"8th Grade: Getting a girl"





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Published on Jul 20, 2008

This story was written by a 7th grade boy, attending a Fairfield County private school. His name will remain anonymous. The video is not really supposed to be humorous, although there is laughing in the background. I was going for more of the documentary vibe.

Here is the original story:

"8th Grade."
Getting a girl
Alright, so you just graduated 7th grade. Congrats. 8th grade holy shit? Big boy time. Now that you're in big nigga ballah status, the younger generation looks up to you. When you're in lunch always look at the 7th and 6th grade girl table and wink at girls because both you and they know you're the fucking shit. This will make your confidence go way up. Now, go up to the hottest fucking chick in junior high and start spittin that hot shit nigga. "Hey whats up?" "I gotta friend who likes you :-)" Next, continue letting her think you really have a friend then get her screenname. It's way easier to talk to girls on AIM or myspace I mean come on. Are you a fucking street douche? This isn't the 50's. Girls have computers and can now wear pants. Dick. Sign on to your devilbat81 --esque screenname and start spittin that crazy shit. Say your friends name is a name similar to yours. If your name is Roger, you're a fucking douche, but anyway, say his names Poger. Get it? Then she'll be like oh yeah. Then fucking cast level 3: erotica and she'll be on your cock. FOR REAL. "I'm ready to take our relationship to the next level."

Alright, now you got the bitch. GJ GJ. Cunt. Now, here comes the shit. DROPIIN BAWMS. Alrgiht, kissing. Holy shit cooties? No you fuck. You're in 8th grade you pompous bitch. Kissing comes easy, don't be a bitch about it. Kiss the nigga all the time. Then when she's comfy wit it yo, feel her tit. Don't squeeze. Bitches git cancer. Aight, now what you always want to remember is never let the bitch give you a hickie. It's such an awkward situation when your bitch is sucking on your neck and you don't have anything else to do but sit and stare and not move. Fuck that. And if you get one, someones bound to see it somewhere, which is awkward because it's always made fun of. Never bragged about. You're not gonna get any farther in 7th grade, so fuck you.

Breaking up
OMG! OMG! Is the bitch getting to you yet? Yeah, thats what I fucking thought. Fuck you, toy. Gurgle my dick you 8th grade piece of shit. K, when you wanna dump the slut, always write a note and get your friend to give it to her friend. Don't be anywhere near the location of the delivery of the note or receiving of break up. Awkward my nigga. What sucks about grade school is that you always see the bitch. Avoid the slut as much as possible, even on the playground. In gym class, always look away when the kid picking teams has already picked the girl. Oh and get all the black kids to fuck her up.


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