 Corpse sex is definitely one of the most heinous addictions that you've had. Are we live in each and every one out state? It's the final it's the season finale of the fucking fully actual podcast and we have non-alcoholic beers to celebrate and plenty of romance plenty of bongs getting around but I haven't had one yet today My little vibrant soon that will crash soon. As soon as I have a 3 today. I'm gonna have 3 We have fucking Julien in the background here. Can't do any taxes Fucking Matt Brown Fuck what has happened? Dude, you said you would not swear. You literally promised me Fuck that shit, baby! It's the final episode! It's the finale Man, what happened? Well, how many? We thank you to everyone who voted for the listeners choice We literally beautiful votes. We literally no joke what over a thousand DMs. I think we said dude It became a fucking we became delirious Yeah, we we just get high and then lie on the floor and have free cats That's all it was was a really saying thank you Some people have been sending your replies back saying this is this is over a thousand people took a very long time So thank you to everyone who voted please continue to vote link will be in the description But we will no longer be sending out thank you messages because we've got other things to do as well Yeah, you can vote more than once parents. Well nice I went to the the terms and conditions today to double-check that fact Oh, they can probably tell and they said they Store everyone's email so you can only vote once that's fucked. I can't As if they're gonna have the resources to go through it did have like a system that I don't know But I ended up voting a couple of times just Yeah, well fucking I think I think we're doing well. I don't know man Yeah, like I said, I don't know even if we did win if they would pick us because they seem to it would definitely be rigged It would be it is it seems like we don't belong here Anywhere? Oh, we belong here. Yeah, well, we belong to all of these people listening and watching Yeah, but anywhere else where it's like normalville and awards we get kicked straight out of normalville, don't we? What else happened on the fucking weekend come off my brother? Oh, yeah came up We caught up with your nephew. Yep, and he fucking wants to be in some vids. Yeah, we kicked a soccer ball with him He's good at it by the way. Yeah, he's very good at soccer. Yeah, it's got some motor skills We've been fucking working hard on stopping Julian from smoking. Yeah, fuck should have a video fucking soon He had a cigarette just before. Yeah, no, you didn't fucking stop him mate I was fucking getting ready for the podcast and you're standing there fucking fumbling your mince ball. Yeah, sorry about Fucking minutes happened fucking Not just been fucking filming hard, man. Oh, yeah, we've got we're planning close to do His beauty really pain. Yeah, we're planning that one. That'll be we'll be filming Well, you're listening to this we'll be filming this one choose this week As you will the week you're listening to this as well as many other videos we have on the go constantly. Oh, yeah, fuck The nail experiment would be out the nail gun expand has you on the website. You would have seen it It's healed. Yeah. Hey, if you're not a website member This is probably the most closest during filming that we've been to death for a while and nail Oh, we already explained already explain so that video is out on the website right now Go and sign up of fucking let me tell you this whole fucking operation right here Mm-hmm is funded is funded by the University of Markle the subscription website, right? So if you want to support us, you could sign up for 21 days You can see if you like the content before you decide to stay on a leaf if you want to leave you leave free charge No worries. We post weekly videos. They're like 30 40 minutes long. They're fucked up They're crazy like shooting each other with nail guns and it's every fucking week Okay, you want to see behind the scenes of our lives, man? No, you don't you don't signed up. Is it free for 21 days? When we've said that every single week your zones out should I do it? Yes Anyway, no, I'm not gonna and the other sponsor, of course is the brave and powerful Man-scaped They have all sorts of fucking cool shit. All right, they got all types of male grooming stuff You got hairs in your nose like I do. Oh, yeah. Well, they got something for that. All right, you just shove it up your nose Boom, it's gone painless. They got ball trimmers. They got fucking huge posters All you have to do is use our discount code fully actual 20 for 20% off whatever you buy get some Christmas presents Get something for yourself If you will sister has a hairy moot go visit manscaped Girls can get it to fucking a day can't and they don't got balls to Nick. Oh, yeah, it'd be so much easier. Oh, what about Flap what about no snap the fucking little bean off? Oh For fucking beans covered over and trim a clit off All right, so for the season finale we got a pretty jam-packed episode with we doing a few We've already filmed a couple of prank calls. All right, and they're so we're putting more than one out We got an interview with Brandon Novak right at the end, which was fucking cool. We got we're gonna do some German Is that right man? Yeah, there's some German. We got some questions. We got what else? Darius Dario we've got so many gifts. We got we go on boxing shit decent sized dusty Baker Your gift is here. He's been bugging me and he's wanting to know if it arrived. It's here Well, they fucking go dusty, baby, you're shit to write, baby. Yeah Is if this is a correct one you told everyone And you would show oh your center center if it's the correct one that I'm thinking it is and I think it is Yeah, baby down, baby. Don't ever make Say things in a podcast. This is what I said something what season two or something. This is season numb Early three sure hello, that's how we got some gold bars. Yeah the gold bars That's right Keep sending the gold bars in come to if you want to send us anything to the PO box We will be checking it during our break. So don't worry. Nothing's gonna like go off or anything We will let everyone know what we want to do for next season so they could think ahead and start sending it No, I reckon we fucking with reveal that fucking season Okay, the next year and because we still got to think of what it is Well, we don't know what it's gonna be because it's gonna be built. Yeah, well We're gonna so we'll give it a little give it a little a little snippet away. Hey, how's that? Next year for the PO box, we're going to use you guys to build something so you guys send something in and then we build Whoa a part of something and then we build it and we're gonna build some sort of sculpture Maybe a human maybe when we're gonna go from Matt a requifting Yeah, but we might be a bit short on getting tits sent to us because recovered a requifter and was entirely made of breasts Yeah, I'm sure there's some stuff, but yeah, anyway, that's what we're gonna be doing the PO box next year But so by a mannequin and then we slowly dress it No, yeah, that could work and then we'll fucking do a weird ritual to like bring it to life. Yeah Well, Matt knows how to do that. I'll got you Fuck yeah, come and if anyone can send us an air con Send us one man. I'm so like Slimey I Got the glades of a summer's evening I'm sweating Ham that's been left out on the counter He looks he walks up a stair and then he's Oh Only summer but you know when we play talker and then at the end of each get like game We all shake hands Marty's always the hardest cuz you'll give you like a handshake sort of Well, that's that's the fucking shit talk all right fucking I can't believe this last podcast for this year Christmas special, but that won't be a regular podcast. So this is fucking crazy man. This is fucking crazy. Anyway That's fuck. That's a lot. Yeah, a lot imagine when we get to a thousand man That's what you're gonna say. Yeah, see how many is Joe Rogan done Matthew Brown 2000 somewhere And the Hamish and Andy they've done over a thousand. I think fuck, but then like your Logan Paul's they're not there I think they're at the 800s. I can't remember but then but I remember watching them at like 200 And like it really shows the grind Because they're only like 50,000 views of you know, yeah And then it just look at the will be the same. They'll be saying that about us one day can't definitely Oh, man, imagine remember fucking fully actual before they all fucking when nuts and kill themselves Oh Fuck you called horrible fucking now speak that out there speaking of putting things out there Diary entries. Oh, yes. Here we go The battle is today. It's gonna be a good day. Maybe we don't know I Here we go diary entry number 148 from Michael Corey Brookhouse Our reality is presented to us by a five senses seen hearing smelling tasting and feeling The more you use a sense the stronger it becomes and the less you use a sense the weaker it becomes It seems as we progress as a society We feel less and less if you are blind you can feel someone's face and still know what they look like So essentially blind people can still see by feeling if you're deaf you can still feel vibrations from sounds So deaf people can still hear also by feeling Feeling is by far the most informative sense yet also the most neglected in a world when no one feels anymore We become more and more disconnected I urge you to start feeling again for feeling is the only way to truly see So feel feel harder and feel more frequently than you've ever felt before feel feel feel Let's feel our way to a better world except kids don't feel kids Anyway, I'm off to buy my 12th set of cutlery this year because I throw away my color after using it once to save time Haha That is so true The door just opened and slammed and we all looked around like what the hell that wasn't any of us Maybe someone's at the door and then we realized it can't be someone and then it's through everyone's head thought fuck was that a ghost? Yeah, what was that? Anyway fucking feeling hey It's essential true like feeling is in you fear have feeling I need to grab people You know both you don't need to you don't need any other sense really you just need to be able to feel Yeah, I need the other senses If you just if you just feel I know a bat's do It's not these sonic. Oh, sorry. What about me What's it? So you got hearing sight feeling smelling. What's the other one taste taste? Yeah, what about people that you don't need taste or scent taste or sense nith You don't need to send what you don't need smell. I can't even smell anyway Smell is their strongest sense but life would be a thrive cunt pretty bland So seeing you can use with feeling and hearing you can use with feeling, but can you use? feeling for scent and taste I'm sure you could feel something and no smell if you worked your feeling sense hard enough and Improved it to a point where you were untouchable Matt Brown That's true. Okay, and tongue you are feeling because you're Tasting it. Exactly. So it's the same thing. That's exactly right. We got that sort of diary entry number 120 from Marty Today the kids at school were laughing at me because they noticed that I never have lunch They kept joking that my family left all our money in Germany Then they pointed at a brick wall and said that I love that wall because it looks like the Berlin wall I started muttering a spell under my breath to try and curse him But it didn't work and one of the boys pushed me onto the road I car ran over my arm, but I showed my mom and mom said it's okay and breastfed me for dinner It was a pretty good Oh Number 69 from Julian James Tennyson was from Ashgrove or some shit 40 60 till Today me my essay crew went on a camping trip in WA We got on the pipe and goon and one thing led to another and the boys dared me to take something from a random tent I fucking stabbed my way into the tent and felt around inside I felt like a doll or something and pull it out turns out. It was a fucking kid. Ha ha ha ha I showed the boys and they fucking lost it. Can't We stashed the girl Chloe or clueless some shit She said her name was in my tent while she slept but once we sobered up We thought we'd better get out of there stastad. I didn't know what to do with her But I thought I would just drop her on my uncle's place because he's like love's dolls and that I told him to drop her back to the campsite before the parents realized but he was pretty out of it when I dropped her No, well, I'm sure you'll figure it out. Ha ha ha Grip neck and sling shit Holy shit, that sounds so familiar That's where I've seen that story go on No, it's where I've seen that out and out of someone else's mouth like what maybe on the TV or something I saw a show. Hope it's not too soon No, you guys talking about it. Yeah, I'm just gonna keep going next one these cryptic things you guys are talking about On this day. Oh, no, it's Matt Brown's fucking final diary entry. We'll get we'll do the on this day. I thought you're gonna miss me On this day in 1894 pokies were invented to cure loneliness in middle-aged men The invention worked too well and soon men everywhere were developing relationships with these machines Lonely men everywhere became addicted to poking machines So they decided to redesign the poker machines so that they took your money while you spent time with them This lower deduction rates But you can still see sad lonely men playing their beloved poking machines in pubs and casinos all over Australia And then he's got in brackets here Julian plays a fair bit All right good of the poke easy one me how much 150 the other day you got me Sorry Don't Matt don't get him started We won't fucking no Julian. No, we're not fucking goes to put it down next. We're not playing good night. No, seriously, dude Shrinking oh my god, look at him. No, he's about to go live They're not even looking at me. Can I stay on the record? I have never played fortnight in my fucking life and all this I get fucking hundreds of DMs And this fuck Matt Brown messages me and tags me and shit on Facebook Every day will last a fortnight. I fucking hate that game and I'm the fucking nerds play it And you'll never catch me fucking playing it you fucks This shit last week's one was Messaging me shit Oh Very good very very all right here we go Diary entry number 1,084 from Matthew It's what it says Fuck Snow began to fall I Watched as multiple snowflakes landed on my father's lifeless face I knelt down next to him and sucked his balls one last time The wound on his face had blood spraying out of it so forcefully that the blood was a fine mist I whispered in his ear And I stood up to face choir and question Choir was smoking and holding a loaded slingshot. She also had a dead fetus dangling from her cunt She aimed at me and shot a rock straight at my head I instantly snapped my back backwards and the rock flew millimeters over my face I straightened myself and saw the disbelief on choir's face I laughed and began sprinting towards them while making a high-pitched squealing sound Quiet dove for cover but quest and stood his ground I was about 20 meters away and launched myself at quest and like a flying superman He ducked under my arms, but my little brown sprayed black hot mints directly into his face as I sailed over him quest and screamed And I could hear his skin burning it sounded like a fresh steak being slapped onto a hot pan Queston was kneeling down clutching his face I ran up behind him wrapped my arms around his chest picked him up turned him upside down and Grove his head into the ground I wrapped my pants to reveal my aggressively throbbing little brown and fuck thrusted forwards towards my unconscious brother My little brown shot directly into my brother's asshole I felt extreme pain and pulled back instantly my slash little brown barbed wire was sticking from questons ass The cunt had booby trapped his ass Just as I went to pull the barbed wire and finish having my brother a thumb exploded up my ring from behind me It was choir I clenched my ass cheeks as hard as I could to try and stop choir from shoving more of her arm up Me she was already up to a wrist and I could hear her excited laughter She had her other arm wrapped him all around my neck and she started tonguing at my eyes her tongue felt rough like a cat's tongue I grabbed her arm around my neck with one hand and started wanking myself with the other Her arm was inching its way further and further up my colon and she was up to her elbow now I needed mints now I gripped my little brown as hard as I could trunk desperately to squeeze mints out I felt the grip around my neck tighten and I was weakening Choir's tits were lactating battery acid all over my back and I was losing hope She was about to have me just as I was about to give up. I felt my balls being sucked Could it be I looked down and there was dad working my balls wall with both of these hands One tossed me in perfect unison I cupped my knob and steaming hot brown mints and cysts Gushed out of my little brown once my hand was full I slapped the hot mints over my shoulder into choir's fucking face She released me instantly began screaming. I turned and power drove my knees into her tits She fell backward still clawing at her minced face I wrapped her fucking hair around my wrist and ripped up as powerfully as I could her hair And most of her scalp peeled away from her head and I tossed it at the still unconscious question I grabbed her knees and spread them my little brown was so hard and fractured that it could have been used to Sharpen kitchen knives just as I was about to thrust forward and finally have my mother I was violently pulled backwards and thrown a few meters shocked I looked around for who it was my father was walking towards me It was and my name isn't dad My father stood over me and he somehow seemed to different to my surprise quiet quest and joined him and both stood next to him What's going on? We had one dad. Oh, you're bad to have them both I'm afraid I can't let you have anyone Matt said dad. I stood up. Who are you? My name is quack shift and I am an ancient warrior I was sent here 1,000 years ago from the planet quelch to protect earth There are only a few of us that live here. I stupidly bred with choir who is half human So you are one quarter human and three quarters queltch Matt your powers are getting too strong So the three of us had to band together and stop you you were becoming dangerous and to stop you we have to have you Had me what the fuck it's going on right now. Yeah, I screamed Please just make this easy and let us have you then you will understand I stood and began singing I said It's not okay. I don't feel safe I need you and I said then I threw a fast punch at my father But he caught it with ease and began crushing my fists. He was so powerful a power I'd never felt before I came I dropped my knees I felt so betrayed I spat a golly at questin and it slapped onto his forehead I cocked my head back and laughed as I felt choir Questin and quack shift and golf my body as all three started having me my mind goes black And I think that's it, but then I hear a beeping in my head and my eyes start to open All of a sudden I was in hospital. I felt Different I scanned the room and to my horror Questin choir and quack shift all stood around my bed smiling down at me You were cured said questin at first I was confused, but then I realized my extreme lust for slots was gone My desire to stalk hunt and kill has completely left me. I am free. I feel Love All this time I was the dangerous one and you guys saved me before I hurt someone. Thank you so much I finally understand. I said now I can all be a family and live with love instead of hate-filled rage fucking said dad I breathe the sigh of relief and tears of joy blasted out of my eyes It was then I knew I no longer needed a diary and that this would be my last diary entry ever That is powerful shit, that's how you do it He had booby trapped He's ours. I wish he said he booby trapped his bum I would have lost it then because the double B shit would have freaked my brain out. He's great Fuck man. That is an epic journey. So that's why you were so fucked. All you needed to do was have Hav'd if he halved by having you weren't the fucked up one I mean you were the fucked up one, but all along you fixed yourself and here you are Fixed power family you are now fully actual I think Gerseth's car in the back, baby. That's some crazy shit Sorry about that. That's a wild ride remembering all that. Yeah, I can only imagine I can only imagine the tears towards you and we there's tears coming out of Matt Brown's fucking head come fully crying right now I'm for the fucking questions everyone. This is the last questions of the year Really? Yeah, baby. Should we have some Christmas questions? Yeah. Yeah, look, there'll be a Christmas special But I'm saying this is the season finale. So everyone comment your Christmas questions the next week If you want a Christmas questions, yeah, are we filming that next week? We might as well get it out of the way No, I won't all right. I reckon closer to Christmas. I want to be in a Christmas feel I want to like see Santa and she doesn't matter the way. Yeah, I reckon we wait till like early December. Can I 25th of December, okay Next question. All right number one question I think went to Victor Calvo Calvo Matt just stop it stop butchering in the poor cunt's name. Sorry Victor Sorry Victor. Sorry Question for the podcast Marty, can you sing us a German Christmas song? By the way, I love the personal. Thank you video I showed it all to my yes. I'm looking forward to this Here we fucking go. Should we save it for Christmas? Wait sing you've got a Jingle bells in German What German songs do I know? Well, maybe we maybe you can learn one for Christmas special German song for you if you like. Yeah, I'd like that. Okay. All right, Marty's gonna learn a German Christmas carol. What's that? It's not really a German word that just means like snap it's like someone going Oh What about that one? Is that a real one? Yeah, not 99 fucking red balloons count Let's think it in Euro trip. I'm pretty sure the German version. Yeah, they fucking yeah Fucking songs down the rounds count seriously, that's German songs fucking being all over the world count spreading the German flag Fuck 99 red balloons count All right next question is from whistler If you could collaborate with any youtuber who would it be love the podcast any YouTuber in the whole wide world anyone you want Hmm never even thought about this a Like could be because we're at the pinnacle where the very best yet sort of when you're at the top of the mountain You don't really look down at the scum trying to call their way up the mountain behind you You just sort of enjoy the view from the top, I guess but if we had to choose someone Hmm, maybe I would choose Kim Kardashian She's not an influencer Yeah, I Fuck it's hard. I can't think of one Maybe I think that's Andrew Hales a similar question got asked once. It's pretty cool to fucking collab with him Yeah, we love that anyone in the world that we have to pick someone massive massive PewDiePie Is he still making vids? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, maybe why don't we collab with PewDiePie? I'll send him message. Yeah, send him a DM on the Instagram. Let's do it right now Let's see if we can all right. I'll send my message right now and I'll tweet. I'll tweet at him Chicks love it when you do that. So we should probably have a vid in the next couple weeks Sorry PewDiePie. He's on 21 million on Instagram All right, I'm gonna message him. Hey, mate Hey, mate, it's us here. Are you free? Hey, mate. It's us here Just wondering if you would be down for a quick collab Maybe shoot some hoops or something Hoops or something We'll call the video Shooting hoops and Just relaxing PewDiePie See if he'll cover the fly. PewDiePie. He's got a fly to us. Yeah, of course He probably knows us. Can you get here next week? Get here. We'll give him a couple of weeks to get here like a fortnight Thanks, mate Continue with the song and dance next question it's from Ryan fans Ferdinand Which Marty which side of the Berlin wall are you from I have as from the eastern side That's the poor side, right? Yes, the poor side. We'll go to the boss a pretty poor Well both pretty and poor, but yeah, we were on the poor side. Do you have any memories of it there? No, well, we we fled I picture it just like life there was like black and white All the buildings are the same all the buildings were the same and it was the Russians were everywhere Who's snare why are you saying snare? No, that's snap Next question is from Was funny, but now you've taken it too far Come on come back come on okay come back Come back. Come on. Yeah, I'm good. Come on. Good Matt come back See it's tough for people who are sober Okay, here we go. All right next question is from ex-willbow Michael. Have you still got the belly piercing? Yeah, I was kayaking the other day and it fucking fell out from ringworm So annoying just as we get asked that question, but you hadn't even for a while man Like seriously, I was like what the fuck three days later. He's still going in sure enough Maybe too far. Yeah, it looked terrible, but that's why I wore it. It was just like it looks shit Like why would you wear it? Next question is from Matthew? What is Julian doing while you guys do the podcast? My tax returns in shit Finish your taxes next question Next question is from Sean able if you had to save a child or a dog from a burning car But you could only save one which would you save and why? It depends on so many things man. Yeah, so I thought how damage is the baby already is The dog a big dog is the dog a little dog probably the baby, right? How old is the baby because like if it's really really newborn No one's really like loving it yet because I haven't had a chance to love it yet And you've got a shorter time doesn't really matter if you always make another one But he'd fucking get done. It's like if you had to choose out of that and you chose a dog We'd be the manslaughter What does what so there's people know my decision? Yeah, well then it would have to be I'd save both or die trying can't and that's the truth man You've seen me man. He's seen me at the gym. I got a hard, baby There's no buts about it, baby I get them both fucking out can't and they're not fucking fight that fire out with you can only choose one So which one the dog or the baby? Man, I don't understand always make another baby. Just choose the dog. All right Next question Actually, sorry a lot of people Commented and agreed with Michael around the KFC issue about being a fresh There was several comments about I think that those people are thinking like when they get really old That's been there for like a few hours type shit though Like if it's just normal fresh. Oh, no, like it just it's so nice if it's just man It's too hot. You got to wait for the oil. Yeah, I know but then you yeah, like it doesn't take that long It's like what a minute of waiting and then it's just Yeah, exactly God I just want to eat. Yeah, okay fucking hell Soon as he buys a pizza He'll open it and separate all the pieces so they cool down quicker and then you push them down your throat Perfect, it's still in dust. So you don't have to chew like I can't be I'm too lazy to like do that It's like I'll just pick up the first piece and just nibble at it Until it burns a bit and then I'll wait and then have another bite He'll do all this extra shit to cool it down man. He's eating it within like two minutes Shovels it. I learned to eat quick, baby. You'll starve I Next question is from red rage and this is a bit of serious one Did you guys hear what happened at the Travis Scott concert and question is what would you guys do if you're in that situation? Wait, what happened? You don't even read the lines. So Travis Scott the rapper He did a show Basically, they pumped the crowd up and the crowd rushed the stage and everyone squished up and like eight people died Holy fuck. Yeah, is he in trouble for that? I think some people are trying to assume. What sort of concert was it? What was that? Like what? Yeah, but what was the like thing? I don't know. I think it was just a one-off like a rap show I don't know Julian Julian Julian was there. It was a festival in Houston. It was what I showed you with all the satanic shit Oh, yeah, but I think him and Drake are getting sued for inciting. Yeah We have to wait and see what happens if they if that happened at one at an event a mighty and Michael People eight people are dead and the thing was the whole crowd was chanting Stop the show stop this show and he heard it and then he said alright Everybody makes some noise to try and like no way out and like there was is there evidence of that? So that he continued the show. Yeah. Yeah. There was footage of people 30 feet away from him getting Resuscitated like dad and he saw the he's rapping dancing around. I'm just like what you want to stop it No, let's keep going like man. That sounds like yes I suppose you'd have to do everything you can for the families make it easier covering the funeral cost of the Families that died, but that's fucking nothing isn't like three grand he Travis Scott is like one of the most successful Selling artists of the last five years She cares about that. So he's got a kid with our Kylie Jenner. He becomes rolling in money. Nobody cares about that All right next question But yeah, I guess we would just fuck it. Just maybe everyone settled down a bit, please. I'd say that Yeah, and then that wouldn't happen and reminds me a big day out years ago with limp biscuit Oh Matt come on every chance he gets he's talking about his time at big day out where he saw limp biscuit play That has to be the fucking 50th time. You've said that you know, it's funny I did talk about at work. So if anyone listens to that, it's gonna be every fucking day He's talking about me starting to talk about Michael's Again because of you by the way, I've even started eating biscuits Tim Tams next question Sorry Next question is from James Kirk Park trick What would you say to anyone wanting to start a podcast or a prank channel doing what you do? Get ready, baby You got to put in some time and effort like we we probably thought honestly it'd be easier than this when we first started I went to bed thinking man, it's she's gonna be easy, baby You just show up and then it's done and you just it's easy. It's not you get better at podcast Sometimes when you're not in a giggly mood. Oh, it's hard to like you get better in the podcast as you go So like you fucking just got to keep doing it and then Consistency is key and a bit of structure a little bit of structure helps. You know, we have little segments and talk about things Next question is Michael Michael can you give us three things you would accept for your head to be shaved? 50 grand You wouldn't do 50 grand You're insane think about how many orphans you could fucking bash with that money. You could have so many killed Oh, I reckon I don't know. Yeah, I don't think there is I don't think there is excuse me What about um solving world hunger, baby, okay, but we've done that what about stopping all the environment We've I guess we're contributing to that is humanity and you can do all sorts of things you can what if it you stop Matt from Getting cancer in six years. Would you shave your head for that? I'm listening I'm gonna say yes. Well, there you go. No, we have to shave it Okay, I Will shave my head if no I didn't say it but yeah But we've got it on recording now Yeah, I guess I will have to I have something to reveal Oh fuck imagine there'd be a pretty funny way to reveal Pretty sad we would be shaving your head final episode We'll just leave a little mullet Next question is from Matt dog 99 boys. How afraid of you of Matt Brown? Oh, how afraid are you of Matt Brown write these things? I think twice if you're being held against your will. I hate that quick up that whole thing. No damn it. They need to hear it The tongue was doing this Okay It's like vibrating Okay, no Sometimes it does that involuntarily When I smell all the Germans around me come next question is from oh Matthew Knowles again. How do you guys gonna celebrate? Slightly open your teeth up and you can identify that's a fellow German Oh Put it in the blades and just for a bit. I'm scared of what we've used this for oh, yeah fuck wait these ones are good. I think No, oh, I trust it. Both of you. Oh, okay. I don't want to show Wayne sitting around having Final question Alright last one How did it feel to run through 12 layers of glabra fun butt hurts I felt like a fucking man Can't we are going these are great suggestions by the way We're gonna do the car and bike and mate. Let's do electrics. Okay. What's the current box do it? We're gonna do the layers again, but go through On a fucking bike in a car We're gonna use the coin car and we're gonna go to a hundred kilometers an hour and see how many layers of cling wrap You need to stop a car in a hundred kilometers now on that brown. Oh, that's gonna get fucking injured No, because you just stop because Because we know because we've already done it on a small scale Just puts you back like this you go forward you got back a little bit, baby So the car got falls don't put it in reverse it goes back into the baby Is this how you guys talked about the nail gun? Just comes out and we've never done before we've done pre-study with this we've done we've done pre-study man It's like it's like pre-card. Have you even watched the cling wrap video had sex yet. What happens in it? Nothing What's the what's the final who does it who does the last one? you do For for the record for those who don't even know what I'm talking about the clean rat video is a social media video that we posted It's a science experiment to see how many layers of cling wrap you need before it works. I watched a bit. I Watched a bitch. He's talking about you I'm not a bitch He did it, baby That is all the questions for the year nearly Holy shit, man. Yeah. Wow doing that till Christmas now. Look, let's let's do the PO box because I've got a great feeling about this Can I have your beer? Yeah, well the nab or do you want to get German on alcoholic? Remember everyone so you can't say anything. Do you want to get German? Please like shake me out of the way or do you want to do unwrap? I think we do the unwrapping because the German segment takes a lot out of my soul and it just brings me back to I Don't want to get into it. He's had too many fucking relapse Exposure come we have one more thing to do too much before you open up the gifts. What's that come on? on the background right now I believe If everything works out Yeah, it's all of our rad discord member ringworms as many as we could get. I'm sorry if you didn't make Brooklyn was it Brooklyn? So Brooklyn I believe collected them And Sabrina put them all together them all because we didn't have time for it with that we we got pictures of all of our some of our premium news Just fucking and they are behind us if all goes to plan So if you point right in the middle, I think Brooklyn's big heads right there in the middle These guys are website members and then some so they're like the the the the kings of the member world Be picking someone's nose right now. Yeah girl a bit lower bit lower. Yeah there That's it. You got it. Oh Fuck off. Can I that's right? Let's open this big heavy fucking thing first Could be a glitter bomb I always get scared of the box is ready to open. I'm gonna face it away from me. Oh, it's full. Oh Mike we hit a jackpot. Dude. This is Christmas. This is the Christmas special already whole basketball cards Fucking presents This one is unnamed so this one stays here. We have a huge Toblerone block We have socks. We have socks. We have socks. We have socks four pairs of socks I'm gonna take first. I'm gonna take the drugs one. I'm gonna take the drugs one I'm gonna take the beers. I'm gonna. No, I'm not. I'm gonna take shit. I fucked up Too indecisive and now I'm left with nothing Fuck it. I'll have the fucking green thing. What do you get to I am? There's some socks brown No We have you a whole packet of pods. We have holy shit Chubby chump bites. It's like some Austin Powers shit dude. Look at all this Does it say who it's from? Matt This is a penis enlarge. I'm just gonna fucking pull this on the table. I don't know. I think so Look at all these fucking guys. Oh my god. Look at all these lollies come They know They sent this hey legends, thanks for all the laughs from Maddie Maddie fucking hell Maddie. This is like you fucking know us My favorite bean boozles jelly beans. I've been smashing these are the fucking that ones that tastes good Exactly right come to oh Wow, and then you can spin the thing and it shut tells you which one of them Yeah, look at this clouds and the clouds Strawberry clouds God damn it Hey, Matt, can you pass this to Bosley? I want to see if he likes it Is that for boss? Yeah, it says pooch treats He's sniffing it up. He's interested, but he's not sure Matt's put her on the ground in front of me He's still smelling and he's pulling away. He's not looking at it like he's trying to avoid eye contact with it He's look back. No, he's moved on again. I think he's thinking about it He's thinking about it. He has had dinner. Oh, he's gonna taste it No, no, he had a look at it and now he's turned away again. Oh, he's going in again sniffing No, he's close to tasting but he's not He's thinking about it. He's definitely thinking about it. We'll move on We'll get back to you on that if anything develops there. Yeah, that's exciting. He's very fussy. Oh, he's looking at it. Oh nice So, thank you so much. This is I'm gonna see what I got. Let me see yet. Oh, it's the mystery you won I'll open this one. Oh Oh, I always am careful not to dive my fingers straight into anything. Hey, oh Wow, it's this fucking thing you shove it in your ass and then you got a tail Oh, you become like a cat or a furry thing Gillian we can hang out together We really that's dedication. He's actually doing it do it on camera move it up. Oh Dude, he's actually putting it right in you can put that in Whoa, oh You're just clenching it, right? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, you can have that one now Oh Is there shit on it what the fuck is this what the fuck is this? Yeah, I don't know it came with the book Place on tongue white side down Are you talking to me? Do we do we do this? I don't I'm we're gonna have to I don't want to trip balls. Do this. I don't I don't think this is acid. Okay, so we do Things that make the monkey sound. Oh Here's one Gillian's gonna do it for us here Three there's a fair bit of acid on these two. So just be careful. Oh, that's a good idea. They could poison us with these Imagine if Maddie was like we're handling Gretel to her and she wanted to kill us Sorry, all right, Gillian's trying to put it in the roof of his mouth. He's trying it's falling out Goes up. It didn't work. It didn't work now He's sort of a bit bit flustered and he sounds fucking like a nerd He sounds like the things that he hates right now struggling. Yeah, he's really sort of fucking this up He's actually sort of morphing into a bit of a fortnight shit. His fingers are all shaky. He's nervous He's thinking like everyone's relying on me right now, and I can't do this He's trying it again more disgusting shit noises frowning too. No, he's trying to read my instructions Oh Just reading the instructions nearly Now he's Wow, well done, Julian We're this to job interview hey, that's Next parcel Oh, thank you, Maddie that was so good fucking how you nailed that oh my gosh shit You fucking dog That was very good Julian. What are these balloons or very small condoms? Wow, they are they miniature condoms. What do we have here? We have a shirt that says maybe yeah my golly's cure cancer That's a Wearing that to a hospital Fucking hell and you should fucking golly and cunts faces come Let's see what this one says I got gaps in me guts Very good, let's put these on baby. Let's put these on baby. All right, let's read this letter first Keep up the good shit boys. Got you boys some t-shirts. I'm sure you will be able to figure out who's is who's Also got Michael some condoms for all of his sexual encounters Thanks for the laughs Ricky Standy standoff cheers Ricky Like a legend and look at all these little miniature condoms. I Wonder so many there's a shitload of miniature condoms for Michael I'm gonna quickly pop this on so one sec She won't see And and we're back Michael looks like his mum smoked while she was pregnant with him The final package Man, it's been a good PO box so far. I wonder what this will hold Oh All right, it's a steal something steal it's for the podcast it is Remember to fucking like and comment cunt sign Wow, and if any of you remember I did say if we got sent a sign That says remember a fucking like and comment cunt. I Would show you my core I have a feeling that t-shirts not gonna work very well the green screen, but oh If it is it's gonna be the people's faces and then Oh Please it's very sorry. I had to see that kind of it. Please blow Please Next question Fuck oh my core My core Fuck that was fucked But very funny. Thank you. I'm sorry about that. I think it's good Matthew If someone sends us A $10 note Matt Brown will get his dick on only fans. It's real dick No, let's do like Yeah, these fucking lollies you fucking fuck down Matty's fucking fuck their life up These are compulsive. Did you have these these white mini white chock raspberries are? Absolutely delicious. Yeah, that's what Matty knew us. We've said that in a previous podcast So much the flavor, but the texture certainly makes me think cake as well as lolly. It's a lolly cake Oh describe it. That's a good description. Thanks, man. I've been working on that one. I I Thought okay, sorry Matt don't even to the microphone because you know how annoyed people get so far. Oh, it's not me this time It's like ASMR. What does that stand for audio sound direct remission? I must say loud eaters if you're next to them That's something that I can't stand we've missed this segment so much and we thought let's do it baby Season finale and this segment will be back for next season. There are a lot of cool segments that we will be introducing for next season I'm already more excited for next season than I am collectively for the three seasons that we've done the three seasons that we've done a Fucking shit compared to what's gonna happen next year. Do you understand? Yeah, I hate this what we're doing right now. It's like hot. We need a very warm Warm in this womb of a summer now, so Anyway, let us continue with the German Matt Brown Care to take a seat Thank you So, how do we do this again? I say it right and you have to guess what I'm saying Is that why don't we try that? That sounds like it could be a fun time You look like Logan Paul with your hair like that. Oh, yeah, you do too Julian. Get a load of this He looks like Logan Paul with his hair like this He does a bit. Hey, I actually am. Yeah, well, he had a weak Logan Paul Can you sit up? You look like a really hungry Logan Paul that like went to the wrong festival when he was 16 Or like Logan Logan Paul if his mother smoked while she was pregnant with him. Yeah, you need to sit up You can't you can't see I'm too high. You need to sit up. Oh, honestly. Oh, really? You look fucking horrible. Fucking hell Michael. You see this is what I mean season four There won't be any slouching like that slouching's fun Slouching so far that you're under the table with Julian fucking become Logan You look like a different person My fringe is down First German sentence and then this one over here is gonna have a go at telling me what it means and Matt Brown You can too. Let me say that right now I Fuck in our way very angry. No, that's just how it's pronounced. Honestly. Oh So I felt like I saw a demon. No, honestly, it's it this don't misread this Oh, so many people do these always think Germans are angry. No, it's just how it's pronounced I was speaking. I'm gonna say I opened the door for you. I'm opening a door for you Okay, what do you think Michael? It's been I am Russian It means I break together So which is something that you say when you say I can't take it So you were angry not it could have been sadness, too Yeah, or shock I can't take it I can't I can't take in what's being said. So there's many many ways you can take that in brown. Sorry Toot me a light my English is under Wait, let me say that again Toot me a light my English is under all is so All is so my English is all is so under all is so Toot me a light my English is very little toot me a light Is English is my second language toot me a light my English is under the all is so you talking To me. I'm I'm I'm not you are interrupting mine and Matthew's conversation, right? Okay, so Toot me a light my English is under all is so This is my English friend My English is very little Sorry, my English is under all pig which means sorry my English is extremely bad So Michael is better than you are I'm more German than you Okay last one and this will have brand new shit man next season man, holy shit Hmm Niemand kann dir das Wasser reißen Niemand kann dir das Wasser reißen Niemand kann dir Fucking L.A. That is harsh, but I reckon This is my castle and tower back off beast Pretty common German phrase actually so It's a good guess that I Reckon it's please don't interrupt me. Oh Wow, it translates literally to nobody can reach you the water. Oh, that's more That's like fantasy. She means nobody is as good as you I was closer. Yep water castle Michael was much closer Yeah, there's always that thought that's it in front of castles the water thing You are more German much closer than you were Matt, so Yeah 100% that makes sense and we'll be hanging out more now You tend to hang out with more German 100% you got to stick to your own Okay, so now we've got the prank calls coming which you've already filmed and then after that stick around because Brandon Novak Actually did us a solid and came on and we interviewed him and it was honestly it was quite surreal, wasn't it? Hmm, wasn't that right? Very nice time. It's got some look. He's got some great stories some interesting stuff I'm sure everyone would be able to take a little bit of something from his life experience and apply it to their own life I think I think that's the most important thing that he did We're gonna finish the season by combining two of our favorite fucking prank call ideas and Smooshing them together We love the massage parlor. We love Arnold. We love the massage places and Asking them for sexual favors and we also love Arnold fine So we're going to combine them and Arnold fine is going to see if he can get his pigs tossed and massaged Yeah, we'll start. Yeah, let's lead to that. That's great idea. So we've had what fucking Margaret's done this Darren's done this now. It's not Arnold fine time. Here we go All right, and we're starting with a prank call right now So as you're watching this towards the end of the pot, this is like the first this is big gun. We've just started filming for us It's just because it's crazy. Oh, here we go Here we go. I got a question. We got I Didn't even put my phone on private. Oh, well, that's how crazy I am right now Hopefully Hello Kevin my name Arnold fine. I just a call for massage maybe tomorrow if you free Tomorrow maybe afternoon, maybe tomorrow we haven't got anything left Okay, maybe let me think maybe a Friday. Maybe morning call something there We can do Thursday morning or Friday morning. Okay. Maybe Friday morning if possible Okay, eight o'clock. Let me see maybe 9 30 maybe 9 30 Listen listen eight o'clock. Okay. Okay. I can come eight o'clock Okay, but to listen I have small pick Rita not Brisbane one my pick is Been doing lots of running around and very tight stiff leg tight stiff leg, okay I think maybe I get the massage and I bring my pick or I pay you come to farm and massage my pick Two leg the back leg that I cannot flick around anymore. It's Stiff you understand it's like Piece of wood or stick. It's it's it doesn't does it not a band anymore? Yeah, we don't do out calls Okay, okay, maybe I bring my pick my pick is it the same price for a pick as a human But as a what as a human as a me you a human be You know a human Is it the same price for me get massage human as a same price as a pick get massage if I bring pick in You bring your pick and I'll have the place the same place here with you Excuse me numbers being sent to the police station now excuse me why why are you speak to me like that, huh? Well, why you speak to me like that? I only ask if I bring my picking you only bring your pick Yeah, my I ask if you do pick you say you do not to call out and I say I bring my pick in Why you tell police what you're doing, huh? Well, you go get your pickings and stick your cock up its ass and don't ring us as you a man in Arnold's fine, okay? I know That's the same guy that you wanted as Darren to get tossed off from Yeah, you've just rung the same one I figured that a half way through whoa He was angry I Haven't got it on private bang that happens. He can't do shit. What call the cops up Yes, some dude said he's gonna bring a pig into my side. I think he's bluffing but fuck now I can't call him back though. That's all right Cuz if I even if I do call back on a private number he'll he has my original number now Okay, how about since it's the finale we do to and we try another massage pile. Yeah Yeah, we'll try me to get your fake tan places My name Arnold fine. I look Google for massage and you come up. I think maybe you have time Thursday or Friday for massage Yes, we do. Okay. Okay. What time you have morning? Morning go mid-mid-morning. It doesn't matter flick flicking around Yep, so on Thursday, we could do an 8 a.m. Or 9 15 Okay, maybe 9 15 would be good for me for one hour. You do one hour massage Yeah, so do you just want to book in a remedial massage for an hour? Okay, I'm meeting Me to me to me to me to massage Yes, it's a normal massage Yes, that is a clinical massage. Okay. Okay. Now listen, I have a strange Request I I have a small pig farm North Brisbane. I breed pig and One pig he is stiff stiff leg. He cannot walk around With the other pig he fall over. He like a stiff Understand is stiff leg all four. So I I think to myself bring a pig For the massage then only the back leg for the massage in so I get Massage and then the pick the back leg Just a maybe 10 15 a minute to get some of the No, no, no extra no extra. I only want a normal Remedial Massage for me and then maybe 10 15 remedial massage for my pick For my pick my Animal I a breed pick pick farmer Like a like a pork like a pork you understand It is the same thing it's same thing a human pick it I massage pick usually but my arthritis Flare up and my wife is sick. So the pick is Steve. It is Steve leg and the butcher It will not buy a stiff peak So we cannot massage I hold the head of the peak I have done many time before and you maybe 10 15 minute Work the leg until they start at a band again, and then I sell quickly sell it No, we cannot offer a massage for an animal it I pay some price Okay, you you force my hand. Okay, I pay a full price one hour You give my pick maybe 15 minute outside. Okay, not even in the massage room Okay outside in the car park We cannot massage a pick it's against our massage guideline your massage guideline Maybe need to rewritten I see a stiff pick all over Brisbane. I even see a stiff horse Last week it could not work wet too expensive Too much money the vet that are flicking around my credit card my wife is sick So I bring the pick to the car park. What's the problem? I give you money for our you come outside and massage the pick which I'm I Need you to understand this we cannot massage a pink that is is against the math add to guidelines and we could lose our license Guidelines my line or look here. I give you money You know how massage you come outside and massage a pig in car park car park massage does not fall on the guideline it It's just a stranger patting on my pig if anyone ask I have said no What if you're going to can you to push this? Then I'm going to hang up. Okay. Okay. We'll listen here. Okay. How about I bring a pic Okay, I bet only 50 kilo with a little pic. I show you the paint that I'm going to hang up So I'm going to please don't know my wife is sick. Please. What about a massager for me? Oh She had a little giggle at one point she couldn't believe it Anyone can't fucking believe that that's guess where that massage parlor was Where 40 60 till I fucking die Just like listening to our little fun talk a I just want you to be on or fine and that concludes Season number three. Julie. Can you can you get the beers? We have bought non-alcoholic beers just for this special occasion. We're about to start the podcast But we're signing out right now because we do the prank or cheers it to sign off and then we'll have it open at the beginning Oh, it's gonna be time. Oh my god, baby. These are you can come on a lap, mate Come over here Matthew Brown and Matt Brown. We all get a beer get a beer, mate These are non-alcoholic beers everyone. I've never had one. So it's Tastes like Another season done next season where we'll be back for our biggest year yet It's getting bigger and better. Thank you to everyone who watched we fucking love you these podcast Is the greatest fucking thing in the world because we Tonight is the first night of the rest of our lives boys. Oh, that tastes weird. Hmm. Hey Brandon. Can you hear us, dude? What up man, what up Brandon how I am a but finally we got So hey, you're being mad. What's what's what's the latest? Well, we've seen that you know We obviously follow you on social media. We've seen you got the book out You're doing a lot of our motivational Talking and stuff like that. What's what's taken up most of your time at the moment? Fuck all of it It all takes up my time. It's it's completely consuming. It's It's tiresome. It's it's it's rewarding. It's it's everything wrapped into one It's like a fucking it's like a big speedball a heroin and cocaine except like the Bridey and untreated alcoholism trying to help people I'm blessed and like my life the reality of my life is so rad and so like magical that for 20 some years my life literally consisted of Finding ways and means to get more drugs drugs alcohol Awake that's all I did was use partake sleep I dream about it like just consumed with drugs and alcohol and then I get sober and And the irony of it is is that now like my life is completely consumed by drugs and alcohol Just as much as it was before I got sober except the only difference today is that I don't use and I get paid really well from them Yeah, that's funny because you know, we watch we had not Nothing like your experience, but we're through our 20s We were like off the rails as well just getting fucked up all the time Helped us to you know film the stunts and the painful videos and stuff and then sort of towards the end of our Like I'm 32 now Michael's 31 just recently maybe like a year ago We sort of realized that it was like yeah very very unhealthy the root will go on down And so now where we're not completely sober We might you know have a party every three months or something and smoke a bit of weed every now and then But we've completely changed our Relationship with alcohol and drugs as well. What do you reckon for you was the thing? Well, like what was the hardest about about going sober and then staying sober for you for me At the end a lot of things just aligned right like I had attempted to get sober so many times so many different ways And I don't look at any of those attempts as failures Even if I like went to treatment and I left early or if I got high in treatment because what happened is like there was a seed planet at every one of those attempts and and What I've learned is in like my life is in retrospect live forward and learn backwards and Now having remained sober for coming up on seven years and finally done like having done a lot of the internal work that was required It's very easy for me to look back and recognize the Synchronicity and life's events that have led me to the here and now That proved to me that I was having all these spiritual experiences along the way But I was just capable of seeing them and and for me what that looked like and you're right Like you guys are doing your thing you drink you smoke you do a little bit Whatever and then you have a life that you you love and you feel like it's worth waking up every day for right like My way is not the only way your ways not there's all these different ways to it And I'm just a big fan of people being happy in their lives But for me, I kind of partake with complete abstinence because I I've tried to like just smoke her I've tried to just drink wine and and my story is I always kind of return back to where it all began Which is like sticking a needle in my arm and fucking prostituting my body and doing all this ungodly shit So so for me at 38, you know I had literally like done that thing till the wheels fell off and I've had some of the best times of my life Partying right like things that I think of to this day and I'm like God I'd be so amazing to go back to that time or that experience with those people But my party ended a long time ago and I lost the ability to like to leave I lost the ability to leave that party and go home. It kind of like took me captive and it Took away my choice Or choices of what I would or would not do and and then the reality I wanted to stop for a long time and I just was I was unable to to stop right? I wasn't willing to do what it would take to ultimately Get to where I wanted to go which was complete abstinence and freedom And I just you know, like I got to a point where no matter how much heroin I put in my arm or or cocaine I shot or or pills I ate like Prior to that this delusional effect would always be produced without fail Which means that the drug and the alcohol works because it would allow me to escape the reality that I had created for myself Right, so I could be homeless get a big fucking shot of heroin and now not only am I able to allow myself to escape this reality? It's not only like tolerable or manageable. It's almost like desirable, right? And and and I got to a point where no matter how much drugs I did or alcohol I drank That that delusional effect was no longer being produced and and I was having that moment of clarity whether I was high or sober So I could no longer like it stopped fucking work I no longer had that escape from the terrible reality that I created for myself And I got to a point where like I had also tried to get sober so many times that I could no longer Deny the severity of my disease and and and having tried it so many times and failing but seeing other people succeed I was like, you know what like maybe the common denominator in my problem is me And maybe if I get the fuck out of my way and follow some suggestions from some people that seem to know because they're staying sober Maybe I have a fucking shot, you know, and I kind of like to say I dumbed my way into it So all these different things how many did you end up how many rehabs did you end up doing in the end? It was over 10 right like 15 13 Inpatient Yeah, so as you said each time you sort of a plus seed was planted and you got like But but I didn't even realize that that was taking place at the time drugs and alcohol I always underestimated it because I possessed this job that consisted of knowing everything right so like when you suggested what I Should do to maybe better my life. I suggest why you should fuck off because I know and ultimately 825 2015 after waking up on life support for seven days You know, my mother had bought me a plot people had taken life insurance policies out on me I had been medivac to four different hospitals and four different states from four different overdoses My mother had sold three homes to pay for me to go to two different treatment centers I found myself like as a homeless heroin addict standing on the corner letting men suck my dick just to get another bag of heroin and I'm like This is no longer acceptable these behaviors. I no longer condone them and Maybe you know what I do know is that I don't fucking know and that's when it all I'm like I'm my problem if I get out of my way and and remain open-minded just long enough to be willing to follow your suggestions It kind of snowball affected and and within my coming up on seven years got willing may have had a pretty even Even fucking rise. So now would you say your general well-being is just like You never knew it could be this good or is it, you know, what's it like? You know, I see people I'm a fucking interventionist, right? So I'll go do these interventions on people that are like heroin addicts cocaine everything that I used to be and I'll end up with like Fucking bundles of heroin in my hand and cocaine and and and and the very last thought in my mind is like I could slice a fucking line and nobody would know right like because the reality is I had a spiritual experience and the definition of a spiritual experience is simply a psychic change Meaning that I no longer think today like I thought May 25th walking in the 13th treatment center I'm like a completely changed man rewired from top to bottom and Now I've I really I always say sobriety has given me everything drugs and alcohol ever promised me And I mean that right I'm 42 years old and I'm getting ready to put out a video part skateboarding video part. This is my best video part that I've ever put out in my life. I Fucking ran a five mile marathon the other day. I work out four days a week I quit smoking. I don't drink I I just like eat really healthy and and I'm into like really simple things that that bring me joy Like everything my ex fiancees tell me like don't you like when a fucking smell the flowers and and and feel the sunlight And I'm just like fuck you I Get off on like health and wellness and and going to the dentist and going to the doctors because now I've been afforded the opportunity to have a life that I believe is worth sticking around for and I love And it wasn't like that before it wasn't that I didn't love my life because I had a really rad life prior to sobriety What take it back to say fucking for anything? But now it's nice to know that like People can depend and rely on me, you know and and and I'm like a really good man I pride myself on not lying not stealing not cheating You know just just trying to be the best human I can be Helping my brothers and sisters out, you know and and my life is really fucking easy. It's it's happy. It's it's simplistic You know, yeah, that's awesome. Well, we've watched you You know, we obviously grew up watching Jackass and and all that and so watching you you know because yeah You could see even in in some of the you know in a lot of the footage shot there that you were in a bad way Just so to see you come out the other side. It's it's good to you know, it's it's awesome to see basically It's and and Steve I was well same shit, you know, it's very inspirational to see That that you guys just turn your lives around. Yeah, you can get from one extreme to the other. Yeah, anything Yeah, literally, you know, and yeah, it's no secret my best friend Bam He's going through his issues right now and and I believe that I was kind of Taken down the path. I was taken down to be better equipped to help my brother out, you know I mean roles a little bit, you know, because Ben was always was trying to help you and then You know, I obviously and now now you got it's like roles reversal muscle, but you know It's complete role reversal and and it's what better person for for the roles to be reversed with like I understand it Then you know, I don't ask me how to put how to conduct brain surgery. I have no idea Don't ask me how to fucking prepare your taxes. I don't know but you know, I know two things. I know Druga, I know Alcoholism and addiction and I know skateboarding through and through so like, you know now He's a sick man separate thing with a disease that like He's kind of incapable of fixing on his own and I know more so than most what that feels like So I show up to be a friend to my friend and you know and My defects have become my assets. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's good on you mate. It's good to see your help man Yeah, and I've seen that yeah with your skateboarding like would you say you're at your best that you've ever been now since you skate? Yeah, is it I think so Saying to stay at 42. I'm telling you at 42. I'm in the best shape I've ever been in physically mentally spiritually financially, you know I'm aces across the board man like here. I've got better with time where usually it's the opposite, you know Man your contents great too. I've been loving the nostalgia going back and looking at you reflecting on all the moments It's really cool Yeah, so we have I have a documentary coming out because I'm been owns to to me or us should I say We were filming a documentary about my life for the better part of 23 years and we had no idea Booming the CQY's we were filming the Viva La Bams and and everything was documented, right? And there was special kind of given to me with my addiction and bam was always strangely fascinated with it So there were always cameras rolling and then like way down the road This production company came to me and they said hey And I was at a really bad point in my life and they said hey Would you be interested in doing a documentary about your life? And all I heard them say is we'll give you cash on hand for interviews, right? And that just meant lots of harrowing right so so there wasn't a but it died calm every day like let's film Let's do I'd bug the fuck out of them to film And and After like three or four years of just this roller coaster ride of not really going anywhere They had a secret meeting that I was not privy to and they're like, okay How do we guide and direct the ending of this documentary with his death because that's kind of what everyone's expecting? and I Kind of was able to not only defy odds, but logic and I not only got sober But I stayed sober and the ending of this like took on a life of its own and Yeah, so we've just We've just filming it. So you mean you're like tiger king? Yeah, yeah So it's like similar to that But Full pot series or is it a fusion? I'm not sure we haven't gotten to the distribution part of it yet. I completely financed the project and um And and it's like all the real-time footage of the real events that There's no like fucking voiceovers or pictures of like, oh here. He was here doing it. It's like the legit footage When's that coming out? so Franz which is the creator of cky's and He the footage the project got really big and it kind of lost hands and it got shelved a few times And I kind of gave up hope and I'm like fuck it. It's So we see the light of day and and and And as a grace of God somehow like new contracts were drawn new people were brought in and Franz Who's my co-author to my books who we've worked together for years? He can like finish the sentence he ended up as the the editor on this project So he's now editing all this footage and uh, I can't think of a better person to do that And that was not his plans or any of ours. It just kind of happened that way Have you um, have you seen any of the new the new jackass movie coming out? He says yeah, it's great man from what I've seen and what I've heard about from the fellas It's absolutely amazing and and they knocked out of the park and I can't really get too much into it But uh, it's gonna be something uh something special Also, we're looking forward to that too. What's it? So we had a few fan questions coming in as well Um, a lot of people wanted to know what's the what's the most the most fucked up the crazy stun that you've ever done that you can recall crazy one, I would say was probably Uh, do do falls Dude, if you didn't have a helmet on that would have been here dead. I broke all my ribs. I got a concussion with Were you fucked up when that happened or were you sober? But not as fucked up as I would have liked to have been Make sure that I break literally every one of my ribs except one I was pushing on with a helmet Um, and you didn't even want to wear the helmet originally, right? Oh my god Adam and when they're taking me to the hospital A fucking warrant pops up and they show up to the hospital to arrest me and then take me to jail Where I have to sit for fucking three days until I bow out I remember the story. Yeah all while withdrawing from my original drug of choice, which was heroin Oh my god, man's concussion That's so far oh man, can you elaborate on the story maybe for the audience about you breaking in To a gas station Yeah, and there was like a blizzard. Can you tell us the story please? Yeah, I made it I So there's a few pretty Fucking funny claims of fame that I have that most people would cringe at the thought of The first one and I'm not really gonna get into it But I did when I was really out of my mind and just completely strung out I did a porn and and and I was totally strung out on on heroin at the time and when you're You know addicted to opiates. You really don't have a sex drive at all And if you do you can't come for anything and so I'm doing this porn and I can't come forever and like everyone's lost interest in And finally they call in the big guns and I have a fucking stunt cock come in and come for me Pretty close it's the one thing that I regret that I would take back in my life Which is doing a porn but on the flip side of the coin. I had a stunt cock and not many people The other claim of fame is that I made it into the world's dumbest criminals Unintentionally pretty cool story actually so I'm in Baltimore and I'm strung out and and I had this girlfriend at the time and she breaks up with me And she ends up with this other guy and This other guy's a really good guy, but He has a lot of money and and and he's now living in the house where I used to live and I'm sick one day So I decided to break into the house knowing that like if something went bad They couldn't prove it because I was living there like a week before so like of course my fingerprints will be everywhere and whatever So so I go in I break into the house and I'm up in the bedroom. I'm looking around and and I find um $13,000 so I take the 13 grand And I go to the projects right like four blocks up and I stay in the projects for like three weeks And I blow through the 13 grand drug dealers coming to the house every day just shooting tons of heroin and cocaine And right towards the end of that the guy got word of of who stole his money And and he was a an Italian fellow and he was a pretty serious guy And and he physically Financially paid $10,000 to put a hit out on me to like legit have me killed But he also When the money came up missing my ex-girlfriend called the police and said Brandon broke in here and stole this money right so the police came and um And they they said he stole 13 thousand dollars. So it was grand theft over Over whatever it was b&e all these different charges So I have these charges now. He's paid $10,000 to have me killed like legit and um a buddy of mine Caused me and he said so and so Is is serious and there's people looking for you and you're gonna get hurt really bad And and I know what you're doing So you better take me up on this offer meet me here. I'm gonna take you to the grayhound bus station I'm gonna buy you a one-way ticket to gunnison, colorado So if you do your geography, which is not my strong suit, but it's really easy to look at this If you look at baltimore maryland, and then you look at gunnison, colorado It's literally fucking the farthest tip north that you can go And he takes me to the grayhound bus station and he buys me a one-way bus ticket And I have no money on me And I have to now ride this grayhound bus for eight days making all these connections To make it there All while going through heroin withdrawal just completely fucking throwing up shit myself pissing myself worried that like These hit men are gonna get me. I can't even buy a fucking candy bar. I have no doubt. I blew on everything and um I finally get to colorado And my buddy this this pretty big weed dealer takes me in And lets me live with him and and i'm still a heroin addict, but out there Far up in the mountains. There's no heroin. I can get cocaine like party drugs because it's like a ski resort town But no heroin or pills like fucking oxy cotton So I get a job at this diner and i'm washing dishes and Whatever little money I get I buy cocaine because i'm a drug addict And even though I can't get heroin I gotta do something and and then one day this this Woman comes into the the restaurant. She said I just got this script of xanax filled and i'm like fuck. Yeah Buy them all so I buy them all And it's really little town And and there's one gas station in the whole town And and i'm staying up the mountain across from the ski resort So there's like a little hitching post at this gas station where you like hitch if you don't want to wait for the bus I finished work. I bought her script of xanax. I've eaten about 12 to 15 at this point And i'm at the bus. Yeah, how long did you eat? Like right out of eight. It was like fucking six and then another six, you know gratification because I had been Jonesing for some downers for so long. I just couldn't get it in me quick enough So so I go to the bus stop and i'm like trying to hitch a ride and it dawns on me that i'm cold And it's like 10 30 at night There's one police station in town with like three cop cars. It's a very little small mom and pop type town And I don't remember being at the hitching post But what I do remember is is is looking at the gas station and saying that I was cold So i'm walking over to the gas station and above the gas station are apartments And I I don't remember it but I walk over to the gas station And I pick a big rock up and I throw the rock through the main part and I go at the gas station And I steal cigarettes alcohol cash And for whatever reason meadows those candies meadows And I don't remember leaving the gas station But I walk back out and i'm back at the hitching post and and at this point the alarms going off on the gas station The people that live above it are out on the balcony looking down. I remember this And the windows busted. I'm standing at the hitching post. I'm like In my mind. I totally remember this. I'm like the damage is done. I'm freezing. It's warm in there I'm just going to go back in and steal more shit And when I go in to steal more shit I keep in the fucking gas station A few hours later a police officer shows up and he says Son, did you break into this gas station? And I'm like officer, what are you talking about? I've been in my bed all night and he's like you fucking moron. You're covered in glass in the gassy So it picked me up. It picked me to jail And it's about It's about six. It's about two months into my sentence 60 days in and I'm like right next to mexico Right, like it's right mexico is kind of right there and and all these Mexican inmates and and people that I don't know because I'm from baltimore They're like, ah, you stupid motherfucker. You dumb mother. They're all calling me stupid and dumb out of nowhere I'm like, what the fuck and then finally a ceo comes to me. He said You didn't know that you made world's dumbest criminals And they have footage of me falling asleep in the gas station Holy well at least she made the show And then oddly enough at that gas station. It was on my instagram story. I put it out too long ago My id is still hanging in the gas station. They took it and like hang have it hanging up A little shrine of brandon nova I'm trying to connect with them to go out to interview them for the documentary, but It just I don't know. It didn't work out, but I could do it. I just Yeah Oh, but that's the cool part about it is the guy that I ripped off for the 13 000 and ran to colorado So so so so now i'm arresting in colorado, right? And all of a sudden my warrants pop up from baltimore from the breaking and entering in the grand theft But they're not willing to pay for the extradition because it's not worth it, right? They're not going to fly me back to like fucking just deal with it yourself. Whatever Short story long I end up getting sober And and the guy lives in little italy in baltimore and so does my mother Right and every time I would go back to baltimore He would get word that I was there and I'd have these big like goons fucking Looking for me and and a couple times they caught up with me and beat me up pretty bad And I worked at 12 steps of alcoholics anonymous and the ninth step is making amends Right making our wrongs, right? And and and I I called that guy Right and I said Hey, it's it's brandon and and if it's okay with you, I'd like to meet you and talk to you Now keep in mind he paid ten thousand dollars to have him killed Like legit not just like trying to sound fucking cool. It's like serious And he said, okay. Yeah, meet me and so he came with a place to meet And we go to the I go to meet him and I said, you know, I went to treat man I'm sober. I'm working these steps and one of my steps is the ninth step making my wrongs, right? And and it's my job to to a Tell you what I did take responsibility for my action ask you if there's anything that I left out Right and then pay you back the money that I stole from you and I hand them 3000 at the time and and he said I don't want your money He said I've already forgiven you He said what you don't know is I became an alcoholic and I've pretty much pissed most of my career And and bar that I owned down the drains and I just got out of rehab Two days ago and he said as a matter of fact today I was going to drink again And then when you called out of nowhere, I took it as like a sign from god Whatever the case is and I didn't drink And that guy and I have become like this And he's got like over over now You know Yeah Yeah Yeah, we'll have to we'll have to wrap about any more questions or is that oh man I like yeah, you can listen to your stories all day, dude Yeah, if you ever come to australia, let us know we'll go have a buddy tea or a coffee or something and um Get some content going maybe for your collaborations. I love I love that or vice versa. You come to the states, but but definitely And if anybody Out there wants to check out my shit or what I have going on instead of just kind of talking about each one you could just go to To www.brandandnovac.com It's all one word and that's my website and it takes you to all my stuff if you give a No, we'll put a link in the description because I'm pretty sure You know, there are a lot of our fans who um have an unhealthy relationship with drugs and alcohol as well So it's always good. It's always good to chuck it out for out there for those struggling Yeah, appreciate you coming on mate. Thank you so much. Yeah Guys, we're doing it. I'm grateful that you even thought that uh, I'd be interesting enough to talk to so thank you I'm gonna set you up. Yeah, thanks brandon fans mate. Yeah, keep doing what you're doing Appreciate it boys