 Before we begin this video, we just want to thank you for all the support. You've helped make our content possible by sharing what we do with friends and family, and for that we're so grateful. Now, onto the topic of letting go of painful memories, requested by a viewer. Have you ever done something that made you regret it, or heard hurtful words directed to you that slipped from a loved one's mouth? Some actions affect us more than others, depending on what we take more personally. As a result, the past often becomes full of heavy emotional baggage we bring with us wherever we go. So, how do we move forward and leave it for good? Here are 8 ways to let go of painful memories. 1. Identify what triggers you. This can be closely linked to your childhood. Think about what upsets you. Is it someone raising their voice at you? Perhaps it's when you're pressured into doing something uncomfortable. If that individual is only kidding around, depending on the context of the trigger, your brain might not readily identify that it's not a real threat. Grow aware of the circumstances you are sensitive to. Train yourself to practice calming techniques when you encounter them. 2. Allow room for mistakes. Do you consider yourself a perfectionist, or often desire quick, fast results? Unfortunately, healing is not a linear path, nor is it a swift process. The truth is, you're going to make a lot of mistakes along the way. Don't beat yourself up if you still give into your negative thoughts or are failed to live in the present. It takes time to get used to new, healthy changes. Recognize when you've slipped back into your old, toxic ways and ask yourself what you can do next time to avoid repeating the same pattern. 3. Put yourself in the offender's shoes. Painful memories continue to haunt us when we hold grudges against those who have wronged us. And yes, while you may have every right to be angry at them for abusing, betraying, lying, or cheating on you, holding on to anger in the long run will damage you more than the person who hurt you. Putting yourself in the offender's shoes doesn't mean you make up excuses for their poor behavior, but it can shift your perspective, which may encourage you to forgive them and let go. 4. Accept what you cannot change. It's easy to play the victim, but when you focus too much on what the other person did that upset you, it means you also give them all the power to control how you feel. Rather than feeling powerless, shift your focus onto what you can change and go from there. Remember, you may not be responsible for what happened to you, but you have the responsibility over what affects you from now on. 5. Cry it out. Crying often gets a bad rep for being associated with weakness, but this is far from the truth. In fact, researchers continuously support that crying away your negative emotions releases the harmful chemicals that build up in your body over time when you bottle them up. Never feel like you have to man up or stay strong or internalize your pain. This can do more harm than healing in the long run. 6. Embrace rationality. Emotions exist to tell us what's working for us and what isn't, but solely relying on them can cloud our judgment and we may grow too comfortable with negative emotions over time that we drown instead of learning to swim. When we ruminate over past memories, we neglect to use our logic. Although it's impossible to stay 100% detached, we can take a more rational approach to understand our trauma through a different perspective. 7. Recondition your negative thoughts. One technique you can use is wearing a rubber band on one of your wrists. Every time you catch yourself thinking bad thoughts, gently flick the band on your wrist. The uncomfortable feeling you get while doing this will train your mind to associate it with your negative obsessions. Ruminating might not stop altogether, but it can be modified under your supervision. 8. Don't take yourself too seriously. It would be sad if life only consisted of paying bills, healing from broken hearts, and working, but it's not. It can be so much more if we open ourselves to good company and new places. Amplifying your ego is great if you want to build confidence, but taking yourself too seriously within the process is actually a waste of time when you could be laughing and having the time of your life. Want more self-help content? Check out and subscribe to Maya Lee's channel. She creates videos on self-improvement, getting past insecurities, and shows a glimpse of her teaching journey. It would mean a lot, not only to her, but to us. Also, if you liked this video, be sure to give it a thumbs up. And as always, thanks for watching.