 Look at that guy, that influencer, that cool girl. Does nothing affect them? How are they untouched by everything that's happened? Am I defective? We look at these people, and even if we won't admit it out loud, we want to be that tough. Wouldn't it be great if we could be like that? Just all, grrr, eat that problem. Well, have we got a secret to share with you? Don't be envious of them. Because it's all an act. What we see as tough and as mental strength is usually the exact opposite. We can shatter that illusion with these observations, so you too can see what mental strength isn't. It's just posing. Number one. Their self-worth depends purely on what others think of them. There's a window. Check hair. A side mirror. Check teeth. A large puddle. Check and recheck. Walk and posture. Yeah, that person. They're always, in any situation, pulling out a new act or routine to grab the spotlight. Perhaps you thought, this person is awfully loud and insistent about how much something doesn't bother them, that they don't need to prove anything. No one even asked them. Come on, you know you've seen it. That's not a mentally tough person. That act and that look are just as much to convince themselves as anyone else. They've made themselves completely dependent on others to set their value. The mentally strong don't need to pose and proclaim that they're strong. They just are. They're their own appraisers and don't need others to tell them what they're worth. They can fearlessly ask for help or appear different because they know that self-improvement doesn't lessen or change their value. Being able to intake knowledge from others instead of drowning it out with self-aggrandizing statements lets them learn and become even stronger. Number two, they think that they can do anything. Now, there is a difference between being confident and being arrogant. Unfortunately, the two are often mistakenly taken as one and the same. They are very different. Essentially, it's the difference between those who know they can do or at least learn to do just about anything. And then there are those who only this they know everything and believe they're experts. The posing tough actor can be recognized by the sweeping absolutes that leave no room for improvement because they are the masters. It often sounds like I can do anything. This overestimation of their talents and underestimation of effort involved to achieve their objective will often have them quitting early and blaming others for their failures. Don't fall for it. Whatever happened, it probably wasn't your fault. The mentally strong are ready to accept that there will be work and they'll have to overcome obstacles, whether that be time, prejudice, or their own learning curves. They acknowledge that they do have limits and work within them. They can be trusted to deliver what they say they can. Number three, hidden or denied insecurities. So if they're never insecure, they're like super strong, right? Wrong. Nope, never insecure about anything. Sounds more like they're hiding something. Or they're exceptionally delusional and unable to observe shortcomings, which can be harmful for themselves and others. The mentally strong are perfectly aware and accepting that they aren't infallible. People are imperfect because things are always changing and there's a need to constantly evolve, like BX men. Unlike BX men though, humans aren't born with an evolutionary jump start. So the mentally strong identify their own needs improvement areas, rolls up their sleeves, and then gets to work. The ones who refuse to bend at all, scowl, scoff, sulk, and insist on indifference, are the ones who, deep down, are terrified. They're scared that if they admit they have insecurities, it'll crush their little house of cards. Number four, their emotional expressions are usually a put on. Yay, that cheery person who is always flashing that thousand watt grin is here. Woohoo! There is always a rainbow shining and they can make that rainbow happen at any time. Are you exhausted as we are just picturing them? That constant, overly-optimistic persona is false. In fact, if seen constantly, we might be a little worried. Drugs are bad, okay? In all seriousness though, this super strong person who is grinning and ready to go even after a traumatic event is trying way too hard. They're denying themselves their humanity and shoving that shield of happy in your face. You know, and we know, that when reality comes a call in, they're going to get written hard. The always happy always confident, never-filled person leans on this fakery because they don't trust themselves to have the strength to deal with their emotions appropriately. Hey, if they pretend it's not an issue, it's not an issue. How often does that work? We have hazard to say, nearly never. The mentally strong will allow themselves to express and feel the full range of emotions, keeping that balance of positive and negative realistically. They know what they have to deal with isn't fun times, but it's got to be done, so they do it. And number five, they try to control others. It's easy to think of someone who is overbearing and demanding as strong. Even the terms used appear to indicate it, like strong arm or task master. So it stands to reason that we reflexively view bossy McBoss pants as being mentally strong. And then you would be mistaken. Relieved? Surprised? We get that. They exert control on the outside because of their insecurities on the inside. They need to visibly see a physical representation or token of strength. It's a part of getting that outside validation, fulfilling what they don't fulfill in themselves. But still doesn't make it right, and we aren't encouraging anyone to be accepting of this. We're just giving it some context. Mentally strong people understand and make the best of knowing that they can control only themselves and no one else. They are good, comfortable, and okay with that. They have their solid stability of identity and trust in themselves. They don't need or want to be responsible and in control of others. They simply say to the world, Bring it. I can roll with it. Have you recognized any of these before? Did this video give you a different perspective on anything? How? Please feel free to discuss and comment below. We can't wait to catch up with you next time.