 Your coca-cola bottler presents Claudia based on the famous play and novels by Rose Franken Brought to you transcribed Monday through Friday by your friendly neighbor who bottles coca-cola Relax and while you're listening refresh yourself. Have a coke and now Claudia David before we go down to breakfast. There's something very important. We have to discuss I want to discuss your truth and how to tell her she has to leave. I can't hear you. I said there's something very important We have to discuss. Oh Can't wait until I'm finished shaking. You wait that long but not much longer Are you still shaking? Taking off a long this morning. Sorry if I haven't seen. How do you expect me to do my chin while I'm talking? You don't have to talk just answer my questions. Oh Is that what was that none of your business honestly when you shave I can hardly understand you the way you talk David David you haven't cut your tongue off. Have you Can I come in are you coming out? I am coming out What is your question? What was my question? You mean you don't remember now? Let me see. Let me see I did have a few on my mind. Well, don't strain yourself my bride. I'm not a bride anymore I'm your son's mother remember. Oh, I look at you. It's hard to believe when I listen to you It's impossible get the compliments and get dressed getting late. Please don't retard me with talk Not another word to retard you Except to say this one weekend back in the farm has done you an awful lot of good Face is nice and brown circles are gone from under your eyes You have a nice relaxed look to look beautiful At least to me. Let's get the compliments and throw me the shoehorn. All right I am easy to please when it comes to husband's here cat Good cat. Thank you, David. I know you're in a hurry. You don't want to talk But would you mind discussing something important? Well, not when you put it that way now start discussing Gertrude Gertrude Gertrude. What about Gertrude? You know about Gertrude. You have to tell her we can't keep her on. Oh, so we do We better tell her today too. It's only right to give a person notice, isn't it? Only right only right I just don't know how to tell her about Fritz and Bertha coming up on Friday Just tell her that Fritz and Bertha coming up on Friday, and that they're the only help we'll need. Oh, it's not so simple Well Gertrude speaks English doesn't she? David, please be serious, but I am not you're pretending It's not an important problem, and you know deep in your heart it is. What is the problem? You simply have to tell Gertrude that we have acquired a permanent couple and that our services are no longer necessary No, perfectly. Well, it's impossible to tell somebody like Gertrude to leave When she's worked so hard and been so loyal and taking care of the place and the dog and the cat and the rooster While we were in New York having the baby while you were having a baby while we David, I just can't tell it. We have somebody to replace her Well, that that isn't a pleasant job. He isn't it miserable. I'm very fond of Gertrude She's terribly bossy and she scrapes all the paint off the walls washing them so hard She makes us eat things we hate because they're healthy, but even so I I hate telling her darling We just have to we can't possibly afford to keep Gertrude as well as Fritz and Bertha. No, we can't Hardly afford to keep Fritz and Bertha without Gertrude. I know that you don't have to tell me that I Never expected to acquire Fritz and Bertha, but it was sort of like orphans the other night pretty lucky for us I think so, but Life is certainly something what's the matter with life now Throw me throw me myself getting you dressed is like playing basketball Here catch you made a goal Thanks, you know, we're a pretty good team now now tell me about life Well, not so very long ago you and I were sitting here in this very room Worrying about hiring Gertrude If she'd work for us if we could bribe her into helping us out for just a few hours a day And I'll look at his stewing about how we're gonna ask her to stop helping it Oh, I consider this much more a problem of human relations. So do I It's an awful problem I hate to hurt her feelings darling you you'll find a way to tell her I've never known you at a loss for words before I've never been in a spot like this before You know firing people is an awful lot harder than hiring them. That's because you're you There's a cinch to hire you as my husband. I Wonder if I could ever fire you if I so desire just say the word now pack my bags and leave Please help me out. It's too late. I'm fired and practically ready to go down for breakfast. I just want to brush my hair Maybe I should do it this way and just say to her Gertrude my husband and I think you've been simply wonderful I think you worked much too hard and you ought to take yourself a vacation. So Here's ten thousand dollars to go on a little trip to Europe. Hi, you're generous this morning Only we don't have ten thousand dollars. We don't know we keep Gertrude and Fritz and Bertha. We never will have so Maybe I should say Gertrude mr. Norton and I are broke Stony cold broke stony. We'd love to keep you on but we simply can't afford it right The baby's going to do the housework instead. Oh great Except you'll find out Fritz and Bertha up here and then our goose is cooked We could introduce them as relatives. I don't think Fritz and Bertha would be flattered. No, I guess they wouldn't oh Only I could find a decent reason like she breaks too many dishes or she doesn't work hard enough for oh Well, I guess I'll just simply have to tell her the whole story. Oh, well, I guess you just simply have to Oh, shut up. I Wish you didn't have to catch that train this morning. I wish you could hang around and give me some mental support Mental support isn't what you need What you need is this That kiss made me feel like a superwoman. I could look Joe Lewis in the eye and challenge him to a fight But Gertrude's eye. No, no, then on to breakfast Probably has the sense to stay asleep until you've dealt with the good Gertrude Fix the breakfast that's a good way of getting rid of her She'll come in and look at her kitchen and get so discouraged that she'll quit No such luck Gertrude isn't the quitting kind of female. Oh I'm depressed cheer up darling in a few hours. It'll be all over Gertrude look who's here aren't you early today? Well, I had a lot on my mind. So I thought I'd come over and get going early. Good morning, Gertrude It's it's good to see you this morning set right down to breakfast things are whipping along in the kitchen I'll bring in the cold codfish cakes and soothe your throat with your juice cold codfish cakes Ethan this morning without grumbling David, please cakes And I won't dare to her and come juice. It's good for you So's the codfish gives you brains and you eat my portion you need the more than I do But what's I agree with you? All the codfish cakes in the world wouldn't give me enough brains for this morning That's something about Bertha her idea about breakfast food is lamb chops She want Gertrude to hear you. Gertrude never hears anything. She's so busy with her work Only she were lazy or had a vicer Something I could pin my fingers on No, she has to go and be a perfect gem I just can't forget her for it. Well, I see you like the prune juice Thought it might be good for a change such a pretty color and so full of vitamins So it is isn't it my late husband always drank prune juice. That's an optimistic thought I'll bring in the codfish cakes in the coffee. You like ketchup with them? I like anything with Take the ketchup if she'll keep the codfish cakes heaven's sakes She has a wonderful disposition always happy never grumbling At least I could think of someone to pass her on to Gertrude wouldn't do for anybody but us dog true true Now she won't even do for us. Oh We are so ungrateful They're nice and browned up. Here he is. Mr. Norton four of them big man like you Well, if they ain't enough I got more hot in the kitchen. Here's yours, Mrs. Norton Thank you Gertrude. Thank you very much for making codfish cakes this morning. I think nothing of it Think nothing of it go to it always likes to surprise you now I'd like to have a little talk with you folks for me. Oh dear Gertrude. What's on your mind? Well, I'm not the kind of woman who shot on words this morning though I'm kind of hard put to it as to how to say it you can say anything you like to I just want to tell you I Think you're swell folks you and Mrs. Norton and your mother and the baby Well, that's very sweet of you good baby in the house is kind of nice too. Yeah, I sure do like them Well, that's good. This is a mighty pretty house to work at and it's a pleasure to sweep it and dust it and clean it up Not much work at all. Well, not for somebody like you Gertrude. Yes, I sure do like working for you folks So yes, so this is not night. I don't know just where to begin if if it's a raise Gertrude because of the baby then I Suppose we'll have to give it to you a raise mr. Norton David. Could we afford it afford it or not? She's worth it Yes, she is. Oh, I wouldn't be asking for a raise mr. Norton Then it isn't that no ma'am. The fact is well, you see well, I guess I might as well jump in with both feet Manisha's mother died Tuesday last. Oh Gertrude. That's a shame. I'm sorry. Well, it was an awful pity It kind of tragedy too, but one of those things she lived in Pittsburgh. Oh and You mean they want you to you mean you want to leave and go to Pittsburgh I don't exactly want to but my duty is calling me. Well, of course in that case. We're going to be broken hearted. Oh Well, I sure would love to stay but you can't but I can't and a person can only do what they can do Can't they what's that again? Oh Gertrude's an awful shame. You have to go But don't you worry about us will manage. I sure do thank you folks for being so nice not acting put out Well, this isn't the sort of thing that would put us out not today Well, I'm relieved to hear it I sure didn't look forward to having to tell you this this morning But I said to myself Gertrude come straight out with it get it off your chest. The Norton's will understand And we envy your current. Well, I better get your coffee You don't want to miss that train mr. Norton. Oh, life is queer a little way Yeah, life sure is queer which goes to show you half the time we worry It's for nothing, you know David. It makes me think life has a way of sort of working out everything all by itself and Working it out fine Better even than I could Now to eat these divine cod fish cake Pass the ketchup mrs. Norton pass the ketchup With their children at home summer lunches aren't just a pickup snack from the refrigerator you have to plan ahead a bit Here's one plan that makes lunch fun for the whole family Spread a picnic meal on the porch or in the garden You'll have a real picnic atmosphere if you include ice-cold coca-cola It's so simple. No glasses to wash. No fuss or bother Just open the welcome bottles hand them round and everyone will lunch refresh Yeah, mr. King. I sure am sorry to leave the North. It's mutual Gertrude Mutual believe it maybe I could come back and visit sometime. Oh, that would be real nice Course we'll keep in touch through my friend Alvira cook Alvira cook. Oh, she's the male woman, isn't she? Yes, she is the right good one. Oh, we've we've all met Alvira and as a matter of fact We'll be seeing her when she comes around tomorrow. You don't say well, I'll be here. Well, that's good because to Claudia's dismay She'll bring a oh well since you'll be here. You'll find out tomorrow so long Gertrude Every day Monday through Friday Claudia comes to you transcribe with the best wishes of your friendly neighbor who bottles coca-cola So listen again tomorrow at the same time and Now this is joking saying or of war and remember Whoever you are whatever you do wherever you may be When you think of refreshment think of coca-cola for coca-cola makes any possible pause the pause that refreshes and Ice-cold coca-cola is everywhere These broadcasts are adapted for radio by mania star and the entire production is supervised and directed by William Brown Maloney and Now here's a word from your friendly neighbor who bottles coca-cola