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TRUE BLOOD: The Porn

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Published on Aug 12, 2012

SOOKIES PUSSY DRIVES ALL THE SUPERNATURAL BOYS CRAZY! Just like Spartacus: Blood and Sand, I started watching True Blood to masturbate to naked muscle asses, V-Cuts and sweaty pectorals. The main event is Alcide, however the fuck you spell his name. Yes Lord! For some reason he wasn't as sexy in MAGIC MIKE...I don't think they wanted him to overshadow Tatum but I digress. True Blood, THE PORN needs to happen asap. The only problem is Layfayette...he is such a buzz kill. I get limp every time his Erykah Badu head wrap pops up on the screen. His boyfriend was kind of hot but the fact that he had kissing scenes with that queen turned me off. Sookie's pussy drives all the supernatural boys crazy. Everyone wants her fairy blood and magical pussy. Her fairy lightning bolts and mind reading just isn't interesting to me. Her cornball dialogues, floral sun dresses and horrible attempt at a Lousiana accent just makes me want to turn the channel. But then a shape shifter gets naked or Alcide comes in and rams his dick up her fairy pussy and I stay tuned. Yes Lawd!!! The plots are kind of interesting but it's just the same concepts...bloated egos and revenge. Did I mention the ongoing rehashing of everyone wanting Sookie for something? I'm tired of everyone snorting up Sookies fairy dust...what else is there to write about? I need to write for this show...or write my own damn show. I like how the show was modeled after the civil rights struggles of gays..."God Hates Fangs" and I love the play on the hypocrisy and danger of religion but the dialogue is so inauthentic.Then again, I just want everyone to shut up and fuck....I love when Alcide howls....I'll make that wolf howl.

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