 I have a good time back at Akidogo nini. Usheshii kwa? Zaziru hivi. Mba kumunyuna jiku zatuna shanga. At mi watena. At WhiteFive for Facebook, at WhiteFive for Tana Twitter hashtag is what in the morning. I apologize deeply from the depth of my soul for the slight technical hitch that we've just experienced. But we are back because at Ogopi, are we together? We are going to have this conversation and it's going to be lit. Are we together? Technical difficulties or na? Na I was saying something very meaningful. I was reading out loud the comments made by you which we appreciate a lot. Again, WhiteFive on Facebook, at WhiteFive for Tana Twitter hashtag is what in the morning or Queens on Wednesday. So we start again with Jaffet. I see you. Atitangu Jana, atone kani, please flanimolo. What's up? Thank you baby for letting us know. We will look into that real quick. Then we have Edka Handsome on Maruti says rumuroti tuned and man James wants to hear my testimony. Atia nendeivi kuchu kwa mahamri nambazia lafwakam. Ayana kungoja. Dan Sparks mahambo says I move on because there's a long queue waiting. But kami mi nime kustia huwana eka effort kiasit rudiana eki kata na sunga kusonga. Kusonga mele ki injiri my guy, you guy. Tony Denito says locked in a sege, a segeri kama kawa kama dawa. Wow, there's so many of you. I like it. And man James says again. Waw nani chocha tu dati, but I like it. Thank you for watching the show. And man James again. Atila utabiri niske konbasationi enu kus jai kwa in a relationship. Maybe relationship yanguna good. We have Vikrym tuned all the way from Eveka inside Golden Empire music and arts entertainment. Just enjoying the show. It is our joy that you enjoy what we do. Nani merayim, I hope kuna mtu nani record mahali ningi studio pop. Patrick Kamande says social media handles zangu, daddy. At color mi val, as in val wa makalas na someone has put that up for you. Alberta Sheik says matakus well tuned, big up all fans. Litma says good morning val and team Y24. Good morning Litmas. Kama kawa kama dawa back to the topic. Maisha nila zima iyendele at times. We have to let go ma pensisio pati pati. Eki kusinda wezi, wezi fozi. Big up to ma fans of White Fire 4 Water and my mom Rose Oloch akiwaki sumo. Oh, very big up to yourself. Kwanzaa ni Queens Wednesday. So we're celebrating you, Queen Rose Oloch. I see really wamiri. The good thing niku kubali matokeo. And all shall be well be. Positive always. Oh my gosh, there's so many. I like it. Wiliwamiri says yeah, that's the best medicine. Peter Kam says locked mundoro. Mundoro katundo south. I see you weru Paul from Nyeji watching. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. And I told you this is the hardest show around. I told you this is the absolutely best breakfast show ever. Yani atamonye nanzatu kuswetni kifireyo story. White Fire 4 Facebook. At Y254 turn on Twitter. Hashtag is YNZ. Morning. If you have just caught us, the topic of the day for Girls Talk is starting afresh. Unaskiya sadin lemitua me pakubiragu. Za kezote ya kahama ake enda place ingine. Amame delete social media. Menda social media ka delete kila kitu. Aki anza na ex-bay. We are back reset from zero posts. Oh my gosh. Mutua na enda na change paka namba. Mutua na enda na change paka. I don't know. I want to say area code, but I don't know if that kind of works for us here in Kenya. But anyway, the point is reset. Starting afresh. What would drive someone to start afresh? Ni heartbreak, ni kufiwa, ni ni ni kubueka, ni ni ni habu ni ambieni. All right? Now come. Let us join our panel. How are you? Are we hungry? Hi. Yay. That's better. Let's start with you. Hi, Queen. How are you? I'm good. Kerebusana kweto. Santi. Akasmat. Santi. Akasmat piya. No, thank you. Onakwicha na niyoko? I'm Brenda. Brenda Murugi from Kasarani. I cleared high school last year. We? Kweli? Ya. See campus? No. High school. Ha. Starting afresh. We? I'm afraid. Afresh. I am afraid of all the men in this studio. We? We? We? We? We? We? We? We? We? We? We? We? We? We? We? We? We? We? We? We? We? We? We? I go. You? So then again. Kariwe? Yes. And then again in Hap י supplemental y strip. K? N원 me. Oh my mother? Okay, coconut stone. Thank knak. Indi'ySí the letter A a type 2 Что you were busy. Was a Sikbar Ema. Girl, we? You? I'll help you with w yes, yes, crab, crab, crab? I want to study journalism So in the right place Hi, kufanya testing, testing So what do you think of the topic of the day? Have you ever had to start afresh? Yeah Really? What happened? Heartbreak Kwa nume wa ita unu na kusumbua mamei nnevenyo nimi rena Akiwa for mwa? Neneo si heartbreak Neneo si heartbreak bado Kwa nume wa ita konyesha mambo Iwa bado si heartbreak But what happened? Tell me, walk me through the process How did you start afresh? Yeah, we broke up And it was painful It was really painful Were you 14, 15? Kwa yasa so na chesha game chafu? So I thought that's the end My sheina's mama up But no I realised I have to focus on rebuilding myself And eventually someone who is meant for me will come my way Who left together? Well To some mutual Yeah, we saw we were both not It's not working U na kakwa na heartbreak mam? No U endu na heartbreak bado? Have you ever had to start afresh? No Really? How? I'm very conscious When it comes to getting into a relationship I have to sit back Analyze things If it will work, it will But I will never start again U nbako na jihambia sasa apa? How do I go on from here? We just have to reboot Acha mesha toi jai kuambia U jai may be experience But maybe I can label the feeling Like it's an intense type of confusion Like wujuhisa sa unenda habi U kutu ok Ok So life in Manifaniivi now what else from here You've never had that point in your life No single event or a group of events One amalgamation of events How brought you to that feeling? Well, I think after my dad passed How did you deal with that? No How did you deal with that? Well, you have to accept and move on Bono naisima vizuri efo Aima is not easy Accepting is very easy You know, once something happens You have to accept If you keep on being in a denial state You will never accept it So you have to accept It's something natural It comes You are not the first victim And you won't be the last victim It's there So you have to come down Accept Move on You're so mature Thank you for pointing out She's very mature She's a thinker Yes While she is a feeler But piya kuna echgape Kuna echgape So the hormones that are happening here Are different from the hormones But part of her approach is called rational Very rational It has happened so what Why stay there brooding away It looks the way you have called it I'm also a thinker That's why I can relate with her But the risk with us thinkers is We can gloss over emotions We can rush to finish with that thing Because you can't change it What's the point? Ziku pati na mbele Yes The risk with that Is that your feelings are not diminished By your thinking For us people like Linda and me It looks like a quest of time To sit down and cry Because the crying will not reverse Is this true Linda? It's true Too much She will think differently Funny thing is I can relate to both of you You have to accept the pain You let it hurt Till it can't hurt anymore Very good Then move on Accept It's over Cry if you have to Lock yourself in a room I don't know Yeah, do all those things No, that's a filler A filler has a place in the life Of processing emotions A thinker has no time For things that don't move you forward Why do I relate to both of them? Why can I understand what she's saying And also understand what she's saying Matter of age and experience I can see both of them Because I've studied it But you need to know which end you're coming from You will not be both You can understand all But you're only one You're right hand Whether they're rational Or they're the other one The feeling And I somehow cannot use both my hands And be by dexterity Yes We have With hands it's different But with personalities Whether predominantly a filler Or predominantly a thinker Both are feeling Or the other one are more rational Now to feelings I don't think you'd understand this Maybe before I come to you She's came to me and said We have feelings We have feelings Good day when you have feelings How do you deal with that? That piss you off Yes It pisses someone off But The thing is You don't have to You have to be yourself Come in him to our feelings Me in him to our feelings Yes Yes Let me deal with my own feelings My own way If we're same to our feelings It's fine We all deal with things our own way We're not the same In retrospect Now What is I don't know kama ni opoze Who made this match It's a match made in heaven We have two such distinct personalities It's wonderful So how do you cope? How do you cope? I want to ask how you cope What would someone accuse you of If she would be accused Of having too many feelings Has someone ever accused you of not She'll give you the one Or something of a sort Well, I'm not sure But it depends with What kind of people I relate to Maybe they would say I have feelings Me meaning for feelings But so far so good No No one has ever told me in kuna feelings Then coming to Brenda's case I have a feeling She was in high school Most of us Were in high school Were we in a relationship Were we? Were we in a relationship? We were not with you You were with me You were with me But most Let me say majority Let me just say majority I don't know what happened Nowadays to Students in high school But according to me When I was in high school I wasn't in a relationship So I was very comfortable I never even used to go to fankis Or you know These inter-school games Yes, surprise I used to be in school Read I was brought there to read So I would read I would read I wish that was the discussion today I would read Okay Yes, those bukomas Who came to school later To read And then you come out here There is no job for reading Iko, lawyers I'm one of them Be careful Let's get this fight So We have a lot of Facebook We have a lot of Facebook We have a lot of Facebook We have a lot of Twitter Hashtag is why in the morning So how to start afresh So we dumped right into the steps But maybe we should come back a little bit And say what would Motivate someone to want to start afresh What would motivate someone To start afresh like Tyvee Okay I was touched by the question I asked her And I was hoping that she would mention Why she has not been told That she has too much feelings I expected her to say Labda, maybe you're too strict Or too forthright Sometimes they call them insensitive Or rough Because you stay to that point And then you don't feel understood You feel condemned And yet it's a truth If I want to talk with her personally People like us thinkers Must learn sensitivity Because it's not inborn We are more sensible We are more sensitive Okay When you guys have to talk You first imagine how to make the person feel That's not empathy That it is Your nature is empathy We are also empathetic But we are more rational We start with what works What resolves the problem What will fix the situation My friend, you are just messing yourself up this way Just do things differently And your level will improve When you are through crying Find me in the office When you are finished with your situation So There's a question You just want to motivate us to move on Kuna jambo tunafak wacha Tunafak utaja Before people move on What is the opposite if they don't move on You stay in the trench So one If something happens It breaks down It crashes like the little heartbreak I had my first heartbreak after form 4 So I can relate After form 4 Yes It's a girl I was dating When I was finishing form 4 So I don't go away alone Okay And she was also in that excitement When these girls are in school They're not beautiful They're just young Their skin is baby-like But you should not describe her as pretty Why? You should describe her as young She's just a girl The skin is just growing Beautiful is when you're stabilized We can see how you look like Wai Mutua jkwa yo drop Beautiful is when you're stabilized Past 20 I don't describe girls below 20 as beautiful You look delicate That's what I told her Wow High school as I learned After my first major mistake Of thinking Wow My angel You look like an angel She should have asked me When lastly did you see one How can I compare you to something I didn't see I have never seen an angel The closest thing a guy should lie you with Is a demon Because he's giving like one So I think I think When you are below anything 20 Let's call that experiment So Brenda, my sister Take that as an experiment And it was healthy Mutua toa, mutua toa Any young thing Aki lang kuwok And a kimbia everywhere We know we are going any destination Just experimenting The experience of walking So your heart was new to loving And it was loving everywhere Enjoying the experience of loving And telling the guy You are my everything My forever And all that It was child playing Aiko love So she had to break Ni kai experimenti kali blow How to start afresh Number one is Reflect on your past How to start afresh Reflect on your past And do you have trouble saying no Do you have trouble saying no Do you have trouble saying no sweet heart Onakamu wo iye aki Onakatumu wo iye Well I had trouble saying no Like Ya I thought I thought you should please everyone When you say yes Everyone is cool And everyone will like you Ya It's not about liking It's about not offending That's our past Really That's our last thing Isn't that right? True Ya But with time I came to realize You can't please everyone You have to do what's best for you Even if it means saying no Ya At least they've helped you Filas must learn how to say No fingers must learn how to say yes Let's hear from her Blood twist Do you have a problem saying yes I don't have a problem saying yes But you know When the suggestion is difficult And maybe in the back of your mind You're like No It didn't happen But something else will tell you Yes it happened Except It happened So maybe you'll be like You know You're sleeping You're taking a nap And then it's No no no Somewhere it's a yes yes yes So it has to be a big yes Your diagnosis sir Ya She's answering a different question The question was Would you do things for people That are not comfortable for you But they need them No No That's it You see the noise Thank you Yes Yes That's the noise I was talking about Thinkers start from that point It's not good for me Why should I do it Filas know it's wrong I'm married to a fila But they have to mature Into learning how to trouble Because they are empathetic It takes maturity for them To learn no But another thing I would want to change her Into the tough person Because she'll also tell you As we conegino That people find her warm And relatable And I will not be surprised That I want her to know That she is warm That she is warm They trust her quickly Because of that warm Is that true Filas are so They engender trust You feel You know the motherly warmth We associate with mothers These guys grow with it Is that true Ya it's true So ok Ni ni ni audience Talk to me Is it Ok I want to say is it true But you already said yes It's true But how How did you come out of that Ok We are many chahi I should say no Because it's inconvenience in me But let me just say yes And they already said Raka raka stotishi What was your turning point? Well it reached a point I realized like It's as if people are using me For their own gain And I'm not gaining anything back Ya just My name is really compliments That's it But in the end of it all See where you're not gaining Anything at all Like at all Ya so that's it You have to just be straight forward With someone and be like I would have really helped you with that But because of this This and this I can't I like that Doctorally they say People rarely forget Remember rather They rarely remember What you said But they remember how you made them feel How does that work Against or for each of them? Because human beings feelings are energy Feelings are We register them Have you met a person And you don't know the last interaction with them But you remember the feeling Especially if it's a good feeling Yes You actually fake Ya what is it about you You put in remembers The feeling the person left you with years ago And even if it was a bad feeling So the reason we remember feelings is Because they are both energy And we actually experience them Those are ideas And we can register them We of this category love ideas When you have good ideas Thinkers who love you for your intellect Before I knew myself I used to love national schools Girls and boys who could think quickly I just had an infatuation for them And I would talk to girls Who just think fast Nothing else I love about them Just the fact that you can have witty conversations And now I can't say that to the public Lest I'm telling the others That they are less witty I see that I could only compliment the ones who are like that And keep quiet when I'm with the others Pretend also to be getting along You're a smart one Pretenders I mean thinkers will Many times I don't need to give you public figures But you can tell where Matiangi falls Versus Amina Mohamed If I take those two You can see who is which one That man already had struck something in my head Yes If I pick Musalia Mudabadi And Mbagoha I don't need to ask which one is a thinker Which one is a filler You can see they are just like this So the thing is to say None is weak or strong We are approaching from the other end So it's true People remember how you made them feel And this is what I teach thinkers Me being among them I had done to work a lot Human beings are basically creatures of emotion Not creatures of logic Because thinkers like making points This guy talks like a machine You know when you are so much logic You look like a computer People can't feel you They just hear you throwing points And soon they lock you out Okay So the next side We're going to take this a little bit fast pace So white five for Facebook White five for channel Twitter Hashtag is why in the morning So how to start afresh Decide what you really want And I think this is a very important point Especially for ladies Because I know a lot of times We are just confused We are making noise Constantly about what we don't want But it's okay But it's a problem So set realistic goals for yourself Write them down Your self confidence will grow As you achieve each goal Am I right ladies Transino Is that something This sounds like something Taylor made for you Do you write down your goals Or do you set for yourself certain goals I write down Yeah I write down what I want And how I will achieve What I want So I basically just note them down To work towards achieving them Does it work Like umezandika leo I want to buy a car And however long it will take you Eventually you will come And take it off Said yes I bought a car Well if you can work towards purchasing a car I don't have a problem with it But it's saving A thousand buck per day Or 50 shillings per day You know At the end of it I will buy a car So it doesn't matter How many years I'm going to save the money But if I really need a car I want that car For my personal use Then I'll have to work towards it So I'll just note it down I say this month maybe I'll save 20,000 Towards purchasing the car The other month I'll save this Until I purchase the car Does it work the same for you mami Who wants to buy a car Who wants to buy a car Who wants to buy a car Who wants to buy a car So I write things down Like literally I write them down Then I sit back and think How am I going to do this This and this And the moment I Cross out the first thing In my list I know that's it I can achieve all the others Because I can't back out Like the moment Nimaianza nimaianza Whatever it takes You have to do it Because you know it's for your own good That personality is called J That personality They share there They are both J's They are planners Me and you are improvisers Improvisers don't need a neat list As long as they have a rough idea Of what needs to be done today They will go with it It is comes And they enjoy the flexibility They go to the supermarket At Jack which has an offer first They have a list Of how much needs to spend Versus how much And how much we have And they must return that much They believe organization outside Is organization inside If they say they say outside They can't think clear True of us So it makes your bed every day Yes But for us That openness is part of what keeps us alive Some people can change it Okay but too many people How did you know I can tell I am a psychologist Thank you So one day You should invite me Talk about personalities So they are J Me and you are P Prospecting or improvisers J means shedling Within structure And they respect time You delay them They feel off They offend them Because they came there You delay me I look for something to fill up The time How did he know So quickly No Our personal space Let me talk about mine alone Because I already We don't obsess about neediness As long as we know where staff is We find it when we need it Them must organize things Put them right Before they can start work for the day These are guys who can go back Ake wa kwa gate a kumuki I just spread it Kita na jizuri Atarudi aka spread My third corner Na kuna mutu Anilalia in the meantime But it will remain Disturbing her at the back of her mind Something was not organized For me I will fight in the bed There in the evening No worries But this P Is very artistic The J is very scientific That's how you need The shedling guys Are very good Science needs precision And methodology And for starting afresh Since then Thank you Yes Let me relate it Just hours So we can't really change them The one thing that will happen If this person's life Is interrupted by being left Baby she told you She paused and processed What had happened And planned the next As for me There's a girl who rejected me Was it Nitu kwa na mpa sufa Uwani anakafuja pukata At the end of the year Was that a relationship? It was something It was a pursuit So a pursuit it is appointed But she had entertained me So long I thought now we have something Going on No other way you girls Can just entertain us And if we think something is going on Then suddenly Accepting the flowers And you know You see those petinates And loving has been Officially presented I was also naive You need to sign contracts Before you invest Volume up Majama mwa cheku Nunu wa kumpelikei Nahi alafu na muna Relationship na julikana And both of you There's no niche To understanding We can't just say We are just friends We are just friends for that Because I'm a prospecting I'm an improviser I was actually already broken For two hours Exactly I checked the watch That's marvelous I was crushed But I went to a prayer room It's a good place to go It's always good to have God When other people seem to have rejected me And I processed and thought But I said, while I'm delaying here the rest of my life is stopping. So improvisers have a tendency to do things together, a lot of them as they go on. So I'll think about you as I talk to another person and do that. So part of how the process is starting over is in a structured manner. I advise if you realise that you only work comfortably within a schedule, don't rush after you break up or after being bereaved. After major loss, don't rush. Let the world continue but you pause because that's how you recollect, re-center, decompress, reorganize your life. And these guys when they are moved on, they are moved on. Even if you change your mind and become an angel, they will tell you, let's be friends. But I've since moved on. But I feel like I have that kind of... But today is not about me, today is about you. Wait for phone Facebook, wait for 4 time on Twitter, hashtag is why in the morning. Okay, another one guys. So how to start afresh? Another point is keep only supportive and positive people around you. In a circle has a strong effect on whether you achieve your goals or not. This was a very strong statement. So at first I was very skeptical. Niko, ay. Yania, to the people around me can affect me to that point. It's over to me jambia and tafanya, cizifanya. But you look at it from this point of view. If let's say you have a certain goal. Maybe you want to go to a campo immediately. You want to just do those 4 years. Kuna kuhu kula masap, seji e kuhu repeat, nothing. But if you have people around you who just don't dieing all the time. Immediately when you get to class after that metoka nivu. Amo when you get to class kulala, kusainu kitu ala fuhu lale. That will kind of affect your goals, right? Have you ever experienced... It's basically peer pressure. Peer pressure has really affected me. It actually took me time to realize that some people are just wasting me. I'm just doing things because they're doing them. The moment I realized that I cut off so many people of my life. Yeah, that's it. I know what I want. I sat, thought, knew I want this, this and this. After that, I went literally through my contact list. I'm like, okay, uyu. Uyu ani saidi angini. Utu ina kwanga, parting, that one X. Like that. It's true. Yeah, because if you're starting afresh, you can't start afresh with the people who messed you up. Like you're starting afresh. You don't look like you've had those problems with people disturbing. One site, go over there. Am I right? Okay, so things to do with peer pressure. I can't say that I went through a lot of them because my time in campus, I had a cousin. So my cousin used to be... He like booked so much. He used to perform very well. Then I used to be like, this guy is performing very well. I also want to perform very well. Because he had other friends back in high school. So they used to perform very well. So we all joined campus the same year. And then I said, I want to be friends with these people. They don't take alcohol. They don't go partying. They just don't books. And research and the internet studying. Then I said, this is where I belong. So that's how I stayed with them. We used to read together. We finished school. And we were still friends. So basically my circle was full of positive people. I like that. People who don't drink alcohol. Actually we never drank alcohol. Apoko alcohol? Does that make you feel like people who... Okay, in your setting, in your inner circle. Ok, zatu kunye na ribu vitu, na changanya. You start getting... Yeah, because I've seen people, you know, they taste once. Then the next day they do it. And then they get used to drinking alcohol. And then at the end of it, they end up messing their lives. Assume someone doesn't have both parents. You've been brought to campus by someone who is just a guide. And then you fail them at the end of it. You become a drunkard. You drink all the times. So eventually you back at home. They call you, we when we live here. Not to trouble you. But from the idea, you are trouble. There's no room for moderation in her town. There's no... There's no kunye na uneza kunyewa. We can't... We can't build it per month. That's a problem with the public. We think everybody who drinks is a drunkard. We think everybody takes some alcohol as alcohol. Because I have met cultures where you drink with your food. Let's mention this. Like kunye waen apokalapiko. I'm happy Linda brought this up. When young people go to campus, they find bars inside. Alcohol is available. They brought it inside so that they don't go to town to drink and get knocked by vehicles on the way. That was the thinking. Safety first. That was the thinking. If they are going to drink anyway, let them drink near where they are sleeping. Malich no awana. I think they will have sex anyway. Bring them condoms so that they can wait safely. For free. So the point is, parents really don't like that. They wouldn't provide bar and condoms at home. But in the university, it's provided. This is the point. Many people who start drinking and get hooked into alcoholism had another existing problem. I know many guys who take a bottle or two or wine occasionally or weekends only and they are managing their lives. This is what I recommend. I examine your life and the area that you have on the rainbow. And avoid what can trap you quickly. Some people can be trapped quickly by alcohol, others by sex issues, others by betting and gambling and money issues, others by sex addiction or something. Examine your life, study yourself, make yourself faster, study. I ask people, we go to the university and I'm happy she brought up that notion that the guys who are working under the class and studying, some people are so academically gifted that they should focus most of their energy on the academic. But if you give me two students who once called a C-Class or a PASS, but was also in the games, was also a student leader. Was also doing architecture, went for a trip, organized this group, played this, did these things. And another word, Fath Klazonas, with any of that, I would take the C-One. This one can thrive here in the world. Life is not just about books. And I don't know what class you got. We hardly ask people the class they got of the degree. We just ask them what they studied. The next thing we are hearing of Fath Klazonas who can't find a job, a simple thing to get along with. So part of it is to say, let's also mention these are not everybody who drinks because that's a problem. Some people drink for socialization. Those who drink and have a problem is because they need to solve that problem. It's not because they touched alcohol. It's the hiding behind the alcohol. Yes. And many are hiding behind other things. And Linda will tell you that. Some people never taste alcohol in school. But the day they taste it, when they have that to something with the money, they collapse all the way. Is it the shock at what? Nikona pesu zangu sasa, no one can tell you. I encourage young people to arrive at conclusions about alcohol deliberately. To arrive at conclusions about faith in God. That's an issue they question a lot. I don't know if she has finished questioning. But when they attend all the way to twenties, they need to explore that. You need to arrive at a decision about LGBTQ and that minorities thing. You need to arrive at a conclusion about all the things personally. Even if it's not shared by the group. And I tell them to do it by information instead of experiment. If you have to try faith. If you have to try all of them. I didn't see that coming. If you have to try all of them. Let me have a sex to see what's wrong with sex. Let me see what's wrong with me. How about if I don't believe anybody? How about if I abandon all my friends? You will not live long enough to endure all those mistakes. You will have lost your life. So I ask them to ask questions, to research, to attend conferences, to have mentors, to ask those guys who messed up. So some of us have already messed up for you. We can involuntia the experience. So we ask what happened when you did this? When I got infected, I got heartbreak. And I tell them condoms can prevent PG pregnancy, STI but not heartbreak. There's no condom for heartbreak. And nobody tells them that. It's safe, safe sex. It's not safe. Your little heart is still exposed. We're just having for fun. There's nothing permanent. Your heart does in no experiment, to get attached. And again, we're not the same. Females and males. Yes. No strings attached, but the strings, you need rope, you need to come, but watch out for strings. Because for the guy, he is benefitting, you are investing. He's just exploiting. Remember when there's a breakup, I told you the other time that 70% of the time the lady carries the bigger of the burden. The bigger burden. The guy we understand na kikuja ni kuja ni kuja. Neza kwa approach na kwa bia, I had a girlfriend, but he didn't want me to delay. But if you stop by telling me, I had a boyfriend, but I would start wondering, are you really over? What happened? I know that. Because the site is tilted against women, I ask them to be more careful. That's right. The last one is be happy. Be happy, like jibambi. Oh my gosh, this is my favorite part of starting afresh. Please be happy. Find things that keep you happy. Learn to laugh at yourself. Apokwanzakwa yourself. Can we just take a moment? Laugh at yourself. That's so good. Jijieke, laugh at. That's so cool. Atifal, you're timing ina, tu li ku nalia heartbreak ni umtuwa mende kakunyo wa stana venyatua apanjia na kunyo mahaji. Ajye, then you laugh. Atifal, ni wei tu li danganyotui atia so special. Val, ni wei wei aia uji jijieke. Mama, when you meet your ex, the guy used to think he's prince charming. Suddenly realize he has rikets. I'm really glad you said that. I'm really good. Juzi, ni kuwan meka tuivi ni kasima. Oh my gosh, sosa val, ni kuwan na liya Nia God ni mkubu He's very good. The guy texts you now, you feel like throwing up? Block. Block, report and block. Niki moa na shagagai. So if you can laugh at that, you're a healthy person. You are a healthy person. It's muhimo guys. Allow yourself to grow the foolishness. You should laugh at it. Kwa za juli za uki jana, kuwan na kupe heartbreak sigh. Venyome ma liza shule. Una kuna potential mingi mingi ita on ya. Laugh at yourself. Laugh at yourself first. Do you feel comfortable? Ya, nadize kanjoka about it. Like I can sit with my best friend and be like, onakumuga wule mse, like seriously, atinam post. Just making fun about it. Ya, and talking about how life is now much more fun, like the things we are doing right now. Ya, like, ya that thing teaches a lesson and actually the moment when I was crying afterwards I sat back and thought and like wiped my tears and I'm like, okay Brenda, you're only 18 and you're crying for I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. Okay like, why are you doing that to yourself? Ya, that's mental torture. I'm too young to be unhappy. Too pretty. Anytime I find out A guy has confirmed. Two guys now. Ya, too beautiful to have this problem. Aunty, I want you to comment on the be happy. A you able to laugh at yourself? And a small advice for Brenda next time you're doing a guy don't post him. At all. Keep it private until he pays and gets title deed. This is title deed. This is title deed. This is title deed. Ahma kamgo mummi. Atikwambio un post, you can do the way guys did, akamgo, may do complain sim post. So aka squeeze, aka purchase a dot. So here she goes. So next time you demand sia. Mummy tell me Quamechitia kwa si pилиu wajal niyo? Ya, ya, ya kiva kwa So, kuwisia kwa Maa kwi wa kifigawu Maa kwa kwa iwi Knu Kwa na kwa maa niya Na na kwa maa niya Maa kwa kwa k disappointmenta这 is nomo Not laughing that someone has died, but just thinking how have we beenัn the dark for a long time and now I can see the light. I can see the light, things're just okay, Te 같wana ofi n heroin we laugh a guy woman will laugh us down how is is possible Indonesia Please always find a way to check it. Uji cheke kablam tu mugi na pucheke uske uchungu. So Allah fach yourself so you have the authority over yourself. At Y2Five on Facebook at Y254Channel on Twitter. Hashtag is one in the morning or Queen's Wednesday. Please do have a great day. We have a repeat from around 2pm like this. And if in case you want to watch another interview again and again and again, Y254Channel on YouTube. So now this is the power you say goodbye. Bye.