 Totally kick-ass dude. Next up we have Jason Savage, former 20-month convention speaker from 2009 in Orlando. He's now a couple thousand miles away in Stockholm, Sweden. Jason Savage has been a romance artist and seduction specialist for over a decade. He's taught the process of seduction all across North America. For the past three years he was called Austin, Texas home. Now he's given up all his material possessions to create the Association for Applied and Therapeutic Seduction and his new travel series, Lovers Without Borders. Got it. It was like what? Long story short, this guy's a total badass. One of my favorite guys from last year. I really appreciate you coming, man. Thanks. Thank you. Kick some ass, man. Alright. Thank you guys. Thank you so much. I can't even fucking believe I'm here. This is insane. To be in one of the most beautiful countries in the world surrounded by beautiful people and I can't even express the appreciation I have to be able to stand here and share with you my passion and appreciation and gratitude I have for Anthony for putting this together and the respect and appreciation I have for you guys for attending for coming together. It's just an honor. It's a blessing. It's very flattered to be here. The title of this speech, it's going to kind of seem like it's all over the place. The title of this speech is Seduction is a Gift and I'm going to talk a lot about seduction. I'm going to talk a lot about escalation. I'm going to talk a lot about how seduction differs from the process of pickup. And I'm going to talk about exactly how each of these things are gifts and how we share these gifts. But another word that resonates with me, another word that's come into my life recently that you never associate with the pickup community or the seduction community or any of the stuff that we do in the social realm, the sexual realm or the seductive realm is a word ordination. Ordination like to be ordained. And so weird word because we associate this with like clergy with like religion. But if you look at like the classic symbolic historic root of this word, it really means to be respected, to be appreciated, to be recognized for gift. And each of us, we have these qualities, we have these characteristics, we have aspects of our personality that we should be recognized for, that we deserve attention for. Maybe you're known for being a hard worker or having a sense of humor, always making someone laugh, having wisdom, having insight, always being optimistic, always being loyal or someone you can count on. And for me, like this has been a deep kind of realization within just the past couple months that like this is my calling, this is like my path, my pursuit, my passion, my purpose is to teach seduction, to teach surrender, to teach aspects of sexuality, to share that directly with women and to give men the skills and teach them these processes so that they can share this with women too as a gift. So that's my whole thing with ordination is like I feel this as a calling. And I've always kept this underground. Like I didn't really want to do an intro with like background and stuff. But you know there's like Neil's book, it's like the underground secret society, which was so mainstream, it's ridiculous. But there's like the true subterranean stuff. Like for me, I've been doing this a decade, even the teaching aspect of it. And it's always been word of mouth, you know, I don't have a product, I don't have a mailing list, I have a blog, and it's gone savage.com. Also while I'm in town, I've got a European phone. And I think I've been told that if you're dialing from Sweden, you don't put this but you do have to put the zero by the seven. But if you're dialing internationally, you leave you put this but leave out that zero. I don't know. But yeah, I'm going to be here at least a month, maybe longer. And then after that, I'm traveling through other parts of the Europe. And me and Jonathan, we're putting together this idea, seduction without borders, lovers without borders. And we're taking this idea of seduction being a gift. Kind of like the greatest gift in the world, right? We're taking this internationally. So yeah, I just want to talk for a minute about why seduction is a gift, how it's a gift. And then we're going to get into the process of, well, I want to do, I want to do like a quick meditation, like a, like an exercise with guys as well. And I got some slides for you. And then these two concepts that are really unique to me and kind of like the core essence of what I present. They're two different speeches that I put together like the first time. One is going to be the introduction of the Savage Triangle. And the other is what I call the seduction trump cards. So it's going to go, it's going to take you through the theory more into practice. And hopefully we're all going to arrive at the same conclusion. But man, I was just making a list of like my favorite concepts and the different ways seduction is a gift, the different way we share gifts with each other. And if you think about it, like a good working definition of seduction, and a little bit later, I'm really going to contrast this with pickup. But it's kind of like the process of making a moment more intense. It's kind of like enticing someone into doing what they secretly want to do already. It's lowering defenses. It's awakening the senses. It's igniting her body. It's allowing her to surrender into herself, to surrender into her femininity, to surrender to masculinity. It's a process of awakening, enlivening, enhancing and enriching a person's life. And it's a gift. I just kind of made this list. Like the gift I give, like my intention, my promise is to give adventure and excitement, passion, romance through intensity, intrigue, intimacy, humility, humor, my presence, my perspective. All these things are unique gifts. Authenticity, generosity, giving, sharing, being selfless, non-judgmental acceptance, appreciation, attention, affection, passion, lust, arousal, surprise, as well as anticipation, fascination, being bold, being direct, being thrilling. At last, something exciting is coming to her life. At last, a brush with danger, passion and romance. But it goes further. It's everything, having audacity, having enthusiasm, being a lover of women, being a lover of sex, being a lover of the process of seduction, providing release, relief, relaxation, abandon, surrender, foreplay, suspense, tension, satisfaction. So I see myself, I'm kind of in the business of making fantasies come true. And it's kind of a, it's an enlightened self-interest. It's kind of a refined selfishness. But seduction is pure pleasure. And it's the pleasure that you're giving as a gift and it's the pleasure you're receiving having given that gift. And a quick distinction that I always make. When you give someone a gift, it should never diminish the intention. Let me put it this way. When you give someone a gift and they refuse to accept it, you should not feel rejected. It should diminish your intention for having wanted to give that. So it's the idea of giving selflessly, giving with no expectation of return. And if you have the expectation of return, it's not really a gift. It's a bribe. And well, Zebra shared a story about, what's it called, spy bar. I was there last night. And I had a story that completely relates to this. I'll tell it real quick. I met these two girls on the street. And we're really vibing and connecting. And they wanted to get me into spy bar. And they had a connection there. And they did. And this is like the real trendy place around town. And so you get in, like you're selected to get in. There's all this gatekeeping, like, okay, you're in. But then you still have to pay a cover. And one of the two girls was like, so I'm getting you. She kind of said like a little bit smart ass. And I'm like, yeah, sure. I appreciate it. Thank you. Right. So she paid for me to get in. And then we go upstairs and they're like talking to some friends or something. So I start talking to these other girls. And like we're really getting along me and this new girl. And the original girl from one of the two that paid to get me in comes up. And she's like, she takes the other girl and starts speaking in Swedish. And like the other girl exits because she said something about me that was really fierce or whatever. But then she's like, looking at me and she's like, you owe me 100 crown, right? You owe me 100 crown. She's being forceful. She like pushed me a little bit. I'm trying to be all sweet and like, no, that's a gift. That was awesome. I truly appreciate it. And she's like, no, you owe me 100 crown. Look, buy me two drinks. Buy me two drinks. And I told her the same thing. I'm like, look, there was no expectation in that moment. I'm like, if you're expecting something in return, that wasn't a gift. That was a bribe. And she kind of loosened up, like fell more into her femininity. But let's just kind of an example. Right. So there's this, this is other idea, right? I want to do this meditation. And it's just a quick exercise, like, you guys would just follow along, like, make sure your feet are kind of planted on the ground, you relax to your chair, go and close your eyes and relax and imagine like what you perceive to be your biggest sticking point concerning game and meeting women and go even deeper. Allow yourself to remember a time where this sticking point or this limiting belief manifested in field in real life. Just take a moment and allow yourself to connect with that experience. See if you can pull back some of the feeling, some of the emotion. Perhaps there was a particularly intense sense of rejection, or maybe it was just hesitation, humiliation, some kind of frustration, anger, worry, doubt, feel into that experience, kind of remember what it was like. How you felt, what she said, where you felt it in your body, just get deeper and deeper into that memory and into those sensations, allow them to build and increase and intensify. And having retained and recaptured the memory of this experience, what I want us to do, I want us all to just laugh at it. Like, we're going to start out with just a little laugh, like just recognizing how petty that situation was, how infinitesimal, right? How minuscule, how minute. Just laugh, allow yourself to laugh out loud. Physiologically, laughing does so much for you, so much for your health, your well-being, your state of mind. Just continue laughing, laugh out loud. It doesn't matter. That's the thing with laughter. It doesn't matter if it's genuine. It doesn't matter if it's in the moment. It doesn't matter if it's contrived. It's just like, feel into this with me. Let's get like a really uproar of laughter here. It was just so petty and it was so long ago and it was just ridiculous. Look where we are now. So with your eyes closed and just retaining that memory, just laugh one more time, really loud. Then you can look at the screen and keep laughing. Welcome to Sweden. This is the Swedish pussy massage. Welcome to Sweden. I'm going to tell you what I know of Sweden. Swedish massage, Swedish meatballs, the Swedish chef, smoking an invisible blunt, of course ABBA, and beautiful, beautiful Swedish women. A smorgasbord of sexy. This is how we say it in Sweden, no? Awesome. I did a little bit of internet research. And a smorgasbord, a Swedish meal of multiple dishes served buffet style. I just want to know who let the brunette in there. You guys probably already know this. In Sweden, there is no sodomy laws. And the age of consent is 15. I don't know if that should excite you or not, but it's fact. So like I said, there's two main parts to this presentation. There's there's some fractionation involved, where I'm going to go really deep, pretty intense. And then there's other moments of humor. I'm like pulling you up in and out peaks and valleys. But this is the first of the two main portions, right? This is what I'm calling the savage triangle. And there's so much to be derived from this simple image. But this represents the it's like an amalgamation of all the aspects of the community that have been thrown together. So we study social aspects, the sexual aspects, and the seductive aspects. These are all different realms. They're all different processes. The social essentially is saying, you know, I want to get to know you. I want to meet you. I want to date you. I want to see what you're like. The sexual is saying, you know, I want to fuck you. I want to make love to you. I want our energies to combine. The seductive is what I focus on. This is what I teach. And I think this is what is missing in society. And women want to be seduced. Women are complicit in their own seduction. Anthony was talking about you find people that are complicit in helping you. Similarly, women are complicit in their own seduction. Everyone wants to be seduced. Everyone wants to be taken through that process, where reality becomes intensified. The rest of the environment, the rest of society just seems to melt away and disappear. And all you're aware of is this presence in front of you, this intensity, this warmth, its energy, and seduction is a process. And we're going to talk a lot about that. But to explore this a little more, we add color. So you realize that it's all a gradient. There's different degrees between the sexual and the social, the seductive and the sexual, as well as the social and the seductive. And if you're not taking notes, this would be a good time to start. There's a couple of things I'm going to point out that aren't actually on the slide. The process of going from the social to the sexual, if you can imagine just an arrow, going from the green to the red, this is pickup. Pickup is concerned with more than anything, creating a sense of value, creating a sense of status. Pickup is obsessed with status and value. What happens when you trade the social for the sexual, you get a sense of obligation. You're trading your social value for her sexual value. A degree away from that sense of obligation is coercion, manipulation, deception. It's really easy to fall into these kind of things, right? These things that really don't hopefully don't resonate with us. They don't serve us in the best way. When we study those kind of tactics, I'm going to talk more about what all those tactics are, right? The process of going from the seductive to the sexual, this is the process of seduction. And it's everything that I've been talking about, giving the gifts of your presence, your integrity, your intensity, passion, romance, excitement, adventure, awakening your senses, igniting her body, allowing that surrender. So it's not based on obligation and coercion, it's based on lust and arousal. There's a lot of different degrees that I can put upon this. But real quick, the process of going from the social to the seductive, we call this flirtation. Flirtation is a dynamic all of its own. It's often a means. I don't want to say a means to an end, but it's its own process. Flirtation is the social to seductive, basically, it's seduction without the sexual element. It's making people feel good. It's an end in itself, having fun, making people feel good. There's no sense of a sexual outcome. Just being charming, being charismatic, making people feel good. It's a gift in and of itself. One thing I always like to say about this, this savage triangle, this diagram, is begin where you are. A lot of what I'm going to talk about in a minute is how this side, how the seduction trumps the pickup, how being seductive trumps being merely social. The community, as is, is focused over here. And one of my models that I've actually named each of these triangles. So the social corner is basically the AFC, the average frustrated chump that can't get out of the friend zone, right? One triangle way is the pickup artist. One triangle above that is the player, just because he's a little more forward with his sexual intent, his sexual desire. On the other side, with seduction, these are the romance artists, the sensualist, the sex god. So you're going up this way. So we kind of got the, you know, the flirt or the charmer in the middle. So start where you are. That means like, look, a lot of guys have social skills together. You don't need to be an approach machine. You don't need to like do a thousand approaches and do all this crazy peacocking and like ridiculous ways of getting attention. You got your basic social skills. Start with that and flirt. And then you reach that hook point. Flirtation, isolation, seduction. Then you're going up the other side toward a sexual event, toward a sexual connection. But there's tons, there's tons of things I like to lay on this. This path is one of taking value. This path is one of giving value. The pickup artist, the process of pickup begins with a sense of lack, a sense of scarcity. What can I get from her? What can I get from this situation? How can I get her to like me? How can I get her to fuck me? How can I get her to go out with me? How can I get her phone number? This is a process of giving. You're giving the gifts, all the things that I've been talking about. It's a sense of abundance. You're filled with so much love, compassion, concern, care. You want to give this, you give it freely. That's flirtation. That's what we're going to talk about the least. But be aware that that is the path of flirtation. It's essentially seduction without the sexual element. And if you like, I'm not knocking being social and I'm going to talk about this more too. It's necessary. The center is the sweet spot. So I basically I gray out these areas. This is not what I teach. This is not my focus. I'm not a big artist. But I consider the center to be the sweet spot. It's up for debate, whatever. But it's balanced. You have a very dynamic social life. You've no trouble making friends. You're no trouble flirting. You also have a very dynamic sex life. You have the kind of sexual experiences that you want to have. And at the same time, you understand the process of seduction, starting at A and going to B or Z or whatever, taking her through these stages of captivation and intrigue and arousal, being able to turn a woman on, not just saying, you know, I want I want to get to know you. I want to hang out. It's not being that caveman guy. The epitome of sexual is the caveman. He just wants to like fuck, he just wants to manhandle. No finesse. No sense of romance, no sensuality. So we talked about obligation and manipulation and coercion versus compassion, empathy and sharing. Another aspect of the whole taking versus giving is this is the path of impressing. This is the path of expressing. Expressing an energy and innate desire that you have, you have this abundance of masculinity. You have an abundance of passion. You want to share this? Or you trying to impress someone? What do I have to do to get her like me so that I can take something from her so I can gain something? This path is all about self gain. We talked about this being the path of arousal and lust, this being the path of desire and obligation. This is also the reactive path. You're reacting, you're taking, you're impressing. This is the proactive path. You're giving, you're sharing. Pressure versus pleasure. High pressure kind of tactics, high pressure environments usually. This is all about pleasure. One of the first things I said, seduction is all about pure pleasure. Learning the process of creating that moment, intensifying that moment and delivering, delivering pleasure and intensity. So similarly, this is coldness. This is warmth. Rutgers University did a study. They looked at promiscuous men. They found three traits in common with this group that they studied. Across the board, number one, that everyone shared was dominance. Dominance can be seen as the peak of the sexual interaction. You're polarizing the masculine feminine, expressing raw masculine desire and directive. Dominating, right? Here's the other two traits. They were polarizing themselves. So number one, across the board is dominance. Then number two and three were either being cold and manipulative or being very warm and very empathetic. Very compassionate. Again, either one of these will lead to sex. But it's decision. It's a decision you have to make. It's a choice you have to make for yourself. Which way do you want to get there? The path of coercion and manipulation and coldness, distance, detachment, or being able to give a gift and share warmth and affinity, connection. A couple more things on this. We talked about scarcity and neediness versus abundance. Here's another one. Ego versus the soul. This is about as like new ages I get. But the the ego always wants to do what looks good. It's about impressing. It's about being seen, being noticed. The body wants to do what feels good. Again, that's the sexual peak. The soul wants to do what is good. What's best for everyone involved? It's not about taking. It's not about self gain. Ego versus the soul. Then we have force versus power to be able to resonate and have the presence of a dominant man who knows what he wants in life. He doesn't make apologies. But he's also very compassionate, very warm, very friendly, open and outgoing. And most of all, he knows the process of seduction. And I don't know who who clued me into this earlier, one of the speeches. But this is the last one I put on here. There's the mirage versus the oasis. I like that. So a lot of times you think you're getting somewhere on this path. And a lot of times we have to go through this path before we realize the alternative. Well, there's one more. It's the big one. This is the path of self confidence. This is the path of self esteem. Like I said, both get results. Both can get what appears on the surface level to be dynamic and varied sex life. A lot of sexual opportunity, a lot of sexual experience. The pickup route is all about self confidence. This is this is another triangle. You find the community because you have low self confidence, typically, as well as low self esteem. But you have high interest. This is something you desire, often desperately. Then you have that choice. How am I going to get there? How am I going to get there? So a lot of times we find, you know, we find these products, we find these, these articles online. And it's like promising you the magic bullet, and the quick fix, and instant results. And it's all here, right? Even if it works, even if it works once in a while, right, you're compromising oftentimes, your honesty, your authenticity, your integrity. You're doing these kind of, you feel you feel weird. I don't know. I hope you feel a little shady and feel a little like, I don't know, is this right? Should I should I be telling this story? Am I lying? And it's not enhancing your self esteem. Think about, to think about the difference between self confidence and self esteem, self confidence is it's belief in your ability. Confidence is belief in your ability. I don't, I don't talk about confidence. I really don't believe confidence is like the necessary ingredient. So mainstream dating advice always says you got to be confident. And then all the pickup stuff, all the community says you got to have confidence, confidence is key, right? Confidence is belief in your own ability. If you don't have the ability, you still want to take action. You still want to pursue a better life. So it takes courage, courage, Trump's confidence, confidence is belief in your own ability, courage is acting despite having no belief in your ability. Confidence says, fake it to you make it. Courage says act anyway. Act, action, take action. And that's what builds self esteem. Other direct reflections of self esteem is health. For sure, we've seen how many guys go on this path of instant result. I got to get this shit mastered pickup stuff. They drop out of school. They neglect their health. They go out every fucking night being approach machines and they hit this weird plateau. It's like, you know, I'm not happy. I don't feel good about my life. Self esteem has to do with self respect, self worth. You value yourself. You value your time. You value where you put your attention. You love yourself. You can certainly hate yourself and be highly confident. You can do like despicable things and be highly confident and confident. Think of, you know, like a career criminal or something. High confidence, low self esteem. So that's the other dynamic I put onto this is like choose this path, right? I don't know. It's up to you. So it all comes down to choice, right? So ultimately to me, pick up. It's like a bribe. It's like all this weird, shifty, shady stuff. Trying to trade your value or perceive value or phony, baloney value and status for sexual access. Remember, we talked about if pickup is a bribe, seduction is a gift. There is one more. I have so many things in here. Remember cocky funny, right? It's a great like community innovation, right? Be cocky funny. It's straight up here. What is over here is courage and humility. And Vince said this to humility is sexy. There's a lot of convergence taking place in this in this room right now and through the rest of the weekend. A lot of guys that have never met, never been in field together, never read each other's material are coming to the same conclusions and having the same sense of awakening, sense of awareness. You want to be cocky funny and fake it till you make it? Do you want to act anyway and develop courage, display humility? You know, and going in field like doing the approach, man. The less confident you feel, the more confidence is over here. The more humility you need to display. You know, I'm nervous standing up here, right? I'm doing it anyway. Because this is my path. This is my passion. This is something I feel I need to share. I feel ordained to share this material. So you go up to a girl and it's like, you know, I'm kind of nervous, even approaching you. I don't really know what I'm going to say. But I noticed you. I had to come say hi. Or what was was Vince's line? I wrote it down. It's just that it's just that you're so sexy. I had to come over me. It's humility. It's being humble. And I'm kind of nervous. I can't believe I'm doing this, but it's just that I noticed your dress and I'm real curious about it. Where'd you get it? Right? Um, there you go. Courage, humility. I think once again, I kind of already said this. But these are the extremes. They all have a shadow. In in the naming system that I was coming up with pure seduction is the pimp. And a lot of guys are like, Oh, I'm such a fucking pimp, right? That's, I don't know. I think it's a disgusting and like despicable kind of thing to call yourself. But a true pimp that coerces women. Eh, coercion's over here. But I still think it's the right word. But to procure women is them to like for financial pimps. Don't give a fuck about sex. They don't care. They use sex and they use their seductive ability to control women. So that's the that's the dark side down here. The dark side already said of the sexual is like the caveman. The guy has no social calibration, no seductive calibration. But he just he just takes he takes, you know, forcefully. One thing to always keep in mind is like seduction was created by women. Um, you know, in old days, it was all about force. It was all about creating that sense of obligation and dominance by sheer brute force. Women got wise to power by using their charm, their feminine wiles, right? To kind of a intrigue and captivate and capture them in, right? So I don't know, like that's something to always keep in mind. Like we're practicing an art that was created by women like Cleopatra and Helen atroi, like all these historic names, right? So where I'm saying is put your attention here from the sweet spot and kind of a circle right here. So this is kind of to give you a theoretic background of the trump cards that I'm going to go into. Any questions about the triangle? Yeah, how does the concept of arousal fit into your triangle? That's going to be one of the five trump cards. Okay, so I'm going to answer it thoroughly in a minute. Great. Yeah, one question is, I'm not a native English speaker. So what do you mean by Ardain? Or Dane, like I was saying, is just a sense of being selected, being chosen. Yeah. To share your gift. Sure, you get it to me like it feels like a sacred thing to finally realize like I was I was a I wanted to be like this anonymous player, right? Or playboy. I always make distinctions. Yeah. So I love sex. I love women. I love femininity. I love creating that connection. I love the process of seduction. But I didn't want like recognition for it. I was like my purpose has to be higher. It has to be bigger and better, right? And that's what I'm saying, like I've been doing this for so long. I've been creating so many experiences and also teaching so many guys as a seduction purist. I'm not an information marketer. I don't have products. I don't have this stuff, right? I don't have this egoic stuff to like attach to myself. So my realization that I've been ordained in a sacred sense like no, dude, you got to get out there and you got to share this. That's all I mean. Like I believe each and every one of us have that kind of gift. We have that kind of characteristic or unique trait that we deserve recognition for. And if you if you heighten your awareness and zone into what it is, absolutely what it is that makes you unique, what your talent and skill is, a community will find you. I didn't seek out the community. This community found me. So a community, a source, a group of people that's ripe and ready to recognize you for your gifts. When you recognize that, that's ordination. Got it. Great question. And then our question is while you're talking about humility and courage, you kind of metaphorically replace it for CNF, maybe not totally your intention. But question is I have the feeling I'm getting humility in the wrong way. So how would you define humility? Like how do you display it? Inside of you being humble, not taking yourself seriously, even even learning the process, not taking it seriously, to always be sincere without being serious. Okay, so to be warm and generous and honest and authentic, but not to be heavy. Okay, not to be like, seduction is the most serious fucking shit in the world, you better pay attention, right? So humility is being playful while being like, yeah, like playfulness, optimism, open mindedness. And at the same time to be like relaxed in yourself, like, look, I just had to come talk to you. If you if you're not vibing with me, if you don't accept my gift, it doesn't diminish my intention for wanting to give it to you. If you offer someone a gift and they refuse to accept it, your intention remains intact. The desire you had to give it does not change. And then the aspect of humility is like this, to say like, you know, I don't take this seriously, and I'm kind of nervous, you know? That's sexy, humility is totally sexy. And I'm not, again, I'm not saying that as a technique, right? That would be over here. It's like to find your sense of humbleness. Here's a great exercise. I hope this isn't going to throw me like off on time too much. Get get $21 bills or whatever your equivalent would be here. Go to an intersection. I notice there's not really panhandlers here, but they're all over the place in the US. But try this here. I can try this to build a sense of humility. And give them out. Give them out to pass or buys. It's like $21 bills. It's one of the greatest ways you'll ever spend $20. In America, it's so hard to get someone to take them. No, no, no, no. Because they don't know your intention. They don't know what, what is this all about? Hold a sign says, I have to give. I have to give. This is like an esteem building exercise too. Here, take a dollar please. What? Try it. It's not, it's not seduction related, but give it a try, you know. Right. One exercise to that. Yes. When you have Eastern in Europe, you can also give out chocolate, little chocolate X in the club. It's even more hardcore because most of them think there's drugs in it. So, but so they think there's like an ulterior motive and give out the look this is this is one of the things I've been making a list of things I notice here. Every shop like 7-Eleven or whatever has this huge array of candy and they're not individually wrapped. There's no like protective cover or whatever. This stuff would never fly in America. People would think that it's like, not necessarily poison, but it's like contaminated. Like people put their grimy hands in it or whatever. But it's it persists. It's fucking popular. I've seen it everywhere. I'm like tons of candy dude. You guys must love sweets. Thank you, thank you. All right, fun stuff. Seduction, enticing others into doing what they really want to do already. Women are complicit in their own seduction. Women want to be seduced. Women desire seduction. Most virtue is a demand for more seduction. Most resistance is a demand for more tension. We want that sexual tension. Guys kill sexual tension by breaking rapport, by being cocky funny, by teasing, all these things that you're taught to do in this path of the triangle, right? Maintaining that sexual tension. Most things we perceive as resistance is a demand or a request for more tension. Most LMR is a demand for more foreplay. It's a demand to just slow it down. Give her that experience. Give it to her with patience. Escalation, the step-by-step process of making a moment more intense. I'm going to talk more about escalation. It's one of the trump cards. Screening, systematic testing to select those with desired characteristics. Delayed laugh. And you know another great reminder is that women are the greatest seduction teachers in the world. I mean that path over here, that's another thing I didn't point out. It's like guru worship. You deify some guru or some instructor, right? Some information marketer. This other path, you recognize it. Anything you want to know about seduction, you can learn from women. Take what I say. It's a great idea. Take it in field. Find out if it's true for you. That was one of your points, right? You got to put this in field. You got to find out for yourself. You've got to take the action. You've got to make the decision. Intimacy is what this is all about. Seduction is not a popularity contest. That was this part of the triangle. Pick up as a popularity contest. It's about getting noticed. Intimacy and seduction, you know, I would be insulted, I think, if I was voted some kind of like greatest pickup artist in the world. I don't identify with that. I don't resonate with that at all. You know, I used to call myself like the roaming rogue in the roadside Romeo. I went on this road trip for like four years. I've been in every state except Hawaii. Just teaching and meeting women and like having these experiences and living in the moment, living in the world, hiking national parks, doing all this really cool stuff. This was the roadside Romeo, the roaming rogue, the freelance flirt, the four-play gourmet. You know, there's probably some ego to this. But it was about women. It was about intimacy. It wasn't about being recognized by some community and some anonymous group of people like reading stuff on forums. So it's weird, the sensation of guys that they want to go out and they want to meet women and they want to get good at this, whatever that really means, so they can kind of impress their friends. And so instead of like connecting with her deeply in the moment, they just can't wait to get home to write the lay report. That's all this path that was over here. Women, the greatest seduction teachers in the world, intimacy, seduction is not a popularity contest. All right, part two. The seduction trump cards. You got the king and the four queens. All right, all right, all right, just throw out any question you guys have. Yes, so you said that most resistance is a demand for more tension. I guess I wonder how would you define that tension? My current model, like my belief, is that tension is always there. It's naturally present between most women and most men. The problem is, because of our conditioning, because of our upbringing, because of what the dominant society puts on us, we don't recognize it. We don't acknowledge it. So the idea is that you're just allowing it to be more present so you can you can build it and enhance it and intensify it. This is going to be one of the trump cards, is how you primarily non-verbally make the tension thicker, right? Pickup is about exposure. It's about opportunity. It's the social aspect, remember. It's the numbers game. So there's this debate, right? I'm getting ahead of myself, but there's like this debate. Is game, is it just a numbers game or is it a skill set? It's both. It's totally fucking both. It's particles and a wave. The numbers game aspect is the pickup aspect. It's the social aspect. It's the aspect of getting out there, getting off your ass, increasing your opportunities, putting yourself out there, going up and saying hi. Exposure, opportunity, approaching, then what you want to do, like approaching is a natural screening process. What happens is you weed out the ones with no interest and you find the ones with a little bit of interest so you can apply the skill set of seduction to make them very, very interested. Part of that skill set is effectively, however you want to focus on it, building tension or recognizing naturally present tension. We'll talk more about that because that's actually the first trump card is how being seducted, Trump's being social. So how those three triangles or five triangles on this side that I left collared trumped the ones that I put in black and white. So like I was saying, being social is prospecting. It's lead generation. It's that idea of going out there, increasing your chance, the only way to like play the game is to start it. That's the social. I'm not knocking being social at all. We're social creatures. We're also sexual animals. The path over here is valid. So it's, you know, but like what I want to hammer home is being social is not what gets you laid. It's not what gets you girlfriend. It's not what gets you the kind of sex life that you probably want, that you desire, that you deserve. Being social in and of itself is not what contributes to these things and that's one of the big misdirections of the community. And a lot of the community focuses on social dynamics, having social proof, having an entourage, crazy kind of peacocking to get yourself noticed. Getting noticed is not getting arousal. You know what I mean? Getting attention is not getting arousal. That's how I like to say it. Being entertaining is not escalating. It's all social. You're stuck in that corner of the triangle. And I'm saying like that's a great place to start because you flirt and there's that hook point and it's usually usually has something to do with isolation. The rest of the social environment disappears. It's you and her. This is what seduction is about. It's you and her. It's one-on-one. The rest of the environment disappears. The rest of society has no bearing on what's taking place. So you flirt. You flirt when it's social. You flirt when it's necessary to you know there's all there's her group. It's a group theory and all this right. And then you got her alone right and the best context for getting the girl alone is like to take a number and then call her up and be like you know why don't we get some coffee or something. Part of this whole pickup thing is like epitomizing same glaze and like fetishizing quickness speed. Fuck you know like we didn't hook up till third date and that means I'm not good at game or some bullshit. That's beautiful that's natural. It's natural human sexuality that's awesome. Share that moment like I don't here's another thing I don't I don't play to win. That's all over here playing to win. Yes the contrast to that real quick though is playing to continue the play. Playing for the sake of play itself. Yes. Like if I understand you correctly you say stay in the middle of the triangle or try to get in the middle of the triangle. And that that is a great place to be. That's where you're going to have the most balance the most. Here's another here's another way the community is coming together. A lot of us are talking more about like holistic living wholeness wholeness versus neediness. So you have the balance you have those three domains of your life evened out right. It's a great place to be. But also what I'm saying is most guys don't know their edge they have no idea. They think they're pushing the edge the envelope the boundary. They're not even coming close. So I'm seeing put your time and attention a little bit further to this side. The maximum point of a concentrated focus is over here to find your edge you got to go beyond it. And a lot of guys like they've done this social thing until they're like pulling their hat that's what happened to me right. And they really have an experiment with seduction. Maybe there's some timidity or hesitation but often it's just like they don't know. They've been misdirected the community like it's like no do a thousand approaches and you'll you'll get good eventually right. So I talked about creating the one on connection. I talked about pick up being the numbers game seduction being the skill set. Another aspect of this is what I like to say is like be social on your own terms. Don't think you have to go out every fucking night don't think you have to do bars and clubs at all. Find what resonates with you find what naturally fits with your your energy your worldview your mindset like you know I'm not really that social but I'm very very seductive and consequently very sexual. I have a high sex drive I love women I love sex I love the whole process. Similarly I'm you know I'm an introvert. A lot of guys they find the community like they're introverted for sure. How do I how do I become an extrovert. How do I force myself to change all these things right. It's like be social in your own terms. Being introverted doesn't necessarily mean shy either. You can have periods of going out and being hyper social but being an introvert means you got to recharge in solitude. And Anthony was talking about this he's an introvert for sure. You need those moments alone you need that isolation. So if you're doing the hyper social shit for a long you know a few days it's going to tire you out big time. You're going to need to recharge alone in solitude and isolation. An extrovert like Vince it's actually going to wear him down to be in isolation to be in solitude for a long time and he'll start to crave those periods of being hyper social. He's a very social guy who's actually on the seduction path. I'd say he's a guy that pretty much has the sweet spot nailed down. I am kind of I'm realizing this in many ways the introverted version of him since we are arriving you know at a lot of the same conclusions. Alright so we talked about the debate skill set numbers game and that's basically what I teach man. Do do the social aspect on your own term. Get yourself out there exposure opportunity approaching and then learn the skill set of seduction which is what I teach and I'm going to drill deeper into this to take the girls with a little bit interested a little bit of interest and make them very interested. It's a process it's a step-by-step process so the trump card number two is that the nonverbal trumps the verbal. By the way there's five of these this is the second one. Most conventional dating advice as well as most community advice focuses on words. Focuses on verbal communication so it's not just on being social but it's about verbal communication what we're saying to each other. Pickup lines words patterns remember old-school words routines or words stories words cocky funny breaking rapport banter teasing these are all verbal techniques when a guy first finds the community always wants to know what I say what I say to girls get him to like me that's this path they want to build confidence you know a lot of this the whole the whole some aspect of this in the intergame aspect is like how do I build a steam so words man like everything we're surrounded by words that you know movies TVs TV shows billboards romantic comedies situational comedies it's just it's his dialogue we're so obsessed with words by the medium we spend all day like texting and emailing so what I'm here to tell you right and and this should resonate with a lot of you. You don't have to you don't have to be witty don't be charming and funny just like you want to be that social you have to be so focused on you don't have to have the perfect story they're like teaches a lesson or has this like I don't know dynamic revelation about how popular how like popular you are right non-verbal seduction like I teach the four most important aspects of non-verbal seduction and I'm gonna go over those at the end if we have time there's a big difference between being verbally direct and verbally explicit even versus being physically direct and the the aspects they all relate to the senses and one of them is cutting space being able to get close proximity and I'll talk about all of them in a minute so let's move to the third seduction trump card let's consider that men and women have two distinct desires one is the desire for sex and one is the desire for affection affection relates to many things including praise approval appreciation attention validation recognition liking things like sharing time together sharing activities together words of affirmation sharing you know doing stuff together pet names pillow talk cuddling this is all affection then there's sex so I'm talking about sex as an innate biological urge it's you know it's not so much the need for tender caresses and affection it's that primal instinctual very powerful urge that you feel so I'm talking about the feeling that you just want to take her you just want to recognize your masculine dominance and and take her it's about sucking and fucking and blowjobs and facials and like penetration and hard pounding and quickies and all this raw stuff this is what this is the contrast I'm creating the polarity between sex and affection because we're gonna get into examples so say you're you know you're feeling social you're out and about you meet this girl you have a great conversation again social verbal you're feeling this connection and you start to imagine her as your girlfriend you start to imagine going on dates you start future projecting all this like cool stuff you'll do together right and what's really happening is like your sense of lack your sense of scarcity your neediness your need for feminine energy it's kind of kind of sucking the feminine energy from her you're just basking in it man I hope I don't fuck this up hope I don't lose her hope we can have all these experiences I bet you make a really great girlfriend these thoughts these desires and we've all had them right they're hijacking the seduction that could be taking place because there's if there's one thing that you get out of this that you should write down right so you got to go after the sex before you go after the affection almost all schools of game remember the ones over here that are obsessed with taking and pressing status and value have it backwards because it's an ego stroke remember the ego versus the soul how can I get her to recognize me and appreciate me and give me that sense of acceptance that I don't have for myself so you get the sex before you get the affection and it doesn't matter like maybe you don't want to be like hopefully you don't want to be a pickup artist or player but maybe you don't want to be this like crazy romance artist and you don't want to be events with all this energy right but you know maybe endless sexual variety and novelty like isn't your thing that's cool you just want like this cool girlfriend this chill chick that you get to have all the affection with still saying the pursuit of sex the recognition I should say of the innate natural sexual urge capitalizing on that tension right escalating bringing it to fruition right so many guys like they have this front right it's the pickup artist front right they're gonna do all these things they come across as all-confident and and she gets this sense well first of all like attracts like and game recognizes game so you're on that path you're meeting people with the same resonance of energy but you know sometimes you see this like the guys will let the girl down it's a huge insult or sexuality to her femininity when the guy doesn't actually pull through because it more often than not he's caught up in this mind fuck of like seeking affection before sex right so if your goal is to be more social this is actually from history your goals to be more social talkative is the number one state to be in that's what he said except he says it like this the number one state to be in is talkative because he's on this path your goals to be more social talkative is number one state to be in if your goals to be more seductive horny is the number one state to be in like part of this whole process is recognizing your own sexuality being comfortable with it self-esteem remember loving yourself valuing yourself loving your body loving your cock understanding that sex is a beautiful thing you don't have sexual hang-ups you don't have a Madonna whore complex you don't have a vagina envy you don't have miss what's it called misogyny you have a healthy self-respect you have a healthy regard for sex it's a beautiful natural incredible thing so whether you're into monogamy polygamy or good old fashion promiscuity you've got to realize that the need for sex comes first sex comes first so how are we going to get there that brings us to the fourth trump card this is what your question is about arousal Trump's desire desire and arousal are two very different things desires of the mind its mental arousal is of the body it's physical it's physiological it's both biological and chemical sexual arousal means that her body is stimulated her juices are flowing it doesn't mean that you're gonna fuck but it means she's in a heightened state of arousal and awareness and physically and physiologically she's ready to fuck so arousal Trump's desire because it is primal it's immediate it's natural it's automatic the instinctual urge of arousal is very powerful and the way I see it is like this there's actually studies that show this as well a lot of times women are engaged in intercourse before they even realize that they have desire for the person they're with the mental sensation that that's where they want to be and that they like him right another thing I would say is like stop stop wondering if girls like you right it's over here start determining if they turn you on and start learning how to turn them on that was over here so all relates back to my triangle so arousal desire right men like we're almost always in a desire estate we're checking out women we're evaluating them we get this whole like stupid one to ten scale and all this stuff right or maybe we just have the like I do or I wouldn't do a scale right it doesn't and just just acknowledging that doesn't mean we're gonna approach it doesn't mean we're gonna escalate this mean we're gonna make those decisions but we have that quick snap decision right that's our desire I just said I said arousal trumps desire so by you being a man who has that desire who also takes action has the courage takes action makes the approach escalates puts these skill set processes of seduction gets them flowing creates arousal mostly through nonverbal tactics nonverbal presence eye contact vocal tonality body language cutting space proximity all this stuff right you turn on so it looks like this your desire paired with action leads to her arousal her arousal once you know once you know she's turned on leads to your arousal your turn on your heart and then part of this is like her recognition that you're turned on will lead to her desire so it's your desire her arousal your arousal her desire you're good to go let's go time any questions about that I feel like I went through that one kind of quick and it ties into the last trump card escalation trumps everything else so first of all sexual attraction I believe is the highest compliment you can give another person just like I think seduction is one of the greatest gifts you can give another person but sexual attraction being the highest compliment I mean think of this everyone is flattered to find out if someone else finds them attractive it's always flattering whether you whether it's reciprocal or not it's flattering but it gets even better because like I was saying often it is reciprocal you letting someone know that they turn you on will often turn them on finding out from someone that you turn them on will turn you on it's a beautiful loop it's a beautiful feedback loop that goes like this desire arousal arousal desire action so escalation being the process of making a moment more intense process of making a moment more intense is gradual forward momentum there's aspect of momentum and creating arousal escalation is how you create arousal escalation is how you create sexual tension escalation is how you create chemistry so to me because it creates all these things or it recognizes the natural patterns of human sexuality it absolutely trumps everything else it this obviously includes things like what we talked about having social proof having an entourage peacocking having a wing having a pivot being a storyteller doing the stuff like banter and teasing and breaking rapport escalating primarily non verbally and quickly should obviously trump those things but I also think it trumps things like like looks looks as a luxury looks are a luxury escalation is essential these like good looking guys right there's a lot of them in the city what is that site beautiful people dot com right there's more there's more people on that site both men and women from Sweden than any other country so yeah I can I can recognize there's good looking guys here too right they're not fucking escalating they're getting nowhere it may be more permissive here for women to initiate for women to adopt the masculine role and to approach and escalate themselves I still think that's kind of a typical man is action woman is reaction but you know you can't be like this good looking guy and you know you wear cool clothes and you stand around being cocky and just like knowing nothing about seduction and waiting for those rare random opportunities right you want to manifest your destiny you want to put these processes into play you want to go out and create the opportunities so looks are luxury escalation is essential absolutely escalation is what I'm saying it's how you take a woman who's somewhat interested and you make her very very interested and like I said you can't wait around play it safe you can't look for indicators of her interest I think escalation is only something you do like when you get a clear signal usually by the time you get that kind of signal it's already for the most part too late to have done the kind of proactive escalation that would have like really solidified the moment it would have really created this magical intense awesome time for the two of you so I said this earlier stop getting attention start getting arousal stop entertaining start escalating that's added all up seductive trumps the social non-verbal trumps the verbal sex trumps seeking sex trumps seeking affection creating arousal trumps creating desire and escalation trumps all other attraction methods I gotta do this all again but in one sentence I'm going to read this specifically simple seductive non-verbal escalation is what leads to arousal then sex then the affection etc and that's what I teach so this was the next screen it looks like a lot of writing but it's it's just the same screen as before with the application of the 80-20 rule I mean obviously you can't you can't be seductive without also being somewhat social right and you'd have a tough time getting physical without every single word I teach non-verbal openers Vince did too he did some examples um but you know all the way to the bedroom that's kind of crazy so just employ the good old fashioned 80-20 rule like put work on seduction 80% of your time put your time and attention on being social only 20% of the time escalate non-verbally 80% verbally 20% use as your motivator seeking or pursuing sex 80% of the time and affection and this and without in particular doesn't mean like all this girl special she's on affection path or some shit just means like recognize that there's that element at play but the sex comes first no matter I don't know it's just it's kind of a flaw to be like this girl's different she's still you're insulting her if you if you don't pursue the natural path it's a huge insult you're letting yourself down you're letting her down um arouser body 80% of the time convince her mind 20% of the time focus on your escalation 80% and other traction methods 20% that's that's the basis that's the core of my two different talks combined the savage triangle the social seductive and the sexual the five trump cards the the other thing that I want to talk a little bit about and this is what I teach in field I will be doing in-field workshops tonight tomorrow Sunday for locals I'm gonna be here at least a month I had my phone number at the beginning I'll put it up again please write it down call me text me whatever it's a local number for Sweden um but yeah yeah just just to talk real quick about kind of the methods I teach in field because it's based on the senses utterly simple here's another trump card simplicity trumps complexity that's kind of self-explanatory but it's like the kiss method keep it simple stupid right it's like the economy of effort usually the usually the best solution is the simplest solution in many domains of life so thank you the senses right the sense of sight it has to do with um what you wear your style your fashion your physique you know in addition to your attire it's your physique it's your build it's your posture expressions facial expressions body expressions how you carry yourself so we kind of iron that stuff out and the most important aspect of the of the site sense is eye contact so it's simple little things like don't be the first to break eye contact know how to seductively gaze right know how to have this look where it's like it's kind of like lowered eyelids and a little bit of a smirk where it's like i like you it's 50 percent this it's like 50 full on i'm attracted to you you're sexy i really like you right it's 50 percent like i'm not sure about you there's something i don't know this is it's push pull in a look so it's eye contact it's eye gazing sound is your voice it's it's talking speaking as well as listening and hearing so it's it's the volume the resonance the projection the tonality the inflection all these like micro elements of of your voice right and it's also listening listening trumps talking it's becoming a seductive listener talking is qualifying listening is screening i'm speaking here like like think of any audience you know you screen a movie you screen you screen me like as a presenter right like well i'm gonna listen to what he says i'm gonna take it in and decide you know what resonates with me what doesn't what i should take in field what i'm not but yeah i believe that i'm qualifying to you i'm presenting myself man i hope you like this i hope this affects you and touches you and resonates with you in deep ways you guys you just you got the passive job you sit back and screen so to create a social dynamic and a seductive dynamic more importantly you're the one that's doing most of the listening you think that might be important it is it's sexy right and touch touch is what we call in the community keynote and most guys they they either never touch or they do it in a really awkward way so to be comfortable with your touch to become more effective to know how to arouse her through touch to you know create show bumps to create that sense of hey man touches is so awesome man there's so many nerve endings and so many hair follicles so much stimulation and it's not like you have to go for these erogenous zones but you know it's like it's like showing comfort with yourself comfort as the kind of guy that can touch a woman he's just met comfort with a woman's body like this is not new terrain for you this is like okay i've been here showing dominance through touch showing playfulness through touch showing courage and humility through touch push pull all this really awesome dynamic stuff through touch and then to relate it remember think of it this way the site's going to come first they're in this order for reason you're going to make eye contact you're going to praise each other very quickly with your attire and your style and your physique and your posture and all this stuff and then eye contact sight comes first sound typically comes next and this can all happen in in a second right when you do the approach there's the eye contact hey i had to come and then your hand might already be on her waist well what do we do why do we why do we shake hands with everyone right this is why touch is so important because we're reading so much from the other person it's like hey you look interesting i had to come say hi i'm jason sight sound touch like that to put the fourth sense on there sense of smell it's getting closer vince said something similar that i say you know you smell really good like something smells really good ah you're too sexy like push pull right but yeah you like close that proximity get closer like this this is seduction the rest of society melts away the rest of the environment disappears the friends you came with or didn't the friends she came with or didn't do not matter it's all in that look it's in that sharing of the verbal dimension and it's in the touch more than anything it's the look in the touch shoot these are the moments of surrender the first look the first touch the first kiss kiss you can call the fifth sense you're tasting and it's pretty much always going to be in this order it's super duper simple in writing right but then to um you know to become effective and like comfortable with it and not comfortable in the sense that you're complacent but comfortable in the sense that like you know yourself and trust yourself and value yourself and you know how to take a woman through this process it takes practice and it takes often feedback from someone who's been there someone who has that kind of experience okay that's pretty much it man how do we look on time look at this couple additional qualities that i like that i value about myself at least curiosity this is a quote from Einstein i have no special talents i'm only passionately curious that's uh that's like me as a little kid creativity the world is but a canvas to the imagination that's probably like the kid i would have someday courage if you don't take a chance you don't stand a chance that's a student from my last bootcamp the field always remember this the field is where theory meets practice this is that it's the social aspect it's the opportunity exposure aspect it's the numbers game you gotta get yourself out there where theory meets practice you can join me in field there's my number again like i said i'm gonna be here a while i really want to take guys out tonight and tomorrow on the next day yes for now only in sweden um i'm touring with jonathan here and we want to hit up prog and berlin and amsterdam wherever you guys are from i got a book the same one that i put these notes in make sure i get your contact information especially if you're you're what you give me a call you're from holland yeah and dude i'm definitely i'm definitely coming there yeah i've definitely come there just make sure you don't leave without exchanging contact information yes look through my notes for this one though um yeah first question was you're saying like your desire her arousal your arousal her desire so is that what you would say is uh your way of seeing how the process goes of guy meeting girl simply said that is that is my simple way of describing the process of natural human sexuality okay yeah and second question i think i have to come back at it because i think someone just texted me yeah second question yeah i have to come back at it because because i can't find it so okay someone else's like these trump cards man like this is the essence of what i do what i teach and what i've done for years realizing like how how one because it's one thing to say you know this is social versus being seductive this is arousal versus desire it's another thing to say look i have tons of field experience i've been with hundreds of women and to say this is what i've found to be true this is a little bit more important than that to take that kind of stance to have that kind of certainty it's powerful like all like look i i have these little ones that i'm always thrown around right like massage trumps dance right but these are the five core ones and the second question was um when you were talking about touching uh i'm not sure but i kind of get the five that you became better at it and my question was uh how did you become so comfortable with touching women as you are today as opposed to i don't know 10 years ago or whenever you started that's a good question um the second part was how did i become so comfortable with touch specifically and what was the first part if you remember oh no the first part was just that i got the feeling that you improved it so yeah yeah yeah of course of course um trial and error mostly um you know i constantly read books and and studies on this kind of thing as well but to be able to take it in field and to try new things right foreplay begins on the opener touch begins basically on the opener um so to be comfortable in and to do it playfully you know high five and spin around you do like i do all that playful stuff too like okay um you know like the the trust test remember that one yeah you know that you have to have mystery right mine's a little different because it's like a teaching tool but i do that stuff and you know slaps and thumb wars and that's like the playful that's this that's the flirtatious aspect then the seductive aspect is knowing how to like your fingertips are lethal weapons of lust knowing how to use them to turn her on to get her stimuli this is how you i don't know if i should say this well then set something similar like it's weird like he's such an expressive outgoing extroverted guy right but there's a lot of similarities here i'm much more laid back in my demeanor much more like casual i guess and authoritative at the same time that's the that's the aspect of dominance but i say this thing i'm like you know you want to know how you really this is how you know if you like me you're gonna go to the bathroom and uh you're gonna take your panties off throw them against the ceiling and if they stick that means you like me that means it's on but to just know you have that effect where he was saying the same thing like you get her panties like dripping what i'm not i'm not concerned with convincing her like are we gonna go out are we gonna hang out are we gonna go on a date is this really a date am i inviting her here's another interesting little thing right the the old school idea of a date was like you do something to impress her like the epitome that the classic is like dinner in a movie right you do something outside yourself to impress her it's all this path this path isn't just pickup but it's lower lower resonance of energy so lower vibrational form then what's over here it's like dinner in the movie like i'm not enough just connecting is not enough i got impressed so the epitome is something like a hot air balloon ride right i really impressed this girl so that's old school that's like you know back in the day so the community came along and was like you know you got it you got it you got to act attached you got to act like non-interested all this whole idea of faking non-involvement and stuff and they're like you get invited to things you're already doing that's what that's what pickup artists do right so it's either like you know if you're into whatever your hobby is whatever you're into you invite her along to that or it's like the simple shit running errands and tasks you know i'm going to the grocery store you should totally come with me so that was the next level right the expression on this side it's an expression it's not impressing is what xan calls and me and johnathan are both students of xan right xan perion he says uh invite her to nothing and he and he his approach is like you know i'm in town and it's it's something kind of like there's a like a little bit of time constraint there i'm in town for just a couple of days i really like your look i like your vibe you totally got to hang out come over come over i'm staying here and it's like well what are we going to do i don't know i haven't thought that far ahead you should totally come over vince vince use some something similar that i do he did something like a double bind and i say we're either going to have an excitingly good time or we're going to have an amazing adventure either way it's going to be fun the the date is us getting to know each other period bottom line i'm not here to impress you how can we connect how can we enhance and enrich each other's lives that's the date anything else yes you know that the whole notion of you know sets going before fashion it kind of goes against you know the wars that you've been taught anywhere and everywhere and i guess um what would happen if you put a fashion before sets can you give me some sort of context here so i can understand it better before sex is the path right here you're creating a sense of obligation it's not let's let's explore that a little bit obligation versus lust do you want to have obligatory sex or do you want to have lustful sex so you're seeking affection you're seeking attention and validation and approval and acceptance and all these things right she recognizes that she's like i've seen i've played this before i know this game so you're both on the level of game recognizes game and she's playing the game always cute he doesn't smell bad i like this about him i like this like this i'm going to give him a chance now but he's playing those stupid games why i like him i'm going to play those two okay but it creates that sense of obligation and a relationship will always continue on the path that it was started it takes a lot of like discipline on the part of both of you to you know break that pattern but the opposite of that is lust and lust kind of gets a bad rap like it's like irresponsible or dangerous part of seduction is is creating that sense of danger you know it's it's many things um like i was saying adventure excitement romance spontaneity and living on the edge right having that dangerous aspect about you but lust is like it's a desire it's a craving it's a hunger like you just are so into each other it's mutual attraction mutual admiration mutual arousal mutual desire at the same time it's the whole loop and you just want each other so badly you can't resist you can't hold back instead of saying oh third date and well he impressed me here and he did this and he bought this for me the affectionate path it's it's straight to the heart of the matter arousal primal physical nature does that make sense it does and i guess i wonder you know in the community you get this um you get this notion that you have to have comfort before you escalate to you know kissing sets but if i get you straight you know you're saying uh you should just go straight to sex it's straight to escalation you know you have your well it's your arousal yeah i didn't mean to wrap go ahead no it's cool um but where does the comfort fall in your um scheme in my reality comfort is mostly physical safety if she feels safe around me and she's comfortable with my escalation that's about it it's it's not this sense of like it's non-verbal yeah non-verbal comfort was there another part to that okay cool thank you man thank you