank Reddit user Krannick in particular for the advice given to me through my ordeal. You probably aren't 187 years old, but, even if you are, you are wise far beyond your years. You were able to analyze my ex, and predict angles I was leaving open for her to attack. And when you said she was desperate, I believed you, but damn. In the end, Mia literally fricked around and found out. Thank you for assisting me in every way to help her find out. To the many others who pointed me in the right direction or sent me an encouraging message, I thank each of you. My plan is to post this, wait half a day and maybe respond to a few comments over a period of a few days. Then my story will officially be done. I rarely even think about Mia anymore because I stay so busy in my new life without her. So, I don't want to dwell on what has happened for more than a couple of days. My kids are my world and I actually love my job which keeps me busy. The pay is just a bonus for being allowed to do something I enjoy. To any Australians who read this, I hope I didn't offend in any manner, that was not my intent in the least. I hate being the bearer of bad news for your nation as a whole, you guys didn't deserve this any more than I did. Next part is a small update on my situation. I will try to keep this short, but I had a session with my therapist today at lunch. I'd sent her the post to read what I wrote and all the comments. She absolutely loved you people for nudging me toward something with Nadia. She urged me to take it slowly, but be honest with her and myself. So when I got out of my session, I called Nadia and asked if I could drop by to get her expert opinion about a few things. After dropping the kids off at their grandparents, I stopped by the firm to talk to her. Again, I have no game because I never had to develop one. I don't know how to flirt. I'm just me. All I have is kindness, humor, and sincerity. When she realized I had no legal issues I needed to talk about, she got a rye grin on her face. I told her I'd been doing a lot of thinking and talking with friends since she and I talked. I told her I am 100% scared as hell to open up and give her a chance. But I'm also 100% sure I need to man up since she was woman enough to shoot her shot. I also said, I couldn't envision how things would work out because of our differences. When she inquired which differences, I mentioned the kids and that she is none. She said she has enjoyed meeting my kids and asked if I had issues with her not being a mom yet, which I didn't. I said I had a little concern her being so petite and me so tall that I might accidentally hurt her being clumsy or something. She promised me she was pretty tough and said big things come in small packages. I was nervous and replied that I wasn't looking for anything intimate just yet, but appreciated the offer. She blushed and laughed really hard. At least she gets my warped humor. Long story short, we both have Friday and Monday off due to the holiday weekend. So Thursday night I will drive us for dinner at a nice restaurant, then we'll go to a fantastic martini bar I know of. It's a first step and while I am nervous, I do feel very comfortable talking to her and being around her. We're going to take things slowly. But I can't do this with an audience, so this will be my last post, reply or comment. If things work out that's great, if not I can live with that too. I just don't want to feel I'm letting anyone down if things don't work out in any way. So I hope you all understand. I really do thank you all for helping me get through the hell my life became and being in my corner. My therapist, thanks you too, may you all know love, success and most of all peace for helping a stranger online pick up the pieces of his broken life. Bless you all. Brother, no words really, just God's speed, continued healing and strength to you and your kids. Thanks for updating. them about the situation and your desire for Kerry to know the truth. This truth includes the fact that you love her, which should be the most important point when you bring anything up. Then make a plan with the therapist and also make Michael a part of the process. They both need to become an unbreakable unit. But from all you wrote, I have no worries about that. However, take some time with that. She has gone through enough in the last year, allow things to calm down a little first. Second, regarding you stay true to yourself. That is the only thing I can tell you, you have your heart in the right place and values that others can look up to. No matter what happens, be strong in your beliefs and always stay true to yourself. I wish you all the best on your way forward, my friend. It's fantastic to hear from you, Kranek. And yet again, you offer sage advice. Most of my concern with telling Kerry that I'm not her bio dad stems from growing up with several people who were adopted. So often, when there was any friction in their lives, they would state the desire to find their real mom or dad. They'd say their real parent wouldn't treat them that way, or their real parent would let them do whatever they wanted. Knowing they were adopted, made them appreciate what they did of less and take on a the grass must be greener on the biocide mindset. Finding and even letting her get to know her bio dad doesn't scare me. Finding a bio dad who is a bad person that she views through rose-colored lenses does. However, that will be down the road for a year or two. I see no reason right now to complicate her life, especially since she's still just in elementary school. Being true to myself involves being honest with myself in all ways. The integrity instilled in me is essentially part of who I am now. So, I try to be true, genuine, and fair with everyone I encounter. Sometimes that isn't easy, because people don't make it easy. But at the end of the day, I have to be true to myself, because me approved in this world you cannot depend on a single soul to be true to you, when all is said and done. Life has proven that much to me. But I appreciate the encouragement and shared wisdom more than you will ever know. A lot of people on this site owe you for the guidance and kindness you share. I, for one, want to extend a huge, thank you. You make this site so much better, which results in making the world a little better. Thank you again, my friend. And there you have it, a dark story in the world of deceit, an honest man brutally betrayed, who stayed true to what's best for him and his kids, fighting the hardest battle there is, within his mind. I truly believe that therefore, this man is a true sigma male. He is the rock his children can hold on to. Fighting his emotions makes him human, but no human should go through what he endured. From the unimaginable betrayal, to being warped into life altering consequences after each decision. What would you advise him to do, concerning his daughter? Or do you have any other thought you wish to share? Thank you for enjoying this long, strong and emotional story. It was hard to cover this story, as this is one of the most brutal stories, Royal AI has covered so far. Before we say goodbye, be sure to text the like button, we need to talk. But when you meet up, just keep the conversation casual. See you, in the next one. This content is shared for your entertainment. Royal AI never condones any immoral or illegal activities. We're all about a healthy headspace, sharing real stories. I aim to share the story as OP shares it, and how commenters share their insights. Please remember this when commenting.