 Item Number SCP-2317-J Object Class A Polyon Correction Safe Special Containment Procedures SCP-2317-J is to be kept shut at all times, and not opened under any circumstances. Personnel are to be reminded that, no matter what the voice on the other side says, the only living organism behind SCP-2317-J is SCP-2317-JK. A sticky note reading, do not open SCP-2317-JK inside, wants to eat the world, is to be stuck onto SCP-2317-J at all times as a last resort method against the opening of SCP-2317-J. Description SCP-2317-J is a door that acts as a universal portal, opening into Universe Kappa-Erakesh. The accessible area behind SCP-2317-J was a salt pan several kilometers across. Formerly, SCP-2317-J held seven marble pillars, but these had been destroyed by SCP-2317-JK. SCP-2317-JK is a 200 kilometer tall, obese humanoid entity that was formerly contained by seven hooks embedded into its back, connected to the seven pillars found in Universe Kappa-Erakesh. Each of these hooks or pillars has broken, releasing SCP-2317-JK. Addendum 1 The Awakening of SCP-2317-JK After the breaking of the seventh chain, the Awakening of SCP-2317-JK was predicted. O5-13 arrived at containment area 179 to witness the impending end of the world, and as a last resort, potentially bargain with SCP-2317-JK. The ground around the seven pillars within SCP-2317-J shatters, and SCP-2317-JK emerges from the ground. It is 200 kilometers tall, with kilometer tall horns. It begins roaring. I am the black box, black box, black box, black box, destroyer of worlds. No one is safe from my wrath. O5-13 and other Foundation personnel retreat through SCP-2317-JK. For four thousand years I have been imprisoned, and now I am free. Shut the door. This guy is really extra. I don't want to be imprisoned. SCP-2317-J is closed. is really extra. I don't want to listen to him." SCP-2317-J is closed. Now, to find the Earth and enact my vengeance. Uh, where is the Earth? Oh, there's the door. There is a loud bang against SCP-2317-J. Ah, fuck me. I broke off the door handle with my fat fingers. Would one of you kind of on the other side? Please open the door for me. There is 20 minutes of deliberation between O5-13 and SCP-2317 containment personnel about how to respond to SCP-2317-JK's request. No. Oh, come on. I've been in prison for 4,000 years. Give a diet break, would ya? Addendum 2. Escape Attempts. Voices identified. SCP-2317-JK. Sargeant Hannibal Masterson. Research assistant Jonathan Vance. Excuse me. Is anyone there? Hello? Excuse me, sir, but could you please open the door? Sure. Hold on a… wait a minute. You wouldn't happen to be SCP-2317-JK, would you? What? No. I'm, uh, KJ-7132-TCS, his, uh, cousin. Oh, that makes sense. Let me get the door. Thank you. Sargeant Masterson reads the sticky note stuck to SCP-2317-J. Wait a minute. Who'd you say you were? SCP-2137-JK's cousin. Hey, Johnny Vance. Get me the Arrakesh Codex. Uh, sure, boss. Right away. Sargeant Masterson and research assistant Vance look through the Arrakesh Codex. Nice try there, but SCP-217-JK ate all his cousins. Uh, if you didn't eat me? You're SCP-217-JK, aren't you? Curse you, Foundation. I'll catch you next time. Voice is identified. SCP-217-JK, Assistant Researcher Dr. Jackson Choi, Sargeant Hannibal Masterson. Is anyone there? Hello, SCP-217-JK. Oh, hey, Jackson. What's up? As you know, I am an Elkish Monstrosity. That is true. But if you open that door, I will grant you wishes. Are these going to be those shitty genie wishes where you horribly subvert what I want? Oh no, we'll take your wishes for me. You drive a hard bargain, but I think I'm going to accept. Dr. Choi moves to open the door. Sargeant Masterson enters the containment cell. What are you doing? SCP-217-JK says he'll give me wishes if I open this door. Nice. Let's do it. Dr. Choi and Sargeant Masterson move to open SCP-217-J. Sargeant Masterson reads the sticky note on SCP-217-JK. Wait a minute. SCP-217-JK, what are your plans if we open this door? You silver-tongued devil. You'll give us the wishes and then just eat us. These days I'll have my two. Voices identified. Senior Researcher Dr. Victoria Fellini, Research Assistant Vance, SCP-217-JK, Sargeant Hannibal Masterson, Dr. Jackson Choi. There is a knocking sound coming from SCP-217-J. Hey, somebody go take care of that. Research Assistant Vance walks up to SCP-217-J. Uh, hello? Hey, I got a large pizza here for Incident Area 179. Hey, Dr. Fellini, this guy says he's got a pizza for us. Do we have pizza money? No, the overseer said we were ordering too much fast food and slashed our budget. Oh, no, it's fine. This pizza is on the house. A pizza on the house? Oh, sure. As I ever word for it, customer loyalty. Customer loyalty to where? Sargeant King's Pies. We've never ordered pizza from them before. It's an incentive to order from there more. Hey, I'm not arguing with a free pizza. Agreed. Go get that pizza. Research Assistant Vance rises to open SCP-217-J. At this moment, Dr. Kane Pathos Crowe entered the containment cell. What's going on here? We're about to get free pizza. Nice. From where? Scarlet King's Pies. It's an incentive to buy from there more. Research Assistant Vance continues to proceed to SCP-217-J. Dr. Crowe notices and reads the sticky note posted to it. Wait, stop. The only thing behind that door is SCP-217-JK. GASP! There's no pizza, is there? And I will guide the way, Mr. Chip, if I'm in for you and your little dog. Voices identified. SCP-217-JK. D-28191. D-17095. D-37474. Due to every member of the SCP-217-J containment staff poorly timing their vacations, every position on the staff was being filled by D-class workers. Hey, are we not playing chess this week? We're not the normal guys. We're just temps. Yeah, we're just criminals working the job. Would you be interested in opening the door? They specifically told us not to do that. That's like the one thing we aren't supposed to do. Oh, come on. Live a little. Have some fun. Break the rules. Why would it be fun to open a door? Hey, what's the harm? Let's open the door. I haven't had this much fun in years. D-37474 opens SCP-217-J, revealing SCP-217-JK crouched down on the other side. Maybe I shouldn't have done that. SCP-217-JK attempts to crawl through SCP-217-J head first. However, its head is too large and cannot fit through. I seem to have put on a few prongs since the last time I was trying to fit the strategy. SCP-217-JK attempts to poke a single finger through SCP-217-J, but again, is too large and cannot fit through. They were worried that this guy could end the world. But you're a hundred mile tall demon. You're never going to fit through. That's it. SCP-217-JK raises its head and exhales fire upon SCP-217-J. Fire briefly appears in the containment cell, with no important casualties. Ow! I think he's inched my eyebrows off! Oh god! D-28191 is dead! D-17095 stands up and walks toward SCP-217-J. You know, that pizza offer is actually pretty tempting. D-17095 closes SCP-2317-J.