 It's Mum Joke Time! Your mum's got a tattoo of the umbral sign! In the men's toilet sniffing jumbo lines! She had two battles and she won both times! Like Nick Naughty, she wears socks and her hands like Mick Foley! Ay-yo! Her nickname up in prison is Big Toe! What's good? Don't flop all fucking day! You know the score, it's the office Christmas party! The final event of an amazing 2014! Feelers out by everyone in the building! Make some noise! On the tour at our Instagram, at Don't Flop! Hashtag DFAFD, all that good shit! Shout out to all the supporters giving up this Saturday afternoon! It's our final event of the year! Big Up! Everyone has come through every city in 2014! Alright, this is a straight 100% off the dome! Freestyle battle shit! I've got so much love and faith in both these MCs! MC on my right-hand side! Absolutely torn! I placed down at 6th birthday! Make some fucking noise for Pedro! Same thing, you can cop the battle on the pay-per-view with him vs. DNA right about now! I make sure you cop that Fillin' the Dots album! As always, on my left-hand side! Make you feel welcome! Make some noise for Dots! Alright, like I said, this is off the dome shit! We've got three rounds, two 60 seconds, and the final round is back-to-back. The first 60 seconds is on my dude, Pedro! Let's go! Yo, the upside down pee, I turn it the front way! Get hit in the air like a bird on the runway! I see his chick unrolled, see his bird in a Hyundai! She gets fucked in her ass, crack first date on Monday! Yo, your good one day, your shit the next day! His chick is a bitch and she lives with MA! Listen! Listen! I'm rolling the hospital, I switched to x-ray! I am the guy on your sister's sex tape! Listen! He's a crack-fiend! You look like a drag queen, and you rat me! Nah, you don't! Yo, I ain't even near as dope, I fucking, I don't fear the Pope! I take the holy grail! The ponytail that's going off his chin! You can't even fuck with him! Your upside down pee! Yo, watch your mouthpiece! I'll knock you out clean like a nigma said! Yo, you be in that nigma's sister's bed! Trying to get a little head! Yo, you fucking live inside, your head is like a kinder head! Yo, I got a better beard than him! I don't fear he's as weird as, he's as weird as him! No one in the room is as weird as him! I beat the fucking up, and I'll tear his skin! Fuck it! Yo, before I start buddying this gnome, I just want to say, no more free events, bro! We need more quality control! Hey, oh, trust me! Fuck this idiot! If I ever see Ped alone, I'll fucking tell him to get on his bike and pedal home, or I'll chuck him into Camden or I'll leave him floating like a pedalo! Yo, trust me! Yeah, that's right, I'm ripping it off! Everything I spit is coming when I spit off the top! This guy keeps holding his hand down here because he pissed on his top! Hey, yo! Fucking hell! You'll get sparked! Who made them trainers, bro? Trespass? Timberlander! Timberlander! Kill over him! Hey, yo, listen! Trust me! I'm going to shoot you with a bazooka, mind like a supercomputer! I'll be fucking rudeer! You need to stop trying to stick your fucking dick in Kruger! Trust me! Fuck this whack, brother! His mum's a fat heifer! Just because you fucking talk more doesn't mean you rat better! Trust me! And it might be funny and come with that dumb shit, but I heard his mum's got a thumb like a fucking bum sniff! Trust me! Hey, yo, fuck this! Toin! Let's go, man! Guys, yo, yo, yo! Look, it says, Drop, drop, bang! You do hopscotch fam! Fuck that! Your mum's dumb, white, and she buns crack! You got blue on your sneakers! You're like a blue peter newsreader! I'm a nit-rader! Everything that spits heat I'll come through and leave you with a fucking nit-bleeder! Yo, one bang! You're a dumb fam! Your mum is a dumb man! She gets took away and you don't fuck! You don't fuck! You put your finger at me! I'll finger your knees! You're making limp from his knees! Yo! Everything that's spitting is grease! Yo! You be fucked up! I know your ligament's weak! You can't even walk! It's hard when I talk! Get stabbed in your mouth with a sharp fork! Half past four! Yo! You got a raw force! Everything you say is pure, Bure in lines! I bore your wife! Yo! Northern lion! You be on the way home! Yo! I fucking don't cooperate to the Pope! Oh, no, no! You're a homo! Slow, though! Yo, you're un-slow, though! I earn it quicker, burn your lip! You be spitting rap shit till you're 36! I'm at this prick! Fuck you, you German bitch! Time! 30 bits! Your mum's got a fucking cervix itch and looks like she just had sex with a Persian pig! Yo! Trust me! A fucking... I'mma leave this dude broken! Yeah, that's right! This ain't word association! For fuck's sake, Pedro! Slow down! Learn how to rap metaphors and pronouns! Your girlfriend's disgusting, brother! It's so easy to make that slut go down! And trust me, you're a dumb prick! If my mum will get punched in her son's lip then you'll get punched in your mum's tits! Fuck! Trust me! I spit the grammar! I've got a rhyme scheme figured in Indiana! Yeah, that's right! No Jones, but I roll like a boulder! I leave Pedro in a coma when I'm rolling him over! Trust me! I've got a nice rhyme and I come off at the top! I leave man's head split, colours leaking like this tie dye! Yeah, that's right! Trust me! I'm fucking rude and mental! Yeah, that's right! I ain't talking about my needs, but his needs comes down to the fact that this dude is special! No! Trust me, he's half-Volgarian! Grab your mum, he's a Volgarian! She looks like a cross between some fucking drag queen and she'd have had a caesarean! Time! Alright, let's go! Alright! Yo, yo, yo! I see his mum fishing at the aquarium! I'll wear it in! Yo, I'll give him a knife, stab him! I dare in him! Listen! Okay, listen fam! I'll just fall for them! Okay, okay! You're done talking! You can count to four! Yeah! Trust me, if we're about to war, I'mma swing a fist back and fucking bang your jaw! No, yo! Listen, I smoke an ounce of draw, yeah? And I bounce from the law! Whenever they come, yo, this bread of his dumb, he'd be spitting raps till he's 71! Having sex with your mum! Trust me! I don't even have the teller to come! Yo, I'm fucking getting bigger! I'm turning into a celebrity, son! You just some fucking retarded clown that everyone hunts! Yo, yo, yo! He said that I'm turning into a celebrity, son! This bread is partly famous like a celebrity, son! I never rumped up! Go, Pedro! It's death row head blow! What's he gonna say? Neck go! Let's go! Fuck that! I'm on that death rap like Neck Row! I fucking spit some sick shit that'll disconnect your head from your neck bone! Tell him to head home! Yeah, that's what I get though! You just talk hard, you'll get fucking bored hard! I'll chuck you off the top of the fucking tool! It's roller coaster with Thorpe Park! No, no! Roller coaster! Open them up with a kind of Coca-Cola! Yo, a Tokyo owner! What's he gonna say? I knock him out here and he landed Nova Scotia! Flows the doper! You said Coca-Cola! You look like you've been drinking Ebola-Cola! He looks like peace soldier-soldier! Yo, that's too sick! You need toothpicks and your hair is pubic! Okay! Four bars. Hey, yo, this dude's shit! How are you gonna say my hair is pubic? You're just pissed off that you can't grow up being do this! Mine grows twice as quick! It's only 19, it looks like it's 96! Yo, this guy survives on a diet that consists of rice and chips! Fuck's sake! This guy never knows what time it is! Fuck's sake! I swear to God, bro, you should really put some time into this and actually write for shit! Yo, yo, yo, listen, yeah? You get merc to crisp. You said I eat rice and peas, I eat jerk chicken! I'll burn you dick! But your daughter's been objective in life is to give me head for the rest of her life! Fuck it! Yo, he said he eats jerk chicken! Fucking hell, bro! Your face looks like you were a burns victim! Trust me, it's so boring! It sounds like Mr. Burns spitting! Yo, yo, yo, he gets a purred kitten! Yeah? And he just knocks it up! Yo, listen, he hasn't even learned the rhythm! Yo, I don't give a fuck! There's nothing dirty in him! I leave him fucked up! Leave him burnt in prison! I've been burnt in prison! Burnt in prison? Burnt in prison? You got bombed in prison! I had sex with 30 women! I was left to hush! Yeah? Yeah, that's right! Yeah, that's right! I'll finger your mum's pussy and twist the clit to the pussy gush! The pussy gush! Your mum is a pussy, bruv! Your mum's got a bushy moth! Yo, you will get hit in your head! I know! I'll make you pus out stuff! Out of your chest! Yo, everything you said isn't bound to impress! Leave you down on your bed! Your death bed! Under the mistletoe you get the death kiss in your left leg! Mistletoe! I know it's Christmas, but please don't try to kiss me, bro! Yeah, that's right! I'm spitting dope! I've got them fucking frisbee flows! The kind that spin out of my mouth and slit your throat! Yo, yo, yo! Oh, you're spitting dope! But I hit you in the head and then I slit your coat! Listen, I leave him with I leave him with carved gums! I've got sharp arms! You haven't even half-hard! I come through and leave you on a bar chart! The rest of it low, dead in your throat, severing everything's dope that I spit! Choking your ribs, boning your cheek and smoking a spliff! You just admitted that every one of my bars large! I mean, I'll make you sleep on a bench like you're chilling in a bar's yard! Yeah, that's right! You live in a car park! Fucking hell! I'm a fucking kill this kid! Come off at the top with some sick shit and reveal his dick! Yeah, that's right! I had his mum on a few spliffs! He says my dick's smooth! Do you want me to prove it? Yo, it sounds like he does! He be in the... Yo, I'll be grounded as mum and we'll be out at the pub getting rowdy as fuck! Yo! You know what, bro? Trust me! Ain't nobody ever seen a garden gnome with a penis! Trust me! Nobody wants to see it! You didn't let me finish my bar before everyone started fucking screaming and tried to make me out like I'm some fucking homosexual demon! What I was trying to say was I'll spit some... Listen! Let's take it, take it! Yo, yo, listen! Listen! I got a heart of stone like a garden gnome! I target both! I come through and I carve your throat and everything you spit is hardly dope! My fucking flow tighter than an archer's bow! Yeah, that's why I'll leave half of your carb exposed when I fucking blast this bow! Okay! Yo! Yes, just chill out, bro! Just let me rhyme shit before I take your fucking hoodie and slash your neck with that night-tick! Yo! You said you flow tighter! Your mum looks like flow-rider! I used to go low-rider! Anyone who goes punk knows about that! It's the auto-flowering! Yo! Your daughter's showering! I'll be at a baby shower just to raid their houses! Yo! You buy your girlfriend amazing flowers! Yo! I undress your lady's blouses and then she makes me a round and a bun 80 ounces! Yo! About flow-rider or flow-titer I'll make him see pain if my mum's flow-rider your mum looks like T-Pain! Yo! Yeah, that's why I'll make your head pop! Fucking come off of the door forehead with a red top and strangle you to death with one of Cieslin's dreadlocks! Right, listen He said my mum looks like T-Pain Well, he's got a knee strain from giving brain to DK! He said something about dreadlocks Head top, neck-shot, chest-shot pet-shot! Let's cut! Pet-shot! Pet-shot! Who's the better battle-up? Pets-not! Yo! Trust me this shit's so fucking easy! Gee! You wanna fucking rip my T-shirt like I'm EMC and I'll show you how fucking quick I can get on my greasy steez! Yo! Yo, you're not greasy, please! You're cheesy, gee! You're free-foot-free and you're as neaky as can be! Yo! Yo! You got grazes from your knees You ain't blazing the cheese I'm blading your cheek and I'm making it T Mmm! They nearly slipped there Go, go, go! Yo! Fucking hell! He's blatantly weak He said I'll put a blade in my cheek But this guy makes money by sucking off gays every week Yeah, that's right Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo, you're the SOS Yo! Yo! You look like the guy you married yo Kelouno Aやuig called incense Yo! Your mum's dad and your son is a homo Are you beating me but that is a no They used to live in with a fractured nose bone Will you shut up a minute, bro Let me bit I'll send him back to the dojo and make the room turn cold like a Snowdom Like% I could keep this rhyme going forever, bro I'll put a hole in the middle of your face Ferrari done at half past one, sparking blunts. Trust me. Yo, I'll bash you in the chest of the cartridge, done! Your mama knows exactly where to punch you. My mama will park a bum on your face. I take your north face and go up to the court case with four rapes, and sell them to the judge. Pussy is smelly and with crust. Yo, I will punch you up, and I'll be selling off your drugs, then I'll punch you in the neck and that will tell you what a dust. That's fine, it's done, it's done. Yo, mate, it's done!