 the three ways a man knows you're the one. What are those three ways a man knows that you are the one? So if you've ever heard the phrase in real estate, what's the most important things in real estate? It's location, location, location. That's right, location, location, location. So the three ways a man knows that you're the one is going to be predicated on the following. It's going to be appreciation, appreciation, appreciation. Now there's other words used for appreciation. There is gratitude and grateful. Gratitude, grateful, appreciation. But I prefer to call this three ways a man knows you're the one is appreciation, appreciation, appreciation. People often do couples actually express appreciation for one another. See, we could say something like thank you for taking out the trash or thank you for taking me out to dinner. And that's certainly a nice way to represent appreciation. But we almost do the words thank you out of some sort of habit. Out of this, we say thank you to the barista at the coffee shop. We say thank you to the grocery clerk. We say thank you in a variety of different ways. But I'm talking about genuine heartfelt appreciation. And I think this is where so many couples don't meet one another in the dating, mating and relating realm in a sense of genuine heartfelt appreciation. In fact, one of the exercises I do for my clients and for my friends is to actually even when I'm communicating with friends, I always say can we share appreciation about each other to each other? Can we share what we appreciate about each other to actually use the words? What are you most grateful for? What are you what? What do you appreciate about me? Now that might feel a little bit contrived to actually kind of request that. But I'm here to acknowledge that couples that make a practice to every day express appreciation for one another. It is a building block to building love. And here's the thing. If a man struggles to express appreciation for you, and you do this on a regular basis with each other, instead of things like how's your day going? Did you have a good day? I hope you had a good day. The surface level conversations that many couples have in the dating realm is all centered about the present day experiences from a physical perspective. If you want to get a man to open up, if you want to get a woman to open up, if you want to build a closer connection with another human being, then actually expressing what you appreciate about each other goes a long way to building that. And oh, and I almost got derailed. I forgot to say. So for the man or woman who's unable to express their appreciation or they struggle with it, it's most likely because they have a block to love. They have a genuine block to love. They have most likely been deeply hurt from their past experiences. And because of that, they have walls up. See, sadly, a vast majority of people in the dating marketplace have walls up. They have so much built up fear. And this is true for you ladies as well. There is so much built up fear around connecting with one another that it makes it difficult to actually... See, think about it. If there's walls up for just even being able to be in a space of appreciation, there's gigantic walls up for love. Nathie, sadly, we've been indoctrinated to believe that men must climb to the highest tower to rescue the maiden. See, what that represents, if someone is up in a high tower, whether it's a man or a woman and you must rescue them for love, then they're not actually in a state of appreciation. You know, it's interesting. Let's take the movie Pretty Woman, okay? Now, in the real world, Richard Gere would have preferred to keep her as a beck and call girl. Let's just be honest. This is a movie. But he does climb up because he recognized... He climbs up the stair... Oh my God. What's it called? The outside ladders to her room. I think she says something. You know, what happens when he rescues her? She says he... She rescues him right back. But in that space, what he recognized about Richard Gere and Julia Roberts, he rec... Firescape is what it was. Please forgive me. He recognized that he was appreciative of her until couples actually... And here's my invitation for everyone because here's... I will say relationships will be doomed if there isn't a regular practice of appreciation for one another. In fact, I'm going to make a suggestion that you make it a habit every single day to carve out three to five minutes to express three things you appreciate about your partner. And if someone struggles with this, if they struggle with it, then you probably have... Or if they resist it all together. If someone resists, I don't need to share this with you. Don't you know I already love you? Folks, I'm going to hear... Say something. This is really poignant. So let me... Let me give me a second to collect my thoughts. If somebody says to you, don't you know I love you? Say, I'm just a human being who sometimes has fear in securities. And I've had past experiences where someone claimed and professed they love me only to change their mind in the future. So I'd simply like to make it a practice that we express appreciation for one another. We use the word gratitude and appreciation or grateful instead of thank you. One of my relationships where I lived with somebody and we'd go shopping together at the grocery store or at Costco. And I made a request that whoever paid that particular time, because we used to take turns paying for things. Actually taking turns is a sign of love when you're actually investing your resources in a relationship, whether it's a man or a woman mutually investing. I made a request and I said instead of saying thank you, can we say I really appreciated that you treated this time? I really appreciated that you treated this time and I'm very grateful for your generosity. We actually made that a practice every single time as we were leaving the store. Now that in and of itself isn't going to build deep love. I'm just saying this alone isn't going to change a person or guarantee that your relationship isn't doomed. But these are the building blocks and in this context, in this video, I'm offering this building block for everyone to explore different ways to approach a relationship. There's another book everyone might want to read. How to be an adult in a relationship. Five key keys to meaningful loving. And again, there's a link below. Do you realize that most couples just rely on that amped up chemistry, that amped up chemistry to sustain the relationship? And why does it seem like they fade fairly early on? Or you might accept a behavior you can't stand, but that means you're not going to go the distance. I think it's because couples don't actively have deeper conversations at the very early onset of the dating process. They're not having the deeper conversations earlier on in the dating process about really folks. Okay, quick. If you've been, okay, look at my channel is I'm a midlife dating coach. I say midlife is after baby making years and before retirement. Okay. Roughly, I'd say most of my demographic is between the ages of 42 and 69, roughly speaking. Okay. Most 75% of you are divorced. Okay. I would bet 90% of you have had at least one relationship over one year long. And I venture to say that 80% of you have had two or three relationships that lasted one or years or longer. And each one of those has there are, you know, it gives you clues as to, you know, it probably took off really well and then crashed and burned. And we oftentimes point the finger at the other person instead of looking inward and saying, how did I contribute to this ending of the relationship and really ask yourself, did we build the block? Did we take the blocks of building blocks to build a significant relationship? Most of you haven't. I can honestly say when I got married, I was following program. I was told to go to college, get a job, meet a girl, get married, buy a house, start a family. That was the only building block I had. I had no recollection, no clue how to build a relationship with another human being. And it happened in my second relationship. And by the time I got to my third significant relationship after my divorce, I began getting better at it. And yet still there was a misalignment. And sometimes just like when I shared the story earlier about my friend who was in a relationship with someone, he just, he knew there was something about her that bugged him that he wouldn't go the distance, but he was happy to stay in a relationship. Men oftentimes will nest into a relationship because it's easier to accept most of what you like or, excuse me, accept something you don't like and just kind of let it cruise its own course. Men can be rather lazy because they do tend to nest into a relationship. And I'm here to say, and I'm here to encourage every one of you to approach dating and relationships in your future with more consciousness, with more intentionality by speaking up. And in particular, I want you to practice this appreciation exercise and maybe you could do it like this. Every night before you go to bed, you get on the phone with each other. If you're, if you're not with each other or when you're with each other, do this right before bed and express three things you appreciate about your partner, express three things you appreciate about your partner. And hopefully this becomes part of the deep roots of trust that you build with one another to explore a deeper, healthier, happier relationship. Is this sinking in? Is this resonating? Please let me know if it is. Post a comment below. I'd like to hear all your thoughts. As always, if you find value in my videos, please hit that like button. Please share this video. Please subscribe to my channel and hit that notification bell so you could be notified of new videos. And always, if you want to connect with me directly, right here's a link to schedule a discovery call with me links below to schedule a call with me to join my group called midlife love mastery to get to all the books I recommend to follow me on Instagram. 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