 It's going to share that in my experience with my family, I noticed for the week that as long as my mind was my single focus was forgiveness and joining, like I just kept hearing the word joining, joining, and then it just appeared to be the right time to go up, I really didn't have an agenda to go up other than to see them and join with them. And as I surrendered to that, what you were saying, I noticed that yeah, the gentleness of this experience, this experience, this holy encounter, this holy encounter, and I think the difference for me this time was I surrendered my agenda of who needed saving, like when I look at it now, in the past I would have gone up there, oh it's you that needs saving, it's you that needs saving, I'm the one that doesn't need saving, it's them. Yeah, just the allowance of the healing, it wasn't done by me, it was absolutely done by spirit, as long as I stayed out of the way, and that was my honest surrender. Beautiful, it's like you can let go of the agenda then, it is so miraculous what flows from that, because Jesus is saying forgiveness is quiet and silently does nothing, it just looks and waits and watches and judges not. The other part he says the miracle does nothing, all it does is undo. You start to, we were talking about early stages of forgiveness and then more advanced stages, early stages you can seem to identify a process that your mind goes through, almost like a mental process, almost like a reversing cause and effect and drawing it back to your mind, taking responsibility for your emotions and your thoughts and handing it over, but then when you get closer and closer to that no agenda moment, it's almost like forgiveness, you start to experience it in a much deeper way, it's like a very passive state of mind, not to say that there can't be a component that's involved where you do speak or you read something or you say something, so we're not talking passive in terms of behavior, but we're talking about a passive state of mind, a very tranquil still mind, it simply does not have an agenda, it's just so joyful and so present and then everyone can seem to do whatever they seem to do and there's this gracious sense of presence there, because you don't have this agenda to fix somebody, change somebody, tell somebody something that they don't know, that they need to hear and all this and that, the ego's agenda is the problem and when we let go of the agenda it's really glorious and what happens is you, it's not like you're stopping judging, it's just like you're in a state that's prior to judgment, it just doesn't have any judgment in it, it's so accepting. I remember I've had times where I visited people and I just had this feeling of just extending love and nothing else, so I'm not going there to play the meditysical doctor or the teacher who's got something to teach or this and this, there's just no rules, no agendas there, it's just this beautiful state of acceptance and presence and then regardless of what's going on with the conditions of the body, what the world would call good or bad or fat, ugly, skinny, all the different none of that's there, then you just can be so fully available in that presence and that's what the healing is, in the end even healing is not a process, it's just a state of mind, peace and healing are the same, when you're at peace you're healed, you know it's not about then trying to say but what about the body and this and that, it's the perception is healed, the perception is unified, you're seeing it as a whole, you're not trying to break apart off here or fix apart here or approve, there's no improvement in healing, you don't have a drive to improve, so as you go through this phase of mind training you still will go through discernment phases, like one of them for me was this best use of time, well it can still have an ego trying to get in there with this best use of time, not going there, it's not the best use of my time, not going here, not going to see the family, that's definitely not the best use of time you know the ego can come in with a kind of a firm, like an axe of saying no cut this off, cut that off, almost like partitioning very subtly aspects of the world that are negative, that are to be avoided at all costs and then there's those all favorable places, oh yeah, I can go there, that's no problem, that'll be a good use of my time but that still is dividing the world up into pieces and trying to be attracted to some pieces and avoid and be repulsed by other pieces and in the end that all collapses on itself too you know, where Jesus says the holiest spot on earth is where an ancient hatred has become a present love where before you had judged and now you see that you're not, you're not in that so to me those are those subtle aspects of mind training where it seems practical at some point to be watching your use of time and then after a while you get more to the surrender and follow mode where it's like you're just carried along and you're not trying to divide the world up into the good, the bad or even the good uses of time, the bad uses of time that can be a very subtle trick of the ego that tries to divide things up