 Welcome to Think Tech on OC16, Hawaii's weekly newscast on things that matter to tech and to Hawaii. I'm Elise Anderson and I'm Kauai Lucas. For our show this time, we're doing a Think Tech special, Home Alone and Homeless Alone at Christmas. What does being alone mean and what can we do about it? We want to learn more about the isolated, disconnected people alone in our community. Christmas time is different from the rest of the year. Our activities and attitudes about food, family and friends are different. It's a time of excess, if not extravagance. Too much food, too many parties and too much spending. Things go fast after Thanksgiving. We race to year's end. We connect with old friends and family and confirm our place in the community and in the firmament. We face disruptive changes, making peace with the outgoing year and preparing intrepidation for the incoming one. It can be quite stressful, but we learn to suffer that in gaiety. We make it a symphony for the senses. The food, the laughter, the carols, the children and the colorful lights and decorations. Everything gets swept into a crescendo of celebration, ending at New Year. It's the rush, the compulsion of the holidays, but with all that some people suffer in silence. They are the ones who are alone, outside the bright city lights, gift-giving and gatherings. They are not in the mainstream. They are alone through the year and now at Christmas. And at Christmas, being alone is far more poignant and painful than at any other time or season. Let's call them the Christmas Disconnected. They include the elderly, the ill, the empty nesters, the unprepared newcomers, the poor and of course the homeless. They are a large group of lonely people, even in Hawaii where we like to share aloha, especially at Christmas time. There are many people in Hawaii who do not have families here with them, and for one reason or another do not have the extended family we traditionally associate with Christmas. They are alone when the rest of us seem to be together and happy. It's easy for them to be more isolated and depressed at this time of year. Nobody wants to be a Christmas Disconnect. Nobody wants to be alone or lonely, either at Christmas or any other time of the year. How do they fare? What can we do to help them? This Christmas, ThinkTech would like to take a look at the dimensions of this problem and to determine its scope, causes and effects so that we can help the people involved and at the same time help our community deal with it. We talked to a number of people who know about this phenomenon and we learned a lot from them. Let's take a walk down that lane and study this together. First, our ThinkTech producer and host, Raya Salter, talked with Marsha Joyner and Scott Foster, hosts of Navigating the Journey on ThinkTech. Marsha told us about the isolation of military dependents. Scott told us about families who have lost loved ones due to illness. 1967 to be exact. My husband was in Vietnam and it was New Year's Eve on the mainland and I was putting together toys, you know, little boys you put together toys and there was, the directions called for a pound nut driver. So I didn't know what a pound nut driver was, so I went out in the snow, snow up to my knees and it's Christmas Eve and everything is closed and I walked and I walked and I walked and I cried and I was, you cannot believe how hard it is in moments like that. And that was the worst year of Vietnam, the absolute worst and all I could think about was that was that moment when I really missed my husband, really missed. It was, and I still do, I mean, I still get through that and telling the story. I still, all that emotion still comes up and there was one song, I'll be home for Christmas, which everybody knows and everybody sings and they don't listen to the words because if you listen to the words, incidentally the song, I'll be home for Christmas, but only in my dreams was played for the first time 18 days after the bombing of Pearl Harbor and it was on all of the radio stations, it was everywhere and when you listen to it, when you really listen, it is so melancholy. When I moved to Honolulu in 1984 from Oklahoma originally, but two years in Los Angeles, I left Los Angeles simply because people were just disappearing and dropping dead, literally, there was no cocktail then around me and it was not a happy place and I just needed to get out of LA and I came here and found that there was no, it was not talked about much here in 1984 and that's when I became a LGBT advocate activist so to speak and I worked to bring it into the consciousness of the public consciousness because it wasn't talked about and because of the reluctance for island people for the most part to talk about LGBT issues, certainly AIDS, it was a real challenge. Now it's of course more open, but yes, many, many families here were affected because Honolulu is an international port city and our rate of incidents was way up there, not like New York or Los Angeles or Houston, but way up there so yes, seeing all those people turn out for world age day was just a pleasant surprise to see. What do you think you can tell a loved one being a grandchild on an uncle at the holiday time about someone who may have been lost in the AIDS to HIV AIDS? I don't have an answer for that. It was such a horrible 20 year period, so many, so many lost, but there's a camaraderie between us that we understand and we just don't go to that grim part of it. Raya also talked with Kristi McPherson of Family Promise, part of Catholic Charities which helps homeless families with children. Well, I think the holidays for some people are a time to be merry and joyful and I think it's really hard for our families to really be joyful all the time when they're still really feeling that pressure to find a place to live for their families. So I think what we try and do at Family Promise is to help bring some joy to their lives. And we do provide a lot for them because they work really hard in trying to work. They work full time, they're employed, and they have that internal pressure to try and get out as soon as possible. So what we do is we try and take some of that pressure off for the holidays because a lot of them say, oh, I don't have any money to buy anything for my kids and I'm so strapped already and we say, you know what, don't worry about that. You've got your kids covered, you know, we have you covered thanks to the generosity of all of our partners, our community members that are just overwhelmingly generous during the holidays. So like right now we have gifts for every child that is in our program as well as families that have graduated from our program in the past year. We like to spread some holiday cheer and bring them some things too because that transition into housing is really a tough time, you know, as excited as they are to get housing. It's that realization that all of a sudden I have to pay rent, you know, and I have to pay for my electric bill and my food and all that stuff. So we try and just take some of that off of them, that pressure, which is nice that we're able to do that thanks to the community. So so many ways to volunteer and to help families sort of guide them into housing, you know, obviously we have to do the hard work, which is getting them the actual housing. But you know, I think what people find is that they want to live out their faith or whatever it is that inspires them to volunteer. And there are so many ways that they can get involved like our volunteers. They love to, you know, make a nice warm meal for the families when their whole site is hosting, you know, like their church or their temple or their community place and that they are at. So they provide meals, they sleep overnight, you know, it's just, it's really just knowing that I'm helping support these families and they know that we're there to support them and we're there to help guide them and just be there for them when they're really having a challenging time. And I think it just, people feel good about it and they know that it's meaningful work and I think that's what keeps them volunteering year after year. We have some volunteers that have been doing this for over 10 years, which is amazing. Then we talked with Kimo Carvalho of the Institute for Human Services. IHS provides food, shelter and services for the homeless 24 by 7 all year round. But the problems at Christmas are more severe. What happens at Christmas time for the homeless and for that matter for people who are home alone, whatever kind of home they might have? What's your experience at IHS? So, you know, there's really a good story and a bad story. I'll start with the bad and the fact of the matter is during the holidays is actually a really tough time for a lot of our homeless clientele, especially when they're unsheltered on the streets. You know, what is consistent across every homeless individual is that they're all dealing with some kind of grief, trauma and loss. And when they're grieving and they have trauma, oftentimes the holidays triggers a lot of old memories and it gets them into a more depressed state. And oftentimes during the holidays, you see more higher rates of intoxication, higher rates of drug use, a lot more severe depression and oftentimes higher suicide rates. And so, you know, I think, you know, this is a time that we really want to come together as a community to really support them as best we can. But oftentimes we do ask the public just to, you know, be very careful and cautious because we don't, of course, want to upset anyone when they're already angry and intoxicated. And, you know, just to experience that as a public, you know, we want to just make sure everyone's safety is priority. What about the good story? So there is a good side and that is that, you know, the holidays is just a fun time for our clients who are in shelters or who recently got housed this last year. We really do support, you know, a lot of homeless clients who, you know, they really can't afford a lot to give to their kids or to give to their loved ones and friends. And so, you know, the holidays become this time where the community helps us. We've put on a holiday store where homeless people can shop and collect things to, we have a gift wrapping station. They can actually give presents to their friends and loved ones. Groups come. They not only present our clients with beautiful spreads of meals, but also, you know, they put on events for the kids. On Christmas Eve, we actually take a lot of the gifts and we deliver them to families. On Christmas Eve evening, we do have an event with Homemade Hawaii. It's called Home for the Holidays where we provide a shelter for unaccompanied youth and for homeless families. And so it really does become a fun, enjoyable time. In fact, if you go to ihshoi.org, we have what's called a Hanai page. Hanai is, you know, this word of adopting others, bringing others into your family, into your ohana. And we actually have a Hanai page very similar to an Angel Tree program where, you know, all our clients who really just need the public support to give them something that they can give to a loved one or a friend or actually for themselves. It is a place for the public to engage responsibly. And I think that is how we encourage the public to engage this holiday season. You did receive our Outstanding Community Service Award last week. It's all, it's all appropriate. We greatly appreciate it. Thank you so much. Thank you, Kima. Have a good one. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. And we compared notes with Cowie Lucas herself, who told us about the special Blue Christmas Service at Calvary By Lucie Lutheran Church. I understand that your church has a special Blue Christmas Service to bring people in who may be feeling blue. Could you tell us a bit about that? Calvary By the Sea Lutheran Church in Aina Hina. I've been there since I was in second grade, but I had a really big tragedy in my life. In 2005, my daughter died. And it wasn't just because of me by any means, but Pastor Tim started doing a service before Christmas called Blue Christmas for people who wanted to connect with that, with a Christmas, but for whom going to a Fa La La La La, kind of a Christmas service, really is inappropriate. He created this Blue Christmas Service for people who are going through some sort of, you know, some kind of challenge. And it's a beautiful thing. We're not the only one who has it. I know that Central Union also has a Blue Christmas Service. And it's just a really great way of connecting with that hopeful message of Christmas without the usual tinsel side of it. And also, too, you know, there can be triggers if you've always done this kind of Christmas service with your loved one who is not there anymore. Do you still participate in the Blue Mass? I didn't this year. I sometimes do and sometimes don't. As the years have gone on, I sometimes don't want to connect with the acute pain that I felt at that time. And I have a new ritual, which is since I'm in the Church's Halau, I'm always dancing hula with my hula sisters on Christmas Eve. And I just leave it at that. I don't do Christmas decorations or anything like that. But on the 24th, I dance with my hula sisters. I think that's beautiful. And I can't thank you enough for sharing that lovely and deeply personal story. We ended our inquiry with Kaylee Iakina, host of Ehana Kako here on Think Tech. He spoke about the Hawaiian tradition of including strangers at your table and in your home. I think one of the things that's happened is the holiday season has moved away from bringing families together as much as they used to come together. Part of the reason is the economy. Many children have to move away to the mainland. They stay there after college. And it's very prohibitive to travel back to Hawaii. It's also prohibitive to travel between the islands because we don't even have a ferry system. And in addition to that, the cost of living has gone up. So Christmas isn't so easy to celebrate. I do think the economy does have an impact upon how well people celebrate this season. Well, we have rich cultures here in Hawaii. I'm part of the Hawaiian and Chinese culture. And we always open our tables, open our homes during the holiday season to other people. I think what we're recognizing now is that there are greater numbers of people in need, the homeless individuals whom we now see more frequently out on the streets. And so it's a challenge for us because many of us would like to open our homes up. But it's a little uneasy because we don't know who these people are. It's not like the friendly hobo of maybe living down the street. Today we see people in desperation. And so I'm very grateful for opportunities to work with church groups and community groups to feed the hungry on Thanksgiving and Christmas. But that is something that has become a little uncomfortable for everyone here in Hawaii. I think that we have to create new opportunities. Families that may never have thought of going down to a shelter or a soup kitchen, as they're called across the country, may want to incorporate that into their holiday celebrations. And I think that that is something that's evolving and becoming more important in our society today. On balance, it's not a happy story. There, but for the grace of your God, go us all. And that means we should all be thinking about how to help the Christmas disconnected and everyone who is alone and isolated this time of year. Should we be doing more for them? Who among us should step forward? Is the aloha spirit still alive in us? Or have societal changes left all that behind? You choose. The problem is not just case by case or individual by individual. It affects everyone. We want a happy, healthy community at Christmas and all year round. The growing number of people home alone or homeless alone erodes our collective self-esteem and essential aloha. Fixing this is everyone's job. After all, here in Hawaii, we all need to take care of each other, don't we? Now that we have inquired, we have learned. So what has it been like for you? What have you learned in your travels on this subject? I think one of the things that stands out is that we all want to be a part of a healthy, vibrant community. And the health and vibrancy of our community depends on the health of each and every one of us. So it is important to think about ourselves, our families, our extended families, and each other, all of us at the holidays. One of the things we talked about here is that you might want to consider giving a contribution to your favorite charity in the thought that that would help the people who are home alone or homeless. But there's another kind of contribution. It's more of a psychic kind of contribution, a spiritual one, if you will, where you make this contribution every day in every way and everything you do, everybody you talk to. So how do you feel that that contribution should be made? I think you raise a very important point. And I think, especially at the holidays, people do want to discover more about what's the real meaning of the holiday, what's the real meaning of Christmas. I think we understand that it can be very commercial, it can be very busy. And so yes, people do take the time to give to charities, and they should continue to do that. People also take the time to volunteer, and they should continue to do that as well. One of the things I think I definitely learned from this inquiry is, yes, there are those who are very isolated and very vulnerable and in tremendous need. And we need to be thinking about them and reaching out to them in the holidays. But in addition, this really touches everyone. It's everyone's life. It is not just another person that you can point to and say the tragedy is happening elsewhere. The truth is, is that at the holidays, a lot of people who may be feeling blue are keeping that to themselves, are putting on a false smile. And I think getting to what you mean about that psychic contribution is, can you just take some time to reflect and think, who is it who might need a little support on something special? Think of that person who may have lost a child around the holiday times, or someone you know is sad, or someone who may have experienced a difficulty, perhaps lost a parent at the holiday times and has a hard time facing it. And when you think about those folks, go ahead and reach out. Make that phone call. I'm thinking about you. I'm thinking about you at the holidays. I know this can be a hard time. Let's Palhalla, let's have a cocktail. Show up, come visit. On New Year's Day, come visit on Christmas Day. What a lovely idea. Make that call. And now let's take a look at our Think Tech calendar of events going forward. There's so much happening in Hawaii. Sometimes things happen under the radar and we don't hear much about them, but Think Tech will take you there. Remember, you can watch Think Tech on OC16 several times every week to stay current on what's happening in government, industry, academia, and communities around the islands and the world. Remember also that Think Tech broadcasts its daily talk shows live on the internet from 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. on weekdays. Then we broadcast our earlier shows all night long and on the weekends. And some people listen to them all night long and on the weekends. If you missed a show or if you wanna replay or share any of our shows, they're all archived on thinktechhawaii.com and YouTube. For our audio stream, go to thinktechhawaii.com slash radio. Think Tech has a high tech green screen First Amendment studio at Pioneer Plaza. 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Remember, you can watch ThinkTech on OC16 several times every week. Can't get enough of it just like Kaui does. For additional times, check out oc16.tv. For lots more ThinkTech videos and for underwriting and sponsorship opportunities on ThinkTech, visit thinktechhawaii.com. Be a guest or a host, a producer or an intern and help us reach and have an impact on Hawaii. Thanks so much for being part of our ThinkTech family and for supporting our open discussion of tech, energy, diversification and global awareness in Hawaii. You can watch this show throughout the week and tune in next Sunday evening for our next important weekly episode. I'm Elise Anderson. And I'm Kaui Lucas. Aloha everyone.