 Why the narcissist has to hurt you. Narcissists need narcissistic supply. They need fuel, and they get that fuel by devaluing you, punishing you, putting you down, insulting you. All of these things give the narcissist fuel. They make them feel better about themselves. They make them feel powerful and important, significant because they're able to affect you. They're able to get a reaction out of you. And if they don't do that, then those emotions that you are feeling is what then they're left to deal with. And as we know, narcissists struggle to deal with their own emotions. So when you look at it, the narcissist is projecting their emotions onto you. It's like they say, hurt people hurt people. That is true. But I know many people will be watching this video and they will be thinking, Narc survivor, that's very invalidating to us as victims. That's giving the abuser an excuse to abuse. And to that, I would say, call it whatever you like. See it however you like. I'm not coming on here to invalidate victims. I've been one myself in the past. So I'm not coming on here to do that. But my mission is not just to validate victims. I'm also here to bring the truth, even if that truth may be uncomfortable to hear. And the truth is that hurt people do hurt people. Just think about it for a moment. If the narcissist was genuinely happy and secure with themselves and their own lives, why would they go out of their way to hurt you? Why would they do that? If anything, when you're happy with yourself and your life, your cup is full and you have this desire to pour into someone else's cup, you just naturally want to give, you want to share, that's the effect of true happiness. And I would even go as far as to say that people who lack empathy cannot experience true happiness because how could they ever be happy? They never feel the desire to give anything to anyone unless it just benefits them. When you are truly happy with yourself, you have this desire to give to people, to share. Narcissists never have that desire because they lack empathy. It's all about taking everything for themselves. So yes, I would say that the narcissist has to hurt you because they're hurt and they can't deal with their own emotions. They use you to regulate their emotions by rejecting their emotions onto you and watching you go through it. But now we have to look at the other side of the coin. Why are they hurt? Are they really just these poor, helpless victims? Or is it something that you've done to make them miserable? Maybe they're not happy with their lives because they're with you. No, of course not. That's not it at all. Narcissists are very arrogant and entitled. They think they deserve it all. They think they deserve the best. And even if they did have whatever they think is the best, they would have found something wrong with it. If there was a perfect person walking the girth, the narcissist would surely find something wrong with them because there's something wrong with the narcissist and they have to project that onto you. No matter how great you may be, you may be a very successful, intelligent, attractive person, who cares about people and always tries to do the right thing, but it doesn't matter because the narcissist will still find something wrong with you. It's either that or they're forced to reflect on something wrong with themselves, which is something that they're not going to do. They're not going to entertain that, but that is vulnerability to see our own flaws and imperfections, our own faults and mistakes. When we reflect on that, that is when we can truly connect to people. You can't connect or relate to anyone when you're sitting on your high horse thinking you're better than everyone. It doesn't work that way. When you do that, you close yourself off and that's exactly what narcissists are doing because they're very insecure and they just don't want to accept their flaws and the sad thing is everything that they really want and never fully get is just on the other side of them accepting their flaws. If they would just do that, they could have it all, but that is one thing that they are not willing to do. Instead, they hurt people, they push people away, and they distance themselves. They have this us versus them mentality as though they are superior, they are special or different in some way and then they use that to justify hurting you, which then makes them feel better about themselves and it's just this vicious cycle that goes on and on. It's just a loop and they can't get out of it because in some sick twisted way it works for them. It does what it's supposed to do. It makes them feel better for a moment. They just look at it as though in that moment they have a choice and that choice is between pain or pleasure and narcissists don't do well with pain so every time they pick pleasure they pick that instant gratification and that's why things are the way they are. This is why they have to hurt you. It's either that or they pick pain and why would they pick pain? They would only do that if they cared about you and narcissists lack empathy. As we know the whole nature of the disorder is that they only care about themselves. So why would they ever pick the pain over the pleasure? Why would they do that? If it's not for themselves why would they do it for anyone else? And this is the dilemma that narcissists find themselves in. Deep talk today why narcissists have to hurt you. This is it. Make sure you share this video. Get this message out there so that people can understand the way that a narcissist mind works because as you know I have had many experiences throughout my life dealing with narcissists and the entire time thinking that there was something wrong with me and then stumbling on what a narcissist actually is and then realizing that I'm not to blame for everything as I thought I was which I'm sure is the same experience that many of you have had. So yeah please get this message out there so that other people can understand everything that they've been dealing with. It's very important for you to do that because if you don't share it then maybe other people won't see it. The most difficult part is really to produce this content and put it on here. It takes a lot of work. All I'm asking from you is just a few seconds of your time to post, to share this on social media with your friends, with your family. It would really mean a lot if you could do that right now. Thank you. 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