 Colgate dental cream to clean your breath while you clean your teeth and help stop tooth decay and Luster cream shampoo for soft glamorous Corusable hair bring you our miss Brooks starring Eve Arden Another comedy episode of our miss Brooks written by Al Lewis Well, the baseball season is rapidly getting underway and our miss Brooks who teaches English at Madison High School is full of Enthusiasm for our national pastime. Yes, I am enthusiastic about the national pastime Largely, I must admit because of the enthusiasm for the game felt by one Philip Boynton my national pastime Thursday morning at breakfast my landlady asked me how come how come this sudden interest in baseball Connie seems to me You never cared about the game very much. Oh, you're wrong. Mrs. Davis. I always had a deep-rooted love for the game It just took someone to bring it out. Mr. Boynton. It wasn't Ty Cobb The way I look at it baseball will eventually further our romance How do you mean Connie? Well, I figure if he spends enough time looking at curves and watching fellows trying to get to first base It might give him an idea He's a backwards sort. All right, not about baseball Tomorrow's the opening game. Mrs. Davis with Clay City High and already mr. Boyntons invited me to go with him Now of course my troubles just begin. I've got to have a nice sport outfit to wear to the game What's wrong with the outfit you've got mr. Boynton seen me wearing it three times already three times Yes to the opening games of 1949 48 and 47 I made up my mind that this year when they throw out the first ball, I'm throwing out that dress Well, if only I wasn't so broke Let me think a minute. If there was somebody who could lend me I'm broke too Connie If there was somebody else who could know I guess borrowing isn't the answer wait a minute Connie I was talking to mr. Fisher yesterday. He's the nice man who runs the pawn shop on 4th Street I know we've met several times Well, I just happened to drop in yesterday to see that my brother Victor cigarette case was polished and mr. Fisher showed me the nicest for breath Brand you he had just picked it up at Sherry's department store at their spring sale a sport dress What did he wanted for waiting on trade? It's not for himself Connie was for his daughter, but unfortunately or maybe fortunately for you He didn't fit her and he couldn't take it back to Sherry's because all sales were final so So maybe he'd be willing to let you have it on the swap, but what could I swap him for it? Well, no, I'll need these fillings as I get older I'd be glad to let you take the vacuum cleaner Connie Well, that's very generous of you mrs. Davis, but wouldn't it make it terribly inconvenient when you wanted to clean the rug? Oh, not at all. I'm pawning the rugs next week But this summer coming and all it's much cooler in the house without rugs besides I need the money for other things Now you just take the Hoover and stop off at mr. Fisher's on your way to school. I certainly appreciate your kindness mrs. Davis But I sort of hate the idea of having to get anything like this at a pawn shop I mean I don't see why you should feel that way Connie It's just like any other business and a lot older than most Take Christopher Columbus for instance without a pawn shop. Where would he be today same place? You're right mrs. Davis though if Queen Isabella hadn't raised the money on her jewels Columbus couldn't have Discovered America exactly then where will you be? That's easy. I'd be teaching Indian kids for very little wampum Mr. Fisher well miss Brooks I haven't seen you since you redeemed your locket Correction you haven't seen me since I pawned it again after the holidays remember. Oh, of course It was on a Monday in January I recall it because I took in six pairs of binoculars that day the better to see my locket with my dear But what I'm here about this morning is a slight business deal You see mrs. Davis suggested that you might be interested in this vacuum cleaner Well, mrs. Davis is an old friend, but frankly we don't have too much of a call for vacuum cleaners Oh, I don't want any money on it. I just want to swap You will find plenty of use for the vacuum cleaner too because mrs. Davis is about to put a rugs in your protective custody for the summer again Well, then I guess I could use the vacuum at that well, let's see now. What could I give you in return? Oh, here's something that might come in handy. It's for dressing and undressing a genuine Chinese screen Well, actually we have very few Chinese getting dressed at our place What I had in mind mr. Fisher was this blue and gold sport dress over here those happen to be our school colors And well, I'm going to our opening baseball game tomorrow Understand my dear, and you're perfectly welcome to the dress. Oh, that's very nice of you mr. Fisher Just one thing though, mr. Brooke. Are you sure the dress will fit you even if it doesn't I'll look better in it Then I would in the vacuum cleaner Good morning, mr. Brooke. Hello Harriet. How's the beloved daughter of Madison's beloved principal this morning fine Thanks. Are you going past daddy's office as fast as possible? What can I do for you? Would you mind dropping this letter on his desk? It just arrived All right, I'll take it in. Thanks. Oh, and I almost forgot. Would you take this loving cop just for delivering a letter? It's the baseball trophy Madison one last year daddy asked me to pick it up after it was polished I've got a run now I want to catch Walter Denton before he invites anyone else to the opening game tomorrow. I know the feeling see you later, Harriet I've got something for you that is a matter of opinion The trophy oh, yes, we'll put it on my desk, please. Yes, sir there Anything else? Oh, yes, sir. Harriet gave me a letter for you now. We're in the world as I put it. Let me look in my bag Oh, it must be in here somewhere That's funny. I can't seem to find it miss Brooks Each day the post office department handles hundreds of tons of mail They carry it on trains and boats and planes over thousands of miles of varying terrain They go through rain and sleet and snow and dark of night And you can't be trusted to walk ten yards with one loud one letter. I May have dropped it in the hall. I'll go out and look for it in a minute Meanwhile, I wish you'd cheer up a bit Think of the ball game tomorrow and how we're going to whip clay city high You picked a perfect subject to elevate my spirits miss Brooks for your information There will be no game tomorrow. What? But you can't do that to mrs. Davis's vacuum cleaner I purposely got a brand new used sport dress for this game I've been looking forward to it for months. So have I miss Brooks nothing would please me more than to soundly Drub Jason Brill's clay city tigers, but the sad fact remains that we can't play them Why not because through some appalling mismanagement of the athletic fund our team has no uniforms Who's been handling the athletic fund that is beside the point? Overboard on the basketball appropriation. Oh, this is awful. Mr. Conflict baseball is the most popular sport at Madison Oh, well, I know it. That's why I've taken my glasses off miss Brooks They steam up when I gaze at this statue near my desk The bust of the man for whom we've named our athletic stadium The one person responsible for inaugurating baseball at Madison our beloved founder Yoda crich You feel badly, sir. A lump comes into my throat when I think of how he would take this catastrophe And when I hold this loving cup in my two hands Mr. Conflict. Yes, miss Brooks. Would you mind letting go of my ears? Oh, I'm sorry, I better put my glasses back on Look, mr. Conflict, isn't there something we could do to make the game possible. I'm afraid not miss Brooks unless we oh wait a minute Do you think our boys could play good ball without uniforms? I don't know how good they'd play, but they'd certainly draw a nice crowd Starring Eve Arden will continue in just a moment, but first here is Vern Smith No other dentifers offers proof of such results proof that Colgate dental cream helps stop tooth decay before it starts Two years research at leading universities using Colgate dental cream hundreds of case histories Makes this the most conclusive proof in all dentifers history on tooth decay Conclusive proof that when teeth are brushed with Colgate's right after eating Colgate dental cream helps stuff tooth decay before it starts Yes, the toothpaste you use to clean your breath while you clean your teeth now offers a safe proved way to reduce tooth decay Modern science shows decay is caused by mouth acids, which are at their worst right after eating brushing teeth with Colgate's as directed helps remove acids before they harm enamel Colgate dental cream has been proved to Contain all the necessary ingredients including an exclusive patented ingredient for effective daily dental care get Colgate dental cream today Big economy size only 59 cents always use Colgate dental cream to clean your breath While you clean your teeth and help stop tooth decay before it starts remember no other dentifers offers proof of such results Well, mr. Conklin refused to let our team play without the proper equipment Especially against Madison's traditional rival clay City High. I was pretty blue about the whole thing So when lunch period arrived I headed for mr. Boynton's biology laboratory my customary destination when I feel confused or unhappy or contented or cheerful or anything Hello, mr. Boynton night mr. Boynton. Oh, I'm over behind these cages just doing a little repair work Have you heard about the game being called off tomorrow? Yes, I'm just sick about it I had my heart set on going to that game tomorrow. So did I but don't be too depressed. We can still do something else together Together oh That's right. You were going along to the game with me. Weren't you? Obviously, I was indispensable to you But I know what might be fun we could go to the movies right after school by four o'clock We could be sitting in the balcony at the state theater. Oh, but the state doesn't open until 630. That's what I say It might be fun. I Don't understand. How could we have fun sitting in a movie for two and a half hours if there's nothing? Mr. Boynton, please do me a favor the next time We're in the balcony borrow the usher's flashlight and see how your fellow Americans are living. I Guess I may seem pretty naive on occasion miss Brooks. Oh, I don't know Sometimes you're quite a man of the world another world, of course Now suppose we go to lunch I've got to finish early and drop into the domestic science room Miss Westville promised to check my new sport dress and see what alterations it needs. Oh, is that what you've got in that box address? Yes, now come on. Mr. Boynton. Let's go. Well, I'll have to join you a bit later on miss Brooks I've got to finish repairing the locks on these rabbit cages. They're brand new too I can't understand how these iron locks were broken must have some pretty tough rabbits in there Look at them. Will you aren't they cute? I keep the female rabbits in one cage and the males in another you would Try and get your work done as soon as possible, huh? I will miss Brooks. I'd go with you right now, but it's rather important You know how rabbit cages are of course you wouldn't want to come back from lunch and find six cages where there were two before Let's see now where can I sit? Oh, there's Walter Denton Mind if I join you Walter? Not at all. Welcome aboard. Oh, most appetizing Of Madison's faculty Thank you, Walter. It's a pleasure. I'm sure your apple-cheeked cherry-lipped continents is like meat and drink to my beauty starved senses Thanks again Now get your teeth out of my arm and back into your set I'm afraid the abulance of my greeting to you is not a true barometer of my feelings miss Brooks No, no, we're formally cavorted the blithest of blind spirits. There now sits a sodden lump of gloom a veritable clod of a boy Walter Denton boy clod If I may be permitted an observation in your native tongue What pray is the cause of this unseeming cloddery? Oh, it's Harriet Conklin We had an argument and now she's not talking to me. Oh, what was the argument about? Well, it started when I heard that mr. Conklin was calling off tomorrow's ball game And I said I couldn't understand how our athletic fund got into such bad shape that we couldn't afford uniforms for the team Then well, then I mentioned mr. Conklin's administration of the funds in a way that Harriet construed as derogatory What did you say? I said he was a marble-headed dimwit. I Guess that could be construed as derogatory Look, I know how you feel Walter. I'm disappointed too, but after all my feelings transcend disappointment miss Brooks They can only be described as abjectly abysmal Cataclysmically morbid and horrendously depressive What did you have for lunch today? Look, Walter, maybe all hope isn't lost Oh, pardon me miss Brooks, but mr. Conklin wants to talk to us about the ball game tomorrow Yes, miss Brooks all hope is not lost now you see Walter I told you I knew it. I just knew if there was any possible chance to salvage that contest Mr. Conklin would be the man to do it. Yes, sir It isn't every school that can boast of a principal who even when he's made a few prior mistakes with the athletic fund can bounce Right We sit down with you for a moment miss Brooks certainly sir What's this about the game tomorrow? Do you really think we can hold it? That my dear depends upon the cooperation we get Suffice it to say I've contacted a sporting goods store in town who offered to rent us all the necessary uniforms and equipment for a Poultry twenty five dollars. Isn't that wonderful? Great. Have you got the poultry 25 mr. Conklin? No, no, I haven't my salary check doesn't come through until next week However, that is not going to stop me I feel now that I'm duty-bound to field a team against Clay City duty bound. Yes, miss Brooks Only minutes ago as I sat fondling our loving cup symbol of Madison's baseball championship of bygone seasons I looked up at the statue of our founder Yoda critch I seem to hear his voice say with a tear in it. I started baseball at Madison Osgood keep it going boy Then I heard myself saying but Yoda Where can I get 25 dollars for uniform? And fantastic as it may sound Yoda said Go Osgood go and get the money from miss Brooks Are you following me miss Brooks you lost me when Yoda said go Osgood It's such a worthy cause miss Brooks if I had the money I'd hand it over in a minute So would I if you had the money Or if I had it for that matter But my check doesn't come through until next week either, but surely you must have a little something salted away Just salt mr. Conklin Mr. Conklin, I wish I could be helpful, but I just can't you really are I laid out my last 40 dollars for those rabid cages I won't get it back from the board for over a month, and I just bought this sport dress with my last vacuum cleaner That is I got it is a very expensive place, and I feel as if I've been run through a vacuum cleaner If we could only borrow the money somewhere for just a few days. I'm sure wait a minute mr. Conklin Did you say borrow why yes for just a few days? That's right, sir. You've given me an idea Yes, I'm almost positive. It'll work now just sit still everyone I've got a couple of stops to make she miss Brooks. You look like you're on your way to a ball You're close Walter. I'm on my way to three of them Mr. Fisher, I'm at the real counter miss Brooks. Just step this way, please certainly I know you're a busy man mr. Fisher, so I'll be brief. What will you give me for this bust of Yodar Critch? Well now I don't like to seem callous miss Brooks, but you'd be surprised how few calls I get for busts of Yodar Critch I just want the money for a short time money you want money for this Oh, I'm sorry miss Brooks. That would be out of the question However, I've still got that large Chinese screen here. You could have that in exchange Oh, excuse me. I think another customer is coming in. I'll get back to you in a minute another customer If you don't mind mr. Fisher, I'd rather not be seen in here with this statue. I'll just duck behind the screen until he goes Yes, sir. What can I do for you? I'd like to borrow some money on what I have in this box And what might that be? It's a blue and gold sport dress Oh Yes, sir, it belongs to my wife, you know the little woman Well, I don't usually take in dresses unless they're in the family that is but Do you mind if we discuss this in a moment another customer is coming in? Oh another customer But I mustn't be seen in here with this dress. I'd better hide behind the screen until he's gone Don't rush yourself. It'll take him a few minutes to open the door Generally, they peer into the window outside for quite a while before sidling in I Don't want to take any chances. I'll see you later. Oh Pardon me. I didn't know anyone else is hiding behind miss Brooks Don't stand there. How big me kiss the little woman This is most embarrassing miss Brooks. I What are you doing with that statue of Yoda critch? Well, I never mind that mr. Boyden. What are you doing with my dress? Well, I never mind that miss Brooks. What are you doing with that statue? Quiet mr. Boyden another customer just came in Can I help you? Yes, sir? I'd like to hot these rabbit cages Rabbit cage just for a short period and then we'll take it off your hands rabbits and all This is an interesting day Business is booming too. I see another customer is about to enter another customer. Oh, I don't want anybody to see me in here I gotta hide somewhere Room for one more down front Thanks, miss Brooks. I'll just miss Brooks Oh, you won't tell mr. Boyden about these cages. Would you I'm sure she won't want her I wouldn't want you to find out that I So what are you doing with my rabbit cages? Miss Brooks, what are you doing with that statue of Yoda critch? Nevermind that Walter What are you doing with mr. Boyden's rabbit cages? Nevermind my rabbit cages miss Brooks. What are you doing with that statue? What are you doing with my dress mr. Boyden? Walter, what are you doing with my rabbit cages? Well, that was fun. Shall we go around again? You're out some way quiet Walter another customer just came in I can see through a crack in this screen He's coming all the way back to the last counter and what may I do for you sir? I sir should like to negotiate a loan on this silver loving cup You mean you want a hawk it don't be vulgar $25 would relieve my temporary financial embarrassment and the cup would be redeemed in a very short time. Well good heaven Somebody's coming in. I can't be seen in this sort of establishment. I'll just hide behind this screen until he leaves Yo, oh, I'm sorry boy. That's okay, mr. Conklin. I'll move over Thank you Walter now miss Brooks if you will move over a bit so that I can stand between mr. Boyden and yourself I'm sure we'll all be miss Brooks Walter Call you've left out Yoda our cringe So I have Miss Brooks, what are you doing with that statue of Yoda critch? Well, I Walter? What are you doing with mr. Boyden's rabbit cage? Mr. Boyden, what are you doing with miss Brooks dress? Yes, mr. Boyden. What are you doing with my dress quiet quiet? That sort of buck passing will never take my mind off that statue miss Brooks. It won't well try this on for size Mr. Conklin, what are you doing in this pawn shop with the Madison baseball trophy? Oh? Pretty good here for the same purpose to raise the money for the baseball uniform sure now if mr. Fisher will come through Well, my last customer just left my isn't it getting a little stuffy for you folks behind that screen Stuffier than ever lately Mr. Fisher, this is a very strange situation, but we're all here after the same $25 now You've seen our collateral take any or all of it and please give us the money of course my dear of course I'll give you $25 on this loving cup alone wonderful mr. Fisher now I won't have to cancel the game tomorrow and folks our mutual mortification has not been in vain Oh, uh, pardon me sir. There seems to be a letter in this loving cup a letter Oh, that must be the one Harriet gave me for you this morning It probably dropped in the cup while I was holding them both and no doubt miss Brooks Oh, I left my glasses at the office. Will you read the letter to me, please? Yes, sir Why it's from Jason Brill it says dear mr. Conklin due to a shortage in our athletic fund I am forced to cancel tomorrow's baseball game because my team has no uniform Miss Brooks returns in just a moment, but first Tonight yes tonight show him how much lovelier your hair can look After a luster cream shampoo Luster cream world's finest shampoo No other shampoo in the world gives you k-doom. It's magic blend of secret ingredients plus gentle lanolin Better than a soap better than a liquid luster cream is a dainty cream shampoo Leaves hair three ways lovelier Fragmently clean free of loose dandruff listening with sheen soft manageable even in hardest water Luster cream lathers instantly no special rinse needed after a luster cream shampoo So gentle luster cream is wonderful even for children's hair tonight. Yes tonight try luster cream shampoo dream girl dream girl Beautiful luster cream girl. You owe your crown in glory And Now once again here is our miss Brooks Well, we were all very disappointed by the postponement of the opening baseball game with clay city But my chagrin was short-lived because that night I had a date with mr. Boynton and soon I heard him saying come a little closer miss Brooks. All right. How's this? Closer like this a little closer, please mr. Boynton if we get any closer to that movie screen will be in the picture I mean to another hour This book show brought to you by Luster Cream Shampoo for soft glamorous to restable hair and Colgate dental cream to clean your breath while you clean your teeth and help stop tooth decay our miss Brooks starring Eve Arden Is produced by Larry Burns directed by Al Lewis with the music of Wilbur hatch under the direction of Maurice Carlton Mr. Boynton is played by Jeff Chandler Mr. Conklin by Gale Gordon others in tonight's cast where Jane Morgan Dick Cranna Gloria McMillan and Frank Nelson Doctors prove palm olive soap can bring you a lovelier complexion in 14 days Yes, 36 leading skin specialists proved in tests on 1285 different women that palm olive soap facials using nothing but palm olive brought new Complexion beauty to two women out of three Just wash your face three times daily with palm olive soap each time for 60 seconds Massaging palm olives beauty lather onto your skin then rinse So start your palm olive facials today the member Doctors prove palm olive soap can bring you a lovelier complexion in 14 days Our mystery liberally sprinkled with laughs listen to mr. And mrs. North Tuesday evening over most of these same stations And be with us again next week at the same time for another comedy episode of our miss Brooks Bob Lamont speaking