 Section 0 of Quit Your Worrying. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Gillian Hendry. Quit Your Worrying by George Wharton James. To those who are standing on the banks of worry before the ocean of God's love, I cry aloud, Come on in, the water's fine. Poem Just Be Glad by James Whitcomb Riley. O heart of mine, we shouldn't worry so. What we have missed of calm we couldn't have, you know. What we've met of stormy pain and of sorrow's driving rain, we can better meet again if it blow. We have erred in that dark hour we have known when the tear fell with the shower all alone. We're not shine and shower-blent as the gracious master meant, let us temper our content with his own. For we know not every moral can be sad, so forgetting all the sorrow we have had, let us fold away our fears and put by our foolish tears and through all the coming years just be glad. Forward. Between 20 and 30 years ago, I became involved in a series of occurrences and conditions of so painful and distressing a character that for over six months I was unable to sleep more than one or two hours out of the 24. In common parlance I was worrying myself to death. When mercifully, a total collapse of mind and body came. My physicians used the polite euphemism of cerebral congestion to describe my state, which in reality was one of temporary insanity and it seemed almost hopeless that I should ever recover my health and poise. For several months I hovered between life and death and my brain between reason and unreason. In due time however, both health and mental poise came back in reasonable measure and I asked myself what would be the result of my return to the condition of worry that culminated in the disaster. This question and my endeavours at its solution led to the gaining of a degree of philosophy which materially changed my attitude toward life. Though some of the chief causes of my past worry were removed, there were still enough adverse and untoward circumstances surrounding me to give me cause for worry, if I allowed myself to yield to it. So I concluded that my mind must positively and absolutely be prohibited from dwelling upon those things that seemed justification for worry and I determined to set before me the ideal of a life without worry. How was it to be brought about? At every fresh attack of the harassing demon I rebuked myself with the stern command quit your worrying. Little by little I succeeded in obeying my own orders. A measurable degree of serenity has since blessed my life. It has been no freer than other men's lives from the ordinary and a few extraordinary causes of worry but I have learned the lesson. I have quit worrying. To help others to attain the same desirable and happy condition has been my aim in these pages. It was with set purpose that I chose this title. I might have selected don't worry but I knew that would fail to convey my principal thought to the casual observer of the title. People will worry. They do worry. What they want to know and need to learn is how to quit worrying. This I have attempted herein to show with the full knowledge however that no one person's recipe can infallibly be used by any other person so that in reality all I have tried to do is to set forth the means I have followed to teach myself the delightful lesson of serenity of freedom from worry and thereby to suggest to receptive minds a way by which they may possibly attain the same desirable end. It was the learned and wise Dr. Johnson who wrote quote that may be justly numbered among the benefactors of mankind who contract the great rules of life into short sentences that may easily be impressed on the memory and taught by frequent recollection to recur habitually to the mind. End quote. I have no desire to claim as original the title used for these observations but I do covet the joy of knowing that I have so impressed it upon the memory of thousands by its constant recurrence it will aid in banishing the monster worry. It is almost unavoidable that in a practical treatise of this nature there should be some repetition both in description of worries and the remedies suggested. To the critical reader however let me say do not worry about this for I am far more concerned to get my thought into the heads and hearts of my readers to be esteemed a great writer. Let me help but one troubled soul to quit worrying and I will forgo all the honours of the ages that might have come to me had I been an essayist of power and I have repeated purposely for I know that some thoughts have to knock again and again ere they are admitted to the places where they are the most needed. I have written strongly perhaps some will think too strongly these however must remember that I have written advisedly I have been considering the subject for half or three parts of a lifetime I have studied men and women carefully watched their lives talked with them and seen the lines worry has engraved on their faces I have seen and felt the misery caused by their unnecessary worries I have sat by the bedside of people made chronic invalids by worry and I have stood in the cells of maniacs driven insane by worry hence I hate it in all its forms and have expressed myself only as the facts have justified wherein I have sought to show how one might quit his worrying these pages presuppose an earnest desire a sincere purpose on the part of the reader to attain that desirable end there is no universal medicine which one can drink in six doses and thus be cured of his disease I do not offer my book as a mental cure all or nostrum that if swallowed whole will cure in five days or ten as I have tried to show I conceive worry to be unnatural and totally unnecessary because of its practical denial of what ought to be and I believe may be the fundamental basis of a man's life namely his perfect abiding assurance in the fatherly love of God as little Pippa sang God's in his heaven all's right with the world the only way therefore to lose our sense of worry is to get back to naturalness to God and learn the peace, joy, happiness serenity that come with practical trust in him with some people this change may come instantly with others more slowly personally I have had to learn slowly line upon line, precept upon precept here a little, there a little and I would caution my readers not to expect too much all at once but I am fully convinced that as faith, trust and naturalness grow worry will cease will slow off like the dead skin of the serpent and leave those once bound by it free from its malign influence who cannot see and feel that such a consummation is devoutly to be wished worth working and earnestly striving for if I help a few I shall be more than repaid if many my heart will rejoice signed George Wharton James Pasadena, California February 1916 end of section 0 chapter 1 of quit your worrying by George Wharton James this LibriVox recording is in the public domain recording by Gillian Henry the curse of worry of how many persons can it truthfully be said they never worry they are perfectly happy contented serene it would be interesting if each of my readers were to recall his acquaintances and friends over their condition in this regard and then report to me the result what a budget of worried persons I should have to catalogue and alas I am afraid how few of the serene would there be named when John Burroughs wrote his immortal poem Waiting he struck a deeper note than he dreamed of and the reason it made so tremendous an impression upon the English speaking world was that it was a new note to them it opened up a vision that had not before contemplated let me quote it here in full serene I fold my hands and wait nor care for wind or tide or sea I rave no more against time or fate for lo my own shall come to me I stay my haste I make delays for what avails this eager pace I stand amid the eternal ways and what is mine shall know my face asleep awake by night or day the friends I seek are seeking me no wind can drive my bark astray nor change the tide of destiny what matter if I stand alone I wait with joy the coming years my heart shall reap where it has sown and garner up its fruit of tears the waters know their own and draw the brook that springs in yonder height so flows the good with equal law unto the soul of pure delight the stars come nightly to the sky the tidal wave unto the sea nor time nor space nor deep nor high can keep my own away from me I have been wonderfully struck by the fact that in studying the Upanishads and other sacred books of the East there is practically no reference to the kind of worry that is the bane and curse of our occidental world in conversation with the learned men of the Orient I find this same delightful fact indeed they have no word in their languages to express our idea of fretful worry worry is a purely western product the outgrowth of our materialism our eager striving after place and position power and wealth our determination to be housed clothed and dueled as well as our neighbours and a little better if possible in fact it comes from our failure to know that life is spiritual not material that all these outward things are the mere passing show the tinsel, the gods, the tissue paper the blue and red lights of the theatre the painted scenery the mock, heroes and heroines of the stage rather than the real settings of the real life of real men and women what does the inventor who knows that his invention will help his fellows care about the newest dance or the latest style in ties, gloves or shoes what does the woman whose heart and brain are completely engaged in relieving suffering care if she is not familiar with the latest novel or the latest fashions in flounced pantalits life is real life is earnest and this does not mean unduly solemn and somber but that it deals with the real things rather than the paper flower shows of the stage and the imaginary things of so-called society it is the fashion of our active aggressive material occidental civilisation to sneer and scoff at the quiet, passive and less material civilisation of the Orient we despise, that is, the unthinking majority do the studious, contemplative Oriental we believe in being up and doing but in this one particular of worry we have much to learn from the Oriental if happiness and a large content be a laudable aim of life how far are we, the occidental world succeeding in attaining it few there be who are content and, as I have already suggested few there be who are free from worry on the other hand, while active happiness may be somewhat scarce in India a large content is not uncommon and worry as we Westerners understand it is almost unknown hence we need to find the happy mean between the material activity of our own civilisation and the mental passivity of that of the Orientals therein will be found the calm serenity of an active mind the reasonable acceptance of things as they are because we know they are good the restfulness that comes from the assurance that all things work together for good to them that love God that worry is a curse no intelligent observer of life will deny it has hindered millions from progressing and never benefitted a soul it occupies the mind with that which is injurious and thus keeps out the things that might benefit and bless it is an active and real manifestation of the fable of the man who placed the frozen asp in his bosom as he warmed it back to life the reptile turned and fatally bit his benefactor worry is a dangerous injurious book the reading of which not only takes up the time that might have been spent in reading a good instructive and helpful book but at the same time poisons the mind of the reader corrupts his soul with evil images and sets his feet on the pathway to destruction why is it that creatures endowed with reason distress themselves and everyone around them by worrying it might seem reasonable for the wild creatures of the wood animals without reason to worry as to how they should secure their food and live safely with wilder animals and men seeking their blood and hunting them but that men and women endued with the power of thought capable of seeing the why and wherefore of things should worry is one of the strange and peculiar evidences that our so called civilisation is not all that it ought to be the wild Indian of the desert forest or canyon seldom if ever worries he is too great a natural philosopher to be engaged in so foolish and unnecessary a business he has a better practical system of life than has his white and civilised brother who worries for he says, change what can be changed bear the unchangeable without a murmur with this philosophy he braves the wind and the rain the sand and the storm the extremes of heat and cold the plethora of a good harvest or the famine of a drought if he complains it is within himself and if he whines and whimpers no one ever hears him his face may become a little more stern under the higher pressure he may tighten his waist belt a whole or two to stifle the complaints of his empty stomach but his voice loses no note of its cheeriness and his smile none of its sweet serenity why should the rude and brutal savage be thus while the cultured, educated, refined man and women of civilisation worry wrinkles into their faces grey hairs upon their heads quarrelousness into their voices and bitterness into their hearts when we use the word worry what do we mean? the word comes from the old Saxon and was in imitation of the sound caused by the choking or strangling of an animal when seized by the throat by another animal we still refer to the worrying of sheep by dogs the seizing by the throat with the teeth killing or badly injuring by repeated biting shaking, tearing and so on from this original meaning the word has enlarged until now it means to tease, to trouble to harass with importunity or with care or anxiety in other words it is undue care needless anxiety unnecessary brooding fretting thought what a wonderful picture the original source of the word suggests of the latter day meaning worry takes our manhood womanhood, our high ambitions our laudable endeavours our daily lives by the throat and strangles, chokes, bites tears shakes them hanging on like a wolf a weasel or a bulldog sucking out our lifeblood draining our energies our hopes, our aims our desires and leaving us torn, empty shaken, useless bloodless, hopeless and despairing it is the nightmare of life that rides us to discomfort wretchedness, despair and to that death in life that is no life at all it is the vampire that sucks out the good of us and leaves us like the rind of a squeezed out orange it is the cooking process and wastes all the nutritious juices of the meat and leaves nothing but the useless and tasteless fibre worry is a worse thief than the burglar or highwayman it goes beyond the trainwrecker or the vile rich who used to lure sailing vessels upon a treacherous shore in its relentless heartlessness once it begins to control it never releases its hold unless its victim wakes up to the sure ruin that awaits him and frees himself from its bondage by making a great continuous and successful fight it steals the joy of married life of fatherhood and motherhood it destroys social life club life business life and religious life it robs a man of friendships and makes his days long gloomy periods rapidly passing epochs of joy and happiness it throws around its victim a chilling atmosphere as does the iceberg or the snowbank it exhales the mists and fogs of wretchedness and misunderstanding it chills family happiness checks friendly intercourse and renders the business occupations of life curses instead of blessings worry manifests itself in a variety of ways it is protein in its versatility it can be physical or mental the hypochondriac conceives that everything is going to the DEMNITION BALWALS nothing can reassure him he sees in every article of diet a hidden fiend of dyspepsia in every drink a demon of torture every man he meets is a scoundrel and every woman a leech children are growing worse daily and society is rotten the church is organised for the mere fattening of a raft of preachers and parson's who preach what they don't believe and never try to practice lawyers and judges are all dishonest swindlers caring nothing for honour and justice and seeking only their fees physicians and surgeons are pitiless wretches who scare their patients in order to extort money from them therapists are waiting lurking hunting for chances to graft eager to steal from their constituents at every opportunity he expects everything every animal every man every woman to get the best of him and as a rule he is not disappointed for we can nearly always be accommodated in life and get that for which we look we are told that all these imaginary ills are from physical causes the hypochondrium is supposed to be affected and as it is located under the short ribs the hypochondriac continually suffers from that awful sinking at the pit of the stomach that makes him feel as if the bottom had dropped out of life itself he can either eat digest his food walk, sit, rest, work take pleasure, exercise or sleep he is the victim of innumerable ills his tongue, his lips his mouth are dry and parched his throat full of slime and phlegm his stomach painful his bowels full of gas and he regards himself as cursed of god a walking receptacle of woe to physician, wife, husband children, employer, employee pastor and friend alike the hypochondriac is a pest a nuisance a chill and almost a curse and poor creature these facts do not take away or lessen our sympathy for him for though most of his ills are imaginary he suffers more than do those who come in contact with him then there is the neurasthenic the mentally collapsed whose collapse invariably comes from too great tension or worry I know several housewives who became neurasthenic by too great anxiety to keep their houses spotless not a speck of dust must be anywhere the slightest appearance of inattention or carelessness in this matter was a great source of worry and they worried lest the maid fail to do her duty I know another housewife who is so dainty and refined that though her husband's income is strained almost to the breaking point she must have everything in the house so dainty and fragile no ordinary servant can be trusted to care for the furniture wash the dishes, polish the floors and so on and the result is she is almost a confirmed neurasthenic because in the first place she worries over her dainty things and secondly exhausts herself in caring for these unnecessary fragile household equipments every neurasthenic is a confirmed warrior he ever sits on the stool of repentance clothing himself in sackcloth and ashes for what he has done or not done he cries aloud by his acts every five minutes or so we have done those things which we ought not to have done and have left undone those things which we ought to have done and there is no health in us everything past is regretted everything present is in doubt and nothing but anxieties and uncertainties meet the future if he holds a position of responsibility he asks his subordinates or associates to perform certain services and then worries himself to death watching to see that they do it right or afraid lest they forget to do it at all he wakes up from a sound sleep in dread lest he forgot to lock the door turn out the electric light in the hall or put out the gas he becomes the victim of uncertainty and indecision he fears lest he decide wrongly he worries that he hasn't yet decided and yet having thoroughly argued a matter out and come to a reasonable conclusion allows his worries to unsettle him and is forever questioning his decision and going back to revise and re-revise it whatever he does or doesn't do he regrets and wishes he had done the converse husbands are worried about their wives wives about their husbands parents about their children children about their parents farmers are worried over their crops speculators over their gamblings investors over their investments teachers are worried over their pupils and pupils over their lessons their grades and their promotions statesmen are worried over their constituents and the latter are generally worried by their representatives people who have schemes to further legitimate or otherwise are worried when they are retarded and competitors are worried if they are not pastors are worried over their congregations occasionally about their salaries very often about their large families and now and again about their fitness for the holy office and there are few congregations that at one time or another are not worried by as well as about their pastors the minor is worried when he sees his ledge petering out or finds the ore failing to say its usual value the editor is worried lest his reporters fail to bring in the news and often worried when it is brought in to know whether it is accurate or not the chemist worries over his experiments and the inventor that certain things needful will persist in eluding him the man who has to rent a house worries when rent day approaches and many who own houses worry at the same time some owners indeed worry because there is no rent day they have no tenants, their houses are idle others worry because their tenants are not to their liking are destructive, careless or neglect the flowers and the lawn or allow the children to batter the furniture, walk in hobnails over the hardwood floors or scratch the paint off the walls men in high position worry lest their superiors are not as fully appreciative of their efforts as they should be and they in turn worry their subordinates lest they forget that they are subordinate mistresses worry about their maids and maids about their mistresses some of the former worry because they have to go into their kitchens others because they are not allowed to go some mistresses deliberately worry about their servants and others are worried because their servants insist upon doing the worrying many a wife is worried because of her husband's typewriter and many a typewriter is worried because her employer has a wife some typewriters are worried because they are not made into wives and many a one who is a wife wishes she were free again to become a typewriter thousands of girls many of them who ought yet to be wearing short dresses and playing with dolls worry because they have no sweethearts and equal thousands worry because they do have them many a lad worries because he has no lassie and many a one worries because he has yesterday I rode on a streetcar and saw a bit of bi-play that fully illustrated this on these particular cars there is a seat for two alongside the front by the motorman on this car sitting merrily with the handler of the lever sat a black-eyed pretty-faced Latin type of brunette that he was happy was evidenced by his good-natured laugh and the huge smile that covered his face from ear to ear as he responded to her sallies just then a young Italian came on the car directly to the front and seemed nettle to see the young lady talking so freely with the motorman he saluted her with a frown upon his face but evidently she did not wish to offend the newcomer nor did she wish to break with the motorman all were ill at ease distraught vexed worried she tried to bring the newcomer into the conversation which he refused the motorman eyed him with hostility now and again as he dared to neglect his duty but smiled uneasily in the face of the girl when she addressed him with an attempt at freedom by and by the youth took the empty seat by the side of the girl and endeavoured to draw her into conversation to the exclusion of the motorman she responded twisting her body and face towards him so that her sweet and ingratiating smiles could not be seen by the motorman then she reversed the process and gave a few fleeting smiles to the grim looking motorman as is clear a case of how happy could I be with either where tethered your charmer away end quote as one could well see just then the car came to a transfer point the girl had a transfer and left smiling sweetly but separately in turn to the motorman and her young Italian friend the latter watched her go then a new look came over his face which I wondered at the motorman explained the transfer point was also a division point for this car the motorman and conductor were changed and the moment the new crew came our motorman jumped from his own car ran to the one the brunette had taken and swung himself on as it crossed at right angles over the track we were to take rising to his feet the youth watched the passing car with keenest interest until it was out of sight clearly revealing the jealousy and unrest he felt in another chapter I have dealt more fully with the subject of the worries of jealousy they are demons of unrest and distress destroying the very vitals with their incessant knowing too great emphasis cannot be placed upon the physical ills that come from worry the body unconsciously reflects our mental states a fretful and worrying mother should never be allowed to suckle her child for she directly injured it by the poison secreted in her milk by the disturbances caused in her body by the worry of her mind among the many wonderfully good things said in his lifetime Henry Ward Beecher never said a wiser and truer thing than that quote it is not the revolution which destroys the machinery but the friction end quote worry is the friction that shatters the machine work to the healthy body and serene mind is a joy a blessing a health giving exercise but to the worried is a burden a curse and a destroyer go where you will when you will how you will and you will find most people worrying to a greater or lesser extent indeed so full has our western world become of worry that a harsh and complaining note is far more prevalent than we are willing to believe which is expressed in a rude motto to be found hung on many an office bedroom library study and laboratory wall which reads quote life is one damn thing after another end quote note this is outlined in a block end note those gifted with a sense of humour laugh at the motto the very serious frown at it and reprobate its apparent profanity those who see no humour in anything regard it with gloom the careless with assumed indifference but in the minds of all more or less latent or subconscious there is a recognition that there is an awful lot of truth in it hence it will be seen that worry is by no means confined to the poor the well to do the prosperous and the rich indeed have far more to worry about than the poor and for one victim who suffers keenly from worry among the poor ten can be found among the rich who are its abject victims it is worry that paints the lines of care on foreheads and cheeks that should be smooth and beautiful worry bows the shoulders brings out scowls and frowns where smiles and sweet greetings should exist worry is the twister, the dwarfer the poisoner, the murderer of joy of peace, of work, of happiness the strangler the burglar of life the phantom, the vampire the ghost that scares, terrifies fills with dread yet he is a liar and a scoundrel a villain and a coward who will turn and flee if fearlessly and courageously met and defied instead of pampering and petting him humoring and conciliating him meet him on his own ground defy him to do his worst want him, laugh at his threats sneer and scoff at his pretensions bid him do his worst better be dead than under the dominion of such a tyrant and my word for it as soon as you take that attitude he will flee from you nay he will disappear as the mists fade away in the heat of the noonday sun worry however is not only an effect, it is also a cause worry causes worry it breeds more rapidly than do flies the more one worries the more he learns to worry begin to worry over one thing and soon you are worrying about 20 and the infernal curse is not content with breeding worries of its own kind it is as if it were a parent gifted with the power of breeding a score a hundred different kinds of progeny at one birth each more hideous, repulsive and fearful than the other there is no paliation temporization or parlaying possible with such a monster death is the only way to be released from him and it is your death or his his death is a duty God requires at your hands why then waste time start now and kill the falafined as quickly as you can end of chapter 1 chapter 2 of quit your worrying by George Wharton James this LibriVox recording is in the public domain recording by Gillian Hendry ours is the age of worry how insulting what a ridiculous statement how ignorant of our achievements I can well imagine some of my readers saying see this chapter heading this an age of worry why this is the age of progress of advancement of uplift of the onward march of a great and wonderful civilization is it certainly it is see what we have done in electricity look at the telephone telegraph wireless and now the wireless telephone see our advancement in mechanics the automobile the new locomotives vessels see our conquest of the air dirigibles, airplanes hydroplanes and the like yes I see and what of it we have done our advancement our conquest and so on and so on yes I see we have not lessened our arrogance our empty-headed pride our boasting we why we what have you and I had to do with the new inventions in electricity or mechanics or the conquest of the air not one single solitary thing the progress of the world has been made through the efforts of a few solitary exceptional rare individuals not by the combined efforts of us all you and I are as common unprogressive uninventive as we the common people always were contributed one iota to all this progress and I often question whether much of it comes to us more fraught with good than evil we claim the results without engaging in the work we use the phone and worry because central doesn't get us our connections immediately when we have the faintest conception of how the connection is gained or why we are delayed we ride on the fast train we save and worry ourselves and everybody about us to a frazzle because we are stopped on a siding by a semaphore of a block station which we never have observed and would not understand if we did we reap but have not sowed gather but have not screwed and that is ever injurious and never beneficial our conceit is flattered and enlarged our importance magnified our dignity God save the mark made more impressive and as a result we are more the target for the inconsequential worries of life we worry if we are not flattered if our importance is not recognised even by strangers and our dignity not honoured in other words we worry that we are not coutowed to deferred to respectfully greeted on every hand but civilisation, progress and advancement are materially furthered and enhanced by our mere existence every individual with such an outlook on life is a prolific distributor of worry germs he, she, is a pest and a nuisance more disturbing to the real piece of the community than a victim of small pox and one who should be isolated in a pest house but unfortunately civilisation sees only the wealth the luxury the spending capacity of such an individual and that ends it we bow down and worship before the golden calf if I had the time in these pages to discuss the history of worry I am assured I could show clearly to the student of history that worry is always the product of prosperity that while a nation is hard at work at its making a citizen is engaged in arduous labour of one kind or another for the upbuilding of his own or the national power worry is scarcely known the builders of our American civilisation were too busy conquering the wilderness of New England the prairies of the middle west the savannas and lush growths of the south the arid deserts of the west to have much time for worry such men and women were gifted with energy labour of initiative and executive ability they were forceful daring, courageous and active and in their very working had neither time nor thought for worry but just as soon as a reasonable amount of success attended their efforts and they had amassed wealth their children began and continued to worry not occupied with work that demands our unceasing energy we found ourselves occupied with trifles worrying over our health our investments, our luxuries our lap dogs and our frivolous occupations imagine the old time pioneers of the forest plane, prairie and desert worrying about sitting in a draft or taking cold if they got wet or wondering whether they could eat what would be set before them at the next meal they were out in the open compelled to take whatever weather came to them rain or shine, hot or cold sleet or snow and ready when the sunset hour came to eat with relish and appetite sauce the rude and plain vitals placed upon the table compare the lives of that class of men with the later generation of capitalists I know one who used to live at Sherries in New York his apartments were as luxurious as those of a monarch he was not happy however he spent a long time from morning to night he absolutely spent an hour or more each day consulting the menu or discussing with the steward what he could have to place upon his menu and died long before his time cursed with his wealth its resultant idleness and the trifling worries that always come to such men had he been reduced to poverty compelled to go out and work on a farm eat oatmeal mush for breakfast bacon and greens for dinner and cold pork and potatoes or star for supper he would be alive and happy today take the fussy, nervous, irritable worrying men and women of life who poke their noses into other people's affairs retail all the scandal and hand on all the slander and gossip of empty and therefore evil minds they are invariably well to do and without any work or responsibilities they go gadding about restless and feverish because of the empty vacuity of their lives a prey to worry because they have nothing else to do if I were to put down and faithfully report the conversations I have with such people the full worries they are really distressed with the labour, time and energy they spend on following chimeras, willow the wisps mirages, let beckon to them and promise a little mental occupation and over which they cannot help but worry one could scarcely believe it as Dr Walton forcefully says in his admirable booklet quote the present then is the age and our contemporaries are the people that bring into prominence the little worries that cause the tempest in the teapot that bring about the worship of the intangible and the magnification of the unessential if we had lived in another epoch we might have dreamt of the eternal happiness of saving our neck but in this one we fret because our collar does not fit it and because the button that holds the collar has rolled under the bureau end quote note this quotation is from calm yourself by George Lincoln Walton MD Otten Mifflin and Coe, Boston Massachusetts end note I am not so foolish as to imagine for one moment that I can correct the worrying tendency of the age but I do want to be free from worry myself to show others that it is unnecessary and needless and also that it is possible to live a life free from its demoralizing and altogether injurious influences End of chapter 2 Chapter 3 of Quit Your Worrying by George Wharton James This LibriVox recording is in the public domain Recording by Gillian Henry Nervous Prostration and Worry Nervous Prostration is generally understood to mean weakness of the nerves it invariably comes to those who have extra strong nerves but who do not know how to use them properly as well as those whose nervous system is naturally weak and easily disorganized Nervous Prostration is a disease of overwork mainly mental overwork and in 99 cases out of 100 comes from worry Worry is the most senseless and insane form of mental work It is as if a bicycle rider were so riding against time that the moment after he got off his machine to sit down to a meal he sprang up again and while eating were to work his arms and legs as if he were riding It is the slave driver that stands over the slave and compels him to continue his work even though he is so exhausted that hands, arms and legs cease to obey and he falls asleep at his task The folly as well as the pain and distress of this cruel slave driving is that we hold the whip over ourselves have trained ourselves to do it and have done it so long that now we seem unable to stop In another chapter there is fully described in Dorothy Canfield's vivid words the squirrel cage whirly gig of modern society life Modern business life is not much better Men compel themselves to the endless task of amassing money without knowing why they amass it They make money that they may enlarge their factories to make more plows to get more money to enlarge their factories to make more plows to get more money to enlarge their factories to make more plows and so on add infinitum Where is the sense of it Such conduct has well been termed money madness It is an obsession, a disease a form of hypnotism a mental malady The tendency of the age is to drive We drive our own children to school There they are driven for hours by one study after another Even when they come home they bring lessons with them the lovers of study and over-conscientious because they want to do them and the laggards because they must if they are to keep up with their classes If the parents of such children are not careful they, the children, soon learn to worry They are behind hand with their lessons They didn't get the highest mark yesterday The class is going ahead of them and so on and so on until mental collapse comes there is a kind of mental overwork as Dr. Edward Livingston Hunt of Columbia University, New York said in a paper read by him early in 1912 before the Public Health Education Committee of the Medical Society of the County of New York quote There is a form of overwork exceedingly common and exceedingly disastrous one which equally accompanies great intellectual labours and minor tasks I allude to worry When we medical men speak of the workings of the brain we make use of a term both expressive and characteristic it is to celebrate to celebrate means to think to reason and to reach conclusions it means to concentrate and to work hard to think then is to celebrate to worry is to celebrate intensely worry is overwork of the most disastrous kind it means to drive the mental machinery at an unreasonable and dangerous rate worry gives the brain no rest but rather keeps the delicate cells in constant and continuous action work is where worry is tear overwork, mental strain and worry lead to a diminution of nerve force and to a prostration of the vital forces and causes a degeneracy of the blood vessels of the brain exhaustion, another name for fatigue may show itself either in the form of physical collapse so that the patient lacks resistance and becoming anemic and run down falls a prey to any and every little ailment or in the form of mental collapse an exhausted brain then gives way to depression to fears and to anxiety the vast majority of nervous breakdowns are avoidable they are the result of our own excesses and of the disregard we show towards the ordinary laws of health and hygiene they are the results of the tremendous demands which are made upon us by modern life they are the results of this strenuous life end quote from this analysis made by an expert it is evident that worry and nervous prostration are but two points on the same circle nervous prostration causes worry and worry causes nervous prostration those who overwork their bodies and minds who drive themselves either with the cares of business the amassing of wealth yielding to the demands of society the cravings of ambition or the pursuit of pleasure are alike certain to suffer the results of mental overwork and here let me interject what to me has become a fundamental principle upon which invariably I rely it will be recalled what I have said elsewhere of selfish and unselfish occupations it is the selfish occupations that produce nerve exhaustion those that are unselfish seldom result in the disturbance of the harmony or equilibrium of our nature whether we regard it as physical, mental or spiritual this may seem to be a transcendental statement perhaps it is but I am confidently assured of its essential truth that man or woman who is truly engaged in an unselfish work a work that is for the good of others has a right to look for to expect and to receive from the great all source of strength, power and serenity all that is needed to keep the body, mind and soul in harmony consequently in perfect health and free from worry hence the apparent paradox that if you would care for yourself you must disregard yourself and your loving care for others one great reason why worry produces nervous frustration is that it induces insomnia worry and sleeplessness are twin sisters as one has well said refreshing sleep and vexing thoughts are deadly foes health and happiness often disappear from those who fail to sleep for sleep indeed is tired nature's sweet restorer as young in his ninth thoughts turned it Shakespeare never wrote anything truer when he said end quote or where he spoke of it as sleep that sometimes shuts up sorrow's eye, steals me a while from my own company end quote even the bible makes sleep one of the special blessings of god for we are told that he giveth his beloved sleep the sacred book contains many references to sleeplessness and its causes undoubtedly most potent among these causes is worry the worrier retires to his bed at the usual hour but his brain is busy it is working overtime what is it doing over things that are to be done and planning for the future if so there is a legitimate excuse for as soon as the plan is laid rest will come and he will sleep is he thinking over the mistakes of the past and sensibly and wisely taking counsel from them if so he will speedily come to a decision and then sleep will bring grateful oblivion is he thinking joyful thoughts these will bring a natural feeling of harmony with all things and that is conducive to speedy sleep is he thinking of how he may help others that is equally soothing to nerves brain and body and brings a refreshment of forgetfulness but no the worrier has another method he thinks the same thoughts over and over again without the slightest attempt to get anywhere he has thrashed them out before so often that he can tell exactly what each thought will lead to his ideas go around in a circle like the horse tied to the wheel he is on a treadmill ever ascending, tramping up, up, up and up and still up but the wheel falls down each time as far as he steps up and after hours and hours of unceasing, racking distressful mental labour he has done absolutely nothing he has not progressed one inch is still in the clutch of the same vicious treadmill brain weary nerve weary is there any wonder that he rolls and tosses, throws over his pillow kicks off the clothes, groans almost cries aloud in his agony of longing for rest poor victim of worry and sleeplessness how I long to help you get rid of your evil habit and save others from falling into it for both worry and sleeplessness are habits easily gained and once gained very hard to get rid of yet both unnecessary needless and foolish the worry that produces sleeplessness is merciless so merciless and relentless that no fierce torture of a black hander can be described that is worse in its long continuing and evil results lives are wrecked brains shattered happiness destroyed by this monstrous evil and many a man and women fastens it upon himself herself through indulging in anxious thought or by yielding to that equal devil dragon of self pity David the Samist graphically tells of his own case I am weary with my groaning every night make eye my bed to swim I water my couch with my tears away because of grief Sam 6 verses 6 and 7 at another time he cries my God my God why has thou forsaken me why art thou so far from helping me and from the words of my groaning oh my God I cry in the daytime but thou answereth not and in the night season I am not silent Sam 22 verses 1 and 2 yet God heard him not until his groaning and self pity were cast aside until he rested in God trusted in him then came rest as he graphically expresses it I laid me down and slept I awaked for Jehovah sustaineth me Sam 3 verse 5 in peace will I both lay me down and sleep for thou Jehovah alone maketh me dwell in safety Sam 4 verse 8 I will bless Jehovah I have given me counsel yea my heart instructeth me in the night seasons Sam 16 verse 7 see the result of this confidence in God I have set Jehovah always before me because he is at my right hand I shall not be moved therefore my heart is glad and my glory rejoiceeth my flesh also shall dwell in safety Sam 16 verses 8 and 9 and where the heart is glad and one rejoiceeth in the sense of peace and safety sweet sleep lays its soothing hand upon the work-worn brain and body tired with the labours of the day and brings rest repose recuperation End of chapter 3 Chapter 4 of Quit Your Worrying by George Wharton James This LibriVox recording is in the public domain This LibriVox recording by Gillian Henry Holy writ, the sages and worry Our civilisation is called a Christian civilisation We are the Christian nations yet as I have shown in chapters 1 and 2 ours is the worrying civilisation that worry is dishonouring to our civilisation and especially to our professions as Christians is self-evident Let us then look briefly in the book St Paul our Holy Bible our guide of life our director to salvation and see what the sacred writers have to say upon this subject If they commend it we may assume that it will be safe to worry if they rebuke or reprobate it we may be equally assured that we have no right to indulge in it St Paul seemed to have a very clear idea of worry when he said be careful note full of care for nothing but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving make your requests known unto God Philippians chapter 4 verse 6 How inclusive this is full of care anxiety fretfulness worry about nothing but in everything presenting your case to God and then comes a promise and the peace of God shall keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus Philippians chapter 4 verse 7 How clear, definite, full and satisfactory what room for worry is there in a heart full of the peace of God which passeth all understanding and oh how much to be desired is such an experience Browning in his Abbed Vogler sings practically the same sweet song where he says sorrow is hard to bear and doubt is slow to clear each sufferer says he says his scheme of the wheel and woe but God has a few of us whom he whispers in the ear the rest may reason and welcome to his wee musicians no end quote if God whispers in the ear of the sufferer the doubter, the distressed, the worried the peace must come and if peace come it matters not what others reasoning may bring to them, the knowledge that God has whispered is enough it brings satisfaction content, serenity, peace the opposite of worry is rest, faith trust, peace how full the Bible is of promises of rest to those who know and love God and his ways of right doing Mendelssohn took the incitement of the psalmist, psalm 37 verse 7 rest in the Lord and made of it one of the tenderest sweetest songs of all time full of yearning over the worried the distressed the music itself seems to brood in sympathetic and soothing power as a mother croons to her fretful child why fret, why worry no, no, rest rest my little one in the love of the all father and many a weary fretful worried heart has found rest and peace while listening to this sweet and beautiful song there is still another passage in holy writ that the perpetual warrior should read and ponder it is the prophet Isaiah's assurance that God says to his children as one whom his mother comforteth so will I comfort you who has not seen a fretful sick child taken up by a loving mother yield to her soothing influence in a few minutes and drop off into restful, healthful, restoring sleep what a wonderful and forceful figure of speech illustrative of a never ceasing fact that the spirit of all good the supreme force of love and power in the universe is looking, watching without slumber or sleep untiring, unfailing ever ready to give soothing comfort as does the mother to those who fret and worry then when cause for worry seems to be ever present why not call upon this loving maternal soothing power why not rest in his arms and thus find peace, poise and serenity how much worry comes from fear as to the future men become hoarders savers, misers or work themselves beyond healthful endurance or shut out the daily joys of existence in their business absorption because they dread poverty in their old age wise provision becomes a driving monster, worrying them into a restless, fretful energy that must be accumulating all time 2000 years ago this trait of human nature was so strongly manifested that Christ felt called upon to restrain and rebuke it what a wonderful sermon he preached it is worthwhile repeating it here and wise would that man be who is worried about tomorrow where he she to read it daily I give it in the revised version quote I say unto you be not anxious for your life what ye shall eat or what ye shall drink nor yet for your body what ye shall put on is not the life more than the food and the body than the raiment behold the birds of the heaven that they saw not neither do they reap nor gather to barns and your heavenly father feedeth them are not ye of much more value than they and which of you by being anxious can add one qubit to his stature and why are ye anxious concerning raiment consider the lilies of the field how they grow they toil not neither do they spin yet I say unto you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these but if God doth so cloth the grass of the field which today is and tomorrow is cast into the oven shall he not much more clothe you oh ye of little faith be not therefore anxious saying what shall we eat or what shall we drink or wherewithal shall we be clothed for after all these things do the Gentiles seek for your heavenly father knoweth that ye have need of all these things but seek ye first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you be not therefore anxious for the morrow for the morrow will be anxious for itself sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof Matthew chapter 6 verses 25 to 34 here is the wisest philosophy anxiety is suicide peace is life where he destroys serenity up builds as you want to live to grow possess your souls in peace and serenity work I work mightily powerfully daily but work for the joy of it not because worry drives you to it work persistently consistently and worthily because no man can live or ought to live without it but do not let work be your slave driver useless master urging you on to drudgery bondage to your counter, ledger or factory until you drop exhausted and lifeless work for the real joy of it and then filled with the blessed trust in God the all father expressed as above by Christ throw your cares to the winds bid your worries depart and accept what comes with serenity peace and thankfulness many proverbs have been written about worry which it may be well to recall certainly it can do no harm to those who worry to see how their mental habit has been regarded and is still regarded by the concentrated wisdom of the ages an old proverb says it is not work but worry that kills how true this is congenial work is a health bringer a necessity for a normal life a joy it keeps the body in order, promotes digestion induces the sleep of perfect restoration and is one of man's greatest blessings but worry brings disease want of ease discomfort wretchedness promotes evil secretions which upset the normal workings of the body and is a constant banisher and disturber of sleep still another proverb says worry killed the cat many people read this and fail to see its profound significance it must be remembered that in the good old days when this proverb was most rife the superstitious held that a cat had nine lives now surely the deep meaning of the proverb is made apparent though the cat were possessed of nine lives worry would surely kill them all either one by one by its horrid and determined persistence or all at once by the concentrated virulence of its power there are many proverbs to the effect that when worry comes in wit flies out and these are all true worry unsettles the mind unbalances the judgment induces fever of the intellect which renders calm cool weighing of matters impossible no man of great achievements ever worried during his period of greatness had he done so his greatness could never have been moved imagine a general trying to solve the vexing problems of a great combat which is going against him with his mind beset by numberless worries he must concentrate all his energies upon the one thing if worry occupies his attention wit sense judgment discretion wisdom are crowded out have no place all the pictures given to us of grant show him the most imperturbable at the most times when the fortunes of war seemed most against him he was the most cheerful the least disturbed he had learned the danger of worry and compelled it to flee from him that calm judgment and clear headed decisions might be his if therefore these great ones of earth found it essential to their well-being to banish worry how much more is it necessary that we of the ordinary mass of mankind applied ourselves to the gaining of the same kind of wisdom an old country woman once said in my hearing worry and you hug a hornet's nest how suggestive both of the stinging that was sure to come and the folly the absurdity the cruelty to oneself of the act the great scotch philosopher Blair said worry or anxiety is the poison of human life quote and how true it is how biting how corroding how destructive to life some poisons are working speedily suddenly awfully others there are that have accumulative effect until life itself cannot bear the strain and it goes out recently I was at a home where a son was so worried over conditions that he felt ought not to exist between his parents that he totally collapsed mentally and for a time was in danger of losing his reason the folly of his attitude is apparent to everyone but himself though he now seeks in the absorbing occupation of teaching to free himself from the poison of worry that was speedily destroying his reason Henry LeBoucher the sage who for so many years has edited the London truth once wrote a couplet that is as true as anything he ever wrote quote invite death in a hurry end quote I want to be ready for death when it comes but as yet I am not extending an invitation to the gentleman with the scythe are you my worrying reader anxious to be mowed down before your time quit your worrying and don't urge the master reaper to harvest you in until he is sure you are ready another sage once said quote to worry about tomorrow is to be unhappy today end quote and the same thought is put into quote never howl till you are hit end quote and the popular proverb attributed erroneously to Lincoln for it was long in use before Lincoln's time quote do not cross the stream until you get to it end quote Christ put the same thought into his sermon on the mount when he said sufficient unto the day is the evil you are off how utterly foolish and wrong it is to spoil today by fretting and worrying over the possible evils of tomorrow many a man in business has ruined himself by allowing worries about tomorrow to prevent him from doing the needful work of today the rancher who sits down and worries because he fears it will not drain tomorrow or it will reign fails to do the work of today ready for whatever the morrow may bring the wise Roman Seneca expressed the same thing in other words when he wrote quote he grieves more than is necessary who grieves before it is necessary end quote and our own lowl had a similar thought in mind which he expressed as follows quote the misfortunes hardest to bear are those which never come end quote even the Chinese saw the folly of worrying over events that have not yet transpired for they have a saying quote to what purpose should a person throw himself into the water before the boat is cast away or wrecked end quote all these proverbs therefore show that the wisdom of the ages is against worrying over things that have not yet transpired let tomorrow take care of itself live today as Cardinal Newman's wonderful him expresses it quote I do not ask to see the distant scene one step enough for me end quote furthermore the evil we dread for tomorrow may never come every man's experience demonstrates this the bill for which he has not money in the bank is met by the unexpected payment of an account overdue or not yet due hence if fears come of the morrow if we are tempted to worry about a grief that seems to be approaching that has resolutely cast the temptation aside and by a full occupation of mind and body in the work of the now engage ourselves beyond the possibility of hearing the voice of the tempter when one considers the words that are regarded as synonymous with worry or that are related to it he sees what cruelties lurk in the facts behind the words to grieve fret pine mourn bleed faith yearn group sink give way to despair all belong to the category of worry phrases like to sit on thorns to be on pins and needles to drain the cup of misery to the dregs show with graphic power the folly and curse of worry why should one sit on thorns or on pins and needles if one does so accidentally he arises in a hurry yet in worrying one seems deliberately with intent to sit down upon prickles in order to compel himself to discomfort distress and pain is there any wisdom when one has the cup of misery at his lips in deliberately keeping it there and persistently drinking it to the very dregs one unconsciously feels like shouting to the drinker put it down you fool and if the harsh command be not instantly obeyed rushing up lashing it out of the drinkers hand take a few more words and look at them and see how closely they are related to worry to be displeased fretted annoyed discomposed troubled disquieted crossed teased fretted irked vexed grieved afflicted distressed plagued bothered pestered bored harassed perplexed haunted these things worry does to those who yield themselves to its noxious power worry deliberately pains wounds, hurts pinches, tweaks grates upon, galls, chafes gnaws, pricks, lancenates lacerates, pierces cuts, gravels corrodes, mortifies shocks, horrifies twinges and gripes its victims its smites, beats punishes, rings, harrows torments, tortures racks, scarifies crucifies, convulses agonises, irritates provokes, stings nettles, maltreats bites, snaps at assails, badgers, harries persecutes, those who give it shelter is it not apparent then that the only course open for a sensible manner women is to quit worrying? End of Chapter 4 Chapter 5 of Quit Your Worrying by George Wharton James This LibriVox recording is in the public domain, recording by Gillian Henry The needlessness and uselessness of worry Of all the mental occupations fallen into, invented or discovered by man, the most needless, futile and useless of all is the occupation of worry We have heard it said often when one was speaking of another's work or something he had done, he ought to be in a better business So in every case can it be said of the worrier he is in a bad business a business that ought not to exist, one without a single redeeming feature If for no other reason the fact implied by the title of this chapter ought to be sufficient to condemn it worry is needless, useless, futile of none effect why push a heavy rock up a mountainside, merely to have it roll down again Yet one might find good in the physical development that came from this needless uphill work and he might laugh and sing and be cheery while he was doing it But in the case of the worrier he not only pushes the rock up the hill, but he is upset with the dread that every moment it is going to roll back and kill him and he thinks of nothing but the fear and the strain and the distress When one calmly considers it is almost too ridiculous to write seriously about the needlessness and uselessness of worry, its futility is so self evident to an intelligent mind yet because so many otherwise intelligent and good people are perished by it, it seems necessary to show its utter uselessness These say I would stop worrying if I could but I can't help it, I worry in spite of myself Don't you believe it, you doubtless think your statement is true but it is nothing of the kind worry could find no place in your mind if it was full to overflowing with something really useful and beneficial It is a proof either that your mind is new, in other words that you cannot direct it to think upon something worthwhile that it is absolutely untrained undisciplined, uncontrolled or that it is so empty it takes to worry as a refuge against its own vacuity The fact of worry implies either that the warrior has no control over his mind or has an empty mind Now no intelligent person will for one moment confess to such weakness of mind that he has no control over it An unoccupied mind can always be occupied if one so wills No human being is so constituted that nothing appeals to him or interests him So every mind can be awakened and filled with contemplation of good things things that will help benefit and bless if he so desires In the forward I have referred to my own experience Many who knew some of the facts and saw the change that came over my life have asked me how I succeeded in eliminating worry I refused to allow my mind to dwell upon harassing topics or events in my life If I awoke during the night I turned on the light and picked up a book and forged my thought into another channel If the objectionable thoughts obtruded during the day I did one of many things For instance, turned to my work with a frenzy of absorption picked up my hat and went for a walk called upon friends went to a concert or a vaudeville show took in a lecture stood and watched the crowds visited the railway stations anything, everything but dwell upon the subjects that were tabooed Here was a simple and practical remedy and I found it worked well but I can now see that there was a much better way where good is substituted for evil one has the perfect way and the apostle Paul revealed himself a wise man of practical affairs when he urged his readers to think on the things that are lovely, pure, just and of good report In my case I merely sought to prevent mental vacuity so that the seven divils of worry could not rush into and take possession of my empty mind but I was indifferent somewhat to the kind of thought or mental occupation that was to keep out the thoughts of worry A Nick Carter detective story was as good as a browning poem and sometimes better a cheap and absurd show than an uplifting lecture or concert How much better it would have been could I have had my mind so thoroughly under control and this control can surely be gained by any and every man, woman and child that lives when worrying thoughts obtruded I could have said immediately and with authoritative power I will to think on this thing or that or the other the result would have been an immediate and perfect cessation of the worry that disturbed, frettied and destroyed for the mind would have become engaged with something that was beneficial and helpful and remember this God is good and it is his pleasure to help those who help themselves or to put it in a way that even our agnostic friends can receive nature is on the side of the man or woman who is seeking to live naturally that is rightly hence substitute good thoughts for the worrying thoughts and the latter will fade away as do the mist and fog before the morning sun here then I had clearly demonstrated for myself the needlessness to admit it if I would and my readers cannot too soon gain this positive assurance they can if they will it is simply a question of wanting to be free earnestly enough to work for freedom is freedom from worry worthwhile? is it worth struggling for? to me, it is one of the great blessings of life that worry is largely if not entirely eliminated let's go back to the old worrying days for all the wealth of Morgan, Rockefeller and Carnegie combined as for the uselessness of worry who is there that has studied the action of worry that ever found any of the problems it was concerned over improved by all the hours of worry devoted to it worry never solved a problem yet worry muddies the water still further instead of clearing it worry adds to the tangle making it worry beclouds the mind prevents sane judgement confuses the reason and leads one to decisions that never ought to be made and so to an uncertainty as vexatious and irritating as is the original problem to be solved if the worry pointed a way out of the difficulty I would extoll worry and regard it as a bitter draft of medicine to be swallowed in a hurry but producing a beneficial result but it never does anything to help it invariably hinders it sets one chasing shadows produces ignis fatui before the eyes and ultimately leads one into the bog elsewhere I have referred to the Indians attitude of mind if a matter can be changed change it if not grin and bear it without complaint here is practical wisdom but to worry over a thing that can be changed instead of changing it is the height of folly and if a matter cannot be changed why worry over it how utterly useless is the worry then too worry is the parent of nagging nagging is worry put into words the verbal expression of worry about or towards individuals the mother wishes her son would do differently can the boys actions be changed then go to work to change them not to worry over them if they cannot be changed why nag him why irritate him nagging like worry never once did one iota of good it has caused infinite harm as it sets up an irritation between those whose love might overcome the difficulty if it were let alone nagging is the constant irritation of a wound the rubbing of a sore the salting an abraded place the giving a hungry man attract religious advice or a bible when all he craves is food ah mother many a boy has run away from home because your worry led you to nag him many a girl today is on the streets because father or mother nagged her many a husband has gone on a tear because he could not face his wife's worry put into words even though no one would attempt to deny that boy girl and husband alike were wrong in every particular and the nagger in the right save in the one thing of worry and it's consequent nagging in watching the lives of men and women i have been astonished again and again that the fruitlessness of their worry did not demonstrate it's uselessness to them no good ever comes from it everybody who has any perception sees this agrees to it confesses it then why still persist in it yet they do and at the same time expect to be regarded as intelligent sane normal human beings many of whom claim as members of churches peculiar and close kinship with god forgetful of the fact that every moment spent in worry is dishonouring to god how much needless anxiety care and absolute torture some women suffer in an insane desire to keep their homes spotlessly clean the house must be without a speck of dirt anywhere the kitchen must be as spotless as the parlor the sink must be so immaculate that you could eat from it if necessary the children must always be in their best bibs and tuckers and appear as little lord fontleroise and no one at any time or any circumstance must ever appear to be dirty except the scavenger who comes to remove the accumulated debris from the kitchen and the man who occasionally assists the gardener these people forget that all dirt and dust is not of greater value than spotless cleanliness let us look calmly at the problem for a few minutes here is a housewife who cannot afford help to keep her house as spotless as her instincts and her training desire it is simply impossible for her personally to go over the house daily with rag, duster and dustpan as she tips it as she does sometimes she overworks and a breakdown is the result what then is the sensible the reasonable the only thing she should do sit down and worry over her untidy house lament that the stairs have not been swept since day before yesterday that the parlor was not dusty this morning the music room looks simply awful and cry that if mrs brown were to come in and see my wretchedly untidy house I am sure I should die of shame would this help matters would one speck of dirt be removed as the result of the worry the wailing and the tears not a speck every particle would remain just as before yet other things would not be as they were before no women could feel as I have suggested this wording creature felt without gendering, irritation in husband, children and friends is any house that was ever built worth the alienation of dear ones what is the dust dirt disorder of a really untidy house I am supposing an extraordinary case compared with the irritation caused by a worrying housewife furthermore such a women is almost sure to break down her own health and become an irritable neurasthenic or hypochondriac and thus add to the burdens of those she loves there are women who instead of following this course make themselves wretched and everyone else around them by the worry of contrasting their lot with that of someone more fortunately situated than they she has a husband who earns more money than does hers such a one has a larger allowance and can afford more help the worry however is the same little matter what form it takes is the destructive thing what then shall a woman do who has to face the fact that she cannot gratify her desire to keep her house immaculate either because she has not the strength to do it or the money to hire it done the old proverb will help her what can't be cured must be endured there is wonderful help in the calm, full direct recognition of unpleasant facts look them squarely in the face watch them, don't deny them know them, understand them then defy them to destroy your happiness if you can't dust your house daily dust it thrice a week or twice or once and determine that you will be happy in spite of the dust the real comfort of the house need not thereby be impaired as there is a vast difference between your scrupulous cleanliness and careless untidiness things may be in order even though the floor has a little extra dust on or the furniture has not been dusted for four days but you say I am far less disturbed by the overwork than I am by the discomfort that comes from the dust then all I can say is that you are wrongly balanced according to my notion of things your health should be of far more value to you than your ideas of house tidiness but you have reversed the importance of the two teach yourself the relative value of things a hundred dollar bill is of greater value than one for five dollars and the life of your baby more important than the value of the hundred dollar bill put first things first and secondly and tertiary and quaternary things in their relative positions your health and self poise should come first the comfort and happiness of husband and family next there are less spotlessness and tidiness of the house afterwards then if you cannot have your house as tidy as you wish resolutely resolve that you will not be disturbed you will control your own life and not allow a dusty room be it never so dusty to destroy your comfort and peace of mind and that of your loved ones when a woman of this worrying type has children she soon learns that she must choose being the health and happiness of her children and the gratification of her own passionate desire for spotless cleanliness this gratification if permanently indulged in soon becomes a disease for surely only a diseased mind can value the spotlessness of a house more than the health comfort and happiness of children yet many women do more the pity such poor creatures should learn that there is a dirtiness that is far worse than dirt in a house a dirtiness a muddiness of mind a cluttering of thought a making of the mind a harboring place for wrong thoughts not wrong in the sense of immoral or wicked as these words are generally used but wrong in this sense namely that reason shows the folly the inutility the impracticability of attempting to bring up sane healthy happy normal children in a household controlled by the idea that spotless cleanliness is the matter of prime importance to be observed the discomfort of children husband mother herself are nothing as compared with keeping the house in perfect order any women so obsessed should be sent for a short time to an insane asylum for she certainly has so reversed the proper order of values as to be so far insane as cluttered up her mind with a wrong idea an idea which dirties muddies soils her mind far worse than dust soils her house reader keep your mind free from such dirt for dirt is but matter in the wrong place far better have dust dirt in your house dirt on your child's hands face and clothes than on your own mind to give you worry discomfort and disease end of chapter 5 chapter 6 of quit your worrying by George Wharton James this LibriVox recording is in the public domain recording by Gillian Henry the selfishness of worry if worrying merely affected the one who worries it might be easier in many cases to view worry with equanimity and calmness but unfortunately in the disagreeable features of life far more than the agreeable the aphorism of the apostolic writer no man liveth unto himself seems to be more than ordinarily true it is one proof of the selfishness of the worrier whether consciously or unconsciously I do not say that he never keeps his worry to himself he must always out with it the nervous mother worrying about her baby shows it even to the unconscious child when the child is older she still shows it until the little one knows as well as it knows when the sun is shining that mother is worrying again the worrying wife does not keep her worry to herself she pours it out to or upon her husband the worrying husband is just the same if it is the wife that causes him to worry or to think so he pours out his worry in turbulent words thus adding few to a fire and comfort it is one of the chief characteristics of worry that it is seldom confined to the breast of its victim it loses its power too often when shut up it must find expression in looks in tone of voice in silkiness in dumps in nagging or in a voicing of its woes it is in this voicing of itself that worry demonstrates its inherent selfishness if father anybody can give help, pleasure, joy instruction, profit their voices are always heard with delight if they have reasonable cautions to give to those they love who seem to them to be thoughtless regardless of danger which they see or fear or even foolhardy let them speak out bravely courageously, lovingly and they will generally be listened to but to have them voice their fretful, painful, distressing worries no one is benefited and both speaker and the one spoken to are positively harmed for an unnecessary fear voiced is strengthened it is made more real if one did not feel it before it is now planted in his mind to his serious detriment and once there it begins to breed as disease germs are said to breed by millions and one moment of worry weds another moment and the next moment a family of worries is born that surround, hamper and bewilder is this kindly? is it helpful? is it loving? is it unselfish? the questions answer themselves the planting of worry in the mind of another is heartless, cruel unkind and selfish another question naturally arises if this course of action is selfish and the warrior really desires to be unselfish how can he control his worry at least so as not to communicate it to another the answer also is clear let him put a guard upon his lips a watch upon his actions let him say to himself though I do not, for my own sake care to control the needless worries of my life, I must not I dare not curse other lives with them hence I must at least keep them to myself I must not voice them I must not display them in face, eyes or tone then there is the mother who worries over her child's clothing she is never ceasing in her cautions it is don't, don't, don't from morning to night and whether this seems nagging to her or not there would be a unanimous vote on the subject where the child consulted as to his feelings of course the boy, the girl must be taught to take care but this is never done by nagging a far better plan would be to fit a punishment which really belongs to the evil or careless habit of the child for instance if a boy will persist in throwing his hat anywhere instead of hanging it up let the parent give him one caution not in a threatening or angry way but in just as matter of fact a fashion as if she were telling him of some news John, the next time you fail to hang your hat in its proper place you shall lock it up for three days then if John fails take the hat and lock it up and let it stay locked up though the heavens fall the same with a child's playthings tennis rackets, baseball bats and so on as a rule one application of the rule cures this is immeasurably more sensible than nagging for it produces the required result almost instantly and there is little irritation to either person concerned nagging is never effective and irritates both all the time other parents worry considerably over their children getting in the dirt in an article which recently appeared in good housekeeping Dr. Woods Hutchinson says some sensible things on children as cabbages he starts out by saying it is well to remember that not all dirt is dirty while some kinds of dirt are exceedingly dangerous others are absolutely necessary to life if your children get into the dirty and dangerous dirt spend your energies in getting them into the other kind of dirt rather than in nagging fall into the habit of doing the wise the rational the same thing because it produces results rather than the foolish irrational insane thing which never produces a result save anger irritation and often times alienation a little book written by J.J. Bell entitled Wee McGregor there is a worrying mother fortunately she is sweet spirited with it all or it would have been unbearable she and her husband John and the baby Wee Jeannie with McGregor were going out to dinner at Aunt Purdy's who was real gentile and often easy offended the anxious mother was counselling her young son regarding his behaviour at the table of that excellent lady mind McGregor you're not to be asking for jelly till you've ate two bits of bread and butter it's no manners and you're Aunt Purdy's real particular and you're not to dig your mouth where you're cuff, mind that you're to tuck your hankie and let on you're just skiing your nib a bit wipe and you're not to scale your tea nurse up the sugar if only's left in your cup when you're done drinking and if you'd wrap your piece on the floor you're not to gang after it you're just to let on you've ate it well John if I didn't tell McGregor who to behave yourself he'll affront me and so on and so on and so on who has not thus seen the anxious mother and whoever saw her worrying and anxiety do much if any good train your child by all means in your own home but let up when you're going out for your worry worries him makes himself conscious brings about the very disasters you wish to avoid and at the same time destroys his, your and everyone's else pleasure who observes feels or hears the expressions of worry End of chapter 6