 Hello and welcome. Thank you for coming to tonight's program poem jam curated by poem by poet Kim Shuck While we're waiting for a few more people to join us I want to take a moment now to acknowledge our community and to tell you about a couple of programs On behalf of the San Francisco public library We'd like to welcome you to the unceded ancestral homelands of the Romantic people Who are the original inhabitants of the San Francisco peninsula as the indigenous stewards and in accordance with their traditions The Romatush have never ceded lost nor forgotten their responsibilities as caretakers of this place as guests we who reside in their traditional territory Recognize that we benefit from living and working on their traditional homeland We wish to pay our respects by acknowledging the ancestors elders and relatives of the Romatush and by affirming their sovereign rights as first peoples as you probably know last month was National Poetry Month and We had a full month of programs. The first one was something called echoes poets in Memoriam and Related to that we have a book display a small exhibit on the third floor At the General Collections in Humanities Center reference desk It'll be up through the end of the month if you wish to see it that display honors Poets who have died in the last three years about 70 of them and you're free to check out any of the poetry books you see there Tonight's program is part of a continuing series poem jam Which happens the second Thursday of each month and is curated by Kim shock Next month's program will feature writers associated with Oakland's Beast Crawl literary festival If you're interested in these programs or other library programs You can check out the flyers on the table over there or the library's newsletter there's also coffee and cookies and limited editions of the poem jam pin for 2023 Or you can also consult the events calendar on our website as fpl.org So that ends my announcements. I'm now going to turn the microphone over to Kim shock who will be introducing tonight's Presenters, please give a warm welcome to Kim shock thought about what I was going to say just now a lot over the last month and Not to put to find a point on it. I feel like right now in our current political climate people who are very out and trans are heroic and That is how that's going to go down in history Um, so I'm I'm odd to be in the company. I'm in tonight and I really thank you all for being here It's it's really important work and I've been saying quite a lot this Last probably six months maybe a little more that it's my current goal to have my work banned in Florida In solidarity But I'm just going to get into the show with just one more thing which is that Sinister wisdom was sort of on my My list for a long time. I grew up in a San Francisco where there was a old wives tales bookstore Where a lot of the people who have become the canon of lesbian literature are now, you know We're wandering up and down Valencia Street getting getting herbal tea and petting cats and And I'm really pleased at this issue I it could have been so different and it was it's I'm really pleased with it So I'm just delighted that this is this show is happening and I'm going to get out of its way and let it happen Christy Lynn Baluni. Can you come up? and Please welcome My name is Christy. I Had nothing to do with this issue of sinister wisdom I am a guest editor though of an upcoming An upcoming issue in the fall issue number 130 which will be called we teach sex in parentheses to everyone and It's going to be a lot of fun and I hope to see you all at the readings for that later but tonight I'm here to just Read Julie Enzer's introduction and also a short introduction from the editors of This issue of which there were several are any of the editors here? No, I think that's why I'm meant to read that and then if you'll indulge me There's also a longer essay from Julie that I think gives does the best job of giving some context for The reason that this is as as Kim put it such an important issue of sinister wisdom So I'd like to read just the first paragraph of that Longer essay and invite you to spend some time with it when you have a chance It is as you said an amazing issue of sinister wisdom I'm super proud to be a part of it and to get to meet the authors from it and to congratulate the authors for their work So this first part is from Julie Notes for a magazine I have written before about one project when I became editor and publisher of sinister wisdom Determining how to get all the back issues out into the community into the hands of lesbians who would need them read them and use them to Dream and imagine new communal possibilities for us all It was not an easy task in part because many people Suggested that there were limited uses for the ideas and writings of lesbians from the 1980s I knew these people were wrong Time is proving that I was correct a young political science scholar Elena Gambino has written a fascinating article analyzing sinister wisdom from the 1980s and tracing the influence of lesbian feminism today Gambino argues that commonplace Antagonism between second wave lesbian feminism and third wave queer theory and politics is both Historically and politically reductive Through her reading of sinister wisdom and other sources She identifies ways that lesbian feminism invested in a reparative politics that offers Important resources for feminists and queers dealing with issues of intra group marginalization It's a wonderful essay that will make available on the sinister wisdom website Gambino's work is part of a new vibrant node of thinking writing talking and engaging with the histories and Legacies of lesbian feminism and putting them in dialogue with contemporary thinking movements and political in Intellectual and embodied investments the issue this issue of sinister wisdom sinister wisdom 128 trans Feminisms emanates from these conversations in the pages of sinister wisdom 128 trans feminism You will find vital thinking about ideas and writings of lesbians from the 1980s particularly lesbians of color and relationship to contemporary thinking about trans feminisms a Wonderful team of editors has worked to assemble and curate this material And I'm thrilled with what they bring to sinister wisdom exploring the intersections of feminism's Lesbianisms and trans the multiplicity of thought the capacious Engagements and the excitement of different ways of thinking about bodies Lesbianism and feminism are palpable in each page of the issue My expectation is that this issue will deliver many thoughtful responses from sinister wisdom readers and I look forward to them I'm grateful to everyone in the sinister wisdom community for the many ways you help us to thrive We had a very successful end-of-year camp fundraising campaign the response to the sapphic classic of Joan Nessel a sturdy Yes, of a people has been extraordinary if you haven't picked that up. It's so amazing I have an incredible year of publishing plan with more sapphic classics and a wonderful fall issue Exploring how lesbians teach sex and sexuality to ourselves and others That's us and thank you to everyone who shows up for sinister wisdom and continues to believe in the power of Vibrancy and diversity of lesbian literature arts and culture And this is from the editors as a group sinister wisdoms trans feminism's features Writing and artwork by folks across the gender spectrum including trans non-binary gender queer gender fluid to spirit Gender non-conforming and intersex. We celebrate writers and artists who trouble gender What perspectives do trans lives bring to the field of feminist thought and practice? What does it mean to hold a conversation about being trans? What does it mean to be a part of that conversation? How do the crossroads of difference affect the conversation? Trans feminism is dedicated to exploring and celebrating transness We include work that appeals to and from transness in a range of mediums Interdisciplinary genre bending poetry fiction transcribed interviews manifestos essays Historical and theoretical deep dives comic strips visual art photography oral histories speeches intergenerational conversations and collaborations in the spirit of continuing collaboration and Conversation we each have offered our perspectives on why this issue is important and highlighted specific texts that spoke to each of us below Though we're overjoyed to share them all in this issue We hope you enjoy trans feminism's and all it brings to expanding the already notable lesbian queer and feminist legacy of Sinister wisdom especially under Julie Ensar's impressive editorial leadership And now one more short paragraph from Julie and then I'll get out of your way This is from the opening essay which I think Is meant also as an introduction After sharing with potential contributors the statement on what sinister wisdom publishes I often joke I do not have time to sleep with all the contributors to the journal So we rely on women to determine if they see themselves in the pages of sinister wisdom This sly statement about my time harkens back to an imagined past when editors of lesbian feminist journals Slept with many if not all the contributors to the journals that they published Honestly, I do not think that there is any historical accuracy in this invention But for me the fantasy is fulfilling This statement also gently asserts my desired refusal to participate in Real or imagined policing of lesbian identities lesbian bodies and lesbians I recognize that my intended refusal is only partial I participate in the communal defining and forcing and inscribing of identities Not only through editing and publishing sinister wisdom, but as a part of my daily life These actions of defining lesbian are part of our lives. We cannot opt out completely communal identity inscriptions Both bring us as lesbians into existence a wondrous miracle and cause for celebration and They also limit what is lesbian and what we can imagine for our lives and our worlds in My refusals. I want to resist limits of lesbian and I want others to resist them, too Honestly, I I'm prone to mischief and so I'm very tempted to say something about sleeping with everybody you publish Okay, here's what I'm going to say about that in the 80s That would have seemed a lot more plausible if if you've been part of the mama bear's Old wives tales scene somebody else is nodding. I'm not out on a limb here and the experience of having like Upset a girlfriend at some point and then coming home to an intervention there the community was tight Let's just say the community was Community was very tight. I also just had a flashback because I remembered a thing That's true of me, which is that my first feminine literature that I bought was in it Was in an occult bookstore And now you all know which the book that was right It's a book about tarot and feminism and I'm thinking about what it means to have this particular issue out there in the world and and young young trans women finding it You know and and finding it in places that aren't Aren't in a cult bookstore. Anyway, I cannot wait to hear from this writer Kovar Hi, come on out. Please welcome Kovar to the microphone. Hi everyone. I'm Kovar. I use they them pronouns And before I start I wanted to give a quick shout out slash dedication of this reading So today is my mom's birthday And She has been my most ardent supporter in literally everything that I do She also ardently refuses categorization in any label sort of whatsoever But I wanted to make that space for her vibe her spirit Her smile everything. She's all the way back in Connecticut. I grew up on the East Coast and and Yeah, it's it's really special to get to share my writing with everyone here And also know that back home. She's cheering me on so Beth and paid if you're listening. Hi Okay So I'm going to read my piece from this issue And it's titled how to know if you are trans enough a ten-step plan for trans realization And to contextualize this I'm going to start with my note if you're following along at home with on page 29 of the magazine and that note Just describes a little bit what I mean by trans real so the note reads my use of trans real is indebted to artists and scholar Misha Codinas who in the book the trans real political aesthetics of crossing realities Uses the term to her words propose aesthetics of crossing the boundaries of realities Her term might help us think about the multiple fragmented contradictory and still simultaneous realities Rather than an imagined real that rejects trans contradiction In becoming trans real trans bodies make our own worlds our own times our own sentences Rewrite rewriting the possible we become poems ourselves All right, so I'm gonna start the piece now How to know if you are trans enough a ten-step plan for trans realization one Realized sis is an idea an ideal. No one is born sis. No one is sis enough Dick pills are for guys who are not sis enough boob jobs are for girls who are not sis enough Sis is everybody's advertisement one a You can either be not sis enough or you can stop trying to Realize that no matter if you are trans enough or not. We are all allowed to play Give yourself permission to play to a Permit yourself a useless weird unproductive period of gender exploration It doesn't matter if you end up back where you started. It's the crossing that counts Three realize you have the right to a house that is not a cage 3a Realize that until all have secured this right your own freedom is worthless 3b return to 2a You may be a useless and weird and unproductive in this house 4 realized you cannot understand trans gender possibilities through a cisgender lens 4a understand that no one is fated to be trans or fated to be sis 4b Understand that no one is destined to be female or male or woman or man Sex gender is a hostile architecture Built to remove us Displace us place us over here far from ourselves 5 Realize that those who believe you need permission to be trans are those who view transness as a disease 5a reframe yourself pollen not contagion Take pleasure in the ensuing sneeze 6 Practice trans ideology Mockery is another form of fear 7 know that nothing will protect you from the violence of sex gender Sex gender is one word violent and together The ultrasound sells mom pink or blue why? 7a you are already trans enough to kill 7b so you are trans enough to live 7c so you are trans because you live to tell it 8 leave space for the unspeakable Delete this make more spaces 9 stop at nine ways to leave us hanging or nine a ways 10 or take the text from the page and make a self from it 10 a in other words make a language Transition real to unreal Today to utopia dream to light to live pejorative to power 10 be in other words rewrite rewrite your sentence. Thank you Because I'm a poet that was one of the pieces that really jumped out at me in the issue It really is I encourage everybody to go look at that piece because the way it's on the way it exists on the page is really particular our next reader is Maggie who is a New person to me, but totally delightful is all I was gonna say What's up homies? I'm Maggie. I use any old pronouns I always thought poetry readings. I was one of like a walkout song Like a born-to-be-wild like some joy division shit or something. I don't know but in my head. I'm doing that Okay, so I wanted to read someone else's poem into my poem because I just felt like a big kinship with Neve Timmons poem and like Neve's first name is my middle name. So I was like For life right there, you know, this is called as a new Timon's poem called Camp trans press release August 21st 2006 Michigan against trans women after 15 years of controversy supporters welcome trans women to the land the Michigan women's music festival began openly trans women last week bringing success to a long-standing struggle by trans activists both and the festival Seeing trans women the festival. It's restored my faith in women Who have already committed The first time next year camp trans The annual protest across the road from the festival say that every year at least one trans women at camp trans walks to the festival gate with a group of Explains that She is trans and In past years the festival has produced a copy of the policy and This time The response was cash or they said the festival has no policy any woman the woman her ticket on Wednesday and supporters the festival On Friday to facilitate a schedule workshop discussion recently retired policy This discussion has happened before But for the first time in years trans women were of the conversation inclusion of Trans women means for the festival and now we can move forward We didn't expect to change anyone's minds the workshop, but in the end we didn't need to the We found was overwhelming trans women they say We're moved and by how friendly and supportive other festival attendees were Inside the festival talking with other women about how Michigan has grown to embrace the diversity of women's experience With their original mission accomplished organizers say camp trans will continue to be a place for trans people and allies to build community share ideas and develop strategies for change and They will keep working together with the festival workers and attendees to make sure trans women who the Fest next year have and or resources Camp trans will partner with a group of inside the Fest next year To establish an anti transphobia area within the festival From camp trans and to educate people on trans issues and provide To trans and differently gendered women festival attendees have worn pro-trans inclusion solidarity both camp trans and At the Fest say they are excited to be working together to welcome trans women and a trans-inclusive women only space Communities whole again the policy divided against each other who could be fighting on the same side We want to be of the healing The festivals policy Trans women was first enforced in 1991 when festival security From the grounds of the festival That was the first piece Thank you. Yeah, totally and I picked that one obviously for you know sister ever kinship, but like The poem I'm about to read is a lot of found text and that was a found text I get again cool on the page get to check out, but this is my poem. It's to the tune of That's really temple tong song animal crackers in my soup, but this is a alphabet crackers in my soup Okay Developed female characters developed female bodies developed spells eloped with no V developed enveloped pussies The devil is in the details Developed female characters develop tight breasts develop a strategy to get yourself home Develop female currencies develop female bodies developing children into the currency of images develop normalcy developed nations and Developing ones develop female intimacy developer salary 2021 developer jobs Seattle develop web design develop pearl thighs developed human settlements developed female characters Early childhood development early childhood Characters early childhood bodies early and relay use the same letters early signs of pregnancy Early beaches with full bellied elephant seals Earl gray made bergamot famous Early movies with Shirley temple early curly Shirley temple hair the early bird gets the hairless girl Early looks at filming early on set images early on set neurodegenerative disorder early childhood early access early childhood access Hollywood Early childhood development early voting absentee ballots early elections early Erections because caucus results are coming in early caucus word origin caucus Washington state Coming before the erection cock-and-ball torture Cognitive behavioral therapy because cause and effect ended yesterday Because early warning systems have failed because stars are just tips of falling rockets because their fission makes no sound Because caucus results are coming in early because cock makes me less of a woman because the president-elect Coerced developed female bodies coerced early childhood bodies because Shirley temples first two Movies where were bait were war babies and baby burlesque and that girl played babies until she was 30 and I have never passed the Bechdel test Because words are just men's meaning coming out of my mouth and I'm telling you the words women and children Use these same letters All right. Thank you have a Maggie so many conversations to be had AJ This is this person who I've just met was actually trying to come to solutions with me for how I read things and stuff Which is so cool and very supportive, and I really appreciate it. I absolutely love doing these readings, and I've Been delighted to meet all of you AJ. Please welcome AJ to the I'm AJ What I'm gonna be reading is a few different statements from a project. I've been working on since 2019 it's Started as how I came out to my family as non-binary. Oh my pronouns are they them by the way Yeah, I started as how I came out to my family as Non-binary and kind of has continued into this project to kind of help the non-binary community feel understood Validated and just want everyone to feel like a family so I have portraits of each person and I have them write a statement on why they identify the way they do So the first person I'm gonna be reading the statement of is Jim Williams Jim said Non-binary one of my favorite words it speaks to me my whole life I've never been able to fit into any boxes being mixed-race gay and uncomfortable and Unconforming made sure of that Come across the word non-binary felt like half like coming home Being neither this or that is a familiar feeling Breaking apart social conventions is my life goal and here's another tool. I can use to do it Non-binary isn't just about not being entirely a girl or a boy It's about fighting against a society that wants to stop me out Non-binary means fighting against white supremacy the evil that enforced our society's ideas of gender in order to erase other cultures it means fighting against heteropatriarchy the system that controls how we relate to others and ourselves Forcing us to build barriers around others and ourselves It's about fighting capitalism the system that diminishes our worth non-binary is love and acceptance warmth To heal us from a cold society non-binary means I get to be unapologetically me The next statement I'll be reading is by my friend Finn Grace Lee Being non-binary for me personally means being exactly as I am Honoring all parts of myself even the confusing and painful parts while also the joyful parts The next statement will be for by my friend another friend all of them are friends and family um This next person is Alex Rodriguez What does it mean to be non-binary For me it means being on a spectrum It means allowing myself to think about my personality and expression in a bigger sense and masculine and feminine The possibilities for how I feel about myself feel endless when I don't associate my gender identity to a binary label Until people stop assuming what a man or a woman looks like or should act like there is always Expectations projected on the binary. I feel like I can't fit into that space So identifying being non-binary helps me remind myself that all I need to think worry about is myself and love for myself This next statement is another friend slash family is Roy Cedric Raguda To me non-binary can be as simple as deciding to live one's life as free and true one's self as possible I am me gender. I am simply myself Despite any parts. I may have been born with Who are who we are is often affected by how society views us But how we identify ourselves is entirely about how we view ourselves We exist outside the strict definitions and that is powerful and also Vulnerable which is why I admire non-binary individuals because they are able to live their lives honestly and Living openly as non-binary is a statement made to society that says we can be more than what we were told to be And When I came out I included myself in the series just so I didn't have to talk to my parents about this So I made them read it So what is non-binary What does the word mean to you? Why do I identify this way? These are questions. I've been asking everyone I've met with I've been thinking about what that means to me Why do I identify this way? What is non-binary? I grew up questioning everything including my girls could only do some things boys others I never felt like I fell into either category of girl or boy male or female man or woman But I didn't want to have to change in order to fit into these categories I felt insecure as a female, but I didn't slash don't want to be male I never felt girly enough to be female, but also never a tomboy. I Was introduced to the word non-binary as a freshman in college. I won't lie I was one of the people who thought it was weird But after a while I realized that these people didn't have to worry about fitting into these categories Yes, this is way more than fitting into categories, but it's a push against social standards That says you cannot tell me who to be It took me a year of thinking to fully realize I wanted that mental freedom I don't want to fit into these categories. I want to be me since identifying this way and Changing my name using they them pronouns and allowing myself to do things I wouldn't when identifying as a female such as buying male clothing. I've felt more free I've been happier. So what is non-binary non-binary is happiness non-binary is freedom And yeah Thank you so much our next reader is Natasha denerstein who Has been a friend of mine for a number of years now and I'm gonna share something that I shared with her a little earlier Which is that at one point I was interviewed and and somebody asked me if there was any poet that I That I thought maybe I I booked too often. I was like no, but I feel like I could book Natasha every month And be completely content to hear her read once a month Please welcome to my microphone Natasha denerstein Blackberry Blackberry is a fierce resilient plant and can survive harsh weather conditions If you ever try to rip it out you can't eradication a hopeless mission The blackberry is like my Favorite sister she is tough with a delicate flower and her sweet sweet skin is fine Yes, mister her fragrant hair a cascade of power Her arms are strong her legs are long and lean and rumbers through all sorts of trouble The female she is and the male she's been only served to protect her the double She strides in her heels all over this town and like the blackberry she cannot be burned down That's for my trans girls of which I am one Here's a new pump It's called 13 ways of looking at a homeless woman one a pile of rags Then suddenly the pile of rags moves the moving pile of rags is a person you to In your pockets are rotting fish heads and carcasses a rotting smell is the surest way to avoid rape The scraps are discarded in a skip in back of the fish mongers a stinking woman wants to be left alone three Underneath the freeway the car noise is regular and rhythmical and provides a soundtrack that is curiously comforting kathunk kathunk kathunk Like a metronome at practice at the bar for the salvation army give out sandwiches sometimes it's baloney and cheese and Sometimes it's turkey Christianity with its sleeves rolled up Five many years of intense ballet training Equipped you to physically deal with the sequelae of sleeping on concrete Six Adderall trademark for focus and weight loss Roxy codon trademark for injuries soft tissue and bone When the ballet training stopped the pills didn't Seven those apartments on Valencia Street were great for 25 years Until you couldn't get up the three flights of stairs no elevator Eight when all your belongings fit into a shopping cart you have to be selective about what you keep and what you discard Nine Shame and embarrassment are a luxury for those that can afford to have them ten There is a musicality to everything even traffic Everything ebbs and flows in movements with repetitive themes 11 in the dawn hour Birds are active in the city So are rats 12 in the city people are discarded if they don't contribute economically It's called capitalism 13 The urge to survive is remarkable. It's one of the fundamental laws of nature Hmm Here's a poem from this book This is about Eileen Mornos. It's called broken a life of Eileen Mornos in 33 poems Came out during the pandemic Stick up Edgewater, Florida Drunk as a skunk when I entered the store don't even know why I did it $35 from the mini mart and two packs of Newport's allegedly They carted me off and stuck me in jail with a rough little group of ladies Years on the streets had taught me the skills to survive and I kept to myself allegedly Otara We met at a gay bar in Daytona Beach I liked it there you can drink and dance without the guys hitting on you You stared at me from the bar and I saw you Recognize another sad little girl with no friends just like me There was something broken in you Tyra Just like there's something that was broken in me We hooked up and holed out in a motel room Luxuriating for days in our shared loneliness now halved I Had found my kindred spirit my trouble and strife You are my ride or die Tyra my ride or die for life couple more Florida love song That it also comes from this book Florida love song Oh Florida how I fell in love with you bitch from the minute I entered through your Alabama border on the bench seat of a skylock with the radio on How I thought I'd arrived in heaven with your tropical flamingo sunsets and your key lime pies How I explored you from up in Jacksonville all the way down to coral gables your Cuban cigars your Biker bars how I could wear Daisy Dukes and a tank top all day every day Florida from your Barmy mornings to your sultry nights in your motels mansions and trailer parks from Tallahassee to Miami Beach and your Florida reef bitch Oh Your orange blossoms your alligators your easygoing ways your pawn shops and liquor stores from Tampa Bay to the Everglades. I fucking loved you and vowed I would never ever leave you till my dying day Last one is called passing I Want I'm Australian. I want to say passing but I say passing because I think people was I think of pardon People don't understand me, but I'll say it like naturally was a passing passing Not passing Pretend the American I'm a faux American. I'm transitioning into being American I Passing us human Passing this way passing real. I'm passing as a woman. I'm passing us white passing as a person I Don't really know what I am But I go through the motions of what I think I'm supposed to do to not get asked to leave If everybody feels they don't belong doesn't that mean that everyone belongs? Thank you Thank you so much for being here tonight. I really appreciate it I think that was an amazing reading and what I do know is that these get watched a lot after The event itself. I think a lot of folks are still anxious about being out Big events and so I encourage you to share with your friends when the link comes out I'll send it to the people who read Give yourselves a hand the readers the audience our Cameraman, thank you so much John Smalley who is my cohort in this endeavor every month And what I want to say is if you're comfortable with it people who read Doug takes a photo every Doug put your hand up Doug takes a photo for every one of these events and it's okay If you don't want to participate, but we'd love to have a record of just the incredible beautiful diversity that That we've had so we've have pictures from almost all of these events across the I guess it's been What a hell of now I'm tired Anyway, thank you all and readers if you're up for it, please assemble by the mural. Thank you