 So I've been on this positivity kick and I started with my Eugenia Cooney video yesterday and at the end I said I was going to be recording a video about Taylor Nicole Dean today but she just released her comeback video and I want to discuss it and talk about all of the amazing things that we can learn from it. What is up everybody? This is Chris from the Rewired Soul where we talk about the problem but focus on the solution and if you're new to my channel what I try to do is take different topics going on in the YouTube community try to see what lessons we can learn from them and two things that I'm very passionate about are mental health and addiction recovery. So if you're into any of that stuff make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell. So couple quick things all right full transparency those of you who don't know Taylor Nicole Dean and myself have a little bit of a history nothing massive but if you want to learn more about that I'm not going to explain it in this video I've talked about it enough already but I have it in a chapter of my brand new book canceled inside YouTube cancel culture and you can get the book for free until the end of the month down in the description below the ebook is absolutely free if you want to check it out and read about that and everything like that all right second thing that I want to talk about before going into this for those of you who don't know me um I don't know Taylor Nicole Dean all right aside from like one or two little interactions on Twitter I do not know her so how in any way shape or form and I am I qualified to discuss this all right so a little bit about me hi my name is Chris I am a recovering alcoholic and an addict much like Taylor Nicole Dean my drug of choice was opioids my specific drug of choice was prescription opioids and I am very very very lucky all right that I did not resort to heroin and it's interesting too just hearing her story there's so much I could relate to and I was just this close to trying heroin myself but anyways I've been sober since June 23rd 2012 I got sober on my 27th birthday aside from that I worked at a drug and alcohol treatment center for a little over three years we specialized in dual diagnosis treatment so people who had an addiction as well as a mental illness all right aside from that I am halfway through becoming a certified alcoholic drug counselor and I'm a certified life coach all right and real quick other announcement if you love free stuff and I'm so good to you Taylor Nicole Dean talks a few times about how she's going to possibly make some more videos about the disease of addiction and the science of it so when I was working at the treatment center I actually did an entire group um and it was all about the science of addiction the neuroscience will separate the addict from the non addict and everything like that that course is available online for free it's only about an hour hour and a half I will link that as well with the free book down in the description down in the pinned comment below so if you're interested in this topic of addiction and want to learn the science behind it make sure you check that out I taught this at a fully accredited treatment center all right so anyways like first and foremost like this was what my uh my original video was just going to be like talking about how proud I am of Taylor you know she just hit two months I think last week and like that is that's huge that is so awesome and here's the thing like for anybody who's not an addict like it doesn't seem like that big of a deal but like if you watch Taylor's video which is also linked down below if you're an addict like myself if you're an addict like Taylor like two months is such a long time like try staying clean for like two hours right I remember somebody because some of us uh uh us addicts when we're in early recovery we're like oh I only have this many days I only have that and here's what somebody told me like imagine your dealer not getting back to you for two months now try to tell me that's not a long time you know what I mean so that's so awesome and anyways make sure you're following her on Twitter and on Instagram she's posting a lot of inspirational recovery stuff and the reason I make these videos is because like I want to shine a light on these positive things I want other people to have hope right like it's it's huge seeing what other people have been through and seeing how they've overcome it I hope that inspires you and I hope Taylor's story is inspiring you while also learning some things from it so I have some notes here so I'm gonna break this down into a few sections like her videos like a little over an hour long and I could probably do an hour long video but I'm gonna try to keep it short and sweet even though we're already four and a half minutes into this video all right so the first thing is her sharing her story on her channel of like 1.7 million subscribers that is amazing and especially at two months I think the first time I shared my story I was maybe three or four months and I did that in front of like 10 people at an outpatient treatment center I got invited to go speak and I shared my story and like that was nerve-wracking as hell so the fact that she was able to do this like like you go girl so the first thing that I could really relate to and I want you guys to ask yourself whenever I always try to teach you guys whenever you're consuming content like ask yourself if you can relate to the other person's story right so that's what I do when I'm consuming this content as well and the first thing that I could really relate to is Taylor talking about you know her self-esteem issues and how her need to be loved and have somebody who was into her right like just kind of makes you dismiss all of the red flags all right like I know some of you can relate to that too I did the same thing I was in so many toxic and abusive relationships and like Taylor discusses too like people warned her right and we just completely neglect that I had so many women so many women who I would date and like people warned me about them and everything but I just had this empty void and I thought somebody else can come in there and fix me right but Taylor also talks about that kind of codependency aspect of this and Taylor discusses Alan on for any of you who struggle with codependency there's actually another program called codependence anonymous all right highly recommend you check that out if you struggle with codependency but Taylor discusses how she wanted to leave but felt like she couldn't leave because she needed somebody there right but also the other person can make you feel like if you leave them then something awful is going to happen to them too right and that gets you stuck you stay trapped and some of us stay in these kind of codependent abusive or toxic relationships for years right and that's another thing like I hope I hope any woman or even any man out there I wasn't like I said I was in many abusive physically emotionally abusive relationships like with women and not a lot of guys open up about this but something I want you to take away from Taylor's video if you're somebody in one of those relationships like you can get out of it all right Taylor is living proof that you can leave that relationship okay the next thing I could really relate to is Taylor's talking about the first time she drank and the next morning she was just craving it and obsessing about it same thing after the first time she tried coke like girl like for us addicts in recovery it's important for us to look back on these situations like it's not normal I can relate to it like the first time I drank I fell in love and that's all I wanted to do anymore for some people addiction progresses over time you start abusing it a little bit right you start getting a little bit of trouble but for others it starts right away it starts immediately and that is one of the ways I know I could never go back to any of those substances and understanding the science of it too like and I talk about this in that free course I mentioned that's down below our brains respond differently to these substances most people get a little buzz you know or they get drunk or they get high we get this excess flood of dopamine and we crave it and we want it more and we can't stop thinking about it what we learn in 12 step programs is the mental obsession in the physical craving right not only can we not stop thinking about it but once we have one we can't stop so even though we say I'm only gonna do this much or I'm only gonna drink that much we keep going there's no stop for any of us so the other thing that I hope people understand from her video and I really hope her video helps a lot of people develop more empathy so she talks about how she started abusing drugs because of her toxic and emotionally abusive relationship this is more common than you know working in the treatment center it was mainly women I met who struggled with this so many women who were in abusive relationships right or their their spouse or significant other was addicted to drugs like Taylor discusses how she started getting more into the substances as a way to cope right because she talks about how her ex would become like this crazy person everything and she just wanted to numb herself and this is something that's very very common I've seen mothers do this right where they had an abusive husband and they felt guilty and awful because they felt that they needed to have this escape through alcohol or drugs to deal with their abusive relationship and they felt awful because they they they felt like you know I need to be a parent to my children which they do need to do obviously right but they're finding a way to cope and one of the reasons that we develop these addictions and even if your thing isn't drugs or alcohol maybe it's sex food gambling something else shopping right one of the things is is that we develop these unhealthy coping skills we don't know how to do it so in Taylor's case or even in my case we don't know how to leave a relationship or we don't know how to set up boundaries something I could really relate to us Taylor talking about being a people pleaser all right like if you're a people pleaser like I am or like Taylor is it makes it really hard for us to leave relationships because part of people pleasing a major part is we're really worried about other people's perception of us you know what I mean but the other one is is that we sometimes put other people's feelings and emotions ahead of ours okay and that's one of the reasons why mental health recovery addiction recovery is is selfish like we have to be selfish we have to put this ahead of other people like I have my beautiful girlfriend Tristan and she's never tried to get me high but you can bet your butt she came up in here with some drugs I'd be like peace out you hear that Tristan yeah you did so Taylor talks about that first time she got sober and she talks about going to Disney world and how miserable she was sober and oh my god I can relate so much like I am somebody who relapsed many many times and I hope any of you trying to recover or you know somebody who's trying to stay sober and when they relapsed like I hope you learn from myself I hope you learn from Taylor like she she talks about how she now has clarity on this like even though that physical craving was gone she had the help of Suboxone which I'll talk about in a second the mental obsession is still there this is why we have to work a program and this is why like it doesn't matter if it's an addiction to substances it doesn't matter if it's self-harming behaviors it doesn't matter if it's an eating disorder we will relapse if we don't get this thing right you see what I mean like I was just kind of talking about how we developed these unhealthy coping skills and it took me up until seven years ago when I actually started working on myself to learn how to manage life in a better way because when we become addicted to something like I couldn't even go to the grocery store unless I was high right I couldn't hang out with friends or go to a family gathering unless I was high I remember being invited to my ex's you know like nephews literally games and I remember showing up late because I had to meet my dealer and be high so part of recovery is learning how to live a good happy fulfilling life right without the substances and that's why I still work on this thing every single day but anyway she talks about suboxone and I made a few videos about it and I'm glad like Taylor talks about like tapering off of that so there are some people who decide to do a long-term suboxone maintenance and if you're gonna do that you do you baby girl all right but what Taylor was talking about is something that I talk about too some people don't realize that you can become dependent on it and then you'll go through withdrawal all over again you know what I mean so Taylor shows her bathroom and what it looked like and when I was watching that I literally I got chills um and Taylor if for some reason you ever see this video like I I can relate like it it just reminded me of how I used to live and it helps me stay grateful for how I am now like um although I wasn't shooting up that's how my apartment looked it was just littered with empty pill bottles everywhere it was disgusting there was empty alcohol bottles in every room of the house or my dingy apartment it was just awful and like I after I watched her video and uh like I got up and I was walking around the apartment I was just like god thank god I don't got to live that way anymore like for any of you who ask you know like Chris how are you always in a good mood how are you always in a good mood it's because I don't live that way anymore you know what I mean and no matter what happens in my life no matter what life throws at me like and this is this is why I need to listen to people like Taylor share their story all right like my clean time does not mean a damn thing like I have to listen to others who are newly in sobriety because it reminds me on a regular basis how I can easily go back to that and where I don't want to be because the longer you stay clean your brain starts to be like hmm it wasn't that bad right but when I see somebody like Taylor were so fresh in her mind because it was just two months ago right like I'm like oh yeah you know I really really don't want to go back to that because trust me even with seven years I have some really really rough days but if the thought of even drinking or using pops into my mind it's like I don't want to go back to that you see what I mean and that leads me into this next topic about her talking about how bad withdrawal is so I'll be honest with you real quick anytime somebody somebody even in their first year and this is just based on my experience anytime somebody in their first year shares their story I get really worried that they're gonna kind of romanticize it and I do want to give credit to Taylor on this because she didn't she talks about how awful it is and that's really important for somebody like me like when I watch people share their stories because especially somebody like Taylor who has such a massive audience like by the time you in that video you're like this is terrible and you saw the pictures that she shared and everything like that but anyways she talks about how opioid withdrawal is just the worst experience the worst pain and I can relate to that I can relate to that so much and she shares about how she was trying to find somebody anybody to find her some drugs so she could just stop the pain listen to me very carefully this is why you go to detox okay one of the number one reasons for relapse is because people try to detox on their own and it's so agonizing so painful depending on the substance you're coming down from it could be deadly substances like alcohol benzodiazepines you can have seizures some people go into cardiac arrest all right so this is another reason so aside from like the aches and the pains and like when she was talking about the hot cold the temperature changes and she was talking about switching the shower knob like it brought me back but here's the thing you guys listen to me very carefully I am seven years sober and I never ever ever want to forget how bad withdrawal is all right I did a cold turkey opioid withdrawal I know I'm telling you guys not to do that but my story is a little bit different I've shared it many times I wasn't given the option to get a medical detox with suboxone but anyways I never want to forget how agonizing and how terrible that experience was because if I keep that fresh in my head even seven years later even hearing somebody like Taylor sharing that story it makes me never want to go back to it right here's a little trick that I learned if you don't want to go through withdrawal again don't pick up another drink or a drug and that's the way I think that's that's one of the ways I stay clean so the last thing I want to talk about is Taylor discusses how when she got into treatment she wanted to leave and she was like okay I'm gonna sign myself out I'm gonna do this and then she started like meeting some people and everything and I could relate so so so much so real quick story about my experience my mom forced me to go into a sober living for 30 days I begged her I kicked and screamed I didn't want to go I didn't want to get clean I didn't want to get sober I didn't want to live with all these other guys we have like 17 or 18 other guys in my sober living and she said just 30 days I'm like okay cool so I just sat there I isolated I didn't talk to anybody I didn't you know nothing right I just laid in bed all the time and right when 30 days was up I was like packing up I was so excited I was like all right mom so you're gonna let me come move in with you or how are we gonna do this and she just laughed at me she's like you're not leaving oh I was just trying to get you in there you're staying there for at least 90 days and I got furious but it was the best thing to happen to me so I stayed there and I ended up staying in that sober living past the 90 days I stayed there for about four or five months because I saw how beneficial it was for me all right so like again I'm so so so proud of Taylor Nicole Dean and again she's been posting some awesome stuff on social media that's that I hope a ton of people are being inspired by I can't wait to see how she progresses and shares more of her journey and everything like somebody like me I'm really fascinated just with how people stay clean and sober because like the first year is a mother effort my second year was harder than that so you know although Taylor's you know like an animal channel channel I hope she kind of shares bits and pieces of her recovery as we go along it sounds like she already plans to but anyways super super super proud of her and I just love when YouTubers use their platform to share their experience strength and hope you know what I mean so that's all I got for this video again don't forget down in the description below free copy of my book cancelled free addiction course all about the science of addiction check that out down in the description down in the pinned comment below but if you like this video please give it a thumbs up if you're new make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell and a huge huge thank you to everybody supporting the channel over on patreon you are all amazing and a huge thank you to everybody who's bought my other books or supports the channel in any other way I love you all all right thanks again for watching I'll see you next time