 glad that you are joining us for hope today and you see that there's we have a new addition that he's like here with us you're gonna hear just in a moment about what he's going to be talking about today that's really going to encourage you all of you dads that are out there but I'm so happy Tom, Amanda and I we are back together and so tell us Tom. Well and this gentleman that we haven't introduced yet is uh pastor Zach Blair and we're so glad to have them. Let me ask you a question to the men out there what type of father do you want to be and what steps should you take to become the that father that you want to be? Well pastor Zach he's going to answer that for us today and uh give me one give me one like tease there Zach about what are we going to share with people today? We're going to share with uh with fathers about intentional connection. I feel that many fathers feel the need to be perfect but there's no such thing as a perfect father and we can be intentionally connected. Yeah important stuff you're going to want to hang around just in a just a minute we'll be we're going the book is called the father code by Zach Blair there is so much good stuff in here you don't want to miss it. That's right so call up those dads or brothers or sons in your life and get them to tune in the cornerstone if you don't make our morning program catch one of our re-heirs or watch us on ctvn.org at your leisure but make sure you let others know about this book because I really do believe that it's going to inspire men and we need the men I know there's been like all the women movements Sydney and I you know seeing happen but we need the men in our communities to rise up and be who they're called to be. Yeah when men get into position it makes us all a better nation it makes us all better people and so we're just so excited to have this conversation because I do think you know one thing that when in a lot of churches you see there's predominantly a lot of women but we do need the men to rise up and I know the enemy is going hard after men in these times and seasons because he knows that when you have the men at the head in the home who there's certain things that happen in the family so it's really important that we have this conversation today. Absolutely well again I would like to introduce pastor Zach Blair tell us a little bit about where you're from your church and then what's going on in your life right now. I grew up in the Ambridge little steel town Beaver County you know so you were in Belle Vernon I've never went to Belle Vernon in my life I didn't even know where that was right yeah so Beaver County boy through and through but I went to Geneva College you know I grew up and didn't I knew God but I didn't have a really strong relationship with him and I really came to the Lord at Geneva College and through the football program there Gina DeMarco's just put his arm around me and you know through the years my wife and I we served in ministry for 15 years and now we planted we planted a church about six years ago going on right now in Robinson which is great yeah that's great what's the name of your church Hill City church Hill City church yeah great well great to have you Zach let me ask you about fathers then pastors you have a lot on your plate why write a book about fathers now I just feel that it's such a need for men to have good relationships not only with their children but one another you know my heart burdens for men because we we have so much pressure on us in so many different areas and we don't really know how to connect and how to let that pressure out you know so that pressure exudes itself in in our parenting sometimes and we we want to be good dads we want to be great fathers but we just don't know how and so this book is to essentially give six timeless principles to men to hold each other accountable to in the context of groups you know I didn't write this to be a bestseller I just want to help men it should be that's it thanks but you know I just want to help men connect with each other and connect with their children and through the years of youth ministry I saw that the children who had intentional connection the father who was intentionally connected they succeeded and they made it through the most difficult times and so many stories are in that book of people overcoming and able to overcome because of the love of their father or the encouragement of their father their relationship with their father so I just wanted to put those principles out there because I saw these principles were timeless well and we're going to get to all those the the different connection points here the different you know father codes but let me ask you tell me this story because I think it's really a key in your life and in the book tell me the story about your father and his his story yeah my father is a good man he's very quiet and he's very uh he's the type of man that I've never heard anybody say anything negative about him I mean if somebody didn't like my dad there's something clearly wrong with that because he just is so kind and he serves everybody you know um and there's a part in the book where I tell the story of a little bit of frustration that I had with my dad and uh and I think we all naturally go through that we have to be honest about that there's rubs you know with with your upbringing and our parents will naturally they'll even say to us hey you know we didn't do everything perfect but just try to be better than us you know just you know and so we take those principles but we were at the we were at the uh ocean with my dad and you know he's quiet and he he's kind of slow and I'm more fast-paced and I have a lot to say and uh I'm like where's my dad right now where is he and he was he was my wife I was annoyed by it but my wife pointed out she said look at what your dad's doing and he he picked out uh independent these seashells for my kids and just one was like a strong one that was for my youngest you know one was like shimmering and that was for my middle who's super creative and then the other one was the perfect one which is for the oldest you know he likes things to be ordered and organized right and so uh he was doing that my my wife said Zach every time your dad is picking out a seashell for them he's telling you he loves you you know he's a quiet man and so he didn't say much growing up but he I learned that day he said it through his actions and I felt at that at the beach that day the Lord gave me a vision of him that gave me so much compassion for him because he was a fatherless he was a fatherless son and one of the best things that he did for me was he never left me you know he stayed with us no matter what he was always there he worked so hard to provide for us as a family and his presence throughout my life men it means the world you know it means the world he gave me something that he didn't himself receive you know and I think too many men are are stuck in well I didn't get this I didn't get this they get stuck in bitterness and they don't have a vision for their future you can't just say what you don't want to be you have to know who you want to be and my dad did that for me you know he said no matter what he didn't leave yeah and then that was his story that he didn't have that connection right with his father but that was your that's your that your first code is that we never leave we never leave yeah so let's go to the second one we're both there and present so talk about that men being there and present well you guys jump in here don't get let's get the the female perspective here as well I think we all understand how difficult it is to to be fully engaged and and there's so many distractions you know we have text message that comes through and you know social media and we have work messages emails we don't we don't have a time to disconnect and so we have to we have to have intentional time with our children we have to be both there and present you can be in the room and actually not be present with your child but you have to be physically there and also mentally emotionally spiritually there as well and that's what that principle is about yeah that's so good I know in my own household like uh growing up we like we went through some really traumatic seasons my dad did and I can remember there were moments where he'd be there but not present yes but I watched the Lord heal him really through worship because he played a guitar yeah and so like watching my dad persevere and lean into God in those hard seasons really helped shape me that you you know do that or going beyond himself to help someone else so it is imperative like for our dads to be present I love that you said that was my post this year that I just thank my dad for being present right in my life the older I get the more I just appreciate that he was present he was there and it's so important yeah and although the book is formulated a little bit more about the values of that there are intentional things that we can do to be present with our children to know and I heard one person say I spend 15 minutes of individual time with each of my children every day and if I can't do that then I'm too busy you know there's a appropriate eye contact appropriate touch appropriate attention appropriate discipline all those things help us to intentionally connect and be both there and present but we have to fight for that connection we have to fight for in fact your son said something interesting when you had a mishap with your ankle what did he say you read this book so well I appreciate it he said you know I had broken my ankle I saw I have a scar going from here to here I've played in here and I wasn't the same for about a year you know 95% use of it right now and my son said Zach dad I don't I don't mind he didn't call me Zach I don't know why that came out he said that I don't mind that you got injured and I hope I don't get in trouble I'm like you're not in trouble with me why and he said because we've been playing video games and we've been we've been watching movies together and my one of my pastors said I told him that story and like man this has actually been good for my family and my pastor said because you because he has all of you right now you know planning a church is crazy you know it's like building an airplane in midair you know it's hard to be that both there and present and sometimes it takes the circumstances of life you know in the circumstances of life God will use those circumstances to help us to reshape and and you know get back to our value yeah like Zach one thing I just appreciate because I think you're we're in the same generation are you like I was alone so I think there's a lot of men out there that unfortunately they don't have men that they don't have fathers to grow up so what are some things that you have learned in some tips and tools that you could tell young dads that are out there that might be terrified of the whole fact was like I have this child I don't know what to do what are some things that they can do to be intentional to love on yeah Sydney I think I think that's such a good question and I think the best thing that I can tell men right now is that they are the man that God has chosen for their children I'm getting all emotional thinking about it because I think a lot of times like I remember holding my son for the first time you know I was 25 years old and and I'm holding him and I'm like I'm going to ruin his life you know like I really thought that because I didn't know anything I'm like what am I going to do you know I like am I going to am I going to mess him up am I going to you know no like this child that I'm holding in my hands like God he's called me to love his child and this love that I feel it's it's it's from heaven like this love that I feel for him is from heaven and so God has he is I am the father that God has called me to you know to be you know and I'm going to I'm going to fight to be that father you know for that child I think that's so important I appreciate how like emotional you've got because I have friends I like male friends that they were like they had that moment like oh my gosh like what am I going to do like we're going to have like friends that have you know had newborns are like here we go like you you just you have the baby there's no manual right it's just like literally relying on the Holy Spirit so I appreciate like just your sincerity in your heart and just getting emotional yeah thank you yeah we're in the hospital and we have the car carrier we're about to take our son out and we're like okay so they like trust us with this child this life you know it's so overwhelming you know but it doesn't have to be you know thank you I think that's such a key I've told young guys I said none of us none of us guys are ready to be dads you know you just sort of learn as you go right you learn as you go and and you trust the Lord just like you said God's put us we're the right person for that for that that child but let me ask you about another principle and another story here our hands will bring love not pain tell me about the broken window your grandpa's broken window story because yeah I love that story yeah my grandfather was a very strong man and one of my best friends I mean I am where I am because of my grandfather's investments in me I spent almost every day with him and I remember it was on his birthday I can't remember what birthday it was but he uh I just took a walk and and I was I just found a basketball and I just kicked it you know just being a kid you know probably about 10 or 11 years old I kicked it it broke one of the windows in the shop that he had built you know and and it was his retirement he he he fixed tractors sold tractors all that stuff broke a window in the back and I was so afraid of him because he was just so strong you know like he's gonna kill me like I remember thinking that right so it's his birthday so I go in and I whisper to him and I see his coffee steaming and you know he's about to take a bite of his cake and I said I I made a mistake and I'm really sorry you know and he said well what is it I said I broke your window and in your garage and and he said let's go suss the damage so we go back out there and I thought he was just gonna you know yeah I thought he was gonna scream at me I thought he was gonna like hit me you know something like that he had never done that before obviously but uh when we went out there he just kind of smiled at it and he and he taught me how to replace a window how to fix it uh we cut up some wood and then he said hey go upstairs and get a marker for me ran upstairs grab a marker and he drew a picture on it and he said this is Papi's birthday present you know from Zach he drew a picture of both of us we were both smiling his arm was around me in the picture and then uh as I become a father you know it's my my son's probably five or four or five years old he gets a hockey puck and shoots it through my garage window and uh we did the same thing said hey go upstairs and get me uh get me a marker you know and then we drew the same thing on there you know it's powerful isn't it yeah it's grace isn't it it's a demonstration of grace I love that yeah his hands really could have brought a lot of pain you know but I saw his hands craft something and I equate his hands with love you know and and that's that's the call of fathers when our kids see our hands what are they going to think these hands embraced me these hands loved me these hands comforted me you know that's the inspiration of that so I'm just thinking of like we have a lot of children in our sphere of influence that are fatherless yeah and I love that you and your wife you know have taken in foster children but how important is that for the godly men in our communities to father the fatherless and what does that look like yeah in the very first chapter we go through the a little bit of statistics I mean I think it was 2008 the United States found the the issue of fatherless like really the epidemic of fatherlessness in our nation and with with the child who is has a father in the home they are 75 percent less likely to to be in jail incarcerated for a violent crime you know even when it comes to the the grades on the report card are better and you know this doesn't dishonor by any means single moms because single moms there's a grace and a lot of times even even with that you'll see god fills in the gaps he brings somebody in to be a father figure and when a child has that security it's my belief that with a son mom's job is to bring security in his manhood but dad's job is to teach him how to be a man and with a fatherless epidemic in the united states with father father's out boys don't know how to become men and they need somebody to be an example and even in my in my thank you in the book I have men who were father figures to me and that and they showed me how to be a man my grandfather showed me how to be a man my uncle Dave showed me how to be a man my my my father-in-law my father and my one of my pastors Larry Bettencourt they showed me what manhood was and it is vital for us to step into those roles and right now and when he's just said something like what does it mean and what does it look like to be a man can you define that because I think there's a lot of young men they hear that they're like but they don't I know like you know men in my family and just men around me they didn't have fathers around so what does that look like for some tangible things of this is what it looks like to be a man and we can talk about that for a couple hours I think right you know I love the idea of tough and tender you know I think one of the values in this as well is is that we stand guard to protect like that is a that is a job of mine to keep our family safe and you know even I can't get into too many details of fostering and all of that but there's a safety aspect of it that I can give to children as they come into our home that that I can tangibly sense whenever I hold them they feel safe right now you know and so tough and tender you know hey I'm gonna stand up for what's right I'm gonna do the right thing no matter how much it hurts me that's tough but I'm gonna do it because I'm led by love I'm filled with compassion and I think we have to understand that as men that that our role is vital and that that we can we can do the right thing no matter how much it hurts but it's let out of compassion make sense I hope I'm clear in fact I'd like you if you would look at the camera and just speak to that one out there maybe they didn't have that father figure maybe they're a man who's something something's really hitting their spirit of what you've been saying but they didn't have that father they didn't have that that person to show them and what would you give them hope about in following God's plan for them as a man yeah I would encourage you to first receive the love of the father to not be caught up in in what you didn't have but to have a vision to provide for somebody else something that you that you never got but you have to have a relationship with the father it's my belief and then also begin to look backwards and and thank God for all the men who came into your life who showed you the way to be a man and how to be a father how to be a how to be a man but you're not alone there's men everywhere who feel this way and and and don't let bitterness hold you back from who God's called you to be you have a call in your life and you have a purpose and and God has a plan for your life just lean in and and and learn to receive his love that's it that is so good pastor Zach thank you for you know with us the father guy the father code I'm sorry by Zach Blair great book uh easy read but a long application lifetime application so I highly recommend that what we're going to ask you to do now Zach is we're going to see if we can embarrass you on television here uh we're going to ask you bible questions about fathers yeah because we got this little thing we call stump the host all right so we have not seen these questions Zach certainly hasn't seen these questions but we're going to ask and we'll we'll all jump in there so uh this one first one should be easy whose name means father of a great multitude abraham abraham are we good we're good with abraham abraham all right there we go so we have like that's like from genesis 17 and verse five and here's our next question honor thy father and thy mother is one of the 10 commandments which one I'm going to say it's either two or three it's up there it's pretty high because it's the first one is it's the first one with the promise first one with the promise yeah we know that I'm going to go with two or three I'm with you on that I'm with you on that I trust that I don't have any idols and then like honor your father get it I feel like it has to be the third I'm with you on the third one look at that third of the fit oh no we did them you know with the kids I don't know I don't know I don't know for sure no then we're gonna have to go with third yep yeah all right so what does James say is the source of every good and perfect gift I got it you got it go ahead the father above yeah father above yeah father above more specific no every good perfect change is not as shifting shadows I mean that's all I got every good and perfect gift comes from the father of the father above is the father of lights no father above every good the father okay they're gonna give it to us good there we go father of lights okay I mentioned that I mentioned that yes you can go back and find father lights yeah you can access Rick it's all right we're not gonna well we're gonna dig into God's word right now we have a verse from Joshua 24 verse 15 and it says but as for me and my house we will serve the Lord and that is a wonderful choice talk to us about how important it is for every father to serve the Lord yeah I love the context of that of that scripture Joshua has taken the Israelites into the promised land and he essentially says him you're not strong enough to do this and they say yes we are we're gonna do it and he's like no you're not because you have to depend on God's strength to lead your family in that way and he said hey listen you do what you want to do I'm drawing a stake in I'm putting a stake in the ground I'm drawing a line in the sand I'm going to serve the Lord and my family's coming with me it is vital there's I think it's over 90 chance that if a father if a father follows God and draws this line in the sand that the whole thought of the whole family will but statistically it jumps down if it's any other role in the family the father's the father's role is vital yes we need our dads well we do and again so often we've we've seen where we we can impress on God or project on God the things that we felt from our own father and and I had a great dad I've said that here many times wonderful wonderful man of God but God's it was even better than my dad and God is better than your dad and God it God wants us to be those the men of God but he wants us to understand there is a father in heaven that loves you that cares for you that that that even sent his son to rescue you from where you were into the place you need to be there is a good good father in heaven there is a good good father in heaven you know one thing I just love about this whole conversation about like our heavenly father and just even want to encourage you that I know there's so many of you that are watching that did not have a father and if we can be honest and real it wasn't really a good situation but you know one thing I've just seen in the people in my life that didn't have good dads around or absent fathers is that when they knew they had the heavenly father isn't that interesting like that's a name that we can call I love sometimes in my hardship I've cried out Abba father in the lowest of my moments in my life just saying all I had to say is Abba and there would be moments where I felt his tender arms around me and just his presence and so today if you've been watching this whole program and there is this deep father wound that is in your spirit that is in your heart that is crushing we just want to encourage you today to know that there is a good good father his name is the heavenly father he is your Abba father and you can call on him at any moment in any time and he is with you and so we just want to encourage you even right now if you feel like a little burdened or heavy or this conversation is bringing up some things give us a call at our prayer line at 888-665-4483 so good Sydney I just believe that the Lord desires to do a beautiful work in and through your life and as Tom was referring to you know we need Jesus turn to him today today just run to him he's running to you the moment you glance at him his heart is for you and as pastor Zach said you know you are called for this and you've got what it takes when you lean into God to fulfill that purpose of a father in your own child's life or in another person's life so don't let this moment pass we say this often but there are times and moments where the Spirit of God is drawing us and we need to cherish those and we need to press in when the Spirit of God don't resist the Spirit of God pull let the Spirit of God pull you towards the Father towards the person that loves you the most the one that that cares for you and the one that wants to put his will and his way upon your life whatever's gone before God has a new and a perfect way for you draw to him trunk close to him today you'll find that and you'll find his heart too have a great day on tomorrow's hope today helping people connect to God through her uplifting music and heartfelt messages Christian pop artist Estella Kirk shares her music an inspirational story of overcoming fear and self-doubt by reminding us that God is with us every step of the way don't miss tomorrow's hope today television t-shirt where'd you get it I am so glad that you asked you know this is an exclusive offer for the month of June for you to receive this one-of-a-kind ctvn t-shirt you can support and support your favorite Christian television 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