 We can then predict the behavior and then we can make better choices Because the reality is is these days people are making terrible choices and sadly I am witnessing All right, we're gonna talk about those seven things that show a man. You have class quite frankly This is true for men and women alike. This isn't singular to one gender Before I start today though I have a confession to make and I feel like I've been thinking about this a lot lately and I often times wonder If being a realist and I'd like to think I'm a realist in other words I'm sharing my perceptions my opinions from a from a perspective of realism to am I a pessimist in other words am I Exposing the dating process in a negative light and what I mean to say is I Recognize that human beings are rather dysfunctional. They are rather messed up And it certainly seems that way in the dating mating or relating process In fact, I believe the number one emotional health issue for most humans are I'm not good enough I'm not lovable and I'm not likable and so and I think dating triggers that like nobody's business So I wonder if you know the other day one of the one of you the followers here asked a question What are the odds of actually Experiencing a juicy delicious healthy happy relationship and I said that the odds are rather slim I mean almost saying ridiculously slim and I'm wondering if that sounds like a pessimist now People are meeting all the time They are falling in what they believe to be love and I use the word believe to be love and people are engaging in Relationships all the time so it's not as if people aren't forming relationships and I'm talking about men and women in particular So it's not that but I also recognize that there's a lot of dysfunctionality in the dating realm and there's a lot of humans who are Riddled riddled with childhood wounds and traumas and adult traumas that makes them rather Dysfunctional in the dating process. So I asked myself. Is it realistic? Am I being realistic by sounding like a pessimist? Well, my hope is you all believe My hope is that I'm looking at this from a perspective of realism in other words The realism from the perspective of the fantasy that many of us were sold with and while these days You know we can quote the Disney movies and the Cinderella's I mean that seems like such a that seems like eons ago But certainly movies like the notebook and serendipity and such makes it seem like in romantic comedy seems like oh It's just naturally easy to form a relationship And yet I'm gonna say it's nothing easy. There's nothing easy about this process of dating mating or relating There's nothing easy about the fact that we now use our devices That were never used in the past To form a relationship and I oftentimes wonder if technology is Making it worse than making it better Now I say that because I think there's two sides of the coin roughly about I Think we are gonna reach a point where 80% of all new relationships are gonna happen through these devices in other words Meeting let me reframe that roughly I believe in the near future It's gonna be roughly 80% of all new relationships are formed are gonna happen through an online connection Now it doesn't have to be a dating app It could be any form of online connection could include Facebook it can include Instagram it gosh It could include tick-tock for all I know so I believe that that's gonna be the norm and we're already at 50% already But because of technology, there's two sides of the coin There's the benefit of access to people and at the same time It's the it's becoming the pellet for the hamster You know for the mouse to grab the pellet grab the pellet grab the pellet So there is a huge dysfunctionality within the process itself and then add to that human beings dysfunctionality So is that pessimism or is that realism? Well, interestingly enough in the last two weeks, I've gotten four phone for messages I should say not phone calls but messages from clients who have worked with me in the last nine or ten months One of which who got engaged and she sent me a picture of her and her guy and then another one I'm so excited. She gave me permission to share this But she went through my coaching program and she met a really great guy and she knows the difference And I want to show you a picture of those two. I swear he looks like I think he looks like math Matt LeBlanc and she says he's told he looks like Michael Douglas so Great-looking couple in midlife and that's just one of four Success stories. I've heard in the from my clientele just in the last two weeks So I know that it's possible. I think it's just really important to recognize At least what I teach in my private coaching by the way There's a link below to schedule a discovery call with me to see if working with the coach is right for you is I'm all about Prequalifying your prospect pre-qualifying your prospect in other words before you go on a date ask some really important questions Just to determine if you're on the same page with someone and it's piggybacks the work that's taught by listen I know many of you don't like the dating site e harmony But the person who started the site Neil Warren Neil Clark Warren wrote a book called two dates Two dates or less and the idea here is he's picked out 25 key areas of compatibility and I'm a big proponent of trying to let's see if we're on the same page before we we meet together because if you do meet and There's chemistry. There's compatibility and there's chemistry ignited. You've got a much better chance and supposedly and again I'm not endorsing the website, but I'm endorsing the philosophy that Compatibility ignited with chemistry equals relationship success. Many of you know my relationship iceberg I say it and almost every video merely to illustrate a point. We have all adopted this belief that chemistry equals relationship success You're probably going Jonathan. What does this have to do with class? I'll get to that in a moment. Trust me I'm gonna get to that in a moment Chemistry equals relationship success and yet why do relate why are so everybody who has this amazing chemistry? Oh my god, we had the most amazing chemistry I've never had chemistry like this before but we don't share the same values our lifestyles don't work out and worse I'm with somebody who's an emotional train wreck folks Compatibility is about shared values blendable lifestyles and emotional maturity. It's not just about chemistry So I'm here to say That it's important. That's what coming back to the point. Am I a pessimist? Am I a realist? Am I an optimist? You know my philosophy is this the more information we know The better we can predict behavior when we understand something we can predict behavior and when we can predict behavior We can make better choices write that down when we understand something and I'm talking about human behavior We can then predict the behavior and then we can make better choices Because the reality is is these days people are making terrible choices and sadly I Am witnessing women going on a lot of first dates that go nowhere I'm witnessing a lot of women who have had short-lived Encounters with men that don't go anywhere and yes because of all this the odds of success are becoming much slimmer So what do you want to do to put the odds in your favor? Start to pre-qualify your prospect and I'm a big believer of something called radical honesty Put your cards on the table right from the get-go, but Josh the never-dating click tells me that's like an interview And it's gonna scare a guy away Look, you only scare the people that are either not capable of being in a relationship or not ready for a Relationship or that they're not attracted to you. I'm gonna repeat that. They're not capable They're not ready or they're not attracted to you So do you even want to invest time with those people because the reality is is with swipe dating, you know It's harder to feel attracted when we see nothing but garbage out there I mean, I look at some of the the photographs from people out there and it is absolute garbage what I see I'm trying to find something. I took a picture the other day No disrespect to this person, but this was their first photograph like really you think that's going to That's gonna go. Oh my god. I want to swipe on that person, you know, and that's just one example of hundreds Let me show you another one. That's their first photograph Look it Look it. I'm not saying you can't meet people with masks on thankfully the mask mandate here in Los Angeles has been lifted I get to go out tonight without wearing my mask. I'm so excited So so let's let's put better Representations of ourselves if we're going and if 80% of people are gonna be meeting this way then put together a great Representation of yourself. It's not that hard Blurry pictures fish the middle finger, you know three ten people in the photo and you can't figure out who it is I mean, this is the kind of crap we're dealing with and we wonder why dating is so fucking dysfunctional Maybe because garbage in he's garbage out All right, so let's talk about Class, you know what I looked up the definition of class I don't want to read this to you because I thought it was kind of interesting having class class involves good manners politeness cried without showboating empathy humility and an abundance of self control The actions of Class act people's actions speak louder than words. So and I thought okay, I couldn't just shared all that with you And that was the you know the the broadcast But I'm also reflecting on people today One of the elements of class and this isn't one of the seven. I'm gonna share is Actually treating people with fucking respect You know because you're meeting strangers today, there's an absolute level of disrespect with people I mean just an absolute treating people by the way, you were It seems to me people are more likely to treat the grocery clerk The valet and a restaurant or a stranger that needs their door open while walking into a building Then the actual respect we treat by connecting people through these devices It is and by the way, let's not even get into micro ghosting and ghosting in and of itself disappearing in communication it is really saddens me because We think oh, well, they're just a stranger to us. We don't know them. So we can treat them disrespectfully And I'm partially guilty of this. So I I'm gonna take ownership. I I have worked very hard in the last four years to Especially since Connor passed away is to really operate with as much integrity as I'm possibly capable of doing and Forgoing bad behavior for the tougher thing and that's stepping into Maybe by being honest with someone it might hurt their feelings even though and I mean, I'm using this as an example You know when I'm not just that into someone Being upfront about it saying, you know, I think you're a great person I'm just not feeling the energetic connection with us and I'm gonna disengage with communication that to me feels like I'm an Integrity now I may not have done that years ago But I'm doing my best and my invitation is for everyone else because just because they're a stranger and never see them again I believe karma bites us in the butt and believe me my butt must be bitten up like a fucking Let's not go down that road. Like I've been eaten by alligators A lot of that is my own self Sabotage that I'm talking about not necessarily disrespecting others But it's really sad how I witnessed men and women alike and by the way, I know you ladies like to point the finger at guys You like to point the finger at guys by the way every time you're pointing a finger There's three fingers pointing back at you and by the way, all the guys are pointing the finger at you ladies I mean it if you ladies since my audience is predominantly women if you spent time on men's forums Listening to them talking about women and these men spent time on your forums that you're talking about men Do you ever wonder why it's a fucking clutch shit show out there? Because men and women aren't talking with one another You know one of the things I really appreciate about a woman named Allison Armstrong who has what's called the PAX program She puts a hundred men and women in a room and saying all right Let's roll up our sleeves and let's talk about the shit we're dealing with in the dating mating and relationship realm And you know if it would be and by the way, I'm so grateful that men are now following my channel In fact, one guy is so he's been following my channel using my advice and he said last week The other day he's like he's in a relationship with someone using the tech the things that I talk about All right, I've been rambling on it's the 15 minute mark Let's talk about those seven things that Indicate men and women have class. Okay, not women men and women I think one of the first things is to be respectful with respects to telephone and text communication And it saddens me to even say this but this fucking bullshit game of playing hard to get taking your time To respond not to seem too eager not to seem like you're chasing fucking I'm a type of person when someone texts me. I like to respond as quick as possible. So I get it off I get it off my mental plate for one But the way people are treating one another is such disrespect which is a lack of class So here's my invitation will you make up? Will you raise your hand on these seven things? I'm sharing and number one start being respectful when it comes to the use of the telephone or text message Just like you would your boss. Okay, if you're gonna treat your boss with respect if Then do the same for the person you might be communicating with and this is right from the very get-go the first person you swipe with and number and a piggyback on that is I Think it's such I can't stand women and men who abbreviate the words like you YOU they just put the you or they abbreviate things because it's easier for them You know, I I just think that lacks class So that's just me, you know, you have to judge for yourself Maybe class for you is just manners and and using what fork you're supposed to use at the you know at the dinner table You know, I could care less of what fork you use But I do appreciate people that are respectful when it comes to the telephone and text communication number two Bad mouthing your ex bad mouthing a past relationship to me. That's low class You know what? I don't care how bad your past relationship was if you hyper focus on what was wrong with them and you take no Ownership taking ownership in your part is class Bad mouthing your past Relationships and I don't care how bad you think it was there's always two sides to a coin or a situation So I think it just lacks class. That's listen everybody. This is my point of view. You don't have to agree with it I'm just sharing with you from my perspective number three. I think this demonstrates so much class is Listening to the other person and acknowledging what they said Oh, you mean Jonathan listening to what the other person and acknowledging what they said. Yes That is class Acknowledging by the way humans are so quick to respond instead of listen and Acknowledge and this is true right from the get go with text communication I can't stand people that I acknowledge like I might say a compliment to a woman and they don't even acknowledge that I gave them a compliment at least a thank you or I appreciate that but they go immediately Or it's more like this I mean, this is the kind of crap We're dealing with because humans don't know how to listen and acknowledge if you're not familiar with the book Nonviolent communication by Marshall Rosenberg fucking by this book There's a link below to Jonathan recommends books and learn how to communicate better and there's another great book I've been reading now It's called I hear you By Michael Sorenson the surprising simple skills behind extraordinary relationship This is all learning how to communicate better Folks if you're a single looking for love half of the problem is you you don't know how to communicate Most couples have terrible communication skills. By the way, here's a good book couples communication guy and How to build trust in a relationship because what's missing today is a lot of trust because humans have terrible Relationship skills most humans do Listen and acknowledge communication number four I think it's a lot of class when a person has done personal development self-help and spiritual work Oh, is that a time for a plug for your book? Yes, it is Jonathan My book what the heck a self-love anyway a journey of personal development self-help and spiritual work when a person loves Themselves that is so much class and I don't mean they walk by a mirror and go. Oh, look at how wonderful Okay, that's narcissists right narcissists comes from narcissists. He fell in love with his reflection I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about loving oneself to have standards and boundaries in your life So you don't you don't give your power away to another human being and sadly so many of you women Give your power away to men. It saddens me so much It saddens me so much Number five Some of you might like this some of you may not like this Consumed by social media Consit a person a person who isn't consumed by social media Even if it's their business I can't stand women that are constantly on their social media accounts their Instagram accounts their Their Facebook accounts whatever it is. I mean even but it's my business. I'm supposed to be honest my business Well, fucker when you're with me if you if it's your business then go back to work and don't spend time with me on Your social media because to me that's low class Number six This is one of my favorites Genuinely friendly to waitstaff genuinely friendly to serve a staff and waitstaff I love it out one of the first thing when I sit at a restaurant one of the first things I do is I engage with the waitstaff I ask their name and and when a person with who's with me is doing the same engaging with waitstaff and is Friendly to me. That's high class. That's high brow and high class And I don't know if you feel the same way That's how I feel about people that engage with those who are serving you and lastly number seven number seven On time for a date. I am sorry, but I my biggest pet peeve I punctuality is one of my most important values in my life and I cannot I I don't think I Think in what feels like and I'm not saying this is the number what feels like thousands of dates and first dates in my lifetime And that's not the actual number, but it feels that way I Would say less than five percent of the women have been on time I'm sorry. I cannot stand tardiness because here's and by the way and what's worse at one woman we planned a date and We had a date planned and we just what I needed to like confirm the restaurant because I had made a change and she went Silent on me for two hours and then the excuse was one of my girlfriends was having a meltdown And I had to be on the phone with her You know what if she had an appointment with her boss and I said this in my last video She would have swam through by the way and her boss was gonna give her a multi-million dollar deal If she had to call and to be on time I guarantee you her girlfriend would have been put in the back burner But because I was a stranger not only did she disrespect me, which is low class She didn't show up. I mean but people that don't show up on time That's just that lacks class And you know what I invite everyone to set their standard higher because I got to tell you today's dating mating and relating realm is low brow Very low brow That's my opinion and I'm sticking to it being on time shows class and by the way Legitimately people can be late. I understand that but you know my old boss used to tell me Being 15 minutes early to an appointment was on time being on time was late and one minute late Was in it was after the appointment was inexcusable. I Always budget. I'm always when I go on a date. I'm always there 15 minutes early because I budget for traffic I budget for things and if I'm gonna be late. I say it the hour or so earlier So at least that person goes oh, I don't have to rush at this moment because they got they did get caught up That to me is class and that's the way I show up and I invite all of you to do the same Are you with me? Can I give a name in? All right Really quickly respectful on the telephone and text communication do not bad mouth of your past Relationships listen and acknowledge the other person's communication has done some self-love work on themselves Isn't consumed by social media genuinely friendly to wait stop and is on time for dates That's my invitation for class and I'd like to know if you feel the same way if you do post a comment below post a comment in the In the chat box and we're gonna take If you have something to share post a comment below if you're listening to the replay of this if you want to schedule a discovery Call with me. There's a link below if you want to purchase my books all the books I recommend there's a link below if you want to join my private group if you can't afford coaching There's a link below if you want to follow me on Instagram. There's a link below If you have something to share post it share this with your friends like this video right now I'd be truly grateful if you'd share this and like it as well and we're gonna wrap up this video as I always do first off Give myself a big gigantic shot the barric of self-love. I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love If that's okay I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone a pet a teddy bear pillow and give enter them a hug of love Because hugs are a great source of love and let's face it we could all use more love in our lives I want to thank Leah and Jenny Genie Karen Tanya I be