 Footsteps to follow, footsteps to make Moments of life, wishing to take them Over and over, whenever an end Take a step backwards and take them again Footsteps to follow, footsteps to make New things to learn, our new lessons to take Learning from every success and mistake Footsteps to follow, footsteps to make Discipline, I guess probably the most Talked about, the most worried about Aspect of child rearing is discipline That's gotta be because we're all worried I know that even taking the two of us We were raised completely different As far as discipline was concerned Yeah, I came from a family that yelled a lot And I got smacked and I was punished a lot I think I was punished for most of my life And I don't know, I'd ask, you know Why and they'd say because And I'd say, because why and they'd say Because I said so or they'd say Because why is a crooked letter? All solid reasons Well, I was raised completely the opposite I was the product of a very permissive home My parents let me do anything I wanted There was no real strict guideline Set down for me and I don't know If that was right either How come you landed up to yellow And I landed up to quiet one? Don't know, I don't know I think probably both ways were not Exactly correct and I think the reason Again going back to why discipline Is so talked about is nobody knows Really exactly what's right Sandy, the playground but it is Right in line with the mayor's budget And management office That my job is to make sure that it stays In line Oh baby, I know that All I'm saying is that some of the mothers At the day care center who have older kids They feel that just not enough of the recreation Money's been spent on teenagers You know What do they want to do, huh? Have another one of those marches on City Hall Oh honey, hold on a minute, okay I don't mean to be jumping on you Like this over the phone but I Yeah look, I think maybe we ought to talk about this When you come home, okay How soon? Well I should be home at 5.30 I got one-one meeting but they shouldn't have to Finish then we'll play Go figure out where I am but the kids just came in And my sister came over to use the wash and the dry She brought Gary Sandy, have you finished your paper yet? Gary I'll start until you on Sandy and I get finished Sandy Sandy Will you make the kids keep quiet So you can finish your work? Oh, that's what I'm gonna do right quick Look, I'll see you at 5.30 baby, bye-bye Now Sandy Didn't I tell you all to stay outside till I finish this ironing? Hey, Marcella, it's alright Look, they're just figuring out what to do next They are gonna turn right around and march right back outside next Come on Say what? Now boy, I am going to choose to set your backside Oh, come on That's good looking out for Gary Marcella I did tell the kids that we would get together And choose the next thing for them to do Okay gang, let's have our conference Let's choose the next thing for you to do, okay? Now, I have some work to do down here So I want you to play upstairs Any suggestions? Well, okay, I have one Why don't you take your instruments upstairs And make up dances to the music Okay, Dwell, do you have any suggestions? Okay, tell me Sandy, can we play with Mark's train? Sure I'm not going upstairs to watch Wall While you're playing with your trains, no Sandy, you know Gary's gonna start fighting He's gonna get hurt again Oh Marcella, it'll be all right Won't it Gary? Yeah Okay, go ahead, play with the train No, I better not hear any noise Oh yes, Miss Lady We shall hear and obey Sandy, where did you get this job about choices from, huh? You get that out of your college books or what? Different places I'm just trying to pull some ideas together And use them, okay? Mm-hmm Sandy, you better pull yourself together Because if you don't, Mark and Portia will be running all over you All right, Marcella We try to run something like that Oh mama, we wouldn't have sat down for a week Talk about it We want to choose what we want to do I've been trying Does this button go up for steam or what? Why you Come on, shrimp Okay, you play Marcella, how are black children supposed to survive in this modern world If they never learn to make decisions for themselves? Sandy You won't listen to anybody but those books, will you? Well, maybe I didn't finish college, Sandy But I do know how to raise my kid That's what you get for raising your kids out of a book, Sandy If you just listen to me in the first place Wait for me, Sandy Write it down Marcella, what's going on? Ask your wife, Ted She's got all the answers Now come on Sandy, what's going on? Now look, Ted I don't need this kind of aggregation Not for my own family All right Let's quiet down Marcella, you take Gary and just go on home Will you, please? Uncle Ted, please I was just trying to show him We was just playing Gary, I have told you not to box with your cousin, haven't I? Now we're going to get our laundry and go home Mark, it's too small for you to be fighting I'm sorry things were in such a state when you came home, okay? Oh, listen now, it's all right You better get your raincoat It looks like it's going to rain outside My raincoat Why don't you try to upstair this closet? Right I'm being cool I thought you were always cool Daddy told me not to make a sound Or else Well, hey look Mom's all finished with her work now So why don't we go downstairs to daddy? You don't think you should go downstairs Until daddy calls you, do you? Can I get you something? How about your drawing board or your new book? My new book Okay, your new book it is Hold on, champ Here you go Why did you threaten Mark? Come on, Sandy baby, it's getting late You've got to go Mark is sitting up there scared of being hit But I didn't have to hit him, did I? And it got you some quiet so you can finish your paper Now what's the problem, mommy? Well, can you come down now? But first things first, okay? Ted, you know I don't like threatening Yeah, and I don't like you being late to collect that A either, baby They get going, huh? Come on, I'll see you later How would you feel tomorrow if we got some more trash, huh? You like that? Okay Marshall specials Okay, champ I don't feel you to go to bed, okay? Why do I have to go to bed all the time? Because I told you so And you got to give that nose a little rest, right? Oh Well, that's good, Mark But you still need to rest You know, you don't have to learn how to razzle Dazzle with that footwork Hey, show me how, show me how Okay Now you go to sleep What's up, man? Good job, man Yo, lady, man Listen, I just put the kids in bed Oh, you had a kid? Hey, kid! You had a kid! Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come here, man I'm here, now, what are you doing? Hey, give me some sugar, now Your uncle's on a big kiss here Oh, lord Portia It's time for you both to go back to bed You've seen your Uncle Son No, dad I want to stay up with Uncle Son I told you to get back in that bed, boy And you do it right now Well, OK, champ, I'll check you out tomorrow, here. OK, sweetness. Now, you get back in bed now, OK? OK, I'll just let them see you tomorrow, right? OK? I oughta get it. Yeah. We didn't hear it all that before. What else? You're a tendinbar, don't you? Huh? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'm really going to be in shape this time, man. Really? Hey, come on. At least my own brother could give me some encouragement. Everett, you don't need me to tell you that you got talent. Talent has never been your problem. It just takes discipline. Wow, your jaws are really tight tonight, calling me Everett. You know, you look just like Pops sitting there with that attitude. Why did you come by here, man? OK. OK, you got it, my brother. Look, I hate to hit on you again, but my financial situation ain't exactly what it should be. Well, I ain't lending you no more money. Hey, we didn't talk about this before. Now, I keep telling you, get your program together. Hey, everybody. Hey, come here, girl. Now, I got some good news for you. There's going to be a major league superstar in the family, girl. Ladies with my very expensive favors. So you got a contract? Well, the deal ain't set yet, but I'm trying out again. Oh, oh, sure, sonny. Look, that's great. I bet you go all the way. Oh, no question. I just hope I can get up the brand to go to training camp. Sandy's not lending you any money either, man. Oh, Ted, sonny's just trying to. Trying to hustle his family again. But he's not getting away with it this time, Sandy. Hey, wait, Ted. Sonny's just trying to talk to that. Yeah, just like, no, listen, man, who offered you the money three years ago to stay in school? He ain't no degree to be playing no pro baseball. All right? So who got you a gig right down in my own department, man? Huh? I mean, I risked my reputation to help you, man. Oh, man, look, Ted, I got sick that time. I had the flu. If the supervisor had told me it was going to be this big deal emergency, I would have been. She may have just out to get me. Don't be putting that on me, bro. You know, I'm through with it. You want to talk? Well, you want some apple juice? No, no, no, baby, I got to step off. Sonny, you're all coming to Grandma's birthday party, right? Problem. I'll see you later. Take care. Hey, listen, honey, can we talk a minute? Look, Sandy, I don't feel like talking about Sonny anymore tonight, OK? OK, I really. He didn't hustle you out anymore. Money did he? No, he did not, Ted. And it isn't Sonny I want to talk about. It's the kids. OK. What about them? Well, it's what I started to say before about threatening. Look, I don't think that the kids can learn anything by scaring them, or hitting them, or yelling orders at them without giving them reasons or choices. Reasons? Yes, choices. Yes. Sandy, come on now. Hey, look, this isn't school. This is no theories and no textbooks. This is life, real life, you know? Reasons, choices. Come on now, Sandy. Make sense, OK? Now, you and I both know that we got hit plenty when we were kids, right? Why? Because all our parents loved us. My mother knew that she can let me and Sonny Jessica run wild into this world, you know? Thinking that we could do anything that we want, any time and any place? No. When she and my dad beat us, it was so nobody else ever would. Now, don't you understand that? Then what went wrong with Sonny? Where's the toothpaste? I want my kids to be able to control themselves when they get older, you know? Not go running off into all kind of directions when the pressure starts. But what if the kids learn to behave well just so they don't get punished in some way? That's no good, baby. You know, you haven't heard a word I've said. Oh, Mark, you stay there and let your mama help me. Mark, sit down. Here, honey, you can watch the picture develop till the ice cream comes. I'll get it, Mark. That's like your Uncle Leverett. I think we decided you weren't coming. Hey, Miss Dina, huh? I'd have been here sooner, but, uh, ran into a little cash flow problem last night. Couldn't get mom's present till just now. So, we're just. I've heard I've told you before about using that street language in this house. Mark, you take your sister and go on in the living room. Mark, you don't say no to your father. Now, you get out of that chair and go in the living room like I told you to, or you won't have any dessert at all. And just what does that sonny mean? I told you to coo. And I told you to stay off my case, Ted. And I'm telling you that there will be no loud argument, especially not at your mother's birthday party. Ted, what's wrong? Sandy, just leave them alone. They're OK, OK? Yeah, Sandy. Don't get Ted any madder than he already is. He might be thought knocking down the walls. Mighty Ted Marshall. He's the only dude in the jungle pushing aside all wrongdoers. But when his own brother needs him to sit down and rap with him a little back like I'm always being asked to respect you all, you've got to earn respect, Everett. It doesn't come floating down the street in the back seat of a Cadillac. Start to grow up and respect yourself. Your father is right, Everett. Oh, yeah. Respect yourself. Isn't that by the staple singers? Don't challenge me this house while I knock it on. You're never too old for that. You hear me? Sonny, Daddy Marshall, please. No, why not? Everybody else does. You might as well get started. Sonny was just trying to tell you that. Ted, you had better take your family on home now. You want to stop and get the kids some ice cream? What are you doing standing up like that? Well, you sit back down and put on that seat belt. The worst seat belt? What? Because I told you to. Because if Daddy had to stop the car suddenly, you might get hurt. OK, Mommy. You want some ice cream? Well, what flavor do you want? Chocolate or vanilla? Boy, I wish I could be like that, Mother. But it's hard. I mean, she had the patience of a saint. And it's hard when your kids coming home saying, give me this, give me this. I want. I want you to just sort of want to just do something. I think, though, yes. But I think what we're trying to say is that it's something to strive for. You want to be able to give your child some choices and reasons for why you're disciplining yourself. So it's a long range effect. He turns into an adult who is autonomous and self-controlled. Yeah, you want him to be able to make his decisions, not out of fear or out of someone's going to smack them, but because he knows that it's right inside of him. That makes sense. You're going to see a lady in this next documentary bit here who I wish had a major part in raising my child. Amazing my child? I wish he had a major part in raising us now. Well, I think children have to grow. And part of this growth is finding inside what their strengths are. And part of this, they have to push against somebody. The discipline, I guess, comes at this stage. If you come sweeping in and just scrunch down on a child when he's pushing, and this is a lot of the children fighting one another, it's part of this pushing experience. And if you say, no, stop dead in your tracks, kid, they're not going to do it. They're going to continue resenting you, the other child. They're likely to turn around and do something equally negative. But if you come up and say, look, instead of doing that, would you like to do this or that? Their energy is then turned to making a decision for themselves. They feel as though they're sort of, they feel as though they're self-reliant because they are making a decision. And they go off happily doing something, something else that's creative. How about you both hide and I'll count? Or how about I hide and you both count? It works a surprisingly amount of time, but the trouble is it's hard work doing it, particularly at the end of the day, when you're tired, they're tired. Do you want to put them in the dishwasher? This is where I find it's very good for them to feel they're contributing to the household. They sort of feel that not only do they have a positive alternative, they're something very worthwhile. They feel good about it. I hate when you get stuck in a plant. This program has been recommended by the National Education Association.