 Hey there friends, how's it going? My name is Kevin and today we're playing Thimbleweed Park. You know what, really when you break down that name I hate everything. I hate parks, I hate marijuana, and I hate thimbles. But maybe if we put them all together it might be an enjoyable experience, you know? So let's start up a new game. Gonna need some sound. Casual mode or hard mode. What am I feeling like today? Am I feeling pretty hardcore? I do have my gaming headset on, but I'm not an experienced adventure gamer, so you know what, I'm gonna go with casual. You know, at some point in my life I stopped playing games on the hardest difficulty and started going for the easiest, and I'm not sure when that happened or what caused that. Maybe it's when no one cared that I completed nearly all the Call of Duty's on the hardest difficulty. No one even cared! Mom! Park's close, let's go home. Sorry guys, video's over. Nothing I can do. So this is what a lot of fields like to be a protagonist in like mid-2000 games. Like in a fable or something and there's a small fence and you're like, well, that's what I can do. Is that me? I hope that's me. He kind of acts like me. I could really go for some Wienerschnitzel. This could be me too. He does sound exotic like I do. Willie, alright. Pull Willie. I'm such a child. I swear my humor used to be more sophisticated, but I don't know what happened. I'm glad Chuck is dead. Me too. I don't even know who he is, but I'm just glad to hear that. Push him. Push him. I just want an answer. Go on, push him for an answer. What am I getting myself into? For your own protection, leave your ID in your hotel room. Go to the river down by the bridge. God, this is how people get killed and then people are reading the paper like, why the hell would he do that? Of course you were gonna get killed. Pick up that thing. Yay, vandalism. Where the hell am I going? Oh my god. This seems like a really bad idea. Our sewer entrance. Fantastic. Oh wait, what was that? Alright, well he got what was coming to him to be honest. What was he expecting? I've related to two characters so far. One of them is a drunk and he passed out and the other was a German fellow who is now dead. Right, let's take a little picture together. We'll do a selfie. It only contains one photo. Well, we better make it a good selfie then. Alright, say cheese. Oh, that's a good selfie. Memories, huh? Off I go. Just leaving the body in the water. I kind of left the other lady. Should I just go? I'm not sure. Oh fuck and hell, dude. Get off the road. Signals are very strong tonight. What? Oh, there were pigeons in the van. Oh, okay. That's a bit of a twist. Is this like some alternate reality? Should I shit on their car? For fuck's sake, you're wasting my time. This is really odd. Should I save my game? You almost ran over a federal agent. That is a felony. Honestly, I think you're in the wrong. We were walking on that country road just in the middle of the road. That nice. We don't know anything about a dead body. Oh, you want to go see it? I just left it there with no cover or anything if you want to take a look. What? Oh my god, they're really into this, aren't they? I don't think this is about pigeon brothers plumbing, to be honest. I think you just get a sick thrill out of this. I wish I had another picture. No one's gonna believe me that I saw this. Should I have told the other lady to follow me? I just left her with the body. Oh my god, they almost hit me again. Wait up, beaker beaver. Oh, good, she followed me. Okay, that's a relief. Let's head into the neighborhood. God, this place is a crappy town. Oh, good. The sheriff. Howdy. I don't remember calling the fed arenos. I like him already. It's nice to talk to someone who's making sense and isn't in a pigeon outfit. Looks like you heard about our little murder Reno out by the bridge, huh? The fact he says little murder Reno, though, is kind of worrying. Let's find the corner and get you on your way. Sounds fantastic. This guy's helpful. Are we authorized to shoot people arenas? I like her already. Howdy, who? Wait, you're the same guy. You just changed outfit. This guy says a who a lot instead of Reno's. Aren't you the sheriff for Reno? Oh, my no. No, no, no. Okay, well, that's good enough for me, I guess. Plus, the sheriff has that annoying arena. He adds to everything. That's a good point. Actually, it can't be the same person. This game's weird. Tell us about the fingertron 3000. Right, Reno. Wait, hold on a second. He said right, Reno there. That's what the sheriff says. I'm using all their computers. I don't know what it's doing, but I just want to start using them. Sorry, I'm a bit of a boomer when it comes to computers. I don't know what's going on. All I know is it's making a loud noise is probably using enough power to give the whole town a blackout. But they're shaking so much. I just think they're futuristic washing machines, to be honest. Let's go back to the sheriff. God, he must have a fecking quick change act if he's already after changing back. Yeah, there he is, of course. The thing is, I bet there's going to be another scene where both of them in it. They will actually be different people. Plus, the coroner has that annoying ah-hoo. He adds to everything. And he does have a good point. He does do that a lot. Oh my God, it's those damn pigeons again. Are you peeing? Oh, no, okay, it was a fire hydrant. I couldn't see. I thought you just had some serious power. Oh, sewer great. Open that bad boy. Oh, god damn it. I'm going to go on to the edge of this cliffside, and I'm not going to bring ID with me. I'm just going to make it easy for this killer. Whoa, there! Oh my God, he's fecking everywhere. All right, now that he's gone, I'll walk back out. Oh, for fuck's sake. For the sole police officer in this town, and a guy who's moonlighting as the coroner, he is really on top of just everything. Unfortunately, he's not allowing me to explore the county unless I have a map, which seems kind of, you know, against the whole idea of a free country. But I'll leave. I don't want to fight that guy. It would be two against one, you know, with him and the coroner. Welcome to Quickie Powell. Oh, great. A convenience store. Now, I can do the lottery and buy a man-eating plant. Do you have any maps of the county? Oh, sorry, dude. We're all out of them. Sheriff Arino came by and nabbed them all. Of course he did. He's always one step ahead. That bastard. Do you know anything about the body by the river? And also that the body, like on that shelf, the rat one, that's sort of an issue as well. Like, I don't know if this falls under my jurisdiction here. I'm a federal agent. Maybe I can do something. It's an I'm sorry for being a dick card. Oh, I could use one of those. Better leave it be. Oh, no, eat me. Eat me. Push him. Push the plant. Do I have no soul or something? The door is an opening. Isn't this supposed to be an automatic door? Stop eyeing me like that. Help me out. Do you know my cousin, Bernie? Stop changing the subject. Finally, a bathroom. Well, this is fecking terrifying. Toiletron 3000. I'm going to use it in the dark. OK, much better. Sorry, he has constipation. Oh, my God, I turned on the lights and it's actually worse. Christ almighty. You wouldn't want to flush it when you're sitting on it. It would suck you right in. Got how come like so many businesses are shut down, like all over the place, like these ones, but the ones that are open seem to be open 24 seven, especially just the store that sells cakes. Wait, what kind of cakes are these? What is this? Oh, my God, my guys hyper. I wouldn't be running around in a store full of glass like that. This used to be Ricky's cakes, but now we sell vacuum tubes. That's a very specific store. What even is a vacuum tube? Oh, pleased to meet you. I'm Ricky Lee and I'm the proprietor of this little store. What can I do for you, hon? She's the only nice person so far. I unless she comes out and she's also the coroner as well. Then I think she's my favorite so far feds out now. I just got here. Who did this? I've only met like three people. Talk to lady of the evening. Hello, lady of the evening. That's quite a royal title. Do you know anything about the body by the river? Oh, sweetie. Yes, yes, yes. OK, well, I've got her. She's the killer. Wait, why are we going to a flashback? What? I'm someone else now? What? How big is this fucking house? Like, I just took over control of this person. I don't know where I'm going. It's so good, it'll kill you. But where the hell am I? I'm lost. This place is a fucking maze. I feel like one of my sims just trapped in this house with no fucking exit. What was in there? Oh, for fuck's sake, where am I going? OK, she had absolutely no reaction to whatever that was. What brings you all the way out here? Asking the mailman why he's all the way out here. It's like, oh, you come by here often? I mean, yeah, when I when I have to bring you mail. Why else do you think I'm here? Wait, who is this? Hold on, what are you digging? You know what? I don't have time. I got to apply for a job, apparently. Enjoy your digging in the dark. Something tells me I'm not going to solve this mystery. There's a person digging in the curtain at night. And I'm like, I don't have time. What is your name? I can't actually remember. It was Dolores something. I'll say this one. This is probably the safest one. Thank you. What is your address? Oh, God, I don't know either. Wait, they're all the same. Now, this one's shortened. I like all caps. What's your programming language of choice? The language you are most proficient in. Inglis. I'll just say all of the above. Congratulations, you passed the mucus flim programming test. No problem. I googled the answers. OK, that seems a little overkill for a printer. Like just buy a printer. Come on. Oh, there's someone at the door. It better not be that guy who was digging. That's the mailman. That's convenient. You come here often. And remember, it's illegal to open someone else's mate. Good point. I'll do it. Open. I'd better not open it. No, open it. I'd better not open it. Come on. No. God damn it. I went into the cow room again. I keep getting lost in this place. How are you the stairs? I have a fear of heights and I shouldn't be exposed to that in my own house. How's the diggin going, champ? Diggin. Diggin. Diggin. Yeah, diggin. He's like, I can turg five days later. I can still hear him digging. Has he been? He has been digging for five days. Wait, why is she dead? What was that? Did you see that? What the shit was that? So that's why he's digging. He's digging a grave for me. It's a letter from Yooka's flim. Did I? I think I want to open this in my room. All right, let's run. Enjoy your digging, sir. If I don't get the job, I might join you. I might go into a career in digging. She got the job, I assume. Yes, no digging for me. I don't like this character anymore. Not because they dance bad, just because they stole my moves. Like, look at that. That's straight out of the old Kevin textbook. All right, is he going to be dead? Oh, no, he's not dead. I was worried he was going to be dead because I was like, I really should have intervened when that guy was just digging for five days, shouldn't I? I feel like Toby McGuire when he just let that guy pass him and killed Uncle Ben. Wait, his letter's still here. It's been there for five days. What are you doing? Give, give letter. Didn't you already give that to me? I'll deal with it later. Stop kicking the can down the road, Uncle Chuck. You need to open that thing. Yes, Dolores, what is it? My dear future leader of Pillowtronics. Okay, this is awkward. Um, I got a job elsewhere. I dig for a living now. Oh, he's reading. Okay, I thought he was being suspicious. He was like kind of looking from side to side. You are dead to me. Well, that wasn't as supportive as I had hoped, but it looks like that's the flash back over. And I got an achievement saying out of the will. So I guess we know where that went to. Real life murder is the next logical step for her, sweetie. Stop her before she schemes her way into sweet Uncle Chuck's inheritance. Sure, we'll get right on that. Honestly, that was a long tangent. Like I'm investigating a murder. That just seems like gossip about your relative who wants to be a game programmer. Oddly detailed as well. Like, imagine her telling that story. Then she went for the mail and there was a man digging a hole. She waited there for days. The man continued to dig the hole. I'm a federal agent. Know anything about the dead body? Why am I showing my badge out the window? Just standing over there looking at the wall. I have a social thing with eye contact. I don't want to look at them. Oh my God, another flashback. Oh, I like this guy. Now this guy reminds me of me. It's just as pale. All right, what do I have to do is this clown? Put on my clown nose, get my beeping joke book back. What, does he censor his own notes? Get my clown fro looking beeping great. Applying my beeping awesome clown makeup. Oh my God. Oh, I live in a trailer. Okay, this is great. I just wanted to let you know that your mistress is waiting at your house in Aspen. And your private jet is being fueled and ready to whisk you there when the show is over. What, is my guy this rich? I'll push him over, push the mime. I can actually do it, that's great. Yeah, sucks to be you. Ratsum, you're a total. I think my steels are broken. That's a poor guy. Oh, hey, you owe five bucks to my swear jar. Wait, don't I owe them now as well? I think I've made a powerful enemy today. Ratsum, you jerk. Oh, I have a wall safe. Oh, I've got money. Yeah, take it. Great, I've got tons of money now. I need my feckin' makeup though. I don't know where it is. Ratsum, you jerk. Really, you're still getting mad. Get over it, that was like two minutes ago. Try your skill. I have none, but sure, let's do it. You got my money clowny. Oh, for feck's sake. That was just gonna play. I didn't realize I owed money to this dude. 1,000 clams are you not getting your joke book back. Okay, here's my joke book. Wait, how did I spend $1,000 on the doggies? I have your money. I love this character, I relate to him so much. That's only $1,000 and you owe me $1,138. For feck's sake, I'm short on funds. Let me play the doggies, I'll win it back. Will I choose to hang onto your joke book till I get the full $1,138 buck? For feck's sake, how the hell am I supposed to find $138? You got my money, ransom, the ass white clown. No, I was just talking to you. What? You, I'm outta here. There we go, that'll do it. I'll steal your clown nose again, that's what I'll do. Shut up. There we go, I'm just putting out my clown nose. There we go, walk to goddamn makeup. Yeah, can we use that? The goddamn makeup, is that the brand, I assume? Now there's the face I love. Yeah, I'm the Joker, baby. My hair is all frizzy. I can't go on like this. Gotta groom it up so I don't look like a wanker. What? Wait, why wasn't the second one bleeped? It was just the first curse word. I don't wear a hat. All right, relax, you don't have to. Oh, the swear jar, that should've done some money in it. It's exactly $1,138 in unmarked bill. Perfect, okay, we got the money I needed. So now I just need to get my joke book and then get on stage. PS, my life is amazing and BPU for being jealous. I wasn't reading that, I was just saying in general. Look at joke book. It's my joke book. Yeah, I know. It's my joke book. It's my joke. It's my joke. It's my joke. I'm just gonna enjoy this. This is like music to me, I like it. All right, I gotta get on stage. The people love me. Walk to big top entrance. I can't walk in through the main entrance like a tuna-headed pleb. Oh yeah, good idea. I gotta go around too. All right, you ready, folks? Here we go. The grand show we've all been waiting for. Oh, God damn it. I can see the police chief or maybe the coroner. I'm not sure. I was hoping I'd see both of them and then it would be mystery solved. Call them inbred freaks. They're all a bunch of inbred freaks. Yeah, they love that. There wasn't even a joke. It's just a plain insult. The low IQ, the weird speech patterns, the same ugly face. If that ain't just one weirdo, somebody definitely their sister. Okay, at least the clown knows what's going on too because there's something weird with that police chief. God, there are a lot of dead air here. He's not saying anything. What should I do next? Call them fat. They'll appreciate that. He started laughing before I even said the insult. All right, who am I gonna pick on? Stupid muster. The kid with the crappy wheelchair. They'll love that. Hey you, kid with a crappy wheelchair. He's still smiling. He's like existence is pain. Seriously kid, you're in a wheelchair and you got a face that looks like that. God's definitely punishing you for something. Oh my God, he's crying. Why is the whole crowd laughing at this? I don't understand the appeal of his act. I curse you to never be able to remove your makeup and to roam these circus grounds until the end of time. That person just cursed me. Maybe I'll just go back to picking on the guy with the mustache. He went on for another two hours insulting everyone he could. Some people laugh because they thought it was funny, but most laugh because they were uncomfortable and laughing is the best way to hide from the embarrassment of others. Ah, it all makes sense now. So that's why you laugh at my jokes. You're all just sitting there uncomfortable. Don't know how to change the video. You're just like, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh. Now to get this makeup off, hop on my private jet and go see my mistress, Cindy, and husband, yeah. How is he so famous just from insulting people? It must work. You, you are shit. I feel kind of bad and I don't think it's helping me get any, any fame. So I take it back. It looks like he's having a bit of a crisis. I think that curse worked. It's just scrubbing away. It's not doing anything. To be fair, that was entrapment. Why did she show up to that show knowing I was going to be insulting everyone and then freak out? This makeup of that old bitch. Okay now, now I'm freaking out. Oh God, he's pissed. Your private jet crashed while trying to land. Your wife found out about your mistress and she's taking everything you own except the house and aspen. There was a fire in aspen and your house burned to the ground. The toy and doll licensing deal is dead and they're suing you for breach. And one more thing, I quit. Okay, this is a rough day. He's literally steaming. Don't beep yourself. Hey, don't beep myself. Beep you, buddy. That was an entertaining flashback. I get a lot of detail in there. Am I guys still just staring out the window? He's probably asleep standing up. I got an achievement, beephole. And at that I think it's a good time to end the video. I look at that guy's just in the background smiling, cooking away, loving his job. Also there's flies on your, there's flies on the, you know what, never mind. All right, we're gonna end it there. I hope you enjoyed. Let me know if you'd like to see more of this. I will probably play more of it, whether it be on my channel here or maybe on my Twitch, which is in the description as well. But yeah, we're gonna leave it there. I appreciate you watching, folks. I really do. I hope you enjoyed it and I hope to see you next time. But that's about it. Bye for now.