 I heard rumors, I saw some reviews that director Neil Blomkast's third outing Chappie is the worst of the pack, that he's a one-trick pony with District 9, and Alicium and Chappie going like this. I heard that his creativity is gone, that all his films take place in Johannesburg. They're all right. We've seen this movie before, or at least a lot of the ideas it presented in Wally, and I, Robot, and Short Circuit, and even in Big Hero 6. The difference is, those all had characters that were likable that you could relate to, whereas Chappie does not. The premise starts out simple enough, with Slumdog playing Dion, who's a technical engineer, he's a scientist of sorts, a programmer, I don't know what the fuck you want to call him. He builds an artificial intelligence that has the ability to think for itself, to give emotion, to actually have a soul of sorts. The robot is taken by a guy named Ninja and his wife, who are part of a pop rap group called Die Antward. This is a two-hour ad basically for their music. They're constantly wearing their own t-shirts, their shits playing in the background, which I actually like quite a bit, but this was so bizarre. Hugh Jackman gets third billing on this thing, so corny weavers once again barely in the film, give Weaver her own starring role again, I'm sick of her playing Patsy to a bunch of amateurs, oh wait the director is doing Alien. I assume it's going to take place in Johannesburg, so that'll be fun. This episode is brought to you by Taco John's unofficially, it's a taste of the border without having to cross it. I have myself a breakfast burrito today, I like to start my mornings with that at least once or twice a week, it's a fantastic meal. Taco John's is superior of course to Taco Bell, some of you in the South don't even know what these are, but it's a nice meal. I was always saying, let me catch my breath, Kelly Corson. Action is standard, nothing exciting, nothing that's going to blow you away, it's actually worse than District 9 and Elysium and that department as well as pretty much every other. Cinematography is the exact same, there was even some overhead shots that looked straight out of District 9, Michael Bay style, like he just repurposed the shot for this new film. Like I said, the characters aren't likeable, Chappy starts out cute and innocent, he's a toddler, he's learning how to develop himself, he's learning how to grow as an individual, which is a cool idea, but he's brought up by these sketchy meth fucking dealers and they're terrible people and then Chappy just turns into kind of a annoying asshole who doesn't shut up much like me on most of my shows I guess. There are so many not just plot holes, but just things that make no sense. First off, Chappy comes from this highly advanced security weapons facility, there's fucking no security anywhere and to make things worse, the director has the audacity to show us camera shot footage from time to time like oh this is a surveillance camera showing Chappy get dragged out of a room or this guy hacking into a computer, who's monitoring this stuff? Where are the police at? Where are the guards? These technicians, these computer nerds can go from their cubicles down the stairs, swipe an access key and get a gun out, they don't have to check it out, there's no fucking guards anywhere to be found, it's just absurd beyond belief. Also Dion, the creator of Chappy, gets kidnapped very early on, this isn't a spoiler, this is part of the main plot and the guys just let him leave, the criminals just let him go, they're just like all right you're gonna come back tomorrow and help us you know work on this fucking robot? Okay see you tomorrow, we trust that you're not gonna go to the cops because we just we're just trusting people and then he comes back tomorrow and they're like you should not have come back man you're gonna die. Why? Why didn't they just kill him if they had no use for him? The director Saini's got a sequel idea for District 9, don't even do it now, I'm being fed up with your shtick. The potato alays at Taco John's are the reason to keep coming back for more, I mean one of the many reasons but they're just, it's a taste explosion in your mouth which which I love, I love things exploding in my mouth, phrasing. This is kind of like a tater tot that's been circularized, that's a word, salted to perfection, deep fried and it's ready to go. Once again I can't stress enough how I'm not making any money for this shit, it'd be nice if I was. I briefly touched upon Hugh Jackman who's a character in this film, he's just a brooding douchebag who will stop at no ends to get his program out, oh yeah Robocop that was the other film that this just totally unabashedly is like let's rate this on a scale of one to ten, one being dog piss bad and ten being just superior in every way, Taco John's of course being a 12, please pay me for this, I'm going to give chap, he's gonna get a three, yeah that's a low blow, that's a low blow, but I'm sick of it, I'm sick of it, I want my District 9 type film back, I want the quality back and not just the same routine spewed out again, I should do a three-way feud on this, District 9, Elysium, Chappy, or maybe you want to see an artificial intelligence feud with iRobot, Chappy, Wally, you know all that rigamarole, you let me know in the comments and until next time I don't have a catchphrase for this show, eat some Taco John's, it's damn good, damn good