 I think we'll start this out with an example of what the Helmholtz chain is going to have to eat. I wonder if I'm alive. Grabbed by the function. Yeah. They're already going to understand this. I have just this day. I'm going to have to f***ing drink today. Why not? I'm just going to drink right now. Doesn't matter. I guess it doesn't matter at all. I got what I wanted. Unbelievable. What a damn day. Let me give you the rundown of what the hell's going on today because it's been a day. I've been working for Steven's self-storage stuff. I mean, these guys are a piece of work. So we've got this new gig. They hired me to do some OBM type stuff with them. We'll get there, all right? But let me just tell you what the day is like. All right. So they hired me to do this curriculum. This Carl's Corporation Correction Curriculum thing. So, Carl's Corporate Correction. What the hell ever? It doesn't even matter what the name of it is. My big point is that I haven't even seen it. I don't know anything about it. They wanted to deliver the thing. So, and Steven came to me and said, hey, can you pull this off? I'm like, of course I could pull it off. What the hell are you thinking? I know exactly everything. So I went online and I checked out this intervention, this Carl's Corporation Correction Curriculum, or whatever you want to call it. So I checked out this curriculum. I didn't find anything. I mean, they've got a website and they sell it, but no research, no nothing. It's all a bunch of hooey as far as I can tell. No one has put it to an empirical test. Nobody has done squat from Shinola to evaluate this thing. It's absolutely unbelievable. So, but you know what? I need to make money. I don't give a hoot. Who cares? We're going to implement this thing. And I've been doing this stuff for a while, so I think I can absolutely pull it off. And in fact, on the first day on the job, it was crazy. I bill out $500 a day. So I'm sitting here at lunch. I've worked like a total of two hours and I'm billing out $500. This is classic. I love it. I didn't even look at the curriculum. I just kind of pulled it out of my bum and I was like, I know what I could pull up. I know I can do this. We can just do the baseline assessment from here on out. So that's all I got to do is do that initial assessment and then guess what? I could get paid $500 a day. Isn't that crazy? I suppose I should tell you a little bit more about this story. My brother actually is Stephen and he's the one that owns the place that I'm working for. He gave me a hell of a time as a kid. The b****** used to grab my ears. He beat the crap out of me. He did all sorts of stuff that I was... Did I call him a b******? I guess that implies something else about myself. Anyway, so Stephen was... He was over the top. He was completely had enough of me. But you know what? Now he needs my help. So guess what that means? That means I get to have a little bit of fun. And not only that, not only do I get to have a little bit of fun with his money. Like I told you earlier, I don't know any of this curriculum he's asking me to teach. I just don't care. One more fun little thing about Stephen. I teach a class at the local university, right? So I am teaching about business management. I'm teaching about how to handle these sorts of scenarios with admin issues and with personnel issues and all those sorts of things. And who's in my class? His wife! My sister-in-law is in his class. Well, that's all right. I mean, I kind of had the hots for her for a while. But ultimately speaking, I think we're okay right now. I think we're doing pretty good. I don't think it's going to be a problem that I work for Stephen's company. Like I'm telling him what to do and I'm supervising his wife. All I know is that she keeps asking me what she can do to make sure that she gets a good grade in her class. Hell if I know, so I just know it's time to drink. All right. Anyway, enough about my brother's wife. I mean, she's hot. Sorry, I need more alcohol. All right. Anyway, I think we got this one. I think we can milk these buggers for more cash. They don't really know what this intervention is like, right? I barely know what this intervention is like. So, functionally speaking, this is supposedly a 10-week program, which I read about this morning. I told my brother, Stephen, that this thing's going to be like, I don't know, 20 sessions, 20 weeks worth of programming. So I'm going to train all his managers. I'm going to train all his middle managers. And I'm going to end up training all his staff. I got a BCBA working with me. They don't even know what the hell's going on. They're just waiting for me to tell them. I need to get to the end of the year, right? And I don't have any other contracts lined up. So this is kind of like the only thing that I got going. We often talk about teaching people to fish. Well, you know what? Screw that. I'm just going to teach them to go out and eat. I don't need them to go fish right now. I need them to put fish in my pocket. I need to be able to feed my family. So I am absolutely going to focus on milking this for as long as I can. I don't, you know, they've, ethically speaking, they've hired like 30 people anyway. So none of what I'm doing is going to have any bit of effect at all because they've already hired tons of people. So if they want to measure effectiveness, hooey, it's not even going to happen. I don't even care anymore. I'm just about collecting the paycheck, baby. That's all I am after tonight. And you know what? At $500 a day, that's a hell of a paycheck. All right. So we've literally started taking data from you. I'm good. I'm taking data, man. I'm telling you, I've been working on this stuff all week long. So you should take a look at the data. Come here for a second. Look at that. Can you imagine? Look at that graph. There's data there. We've got all sorts of data that we're looking at. That's a good one right there. Unbelievable. What the heck? What are you doing with my data? Unbelievable. Data is wonderful. Fortunately, it's time for the door. I can't think it's any stupid data. It's not time for the door yet. I can't leave yet. I've still got more drinking to do. I've got to talk more about data. So anyway, I chatted with these ideas about all sorts of people. I have lots of ideas. I have lots of data. Your data is really strong by that drink. You might be slightly right. I've got to finish talking about what I'm talking about. Because I've got this business over here. What the hell am I going to do? I have no idea. Fortunately, that is right. Oh, I've got to keep it. I've only had one. I know it's only like 3 o'clock to 2 o'clock. It's only like 3 o'clock to 2 o'clock. 3 o'clock to 3 o'clock. Yeah, we're getting in there. I'm not going to admit anything. Hold on, hold on. Before you go any further, can I get you to interpret? I mean, I'm going to share with you my notes about this company. Sure. I mean, look at these ****. They are making a complete **** of themselves. So you hate him, you hate employees, and you also hate the computer, right? Well, he's my brother. I don't hate him. I just want to knock him out. I mean, **** is hard. Because when I was a kid, he just gave it to me. He had enough. So finally, I get to suck it back up to him. I used to kind of summarize it. I'm working with this company. I'm doing ABA, but I am not going to tell these **** about anything. If I tell them about ABA, they'll figure out what's going on. I'm going to keep my ABA in the dark. I want everybody to be mushrooms because the moment that these people figure out that I'm milking them, I'm out. I'm done. Oh, one more thing that's really important. I never signed an agreement about how we're going to terminate the contract. We're nothing. As far as Stephen knows, he's going all out for months. That bugger is going to get soaked. And I know he's made millions with all of his people. I don't care too ****. I've had enough of it. I'm getting my own. You're fucking red shoes. That's what I like. I got to tell you about this recent plan. In fact, I'm not even going to really tell you about the plan because I haven't even told Stephen the owner about this darn plan. We're going to use this thing called Mega Managers. Basically, they just need to go around telling people when people are half and up, when they're doing wrong. In fact, when they even think about doing wrong, I want the managers to get completely up their ****. Why? Because that'll just teach everybody. That'll teach them to deal with all the **** that they have to deal with every day. They won't learn what the hell to do, but we don't care. Who needs reinforcement anyway? Reinforcement? There's enough reinforcement. The only thing that we got to worry about for reinforcement is you getting your darn paycheck. You don't want your job? Fine. Somebody else will take it from you. That's all I have to say about that particular issue. So, F off, Stephen. I'm not going to tell you what I'm doing. You'll see. Oh, hell no. You probably wonder what the hell I'm doing at the bar one afternoon because I got all these buggers. I got all these buggers working on my schedule. I don't even care about that. I just told them that this is the time that I'm available and they're going to deal with it. And you know what? I like to stay up late at night. I like to drink all afternoon and evening. So, here we go. A little more crown for the night. These buggers can just basically F off. I don't really care. It's all about me. It's all about my time. I don't care what they do. I don't care how they do it. I don't give two shits at all about what's going on around me at the moment. I just want to make sure that I get my paycheck and that's all I have to worry about at the end of the day. So, I think that now is probably the time that I should start feeling like I should exit. The bar! No! No! No! No! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on!