 One of the best ways of getting new clients and opportunities for your business is to Reconnect with the people that you already know and you probably know At least a hundred people on a first-name basis studies have shown that the average person in the modern world knows a hundred and fifty people Actually, that's not even yeah hundred and fifty people on a first-name basis But I think that the study with a hundred and fifty is that human beings evolved in tribes Around a hundred and fifty people. So that's kind of a very common Circle of Acquaintances and friends and family and colleagues and classmates et cetera et cetera so one of the best ways is to reach out to your existing network and in a caring way and to reconnect to see how you can help one another and You know oftentimes referrals can come from there now The thing though is typically the way that it's taught how to reconnect with your network is very Tactic-based. It's like use the script You know do this so that other people will do that and the problem with tactics Is that it takes the heart oftentimes it takes the heart and the caring out of it and it feels off To you and to the person that you are reaching out to Recently I got an email a reconnection email from an old colleague and It was an exact example of what not to do So I'm going to share that email with you and I'm going to kind of talk you through why it didn't work Okay, so the email subject line was hi George That's email subject line now whenever there's an email subject line like hi George it makes me suspicious right away because Oftentimes spam emails are start like that like when you email an old friend. I don't know you could say hi George, but I Don't know. It's just It's more like long time. No reconnect or long time. No see like Blast from the past or something anyway, so that the hi George sounds Feels too hot. It's like they're trying too hard to make it customized Okay, now let me keep going the email. This is what the email message said George. Hope you're doing well Okay, that's how it starts now. That's fine kind of generic But you know and that could see someone who hasn't contacted me in a while personally saying that okay next is I remember when you had initially come on my show you had a podcast I spoke on when I was just starting out and I always appreciated your advice back then Okay, now it would be even better if he had said Especially your advice about this or about that that was really helpful for me because as a result I've done this or done that now. That's like the ideal thing, you know when you appreciate someone's advice It's even better to say as a result. I've done this, you know because of your advice, right? Anyway, let's let's keep Let's keep going He and then he the next very next thing he says is I can clearly see you have invested time and effort into your videos Sharing your message with your audience. Are you happy with the exposure you're getting and Once I see that I'm like, oh my god. What's what's going on here? Is he Starting to want to sell me something. Okay And then he goes have you considered sharing your customer stories through a podcast platform of your own and That already that now this is being the sound generic and salesy first of all I don't call my customers customers. I call them clients and Anybody who serves people one-on-one calls their people clients or patients instead of customers So this is already sounding like he copied and pasted this from somewhere else Also if he had bothered to do a little bit of research on me He would have known that I had a podcast for a whole year already in 2014 I had a podcast for a year and recently I you know, I've been thinking about having a podcast again but I surveyed my audience and You know, I I'm already doing so much, right? But I'm like, okay audience if if you if you think you might be willing to pay for a podcast And I might be willing to do it but already I do it in so many ways And of course my audience came back and said no don't worry about the podcast We were getting enough from your articles and from your videos and I can just listen to your videos So that's my own just FY about why I haven't started the podcast Recently anyway, so the next thing he wrote was can I record a quick video for you to show you why? I believe you're not getting far more exposure and engagement on the awesome content. You're creating Okay, so immediately what he's doing here is seeding myself doubt and This is what most marketers do most marketers use what's called FUD fear Uncertainty and doubt that's what marketers want you want to make you feel if you feel through the marketing copy Oh fear. Oh, I'm not I'm not I'm leaving money on the table or this might happen to me But I don't use this product or service my business might fail, you know, blah blah blah Or uncertainty like yeah, maybe I'm not I'm not maybe I'm not doing things as well as I could and doubt like yeah Maybe my methods suck or whatever and marketers do that so that you'll buy their program You buy their service and you'll turn over your own inner authority to them marketers want you to Distrust your inner I'm not saying marketers everybody but most marketers, right and you probably agree with me, right? I don't know the let me know what you think the most marketing Tries to get us to question our own inner authority and believe them the marketers authority so that the marketers can control us That's what marketers want. That's what business coaches business experts. They essentially their dream They don't tell you this and you know, it's this many words But they're dream the way that they set themselves up as a guru and as a you know highly successful What are they doing they're saying believe me don't believe yourself what I say you should do okay, do everything I tell you to do and If you do it you will succeed and they're confidence, you know, one of the things that I Realize over the years, you know what makes the most money confidence That's it not knowledge not knowledge. What gets you money and power? For sure is confidence now, that's not if you're not confident. I'm not saying you won't make money or gain power There are plenty of humble, you know Mr. Gandhi over here on the side or peace pilgrim They had a lot of power over people, but they were extremely humble That's what I'm aiming for in my own life, too. How can I be humble and self-deprecating and asking you to Go towards your inner authority and not just believe what I say. How can I how can I model that and still have? positive Influence on people because they want to not because I tell them what what they should do right so Marketers to set themselves up as you know six fever seven figure eight-figure earner and they're so you know Polished and they look amazing on their website so that they can control your mind You know that you don't you'll do what they tell you so that you'll go by anyway It's a lot of usefulness and being able to control you, right? So anyway, so let me let me let me keep going here And by the way just to give some context this guy the very last time The very first time that I interacted with this guy was he invited me to to speak on his podcast And he was very you know flattering and like I spoke on the podcast It was great and then soon after I spoke on his podcast not long afterwards He asked me if I would promote his new program promote his new coaching program and he even said well You know many of the other podcast guests are promoting So will you promote it too and it already felt off like listen I'm going on your podcast in part to do you a favor because you're brand new and you know And I'm going to promote the podcast episode and and now you're asking me to promote and almost making me feel bad If I didn't promote you that your program, okay? And then now many years later He's coming back with this message to me to try to flip things and like trying to mentor me on marketing and all that stuff when he Hasn't doesn't even know hasn't even gotten any hello from me yet. Okay, so he goes on to say I Spotted a few things that you appeared not to be doing or at least not doing to the same extent as other coaches I've seen that I think is severely Impacting how many people are seeing and finding out about your values of authentic marketing Let me know if you'd like me to show you what I mean thoughts You know and he signs off Amazing right like haven't heard from this guy in years and now he's telling me You're not doing things well and you could be doing you could be you're leaving so much money on the table or essentially that's what he's saying if he Took the time to consume some of my content. He would know that that's not what I'm about I don't want to do the same thing other coaches are doing That's a depth like almost like the exact thing I'm not trying to do is do what other coaches are doing Which is to set themselves up with like like some guru and you know use really clever video titles, right? super clever video titles and video calls to action and blah blah blah blah all the stuff that To be honest Feels manipulative to me. Not that it has been you know good titles don't happen to be manipulative But many video titles are clickbait. Okay, email subject lines, etc. So Okay, so the last thing he does he gives me a ps this is in case you're wondering if this is some kind of generic email Here's the best I could think of to prove to you that it's not I wouldn't do that to you and he puts an image of One of my screen capture of my videos and with a post-it note That's his high George and he's obviously analyzing my videos with the stats and everything Third I'm like, okay Fine, but an assistant could have taken that picture because his face was not in the picture And it would have been so much more thoughtful if you wanted to show me that it was a really personalized thing to record a One-to-two minute video attach it to the email. Yes, you can do that That's that's not a bad idea. In fact, if you haven't seen someone in a while, you know Or if you just want to really you know make it personal Record a one minute one minute videos not too long and just say hey George just wanted to reconnect been a while I really appreciate what you said in the past about this I ended up doing that anyway I just want to reconnect with you and see what you're up to these days and how I might be able to help you and I want to share what when I'm up to if you're you know, you might be able to help me out, too You know, and that's a that'd be a really nice message whether it's done in video or in an email And just to get on a phone with someone get on a zoom call with someone Before you pitch them about your service in a sitting in the first email, right? And so Let me kind of start to wrap this up by By saying this, you know how I started this video saying that it's great to reconnect with the people that you know because we're Well, I didn't say this earlier, but this is important to remember the people that you know Don't remember what you do for a living Unless you are a plumber or a real estate agent or a you know a family doctor or something That's so obvious so mainstream that oh, yeah family doctor. Oh, yeah plumber. Oh, yeah, real estate agent, right? That's very very common and it's like easy to remember But if you are some kind of holistic healer if you are an authentic business coach if you are a relationship coach I mean anything out of the ordinary. Yes, even a relationship coach is not normal still It's not mainstream people don't remember what you do even your mom doesn't remember what you do Okay, I mean my mom doesn't even know what I do. I tried to explain to her so many times, right? But it's like Even your friends don't really totally remember what you do if you don't believe me ask them Hey, can you describe what I do? It'll be like I think you do this. Is that right? You know seriously they don't people don't remember your friends and colleagues and family members They're not thinking about what you do all the time you are so if you're thinking about what you do Of course, you think they are thinking of what you do They're not and so when they come across somebody who needs what you offer they don't think of you They don't think of you accept if you recently reconnected with them And then you had a conversation and they relearned about what you do then almost certainly you will get referrals in the next You know a couple of days or a couple of weeks from that person or a much higher chance that you will so it's great to reconnect with people but Not to use it as a tactic to say gosh, I hope this person refers me business I mean you could do that, but it just especially those of you watching this and me it feels kind of off So what do we do instead? Here's what we need to do instead We need to get back into our heart of caring and liking other people If you genuinely like somebody right of course you'll want to keep in touch and you want to keep in touch more as a sense of appreciation and like Playfulness and friendship like hey, I really Like what you posted on Facebook recently. That was really great like a sense of like hey I really like you and yes, if you feel like hey, let's get on the chat. We haven't caught up in a while Let's catch up for a while right let's catch up and in the catch up Of course, you're gonna mention you're gonna ask them what they're doing now and you can mention what you're doing and and it'll be very friendly and There's there's a genuine sense of enjoyment is what I'm saying rather than I'm using a script to get someone to you know a friend an old friend to refer me or an old colleague or whatever it is Okay, so what we need to do is what life what spirit is calling us to do Which is to love more and Guess what I'm talking to myself too. I have been so focused on my business in the past couple of years and Really in the past ten years I've been so focused on my business that oftentimes I have forgotten to reconnect with my heart of Caring for individual people in my network to remember to like them again to remember what I like about them again So that's my challenge for you and my homework if you choose to accept it my mission for you Should you choose to accept it? Is to look at your network again look at your Facebook friends look at the people that you text message with look at the people in your That you email your no I mean people who haven't emailed you in a while you haven't emailed in a while You might have a spreadsheet of contacts or you might have some way, you know phone address book or something look at your contact list again and look at as you look at each person think about what you like about them and Just Find your enjoyment for that person again and then reach out because of that enjoyment not because ooh, they might refer me some business love again and Love doesn't require a referral Love doesn't require that person to even write back to you Love is simply. Hey, I just I'm thinking about you. I really appreciate this about you and if you're up for it Let's have a reconnect call, but just that's all I wanted to say hello and help you doing great And if there's anything you can help me I can help you with let me know if what's going on in your life Can I pray for you? You know what's going on in your work? Is there something I can help you with there? Or you need you need referrals. Do you need clients? How can I help or not just how can I help it really? I like you that's the core message, but that I like you isn't the tactic it comes out of a genuine Enjoyment of that person genuine care and that's what we need more of and that's I say this all the time And I think this is true here, too Business and work is a stage for our personal growth Business and work is not about making money. It's not just about of course You're gonna make money. Of course, you hope that your business is sustainable, right and thriving Yes, of course, you'll make money and get clients and do Facebook ads and do content and all a blah blah, but all of that I Hope you'll remember and I will remind you as often as I can That it is just a stage for your mindfulness for your humility for your courage for your Learning forgiveness for your learning love most of all, how can I love people more? How can I love others and serve others more? Regardless of what happens Regardless of what happens Now it just so happens that if you do that people tend to love you back and your business tends to thrive But if you use it as a tactic, that's where everything falls apart You can't use it as a tactic. It has to be genuine. It has to be authentic it has to be an authentic business and The authenticity comes out of the reconnection with your deeper self with your higher self however you want to call it so Come back to our heart of love and our heart of caring look at our network find our enjoyment and I'm not saying by the way. I should clarify this I'm not saying you should look at your network and reconnect try to read try to re-love and reconnect with every single person there. No You probably know a hundred two hundred maybe even five hundred people. So look down the list of people Here's what you do you look down the list of names and as soon as you come to a name where you feel something You feel like ooh, there's a genuine sense of connectedness there Okay, then Reconnect with the thought about that person why you like that person why you why you want to support that person's mission in the world and Then reconnect from that place of love Regardless of what happens regardless of they even write back to you Okay, but then seeing the message maybe they're too busy to write back I don't know but then seeing the message is a blessing already and even if they don't see the message Your thought vibrations of love and enjoyment of that person is a blessing for them in ways that you cannot imagine So don't reconnect as a tactic certainly don't do what this person has done unto me and And even so I wish well of him Who knows he might even be seeing this video and if so I truly wish you the best So Anyway, I hope this is helpful and I guess I'll might want to thank those of you who are here with me live Ginny and Shweta. Thank you I just actually had an interview with Shweta and I'm excited to share her her interview with you in a couple of days from now Gudrun captain Miriam Thank you so much and there's a name in Hebrew here. I can't pronounce because I don't know Hebrew. Sorry And just wants to Say call for some of the comments here Yeah, I suggest to unlearn to learn yeah, so Shweta says unlearn to learn We have to unlearn so much of what the marketing experts are telling us so that we can relearn What feels really right to our souls our hearts and from what feels really right? How can we love our audience and connect with them in a way that's truly caring and if we do that? Allow the natural reciprocity to happen. Okay, allow it to happen and love no matter what thank you And Shweta says true confidence. Yeah, true confidence is Reconnecting with your inner authority. That's where true confidence is right and true confidence in connecting with somebody is when you love them And you enjoy them without an agenda That's true confidence right in networking and connecting Thank you captain for your comment there. Thank you Miriam Captain says did you reply? No, I didn't reply. I don't I just I Don't even want to reply and send him this video or my blog post about it because I think that would be Maybe too much for him right now because he's he's in a state of like getting business and you know and guess what? I was like that too So this person is not bad, you know, this person is not you know evil. No, this person is simply young That's all they are. They're just young. They're just at a level of development that I know I was there I was there for sure. I was there and sometimes I have the danger of slipping back You know growth is not only like this It's like this, you know, and then hopefully the trajectory is going up eventually, but it is you know come we come back to bad habits occasionally, right so Elizabeth, thank you as well. All right, everybody. I wish you a joyful resourcing Wherever the true and deepest and unlimited source of your love and joy and peace is and confidence I hope and pray that you will reconnect with that today and every day Wish you well